Chapter 32

Two stories left; King and Merlin.

Neither, of course, I was able to get a hold of. Merlin hadn't been around for a week. And King…

Well, he flat out avoided me like the plague.

Our morning meetings seemed no longer as critical as they had been. We'd had one this whole week and that was only with Meliodas present. Completely different from when King and I would spend hours going over what they knew.

Meliodas' 'recommendation' caused the shift, I was sure.

King had never avoided me before. So that was the only reason I could come up with for why he'd suddenly change. He wasn't rude or anything. He still chatted with me — just not as easily as before. And now, he'd make damn certain that we weren't ever alone for more than a handful of seconds. Most likely making sure that I couldn't corner him.

By the time Friday rolled around, I was itching to hear his story. Of course I wanted to hear everyone's, but with how outright King was putting it off, it had only made my curiosity grow.

Meliodas, King and I were having another meeting in the basement when Meliodas let out a heavy sigh.

King paused mid sentence and quirked a brow at him. "Something on your mind, Boss?"

"Well," Meliodas smiled cheekly, "since you asked, I kinda do."

The ginger rolled his eyes. "What is it?"

"Are you going to share or not?"

King frowned and Meliodas kept on smiling.

I resisted the urge to stomp on the blond's foot for bringing up the topic. He said he wouldn't force the Sins and that it was their own choice on whether or not to tell me. Why was he bringing it up now?

"Not a lot of time left, ya know?" Meliodas offered with a shrug when King didn't respond.

"I'm aware."

"I'll leave you guys to it then." He grinned and pushed back his chair, heading for the door with an ease to his saunter - like he hadn't just forced King's hand.

"Meliodas!" I hissed. "What are you doing?"

The leader of the Sins chuckled, turning back to peer at me with a raised brow. "Giving him a push. He wants to tell you, but, well… King'll procrastinate right up until the end if someone doesn't get him started."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Boss." The ginger replied dryly.

"No problem!" He winked at me and opened the door. He shot King an amused expression. "I'm assuming I don't need to lock this?"

King's whole face morphed into barely concealed exasperation. "Please don't."

Meliodas laughed again, one lazy wave and he was gone.

I blinked. Not quite sure how to go about asking the question I was dying to ask.

King's expression hadn't changed much. He sifted through a few papers, organizing them and putting them back in folders. It seemed like he was either getting ready to talk or maybe just leave. His demeanor remained eerily calm.

The kind that hit right before a storm.

A familiar kind of guilt started to claw at me, watching him shuffle his hands about, like it would help him organize the just barely hidden emotions just under his skin. Just like Gowther. And while I had difficulties before, I was much better at reading the expressions the Sins tried so hard to hide - and King and Gowtherr shared that look of shame that made me want to turn tail and walk away.

"King-" I started only to have him cut me off.

"So just me left?"

I shook my head, "No. I haven't had a chance to catch Merlin either."

"Well that's fitting." He continued at my perplexed expression, "That the two of us would be the last ones."

"Well, to be fair to Merlin, she just hasn't been around." I poked his shoulder lightly, trying to lighten the suddenly tense mood that had washed over us. "You've been avoiding me."

He hummed good naturedly. "Noticed that, huh?"

"You weren't exactly subtle about it."

The ginger shrugged, unbothered by my observation. "Outta practice I guess."

A silence passed between us. Neither one of us seemed ready to approach the topic.

"Soo." I nibbled on the inside of my lip. "I guess we're going to talk about it?"

"That's why I'm here."

"Is it really so horrible?" The words left me in a rush. I almost cringed at how tactless that came out.

He fiddled with his hoodie string. "Might be." He told me flatley.

"Diane did say you had the dirtiest hands," I teased in an attempt to lighten the mood, but even I could tell my heart wasn't in it.

That didn't stop King from raising a single brow. "I hope she was making a sex joke."

A laugh bubbled from my lips. "She was."

"Figures." He smirked lightly.

Another brief silence. King inhaled deeply and then launched into his story.

"Elaine and I are orphans from across the ocean." He strolled through the begining easily. "I couldn't tell you what happened to our parents. Murdered, left, who knows. We stayed on the street and when I'd finally learned enough, I managed to get Elaine enrolled in school."

"And you?"

He smiled ruefully. "Never been to a day of school in my life, Princess."

"You're kidding." My jaw slacked as I looked at him in disbelief.

"Not at all." He told me seriously. "Im not the only one, either. Gowther hasn't either, in case you hadn't guessed that. Nor Ban."

Ban wasn't surprising given his background. Gowther too made sense now that King pointed it out. "But how…"

"It's not like I enrolled her in some rich private school." He chuckled lightly at my buemesment. "It was public school in a low-income neighborhood. Wasn't all that difficult to enroll her. They just wanted bodies to fill the chairs."

I mulled over his words, still unbelieving. "Well, what did you do then?"

"Made a living for us the best I could - different time, different place, child labor laws weren't exactly enforced the same way. Made enough to get us a small shitty apartment. Nothing great but it was four walls and a door, and the landlord liked his privacy." He smoothly moved over what should have been a hard recollection. "Everything was fine for a few years. Until I got caught."

"Caught?"

"I was twelve. The jobs I could pick up were first-come, first-serve, and barely paid. So, there weren't many options for me to make good money besides stealing and bartering over goods that I had found or had stolen. Someone was bound to get pissed off and catch me. And they just had to be the gang that ran that region."

He paused looking me over one last time before letting out a sigh.

"The Fairies."

I laughed before I could catch myself. "You've got to be kidding. The Fairies?"

"You got it." King nodded, his tone told me he really wasn't joking.

"Sorry," I cleared my throat, and apologized sheepishly. "It's just… not a name that invokes fear."

He snorted. "Neither were the Peaky Blinders, 40 Elephants, Elephant and Castle Gang, or the Daybreak Boys, or in the last twenty years, the Gooch and Doddington Gangs; but they all were some of the most notorious gangs of their times. The Fairies are no different."

I straightened up at his explanation. "How - how did you end up here? How do you survive pissing off a gang like that?"

He laughed. Outright laughed at my honest question. "Asked myself that same question for a long time. Apparently, I had caught the attention of the leader, Gloxinia. He fed me some line about outsmarting his goons and how he wanted me to do some work for him."

A lump formed in my throat, having a guess at where this was going.

He shrugged, guessing at my thoughts, "So, I asked what he had to offer in return." King stared me in the eye and I could see the honesty behind it. "And then I started working for him."

"Why?"

"Tough to say no to the man who runs the city." He dragged his eyes away. "Maybe I would have said no if it was just me but…"

"Elaine."

"Elaine." He nodded. "Gloxinia knew I had a sister and promised protection if I helped him out. Said he could make life a lot easier for us. And he did."

I couldn't believe this. King had joined a gang. At the age of twelve. How did that even happen? As an officer, I knew exactly how this happened. His wasn't an uncommon story. But that didn't make it any easier to swallow.

"Things were pretty mellow for a few years. The gang is actually where I picked up the nickname, ya know? Didn't really want people to know me as Harlequin and Gloxinia thought it was hilarious to call me King. It stuck." He told me in a bored tone. "After that I met Helbram and finally had my initiation."

"Oh god... What did they make you do for that?"

"Doesn't matter." He waved off my question with concerning ease. "Gloxinia made me an official member. Not that anyone really knew the difference. I had been there for two years already. The only one near my age was Helbram."

Helbram. He kept repeating his name. "And Helbram was?"

A wistful smile crossed his face. "My best friend. And…" King swallowed thickly, a far away look in his eye before he shook his head and said, "Gloxinia's nephew."

He moved on not giving me a chance to ponder on his reaction.

"Helbram made the days bearable. He eventually learned my real name and met Elaine."

My eyes widened, realizing how big of a deal that must have been for King. The person who kept absolutely everything on a need to know basis.

"Before I knew it, another few years had gone by." His lips settled back into a tight line. "My work with the gang became more and more involved. It wasn't long before I knew more than even Helbram. Maybe even as much as Gloxinia."

That seemed… odd. That the leader of a gang would let a kid off the street like King know so much about his operation. Why?

"He wanted me to take over for him." King answered, somehow reading my thoughts again through my expression.

We stared at each other. The ginger allowed me to process the shocking information. To think that he had become so involved within the gang that the leader himself ended up grooming him for take over.

"Did you take it?"

"I was never much one for planning the future. I'm not all that ambitious." King dodged the question. "I only had one goal in mind. Get Elaine through school and as far away from that life as possible. Hopefully far away from where we lived. Anything else wasn't important."

"So you said yes." My hands fisted in my lap.

A surprising amount of anger hit me at the thought of King putting himself at more risk simply because he didn't think of anything more for his future.

"Helbram gave me a book once. Just randomly, out of nowhere." He smiled at me, silently urging me to just listen as he, again, avoided answering my question. "It was on geography, of all things. Told me it was boring but he somehow knew that those kinds of books, along with high fantasy adventures, were my favorite. He said I was never meant to be where I was. That I would do great things when Elaine and I got out of that shithole of a city.

"That's what I thought of when Gloxinia asked me. And while I'd never given it much thought. I immediately told him no." He explained lightly.

My jaw dropped. "No? You flat up told the leader of the Fairies, no?"

He chuckled. "You forget, Princess. This guy personally recruited me off the streets, gave me orders and listened to whatever I had to say on a daily basis. I was far more his equal at that point than a simple member. Had been for quite a while."

"He wasn't angry with you?"

"In a way he was, sure, but I think he expected it. He laughed when I told him. Asked what else I planned on doing." He shifted back and forth in his seat. "Told him as soon as Elaine was done with school, we'd be gone. He argued and said I'd need schooling to make it in the 'real world', but I pushed back on that. I'd been doing just fine without it so far. And," King smiled smugly. "it's not like it'd be the first time I forged something for my own goals."

I shook my head, attempting to hide my fondness.

He was the one who made the invitations for us to get into the party. Probably made the transcript for his little sister to get into school too. And he had been, what - ten at that time? I was fairly certain that King could manifest whatever documents he may have needed to get a job.

"Life went on, business as usual." The ginger fiddled with his hoodie. Like he needed to distract himself from the words he was saying. "Gloxinia brought up the offer at least once a week. I brushed him off. Rinse, repeat."

He anxiously tugged at his sleeves.

"It was almost spring and I was running late one day. Not an uncommon occurrence for me. Time was just always something that slipped away from me."

I smiled at his disappointed expression.

"But that day… that day I should have been on time!" He spat angirly. "If I would have been I could have-!" He stopped himself, slamming a fist onto the table.

I'm not sure when I reached over, not until I could feel my hand squeezing his, hoping to ease his tension. Confused by his sudden change in demeanor.

King inhaled deeply. "Helbram was going to pick up Elaine after school. One of us was always there to meet her. To make sure she was safe. He was good like that, always picking up the slack for me…"

His expression was solmen. Twisted. Causing my stomach to do the same.

"What happened?" I pressed pass the feeling of dread.

"I had gone home to meet them, like I always did. They weren't there. I panicked and retraced the route back to the school they should have taken." He shut his eyes and tilted his head back. "I found Helbram in a pool of his own blood. Stabbed, multiple times. My sister was nowhere to be found."

I inhaled sharply. Chills rushed over me.

"Helbram was obviously in bad shape… but he told me where to find her - though I already had a guess on who took her."

"Gloxinia." I whispered, horrified.

He nodded. "Helbram… he…" King took a deep breath. "He died in my arms. Telling me that it wasn't my fault and that I still should get out of that fucking city. To save Elaine and tell her he was sorry."

I blinked back tears. "Oh my god."

"I went to the hideout. No one bothered to stop me, not that they ever did, but I was expecting some kind of resistance. The lack of should have been my first clue. Gloxinia knew I would come." King growled harshly as he spat out his words. "Fucking bastard abducted my sister and sold her. Like fucking livestock! An object for him to use for his own fucking benefit! Said she was just in the way."

His hands began to shake in fist by his side.

"I threatened him." King's voice dropped to a deadly whisper. "Let him know that I was seriously thinking about killing him with the blade I had at his throat. He didn't think I had it in me to follow through with the threat." He gritted his teeth, expression scrunched together in torment. "I was so close. So close to ending him because I was so fucking angry. At him. At Helbram. But mostly at myself. For letting it happen in the first place. For being late."

Sloth. The word rang forcefully in the silence.

I stared at him, unable to form any words to his confession. None of the Sins had pleasant stories. But this was on another level. King's was dark and twisted. The others were circumstances that they found themselves in. But this… it was horrible to think, but King had set himself on this path.

And he knew it too.

"I couldn't do it in the end." He finally spoke. His amber eyes flickered to mine for a second, searching for something. "The bastard was right about me again. I knocked him out and got the hell out of that godforsaken city. Nothing but the clothes on my back and all the cash I had saved up over the years."

"You went to find Elaine."

He dipped his chin once in acknowledgment.

"How?" I pushed past the revolt this whole story was making me feel. "How did you even know where to start? You said Gloxinia didn't give you anything."

"He didn't."

"King-"

"Princess." He stopped me. His tone was cold. Like when he spoke to me that day Elaine showed up.

The exchange made way more sense now. King had been scared of me taking his little sister away. Because it had already happened before.

"What kind of experience do you think a man like me would have gathered?" King quirked a brow. He studied my face as he went on. "What kind of skills would I have needed to get to where I was at in one of the most ruthless gangs? One that you've even heard of here, across the ocean on an entirely different continent."

A lump formed in my throat. I had my suspicions. But I didn't want to put them into words. Putting them to words… it would make them true.

"Come on, Princess," He smiled sadly, "you can say it."

"T-Torture." I stuttered out. Hating how it sounded. "Gang initiations are notoriously horrible. I can only imagine what you had to do just to get in to it."

He hummed. "Actually, that was a form of my initiation. Luckily it didn't happen until I was fourteen and lucky that I had Helbram there." His lips quirked. "Never would have made it in as an official member if he hadn't been."

King moved on before I could think more about what that meant.

"So yeah, torture among many other things. But that was the most useful to get information from people. Gloxinia had a wide network of informants. It wasn't possible, or smart of him, to let me know all of them. But I think I still had a handle on about ninety percent of them. That ninety lead me to the other ten. The ones who knew all about what I needed."

"About where Elaine was."

"Yeah." King's expression grew dark again. "She'd been moved a couple of times, into a couple different hands. People who worked in totally different circles than I had up to that point. Apparently Gloxinia had lied. He must have hoped that I would yield when I knew he had my sister. When I didn't, then he followed through with what he'd originally said."

He let out a deep breath.

"Meaning my initial search had been a complete waste. I had struggled to find information about her, because she hadn't even existed within the rings yet." His amber eyes flashed dangerously. "I had to start over. It took me two fucking years and a trip across the ocean to this city before I finally found something promising."

"Meliodas and Ban?" I threw out hopefully. Surely King wouldn't have been so ruthless with them. I didn't think my nerves could take anymore.

"Not yet. Had a few more informants here. They pointed me towards a local gang." A small smile played at his lips. "I was exhausted. I just got what I needed to infiltrate the gang when I got it stolen."

"What?" My brows furrowed together in confusion.

"That's when I met Ban. The greedy bastard had seen me with the pin and decided to take it for his own use. Well, his and the boss'." King shook his head as he recalled the memory. "I tried chasing him down but given his physical statue over mine stacked on top of how worn out I was, I didn't stand a chance. He got away."

"But… how did you join them then?"

"Bastard actually came back. I had desperately called out to him and he came back, curious as to why I needed the damn thing so bad."

"What did you say?"

"Told him the truth. That I needed it to help my sister." He shrugged. "No idea what went through his mind, but the idiot decided to help. Brought me back here to meet the boss. Names were exchanged and that was it. The team of two became three."

At my disappointed frown, he laughed.

"Not enough yet?" He tilted his head, an amused smile on his face.

One that was so familiar it almost made me forget about the horrible things he had done in his past. The things he wasn't telling me. Things I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"Well, not much else to tell really." He stood up and started putting the folders back in the desk drawer. "Could tell you how utterly lost Meliodas and Ban were before I came along."

Ban had said as much. Though I felt the need to keep that bit to myself.

"They had no idea what they were doing." King shook his head as he rested his hip against the desk. "It was obvious that neither had any experience with the actual underworld. Just ideas about how they thought it worked."

Why his appearance helped Meliodas and Ban out so much finally made sense. They ran like a gang because of King. They were able to navigate the underworld better because they had a man who had been there. Hell he had been close to running the damn thing even in another part of the world.

"It took awhile to undo the damage they had done," he explained running a hand through his hair, "but eventually they started to get the right reputation."

"And that was?" I cautiously broached.

King stared me straight in the eye, completely serious. "Don't fuck with us, or else."

His mood swings were really starting to get to me.

"They had already done a bang up job of getting people to be scared of them, sure. But fear could easily be quelled if someone was smart enough to do so." He shifted, as if anxious. "Luckily they'd only ran into one bad instance of that before I showed up. It didn't happen again after that."

"Why not?"

He quirked a brow. "If there's one thing you should have gathered from my story, Princess, it's that this isn't my first rodeo."

I bristled.

"There's certain signs you come to recognize. Ticks of people in the trade that help you understand their intentions." He walked back to the table. "Meliodas is fantastic at reading people, don't get me wrong, but this was a different world than what he'd grown used to. He's much better at it now. Doesn't even need me anymore. Hasn't for years."

"But?"

"But." King smiled at me. "That didn't make the beginning any easier. The two of them got pulled around by the nose a lot because of it. Lead down false trails. Fed the wrong information about the wrong people. Lucky for them, the two could also handle themselves extremely well in a fight, or they probably woulda been dead before I met them.

"Between their physical abilities and my knowledge of the street. We were able to find the gang's favorite hangout within a few months. Something they'd been trying to do for half a year. And that's when we ran into Diane."

Hearing him talk about his first meeting with Diane was like listening to an audiobook. Diane had been all harsh words and spiteful looks as she recalled it. Up until the end where I finally realized she recalled the memory fondly. But King? He surprised me again, throwing me for a whirl in how he saw the exchange.

It was romantic the way he told it.

"I saw her the moment she walked in." He smiled fondly, once more shifting to the kind man I had come to know over the past few weeks. "It had been awhile since I-" King paused, an embarrassed flush crossing his cheeks. "Anyway I was trying to work up the courage to approach her. Even though I knew I didn't stand a chance. She was way out of my league. She wasn't even wearing anything that special." He frowned. "Just some denim shorts and a short black shirt and black thigh highs with a damn flannel of all things tied around her waist."

I smiled at him. "That's impressive, you can remember that from what, five years ago?"

"That stupid fucking flannel." He grumbled, mostly to himself. "Boss noticed I was staring right away. Quirked a brow but didn't say much of anything. Ban though." He groaned. "Took that asshole longer but as soon as he did, he started teasing me relentlessly."

"Of course he did." I snorted and rolled my eyes, recalling the look of absolute glee as Ban mentioned the night.

"Thankfully, the boss was able to distract him pretty easily with more booze. So I was free to ignore the two of them and, uh, observe."

I tilted my head with a teasing smile. "You mean watch Diane like a creep?"

"Uh… kind of?" He flushed lightly as he tugged at his collar. "I mean it wasn't like I was staring at her waiting for her to notice me or anything!" He insisted. "I was just curious if she was with someone."

She wasn't. I knew that already from Diane's side of the story.

"It became apparent fairly quickly that she wasn't seeing or meeting anyone. Not with how she stayed at the bar and the way she stared out at the floor."

That reminded me of what Diane had said, about King knowing what she was. "You were able to tell her profession based off that?"

KIng quirked a brow. "Partially. There were a few other things to look for. Things most people wouldn't notice. And Diane was very good at making sure people didn't notice."

"Except you?"

He shrugged, moving on before I could ask anything else. "She approached us and Meliodas and Ban immediately recognized her as the girl I'd been, uh, staring at. They did their stupid telepathic talking shit and basically shoved me in her arms."

A giggle slipped past my lips at the statement. The idea of Ban and Meliodas having a 'telepathic link' wasn't so far fetched. The funny thing was how much it seemed to annoy King. Especially considering how much I had thought the same thing about him and Meliodas during all of our morning meetings.

"I tried to respectfully turn her down. I knew she wasn't at the table for me." He reached for nonchalance but fell just a bit short. "But Diane was stubborn. Pretty sure she looked at my refusal as a challenge."

He wasn't wrong.

"She drug me out to the dancefloor and things got a little, um... h-heated." He stared at the corner of the room. "Enough that Diane felt the need to bring me to a nearby motel. I knew what she wanted from me so… I stopped her before we could get too far. She told me her story and I insisted she come back to the bar with me."

"How'd she take that?" I couldn't help but jab, knowing Diane had not been impressed with him.

King leveled me with a flat stare. "Not great. She was pissed at me but… she stayed. And the information she had was extremely valuable. The gang she was looking into? It was the same one that had my sister."

"You're kidding." I said even though I damn well knew he wouldn't joke about this. What were the chances of that? That the four of them were all looking to infiltrate the same gang.

"Nope. Thanks to Diane we were able to get some locations and some investors to check out."

"Investors?"

The ginger hummed. "Remember the fundraiser?"

I nod.

"Well, I'm sure you figured out that wasn't the first one Diane and I had been to. We used to do them rather frequently, in fact. That's how we met Arthur. Some acquaintances thought that since we were near the same age, we should meet. Not to mention the capital Arthur's company had."

"But how did you manage to convince Arthur to work with you?"

"Chance, really." He drummed his fingers against the table. "It's not important today. But long story short we saved his life and he's been very grateful."

"Fine." I almost pouted. "Then, what happened? You found Elaine?"

King nodded. "It took entirely too long, but after a few failed busts. We finally found them."

"Them?" My brows knit together, confused at his word choice.

Panic seemed to hit him momentarily before he recovered a split second later. "My sister wasn't the only one. We ended up helping a lot of people out while looking for her."

There was something more to his words. I could feel it.

"That's enough out of me." King pushed away from the table, pushed away from the conversation, like he could leave the heavy thing behind on the desk. "How about we go get some lunch?" He tilted his head towards the door.

I stared him down for a few more moments. He wasn't looking at me unkindly, but the shield he wore was back up around him. My information window had closed, it seemed.

King walked past me. Perhaps giving me time to process everything he had told me. It was, admittedly, a lot compared to the other Sins.

He paused at the door, seemingly contemplating something. "The past… can be a dangerous thing, Princess."

My expression knitted together, unsure of where he's going with this.

"For anyone really, but..." he tilted his head back and he stared up at the ceiling. "Especially for people like us. If you focus too long on the bad, on the things you can no longer change, it can suck you in. And never let go. A never ending spiral of regret and self doubt.

"That's why a lot of us are here, you know? I… I would have run myself into the ground until I found Elaine. After that? Well I'm not sure that I ever would have forgiven myself if I didn't have the others. I know I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't said yes to the boss that day."

He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, back still to me.

"I guess I'm just trying to say that the Sins give us a purpose. Without it, I think we'd all be lost. I have three regrets in this world." He finally turned around to meet my eye. His amber eyes turned in pain. "Helbram's death, Elaine's kidnapping and… taking so long to tell Diane how I feel." A smile tugged at his lips.

I found myself mimicking the expression at the mention of Diane.

"Probably says a lot about me that those are the only things I regret in the life I've led, but…" He shifted anxiously, choosing his words carefully. "Everything I did was because I thought it was right. Things I thought I had to do to get what I needed from a world that didn't give a damn about me or my sister. Looking back, I see now that I could have tried a different path. The only reason I'd take it was for Helbram and Elaine's sake. But I'm also not naive enough to believe that if anything changed, that I still would have ended up here.

"The other point I guess is that the Sins are my life now. They give me hope."

"Hope?"

His smile shifted to something sad. "Hope that a man like me can still do good, despite all the bad." King pulled the door open a quiet, "see ya upstairs, Princess," and he left.

Leaving me alone in contemplative silence.

King had… surprised me. Diane hadn't been lying when she said he had the dirtiest hands. She had actually meant it. The ginger very nearly became a kingpin. That alone spoke of the lengths he most likely had to go through. Especially given his age. That had to have been almost… nine years ago when Gloxinia had first offered him the position?

Sixteen. He had been sixteen.

All I was worried about at sixteen was whether or not I was going to get the pig I wanted for my birthday. All the Sins had been through so much.

I could only imagine what Merlin's story would hold.

Dom: Fuuuuuuuck…. Uuuuggghhhh alright Funny, work with me here!

Luv: Here Funny *makes come hither noises* Where did you go,Funny?

Dom: It's just never around when I need it, Luv.

Luv: I'm pretty sure that Funny doesn't mean to ignore you. *starts peeking under the coffee table* It's just, uh, funny like that *snorts at her own joke*

Dom: *Checks the cabinets* Yeah, well it definitely FEELS like it does! *Digs through the fridge* Funny?! Get your silly ass back here!

Luv: Uh... *pokes head in the kitchen* I don't think you'll find Funny in the fridge, Dom…

Dom: *Climbs out of the freezer* I thought it might be like one of those times I accidentally put the remote in with the hot pockets. *Climbs up a ladder to check the vents*

Luv: … Can we agree right now to never try putting Funny on ice? I don't think it would enjoy that...

Dom: Hold on… I'm trying to think up an ice pun… but my thought process is frozen…heh *Climbs out of the dryer somehow* Damnit… I just can't figure out where it went.

Luv: *watches Dom showing up in random places* I'm sure if we wait long enough, Funny will show up. It always does. In the meantime… here's the preview! Next time on Don't Trust Me: Only one more story to go, and it will bring everything full circle. It will become clear how 7 people on different paths wound up forming a gang of their own.

Dom: *hangs upside-down from the living room fan* Found it! Wait… never mind. False alarm. That's not Funny. That's just our biggest fan…. Heh… *Accidentally pulls the chain and starts spinning*

Luv: *grabs a drink and cracks it open* I'm not sure why funny is avoiding you… this is great *sits down in a chair and watches Dom spin.* Uh… do you need help?

Dom: *Nods vigorously, afraid to speak in fear of throwing up*

Luv: Okay, just give me a— *sets drink down, trying to get up when a cat jumps up into her lap* Funny! Look, Dom, it's Funny! *starts petting the cat and gushing praise* oh yes, who's such a good kitty!?

Dom: HeeeLLLeeeeLLLLPPpppp! *Something dislodges and Dom comes crashing to the floor in front of Luv and Funny the Cat. She glares up at the cat as best as one can when her world is spinning* It's your fault I'm a catastrophe. Hope you're feline happy.

Luv: … that's a lot of cat puns, Dom. *tsks her tongue disapprovingly* You know how Funny feels about those.

Dom: Funny will get over it. My puns are great.

Luv: Yeah… they're… pawtastic! *Funny jumps off her lap and starts walking away* Ah, no! Don't leave again Funny! We just got you back! *scrambles to go after the cat and trips over Dom* Oh shit! *faceplants onto the floor*

Dom: *sighs* alright… I think that's enough funny business for one day. Peace out readers! See you next time!

Luv: *reaches a hand towards the direction Funny disappeared in* Funnnnyyyyy!