Happy Holidays guys I'm eating my words you did not read the next chapters in December but its here now! I don't know what this is, it started out as a regular chapter and turned more into a series of Christmas vignettes/one shots and then back to a chapter so here, enjoy anyway! I meant to write more one shots and holiday chapters, but I didn't have time and now its over and I've been forcing myself to listen to Christmas music again and finished this up. I had a New Years chapter planned but we'll see if I skip or not. Let me know your thoughts and your favorite part!

Shades

…

Wesley wasn't an unusual sight in the kitchens of the palace. He tended to avoid the place before meals and especially during meals during palace events, but sometimes, his sleeping habits didn't line up with the rest of his family. Typically, he would be found in the kitchen far earlier than anyone else to get something to eat (he had a coffee maker in his room). Today, however, he had slept straight through his two breakfast options of eating with the family or eating with the Selected. It was almost noon, but just a regular day so the staff wasn't too bothered by his slightly sheepish request for food and made him a plate and a place to sit away from most of the activity since the dining room was still being cleaned.

He had to admit, he could get used to this. Sleep hadn't been something that he had been on friendly terms for a while now, and he usually relied on lots of caffeine and was getting used to the constant exhaustion. But ever since Vera had made a habit of coming over, sleep was just so much easier. Sure, she usually left really early and she would sometimes wake him up to shove him back on his side of the bed or take her far share of the blankets back, but…he didn't know. It was just better.

That was how Alyex found him, sitting in his pajamas at the break table for the staff, eating scrambled eggs with entirely too much cheese with his hair sticking up in every direction.

"Oh, hey!" he called to her, as she came in, looking around. The tall girl beamed and walked over. "Did you miss breakfast too?" he asked, "They can make you something if you're hungry."

"Nah, I'm fine," she said, sitting down across from him, brushing her light brown hair behind her ears. "I was supposed to meet someone here."

Wesley was only slightly confused by that. "Oh," he mumbled around a mouthful of toast. "Who were you meeting?"

The question was answered with perfect timing as Aidan entered the kitchen with entirely too much energy for 11:52 in the morning and an entirely too loud cry of "Uncle Wesley! I didn't know you were going to be here too?"

"Hi, Prince Aidan!" Alyex stood up and gave Wesley's nephew a comical curtsey that made the four-year-old cackle loudly. "I didn't know he was going to be either, but he's welcome to stay!"

Aidan was all too quickly at Wesley's side, bouncing up and down way too close to Wesley's coffee mug. "Can you help us, please Uncle Wesley? Pleasseeee?" he begged.

Wesley carefully scooted his plate and drinks closer to the middle of the table, farther away from the destructive kid. "Uhhh, what am I staying for?"

Alyex laughed at his bewilderment. "I just invited the kids to bake Christmas cookies today. Queen Christine said it was okay. I think some of the girls might come later too, but almost everyone is still doing those pre-recorded interviews for the Report Christmas special. I did mine this morning."

"It is morning," Wesley pointed out, trying to pry Aidan's hand off his silver wear before the kid put someone's eye out. "But yeah, I hecking love Christmas cookies." He loved his nieces and nephews, he really did, (aside from their ability to yell in his ear all the time), but sometimes they made him way too nervous and realize he was way, way too young to be a dad anytime soon. All jokes on him though, his mom told him he was exactly the same way when he was a kid.

Alyex, however, was amazing with the kids. They absolutely adored her. She quickly got Aidan away from the rest of Wesley's breakfast and thanked his rather hassled looking nanny and gave her the afternoon off. Wesley finished eating while Alyex helped Aidan wash his hands and get everything ready. He ducked out of the kitchen to go back upstairs and brush his teeth and put on some real clothes and smoke a cigarette and when he got back, it was a whole ass party.

Alyex and Aidan had been joined by Eleanor, holding Jamie who was pulling her braided hair despite her best attempt to disentangle his fingers. Ophelia and Iris were there as well, gathering ingredients around the kitchen, and Veyra was sitting on the counter, talking to Alyex.

"Uncle Wesley, you're back!" Aidan screamed as Wesley made his reappearance, dashing over.

"Yeah, had to put on some real clothes, kiddo," he said, ruffling his nephew's hair.

Eleanor reached over and ruffled Wesley's hair in turn. "You forgot about this," she teased, and Wesley winced, unable to imagine the horror on top of his head.

"Oops."

Eleanor tried to fix it for him until Alyex called everyone over. The staff had given them like half of the kitchen and were making them scarce, and in his brief absence the counters had been stocked with supplies and tools and he didn't really know what else, but he did see chocolate chips, so that was a good sign.

They were just getting ready to start when two more giggling and loud little kids joined them. Evie and Sophie ran into the kitchen, which Wesley was pretty sure was not allowed.

"Sorry we're so late," Lissa was hurrying after them, but her voice faltered as she locked eyes with Wesley. "Oh. Hi."

"That's okay," Alyex said, waving them over. "We're glad you could come too, Lissa! Hi girls!" Evie and Sophie ran over to the group of adoring Selected, thankfully distracting them from the awkward.

Lissa's cheeks turned pink as the scarf she had wrapped over her white sweater. "No one told me you were coming," she said, a nervous laugh escaping her.

Wesley shrugged; sure he was blushing too. "It was kind of…impromptu…" he laughed nervously too.

"Alyex invited me to bring the girls," Lissa explained, and he could tell she was trying really hard to be casual. She brushed her hands over her matching pink skirt. "They've been so excited all day."

"I'm glad they could come," Wesley didn't know what else to say. "Alyex is really sweet to set this all up for the kids."

Lissa nodded, her smile wide and stretched over her face. "Well, it looks like they've got it handled, I should go, but if they need me-" she started to leave.

Wesley practically lunged after her. "Wait! Don't go!"

Lissa turned back, looking startled. The rest of the kitchen occupants stopped at Wesley's sudden shouting that was way too loud. Damn, maybe he was a lot like Aidan.

"I just…Alyex invited you too right? You can stay-"

"I don't think-"

"Yeah, Lissa, we would love to have you!" Alyex called, and the other girls offered a chorus of agreement.

"Please, Miss Lissa?" his nieces begged. "You said you were going to stay?"

"I don't mind," Wesley said, quieter, his words hidden behind the rest. Lissa's eyes snapped to his. "I'm sorry, I'm making it awkward," he added, barely a whisper.

She smiled at the rest of the group, rather bashfully. "Well alright," she said.

"The more the merrier!" Wesley yelled. Then he promptly turned around and squeezed into the counter space between Eleanor and Iris. "What we making?"

Eleanor smiled up at him as he attempted to busy himself reading one of the recipes Alyex had written down. "You and she must be really close," she said, nodding to Lissa on the far end of the counter. "Since you knew each other before and now she's back working here."

The recipe might have been a foreign language. He glanced at Eleanor. She was opening a bag of sugar, her smile matching in sweetness. He knew she was jealous. The only time Eleanor was not jealous was when it was just him and her alone and talking about non-Selection things. And even then only just barely.

"Oh, yeah. I knew all of them a little bit, I guess," he muttered, staring at the recipe. "Hey, Iris, wait what does sticks of butter mean?"

Iris shrugged. "I have no clue."

"I already got the butter out! One stick is half a cup!" Alyex shouted from her place.

Eleanor leaned into him, the sleeve of her shirt brushing his. "Lissa's really pretty, isn't she?"

This giant kitchen was too small, Wesley decided. "Uh, yeah, I guess. I'm going to grab the butter."

Lissa was on one end of the counter and Jealous Eleanor was in the middle which left the other end of the counter the only conceivable option for Wesley.

Veyra was there, leaning over a loudly running mixer with a frown while Ophelia was opening all the sprinkle containers.

"What's up," he shouted to the friends over the sound of the mixer.

The usually laid-back Veyra turned off the mixer with a growl of frustration. "Ughh! My butter isn't creaming into the sugar!"

Ophelia was taking pictures of the sprinkles now. "Chill out, Vey. It's cookies," she turned to Wesley. "She's starting her New Year's resolution to give up caffeine early."

Wesley remembered how stressed Veyra had been during the decorating in the Main Hall the other day. It was weird to see her like this since nothing ever bothered her and she was one of the chillest people he knew.

"Sorry," Veyra said, banging a spatula along the side of the bowl. "The holidays are just really not my scene." She dropped the spatula into the bowl and brushed the jet-black hair that escaped from her messy bun out of her eyes, leaving a streak of whatever was in the bowl along the side of her face.

"Maybe you should take a break," Wesley offered, peering into the bowl of…whatever. "I can probably handle this."

Veyra practically shoved him out of the way. "No, I got this. It's fine." She ground out between clenched teeth.

Wesley rubbed his arm where she had shoved. "Ow." He looked at Ophelia since he knew she and Veyra were pretty close. "Is she okay?"

"I'm fine," Veyra said in a manner that assured them she was not.

"Coffee," Ophelia mouthed to him. Wesley nodded and gave her thumbs up.

He ducked out of the kitchen and was surprised to find Nick sitting on the ground in the servant's passageway, on his phone.

"Oh. Hey. I was just going to call you. What are you doing here?"

Nick took his headphones out. "I'm your bodyguard. This is my job. And your phone's dead."

Wesley pulled his phone out of his back pocket. It was.

"How did you know that?"

Nick shrugged. "I'm your bodyguard."

"The old guys didn't know that."

"New security protocol," Nick shrugged, getting up slowly. "So, what did you need?"

"How much can I bribe you to run downtown and get coffee for my friend?"

Nick rolled his eyes. "Lady Veyra?"

"How did-"

"It's my job," Nick sighed. "Yeah. I'm on it, but I'm getting one for me. The coffee here sucks."

A half an hour later, Nick met Wesley (who was now covered in flour thanks to Jamie) back in the hall to give him Veyra's favorite iced coffee and a pack of cigarettes.

"You are the best bodyguard ever," Wesley said, stuffing it in his pocket. "Remind me to give you a Christmas bonus."

"You said that yesterday."

"Okay, two Christmas bonuses. And you don't have to wait for me. I think I'm perfectly safe down in the kitchens."

Veyra looked like she might slap him when he came back and greeted her with the iced coffee, but she took it anyway and before long she had cheered up considerably. Before long he had helped her and Ophelia make sugar cookie dough, but Alyex had to come to help them cut the dough into shapes with cookie cutters. Aidan came too, but he mostly just made a mess. While the cookies were baking, Wesley helped Iris make chocolate chip cookies with red and green sprinkles (he added the sprinkles) while Eleanor was busy holding Jamie and stuck making icing with the kids and Lissa.

There was no avoiding anyone when the sugar cookies were done because they all sat down to decorate them together. He did manage to not sit next to Lissa or Eleanor, but that meant sitting between Aidan and Jamie, and by the time they were done, both of his sleeves were covered with icing, sprinkles, and cookie bits. No one could tell his cookies apart from his nephews either, but the girls made works of art that were going to plastered all over social media. Alyex had found Nick still outside so she made him come inside to decorate the cookies with them. Ophelia sang Christmas songs and was the only good singer when they all joined in, but it was fun anyway. Probably the most fun he had in a long time.

It was almost dinnertime, he realized, when Lissa left with Evie and Sophie and the boys were collected by Nicole and Christine (who also insisted on taking pictures). Veyra, Ophelia, Eleanor, and Iris all left soon after. Alyex insisted she was fine cleaning up on her own, but Wesley stayed to help since he felt bad leaving it for the staff after they had destroyed the kitchen. They were washing cookie cutters together when Alyex spoke up.

"I need to tell you something," she blurted out, wiping her hands on her jeans. "I've actually been meaning to for a while."

Wesley almost dropped the cookie cutter. Oh great, just like Callista and Valette, Alyex was going to leave. At least she had the decency to ask.

"I just don't think…" Alyex sighed, drying her hands on a towel. "What I'm trying to say is that I don't think we would be a good match."

Wesley nodded, thinking of taking her to the carnival and riding the Ferris wheel and puking into her hat and how she had thanked him for being her friend. "Oh."

"I just wanted to tell you that I don't think I have those feelings for you because it's the Elite now and you already have enough on your plate and if I know that I don't love you that might make things easier for you," she rambled, coming to a stop and trailing off. "I hope you're not mad. I think you're a great guy, I just don't feel like that."

Wesley dropped the cookie cutters he was rinsing so he decided to turn off the sink. He tried to meet her eyes, but he was struck with how hard it was. "Well, if you want to leave-"

"That's the thing though. I really don't, but I don't feel comfortable leading you on if I know how I feel about you."

There was this terrible fear in his mind that everyone would tell him this and he would be even more of an embarrassment. He really liked Alyex. She was sweet and caring and she organized this whole thing for the kids and always seemed to hold a little bit of herself back, but she was honest and always thinking about everyone else and how he could never decide if her eyes were blue or green. He really liked her—just not in a romantic way. Immediately, his thoughts turned to Ethan and his Selection and Nat and the (most likely heavily edited) stories he had heard.

"If you don't want to leave," Wesley started, his mind turning in circles so quick his mouth could barely keep up, "maybe you could stay. We would both know that we—" he pointed in between them, "wouldn't be an option, but I don't mind if you stay. You could be my…my friend."

He watched her face as he proposed the idea. She pressed her lips together, but it unsuccessfully stopped the smile splitting her face, scrunching up her eyes. He was surprised to see tears sparkling in them, and that's when he noticed that one of her eyes was light blue and the other was light green.

"Your eyes are different colored," he said, and Alyex laughed at his randomness, the thick kind of laugh you do when you're choked up.

"I would love to be your friend, Wesley," she said, her smile contagious. "I've…I've never really had one." She pointed to her face. "It's called heterochromia, but no one ever really notices."

"Well, I noticed," Wesley said, holding his arms out. "Come here, new bestie!"

Alyex giggled as she hugged him. She stepped back. "Okay, but the first order of friend business is to help me finish cleaning up this mess."

He shrugged. "I was going to anyway! And your first order of friend business is to help me figure out what the heck to get everyone for Christmas."

Alyex grinned. "Oh, I can help with that!"

…

By Christmas Eve, Alyex had helped him pick out nine presents, though he had to come up with hers on his own, of course. She even helped him with the many family and extended family and not-quite family presents. Christmas Day was always really busy for the royal family, so they took full advantage of Christmas Eve. There were the usual, like film some things for the Report's Christmas special or take photos for the media and the queens/princesses all went to hospitals and charities and Andrew did a special Christmas Eve address to the nation the Council met with the governors and legislators of the provinces. Wesley took Ophelia and Eleanor to a matinee of the Nutcracker for its theater/ballet aspects. By the time night fell, the palace was weirdly quiet because they always gave most of the staff several days off—the security department got paid double and had vacation time scheduled or already taken-but Wesley knew all that would change once the guests arrived tomorrow for the Christmas festivities. Heck, he probably wouldn't even notice the Elite with everyone else here. Michelle and David and their kids had arrived a few days ago.

It only took five cars and a massive escort to get all of them out of the palace for the first time in weeks to the cathedral downtown for a Christmas Eve service, but as usual, it turned in to more of a parade with everyone flocking to the streets which were festooned with Christmas lights and wreaths and all sorts of decorations and guards and helicopters and plenty of extra security. They waved through the windows, and Wesley held Vera's hand the whole ride, considering what had happened last time they had done this. They stopped for some pictures outside the cathedral, waving to the crowds and Wesley didn't let go of Vera until they were packed into the pews and he was dragged up to the front to sit with the rest of the royal family.

Wesley had tried really hard to get it to snow for Vera when they got back to the palace, but nothing had worked. His next best idea was to spend time with the girls since he probably wouldn't see much of them tomorrow.

"Meet me in the Woman's Room in ten minutes," he yelled as they were all getting out of the limos, under the sparkling lights that adorned the lawn and the palace and practically everything. He ran inside ahead of them. "I have surprises for you guys!"

They all looked so cute in their holiday church clothes, Wesley had to admit, as they all ran inside. The Woman's Room had its usual Christmas adornment, but he had made sure to bribe Nick to help him before they left for the service, with way too many multicolored Christmas lights and Christmas blankets and Christmas music and movies snacks and of course, the presents.

He had to run to the kitchens to get the hot chocolate, but he was surprised to find it completely empty when he returned. His mind jumped to the worst so two minutes later when they all poured in, all carrying mountains presents for him and each other, they found him glumly drinking hot chocolate wrapped in a red flannel blanket.

"Oh. Hi. I thought you guys deserted me."

Veyra whacked the back of his head. "You goof. We were gone like five minutes."

"We had to get your presents!" Eleanor said, plopping down next to him. She was wearing red lipstick and a red dress, and she was adorable.

"Oh! Well in that case!"

There was a flurry of activity as presents were passed out and opened. Wesley winked at Alyex as they set about ripping paper and bows off followed by squeals of joy. In everyone's parcel was Wesley's gift of the year—a pair of socks and a nice framed picture of his face—but he thought he had done pretty well with the other gifts. Iris was hugging the jumble of cat toys he had got for her and Hime, the cat-printed socks, and the sketch notebook embossed with architectural building aesthetics. Lillian's eyes lit up at the sight of her potted succulent and leaf-patterned socks. He didn't know what to get Dresden, but she seemed happy with the gourmet chocolates and designer leather jacket. Ophelia was squealing over the framed collection of vintage signed playbills from her favorite old shows and socks with macarons on them and Fallon was smiling from where she was tucked away in a corner over the pumps with the bowties she hated so much on the toes and the socks to match.

"Shreave, you outdid yourself," Veyra yelled, opening her giant box packed with a gourmet coffee maker and plenty of bags of her favorite coffee blend from Starbucks and the ridiculous black leather socks.

Eleanor was shrieking over her tiny box containing a silver heart locket set with a tiny pink diamond and ballet-themed socks. She immediately took Lissa's old necklace off to put the new one on and Wesley quickly pushed away the relief he felt as he watched.

"I love it!" she cried.

Vera was holding the tiny snow globe with a happy smile on her face, her cheeks glowing. It was St. George themed, and kinda dumb, but the plaid socks and very flat leather boots hopefully made up for it. Georgia made eye contact and gave him a wry smile as she no doubt saw the several packs of cigarettes, he owed her and the lighter hiding below the very fancy faux fur wrap.

"Oh, not this again!" Alyex shouted, taking out the same exact hat like the one he had ruined on their date. He had also tracked down a tiny little necklace with a charm shaped like the Christmas tree cookie cutter and socks with the Ferris wheels on them.

"Did I do good?" he asked her as Eleanor hugged his side over-enthusiastically and nearly broke his elbow in the process.

Alyex nodded happily and then handed him a gift from her. It was a Christmas cookie cookbook and Wesley laughed hysterically for a while after that and they took a cookie break before the next round happened. Fallon gave him an approved tie, of course, and Vera got him a fancy bottle of red wine which clashed terrifically with the aged whiskey Veyra got him with a bunch of pictures from the karaoke party. Georgia had some fancy cigars for him, and Eleanor's present was a set of nice cufflinks. he got a lot of ties and bowties and crazy socks and shot glasses that he was sure to get more of tomorrow, but they were all in great taste and suited him perfectly. The girls all had gifts for each other and then Wesley announced the last group present.

"Alright guys," he said as he disentangled himself from his blanket and stood, speaking around the crumbs of what he swore was his last cookie. "One more thing. First off, thanks to all of you for spending Christmas with me and my family this year instead of yours. It's been fun," he raised his glass of newly cracked open wine to them and they raised their various drinks of alcohol, eggnog, and hot chocolate and even a few cookies back to him

"And tomorrow is going to be a little crazy so if I don't get to see you, merry Christmas!" Everyone toasted, and then Wesley moved on. "I know you all must miss your families, so after New Year's sometimes I'm inviting them to the palace!" He didn't mention the fact that he was going to do a few more eliminations first, he just reveled in all the glowing faces and happy cries and hugs. "And also, I set it up, so everyone gets to video chat tonight! And then we're going to watch Christmas movies, so I suggest you hurry!"

They all started yelling and jumping up and down and screaming and some looked like they were going to cry. "You can stay here or find a spot or go to your room," he said as he handed out the equipment. He stayed long enough to make sure all the security had been overridden like Nick promised it would, and to make sure they were all connected to their families who had been contacted a few days ago about the connection. Just not long enough to get dragged in front of a screen and introduced to parents.

Nah, Wesley made a quick exit, stopping long enough to grab one more present before making his way to the fourth floor. He stood like an idiot in front of Lissa's door, but there was no answer even after like seven knocks. Christine was the only adult in Evie and Sophie's nursery, and he convinced Evie to distract her mom long enough to ask Sophie where Lissa was.

"She went home," his niece told him. Wesley's heart definitely didn't stop or anything. Definitely not. "She said she was going to the airport this morning."

"Well, is she coming back?" Wesley asked a little too loud.

"Of course! After Christmas," Sophie said. "Did you bring me a Christmas present?"

Wesley patted his back pocket with one tiny box that was definitely not for his niece. "You'll get it tomorrow, Soph," he said, ruffling her hair. She giggled and he bent to hug her. "Merry Christmas, kid."

Evie demanded a hug too, of course, and Wesley happily obliged.

He felt like an idiot as he plodded down the stairs, taking in the quiet palace. Most of the lights were off except for the giant tree's lights and the fake candles in all the windows. He would have tripped over the figure sitting at the bottom of the stairs if she hadn't spoken up.

"Where did you run off too?" Vera asked, her one-inch heels kicked off and looking effortless beautiful with her hair pulled into a messy ponytail. She was wearing a loose black sweater and a dark green skirt and black stockings, and she looked so cute. Wesley sat down next to her.

"Why do I always find you on these stairs, Vera? And why aren't you talking to your family? I contacted your brother to tell him you were going-"

Vera looked at her lap. "I talked to him. We said Merry Christmas and that was that."

Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. Just another reminder for Vera that her family was all dead and she hated her brother and all she had gone through.

"I'm sorry, Vee," he said quietly. He would have hugged her, but Vera wasn't a hugger. She wasn't a crier either, but he watched her cover her face with both hands pressed tight.

"I hate Christmas," she choked out, her shoulders shaking as she tried unsuccessfully to hold back sobs. "I hate the war and I hate Luke and sometimes Wesley, I think I could even hate you."

"Oh," Wesley mumbled. "I don't know why you would, but okay." His Christmas Eve wasn't going so good anymore.

Vera looked up from her hands, her eyeliner smeared. "I tried to hate you; I really did. How you acted like you were so screwed up you couldn't function when you only saw your best friend die. I don't have anyone anymore and you just got to come home to your family and your friends and pretend like you were messed up and I had to lose everyone I ever knew and my home and myself and I had to come here and pretend like I was fine."

"You don't have to pretend you-"

He didn't get to say the rest, because Vera leaned over and she was kissing him, one hand gently cupping his face. He lost track of everything there for a minute but stopped himself when he reached for her.

"Wait wait wait, you just said you hated me!"

"I don't hate you, Wesley," Vera said, wiping the smudges under eyes. "I hate that you are doing exactly what my brother is doing and drinking and smoking and trying to forget when you should-" she waved her hands. "I don't know what I'm saying. I'm not trying to compare what we went through and say I got the worse end of the bargain, so you're not allowed to be sad…I just don't want you to end up like my brother. Don't mess your life up. Stop drinking so much and go to a therapist and talk to someone and don't keep it bottled up and quit smoking those disgusting things, please. You can move on."

"I don't know if I can," Wesley said softly.

"You know what else? I hate the way you make me feel because I don't want to feel anything at all. Isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard? I hate that you feel everything so much and I don't want to feel anything."

He put his hand on her knee next to him. "It's not. We're going to move on together. You and me. You're going to help me and I'm going to help you."

Vera looked at him, the tree lights sparkling in her eyes. And then she kissed him again and they didn't stop and Alyex interrupted them running down the stairs with Ophelia chasing her as they argued about their favorite Christmas movies, clad in Christmas pajamas. Wesley and Vera jumped up.

"Come on, guys! Eleanor is finishing up and the others are going to change!" Alyex yelled before she and Ophelia disappeared into the Woman's Room.

"Merry Christmas, Vee," Wesley whispered, squeezing her hand.

…