SORRY! I'm so sorry it took so long for an update, I'm trying to get Grey Magic finished up. This chapter is on the short side, because of what comes next, I didn't want to break all that stuff up. Hopefully it won't take too long though to get out the next chapter! Thanks for following along!
Pansy really hated waking up to the feeling of crusty eyelashes, puffy skin, and dried salt on her face. She knew she was not one of those lucky people who still managed to look attractive after bawling their eyes out. She could only imagine what her face looked like mixed with bed head and the usual grungy feeling of waking up. Stifling a yawn, she absently reached for her wand, intending to cast a tempus. The feeling of the empty bedside table was a harsh reminder of her circumstances. No wand, lost in time, Order of the Phoenix, Hermione Granger as her only ally. Right. Pansy finally cracked an eye open and looked towards the window since she had no other way of telling what time it was. If she was going to stay, she would need to fix that, or better yet, get her wand back from that idiot, Black. She had no doubts he was the one holding on to it. He had been one of the two people who brought her in, after all, and she doubted even Gideon Prewett could charm him into giving it up without a fight.
Deciding it was light enough outside to warrant some breakfast, Pansy finally stood, abandoning the warmth of her bed. Trying to stretch and shiver at the same time, she noticed a jumper, a pair of flannel pajama pants, and a t-shirt draped across the back of her chair. The clothes obviously belonged to a man, judging by the size alone, but she was desperate enough to wear something she hadn't just slept in. She had to roll the bottoms of the pants, and pull the drawstring in a ridiculous amount, but everything was warm and comfy so she had no complaints. Far more practical than the silks and lace her mother had always insisted a lady should wear. Pansy snorted in a most unlady like fashion at the thought of her mother. Oh yes, silks and lace were for ladies, but it was perfectly acceptable to slit someone's throat in the drawing room should they be an inconvenience. She could honestly say she was more than happy to be rid of the ruthless and cold woman forever. The only person she could think of who would be less suited for motherhood would be Bellatrix, the crazy bitch, herself.
Once dressed, Pansy made for the door, her hand hovering over the handle, suddenly unsure. Her rumbling stomach soon made her decision for her as it let out an audible growl. Huffing wryly to herself she turned the handle and was pleasantly surprised to find it unlocked. A part of her had been expecting Black to have locked the door behind her and taken up guard duty himself, since he obviously thought everyone else was losing their minds to let her wander freely.
Stepping into the hallway, she was suddenly assaulted by the delightful smells that could only mean breakfast would be served shortly. Pansy inhaled deeply, she couldn't really remember the last time she actually looked forward to breakfast, even though it had been her favourite meal as a child. It had been the only meal her mother wouldn't reprimand her for "eating a most unbecoming amount, she was a lady after all, not a starving wretch, nor a hog that needed fattening up."She very much doubted anyone in the Order would be reminding her to think of her figure as she ate. With those happy thoughts she hurried to find the source of those wonderful smells.
She hadn't seen anybody else on her way to the kitchen, and so was slightly surprised to find three people already in the room. A woman with sandy, shoulder length hair was standing in front of the stove, clearly the guilty one for how delicious the kitchen smelled. At the table sat a woman with the most gorgeous red hair she had ever seen. She was whispering to the man next to her, a man with ridiculously messy black hair and glasses…
"Potter?"
At her question, the quiet conversation died as all the occupants turned to look at her. Instead of the suspicion and outright hostility she was used to, the woman at the stove positively beamed when she saw Pansy standing in the doorway. She put down her spatula and came over to Pansy, throwing her arms around her. Pansy could honestly say she had never been more surprised in her life. The entire situation had just become very surreal. Here she was at Order headquarters, wearing mens pajamas, being hugged by a complete stranger. Her face must have shown her complete shock, because there was definitely snickering coming from the direction of the table. Not that she could actually see in that direction anymore, thanks to this obviously crazy person who still hadn't released her.
Clearing her throat and giving the stranger an awkward pat on the back, Pansy tried to disentangle herself. The woman let go immediately and stepped back once she felt Pansy shifting away.
"Oh, sorry love, I guess you wouldn't know me, last time I saw you, you were unconscious. I'm Dorcas Meadows, the only official healer for the Order." As she stressed the word "official", Dorcas had shifted her gaze to the occupants at the table, causing the redhead to lose complete control of her sniggers and burst out laughing. The man next to her looked like he wasn't sure if he was proud or embarrassed by whatever story went along with the unsaid implication.
"You know, everything turned out just fine in the end. Sirius' voice wasn't stuck that way for very long, and my eyelashes eventually stopped growing. Look," he pointed at his face, "completely normal now. I don't know why everyone keeps bringing it up like it was an epic failure or someone died. Everyone lived, and the side effects faded eventually." Pansy found it slightly disturbing that a man his age could actually look kind of adorable instead of ridiculous as he pouted.
"Key word is eventually, James. If you idiots had just come to me in the first place, you wouldn't have need to trim your eyelashes for a month, and Lily wouldn't have made you sleep on the couch," Dorcas waved her hand in dismissal, "anyway, ignore that idiot. Are you hungry? I'm just about finished with breakfast. Seems the only time anybody actually makes anything edible around here is when Remus, Lily or myself are here to make it for them. Merlin only knows what they eat when neither of us is around." She rolled her eyes and headed back to the stove.
"Pickles and sandwiches, Dorcas. They live off pickles and sandwiches when we aren't around." The redhead seemed to finally have regained control of herself. Pansy assumed this must be Lily then. Now that she got a good look of the two sitting together at the table it was rather obvious who they were. She could pick out all the details between the two that would one day come together and make Harry Potter.
Pansy was brought out of her thoughts by Dorcas, as the woman placed a plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon on the table, gesturing for her to sit. As breakfast had been the entire point of leaving her room this morning, she happily plopped down into the offered seat. Of course she couldn't just be left alone to enjoy her pancakes in peace. After she had taken a few bites, the two seated across from her continued their conversation. Whispering. Angrily. Pansy rolled her eyes. Was it going to be like this whenever she was in the company of others? It was too early to care what they really thought of her right now, anyway, there was breakfast in front of her and it was meant to be savoured.
When Pansy only had a few bites left James suddenly stood from his side of the table, roughly pushing his chair back with enough force it clattered to the floor. Pansy watched dispassionately as he stomped from the room. Feeling eyes on her, she turned to face Lily, who was watching her with what appeared to be pity. Ugh, pity. Seeing the look directed at her, Pansy felt the need to get away from the redhead as quickly as possible. She didn't need or want anyone's pity. She wasn't a charity case.
Finishing her last bite, she stood quickly to take her used dishes to the sink, hoping desperately the redhead would just let her leave without saying anything. Nope, she wasn't that lucky. She was only a few steps short of the door when Lily spoke up behind her.
"You'll have to excuse James. He and Sirius can be rather short sighted. Mixed with their Gryffindor passion it tends to run a bit rampant sometimes. They make snap decisions without being given all the information, and then refuse to listen to anything or anyone that could change their minds." There was a pause, Pansy heard Lily sigh, "I just wanted you to know though, not everyone feels that way. There's a few of us that are willing to give you a chance."
Pansy closed her eyes, head tilted back, and heaved a sigh. She didn't want this conversation. She didn't want any conversation. Why couldn't everyone just leave well enough alone? She wasn't hurting anybody, she wasn't going to go on a bloody rampage and murder everyone in a berserker rage. She didn't want their pity and platitudes. They didn't need to make excuses for each other, because she really couldn't care less. She was used to always having someone around who was more than willing to remind her of all her shortcomings. It only peeved her further that she was being given a chance by a few. She had nothing to prove to these people. They could all take a long walk off a high cliff for all she cared.
Placing her hand on the doorframe, without turning around, Pansy replied, "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not particularly in the mood to prove myself worthy to anyone. This was my only means of escape and I took it. I'm not going to beg for anyone's approval. I'm sure you have far more important things to do right now than take pity on the Death Eater. Don't let me keep you."
The silence that followed gave Pansy a perverse sense of satisfaction. This Gryffindor darling wasn't used to her charity being shoved back in her face it would seem. She probably was expecting gratitude or some other tedious display of emotion.
When she was sure Lily wasn't going to reply, Pansy finally left the kitchen, hoping to find somewhere to lie low without others gawking or trying to make awkward small talk, or reminding her of her Death Eater status. She was more aware of that fact than anybody could possibly know. She was the one with a madman's mark branded into her flesh. It was rather hard to ignore. Shaking her head, Pansy headed back up the stairs, taking two at a time, hoping to leave the ginger and her pity far behind.