Khr ain't mine

ACasualPotato, I was in a pretty crabby mood and then I saw your comment and snickered enough to turn my mood a whole 180 haha. Don't worry, this story isn't going to be as depressing as some of my other ones (far from it, actually) ;)

I've given up on softening my blows, cause it seems like I've become morbid by nature. If that's changing any time soon, it'll change as the story goes on.
At least, it's not any thing explicit :p. You gotta take what you get, I suppose.

Well, let's get back to it, shall we? Lemme know what you think bout the story and hope you enjoy reading it ^^

Chapter 2

The Apprentice

The brunette woke up to cinders and knowledge and experiences he had never heard off in his life. He glanced at the remains of the noose and christened himself Tsunayoshi to start the sails to a new life.

He decided to leave the village and forget his past since he'd have to fill in the pharmacist's footsteps. Kawahira had probably his own agendas in mind, but he didn't have to follow those, right?

He moved to a port city, intending on hitchhiking on a boat or a ship to travel to places and find this Arcobaleno that the man obsessed with. Tsunayoshi decided that the best way he could do that was by getting in a bar. There'd be drinks that can satiate his hunger, drunks that will chatter out information at the very least.

He heard a groan when he was inching in closer to a tavern. Merry cheers erupted from the place, but he moved in towards the alley on the side. There was a man whose hair looked like a lion's mane and wore gypsy clothing. The brunette moved in closer to the youth who was puking his guts and looked like he'd fit better in a confession booth. When he moved his hands towards the suffering soul, intending on rummaging through his baggy pants for wallets and loose change, he heard the man sniffle and sob. Then, he decided he would rob him blind after comforting him- so he petted the mane like he was petting an oversized feline.

The guy latched on to him and without any reservations, he poured out his woes.

"Missy, you're a kind soul, unlike Jill. She wanted the roses that those marines gifted their huns. You can't even eat those, what good are those?"

"You can eat them roses, but the price ain't worth it." but it seemed like his comments weren't even registering in the man's ears because he continued on.

"Ya know what flowers are? They're plant genitals- that posh kid told me. Wonder what's so romantic bout gifting a buncha plant hoohaas. Know what that earned me, a slap at the kisser.

There's no fun with those idiots. Those stuck-up pricks can't have a jolly good time if their neck's on the line. I was fine wit her gettin both flavours, thought the variety would make the tango interesting. Told her ta take a pistol and shoot the mistress if she wanted that man so much.

Ain't I a nice guy? But she; she stuffed them hoohaas right at me face and you know what she said?"

"What did she say?"

"She said that I better be grateful for having this much p*ssy, cos there ain't gonna be that many gals that'd throw themselves on me like that. Right in fronta me crew. I got my game still, right miss?"

"I dunno 'bout that. You might if you win a game against her."

"We play lass, we play rough til the dead of tha night. Thing is, she don't wanna play no more." the grown man sobbed right into his shoulder. Frankly, his weight was crushing him. The brunette suggested, irritatedly.

"Maybe you can show her how to pull a fast one on that mistress. She could be angry because she didn't know how to pull off that idea? Make that into a game."

It seemed like the man got a light bulb moment and he dragged the boy along for the ride. He tottered around the streets singing songs that the brunette could recognize, and so the boy hummed along. Encouraged by that, the man sang loudly and out of tune.

The duo had an audience that didn't hesitate on lobbing them with tomatoes, which the brunette greatly appreciated. He got free food that was still edible (borderline). Some were throwing stale bread, and the others- rotten eggs. Tsuna knew what he'd be having for breakfast tomorrow.

The drunk man slammed into a street lamp, which he mistook for a solo spotlight. He shoved the brunette away, hogging all the light. The boy didn't care- he got snacks and a show to watch while munching away. He even clapped enthusiastically after each performance.

But the show must end. The man finally remembered his mission and walked on to the horizons. Tsuna had become his crutch since the other wasn't getting anywhere being as drunk as he was.

They finally reached their destination- a dingy apartment complex. The man holla'd at the shut door, while the brunette rapped at it. It finally gave away, revealing a sleepy, irritated woman who seemed like she hated the sun for waking her up to a new day. The man freed himself from the boy's support and grabbed her chin to whisper sweet nothings.

The brunette thought he'd overstayed his visit when the lovers went inside her house and tumbled onto the ground. The light from the room was the only thing that clued in on his plans and the other cheerfully said,

"Doll, I thought of playing a game with ya to help ya get over yer fear of guns."

He pulled out a revolver from his sash and released all of the ammo in there, and put back one of them inside the chambers.

"This game is a hella fun. Ma boys will vouch for it, I guarantee. Here, I'll show ya."

He took the gun and popped it in his mouth and made a shot. The brunette wondered what it tasted like, while the lady screamed in shock. The man shushed her and kissed her messily to calm her down. She looked back at him, drunk and hazy.

He placed the gun in her mouth and shot again. Her eyes grew wide like saucers, and he brought the gun back and sucked at its entrance, his eyes gleaming predatorily and his lips smirking with mirth. She looked partially entranced and partly terrified. The brunette made a move to leave if they were just going to make out using guns. But when he turned around and walked a step, he heard a bang instead of a blank and he swiveled around.

"Can you believe her? We were justtt getting to the good part and she decided to snooze. Sleeping like a log.

Che, that was no fun. C'mere lass, let me treat ya to a drink."

In the morning, the captain woke up bleary-eyed to see a scrawny boy chugging on a cup of rum. There were a whole bunch of empty mugs around the man and he possessively snatched the mug from the boy.

"That's my rum you're drinking there, lad. Cough up the rest."

"You're the one who said you'd give me a treat after getting bored of playing with Jill." It seemed like the man had no memories from the other night, so he thought he could bring up his Juliet to jog his memory.

"Who?"

No dice huh, well he was missy last night. He ain't missy right now, so he better skedaddle.

He looked at the bartender and said, "This guy's footing the bill." and walked casually towards the bar's doors. Captain there didn't appreciate it one bit and cocked his revolver at the boy and pressed the trigger- to hear a click. He pressed the trigger several times, but the gun would only fire blanks. Tsuna didn't play Russian Roulette with the captain, Jill did. Then he thought of something and swivelled back.

"Let me make it up to you, cap'. I'm sure we can strike a nice deal here. Let me on your ship and I can help ya out with grunt work. You just gotta leave me on the next stop."

"Strange that you'd be chickening right back to the guy you judged as having no fangs. Did the bounty posters spook you, kiddo?"

It was then, that the brunette looked at the wanted posters with his smug mug on it. The price was astounding, to say the least. No other could match up to it. It even seemed that his notoriety got the bartenders to quietly serve his drinks in the place plastered with his mugshots. The guy's got them intimidated enough.

"I don't think the bartenders would need liquid courage to holla over a cop, now that you've got nothing to sink your jaws with. I didn't offer to be a stowaway, did I? You should grab a good deal, while it lasts, captain."

The man- Jack- those posters called him, gave him a once over and smirked in appreciation. "You've got spunk, kid. Welcome aboard."

Tsunayoshi booked one of the bar's rental rooms to move his stuff in. His room was kind of bereft of items, but it had 3 suitcases in it. Two of them were tiny; one contained a mortar, some herbs, and some medicine bottles; the other contained 7 tiny pacifiers that the pharmacist intended on passing on to his chosen candidates via special missions. The last suitcase contained a couple of clothes and some snacks and beer bottles, courtesy of last night.

The brunette intended on keeping the pacifiers all for himself, even if it meant he had to be the one to satiate its greed. It was for two reasons, one was because he didn't want to give them away since it was his. The other was because he would collect a lot of grudges with each batch of these, and he prioritized his safety.

Jack waltzed into the room and saw the pacifiers and jeered at him.

"Never pegged you for a momma's boy, you even kept them in a case!"

"Oh, go suck on it."

"Don't mind if I do." The man moved an picked up an indigo pacifier, his eyes curved upwards as they taunted him. The pacifier, on the other hand, felt compatibility for the first time after being fed secondhand sky flames from the selfish little kid. It wrapped its indigo tendrils around his wrist. "Huh. Never thought that you'd be indulging in witchcraft."

Tsuna played along "If you know you're dealing with a witch doctor, you might want to back off right now."

"Or what? You'll stab my effigy with pins? Voodoo curse me into a chimaera?" he guffawed.

"Maybe I'd curse your lips to suck on that pacifier for life. Wonder how you'd deal with that, prince charming?" it was an empty threat, but the man chucked the pacifier at him with slight distaste. But then, he looked at it with a bit of intrigue; "If you're that fascinated with it, how does it fare to the real thing?" he hinted, making a sucking motion.

"Haven't you tried the real thing already?" the boy asked with distaste.

"But, is it better than the real thing?" to which the brunette bluffed, "You will not find the answer to that unless you become an actual toddler. Only they can appreciate true art.". Suckling on those might actually burn his lips away with how much they radiate energy. This captain might actually ask the ladies who fancy those radium lipsticks for a better source of information.

"You're yapping away like those feathery counts. 'Only those blessed souls can appreciate fine wine and fine art'. Thinks that being born with a silver spoon can give him a better taste. What art, what renaissance? The before n after looks the same ta me.

In fact, you wanna see what they can do if there was a renaissance?"

The boy's curiosity won over and he let himself get dragged along as the man sneaked into a bathhouse. He calmly pilfered the clothes and bags filled with jewellery and important documents. They were at the cloakroom which was right next to the jacuzzi.

"When they return with their birthday suits from their celebratory rebirth, I wonder if they'd truly like being their descent back at earth.

It wouldn't make sense if they could keep the stuff associated with their previous lives, would it? They need a clean start and a fresh slate, after all." He told the boy with a shark grin.

"It's holy, noblemen like them which makes life much easier for folks like me. It's even simpler than stealing candy from a baby." he said after pushing all the goods in a sack and finally lugging the brunette into his shoulder like a sandbag. The man then made his dashing escape.

The next morning, while he was clearing up the counter, he heard that a group of people decided to take a page from Archimedes. He thought that the captain taught them to wisen up, he even took their tuition fee in advance.

While he sang praises in his mind, the said captain was selling dreams to hapless drunks. Tsuna heard what the sailors translated the guy's speech into.

"There's an adventure lying await for you in the sea. Fate favours the brave and would lend you her magic to change your rags to riches.

There was no pain with no risk." and the man intended that to be their watery graves. People said that the sea was the source of life and since life was cyclic in nature, it didn't matter if it was life's sinkhole also, right?

When they reached shore, Jack was in a good mood. After all, there was more for him now that there was less competition.

But if there was one thing he regretted, it was the fact that the brunette was in charge of the dishes and the cleanup. A clumsy maid was a concept that was good in concept, but not so much in reality if it meant that they had to eat from the floors. Certainly not good if it meant that the decks would become swiss cheese and slowly turn their ship into the Titanic.

He was a captain that would not go down with his ship.

Omake:

Jack had convinced Tsuna to take advantage of his girlish looks to push him inside a brothel. The women were charmed and the brunette had turned into a tomato by the end of the night. It wasn't an exaggeration. The ladies demanded that he blush and act coy, so they painted his lips rouge and flushed his cheeks with a pink blush. They even painted his eyeshadows baby pink and made him wear a long red dress with red netted stockings.
Before the captain wolf-whistled at the boy's transformation, the ungrateful brat, feeling that his skin felt itchy- rubbed all the makeup all over his face.
The mascara had become greatly amplified and he looked like his face had been peeled by butchers and terrified both the captain and the clubs' patrons. He was certainly unforgettable, before and after that change. Unsurprisingly, they both had been promptly kicked out and the man realized that the child would not be a sight for sore eyes and not give him moola by pimping him out.
To give him credit, the boy's skin was actually itchy- it developed rashes.

Jack looked at the boy disheartened and asked, "Well? Did you get anything out of that experience?"
To which the brunette flaunted the treasure gifted to him, a small pile of kerchiefs laced with kisses and a corset or two; this loot, he would not share; much to the envy of the man who plotted this mess. Turns out, they did not share the same outlook on the loot's value- it was the boy's trash and the man's treasure.
But still... the brunette wanted to hoard it.