Hello wonderful readers! Sorry, this chapter took a whole month to finish, I was an idiot and wrote the last part first and then the first half gave me so much trouble to try to connect them.

Review shout outs to Bree, delovlies, Lizcran (HIII!), mnbvcxz-xx, Runawaygirl8125, Miss Kaydence, Nameless, bibliophile609 and the marvelous ladyanj (x2)!

This chapter is basically me being extra and extending the ball! Enjoy loves!

…

So far, the night was wonderful.

Gracie pressed another glass of champagne into Lissa's hand, a blur of pink tulle in the sparkling lights.

"Isn't this great!" She squealed, bouncing up and down, sending her own champagne sloshing over the rim and onto Damian's sleeve, seeing as how Gracie had her arm locked around his.

"It's pretty awesome," Lissa agreed, laughing at her friend's antics as she set aside the glass. The little princesses hadn't quite reached their bedtime and until then, she probably should remain sober. They were currently with their mother; Queen Christine had been nice enough to give Lissa several breaks and also spend time with her kids.

"I don't remember it being quite as fun when we were in the Selection!" Gracie, well, squealed again. She already did that a lot and having copious amounts of champagne weren't making her do it any less.

An equally buzzed Damian wrapped his arms tightly around her and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek.

"That's because I wasn't there," he said. Gracie squirmed away from her boyfriend with giggles as he kissed her neck.

"You guys are disgustingly cute," Lissa told them. "And by that, I mean just disgusting."

"You're right, we are," Gracie agreed, though made no movement to untangle herself from Damian. The Great Room was packed with revelers celebrating the victory of the civil war and a secure monarchy, and despite the increasingly late hour, no one showed much sign of stopping.

Except maybe Wesley. Lissa cast a brief glance over to one of the back corners of the massive room, half-hidden in the shadows between the outdoor terrace and the edge of the room. It was the last place she had seen him, and he was still there, leaning against the wall—alone.

She could see many of his Selected scattered around the room, but none of them thought to keep the sulking prince company.

That didn't mean she would either, though.

She jumped a little when she felt a hand steal over her back where her gown was cut low, and her thoughts ran far, far away from Wesley.

"Hey," Joseph said softly, well at least as softly as one could speak above the music. He left his hand on the small of her back, his hand warm against her skin. "Are you enjoying your working party?"

He smirked that cocky little half-grin he always used around her, and Lissa swore she could feel her heart rate pick up—that and the giddy butterflies dancing in her stomach.

"I know it probably makes me a total nerd to admit it, but yes, I actually am!"

He laughed and leaned in closer, so she could smell his intoxicating cologne. "I'm not surprised, it's something you definitely would. It's kind of adorable."

Lissa sidled away just a bit, just to tease him, not to get away. "Oh, I'm adorable, am I?"

"Adorable isn't exactly the word that comes to mind when I see you in that dress," his eyes skimmed briefly over her, and—

The butterflies immediately were gone. Replaced by the tinge of nausea.

It was probably meant as a flirty, suggestive comment, something teasing and innocent. Even a compliment.

But that's not how it made her feel.

It made her feel cheap. Thrown back into the nightclub, leered at by men probably cheating on their wives and being disgusting, while she lost every single shred of her decency and pride, and danced for them because she had to make sure her brothers got to eat somehow and had clean clothes and roof over their heads.

And it was never something she wanted to feel again.

Lissa crossed her arms tightly over herself and wished she had ignored Gracie and worn that blazer anyway. She looked around her friend but didn't see her or Damian anywhere. There was no sign of Nicole or Christine or the girls either, just a sea of faces she didn't recognize.

Joseph was looking at her funny now as she clammed up, but he didn't say anything about it.

"So, while Queen Christine has her daughters, do you want to dance some more? I highly doubt Prince Wesley will ever admit to needing my valet services, so I've been free all night."
Lissa shook her head. "No. Not right now, sorry." She blurted out.

It wasn't Joseph's fault. She really liked him, he was impossibly cute and confident, and she had seen glimpses of his sweet and vulnerable side, and he flirted with her in a way that made her pulse go crazy.

But—

"Lissa?"

"I just don't feel like dancing right now, okay?" she said, louder. She tossed her hair back and stood up straighter.

She never wanted to feel cheap and humiliated and trashy ever again. Ever.

"Okaay," Joseph said, his tone skeptical. "Well, can I get you a champagne or something?"

"No, thank you. I'd better go see if Christine needs me, sorry," she apologized and bolted before he could say anything.

The song was ending just as she made it to the edge of the dance floor where the queen and the little princesses were, and her charges immediately latched onto her. Christine shot her an apologetic look as she spoke to some important looking person, but Lissa didn't mind, she was glad for the distraction.
"Are you guys having fun?" she asked the little princesses, taking their little sweaty hands.

Evangeline was bouncing up and down excitedly, sending Gracie-worthy amounts of pink tulle from her miniature ball gown. "Can we go back to the chocolate fountain?"

"I want to dance with Uncle Wesley again!" Sophie cried, dressed in a dress that matched her twin's except in lavender. "There he is!"

Before Lissa could react, the welcome distraction turned into a huge problem as Sophie broke free from Lissa's grip, and went flying across the ballroom to where Wesley was still standing alone.

Lissa cursed quietly under her breath and tightened her grip on Evangeline and took off in pursuit of Sophie before she fell or knocked over someone- or actually made it to Wesley and she had to face him again.

Weaving her way through dancing guests and increasingly intoxicated people after a child with another one in tow, in a ball gown and heels that had seemed really cute until she had worn them for three hours was something she should have come to expect in her job, but it was still really frickin' difficult, and Lissa still ended up with champagne splashed on her arm, though thankfully most of her dress escaped unscathed.

What she didn't avoid, however, was getting Sophie back.

By the time they had crossed the entire span of the Great Room, Sophie had already reached Wesley, and when Evie saw this, she broke free too, so when Lissa finally caught up, both girls were already embracing their uncle and giggling like maniacs.

At least he was finally smiling.

He had knelt down and draped an arm over both of them, and was telling them one of his lame jokes that made the girls cackle with laughter. They cast sheepish glances at her, but for the moment, Lissa was still too out of breath to reprimand them.

Wesley looked up, and his smile faded as he saw her.

"Oh. Hey."

"Hey," she managed, still out of breath. "Sorry about that, they kind of ambushed you."

Wesley looked back at his nieces. "Don't worry about, I never mind being ambushed." He pretended like he was about to tickle them and the girls squealed and squirmed away.

"Dance with us!" Evie exclaimed.

"Please, Uncle Wesley!" Sophie echoed.

Wesley glanced at Lissa, and she forced a quick smile. "Fine by me."

The girls broke into delighted laughter, and all but dragged Wesley back out to the dance floor. Kinda terrible but fantastically upbeat pop music was blaring, and Wesley took both of their hands and engaged in some cringe-worthy dancing that the girls were thoroughly enjoying, judging by the giant grins on their little faces.

Lissa took the time to catch her breath from her ballroom-dash and couldn't resist surveying the room. Several of the Selected now had their eyes trained on the prince, and she could see many of the girls with dreamy gazes and heart-eyes on their faces. Lady Nikoli and Lady Alyex looked especially interested, as did Lady Eleanor and Lady Vera, to a lesser degree. Lissa also Joseph standing with some of the other upper-tier servants, though he was looking at her. He tried to mouth something across the room to her, but she pretended not to notice.

When the music changed, Evie and Sophie rushed back to her, and she immediately knew something was up by the devilish look in their eyes. Wesley trailed behind them, his neck flushed. He slipped out of his suit jacket.

"We have a request!" Sophie announced, before turning to Wesley with an expectant glance. Evie tugged on his shirt sleeve.

"And what would that be?" Lissa played along.

Both girls looked up at their uncle, leaving it for him to answer. He avoided Lissa's eyes and rubbed his hand along the back of his head.

"Uhhh, they kinda want me to dance with you," he mumbled, eyes on his shoes.

"Please, Miss Lissa?" The girls begged, bombarding her with all sorts of pleas and promises, jumping up and down like maniacs.

Wesley was grinning at his nieces, that silly, crooked grin that made the skin around his eyes crinkle and his eyes scrunch up, exactly the way she remembered it, even if she didn't want to.

Neither of them wanted to be the first to say yes, but the onslaught by the princesses was getting stronger.

Lissa kept her eyes on Evie and Sophie, "Only if you guys promise not to make a fuss and go straight to bed when your mom says it's bedtime."

"We promise!" they chorused, giggling too excitedly to get much else out. Evie turned to Wesley. "Uncle Wesley?"

And then he looked at Lissa, finally.

Only for a second, before his gaze darted away. He cleared his throat and then held out his hand to her before making eye contact again.

"I suppose we have too. Technically, they rank higher on the heirs-to- the- throne list than I do," he joked, but the flush on his neck deepened.

It was just one dance. Surely anyone could handle just one dance. It was a ball.

"Technically, I'm still on duty, so their wish is my command," Lissa replied, meeting his eyes. She took his offered hand, tighter than probably necessary, but she wasn't sure she would find the courage to take it again if she let go.

And then, of course, of course, the wild pop music that had been playing during Wesley's dance with his nieces, and for like the last thirty minutes chose that exact moment to change to something slow and romantic and maybe she couldn't handle just one dance.

They stood there for probably a bit too long, not sure what to do, until Wesley just smiled and led her to join the other dancers, and acted like nothing had ever happened, not the music, and not them.

He put his hand on her waist like they had never met before, careful to keep his hand on the fabric part of her dress and not her bare skin, and she put her hand on his shoulder, looking everywhere else but at him. They swayed a little in time to the music, taking little awkward steps. Lissa was glad it wasn't anything fancy, she had forgotten anything dance-wise she had learned during her own time in Ethan's Selection.

After a bit of silence, Wesley spoke up. "I'm sorry I was such a jerk the first night of the Selection at the reception. And for…ruining your date the other day. Downtown. The shorts. The entire population filming it. That was not one of my finer moments, was it?"

"It's okay," Lissa said quickly. She could feel his pulse pounding underneath her fingers as she gripped his hand. She looked back over to where Evie and Sophie were watching them, delighted grins on their faces, and nodded in their direction. "I think they're enjoying this a little too much."

"It's just…why are you dating Joseph?" Wesley didn't follow her diversion. Not at all. "He's kind of a total jerk."

Lissa finally forced her eyes to go back to his. "Wes," she sighed, using the nickname before she even thought about it. "Please. Don't."

Everything about this was too similar. The way the golden lights washed over the Great Room, the press of bodies around them, the feel of his hand in hers, even her dress.

It was all too similar to that night.

The night of their shared birthday, the masquerade ball, the first rebel attack.

The night he saved her from the rebels, more than once.

The night he told her he loved her.

But that haunted look in his eyes, the dark sleepless bruises, that was new. The remaining Selected were new, her boyfriend standing somewhere behind them was new.

Wesley gripped her hand tighter, and Lissa fought against the urge to pull away and to pull herself closer.

Some things hadn't changed at all, she realized. But they would never be those kids again. Because now, he wasn't just that crazy kid who would wear a tuxedo mask to a ball and make them all play sardines.

Now, he was staring at her, and those haunted, sleepless eyes were asking her to save him.

"Because-" he began, his voice choked, "it's just that…every time I see you with him, there's this part of me that tears into two and inside…I just die."

"Don't. Please, Wes. Don't." Lissa begged. "It's not—it's not your problem anymore. We grew up, remember?"

He looked at her, really looked at her, and the gaze burned into Lissa, and she wished nothing had ever changed.

"I know. Actually, I don't. I don't know why!" he started talking faster and faster, "But I can't...I can't forget! Because every time I thought I was going to die up north I would get this little memory stuck in my head of you, and it won't go away. I see you with Joseph and something happens-I'm back there, and oh God, Drake died and it's my fault and I almost died and sometimes I wish I did and we're dead we're dead we're dead and I can't sleep and the memories never go away and sometimes it's so real I don't know what's real and what's not and…" Wesley blinked away the wet in his eyes, and he looked so lost, "Lis, I think I'm losing my mind."

Her heart broke.

She had seen him freaked out at the opening reception, but he had played it off as nerves and alcohol. And she had thought he was okay. And she had been so mad at him for what he had said, what he had thought about her…she hadn't even watched out for him. For one of the best people she had ever known, who had changed her life, who she had loved.

"Oh, Wes," she whispered, pressing herself closer in their dance if only to hug him. He leaned forward, the side of his face pressed into her hair. She could hear him breathing hard and ragged, and wrapped her arm tighter around his back.

"Hey," she said softly into his ear. "Wherever you are, it's okay. You can come back from it. Whatever happened to you up there, whatever the world looks like now, that's not how it always looks. That's not how it's always going to look, you hear me? There's always more."

Wesley didn't respond aside from trying-not-to-cry sounds, and she didn't make him. She just held him tight, so they wouldn't fall down, and they just stood there and swayed a little, like all the other dancers, stuck in their own world, where time was frozen and no one had their heart broken or got left behind or anything.

The music ended, and the Great Room was getting brighter. Someone was doing that thing where you click a knife against a glass, calling for a toast or something.

Wesley raised his head, and Lissa let go of his hand and moved the arm around his back. The lights were up now and it probably wouldn't look good embracing the prince having a Selection, even if there was nothing between them anymore.

"I should go," she said, nodding over to where they were earlier, "the girls…" she took a step away, but Wesley reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Look, I know that we didn't last and that everything changed, but…what if I never forget you? What if, all my life, when I meet someone new, I can never fall for them because they aren't you?"

The words tumbled out of him a rush and he looked just as surprised that he had said them as she was to hear them.

"What?" she stammered. "What do you mean?"

"I—"

Lissa looked behind her, but she didn't see Evie and Sophie. She saw Lady Eleanor and Lady Alyex, and several others. She saw Queen Francesca watching them. She saw Joseph staring at her, his arms crossed.

"I didn't mean-" Wesley tried to explain but Lissa yanked her arm away.

"I have to go. I'm sorry, Wesley," she walked as fast as she could the other direction.

Andrew and Christine had collected both of the girls, and the royal family was standing together on the raised platform in the back of the Great Room, without Wesley. Andrew was making some speech about the war, and the hard cost of victory, and asking those who had fought to come forward but Lissa didn't listen. She ignored her governess responsibilities, she ignored Joseph, she ignored her friends, she just ran to the doors and pushed past them.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

The Main Hall was empty and Lissa's steps faltered as she left the noise of the Great Room behind her, her heels echoing loudly on the marble floors. She wrapped her arms around herself and stopped in the middle of it all.

Wesley wasn't even supposed to be here. She was just supposed to work here and not ever see him again.

And then she was going to be okay without him. And everything had been going so well, with Joseph, with her job, her friends.

And he was so utterly broken and lost and maybe somewhere there was this tiny part of her that still cared for him—

The doors opened behind her, and Lissa heard footsteps. She didn't have to turn to know that it was Wesley, and the realization made her grit her teeth against the emotion that threatened to break apart inside her.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked, keeping her back to him, "you're supposed to be in there."

There was the sound of a step closer. "Lissa, what's wrong? Is there a problem? Because if it's me-"

"Yes," Lissa cut him off, crossing her arms tightly around herself. "Why did you have to say that?"

"I don't know!" Wesley gestured wildly. "I don't know anything anymore!"

"I'm not prepared for that!" she spun around to face him and couldn't stop herself from shouting the words, though she hated the thick-about-to-angry-cry way her voice sounded. "Despite what you think, my life does not revolve around you. It wasn't supposed to be like this!"

Wesley didn't respond, leaving her words echoing in the empty corridor.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this for me either," he finally said, eyes on the ground. "I don't know why…I don't know why I said what I did, but the way you held me, the way you looked at me…everything felt so right. It was like everything was going to be okay. I can't remember what peace is supposed to be like, but I think it feels a lot like you. And I'm not sure I can ever forget that."

Lissa took a step closer to him, but she stopped there.

"I won't ever forget you either. But maybe that's the only forever the two of us together were ever meant to have."

"Yeah," he said quietly. "I guess you're right."

Another silence stretched between them, but neither of them filled it with the words they wanted to really say.

"I think you should tell someone, about what you've been dealing with," Lissa said. "Someone who knows more than me. Elvira or Ethan or…one of the Selected, I guess."

He only nodded as he nudged the toe of his shoe on the floor.

"I should go," Lissa said.

"No, you deserve to enjoy yourself," Wesley piped up, rubbing his shadowed eyes. "I wasn't having that great of a time anyway. I think I'm just going to crash now. I've got lots to do tomorrow."

"No," Lissa pressed her lips together, shaking her head. "That's not what I meant. I don't think I should stay here anymore. At the palace. It would just be too hard. For both of us."

He looked at her for a long moment and then nodded just the slightest.

"We were always going to say goodbye again, weren't we?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Wesley glanced up, meeting her eyes. "I loved you though, back then. I loved you so much."

"I know, I know," she whispered, fighting back the lump growing in her throat. "I loved you too."

Lissa turned away before he could see the tears in her eyes. Anything left unsaid now would have to stay that way. She could leave tonight, it would be easier than explaining to Joseph and Gracie and everyone else. She picked up the skirt of her gown and hurried up the stairs.

The longer she stayed the harder it would be to go.

"Wait—"

Lissa stopped, only making just past the first landing. She looked down at Wesley. For a moment she thought she had made it up in her head.

"I—" he began. "I want you to stay. You shouldn't have to leave on account of me. You have a great job, a great place to live," his voice fell a bit, "a boyfriend." He looked at her dead in the eyes. "I can't take that away from you just because we're a little awkward around each other. Please, don't leave."

She smiled at him before she could stop herself. "Really?"

Wesley cleared his throat. "Yes, really! I couldn't very well let my niece's favorite governess leave, now could I? I'd never hear the end of it. Besides, both of us have a lot left to live for, and we shouldn't stand in each other's way. Just because everything is different now…well, it shouldn't change me and you. We can still be friends."

He laughed it off like it was nothing. And back in that ballroom was her boyfriend and all of his Selected, and his mother and his birthright, and her fear and hesitation.

But he was looking at her like she was something worth looking at. And that wasn't a way she'd been looked at before.
Lissa made her decision.

"Okay. I'll stay. But not for you. For me."

He grinned from below the stairs and held out his hand to her. Lissa hesitated. She had tried this before and so far she had survived. It wasn't about Wesley. It was about her. The next thing she knew her feet were carrying her back down the stairs, and she was shaking his hand in a pact.

"Friends?" he asked.

Lissa nodded. "Friends."

And off they went, back into the Great Room, as friends. Even if nothing could ever change between them.

…

Another announcement that kinda sucks: So…I'm extremely excited because about 3 weeks ago (another delay to this chapter), I was offered a job to work out in Yellowstone National Park, and I have accepted, but it's a six-month position until October, and I leave next week. I'm not going to say that this is the last update until then, because I will have internet access and I'm bringing my laptop, but it's a 40 hour a week job and I don't want to spend my days off writing when I'm in such a cool place. I plan on still writing because I love it but expect (even more) update time and probably shorter chapters for now.