AN: Here we are, another chapter here!
I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!
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Daryl sat on the porch, outside of Siddiq's office, with the window open. He smoked cigarettes, watched people go about their business or choose ways to pass their idle time, and kept an ear out for what was happening inside the office.
Daryl didn't want to be underfoot for the lesson, but he also didn't want to leave. Not yet. Not for the first lesson.
It wasn't that Daryl didn't trust Siddiq—right now, he trusted the man more than he trusted most people to be left somewhat alone with Carol—but he wasn't entirely sure how the man would handle mentions of Michael. Daryl didn't think that Michael was a bad person, or even a bad doctor—not in the slightest—but he did have some questions about the man's bedside manner. He knew, though, that doctors were like every other profession in the world, and they were bound to have those that were better at certain aspects of their jobs than others.
He was relatively pleased, though, that Siddiq spent much of the first lesson going over basic bedside manner and working with a patient for the first time. He explained that there was a difference in how you handled patients in war-type situations where there was no room for niceties, and how you handled those that would be repeated, regular patients. He had Carol play the role, more than once, of a different patient, and she had Enid welcome her to the clinic and take her through a variety of questions for which she made up different answers each time. From the tone of her voice, as it carried out the window, she seemed to be enjoying herself, so that made Daryl relax a little more as he waited.
When it was actually time for Enid to get to ask some actual questions about Carol and her real situation, Siddiq had explained to her that they didn't take Carol's blood pressure. She'd questioned that, of course, based on her learning from working with Michael, but Siddiq had explained it that, though he couldn't say that blood pressure was entirely unimportant, he believed that a good doctor recognized when different things benefited their patients.
At no point did Carol express that she needed Daryl. She never sounded upset. And when she came out of the clinic, and wrapped her arms around Daryl, offering him a kiss before suggesting a walk around Alexandria, she didn't look like she'd even been mildly inconvenienced.
Daryl decided, as he shook Siddiq's hand and waved at Enid who headed off to do things that interested her, that maybe he could trust the doctor enough that he didn't have to sit in on all their lessons.
And he dropped a hand around Carol's waist to walk with her around Alexandria, enjoying, for himself, how light she looked as she commented on the colors in the trees—most of the leaves would soon fall to the ground, leaving skeletons behind to wait out the winter for their new lives in the spring.
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During the late afternoon, Daryl had gotten the assistance of several men in the community, and they'd come to rearrange the basement furniture to Carol's specifications. She'd kept the basic layout that Daryl had suggested—dividing things off to create "spaces" that would serve different purposes—but she'd made a few changes to the locations of various items.
After dinner, they'd spent a little time with Michonne, and Daryl had played a little with the children, but then they'd retired back down to the basement for a little quiet time. Daryl had enjoyed sitting on the couch, watching as Carol put away a few of the items that he'd heaped—as messily as was humanly possible—into boxes and bags.
Daryl wasn't going to mention it, because he didn't want it to be a case of too much, too soon, and he didn't want it to make Carol shy away from what they were slowly building here, but he fully intended to bring up the idea of them finding a house in Alexandria.
As much as Daryl liked the idea of living a private, reserved life with Carol and their child, he also liked the idea of remaining in Alexandria. There was no doubt about it that communities were safer than going it alone. It was easier to have supplies and food, as well, within a community. The work of so many people going into building something meant that they could cover more ground than one couple, alone, could cover. Daryl wondered, too, if their little one might benefit from playmates and the additional family that growing up in Alexandria might provide for her.
Daryl thought the brightest feather in his cap, however, when it came to be a proper time—when Carol was sufficiently happy, cuddly, and receptive to suggestion—to argue his case, was going to be Henry. If Henry came and his relationship with Enid grew more serious, they would be thinking about settling down, establishing a home of their own, and building a family. If Enid enjoyed working with Siddiq, and if he gave her as much work at the clinic as he claimed that he intended to give her, then Enid would likely want to settle in Alexandria.
Carol wanted to be close to Henry. She needed it.
Henry, as it turned out, might very well be the best reason in the world for Daryl to convince Carol that they needed to settle in Alexandria, permanently, and grow their family.
When Carol had settled on the bed with a book, Daryl slipped upstairs to get her a snack—simply telling her that he'd be back—and ended up acquiring a child as well. He knew that Carol wouldn't mind, though, and Judith was adamant about returning to the basement with him, at least until her mother came to cart her off to bed.
"We brought something to feed the baby," Judith announced, bounding into the basement area ahead of Daryl. As Daryl rounded the corner, he saw Carol put her book on the nightstand and fold up her reading glasses.
"What's going on?" She asked, sitting up a little straighter where she reclined against the headboard.
"We brought something to feed the baby," Judith repeated. She climbed quickly onto the bed and over Carol's legs. She perched on her knees on the other side of Carol and immediately spread both her hands, palms down and fingers wide, across Carol's belly. Daryl couldn't even imagine how excited the girl would be when there was substantial growth there to hold her interest.
Daryl reached the bed and handed Carol the warm mug.
"Kinda hot," he admitted.
"Oh—oh what is it?" Carol asked.
"It's milk!" Judith declared. "It's for the baby. Uncle Daryl says that we have to take care of you to take care of the baby."
Carol smiled at Daryl.
"I guess there's some truth to that," she said.
"It's milk with a lil' bit of honey," Daryl said. "Warm. Siddiq had mentioned you might like it and the milk would be good for you. Heard him say, today, you were lookin' better every time he sees you. Baby's growing."
"She's growing," Carol agreed. She rubbed her hand over her own belly, her fingers bumping with Judith's as tiny fingers sought out what she couldn't yet find.
"She pokin' too hard?" Daryl asked quietly.
Carol mouthed a "no" and shook her head at him. She smiled at Judith's touch, now turned to affectionate caressing. Carol reached a hand out and smoothed Judith's hair affectionately.
Daryl wondered, when Carol looked at Judith, if she saw the little girl the same way that Daryl did. Even while he'd been warming the milk, stirring it to keep it from scorching, and Judith had been standing on her stool next to him to watch it for any changes that might take place—helping to prepare something for the baby she already thought of as somehow belonging to her in some way—he'd thought about the fact that he was starting to see Judith, at different times, as three very different people in his mind's eye.
Most of the time, Daryl saw Judith exactly as she was—Rick and Lori's daughter. She'd been born in a prison, during a crisis. She'd lost her mother, immediately, and her father had nearly lost his mind. Daryl had nicknamed her Lil' Asskicker right out of the gate, and he'd wanted to see her grow and survive. He'd wanted to see her beat this world. He'd wanted to believe, watching Judith grow with the people she had around her to care for her, that this was still a world where babies grew up to be people with full lives and didn't simply get fed on by Walkers.
Sometimes, Daryl saw Sophia in Judith. The two girls had been terribly different in a lot of ways, so Daryl didn't so much see a resemblance in their personalities as he saw Judith nearing the age that Sophia had been when Daryl had failed to save her and her life had been cut short. He wondered if, sometimes, Judith reminded Carol of Sophia and all that she'd lost.
Other times, Daryl saw his own daughter in Judith—the daughter that he had yet to meet. The daughter that he had yet to truly feel, growing inside her mother's body. The daughter that he dreamed about and imagined whenever he had the quiet time to devote to such things. Daryl could remember holding Judith when she was a newborn. He could remember watching her take her first bottle—a bottle he'd made sure, himself, that she'd gotten—and he wondered what it would feel like to hold his daughter for the first time. He wondered what it would be like to see her feeding at Carol's breast. He remembered watching how tenderly Carol had nurtured Judith when she was a baby, and he wondered what it would be like to see her arms full of their own child—her face clearly showing that her heart was overflowing with love for the little one in her arms. He imagined watching his daughter grow in the same way that they'd watched Judith grow through all these years.
Even watching Carol affectionately smooth Judith's hair while they sat on the bed together, Daryl imagined what it would be like to have their own daughter climbing onto the bed to share time with them before they tucked her in to sleep.
He supposed, if he thought about a different way, their daughter was already there with them.
Still, he wondered, sometimes, what Carol saw when she looked at Judith, and if she saw all the things that Daryl saw.
"Milk is good for babies," Judith was informing Carol as she petted her the same way she might have petted Dog if he were interested in such things enough to abandon his slumbers on the couch. "All babies need milk. It doesn't even matter what kind of baby they are."
"You're right," Carol agreed.
"How does the milk get to the baby?" Judith asked. "Once you drink it? Do you know?"
"Well," Carol said, hesitating a moment. "You see your belly button?" Judith pulled up her nightshirt and examined her belly button. Carol smiled and affectionately reached out, gently brushing her finger over Judith's belly button. "When babies are in their mommy's tummies, there's something like a straw that goes from mommy's body to baby's body. It connects at her little belly button. And when I eat something or…drink some milk? My body divides up all the good things in the food and it gives some to me, and it gives some to the baby."
"Through the straw?" Judith asked. Carol nodded.
"It's called an umbilical cord," Carol offered.
"I don't know everything, but I do know a lot about babies," Judith said. "Like—I know you'll feed the baby when it's born. And sometimes you'll feed it with bottles, but other times you'll feed it with your breasts because that's how all mommies can feed their babies milk. Just like the cows. My mom told me that."
"You're right," Carol agreed.
"I asked my mom for a book about babies," Judith said. "From the library. She said she's going to look for one and then we can read it together. You like books, and so do I, so we can learn about babies together."
Carol swallowed back her smile so that it was present, but not as dramatic as Daryl thought it could be. She made eye contact with him, quickly, and brushed a hand over Judith's shoulder.
"I'd like that," Carol said. "You can teach me—everything I need to know."
Judith looked pleased with that idea. She was a smart little girl, and Michonne thought it was vitally important to make sure she was smart. She looked thrilled at the idea of teaching Carol, who was busy carrying a baby, all about babies.
Daryl wasn't certain that Judith knew anything at all about Sophia, and she was likely operating under the belief that Carol hadn't carried a baby before. One day that misconception would be laid to rest, but this wasn't the time.
"I know a little bit about babies," Carol offered. "But I'm sure there's a lot you can teach me."
"Is she moving?" Judith asked, her fingers still petting Carol's belly through her pajama top.
"No," Carol said. "She's not moving right now."
"Why not?" Judith asked. Carol smiled at her.
"Maybe—the milk makes her sleepy or…maybe you rubbing my tummy makes her sleepy."
Judith smiled at the very thought that she could affect the baby in some way.
"Or—maybe it's because it's late, and she needs to sleep," Michonne said. She startled all of them, and laughed to herself at the collective jumping that took place on the bed. "Sorry! I'm sorry! I thought you heard me coming down."
"It's better insulated down here than you think," Daryl offered.
"It's late, Judith," Michonne offered. "It's time for us to go to bed. Aunt Carol and the baby need to sleep."
"I'm helping the baby sleep," Judith offered. "I could spend the night down here."
"Some other night," Michonne said quickly. "Come on. I'm tired, too. Let's go."
Judith looked sorely disappointed, but she did offer a goodnight hug and kiss to Carol, which Carol returned, and she patted her belly, one more time, for good measure. She gave Daryl a hug, as well, and kissed his cheek. He hated how destroyed she looked, as he rested her feet on the floor beside the bed, that she couldn't spend the night in the basement petting Carol until she fell asleep.
"I told Aunt Carol that you're getting us a book from the library about babies," Judith offered. "So we can read it together."
"I'm sure Aunt Carol's excited," Michonne said.
"I can't wait," Carol assured her. "But, Michonne, make sure you hit some of the high points with Judith so that she knows—most of what she ought to know? I'd like to avoid too many difficult questions that I won't know how to answer."
Michonne laughed to herself.
"That sounds like a great idea," Michonne said. "But I'm sure I could use some help. Since I'm handling things alone. Maybe we could all work on that together tomorrow. As a family. When I get back from finding the book."
"Daryl—what do you say?" Carol asked. The arch of her eyebrow, and the smirk on her face said she expected him to back out of such a potentially embarrassing offer. A glance in Judith's direction, though, said that the girl was excited about the possibility of doing anything as a whole family—and she had to learn about things someday. Besides, being present would help Daryl know, to some degree, what he should and shouldn't say around her. For just a moment, Daryl saw Judith, as he sometimes did, as their daughter. And he realized that, someday, it would be up to them to teach their own daughter the earliest facts that she'd need to know about babies and where they came from since, he hoped, she would be the first of very many that would be born, and grow up, in Alexandria. He reached and patted Carol's leg, squeezing it affectionately.
"Sounds like a damn good idea to me," Daryl said. He winked at her. "I still got a lot to learn, myself."