Chapter 11-Sinking Depths
She stood on a shoreline, the sea spreading out in front of her, in the distance was a island though barely visible from her spot. They sky was bright blue and the sun high in the sky, the only noise was the crashing of the waves at her feet.
A pull came from her heart, it pulled her out to sea.
Fear gripped her beating heart as she walked into the sea before her, the water rose from her knees to her hips to her neck before it consumed her completely. She held her breath for as long as she could and when she could not hold it, the bubbles of air escaped.
Water entered her lungs, they burned but for a moment, before they relaxed.
To her surprise, she could breath the water like air, the pull came again and she followed it with curiosity and fear. Deeper and deeper she walked on the ocean floor, the sand and rock beneath her feet though never piercing her flesh.
Finally, after some time she found the source of the pulling.
A large container of alien origin sat at the bottom of this sea. On it was an inscription she recognized as Cybertronian writing. But, for some odd reason she knew what the symbols meant.
It said; 'A Gift meant for One, To Alight the Darkness.'
She touched it and the writing lighted up with a dull blue glow that surrounded her in these ocean depths. It split apart and inside was a staff of white metal with a blue crystal sprouting from the top like it was grown on top of it. A feeling of power washed over her and just before she could grasp it, she was jerked away from it and into darkness.
Eleanor shot up from her bed, sweat dripping from her face as she breathed heavily. She rubbed her head, the headache had returned once more. These headaches had begun sometime after Optimus gave his vow to protect her, as well as the dream that remained the same.
She looked out of her bedroom window and saw the melting snow and bright sunny day outside. They were well into March, two weeks, yet Megatron had yet come. She couldn't blame him, he only said he come back in March, so it could be any day now.
Eleanor then smelled someone making breakfast, quickly getting dressed in a pink floral dress without her gloves or boots she raced outside her room to see standing at her stove just finishing making eggs and toast was Optimus Prime himself.
"I didn't know you could cook?" She said, surprised to even see him here at all.
He turned back, setting the plate on the table.
"You'd be surprised how much of human culture I have taken up to learning since I met you." She giggled to herself as she sat down and started eating while he sat adjacent to her.
"Well," She said between bites, "You are very good at it."
"Glad you like it, though it was a third try." He pointed to the counter where some ruined eggs and burnt toast was.
She laughed at the sight, wondering where that burning smell was coming from.
"Never change, Optimus." He chuckled to himself rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.
After she finished breakfast the pair headed out to the barn to feed the animals. The Bluebells were peeking through once more from the snow that melted away slowly, though made the ground a little muddy.
As the feed each animal, Optimus asked something.
"Ellie," A nickname he came up with a while ago, "What is it like, to have little to no memory?"
She stopped in her work, thinking for a moment, she remembered when she had told him everything about her past and her limbs, it was just a few weeks ago. At the time he had been quiet and thoughtful, she guess now that he had time to think it was time to discuss it once more, which she didn't mind.
"Well, it is hard I will say that. It feels like a piece of you is missing and you can feel lost. But, the new memories I forge help make that feeling go away as I rediscover myself, why do you ask?
He was silent for a moment.
"I ask because I want erase some of my memories." She froze, his face was hardened as he stared into space, a tension started to grow from the air of darkness that seemed to hang over Optimus.
He went on, "I want to erase the war from my memory, all the sadness, anger, the victories and losses, the death. But, I want to erase my memory of when I received the Matrix of Leadership. I want to be Orion Pax, ignorant to the death of the world, ignorant to my tormented spark and the darkest evils of this universe."
He looked at her, with a dead look.
"I want to be numb, I want to be free from the pain. I want to be normal again."
Her emerald green eyes were wide at his words, that darkness in his blue eyes seemed endless, and it frightened her to the core.
"Optimus, how could you say that?" He looked down again, tension evident in his stiff stance as he leaned against a support beam.
"Because, it's the truth." He simply stated.
"No, this is not the way Optimus. I understand, you are in pain from what the war has done to you. You want all those bad emotions, memories to be scrubbed clean. You want to go back to the way things are, but you can't Optimus, no one can.'
'I may of lost my memory but I still feel emotions to those blank slates, it never goes away and it never can. But, what happens when you do forget? You will also forget those good times, spent with those you loved, like Elita-One.'
He looked at her, his eyes wide.
'You'll forget her too just so you can't feel anything. But, as well, those dark experiences have molded you into who you are today, if our lives were perfect it wouldn't be worth living, things live and things die, it is the cycle of life and you can't escape it, not now, not then and not ever."
There was a stunning silence, the animals were the only noise in the barn. After a couple of minutes he spoke.
"But, it hurts." His voice was weak, tears were welling up. "It hurts so much, I just want it to stop."
She grabbed him into a hug and she whispered, "I know it hurts, but that is life. It is horribly and painful but it is also beautiful and magical. It's what we call being a Human Being, because to be a Human you must understand pain and suffering, but you must also understand love and compassion."
He cried, it had been a long time since he had. The weight of two worlds had always weighed him down and now, they crumpled off as his dam broke. They collapsed onto the floor and remained together until the weight of two worlds was finally gone.
"Thank you, Ellie. I think I can truly call you a great friend."
"And you as well, Orion." He raised an eyebrow, "What? It's you're original name, and besides, I like it better."
He laughed, wiping the last remain tears away.
"Never change, Ellie."