Hi. I am Chuck Bartowski and I often wonder what category I belong to.
I always thought the whole group thing – popular kids in one corner, nerds in another, huge guys with biceps talking about football in the hallways, etc – only existed in some crappy Disney Channel musical or low-budget cheesy movies made for... ahem... people enjoying sweet sixteen.
What kind of class do I belong to? What do you think?
Here, I will give you some time to think it over.
I am pretty sure those of you who are familiar with my story so far have already decided.
The answer is that you are wrong.
I do not belong in any group. Shocked? I guess you don't know me at all. The problem I always faced was that my book smarts (and the huge comic book collection I have in my closet) led many people to tag me as a 'nerd' or 'geek'.
(Ironically, most other nerds (by a similar definition) that I met never really saw me as one. They probably feel I talk too much and have this pretty face thing going on. And I get along with people too much for their taste, so I don't seem like an outcast to them. I dunno. I always found their logic quite weird.)
So, what's wrong with being labeled a nerd, you ask? I guess the main issue is that most people feel obliged to be less than pleasant to me. Hell, some see it as a public service. And there are some, like my sister, who think I shouldn't even leave my own room without someone protecting my back. (You should have seen her that one time in high school when she punched a cheerleader who only dated me because she needed help with homework. If she didn't choose to be a doctor, damn sure she would have become a boxing champion someday.) Anyway, I don't like to be seen as a punching bag or a fragile individual who can't take care of himself.
So who am I, actually?
The last words my mom told me before she left... well, she didn't speak. That's probably why I didn't talk when I was young. I listen well, right? I felt abandoned. Since then, I believed that if I didn't smile, if I asked someone something they didn't like, that people would grow tired of me. That they would abandon me. That if I wasn't considerate towards them, they would end up resenting me. That if I didn't go to great lengths to make them happy, they would deem me not worth their time. That's why I always try so hard while connecting with people.
I am just a selfish guy who's afraid of being left behind by this happy world. If I ever met the right woman, the one for me, my soulmate... I'd do anything in this world for her.
...xxxxxx...xxxxx...xxxxxx...
"And yeah. My mom left after I broke that bracelet all those years ago. A couple of months later, my dad did the same thing after I walked into his workplace when he clearly told me not to." Chuck finished sullenly. "I am an adult after all. What does it matter if my parents left me and my sister? I'm not going to see them if they decide to suddenly pop up someday."
They spent hours just talking, sitting opposite each other. While Sarah occasionally contributed to the conversation, Chuck was the one who did most of the talking. In that time, the former conwoman learned much about the shy young man from Stanford. And she felt his story was definitely a sad one. Despite his misgivings, Jack never intentionally left her behind like Chuck's father did. She was quite grateful for that... not that she'd ever admit it. Especially to him. Even when he was arrested, he didn't leave without any contingency plans. Perhaps, if Graham hadn't approached her on that fateful day, she might have settled down and enjoyed a quiet peaceful life with a large sum of money that he bequeathed to her. While both of Chuck's parents abandoned him and his then 16 year-old sister, meaning she had to look after the both of them. She must have been one hell of a woman to pull that off. If this Ellie was someone like Emma, well... Chuck would have ended up a criminal and / or homeless, and he certainly wouldn't have made it to Stanford. As if all that wasn't enough, his long-time girlfriend / fiancée broke off their engagement and slept with his supposed best friend. The same individual who leveled those accusations of cheating against him, no less.
Sarah glanced at him for a moment before asking, "Did you... I mean... really steal those tests?"
Chuck felt a bit annoyed at the question but quickly regained his composure. If he lost his cool upon hearing that question from a mere student, how could he defend his integrity in front of the committee at his hearing?
"That night, I was working with my department head on a cybersecurity project. It was 11 o'clock when I returned to my room... only to confronted by my roommate, saying he found the papers under my bed and called the administration. I have never been accused of cheating before. Whether you believe me or not is up to you."
"I do." Sarah responded with a warm smile. She noticed something about him; a kindness, an innate goodness which appealed to her.
Chuck smiled back before looking away in embarrassment. "Geez, I can't believe I just dumped all that baggage on you. I just met you and... and you must have your own issues to deal with..."
"You are sweet, you know that?" She said, finally looking at him. "I wish there were more guys like you instead of those trying out for Jersey Shore."
Chuck felt a surge of confidence within himself, then looked up and finally said to Sarah, "I do hope you get what you want in life. You are amazingly beautiful..." He rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish grin but somehow managed to carry on, "...smart, and sensible. Thanks for talking to me. I'm... I'm... really happy to get to know you."
"Chuck, why don't you come by my apartment this evening?" Sarah nodded, smiling lightly at him.
"Y-your house? You... mean the place where you're staying?" Chuck's eyes widened in shock and disbelief. "But... aren't we, like, complete strangers?"
"Who just spent six hours talking to each other in the middle of the night." Sarah pointed out the obvious, playfully nudging him in the shoulders.
"Six hours?!" Chuck's head immediately jerked up. "No way!"
"Yup."
"Sure, I guess." Chuck sheepishly replied, figuring he could use the company. He didn't really know anyone here except Cole and his girlfriend Karen... Carrie... whatever her name was.
"Great." She began walking away and waved goodbye. "Meet me outside the library entrance at 8 o'clock sharp. See you then, Chuck."
Chuck waved goodbye in return and watched her vanish down the huge corridor. Letting out a hearty laugh, he shook his head and proceeded to wrap things up. In a couple of hours he had to make a presentation with Prof Rao's team and he barely slept through the night. He really hoped he would be able to pull it off without running out of fuel.
...xxxxx...xxxx...
"You were talking to Bartowski!"
"Hello to you too, Kristen. Why yes, I am having a great day. How about you?" Sarah flared her nostrils in frustration and annoyance.
Standing in front of her desk and bouncing on the balls of her feet was a Chinese-Dutch girl around her age. Beautiful, sort of a gossip queen, nosy but without the nasty attitude her former classmates from high school shared. And over the past three years, she proved to be quite the ally by helping her glide through various college societies. That didn't mean her nosy attitude didn't bother her, though.
"Oh my God, no. Why would you invite him to your apartment?" Kristen gasped as she sat at one of the tables in the cafeteria.
Sarah shrugged. "I don't know. I felt like he could use some company." She responded before taking a sip of her coffee. "Stop making a big deal of it. It's not like he'll try anything."
"He's a nerd." Kristen added with a frown. "They are nice to screw with but not someone girls like you bring on a date."
Sarah's eyebrows twitched in annoyance. She really hated being told what (not) to do by anyone, be it her own father, the CIA director or a bunch of bumbling classmates who had no idea about the harsh realities of this world.
"It's not a date."
"My cousin Julie is working on the same project as Bartowski. Trust me when I say this guy is going through hell right now. He's like a kicked puppy." Kristen continued while munching on her chips.
"He doesn't have parents." Sarah responded with a sigh.
"What do you mean by that?" Kristen asked, dumbfounded.
"His sister practically raised him on her own. His parents left both of them when he was in his teens and just last month, the love of his life walked out on him at the first sign of trouble. I am just being nice to the poor guy. He obviously needs a break from all the crap he is going through." Sarah remarked with an edge to her tone, glaring daggers at Kristen who was busy swallowing the food in her mouth.
"You are not the kind of girl who dates guys like him. People like my cousin, they're the ones who have a thing for those guys." Kristen warned cautiously.
Much to the disgust of her friend, Sarah commented with a fond smile.
"I guess he is a little cute."
...xxxx...xxxxxx...
"I knew you had it in you, mate. You know how to use protection, right?"
"Cole, I may not seem like a ladies' guy but I had this hot girlfriend back at Stanford. Besides, she never told me this was a date or anything like that. We might just end up watching a movie or grab a beer. Stuff like that."
"Let me tell you something, Charles. I know you're still not over this Jill chick but she isn't coming back, right? Just because someone broke your heart doesn't mean you should shut yourself off forever. You have to try, because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. Stay open. Who knows? Lightning could strike."
"Sharp as ever, Barker. A Meet Joe Black quote? Color me impressed."
"I aim to please, Charles. Now get the hell out of here before I throw you out the window. I have a date, for crying out loud."
...xxxxx...xxxxx...xxxxx...
Chuck walked up behind Sarah as she led him towards a modest home located several blocks from the campus.
"You live on your own?" Chuck asked out of curiosity.
"What can I say? I prefer living alone and I can afford to." Sarah responded casually as they slipped inside her bedroom. She turned to him with a warm smile. "I will be in the bathroom so make yourself comfortable."
Chuck nodded awkwardly. "Okay." Her room looked surprisingly empty and it seemed like the entire place had been repainted just a few weeks ago. From what he could tell, the place must let in a lot of natural light. There was some heavy exercise equipment lying around; a bunch of dumbbells, a huge punching bag and a couple of gloves. In short, this girl was no damsel in distress and was capable of kicking ass. He sat at the end of her bed and turned the TV on. He took a long breath in an attempt to quell the awkwardness and nervousness building inside of him.
Calm down, Chuck.
Sarah emerged from the bathroom, having applied a visibly brighter shade of lipstick, it seemed. She sat beside him on the bed and asked, "So, are you watching something?"
"Just Doctor Who." Chuck gulped nervously as he began to switch channels. "It was the first thing to pop up when I turned the TV on."
"Don't worry about it." Sarah smiled gently as she scooted a bit closer. "Was it anything good?"
Chuck shrugged. "Nah, I don't like the current Doctor. He's too much of a jerk." He quietly gazed across the room. "Your place... it's quite good."
"Not much use for me. I got selected for an special internship in this very big business conglomerate so I will be leaving for Sweden next weekend." Sarah noted, "You are a nice guy, Chuck."
"I suppose." Chuck responded weakly.
Sarah continued further, "You are. There is something about you. An innate goodness that I like." She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I like you, Chuck. You are different from everyone else."
Chuck gazed into her fiery blue eyes for a moment and responded in kind. She put her hand on his shirt and began to pull him towards her, only for him to stop her midway.
"I c-can't."
Sarah frowned, disappointment and anger flaring in her eyes. "What do you mean by that?"
"You're going through some pain and grief. I can see it in your eyes." Chuck remarked in a firm tone, taking hold of her hands. "Trust me, Sarah. The quickest way out never works. I was just like that before my professor gave me this project and I will tell you what he told me. Everyone has their moments, but it all passes. If you just endure it a little, it will pass. I don't want you to look back on this day and remember me as some desperate guy who took advantage when you were feeling vulnerable." He shrugged. "How about we just talk?"
Sarah looked away in embarrassment and confusion, unsure about what to do. "I am not good at... I'm sorry. I can't."
What the...? She's on pins and needles all of a sudden. Did I say something I wasn't supposed to?
"Sarah, please relax. You don't have to tell me anything about yourself in particular or the problems you are dealing if you don't feel comfortable doing it." Chuck said quietly with a smile. "I don't know what I am doing or what I am supposed to... but it would be nice if we could talk with one another naturally and enjoy each other's company... Like friends?" He trailed, looking away shyly before extending his hand towards her.
"You want to go from a kiss to a handshake?"
Sarah laughed a bit, her voice filled with sarcasm and amusement but she shook his hand anyway. When she did, the feeling that all would be okay spread from her hand and through her entire body. It was quite amazing and terrifying. She never knew such a handshake existed.
"What can I say? We Bartowskis tend to be quite old fashioned about a number of things."
"Well then, what would you like to drink?"
...xxxxx...xxxxx...
There was a shameless Healer reference in last chapter, thought someone would get it at a certain point XD