AYYY AN UPDATE IN 8 DAYS? LIVING MY BEST LIFE! Also decided that writing long ass chapters take too long so this one isn't especially long and was supposed to be part of last chapter but oh well!

Anyways, please let me know if anyone is still reading lol it doesn't have to be a long review by any means I just like knowing people still read this story! Review shout outs for canifindtheone, Doctor Kay Strange, mnbvcxz-xx, Lizcran, Nameless, Epiccupcake28, Virtue01 and RunawayGirl8125. I know there's some characters I haven't spent a lot of time writing and I promise I have stuff for most of them written down in my plot list but yall I'm juggling a lot of plot lines right now aaaaaand still considering adding some Selected POV's so let me know if that's something anyone would be interested in reading and which girls!

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Wesley was only slightly late to meet Eleanor for their date. Only slightly. Okay, like fifteen minutes. And as it turned out, the date wouldn't be all that private, as the two Shreave pups, Finn and Jack were bounding behind him.

"Sorry!" he gasped as he came to a stop in front of her. She was sitting on the floor, her back against the glass doors. "I ran all the way here."

Eleanor smiled. "I can tell," she said, her eyes skimming over his, bent double as he leaned against the wall, breathing like he had just run a mile, which is what it felt like. The dogs panted happily as they greeted her.

"I need a smaller house, man."

After talking to earlier, he had to go meet with the palace doctor, which had been a waste of time. He lied about everything, and by lied, he had basically told them it was no big deal because it wasn't. Thankfully, his mother wasn't there so he convinced the doctor he didn't need a therapist over some nightmares and insomnia because Selections were hella stressful. She gave him a prescription for sleeping pills, but Wesley hadn't decided if he would her up on those. She had been very nice though.

After that, he had finally got a nap but accidentally missed dinner and had snuck into the kitchen to make some pizza rolls to eat during another Council meeting. After hours meetings usually didn't require formal attire which was great because he was still in his nap pjs and hoodie pockets were the perfect hiding place for snacks. It probably wasn't princely at all to hide the pizza rolls in a plastic bag there to covertly eat them, but it was the best idea he had in a long time. The meeting had run late, so he had to run around the palace like a crazy person to get supplies for his date and find a second in the mayhem to put real pants on. And now he was here.

"You ready?" he asked, finally getting his breath back.

"What in the bag?" Eleanor asked, taking his offered hand to pull herself up. She had changed into casual clothes too, like he had texted her, and was wearing leggings, an olive-green shirt, and ankle boots.

"You'll see." He opened up both of the doors with a dramatic flourish. "Dogs are coming too!"

Jack and Finn raced out in front of the couple and Wesley ran after them. The gardens were all lit up from the lights in the plants and everything around was bathed in a warm golden light. For a second, he wasn't here in the glowing gardens with Eleanor. In his head, he was out above it all on one of the balconies looming behind them. With another girl from Tammins. There had been more lights then, the gardens festooned for a reception. I wish this didn't have to end. That's what she had told him. And he told her the same thing he had said to her that stormy night in the observatory just a few weeks ago. I'm never going to love anyone the way I love you.

He turned to look at Eleanor as she caught up with him, grabbing his arm with both hands. Her hair smelled like lavender and in the lights of the gardens her dark eyes were sparkling. He saw Lissa's necklace around her neck, though she had it tucked under her shirt, he would recognize the chain anywhere.

Enough, Wesley, he told himself.

"So where are we going?" she asked, her tone teasing. "If you won't tell me what's in the bag could you at least tell me what we're doing?"

He knew it in his very bones. He knew he would never love anyone the way he had loved Lissa Dove.

But maybe he could love someone else in another way. He just didn't know who that someone was going to be. Had to start somewhere, though.

He grabbed Eleanor's hand and swung their hands between them. "Well, I figured you weren't a beer girl, so I brought wine. And snacks."

"Sounds amazing," she squeezed his hand and smiled.

As they trooped across the lawn, the servants made themselves scarce. Wesley led Eleanor to where he had everything set up. He had built a build a fire (and by that, he really had used his position as a prince to have the servants build it.) There were also two lawn chairs and a little string of fairy lights over them, as well as a small folding table.

"Wow," Eleanor breathed. Wesley watched as the light from the fire was flickering across her face.

"I know you said that you've been really stressed, so this was the most normal and least Selection-y date thing I could think of," he slipped the bag off his shoulders and unzipped it. "Plus, I always look for excuses to make s' mores."

Eleanor laughed as he dumped out the s'mores making ingredients on the table and pulled out the bottle of red wine.

"It looks awesome. You're definitely forgiven," she said, sitting down in one of the chairs.

"Shit I forgot cups." Wesley managed to get the cork out of the bottle with the bottle opening thing.

"It's fine, we can share." Eleanor took the bottle from him and took a sip out. She handed it to him. "I love campfires."

"Dude, me too. My mom hates them though, so don't tell her about this one." He ripped open the bag of marshmallows, sending several spilling out on the ground as he practically tore the bag in half. They hunted around for sticks which was harder than he realized out in the perfectly landscaped grounds, but before long they were roasting the marshmallows.

"My brothers and Michelle and I used to have bonfires out here when my parents were away on official trips and stuff," Wesley told Eleanor. "We never did it when they were here. Andrew got totally wasted when he was like sixteen once, it was the greatest thing I've ever seen. I still have a video of it somewhere on my computer I think."

"What did he do?" Eleanor asked.

"I dared him to go skinny dipping in that big fountain by the rose garden, and he was like dancing under the water jet things like a maniac in his underwear because Michelle was there. Ethan tried to get him to stop and Andrew tackled him. I was like 10 and I tried to take one drink of Andrew's beer and he thought the best way to punish me was to throw me in the fountain and Ethan had to come rescue me because I thought I was going to drown even though the water was like two feet deep."

"Oh, wow now I can never get the image of the king dancing in his underwear in that fountain out of my head, thanks for that." Eleanor giggled.

"He's not just the king, you have to remember that. He's also my dumb older brother who was the craziest teenager ever. Sometimes I forget he's even the king."

"You're hilarious," Eleanor yanked her stick out of the fire to blow on her flaming marshmallow.

"Girl, no you gotta lightly brown it, not light it on fire!" Wesley motioned to his s'mores making technique.

"This is how I make them!" She said, shoving his arm playfully. "I like them burnt."

"Oooookkkkaaaayyy Miss Burnt Marshmallows that's the strangest thing I've ever heard."

"Oh, shut up Wesley." She tried to fight the smile spreading across her face by ducking her head and her hair fell over her face. "You and your siblings used to have rebel royal kid bonfires? Well, I used to go camping with my dad, and this is how we made s' mores."

"Aw, lucky! My dad never believed in that father-son bonding camping trip. Probably because he was the king."

Eleanor looked away quickly as Wesley realized what he had said. He got real quiet and cleared his throat. Way to bring up his dead father like that and make things awkward. "Ready for chocolate and graham crackers?" he asked, his voice stupid loud. "I love me a good s'mores."

They quietly added their marshmallows and made them. Wesley shoved like half of his into his mouth so he wouldn't have to say anything. He should have brought more wine.

"My dad died too," Eleanor said quietly, pushing her uneaten s' mores around on the paper plate.

"Sorry," he said around the mouthful of stickiness. Now would really really really not be a good time to have a panic attack again. Wesley focused every ounce of his attention on his s'more.

"You don't have to get weird about it. I shouldn't have either," Eleanor said.

"I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, I think it's good to talk about stuff like that. I don't know if I'd rather be like you and not have those memories or if it hurts more to actually have them."

Wesley nodded, but everything had shifted so suddenly he didn't know what to say. Eleanor didn't say anything either.

It was getting a little breezy and Eleanor shivered and rubbed her arms.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"A little, but I'm fine. It's just a bit windy."

"No, no, here-" he stuffed the rest of the s'mores in his mouth and put down his plate so he could pull his hoodie off. He handed it to her. Girls loved that kind of thing. "I'm way to close to the fire."

"Thanks." Eleanor pulled it over her head. "Why does it smell like…pizza rolls?"

"Uhhh, because pizza rolls are delicious and smell amazing?"

"That is true," Eleanor bit her lip, trying and failing to suppress a smile.

"Definitely not because I smuggled them into a meeting for snacks earlier."

Eleanor bumped her shoulder into his. "You are so goofy."

Wesley could have let the topic drop. He maybe should have. But nah. He took another drink out of the bottle of wine and handed it over to her.

"So, you and your dad. You guys were close?"

"Yeah. I'm an only child and my mom…well she's kind of crazy sometimes."

"Yeah, mine too." Wesley joked, and Eleanor laughed a little. Then she got sad, her voice wavering as she stared at the fire.

"He joined the army after the north seceded. He said that the most important thing was that this country stayed together, or it was just going to go back to falling apart. He was on the front on the Ottaro border for about a year before the Slaughter of St. George. He died defending those innocent civilians."

Wesley reached for her hand and squeezed it. It was the only thing he knew to do. The Slaughter of St. George had been one of the most awful parts of the war when the rebels had attacked their own neighbors and countrymen in the capital city where hundreds of civilians had been killed on purpose and the city destroyed. He had never talked to her about it, but it was highly likely that Vera had been caught up in it too, along with Eleanor's father.

"I'm so sorry, Eleanor."

"Thank you," she said. She didn't let go of Wesley's hand. "I miss him every day. My mom has always been really controlling, but it got worse after my dad didn't come home. She just wants what's best for me, but she doesn't care what I think, you know?"

"Yeah," he thought of how desperate his own mother had been to fix him up like nothing had ever happened, like talking to a doctor and getting some sleeping pills would automatically make him good as new.

"She was so excited when the Selection was announced because that's like her ultimate life goal for me," Eleanor continued. "She calls me like every day. She was in your dad's Selection; did you know that?"

"What, seriously?" Wesley exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Eleanor nodded enthusiastically. "She made it to the Elite, but she was the sixth to go home. She even came to your parent's wedding."

"That's insane! I only ever hear about my parent's falling in love, and like two other women my mom was really close to. Damn, we could have been siblings."

"Ew, don't say that when we're on a date!" Eleanor squealed, snatching the wine bottle from him. "Did either of them ever talk about Lady Adelaide?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Probably not, she was never really popular with the people or your dad. She told me that she wasn't in love with him, but she still wanted to be a princess. She talks all the time about the palace and everything."

They both made more s'mores and drank some more wine and Eleanor told him all the details she knew about her mom and his dad's time in the Selection. It was pretty crazy getting a whole new perspective on both of his parents. He tried her blackened s'mores and made her a perfectly toasted one, and they drank all the wine. He didn't know how long they were out there, but he found that he really liked spending time with Eleanor. She wasn't acting clingy or annoying at all, she was real out here with him. She was actually adorable. She had a dimple on her left cheek only that only came out when she smiled really big, which also meant that her right eyebrow rose slightly higher than her left which was even more adorable. Everything she did was graceful and elegant, even the drunken ballet moves she showed him when he whipped out the sparklers he had brought. She tried to get him to do some sort of ballet lift thing she called a fish dive, but they were both so tipsy he dropped her into the grass and then tripped and fell too.

They sat around the fire for a little longer, watching the flames die after they had exhausted the sparklers. She had pulled her chair over right next to his and had her legs stretched across his lap. He liked it.

"So, your turn Wesley. Were you and your dad close?"

It caught him a little off guard. But she had shared her stuff, so he better share his.

"I guess. Probably not like you and your dad. I have no clue what a normal family is supposed to be like, as you've probably guessed."

"Yeah, I realized that when you said you needed a smaller house earlier. You live in a palace."

"Oh, shut up," he teased. "I happen to suffer from being spoiled as a kid, okay?"

Eleanor just laughed at him.

"I don't know, I'm seven years younger than Andrew so by the time I came along I guess my dad was done with babies. Even Ethan is four years older than me. My dad wasn't supposed to be the heir but his older brother died before his Selection, so my dad was always obsessed with the idea that Ethan needed to be ready to be king too." Wesley leaned back in his chair, resting his arms over Eleanor's knees. "He kind of ignored me," he admitted. "Even when I was older, he always treated me like I was younger than I was. Honestly, I don't think he knew anything about me. About any of us, actually. He was always a king before he was a father. But still, I miss him. I miss him a lot."

"I can't imagine what that was like," Eleanor said quietly. "To see him killed in front of you."

Wesley shook his head. "No. You really can't."

Then she did the simplest thing in the world. She sat up in her chair and leaned forward so she could wrap her arms around him and hug him from the side.

And it was really, really nice.