Morning everyone!

So yall, take a look at the date, will ya? This time last year, to the day looks like, I updated chapter one and officially set the beginnings of my work out for the reading community. Here we are, one year later, at chapter forty seven and STILL going. Right now, just looking my documents over, it is insanely surreal to me. Happy one year later guys!

Right off the bat, huge thank you to those who commented last week and confirmed that yall appreciated the way last chapter was written out. I was a little nervous about last chapter, because as a lot of you mentioned, it contained some more 'taboo' topics. *scoffs and rolls eyes because society is stupid* As I've said it before, I am a HUGE advocate for proper sexual health, expression, consent, and all the nitty gritty in between – and so I don't plan to write out anything from Levi or Petra's perspective in a way that will shame either one of them, and on that note, I'm not going for the other extreme and using this as a platform for my ideals and agenda because that's not why you're here!

As always, I'm focused on writing out my characters, from Erwin and Hanji, to Eld and Oluo, to of course Levi and Petra – to the absolute best of my ability, and if topics with those more grey undertones come around, I'll face them head on like I do everything else here. Still though, as my reading audience, you guys really take me by surprise with your insight, your recognition of what the characters are going through, and your sheer PATIENCE, because lawdy lawdy this story is still going strong. Yall are the best!

…

…

When Levi had stirred in the morning, he was actually surprised because even with his little episode in the middle of the night, he somehow felt extremely well rested. Granted his body was perhaps a little stiff, sore from the uncommonly high level of demand placed upon him from yesterday's testing, but considering just how exhausted he had been the night previous; he was surprised his muscles weren't all out aching and tense to a much more severe degree.

As alertness came to him, the sleep finally clearing from his mind and restoring his relative functionality, memories of his dream, his thoughts, and even his actions came flooding back to him and Levi bit back a groan, because fuck, for his body to pull that sort of stunt on him, for him to have been so desperate as to have tried handling matters on his own with Petra right there, in her room when he himself was a mere guest, gods he needed to get laid.

Even still though, the outcome, the needed reminder that now was not the right time, but the promise that the right time was coming, that would just have to be enough to sedate him, because Petra was still healing from her rather serious injuries, and if he had waited this long, he could wait until she was at least healed properly where she could enjoy the intimacy and the passion to the fullest, rather than merely get through it.

He looked to his side, where Petra was still curled around him even now in a peaceful slumber, and he debated just how long he could get away with laying there and enjoying her closeness. A few minutes passed by, Levi watching her and enjoying her warm against him, and eventually he gave her arm a nudge because some nagging part of him seemed to feel unworthy of such a thing, that waking up to a beautiful woman cradled so trustingly against him was something he had invalidated himself from with his past and misdeeds, and he found himself forcing the moment to an imediate end.

"Oi, Petra. Up. You're drooling on me."

"Nmh?" There was a questioning sort of mumble that came from Petra, and once her mind seemed to register his words, she was sitting up from the bed in alarm, and her eyes scanned him over in concern, because true to his words, there was a small circle of moisture from exactly where her head had been resting. "Oh gods, I'm…I'm terribly sorry Captain!"

Petra didn't seem to know what to do other than stare at him in wide eyed horror, which he supposed was understandable considering he was rather particular about cleanliness and this wasn't exactly something he enjoyed thinking about, feeling an unmistakable wet spot over the front of his shirt, but considering his own atrocities from the night previous, he supposed he owed her a little grace and decided against making her feel guilty about it.

He cleared his throat as he sat up more fully, anxious to get the day started because this oh so casual start to the morning, as though they did this every day, was admittedly confusing, and it seemed Petra thought so too. As he adjusted his position on the bed and tried to move the remaining blanket off him, Petra mumbled some sort of apology when the blanket got caught on her cast, and they both fumbled awkwardly in attempts to free her leg, their hands bumping into the others in the process of trying to fix it. They both jolted at the mirroring, unintentional contact, and they both simultaneously apologized, before once again, reaching toward her cast at the exact same time and bumping into each other just the same.

Gods, they were both at a loss, and it was obvious that neither of them knew what to do. Levi couldn't understand his own unease, because he had had multiple one-night stands that were much more casual and easy going in nature regarding the morning after, and the fact that he felt this uncertain, when nothing had even happened between them last night, was baffling.

Petra gave an awkward laugh, and she made a point of avoiding his gaze as a blush came to her face, "Sorry. Let me get this one Captain. I can't really do much for myself right now, but at least I can get my stupid foot unstuck."

Once she successfully freed her foot from where the fabric had gotten caught on the rough fabric of her cast, she cleared her throat, and it didn't escape his notice that she intentionally moved closer to the wall, pulling her feet up closer toward her body. As though her fumbling, stuttering words weren't enough, her body language was even louder still - she was extremely uncomfortable, as though she could just sense that something was off between them.

"So uh, Captain…" she asked nervously, "Um…How did you sleep last night? Have any good dreams or anything?"

Well. Now he was uncomfortable.

Regardless his now racing heart, he kept his expression even and managed to respond casually. He shook his head and watched her flatly, "Not really. You?"

She gave a sort of laugh and shrugged, "I think so? I've noticed that my medicine gives me really weird fever dreams – you know, the kind where animals talk, you have a third row of teeth and no one seems to ask why? Yeah, well, I'll spare you the details, but I think I was on a mission from Hanji to find her missing cousin, who turned out to be a royal dragon or whatever? It all made sense five minutes ago, but it's getting a bit hazy now that I'm awake. Super weird."

When Levi stared at her in obvious concern and undisguised confusion for a long moment, as though to say that he had never had a dream like that before, Petra deadpanned at his cool, aristocratic sort of attitude, "Oh no, do not be that guy right now Levi. Come on, seriously? You've never had a really crazy dream like that before? You're staring at me like I've lost my mind!"

He gave a pointed shrug and exhaled in a sort of snort, "Hey, you're the one dreaming about royal dragon hybrids, not me so-"

Petra merely groaned dramatically, and Levi quirked an eyebrow in challenge at her disbelieving stare, "Oh right. And I suppose someone like you only dreams of, what, killing Titans all day?"

At her question, the irony of the words spoken by the same woman that had paid his dreams a rather personal and intimate visit just the night before, Levi shook his head softly, watching her with a rather captivating stare that made his blue eyes shine with unspoken resolve, "Believe me Petra, that's not all I dream of."

Her expression fell into a notable sort of confusion, because it was obvious there was more to his words than a mere response to her question, but before Petra had the opportunity to question him on what he had meant, Levi moved his feet off the side of the bed and stole a glance toward her in sudden resolve, "Alright, wanna get up? If you can move and get started on getting dressed for the day, I can make the bed. When I'm done with that, if you need any help…?" he nodded down toward her chest intentionally and Petra blinked at the sudden change in conversation, but gave a simple nod in return, seeming to accept that they wouldn't be lingering on his strange answer, nor the rather odd and unsettling start to their morning that made her head spin with sudden questions.

Levi hadn't said anything about it, but Petra remembered his voice waking her just a few moments ago, and remembered that when she woke up, it wasn't in the same spot she had fallen asleep in – near the wall and a comfortable distance away from Levi, underneath her own individual blankets so she wouldn't be stealing his by mistake. No, when she had awoken, she realized that based off their positions, she had migrated over to him, where she was sleeping right next to him, against him, under what had once been his blankets, and going as far as to have both her arm and head resting against his chest with a brazen confidence that she certainly didn't have in the day.

That was… more than either of them had bargained for, and when Levi had woken her up, it was more than just his accusation that had caused her to rise in sheer alarm.

She wasn't sure how he felt about it – if her being so close to him had bothered him or made him uncomfortable or not – and some part of her found that while she was perhaps curious as to his thoughts, she found that above all she simply didn't want to know the answer, because not knowing was easier. Be it cowardly, or perhaps a bit of denial, she found she didn't want to even entertain the thought, nor the spark of hope that was growing within her.

Hope for what exactly - even now, she wasn't sure.

As Petra began to scoot off the bed, her thoughts slowing her actions considerably, she decided it was best to not force that conversation to come about and let things fall where they may. After all, they both had responsibilities to see to, and neither of them needed the extra hassle of sorting through what it all had meant, or if it had even meant anything at all.

More than likely, she really was just overthinking it, as she tended to do from time to time. When it came down to it, she had been the one to insist he sleep on the bed, for reasons that were completely unrelated to their relationship, and Levi had eventually agreed, for reasons also unrelated to their relationship. To now try and mentally pick the night apart for hidden meanings and what ifs, seemed almost unfair, and if it hadn't been for the fact that Levi was a mere foot away from her, she may have outright laughed at the conflicted thoughts that plagued her mind because she was clearly grasping at straws.

Factually speaking, there was no reason for her heart to be pounding so fiercely in her chest, like it was doing now. There was no need for the fierce blush she could feel rising to her face, as she wondered just how long she had been pressed up against him like that – debating with herself why, if it was all just so unrelated to their relationship, he hadn't pushed her away in the night, as though he had wanted her there, perhaps?

No, she was just jumping to conclusions and trying to find meaning or symbolism where there wasn't, because Levi would have told her otherwise, right? There was no need for her mind to curiously try to gauge what his cryptic words had meant a mere moment ago, why he was watching her with that strange expression even now that almost seemed to ask what she was thinking, because he too was curious about her thoughts on the matter.

Levi watched her as she stood from the bed, holding out his arm quietly as she stood, and Petra gave a gentle shake of her head because with the help of the furniture, she could move around her room decently enough, and she was very adamant about using whatever bit of mobility she had left.

Petra carefully stood up from her bed, under Levi's watchful eye, and he watched her in a sort of tense waiting as she began to move toward her closet, as though he was expecting for something to go wrong and ready to catch her at a moment's notice. She used the wooden railing of the bed and then her dresser to move around toward her closet, and she eventually made her way into the small room successfully. While he was grateful she didn't have any issues navigating the few feet on her own, he wasn't prepared for the mental onslaught that came in the next moment, because just like that, Petra began pulling her shirt off from around her, not even bothering to close the closet door first. Granted it was only her back that was exposed considering she was facing away from him, but even still!

Levi blinked in sudden surprise at watching the smooth action, and he quickly turned his attention toward the bed with a snap of his body, intentionally focusing on getting the sheets laid pristinely over the corners of the mattress and the blankets aligned neatly on top of them and certainly not on the sound of the shifting fabric that was so steadily coming from behind him even now, his mind already racing with questions because…because what the hell was she up to, disrobing so flippantly without even bothering to check if he were watching or not!

He wasn't sure if he wanted to ignore it, or call her out on it, or lecture her, or what, thank her?

He was moving the pillows at the head of the bed in an irritated frenzy, setting them in a line neatly at the fold of the top sheet as he spoke, his voice somewhat clipped from her unintentionally toying with him like this, "Oi, let me know when you're ready."

A few more moments of shuffling could be heard, and finally Petra responded from her closet with a sort of groan, "Thanks. I was hoping that maybe I'd be able to do it myself but my side is still pretty tight so-"

Levi stood up sharply from where he was over the bed, turning over his shoulder and groaning as he saw Petra's bare back, and the yards of fabric splayed around her across the ground, as though she actually had tried to wind the fabric band around herself without assistance.

"Fuck, don't be so damned stubborn Petra, it's not a big deal so don't burst your damn stitches for something like this!" He made his way into her closet in continued frustration, his voice reflecting his heightened irritation as he spoke, and he grabbed the fabric from off the ground and placed the end over her ribs as she had shown him just yesterday. She was staring ahead, but none the less he gave her a dirty glare, hoping she could feel the outright displeasure radiating off from him, "You aren't made of steel, woman. I thought this accident would have proven at least that much to you. If you're worried about troubling me, don't. You're not a burden, Petra. I don't want to see you getting hurt anymore, so that's why I'm here in the first place. Just…fucking just trust me a little more, okay? I am your husband after all, so…"

It was as he spoke his words of correction that his eyes landed on a small pile of laundry near her, recognizing her shirt from the night previous, her pajama pants, and somewhere in the bundle of clothes was a simple pair of panties. That detail spoke to him, more than anything else had throughout the entirety of their interaction, because he realized suddenly that that had meant Petra had, while he was in the room, with the door wide open no less, stripped down to absolutely nothing.

Worse still, he knew full well it wasn't an invitation, no, he was certain Petra would have attempted to murder him if he had taken a peak at her while she was undressing. No, it was because shetrusted him that she had done such a thing at all, and Levi found himself falling bitterly silent, suddenly rather conflicted and not surprisingly, frustrated in more ways than one.

If that's how comfortable Petra felt around him, unintentionally taunting him and being so available yet still so out of reach….

Levi swore his eye twitched and he glared at her outright.

"Are you - you seriously – do you actually think that I'm so disciplined that- Petra, just who the hell do you take me for?" He pressed his lips together and gave an irritated huff, rubbing his temples with his free hand as he growled in defeat, "I take it back. Fuck. Less, Petra - trust me less! Gods, the fuck is wrong with you?!"

…

…

They had started their purposeful training in the morning, giving him a few undocumented laps to 'warm up' and 'just get back into the swing of things', and Levi learned firsthand that in the event Petra ever did become some variance of a Commanding Officer, assuming that was the route she even wanted to go, he almost pitied her future subordinates, because she was surprisingly strict.

They had gone about the morning the same way they had yesterday; Levi completing a lap, Petra and Hanji recording the numbers diligently, except this time, they would actually give him lap for lap feedback then and there. Half the things they told him about his numbers made no damn sense to him, and so at the table he'd nod politely, but then back in the air he would just try to do what felt best, confident in his ability to produce results the same way he always had before. His numbers were still top notch at every turn, and for the life of him, he couldn't understand why Petra seemed increasingly frustrated with him.

At one point when he had landed after a completed lap around that same obstacle course that had been created just yesterday for him, Petra had been waiting for him at the nearby table with a scowl on her face and pen in hand, and had demanded to know – in her words – what the hell he was even doing up in the air, because she knew full well he had more to give because she had the data to prove it, and if he was trying to make her look bad, he was more than succeeding because he was putting himself, the Scouts, and her data specifically, to shame and if this was the performance she could expect, she may as well have just stayed in bed because this was a waste of her time.

Her words had surprised him, greatly, and she hadn't stopped there, oh no. He had gotten quite an earful because she had had it up to here with his laziness.

She was working through the pain of broken bones, stitches, the side effects of her medication, because she was taking her job seriously, but apparently he wasn't, because they had already discussed how to keep his efficiencies up and his gas usage low, but she must have made some sort of mistake because his numbers looked the exact damn same to her and it just didn't make any sense because surely Humanity's Strongest was not wasting her time and half assing the material, right?

With crossed arms and a popped hip, she fixed him with a scathing glare and huffed because, what, was she speaking a different language or something? Was there something she had said that made him not understand what to do? Had she not mapped out perfectly what actions were required to get the projected results? So what was the problem then? Was it her? Because if so, she would love to hear what it would take for him to actually take his job seriously, because thus far his results were lack luster at best and she was very displeased with him.

At her outright chewing him out with absolutely no regard for their differences in rank, Levi had been so stupefied that he could only blink and gape like a complete idiot, all while trying to get out even a single word between her sarcastic, demeaning questions, because he had no idea what was happening as it had been years since anyone dared to speak to him so boldly and outright chastise him for his performance.

He was always a top performer.

Always.

It baffled him that Petra wasn't satisfied. The numbers lined up in a way that confirmed he was preforming the same as yesterday, and that was apparently…bad? He himself didn't think his numbers had been something to scoff at, no, he knew they weren't – he was Humanity's Strongest for Maria's sake! - and yet Petra seemed to think otherwise and reminded him almost of Erwin with her unimpressed demands, as though seeing some far off goal that was simply beyond him and holding him to a ridiculously high standard as a result.

At first when she began her sudden scathing speech, he had wondered if she was just being aggressive simply because she could be; intentionally having a bit of fun at his expense now that she was in a position where she could command him around, but once a slight smirk came to his face as though silently saying 'Really, Petra?' it quickly came to his realization that she wasn't being difficult for mere show - no, there was no part of her that found any of this amusing and her reaction to his smug response had proved it.

As it turned out, all too late he realized that she was legitimately frustrated with him. Her mouth had dropped open, and she made a point to remind him that months of her time had been wrapped up in these numbers, and now that they were down to the wire, these results could very well mean life or death for multiple impacted squads, and he was fucking laughing about it? Was something funny to him; some joke that he felt the need to share with her, now of all times? No? So apparently, he was happy to be standing in the way of the proof she needed so badly, he was happy to send Scouts off to their graves, and if that was how it was, then 'so help me Captain' come the time that they had to knock on the doors of the deceased's surviving family after wasting all her time and having nothing to show for it, she would personally ensure that he himself apologized to each and every single one of them!

At the end of her fury driven tirade, Petra tapped on her clipboard with her nails in a drum of irritation and watched him with narrowed eyes, asking him indignantly if he was just going to stand there gaping, or if she needed to explain it all again because apparently her first explanation hadn't been good enough, so perhaps she needed to break it down for him even further. Was that what he was saying to her? Because it sounded like that's what he was saying to her.

Levi found himself clearing his throat, and almost fearfully responding with a mix of words that came out in a jumbled stutter, "Uh, no, no ma'am" because with the look she watched him with, he was indeed more than thrown off by her threatening demeanor and did not want to find out what would happen if he pushed her even further with his, apparently, subpar results.

She had given a firm nod and exhaled as though merely placated by his confirmation, before scratching more numbers in her clip board and giving a curt, "Well? Get moving Captain. Show me some damned results already!"

As he walked back toward the supply tanks, still wondering what the hell was happening as he switched his gear and prepared for yet another lap, he found himself stealing a glance over his shoulder and shaking his head in wonder. Petra was huddled over the table, one hand over her forehead as she stared into her folder narrowly, Hanji coming up and placing a hand on her shoulder as they discussed who knows what, and Petra shrugged out of her hold, giving an exasperated sort of shrug as she held up the folder and discussed the matter further in some heated debate with the concerned Scientist.

Levi watched her still for an extended moment as his gas tanks were exchanged and fitted for his next go around, not paying much attention to the attendant as they fitted the equipment around him, his gaze merely settled on the woman that took her job so seriously that at times it put even him to shame.

The attendant gave a sudden laugh, "The Mrs. gave you a proper chewing out, did she?" the man gave him a slap on the back and continued, "Gotta say, your wife over there is as fiery as they come, Captain. I'm not sure there are many in the regiment that would dare get in your face like she did, though I guess it would take a strong woman to stand side by side in arms with someone like you. Don't take this the wrong way Captain, but your wife, well, the Scout's are lucky to have her, and so are you. She's quite the woman."

Levi found he couldn't tear his eyes away from his flustered subordinate, her frustrated words still ringing in his ear, and he simply gave a subtle nod, all but whispering to himself at the man's well worded observation, "Yeah. Yeah she is."

…

…

The first few hours of his training hadn't seemed to go well, if Petra's less than amicable mood had meant anything.

Still though, he had to hand it to her, because after her scathing words and pinpointed confrontation, she certainly had his attention. From then on, Levi had tried to focus less on his own gut instincts and rather on the specific instructions that Petra had been giving him with in regards towards her collected data. He wasn't sure what differences she was really thinking she'd actually see, or if changing this or that really would keep his efficiencies up while keeping his gas usage even lower than yesterday, but he supposed that wasn't his problem. After a dressing down like that, he would do it her way, all the way, and when it all went to hell, he had bitterly decided that that would be her problem and he would refuse to get involved any further.

Regardless his admitted skepticism, it had taken a few laps of refocusing his efforts and trying to gauge how to turn her advice into physical alterations, but as he checked in with the table below after each completed lap for any further feedback, Petra's previous anger had morphed into a studious sort of puzzlement.

To his amazement, just like that, his numbers began changing. Subtle changes, granted, but changes none the less.

Once his numbers began to alter, as Levi heeded her words and advice more keenly, Petra was more helpful and understanding, proactively looking for ways to fix the numbers further rather than jump to outright attacking him with her words again. He would stop by the table, breathless and exhausted at the completion of a lap, and Petra would nod and pat the bench beside her, so he could sit down as she gave him tailored feedback – try letting off the gas here and coasting, adjust your angle to a sharper degree and you'll pick up speed – and they continued to make subtle adjustments at every turn.

They had remained focused and driven until sometime later, Petra confirmed that for both their sakes, Levi's and her own, it was time they take a break because with the medicine officially clouding her mind, it was getting hard for her to focus, and he was clearly exhausted. He hadn't tried to act otherwise or deny her claims, because it was obvious that her words were true, and with a grateful nod, he had dropped off his gas tanks and blades and moved to Petra's side near the table so he could take her back with him.

They were walking to the compound and Petra continued to babble about the results thus far, Hanji's thoughts, ideas they had brainstormed for the last half of the day - generally speaking her thoughts out loud as a way to organize them, more than actually conversing with him, and Levi felt a conflicted expression pull across his face as thoughts of his own muddied the waters of his mind.

Seeing the less than thrilled expression he suddenly wore and believing it to be in response to some of her listed theories, Petra gave a sigh and looked up toward him with a passing glance between her ever-growing pages of data.

"Ah, I'll take that as a no from you then." she mumbled out with a laugh, still looking over numbers to the best of her ability from within the rather limited space between their bodies as he was carrying her yet again, "But for real, you really don't think that would work? Not even worth a single lap for grins and giggles? Maybe if we instead-"

Levi cleared his throat and shook his head as he allowed his gaze to fall onto hers, "No, sorry it wasn't that. It was…something else I was thinking about."

"Something else?" Petra asked with a surprised expression, bringing the folder in her hands to a close and looking up toward him in concern, "Is everything okay? I'll warn you now, you know it's that time of day where my heads a little spacey, and I know I'm sort of rambling and I don't know when to shut up because being around you makes my head all blurry because it's you and, well, you know how gorgeous you are, but if there's something that you need to say then just-"

He ignored her rambling and cut her off with a pensive, slow shake of his head because he had much deeper matters on the mind than Petra hitting on him once again. "Petra, you're looking at numbers, just numbers on a page, and yet you're successfully using it to alter real life performance on a consistent basis. Between today and yesterday, there's undeniable improvement in the exact variables you were testing, and that's with someone like me, in areas where I would have thought that I was already as close to efficient as I could have possibly been. Have you realized that? Even with someone of my skill level, you're still seeing results where I assumed there could be none. That's impressive, and being the test subject in question, without even looking at the numbers I can tell you firsthand that it's not a fluke. You really, truly are on to something here."

Petra remained silent as she watched him curiously, as though not certain where he was going with his words, because his words were that of praise, yet his tone and expression confirmed that something was not quite right, as though the fact that she had proven him wrong to some extent had worried him.

The Captain continued, "You've been doing the same thing with the squad for some time now - using the data that we track each week to highlight areas for improvement; able to point out both the cause and the solution with a mere passing glance at the charts. We both know it's not mere coincidence, you know how to look at data and transpose it into real life situations to get the desired results. But that's not all. You do all of this while still - for the most part at least – being a top performer on my squad in terms of speed, stamina, and sheer instinct. You use your body as a weapon on the battlefield, and even when you're off it and we're months away from an Expedition, now you have a sharp formidable mind that is comparable to that of Erwin and Hanji."

When Petra merely bit her lip and watched him almost meekly, embarrassed by his recollection of her evolving role in the Scouts, Levi looked down at the woman in his arms in practical disbelief, "Petra, that's quite a skillset."

It seemed to take Petra a moment to come to terms with all he had said, and she gave a slow, hesitant nod at his rather intense stare, "Well, yes. I suppose that is true. But truly Captain, there's a lot of variables in and of itself to consider, and you can't forget that it's up to the person to make those adjustments, and that's really the most important variable because numbers are just numbers if they don't lead to change. All I really do is just point out the data and explain how to impact and target that number going forward so-"

Levi looked at the path ahead, an almost irritated expression across his face as he spoke over her, because she was missing the point in her dismissive humility, not at all seeing the larger problem at hand. "Exactly. Petra, how is it that I've been your Captain for over five years now, and I never once realized you had these skills? You've been learning data and backend documentation for just shy of, what, four months, five perhaps – and you're already keeping up with Erwin and Hanji and…fuck, you really don't see it, do you?"

He shook his head with a far off expression, and he exhaled lowly, "Earlier today when you were coaching me, I was getting frustrated because I thought you were wasting your time and trying to pull results out of thin air to placate your need for success. It's not that I don't think you're intelligent, but I really didn't know what to expect in terms of change because I really thought that perhaps you were just going through the motions, considering both Hanji and Erwin seemed optimistic and gave you false hope so you wanted to show them that you at least gave it all an honest effort. And yet here we are now, where the numbers alone are one thing, but what's more, I could just tell; I could feel it when I was up there. The way you said to do things were legitimately working and when I realized that you knew more about it all than I did, that you were the one coaching me…"

Levi trailed off, and Petra somewhat adjusted herself in his arms, giving him a questioning stare as she spoke hesitantly, "Is that what this is all about, the fact that even someone like you has areas that can be improved upon? Captain, I know you aren't one for arrogance or pride, and I know you don't mean it to come off like that, but for the record, of course you aren't perfect. Everyone has areas that can be improved upon, everyone, Captain. I was giving you a hard time earlier because I knew you were holding back, and when this many lives are on the line, we can't afford for you to be modest with your abilities. It's just…the fact that the numbers proved you have areas to work on, I hope you don't feel like, I don't know, that you've failed in your role as a Scout or something because that wasn't what-"

Levi stopped walking then, and he looked down at her seriously, fixing her with a direct stare that caused the breath to catch in her lungs, because it was clear that she still wasn't getting it, and he watched her incredulously, internal conflict clear in his gaze as he tried to verbalize his musings, "I don't feel that I've failed as a Scout, I feel that I've failed as your Captain - failed you specifically. I've been building up your body, sure, but that's only one half of your skillset and the other half has been laying untouched and dormant for the entire history of your being on my squad because I wasn't paying close enough attention."

Petra opened her mouth, but Levi shook his head, because he knew he wasn't being modest or searching for compliments – no, he could see it all so clearly and she needed to understand that he had truly failed her, "Petra, listen to me. I should have seen it because the hints have been there, for years, and looking back it's a wonder that I didn't notice because it was staring me straight in the face from day one; the fact you were always so driven by your own recorded numbers, the way you can point out flaws in a formation and give a solution to almost any tactical problem we face - it's been five months since you've delved into a position of being surrounded by data and you're already working with Erwin; imagine where you'd be now after five years, if I had just-"

"Oh, so you want to know where I'd be? That's easy enough to figure out; I'd be home, Levi." Petra cut him off squarely with a perturbed glare of sudden accusation, "If you had done anything differently, put me in research, grew my career or tried to align me under Erwin or Hanji, if you did anything other than what's led us up to this very moment, I'd be discharged and at home with my dad, probably bussing tables or quilting of all things. Is that what you want for me? Is that what you're saying?"

Levi groaned, "No Petra, I don't mean that. It's just-"

"Alright Levi, so just stop already." she interjected yet again, her medicine seeming to give her a rather audacious sense of confidence, because the normal Petra would have at least let him finish speaking before she corrected him like this, "Look, I'm really sorry Captain; I get that you're trying to have a moment or whatever and are trying to convince me that you're the absolute worst, but I won't hear a word of it because you've done everything for me; you've changed my life in the best of ways and hearing you regret it or second guess yourself just ticks me off because I'm very proud of where I am right now and I don't need you taking that away from me by wondering where I'd be if I hadn't gotten a 'late start' or whatever."

He blinked at her curt explanation that seemed to lessen her achievements, and he shook his head, "Oh well, I wasn't meaning that-"

"I know," she conceded stubbornly, "And that's why I stopped you from being an idiot. Don't beat yourself up Captain. I didn't know I had these types of skills either, so you can't blame yourself for any of it. Whether there were hints or whatever traits existed that you feel you should have noticed or acted upon, what's done is done and it's for the best because I love you, you know, being my Captain, being on your squad, being the guy I work with and report under; I just love all of it."

Levi wasn't sure if she had heard her words, if she was at all aware of what she had said, aware that it had come very close to sounding like she was saying something else entirely, but before he could respond one way or another, Petra brought a hand up to the side of his face, running her hand down his jaw as she shook her head in wonder, "Gods, you're so handsome Levi. Damn, I just can't stop looking at you. When we get back to my room, you wanna make out?"

His mouth fell open at the sudden change of conversation, the outright boldness of her request, though all at once the stress, the guilt, the anxiety of what was to come, of what was only a matter of time, left him in an exhale because…only Petra.

"Yeah." He responded evenly, not bothering to put up pretenses of his own and just accepting her offer flat out, "Yeah, I kinda do."

…

…

Well look at that, an absolute buffet of material to sort though.

This chapter is like four little chapters in one – all too short to make their own chapter, yet equally important because they all have their own important themes and revelations. Especially that last one.

Yall know I like my long author's notes, and I was thinking that when this story is over, I will plan on having one more update exclusively over things that I couldn't really comment on the first run around – symbolisms, foreshadowing, maybe answer any questions yall have, that sort of thing. It's not like there are any 'secrets' here that I can't talk about now, but one day I'll come back to chapters like this and give a little bit more dialogue from my perspective, because man on man, this one's important and I look forward to shedding more light on subjects when the full plot is laid out once and for all.

For now though, I'll sign off. You are all so very appreciated in my writing journey! Thanks for being here and growing with me, after a full year of updates and writing and craziness :)

~Mid