Chapter 4

Journey to the 'God Blessed Country'

When the two gaped at each other with mouths so wide that flys would do eights around them (is that a form of indirect kisses?), Bermuda introduced the adult to the brunette, just to honour courtesy.

"You see, we're a sort of business partners-"

"Right, so the kid here guards my ship fer me and I get ta use some of his resources to do some trades and treasure hunts without needin ta pay him back if they break... during those missions.

We have commission rates n all.

It's always a pleasure doin business with ya, young master~" the cap'n snickered out.

Meanwhile, Tsuna looked even more shocked at the news.

'You mean this guy, this guy, who puts tabs on tabs in bars with enough promises to rival that of what the mayors give out; The guy who makes the lady in the date, seem like a sugar daddy- and not even having the decency to even go dutch...

The guy who steals from even beggers or any pocket in sight- the molester of every wallet(they must have even filed cases against him!), the idiot who hoards all the treasure in a pirate trip and doesn't pay up for any bet lost...

Is actually filthy rich?! He'd always acted like a filthy rat, so I thought that was why we were kinda friends...'

"At this rate, Ebenezer Scrouge's ghost along with the three Christmas spirits (ghostception...?) will haunt your guts, Jack..." Tsuna solemnly advised the manchild.

"You think I cud teach em some new tricks? Like, I dunno, sic em at them old folks? I can get a pretty penny or two by playin' exorcist."

"He's a lost cause, Tsunayoshi. You'd best focus your efforts elsewhere if you want any fruits of labour.

We will get to the heart of the matter later. It's rather boorish to continue to only talk about work.

...Care for a game of chess?"

Fast forward a couple of hours later,

Tsuna sat on a throne half a yard away from the young master of the house as the servants in the house wore chess piece outfits. They were rather efficient and malleable to requests, given how quickly they responded to the whims and fancies of the oddball of a lord.

Just to clarify, Bermuda wasn't the one to propose this rather flamboyant way of playing chess- no, it was Tsuna's fault.

'I just told him that with how clumsy I am usually, those tiny pieces in that checkerboard are going to fly into either of our eyes...

Well, it wasn't like I could tell him that I didn't know how to play when he conjured up this board just after his suggestion.

Just why did it have to come to this...?'

Jack was examining the board while whispering suggestions to the lost child. He was being surprisingly nice about this.

Tsuna looked distractedly at the shivering maid who was attending to him for the game.

'Oh. she must be the newest hire... Guess she's stiffened to silence from the rumours surrounding the house.

Actually, judging by the way the head butler and maid hire newbies, we should have the reputation of saints...

But then the people just have to gossip. "The two are always targetting widowed mothers, orphans, and those who have lost everything! They say that once you step in that house, there's no coming back!"

The people who get hired here have pretty much no reason to go out with how sudden or demanding the house's lord could be sometimes. Also, their rooms and living conditions are pretty posh as compared to living elsewhere...'

In fact, somewhere in between the two months since the mansion adopted the new policy, a few curious locals wandered near the pitch black territory from rumours of the mass murder of the residents followed by the suicide of the insane young master. It just so happened that the one who attended the door was a rather clumsy maid who was drenched in tomatoes from a kitchen fiasco... You can guess what happened next.

'Necromancy? Really? Well, at least this one is partially right since they've hired a zombie for a butler...'

He felt pretty sorry for the new maid, so he gave her few words of encouragement,

"Don't you worry, miss. You'll become a part of us in no time- our ties go deeper than family!

We'll be together even in death! You'll never go lonely and you'll never want to go back!"

She paled even further. 'Huh? I wonder what's wrong?'

Just then, Bermuda's clear voice echoed out, "Checkmate." and there went the last of the new lass's nerves. A maid discreetly moved over to her to pour some smelling salts over her fainted body, muttering "I swear the youngins get spooked by their own shadow these days... Getting scared of the kid who ran from chicken duty... Can't even call him a chicken... Probably doesn't even taste like one..."

Tsuna resented that sentiment, 'If you saw how those birds tried to use guerrilla war tactics against me, you'd be singing a whole different tune.'

Then the brunette glimpsed at the captain, wondering what his reaction would be- and spotted malicious smiles between the captain and the young master.

'These guys planned the whole thing! Why?! I don't even know the rules of the game!'

The chessboard had the white king move in a beeline towards the enemy king and was obediently surrounded by the knight, rook, bishop, and the queen- definitely in a dire situation. The other white pieces were sitting ducks.

However, the pain of seeing such a play was only felt to such a bone-deep extent by the spectators and the pieces themselves. How many times had the white pieces felt like facepalming with every instruction that puppet-Tsuna spoke?

Shame...

Tsuna, however, was blissfully ignorant of the massacre that would have happened if he was in charge of the white kingdom in a real war.

The brunette approached the childish lord, motioning him towards the kettle while the other was basking in the glory of victory. While the young lord was gloating, the cap'n who double-crossed him in a moment's breath was counting money leisurely.

"I'm planning on extending the influence of the Veckenschtein and my power with my next trip. Jack and you are coming along.

Oh, I know. How about you play darts on where we should go next?"

It seemed like the stage was set for him with a dartboard of a map and darts. There was even a blindfold for the brunette to wear if he wanted to let fate decide.

But as if his hands had a mind of their own, they picked a dart up and aimed straight at a particular spot- and released it in a smooth and graceful movement.

The dart flew straight into America.

"How interesting. To think that you aimed there. I have an acquaintance there who's quite sharp, for all that life had put him through.

He came out scarred from the experience, but thanks to that, the blind locals over there couldn't put him through the wringer for every decision he could make from then.

It was truly fortunate for him that I found that type of spectacle annoying."

"You say that as if it was you who put the bullet in the idiot's skull."

"The shot was under my orders. It may as well be done by my very hands.

Besides, don't tell me that you found that order displeasing."

"The guy's whip nicked me, so it helped me get even with him.

I don't get what you have against noisy people."

Bermuda looked at the confused expression of the brunette and gave him a brief.

"You could say, I 'freed' him to let him go on a rampage over there.

They don't know what hit them." he said, smiling darkly.

When the trio reached the destination after a gruelling week with plenty of ship hands (hired by Bermuda who wanted everything to be perfect), a blemish appeared in their plan when it was Tsuna who strayed from the group- the poor, lost sheep.

'Those two are hopeless. They got lost as soon as they set foot here. What would they do without me?' The exasperated brunette glanced around the area, hearing tinkering of machines as people hustled and bustled around.

Just then, a couple of policemen walked near him as they spoke in a satisfied tone, "It's all in a day's work. We've caught that skirt chaser. Did you hear him? He said that he'd dual him over for that girl? What age was he living in?

Well... win or lose, that guy would be getting money from the bets that the crowd made. Have you seen scum like that?"

Tsuna's eyes widened as the person who they were talking about manifested in his mind.

'What?! Jack got arrested?! That's bad. I gotta rescue him, pronto.'

The panicked kid went straight to the police and slapped one right across the cheek and said, "Let's see if you can arrest me! Try it if you dare!"

The one slapped got into a rage, while the other tried to reason with the assaulter, "Kid, I understand that times are tough, but jail's not gonna be a great alternative to find a free room to stay with food as a package deal." he spoke with the weariness of a person who had to deal with so many idiots who thought that this kind of thing was a bright idea.

If there was a will, there was definitely a way! Tsuna did not lose hope.

Thus, Tsuna decided to follow the steps of Robin hood and sneaked into a rich-looking house with the subtlety of an ox in a china shop. The police were called, and they became his matador and willingly apprehended him this time.

(If things actually went smoothly, the goods would have been stashed in the poorest and most vulnerable of souls. They'd be the immediate suspects and screwed to hell and beyond. Why was Robin hood ever a good idea? How could you even exchange such expensive stolen goods for their price without making the owners track the sellers down?)

Omake 1:

The maids and butlers lit the halls, now that the master left the house on a trip. That boy made wonders and miracles happen.

When the light came on, they cheered and rejoiced for a moment, before their eyes burned in such brightness.

They shrivelled into themselves as they shrieked like vampires- and immediately switched everything off. Habit is truly a scary thing.

To the outsiders who saw the whole house flashlight before turning dark- like lightning, got even more riled up from the scare.

'They must finally be experimenting with reanimation, those damned souls!'

Omake 2:

Jack walked near a house that had a sack of ornaments lying around and casually claimed it for himself.

"That child must be so foolish to attempt to rob the lord in broad daylight. Perhaps, he was truly desperate- that poor child.

The Japanese can be quite crazy- abandoning their child. What were they thinking?"

'What I don't hear, I don't know' the man hummed to himself as he made his merry way to find some more good loot. He'd savour the freedom he won by volunteering to find the brunette.

Meanwhile, Bermuda rejected the urge to groan as he pieced what happened. He's set an idiot loose in search for a nut who decided to get himself arrested to find the idiot. What a magnificent goose chase!