Yo thought I was done with bitching about the syoc selection fandom in my st days in all my deleted authors notes? nope there's a new story in the archive about a girl named Lissa Dove which sounds really hecking familiar so yall im RAGING.

But I'm over that.

Okay so I had the next like two chapters that need editing but then I realized that I need to write this chapter first because it picks up where the last chapter left off so that's why it took me even longer than usual! Review shout outs to delovlies, lizcran, RunawayGirl8125 (this is not the chapter I pmed you about!), Nameless and mnbvcxz-xx!

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Crap.

Okay, this was not good. This was not good at all.

Wesley found himself out on the terrace, the doors of the formal drawing room opened up to make atmosphere, he guessed. He had walked straight in and straight out, stopping only for a flute of champagne and a snack at the appetizers table. He already had polished off whatever little bacon wrapped thing he had picked up and the champagne was mostly gone. Alyex had tried to say something to him just now, hadn't she? He hadn't even realized.

This was a disaster.

He had kissed another girl. During his Selection.

He had kissed Lissa Dove.

It had only been for like a tenth of a second and he might think it had never happened. Except he could still feel it. The kiss was in his heart, still going crazy five minutes later. It was in his throat, a lump that even the champagne hadn't washed away yet. His lungs felt tight and his hands were sweaty, and he was sure he was going to leave actual sweat stains on his pants because he kept wiping his nasty clammy hands on his legs.

But it wasn't the bad kind of feeling. His heart wasn't pounding because he was terrified. He couldn't breathe because he was having a panic attack. No, it was different.

It was—

He didn't know what it was. But it felt amazing.

Crap.

Wesley's first instinct was to smoke, but then he remembered that he and Lissa had dropped them all to try to get someone's attention. A riffle through his pockets only revealed a questionable mint and his still-dead phone. He really had to start remembering to charge that thing.

He drained the rest of his champagne and decided he really should be getting inside and stop being rude. He was supposed to announce the Elite tonight, wasn't he? Honestly, Wesley had no clue. The only thing he knew was that he had just kissed Lissa. Literally.

He might have spent the whole night standing on the terrace trying to process what the heck had just happened if Ethan hadn't joined him.

"Hey," his older brother greeted him, armed with two flutes of champagne. He handed Wesley one. "I figured you could use this. Announcing the Elite tonight, huh?"

"Huh?" Wesley took the glass. "Oh. Yeah, I guess." He gulped half of it down. "I take it you're not chairman of the Don't Let Wesley Drink Board anymore?"

Ethan shrugged. "Mom didn't exactly forbid it for tonight," he said, smiling. "Just don't drink too much, this is important."

"Yeah," Wesley mumbled, watching the bubbles in his glass.

It didn't feel important.

"God, I was so scared for mine," Ethan continued. Wesley guessed that he had already partaken of the drink offerings because his brother usually didn't talk this much. "Dad had this whole list of who I should pick, and halfway through I just quit and just started picking random girls I wanted. I didn't even know how many names I said." Lissa had been one of his dad's picks, not Ethan, Wesley remembered. "I totally thought some of the girls were going to kill me before they left."

"So, did you already know it was going to be Nicole then?" Wesley asked.

Ethan shook his head, leaning against the terrace railing. "Nah, I didn't know for a long time. But that's mostly because I'm an idiot."

Wesley clumped Ethan on the back of the head. "Yeah, you are," he grinned.

For Wesley, picking the Elite had been pretty easy. It wasn't a matter of who should stay, but more of who should leave. He tried to think of the ten girls that would stay after tonight, but honestly, he only managed to come up with like half.

This was not good.

"Are you just going to hide out here all night or are you going in there before Mom throws a fit?" Ethan asked after a minute, standing upright.

Wesley turned to him. "Dude, you're married, and you have a kid and another on the way and you're still scared of Mom?"

"I'm scared for you, Wes." Ethan rolled his eyes and chuckled. "You dumbass."

Yes. Yes, he was a dumbass. Even though most of his family and close friends called him Wes all the time to be quick about it, his stupid little brain screamed at the top of his lungs that Lissa called him Wes too.

"Shit," Wesley scuffed his shoe along the pavers of the terrace.

"It's not that bad," Ethan was still thinking about the Elite. "Although I pity the poor girl who ends up with you."

"Shut up," Wesley joked.

Ethan draped his arm over Wesley's shoulders. "Come on," he said, leading him back inside. "You'll be fine."

"Hey, Ethan, wait. Do you think Dad would approve? Of the girls who are staying?"

Ethan stopped, and his smile quickly faded. Wesley regretted asking at all. If his relationship with his father had been pretty much nonexistent, at least it was better than Ethan's.

"I don't know," Ethan said, avoiding eye contact. "He was pretty mad at me for going against him. But I think it all worked out in the end." Wesley nodded, and Ethan pushed him forward. "Let's go."

Wesley had major flashbacks to what he remembered of the opening reception as he looked around, except there were only thirteen girls instead of thirty-five and he wasn't meeting them all for the first time. They didn't know he was announcing the Elite tonight either. There hadn't been any cameras then but there certainly were now. Hopefully this was a kind of Good-Press-Vibes kind of night.

Oh no oh no oh no there was Lissa. And she looked…kind of adorable with her hair an absolute mess from being out in the rain earlier. He didn't want to know what his looked like. She was back in governess mode with Evie and Sophie. They both caught each other looking at the other and simultaneously looked away.

"Hey, do you happen to know what the schedule is for tonight?" Wesley nudged Ethan to get his attention. Yeah, that had left his brain too along with everything else.

"I have no clue, that's your business with Mom and the Selection coordinators," Ethan nodded to the gang of women left over from his own Selection in a little huddle of wine glasses. "I'm just here because I'm important." He gave Wesley a thumbs up. "Well good luck. Me and Andrew and Ben and Colin are going to get plastered."

"Bitch," Wesley called after him. He decided to forgo asking any of his coordinators, or worse his mom what he was supposed to do and just get it over with. Also, to actually read the emails about this sort of thing. Maybe he wouldn't forget it so easily if he stopped relying on one of the coordinators to explain in ten times to him.

He bounded over to the middle of the drawing room and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Hey, if I could get everyone's attention!"

The conversation slowly came to a halt and Wesley ignored his mother glaring at him, who was still very much the dowager queen, he reminded himself. This probably was not how he was supposed to do it but screw it.

He watched Lissa with his nieces as she got them to quiet down and focus on him. She looked up and Wesley quickly looked away. He was still so stuck on the kiss that it took him a second to remember what he was doing.

"Alright, so," he said when the room was quiet, rubbing his hands together. "I have an announcement to make." Lucky for him he did at least have the list of the girls he had left for the Elite written on his hand and the rain had only smudged it a little. He rolled his sleeve up a little so he could see it. He was pretty sure he had a speech someone had written for him for this moment, but he was also pretty sure it was still on his desk in his room. Again, and he could not stress this enough, screw it.

"I have enjoyed getting to know all of you over this last month and a half," he said. "But I think we all know it's time to get to the Elite."

He watched the ladies all exchange looks and some of them wore expressions of surprise.

"With the…uh, voluntary departure of Lady Callista and Lady Valette, we're down to thirteen of you," he threw a little drama into his impromptu speech. Man, he was getting really good at this being charming thing. The cameras were going to love this. "So yeah, there can only be ten Elite."

He saw Nicole and Christine exchange a Look and Nat rubbed her hand over her face, but Wesley forged ahead. He glanced down at the writing on his hand.

"Lady Fallon, Lady Veyra, Lady Eleanor," he read. He heard a gasp noise and looked up to see Eleanor, her face blanched pale and her hands covering her mouth.

"Oh, these are the Elite. The ones that are staying," he explained. He saw Fallon roll her eyes but at least Veyra looked relieved. He had that going for him. "Okay so those three, and Lady Georgia, Lady Alyex, and Lady Vera," he continued, looking up to find them in the group as he announced them. Georgia's lips moved and it might have been a smile, but he wasn't sure. Alyex beamed and her nose wrinkled in that cute way it always did. Vera was kind of hard to find since she was standing in the back. As usual, she didn't look anywhere near as put together as the other girls, but she still looked pretty. Just in a messy way. It was cute too. Why were all these girls so cute? Why was Lissa so cute too over there with Evie and Sophie?

Wesley cleared his throat. "And also, Lady Ophelia and Lady Iris," he read. Ophelia tried to hide her smile by ducking her head, but it didn't really work. Iris's cheeks turned pink and she nervously ticked her hair behind her ears.

The last two names were kind of smudged, so he had to look around the room to make sure he knew the last two.

"Oh and Lady Lillian and Lady Dresden." He didn't really know either of them aside from the small talk he had made on a few dates, but they were both from the northern provinces of Ottaro and Columbia, on the border of the formerly seceded provinces, so he figured it was a good idea to keep them around.

When he finished, everyone kind of obligatorily looked at the only three names he didn't call. Piper was easy, because she already knew, and she was happy about it. Nikoli didn't look too upset either, she just shrugged and said something to Piper. Darcy, on the other hand, didn't take it too well. It took her a moment to count up the other girls before she realized she had been left out.

That thing Ethan said about thinking the girls wanted to kill him came back to Wesley then. Oh hell no. He already knew Darcy was terrifying despite her tiny size, but she looked like demon right then even with the bow in her blonde curls. She didn't shoot him in the head or bodily maul him though, she just let out a shriek of frustration and called him some very bad words at the top of her lungs and stormed to the doors, pushing over the punch table on her way out.

The powers that be (at least over his Selection) chose that very opportune time to transition to dinner then.

"You were supposed to announce it after dinner so it wouldn't be awkward," Nicole reminded him as the ladies moved toward the adjoining dining room. Wesley mentally congratulated himself on not eliminating Darcy by herself or else he probably really would be dead by now.

"Yeah, well," he shrugged. "I forgot. And besides, we got all that awkward out of the way!"

Nicole looked at him funny. "Well it's your Selection, I guess."

"Hey, remember when Ethan announced his? That was awkward."

Nicole smiled, and he noticed she was extra glow-y tonight. "It was," she agreed.

"Shall we?" he asked his sister-in-law, offering her his arm in the most extra way possible. Nicole rolled her eyes at him

"You goof," she said, taking his arm. "Why not? Hey, congrats by the way. You've officially made it to the Elite."

Once they started eating dinner, it started to feel normal. Normal as in if Wesley decided to ignore the fact that he had eliminated way more than half of the girls and it felt like this had all started a week ago. And, you know, he also had just kissed Lissa. Usually dinner was the one meal that everyone made a fuss over, once he had gotten the announcement out of the way it was just a regular night, with the whole royal household present. But apparently, this was a reception and not a regular night (he should really start reading the memos the coordinators sent him), everyone had to go back into the drawing room for cocktails and luckily, more desserts. Piper and Nikoli tactfully left after eating though.

Wesley was avoiding everyone at one of the seating areas and going ham on chocolate mousse in a little wineglass thing when Veyra waltzed over with a martini and a black velvet dress on.

"Hey, Shreave," she said, smiling her foxy grin. "So, this is exciting.'

Wesley choked a little on his chocolate mousse, something he tended to do a lot when Veyra snuck up on him-which she always did. "What's exciting?" he said, attempting to regain composure.

Veyra rolled her eyes, something that she tended to a lot no matter who was around. "The Elite?"

"Oh. Yeah. For sure," Wesley nodded enthusiastically. If he had a crush on any of the Selected, it was still Veyra, the only girl he had kissed (okay, she kissed him but minor detail).

Veyra raised her eyebrows over the rim of her glass. "Convincing." She sat down on the leather couch next to him, crossing her legs.

"Wait, are you seriously drinking a martini?"

She lowered her glass and ran her finger around the rim of her glass. Her dark eyes were glowing with the golden light of the room. "What? I like martinis okay?" she sounded defensive.

"You don't just drink them because you're a secret agent? Like James Bond?" Wesley scooched closer to her, deciding that she was really adorable.

She sheepishly ducked her head just enough, so her hair fell in her face, biting back a smile. "Noooo," she admitted.

"Uh huh. Convincing."

Veyra's eyes widened as he copied her. Her eyes sparkling mischievously, and she snatched his abandoned spoon and helped herself to a bite of his chocolate mousse.

"Hey! My mousse!"

"Well, anyway, I'm totally honored to stick around. We should totally go ice skating again."

"Are you asking me out?"

"Is that a crime?" Veyra looked up at him and Wesley's brain almost stopped short-circuiting about what happened with Lissa and started short-circuiting about Veyra.

It might have, except Ophelia joined them on the couch next to Veyra.

"Hey, Vey," she said, greeting them with a soft smile with red lipstick matching the delicate roses embroidered on the sheer overskirt of her dress. "Hey, Wesley."

"Ahhh, my party girls," Wesley said, and Ophelia's smile stretched across her face. "You're not drinking?"

"Yeah, come on!" Veyra said. "We're in the Elite now!"

Ophelia shrugged, and her smile seemed tight across her face. "Maybe later? I'm still kind of terrified of your mom."

"Oh, that's okay." Wesley said, sensing that Ophelia didn't really like being called his party girl. "Try the chocolate mousse."

"It's really good," Veyra piped up, and Wesley narrowed his eyes at her.

"Only because you ate all mine."

"I had one bite!" Veyra playfully pushed on Wesley's shoulder.

He might have stayed and argued with Veyra and tried in vain to flirt with Ophelia but the second he saw Lissa stand up with his nieces in tow, he couldn't think of anything else.

"Hey, well I've got to run," Wesley said, wiping his hands on his knees. He deposited the chocolate mousse in Veyra's hand. "Here, finish this for me."

He ignored their questions, watching as Evie and Sophie said good night to the gathered group and Lissa and Christine took them out of the drawing room. He might have made it in time.

"Hi Wesley!" Eleanor practically materialized out of thin air in front of him. "Where have you been all night, I haven't seen you at all!"

Wesley only jumped a tiny bit. "Oh sheesh, Eleanor, don't do that!" he snapped. One of these days he was just going to have a heart attack if shit like this kept happening.

Eleanor's face fell. "Sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, since you were late and all."

"Look, I really have to go, so I'll see you around, okay? Everything's coolio, thanks for asking."

"But I haven't talked to you at all lately!" She crossed her arms, drawing Wesley's attention to the necklace she wore—Lissa's necklace.

And he was almost tempted to ask for it back.

"Sorry Eleanor," he said, stepping around her.

"Wesley!" she called after him. Wesley ignored the whine in her tone, and speed walked to the door. This was probably not in the schedule either, but he didn't read the memo.

He knew that Lissa didn't do bedtime with Evie and Sophie and she was only working so late because of the reception, and he caught up with her on the fourth floor. He saw her when he got to the top of the stairs. She was walking down the hall, taking pins out of the little braid wrapped around her head and combing her fingers through her hair. She turned around when he came to a clattering stop at the top of the stairs, probably hearing his absolute gasping for air. They really needed an elevator in this place.

She smiled when he started walking towards her, a bashful little smile. "Hey," she said.

"Hi," Wesley said, coming to stop a few feet away from her. He suddenly realized he had no idea what he was doing here.

Lissa swayed a little, one hand on her doorknob, leaning her head to the side. "Aren't you supposed to be downstairs?"

Wesley shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Probably."

"But you're up here."

Wesley nodded.

A door down the hall opened up and Wesley was almost as surprised to see Joseph as he was. They both looked straight to Lissa.

If he wasn't right next to her, Wesley might not have heard her curse under her breath.

Joseph was in street clothes and even from several doors down, Wesley could smell the all too familiar smell of liquor radiating off of him.

"You move quick," he said to Lissa, a cruel smirk on his face. He looked at Wesley. "You know, she's been in love with you for a long time."

"Please, stop talking." Lissa said to Joseph. She pushed her hair out of her face and Wesley could tell she was irritated.

"Hey, Joseph. I know what you were going to do," Wesley spoke up, stepping in front of Lissa. "Which was totally going against your employment contract. And by the way, you're fired."

Joseph scoffed. "You really need to get over yourself. Your Highness," he added, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "And you can't fire me if I already quit. I didn't want to work for you anymore anyway."

"Oh, good so it works out for the both of us," Wesley said.

"Yeah, perfectly." Joseph glared at him. "Everyone thinks you're so perfect but they're going to find out the truth."

"And what's that truth, Joseph? That you hate your job, so you take it all out on me?"

"You're cheating on your Selection, for one," Joseph's eyes slid over to Lissa. "You smoke, you drink all night-"

"Okay, that's enough," Lissa interrupted him, and Joseph actually listened to her. He looked chagrined, crossing his arms and looking at the floor.

"Can we talk?" he asked her softly after a moment.

Lissa shook her head. "I don't have anything to say to you."

Joseph nodded solemnly. He looked at each of them in turn like he might say something else, but he ended up just rolling his eyes and stalking off down the hall.

Lissa sighed and leaned her head against the wall when he was gone. "I handled that badly."

"I'm just glad he's gone," Wesley admitted. "Hopefully he really actually quit. I hate that guy."

"He hates you," Lissa said. "But you didn't have to step in for me like that. I had it handled."

"I had a fight to pick with him too."

Lissa smiled half-heartedly. "So, what did you come all the way up here for?"

Wesley shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just wanted to talk to you about…stuff."

He didn't know why the words stuck in his throat. He didn't know why it was so hard to bring up the kiss. If he was still sixteen, he probably just would have come up here and kissed her again without saying anything except maybe telling her she was beautiful.

Lissa pressed her lips together. "Wes," she began, and he knew she was going to shut him down.

"I shouldn't have kissed you," Wesley blurted out. "I mean, that was really rude of me, I knew you had just broken up with that bastard and I knew I was about to go announce my Elite. I was just…I don't know, emotional, and you were there and you're so easy to talk to and yeah. I'm sorry."

Lissa must have rubbed her eyes or maybe it was from earlier on the rooftop because her makeup was all smudgy around her eyes and she looked sleepy and kind of adorable. But he thought of Veyra drinking martinis because she was secret agent, and Ophelia and her soft smile and how Vera was never put together enough for the palace and Georgia smoking cigarettes outside with him and Iris and Alyex and all the others.

Lissa started to smile. "Yeah. That makes sense."

I know that five years ago, we had something really special and amazing, there's a part of both of us that wants that again, but I don't think it's here anymore."

"So, we're cool? Friends?" Wesley asked, hesitating.

She tipped her head to one side, her eyes doing most of the asking. "If you only wanted to be friends, why did you kiss me? Why did you come here?"

For a brief moment, he wished that he had never said any of that. He wished that none of this had ever happened and he hadn't agreed to the stupid Selection and he hadn't gone north to fight, and he had never ever said goodbye to her.

But it had.

"I don't know."

Lissa nodded. "Well, you should probably be getting back." She turned towards her door, fumbling with her keys. "If your mom knew you were here with me right now, I would be fired faster than Joseph quit."

"What does it matter? Christine hired you, not my mom."

Lissa opened her door but turned back to him. "Your mom made it clear that I wasn't to talk to you, remember? During the opening reception?"

"I can talk to who ever I want to." Wesley said, embarrassed. "I just want to know if we're okay."

She shrugged and then crossed her arms. "Sure, I guess. I still don't get you, though. You say you just want to be friends and then you kiss me and follow me up here. You don't make sense, Wesley. And honestly? I'm over it."

Wesley sighed. He didn't have a good answer or an explanation. "Lis, you told me two hours ago that we could have made it. And I feel like that changes things."

Lissa started to turn back to her door. "No, I said if things were different, we could have made it. I didn't mean now."

"What, if you weren't dating some douchebag?" he teased her, and Lissa smiled a little.

"And if you weren't having a Selection," she reminded him, her voice a little sad. "And if I'd never been in your brother's."

They were quiet. Things had changed, Wesley realized. Everything had changed.

"I know that five years ago, we had something really special and amazing," Wesley said. "And there's a part of both of us that wants that again, but I don't think it's here anymore."

She looked sharply up at him, her green eyes wide and luminous.

"There's something that will never change between me and you, isn't there?" Wesley continued. "I think we're always going to be like this. At least a little."

"I don't always want to be like this, somewhere in between." Lissa turned back to her door. "I can't let you break my heart again, Wes. I just can't."

"Lissa-" he started as she ducked inside.

She held the door open just a crack. "Please listen to me, Wes. I think you should just focus on your Selection."

"But—"

She smiled up at him, a sad smile that looked like it pained her to do so. "I can't do this. Just…please leave me alone."

There were a million things to say. But Wesley couldn't think of anything.

He nodded. "Okay."

Lissa smiled one more time. "Goodbye."

And she shut the door. And Wesley was alone in the hall.

…

End of chapter author's note that I also never do anymore! I know I haven't focused a ton on the Selected and my original plan was not to but if any of the creators are still reading and want to add things to their character, I would totally love that! Mostly if you could just let me know how they feel about Wesley at this point in the story now that they're Elite and anything else you want to add, or if you don't like how they're portrayed or have any ideas for plot lines, I like to think that this is somewhat of an interactive story but I know everyones busy so if you don't have time, I get it! Let me know which of the Selected you would like to see more of and who your favorites are!

-Shades