"Falcon, I swear if you ask me out one more time, I'm going to shoot you."
Samus's annoyed voice carried from the dining room to the kitchen, where Ness was cooking lunch. He listened to the ongoing conversation while flipping grilled cheese with a spatula and his telekinesis (this was the only thing the psychic could safely cook without burning, and he had grown quite skilled at flipping multiple sandwiches at once this way). The racer, since seeing Samus without her helmet, had become quite smitten with the bounty hunter, much to her dismay. This current proposal was the 11th one that week.
"Come on, Sammy! It's Valentine's Day tomorrow!" Falcon pleaded. His voice changed to a more suave tone. "Besides, we'd make a great couple. Two gorgeous bounty hunters like us... a perfect match! Just picture it! I'll take you out to the best restaurant in town, and we'll- oof!"
Ness snickered as he heard Falcon's sudden cry of pain. He was almost certain Samus had kicked him in the shins, or perhaps the groin. This was gaining to be quite amusing.
"One - Don't call me Sammy. Two - No. Means. No." Samus said in a dry voice. "Now sit down and quit being stupid."
"You're even prettier when you're angry, you know." Falcon said, wheezing between each word. Definitely a groin kick, Ness decided as he listened to the pained sentence.
"Why are you rejecting me? Don't tell me you already have a date!' Falcon said, a slight whine in his tone. Ness gathered up the sandwiches onto a platter, tossing the spatula into the sink haphazardly. He scooped up the tray and started for the dining room door when he heard Samus's tart reply.
"As a matter of fact, I do."
There was a shattering sound as glass hit the floor, evidently from Falcon dropping his water glass. "WHAT?!" The racer almost screamed. Even the others in the room muttered in surprise. Samus was a good looking woman, no doubt, but the Smashers didn't really see her as the type to have a boyfriend.
"And he's much more civilized than you." Samus muttered. Falcon slammed his hands on the table.
"Who is it?! They must be something special if you're taking them on a date!" He yelled, obviously befuddled from this shocking revelation.
"Ness." Samus replied curtly. This time, both Ness and Falcon yelled out, "WHAT?!", Ness even dropping the platter. He quickly recovered it, however, before it hit the floor.
Falcon dashed over and shook Ness's shoulders. "How did you do it?! How did you snag someone like her?!"
Ness shot Samus a panicked look. She leaned forward and mouthed, "I'll explain later," before pulling Falcon off of him. "Now Falcon, jealousy isn't good on someone like you." She said with a smirk. "Now how about we eat?"
Falcon glared daggers at him the whole meal.
"So we're going on a date." Ness said, shaking his head in bewilderment. It was after lunch, and the duo sat in Samus's room later that afternoon. "But we can't. You're older than me, I only like you as a friend, and I already have a girlfriend!" Ness's face heated up as he thought of Paula. He wasn't sure if they were dating truly - or if they even should call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. All he knew is they both liked each other a lot and calling her his girlfriend felt good.
"I know." Samus sighed, leaning back against her bed with a slump. "I don't like you like that either. That'd just be creepy. But I was desperate for him to stop hitting on me, and I just said the first person that came to mind. I'm sorry. But I guess we can hardly back out now, can we?"
"No," Ness sighed. "I guess not. The ruse is already in place. So I guess we'll do it - a platonic date. I mean, at least it's messing with Falcon." He began to pace the parameters of the room. "But if we're doing this, we need to go all out in messing with him."
Samus, nodded, on board with the plan. "What are you thinking?"
"Suit and a dress." Ness said.
"Do you even own a suit?" Samus said, raising an eyebrow.
"Do you even own a dress?" Ness countered evenly, smirking. "And yes. I own a suit."
"Fair point." Samus conceded. "And yes, I own a dress. I guess we can actually go out to a restaurant or something if we're actually doing this." She grinned, stretching out against her pillow. "The look on Falcon's face is going to be priceless."
"The look on everyone's faces." Ness corrected. He gave a snort. "Did you see Mario's jaw drop at lunch? It was hilarious!"
"True." She agreed with a chuckle. "Oh, this'll be interesting..."
Ness, as strange as it sounded, felt naked without his signature cap. The teen was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, desperately trying to tame his messy raven-black hair. A deviant strand would not stop popping up and falling over his left eye. "This is why I wear a hat." He muttered to himself, giving up the battle and tossing down his comb.
Staring at his reflection, Ness had to admit he liked what he saw. His violet eyes complimented the tie he wore, which was pale blue. The suit was dark black, and the dress shirt underneath was royal blue. If only it wasn't so hot and itchy.
Stepping out of the bathroom, he went downstairs to wait. After a moment, Samus appeared. Her hair was down and curled slightly at the ends, and she wore a deep magenta dress. She walked effortlessly in high heels, and despite not putting on any makeup, her face was beautifully defined. Ness could see Falcon oogling at her from the living room out of the corner of his eye. The racer had been surly and bitter since yesterday.
"Ready to go? I got Master Hand's approval already." She asked. It took Ness a moment to regain his composure.
"Right. Let's head out." He managed.
"...Did you see the look on his face?" Samus laughed as they were seated at the table in the restaurant some hour and thirty minutes later. The duo was almost finished with their meal, and had been talking about both the prank and the tournament.
"Only barely. He could barely keep his jaw from dropping!" Ness said with a smile. The two were at a fancy restaurant in town. Ness couldn't even pronounce the name of it. As they were both Smashers, they were being treated like celebrities. The food was delicious, and the lighting dim, as it came from candlelight, making the whole scene have an air of romance for the many couples gathered there.
"Thanks for agreeing to this." Samus said, sipping from her water glass. "I don't know why Falcon doesn't understand that I don't want to date him."
"I really do think he likes you." Ness said, surprising even himself, though he knew it to be the truth deep down. "He might express it in the most idiotic way possible, but I think he does. And I guess you could do worse. When he's not being a jerk, Falcon's alright. Maybe he just needs some encouragement."
Samus sighed and shook her head as she picked up a piece of bread. "You could be right...but I'm not dating him any time soon. He'd have to prove quite a lot for that to happen." She glanced up at Ness. "What about you? Tell me about your girlfriend. You said you had one."
The psychic flushed crimson. "Well, uh, it's complicated. I don't know if we're really together or not. We both like each other, and..." He sighed and took a deep breath. "Paula is the most wonderful girl in the world. She's so sweet and strong, and has the most gorgeous eyes... they're a deep, deep blue. Her hair is gold and she wears it long..." A dreamy expression settled on his face. "She's really smart and kind, and would do anything for her friends. She's a bit of a pyromaniac..." He trailed off before speaking again. "I think I'm in love with her."
Samus had listened to his rambling with a small smile on her face. "Ness, whoever this Paula girl is, you're over the moon about her." She said. "It's clear you care about her. If you really feel this way, talk to her. You both feel this way, don't you? It seems to me like you should be together."
"...Thanks, Samus." Ness said softly.
The blonde stood up. "Shall we go? We've finished our food."
After paying, the two left the restaurant and walked through the town, shivering in the frigid February air. They were almost to the bus stop when Samus stopped and pointed.
"Look!" She said quietly. Near the crest of a hill, Kirby and Jigglypuff were holding stubby hands.
"Now that's a cute couple." The psychic said with a grin.
"Heh...guess we'll have to go back home now and tell Falcon it was just a joke before he tries to drown his sorrows away or something." Samus shook her head good naturedly as they waited for the bus. "This was still pretty fun, though."
"It was." Ness said with a smile. "Friendly love is a good thing to celebrate."
*collapses*
There! I got the chapter out before the 14th!
I like this chapter a lot! I thought it would be a fun concept to explore. My brother is a huge Falcon/Samus fan and desperately wants them together, so perhaps someday...maybe not in this fic, but I already have a sequel planned once it's finished...
I love Ness/Paula, if you couldn't tell. Also, the headcanon that Ness has violet eyes is something I've loved for a long time.
(I swear I'll make chapters longer soon, by the way!)
Thank you to my faithful reviewers! I love you guys, and everyone who follows and favorites too!
-EBC