AN: Just a heads up, even though this story is T rated, this one gets a little hot under the collar but nothing explicit.

A House Divided…Then United

It was upon a late afternoon during a warm spring day that the Spice and Wolf Inn and Bathhouse had met it's first predicament. But the ledgers were not wanting nor was the housekeeping in disarray, quite the contrary; in fact profit filled the margins and the decor was neatly kept.

All things material were in accordance, it was the host and hostess who were in violation of the picturesque atmosphere they strived to prevail.

Placed at the dinner table, at the opposing ends were Holo and Lawrence with their backs turned upon each other, arms folded and eyes firmly shut. Between them was the adolescent Tote Col who had his head despairingly held within his hands. Standing behind him was their cook Hanna who firmly folded her arms with a ladle in her hand.

Hanna's eyes moved to the man on the one end, then over to the wolf girl on the other and beheld them both to have sustained their positions afore described. Col lifted his head and asked cautiously, "Umm, I'm sorry, but can we eat?"

"Col,' said Holo with her chin defiantly lifted up, 'tell that fool on the other end that there will be no food served until he apologizes!"

"Col.' said Lawrence, 'Tell the stubborn mule making those noises, that I have nothing to apologize for and will only proceed when she is the one who apologizes!"

There was a brief pause, Col then turned to Holo, gulped with anxiety and said, "Lawrence said…"

"Tell him my ears work just fine!" said the she wolf whose ire was filling to the sky's limit.

"Master Lawrence,' resumed Col as a sailor caught between the roaring forecast and raging waters, "Mrs. Holo said…"

"I heard!" pronounced Lawrence who launched himself from off his chair as if moved by a spring.. Holo, under the same possession, impulsively planted both her feet and extracted herself by the same means. Both lovers, whose tempers allowed the clouds of ill fortune to adorn their heads quitted the dinette in tandem with equal aversion. The door to the kitchen could be heard slamming shut shortly followed by a second bespeaking the upstairs office.

This left only Col, who was unjustly recruited during the whole affair, and Hanna, who during that time refrained from speaking the words ascribed on her heart. Regardless of how each player handled their role during the hostile exchange the still pain hungered Col confessed with regret, "I'm still hungry."

His trespass called for a lesson the cook willingly taught against his skull with the ladle.

"Master Col!' said she, 'the hearts of a family take precedence above our bellies and the former cannot be nurtured with food."

Rubbing his head where the ladle frizzled his hair, the rascal said, "And what are we supposed to do about the latter?"

Hanna recomposed herself and replied, "We must get them to make amends."

"How are we to do that?" he murmured.

She pointed towards the stairs with her right index finger, "They have taken a liking to having you as their envoy. Now you must arbitrate on their behalf."

Resigning his head upon the table the young man groaned, "Do I really have to?" said he who so desperately wanted to stand clear of the fray these lovers concocted between themselves.

"If you want dinner then yes." resumed the maiden.

With the typical begrudging attitude infecting all adolescents, Col erected himself with disdain to the task he was about to commit and headed towards the bathhouse were Holo had removed herself to. He found her sitting on the ledge with her skirt elevated, legs soaking up to the knees, head on her hand and sourly disposed.

"Mrs. Holo.' addressed Col, 'Are you sure you and Master Lawrence wish to end the evening without dinner? It is unlike you." he said with a clear interest to his own appetite ejecting from his tone.

She kept her eyes shut but pressed her chin deeper into her palm, "Tell that fool I married that there shan't be a morsel spread until he apologizes!"

Finding all tranquility had far departed her, the young man departed and made the climb up the flight of stairs to where Lawrence could be found occupying the master bedroom. When the door unhinged, the master of the inn sharply guided his face towards it, hoping it would be Holo yet expecting anyone but.

Stifled nonetheless, he said with a tone of frustration he took no care to conceal, "What is it Col?"

Being obedient to Hanna's instructions while also entertaining the complaints of his stomach the boy informed all too rashly, "Holo wants an apology."

A sting shot through his chest as Lawrence said abruptly, "Tell that stubborn mule who is my wife, that she should apologize first!"

Feeling the justice of regret, Col, even more discouraged, took himself on the pilgrimage back down stairs. As he was passing through he, upon concurring the kitchen to be empty, detoured within its confines to quickly rummage the pantry for whatever paltry sustenance he could steal away. He found a stale half loaf of left over bread and a slab of goat cheese which he intended to acquaint his appetite with if not for a ladle striking his ear.

"Ow! No!" he stammered while backing away with his palm pressed to his ear which now stung and emitted a high tune.

"Not so fast." came the rebuke of Hanna who came to avenge her victuals.

"Please Mrs. Hanna!" pled the insatiable youth.

"Not until they have made amends." she reiterated.

"They will not even see each other!" he moaned with a drone as if all hope was lost.

Hanna gave off an eerie smirk as if to challenge his wit in this hour of desperation, "I am sure you will figure something out."

That is when an idea struck his brain causing him to smile. He then relayed to her his idea and the role she was to fulfill in accomplishing it. Soon after, he put himself back into the bathhouse to find the fuming Holo exactly how she was last left. The steam of the hot spring had mellowed her mood slightly, and for Col, it was a welcome addition to her irate nature.

"Mrs Holo?" he addressed with an odd sentiment she noted but chose to ignore.

"Yes young one?" she replied as if he was the only soul she wanted to entertain.

His finger abdicated towards the kitchen, "Hanna would like some help."

Too frustrated to question the validity their most capable employee, Holo exerted a few aggressive mannerisms before arising and removing herself to the kitchen.

Upon entering, she found their cook sorting out the pantry then, upon acknowledging her entry, motioned to a collection of soiled dishes festering within the sink and said, "Mrs. Holo, forgive me but I cannot cook with the dirty dishes which I have neglected to tend to. If you could kindly sort those out while I concoct my ingredients it would be most helpful."

Holo huffed to herself, rolled up her sleeves and scrubbed away. Unbeknownst to her that Hanna, upon finding her occupied, slipped out undetected.

As quietly as a specter Hanna nodded to Col who was concealed near the stairwell who, once signaled, advanced up the steps towards Lawrence.

Just as Holo was described in the previous narrative, Lawrence was seen exactly as he was left; sitting before his paperwork.

The youth, whom both Holo and Lawrence regarded as a son, knocked and poked his head through the space he created between the door, "Master Lawrence, Mrs Hanna needs your help in the kitchen."

Heaving out a sigh, the lord of the inn inquired, "Is it something you can't handle?"

"Some of the food has gone bad due to her neglecting her duties and they must be thrown out. She must entrust you to calculate the damages to be taken out of her pay."

He shoved himself off from his desk and quickly marked the floor with his shoes and proceeded downstairs to the kitchen. It was to some dismay that he instead found the woman of whom he had quarreled with occupying the kitchen in Hanna's stead.

A stiff turn of Holo's head signified she perceived his arrival but intentionally ignored him. He peered into the pantry, observed it's vacancy and asked with a reluctance in his voice he wished his significant other to hear, "Where's Hanna?"

Holo shrugged and intensified her scrubbing, "I do not know, perhaps she fled when hearing you come down."

Upon entering the pantry he remarked, "Funny the same could be said for you."

She growled under her breathe, "Foolish male."

He was just within ear shot to catch it in which he returned with equal censure, "Stubborn mule."

Lawrence gave the food wares a quick but accurate inspection and paused when finding the calamity Col had described to be non existent. He further scavenged the shelves only to find everything in acceptable order.

"Holo!' he yelled then immediately lowered his voice, 'Did Hanna mention expired ingredients that needed to be replaced?"

"Why not ask her yourself?" she replied unready to be civil.

"I don't know where she is. Do you at least smell anything spoiling in the pantry."

"Not until you went in."

"Well,' he seethed blowing through the under arch of the frame, 'thanks for nothing!"

She threw her soapy hands up, casting glops of water and suds with them, "The pleasure is all mine!"

As he stepped away he noticed a lack cleanliness in the dishes she had tended to, "Why isn't Hanna doing the dishes?"

Becoming more frantically agitated with each moment cursed by his presence she erupted, "Because she needed help with them, I do not know! Why do you care anyway?!"

Lawerence stepped behind her while hitting his chest with his finger, "I care because I pay her to run the kitchen not you!"

She wheeled around to meet him, "Well then, you can fire her and pay me to do it!"

Lawrence gave a sarcastic laugh, "Oh no, I spend more than enough on you already!"

She inched up to him, "Or perhaps you do not budget very well!"

He moved his face closer to her's, "Sound criticism from a professional spender."

He then picked up a pot and presented to her a minuscule section of crust along the inner lip, "Besides I only pay for a job well done."

"Well seeing how I am not being paid at all to clean your dishes consider my labor a generous return on investment!" said Holo who crowded her face towards his.

"Lazy wolf!"

"Stupid human!"

"...!"

Just outside the kitchen, awaiting in the antechamber next door was Col who had been eavesdropping on the exchange and went to invade the kitchen when the stem of scornful tongues had ceased. He shadowed the door frame, "Mrs. Holo-ah!" What he was witnessing forced the exposure of his orbits.

The feuding man and his contentious wife had moved their faces so close to each other they were now engaged in the marital congress of passionate kissing! Except to Col their furious charade of expression looked more as if they were attempting to rip each other's hair out while trying to bite their mouthes off.

He watched in both terror and amazement until the hand of Hanna extended beyond the door frame, plucked his ear and pulled him behind the pavilion. After a bout of smacking and stifled breathing attempts the smooching couple broke free and gasped for air.

Looking at each other for a moment they proceeded to laugh together.

"I guess that's one way to apologize." said Lawrence.

Holo threw herself into his bosom invoking an embrace, "Oh Lawrence let us never argue again!"

Patting the top of her head while resting his chin upon it Lawrence said with love, "Holo, I'm sorry."

He felt her arms flex with affection then saw her face look up into his eyes and say, "Shall we start all this over?"

"Let's." he replied gently.

"Very well,' she said who went on to ask, "Lawrence what shall we have for dinner?"

"Hmmm,' he hummed, 'Whatever you'd like."

Holo pondered then, intoxicated by the mood, shifted her appetites, "I would much rather have you." then seductively put a finger on his chest.

He swooped her up in his arms and asked with a masculine grunt, "Would milady wish to have her meal in bed?"

Her tail began wagging with heavy whips, "With seconds and thirds!"

He walked her out the kitchen of which his pace gradually increased into a jog up the steps that ascended farther into the upper hall way and ended with a slamming and bolting of the master bedroom door.

Many moments of rigorous infatuation later both man and wife lay in bed together. Lawrence had one hand resting behind his head while the other rested around Holo who was rested against his chest. The window had been opened allowing the pallor of the moon to extend her rays beyond the frame and illuminate them who had only a blanket they shared to clothe themselves.

"Oh Lawrence!' exclaimed a very satisfied Holo, 'That was amazing!"

He squeezed her shoulder, "I know, wasn't I wonderful?"

She slapped his chest and giggled then suddenly sparked her face up looking towards the door with a blushing gasp, "Do you think Col heard us?"

At that moment the young man lay in his bed, wide eyed, mummified and gawking at the ceiling. Downstairs Hanna was resigned to her loft and, when the clatter above finally ceased, scoffed in amazement, "Wow..."

Finally, outside on the main lot where the stable was erected. Their horse kept his face affixed on the window Holo and Lawrence had engaged by and, when hearing all go quiet, lost interest and began to feed.

The following morning Col pulled himself from his bed after a night that kept rousing him from sleep. After dressing himself he departed downstairs to the kitchen and found Lawrence already at the table with Holo sitting in his lap, arms draped around his neck and sharing the same plate. He uncomfortably took his chair destined in front of them and watched in awe at their obliviousness to his presence. While Lawrence would masticate Holo would nuzzle his cheek and neck with her nose then be offered food from the spoon he presented of which she would partake then continue on with their public display of affection.

Col watched and turned seven shades of red while Hanna, who noted his place at the table, came out with a pot and filled his empty bowl with porridge. He attempted to eat but was awkwardly interrupted by the little games the couple were playing with one another.

"Ahem!"

Holo and Lawrence snapped from the spell of hypnoses they had entrapped each other with and acknowledged him, "Oh good morning Col, sleep well?"

His brow furrowed, "I did, frankly." said the boy who, under the vexations this scene was inflicting upon him, asked, "How about you two?"

Lawrence puffed out his chest while Holo purred, "Couldn't have asked for a better one."

Holo gave him a scolding pinch for insinuating too much.

Biting his lower lip, Col responded, "I'm sure."

Hanna smote him with her ladle. Shooting back while rubbing his head he erupted, "Hey, I'm not being the inappropriate one!"

Lawrence, while having his cheek caressed by the hand of his wife, took it, turned to him and asked while slightly stunned, "What makes you say that?"

Casting himself back in his chair while throwing his hands up Col declared, "Never mind, I will be taking my oaths of celibacy anyway."

Lawrence shrugged considering it a loss in his behalf, "Don't knock it until you try it."

Holo hit him.

"I do agree with master Col,' concurred Hana, 'the table at breakfast time is not an ideal moment for these kinds of amends."

Lawrence took hold of his mug filled with hard cider, "Holo and I just wanted you two to know that we worked out our differences." he then partook of the dregs.

Holo spoke up and very haughtily, "Or should we say, in and out."

The mug flew from Lawrence's lip as he sputtered his beverage all over the table. After coughing and wiping his lips he declared with astonishment at the perpetrator of that remark, "Holo the Wise Wolf!"

Hana flexed her brow and Col appeared on the verge of erupting.

"What could have possessed one such as you to say such a thing?"

Holo put a finger in his nose, presented a thirst in her eyes and said with wanton desire, "The same thing that possess me to want dessert after breakfast..."

He gulped as her hold on him tightened and her desires became more greatly known. "...Oh..." squeaked Lawrence after evening out his expressions.

Col nearly tossed his face into his meal.

Holo moved to her feet when feeling his lap shift then led him up the stairs by the hand as if she were possessed by the spirit of Lilith.

The footfalls ascended, the door was closed and bolted.

Turning to Hana, Col ridiculed her the same way one would ridicule others when more harm was dealt when getting what they wanted, "Well are you happy now? They're back together! And in full force!"

Hanna pointed to the bowl still ready to be exhumed if it's contents and ordered, "Eat young one."

Col ate in intervals trying to push the thought of what was occurring from his mind. Then, after a few minutes, a yell or a groan was heard from above. The spoon of which Col possessed flung into the air and crashed on the table while the one who owned it buried his face in his hands. Even Hanna's will began to waiver.

The door opened and a single set of barefooted footsteps bolted back down. It was Lawrence wearing only his pants and unfastened vest who ran in, filled a pitcher with water and consumed every last drop.

Wiping his lips while covered in sweat he panted, "Well back to-er- um; back to what I was...well back upstairs!"

He then rushed up from whence he came as if the ground beneath his feet were hot coals. The young man, practically crying, moaned, "Mrs. Hanna...what have you done?"

After that an odd yet heavy wrapping could be heard with enough density to bellow along the walls. It was the headboard striking the wall in a sequence. Col jumped up and begged, "Please I can't take this anymore!"

Suddenly a large thud erupted from upstairs that carried thunder throughout the walls followed by a playful shriek from Holo. There was a long pause and soon after both of them came back downstairs. Lawrence went one way and Holo, upon shaky legs, sat at the table and took a moment to breathe.

"Is everything alright?" asked Hana which surely invoked more ire from Col.

Fanning herself off Holo said, "Oh yes, we just need to sort out an expense."

"Eh?"

Turning red in the cheeks all she could say was, "We may need a carpenter to come by and repair something."

"You don't say..." grumbled Col.

Lawrence returned with a coin purse and said, "This should be enough. I'll go see if I can hire one." he was obviously addressing Holo.

As he was about to take his leave Holo called to him with an abrupt beckon in her voice, "Lawrence..."

He took a moment to see her cross her arms and legs and lift an eyebrow at him. His task was not yet finished.

He sighed, "Again?' then realizing he was in the presence company rapidly corrected himself, 'Ah! I mean I may need to check our expenses again! I must return upstairs to check the ledger."

Holo jumped from her seat and said, "Let me check with you! One can never be too certain eh?"

He presented the way for her to go upstairs and was about to follow when Hana caught him, "Master Lawrence, do you have any plans for us today?"

Seeing her and then the boy he withdrew a few gold coins and allowed her hand to claim them, "Why don't you two take the day off and live up the town a bit, hmmm?"

There was no opportunity within the natural realms of time nor was there any hour generous enough to give Hanna adequate time to respond before he bound up the stairs.

Shaking the dubance in her hand making them clink she invited the young man to accompany her by saying, "Come Master Col let us enjoy our day off!"

He took her arm and lead them out the front door, "I will but just know, I'm never helping you with this again."