A/N: Special shout-out to Gruvia and NaLu 4 Life, TheFelRoseOfTerror, ItsMeVader and the Guest reviwers for your positive reviews and suggestions. Speaking of suggestions, one of you asked if I was gonna include other Disney-owned franchises, such as the Disney Channel shows, Pixar, and Star Wars movies. Well let me just say I am only focusing on the animated films. I will include some Pixar characters and characters from the live action movies, but as for the TV shows and Star Wars, that would be unlikely. As always, read and review!
Chapter 7: Alice in Earth Land
A week after Halloween, November comes by in a flash as the tumultuous effect of the events caused by a wave of nefarious instigators, who were soon thwarted by our protagonists, subsided into a calming atmosphere. Not long after, Jack Skellington, Sally, Lock, Shock and Barrel were aquainted with the wizard guild, Lamia Scale, and arranged with the master of the guild, Ooba Babasaama, to stay with them until they found a way to return to their home of Halloween Town. The Sanderson Sisters, along with Pete and Yzma, became wanted criminals by the Queen's Royal Guard, who are yet to be apprehended thus far.
As for Fairy Tail, today may as well be one of the guild's most normal days since a few months prior. Or so they thought.
Cana hung out in the guild hall, playing cards with Gildarts, Eugene, Nick Wilde and Kuzco. She had a Full House in her hand and was ready to win the pot. The Card mage grinned victoriously. "Well boys, get ready to run home to your mamas crying, cause I got a Full House."
She laid her cards out onto the table as Gildarts, Kusco and Eugene groaned and threw their cards and folded.
Nick, however, smiled smugly. "That's cute. But, I already have the upper hand. Boom!" The fox revealed a Royal Flush, which declared him as the true victor.
"I can't believe it. I've been out foxed... by a fox." frowned a wide-eyed Cana.
"It's called a hustle, sweetheart. Deal with it." retorted the fox as he took all the winnings on the table, including Kuzco's crown.
"Ooh, he called you on that one, Cana." commented Eugene.
"Hey, don't beat yourself up, sweetie. You're still the best cardplayer that a father can have." Gildarts consoled his daughter.
"Whatever, Gildarts. I've had a few losses before. It's no big deal." Cana rolled her eyes as she sipped her beer.
"At least it's not a major loss. Unlike me... who lost his crown... to a fox." Kuzco sighed sorrowfully.
"I said I was gonna give it back to you by the end of the day, llama-boy. Don't get your hopes up." Nick said as he wore the emperor's crown.
Kuzco sighed as he laid his head on the table depressively. "Don't call me llama-boy."
"Hey, Carrots! Look at me! What am I?" Nick called out to his bunny partner, who was conversing with Mickey and Minnie as she turned to him.
"A dork wearing somebody else's hat?" Judy retorted as Mickey and Minnie giggled at her comment.
Nick cocked an eyebrow while the other boys at the laughed. "That's Emperor of the Mammals to you, peasant! Tremble before my power lest you face my awesome predatory wrath!"
Judy rolled her eyes as the fox walked over to the bunny, pretending to be an almighty emperor, and wiggled his fingers whimsically at her. The bunny police officer knocked the crown off his furry head.
"Well, now you've been usurped by the Bunny Queen. Now grovel before your new leader! Or else my cuteness will be your downfall!" Judy teased.
The others laughed and chortled at the fluffy scene while Cana sighed in boredom. She downs the rest of her booze, gets up from her seat and leaves the table.
"Hey, where you going?" Eugene asked.
"Don't you wanna play another round? Or better why don't we play Gin? A game that I may or not beat you at?" Nick asked as he shuffled the deck of cards.
"Nah, you guys play without me. I'm just gonna take a walk." Cana said as she leaves the guild hall.
Judy notices the Card mage leaving and decides to catch up to her. "Hey, Cana! Wait up!"
The bunny ran towards Cana who turns to the small fluffy mammal. "Oh, it's the bunny girl. What's up?"
"I heard you were going to take a walk and I was just gonna start my daily jog anyway. May I join you?" Judy asked politely as the two girls started walking.
"Yeah, I guess." sighed Cana. "It's not every day that I walk with a cute little bunny. There is a first for everything."
"Uh, yeah, don't call me cute."
"Why not? You are a bunny rabbit. Not to mention you're small and cuddly like a plush toy." Cana said, which made Judy's demeanor change from cheerful and upbeat to irritated and offended.
"I'll have you know that only other bunnies can call me cute. If anyone else called me that, however, it's offensive to me and my kind." corrected Judy. "Also it would be demeaning to my professional status as a police officer. Did I not mention that I am a police officer, because that's even more disrespectful."
"Geez, sorry. I didn't mean anything by it." The female mage apologized. "But I see what you're getting at. I'm a pretty kickass wizard and not to mention sexy as hell. If some asshole calls me cute or hot, I'd break his neck."
Judy cringed a little but replied to the comment. "I don't think I would go that far. Then again, I do arrest and, sometimes, taze criminals on a regular basis."
"It's a Guy-Eat-Girl world out there, Judy. You can never be too careful." Cana advised the bunny officer.
"I know right? And where I'm from it's usually a Predator-Eat-Prey world or vice-versa." Judy chuckled. "Although, even though we're all animals we don't actually eat each other."
"If you don't eat each other then how do you get meat?"
"You know, I was just explaining that to Mickey and Minnie earlier. You see, it's a kind of complicated but..." Judy conversed with Cana as they continued on their walk.
Meanwhile, Natsu and Happy returned from a job outside of town that took them a day to complete. The duo were nearly dead-tired from the way back and from lack of sleep. Natsu and his Exceed comapnion collapsed onto the floor with severe exhaustion.
Snow White, Erza and Mirajane noticed the two slumped on the ground and went over to help them up. "Natsu, Happy are you alright?" Mirajane asked concernly.
"Yeah, we're fine, Mira." Natsu yawned. "We just didn't get enough sleep, that's all."
"You know, this reminds me of the time when I was put into a poisoned apple-induced coma." Snow White reminisced. "It was refreshing when I woke up, though. And it felt like a dream, too."
"Is that why you have an irrational fear of apples?" Erza asked.
Snow White nodded. "Why, yes."
"So that's why you swatted the slice of apple pie that I offered you out of my hands the other day." Mirajane said as she and Erza helped Natsu up onto a stool. "I'm sorry if I didn't know."
"It's okay. And I'm sorry for ruining that pie you made." The princess apologized. "I know, why don't I help you bake another pie? A gooseberry pie!"
"That sounds wonderful, Snow!" The Takeover mage said sweetly as the princess went to the kitchen. "But first, I need to give these boys some coffee."
Mirajane went behind the bar counter to brew coffee for Natsu and Happy as Erza turned to the two. "Why are you two so tired? You didn't pull an overnighter on that job did you?"
"Nah, the job went fine." Natsu replied exhaustively.
"We just couldn't sleep last night." Happy mumbled tiredly.
"How come?" The armored mage asked.
"Look in my bag and you'll see." The Dragon Slayer pointed to his travel bag that leaned against the counter.
Erza picks up the bag, sifting through the contents until she pulls out something that surprises her. A small man wearing a large green top hat and a brown hare. Theu were both bounded and gagged with rope and hankerchiefs. "Natsu! Why the hell are these two tied up in your bag?!"
"Because they're the reason why we couldn't sleep last night!" exclaimed Natsu.
"That doesn't give you the right to kidnap them! It's rude! And illegal!" Mirajane reprimanded the two as she poured them their coffee.
"I'm very sorry for my friend's rude behavior. He's just exhausted, that's all." Erza explained as she untied the hare and small man.
"I'll say!" said the small man in the large hat. "He's very, very rude!"
"Yes, he's an aggressive little pink-head!" The hare added as he poured himself a cup of tea.
"STOP CALLING ME A PINK-HEAD! MY HAIR IS SALMON! NOT PINK!" shouted Natsu.
"I think you mean Fish-Pink? If not, then call me color-blind." giggled the small man in the hat.
"What do they call you two?" Erza asked, kneeling down to their level.
"Well, Miss Shining Lady in Shining Armor, they call me the Mad Hatter!" The Hatter introduced himself. "And they don't call me 'mad' for nothing!"
"And I am the March Hare! They don't call me 'mad' for nothing!" The Hare poured the Hatter a cup of tea from his teapot as a Dormouse popped its head out from the lid of the teapot.
"Yes, yes, very mad indeed." The Dormouse said groggily as he withdrew his head back into the pot like a turtle.
"They don't look angry to me." Mirajane said.
"No, I think they're saying that they're mad in the context of being insane." corrected Erza.
"You're damn right they are!" Natsu shouted.
"They're beyond the realm of kukoo!" Happy added.
Erza dismisses Happy and Natsu's comments as she turns to them for answers. "Where did you find these two?"
"It all started yesterday when me and Happy went on the job," Natsu began. "After we were done, it was getting dark out at that time, so we decided to camp in the forest. While we were gathering firewood, Happy found these little hellspawns hanging out in the woods having a tea party."
"At first, they were really nice and offered us tea, but they wouldn't give us any while they kept babbling nonsense." Happy said.
"And they kept us up all night, giving us weird riddles, like 'Why is a raven like a writing desk?' or something stupid like that." Natsu continued further into the conversation.
"Gee, I don't know, why is a raven like a writing desk?" The Mad Hatter asked naïvely.
"How the hell should I know? You're the one that came up with that retarded riddle!" exclaimed Natsu.
The March Hare spat out his tea all over Natsu and let out an appalled gasp. "My, what colorful language! That's not very gentlemanly at all!"
"Do you wash that mouth of yours, young man?" The Hatter chastised the Dragon Slayer, as the latter began to fume with rage. "We should've given you soap as an Un-Birthday present."
"An Un-Birthday? Is that like the opposite of a birthday?" Mirajane asked.
"Oh, no, no, no, no, my dear! Far from it!" The Mad Hatter explained.
"An Un-Birthday is much, MUCH more special than a regular birthday." said the Hare.
"If you don't mind me asking, what is an Un-Birthday?" inquired Erza.
"Well, you see, an Un-Birthday is-- if you have a birthday, then-- no-- if it's on a Monday--" The Hare stuttered for a moment before chuckling to himself, turning to the fourth wall and points his thumb towards Erza. "She doesn't know what an Un-Birthday is."
"Oh, you don't wanna know, Erza. You wouldn't be interested." Happy insisted nervously.
"Yeah, Un-Birthdays are overrated anyway. They are pretty boring." Natsu tries to change the subject, unwilling to listen to the Hatter and the Hare's banter again.
"Nonsense! I shall elucidate!" The Hatter insisted.
The Hare rolls out a tablecloth on a table, instantly setting out an array of steaming teapots. He uses a spoon to conduct an upbeat tune from the whistling pots. The Dragon Slayer and the Exceed gritted their teeth and covered their ears as they heard the tune they loathed the most. The Hatter and Hare began to explain the meaning of an Un-Birthday, in song.
Hatter
Now statistics prove, prove that you've one birthday.
Hare:
Imagine, just one birthday every year.
Hatter:
Ah, but there are 364 Un-Birthdays!
Hare:
Precisely, why we're gathered here to cheer!
Erza pondered this and smiled. "Well, by that logic, today is my Un-Birthday, too."
"IT IS!?!" grinned the Hare.
"What a small world this is!" chirped the Hatter.
"Oh, no..." Natsu and Happy's mouths went agape as the two colorful characters rejoiced and danced around Erza.
Hare:
Aaa~ very, merry Un-Birthday!
Erza:
To me?
Hatter:
To you!
Hare:
A very merry Un-Birthday!
Erza:
For me?
Hare:
For you!
The Mad Hatter takes off his hat, revealing a large cake and gives it to the Requip mage in celebration of the ludicrous holiday.
Hatter:
Now, blow the candle out, my dear, and make your wish come true!
Erza blows out the lit candle on the cake, making it explode in a celebratory display, before turning into a piece of strawberry cake.
Hare/Hatter
A very, merry Un-Birthday to youuu~!!
The Dormouse floated down from a tiny parachute, singing his version of 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star' before falling into the teapot.
Dormouse:
Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder where you're at
Up above the world you fly
Like a tea tray in the sky
Erza happily dined on the glorious piece of cake that was given to her by the Hatter and Hare. Mirajane applauded the dazzling celebration. Natsu and Happy, on the other hand, gave a deadpanned expression, already knowing first-hand just how annoying those two were.
"That was so fun!" smiled Mirajane.
"Oh, it was nothing!" The Hatter chortled.
"Everyday is always a celebration! That's what makes it special!" said the Hare.
"Yeah, it WAS special. Up until the eleven-teenth time you sang that song." frowned Happy.
"Come on, now. Sure they may be a little... well, you know..." Erza struggled to say, as she thought of a more sensitive way to describe the Hare and Hatter without offending them.
"Demented, insane, bonkers, mental, gonzo?" added the Hatter.
"Deranged, unhinged, looney, crackers, non compos mentis?" chimed the Hare excitably.
"But most importantly..." Both characters said in unison. "...mad?"
"Actually, I was going for something on the lines of 'eccentric'." Erza said.
"Works for us!" beamed the Hare.
"Come along, now! Let us continue spreading our jolly Un-Birthday spirit!" The Mad Hatter said as he and the March Hare sang their cantankerous tune to share with the rest of the guild. Erza goes off to finish her cake, leaving only Mirajane, Natsu and Happy.
"I don't know why you two are so bothered by them. They're very funny and adorable." said Mirajane, smiling.
"Mark my words, Mira, they may be funny and adorable at first, but just wait until they start to get on your nerves." Natsu warned the Takeover mage, gravely.
"Oh, yes. I'm sure their madness is very contagious." Mirajane said sarcastically as she continued on with her day.
"That poor, deluded girl." Happy frowned.
"Yup. They have no idea what's in store for them." Natsu said sharing a similar expression.
"But won't it be hilarious when we get to see the look on their faces?" Happy said while stifling a laugh.
"You bet it will be!" Natsu laughed, while he and his feline friend bumped fists.
Cana and Judy
The female mage and the bunny police officer walked along near the edge of the woods that's nearby the guild hall as they continued their ongoing conversation.
"...so who would win in a fight, a tiger or a lion?" Cana asked, taking a swig from her canteen full of whiskey.
"The lion." Judy replied.
"Why?"
"Well, a lion has a stronger build while a tiger has a slightly smaller physique." The lavender-eyed bunny explained. "Also, when you're working as a police officer in a city full of anthropomorphic animals, you see a thing or two."
"Ah. But the fight was cool right?" inquired Cana.
"It was. At least, that's what Nick said after we broke it up." Judy continued when her large ears picked up muffled crying in the distance. "Whoa, wait. Did you hear that?"
"Yeah, my stomach. Is it lunchtime, already?" said Cana hungrily.
"No, not that." Judy followed the sound of sobbing until traced it behind the brush. "It sounds like someone crying over there."
"Judy, don't go in there! It's probably haunted!" warned Cana as the bunny went near the brush.
"I thought you didn't believe in ghosts." Judy said skeptically.
"I use to. Until I woke up the other night to someone calling my name out. I assumed I was drunk, until I realized that I was completely alone and sober." Cana recalled as a chill went up her spine.
"Well, I'm not gonna take any chances. Someone could be in trouble, and there's only one way to find out." The grey bunny peeked through the brush to see a little blonde girl wearing a light-blue pinafore dress and stockings, who may be 7 or 8 years old, sitting on a tree stump and curled up into a fetal position all by herself. The poor girl cried into muffled sobs as she sat on the bare stump.
Judy and Cana stepped through the brush and looked down at the girl in sympathy. "Aw, that poor girl." whispered Judy.
"What's she doing here all by herself?" Cana asked silently.
Judy shrugged as she approached the blonde girl. "Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?"
The girl stopped sobbing and looks up, seeing Cana and Judy standing before her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just a little upset, that's all." The blonde said quietly as she spoke with a soft British accent
"Why are you all alone in this forest? Aren't your parents looking for you?" Cana asked.
"I don't think I know where I'm at, let alone my parents or my sister." said the little girl.
"What's your name, sweetie?" Judy asked consolingly as she communicated to the girl at her level.
"Alice. My name is Alice." replied the girl.
"Well, my name is Hopps, officer Judy Hopps. And this is Cana. She's my friend." The bunny introduced herself and the mage to Alice.
"What's up?" greeted Cana casually, drinking from her canteen.
"Judy Hopps? That's quite an appropriate name for a rabbit, isn't it?" Alice wondered.
Cana suddenly laughs out loud. "I know right? It's like a funny pun or something."
"Do you know which way home is?" Alice asked.
"That depends, where are you from?" Judy inquired.
"London." Alice replied. "I do say, Wonderland is a lot different than the last time."
"Wonderland? What's that?" Cana asked.
"Oh, it's this very unique and very odd place that I've been to in my dreams." Alice explained, but blushed awkwardly as she received questionable glances from Cana and Judy. "I know it sounds farfetched, but from the looks of this place, it's a lot stranger than Wonderland. Far-off places, weird creatures, magicians. It's more like a storybook than just a world of nonsense."
"Well, unlike your fantasy world, Fiore is a legit place. Full of logic and normal reasoning." Cana explained. Alice was about to ask her a question but the Card mage extended her hand before she could say anything. "...and, yes, there's also a little bit of nonsense. But, I digress, all that stuff about magic and crazy-looking creatures is per the norm here."
"Alice, do you remember how you ended up here?" Judy asked.
"Oh, dear, that's quite a long story. Let's see now," Alice said as she reminisced the events of the last few months. "It all began some time ago when I was playing in the park with my cat, Dinah. The weather started to become very dreary, so we decided to go home. It seemed like an ordinary storm at first, but then the wind started to pick up and the next thing I know, an enormous funnel of wind plucked me right off the ground.
"Just like what happened to you and the others, Judy." Cana said.
"Yeah. Can you recall anything else?" Judy pressed further.
"When I woke up, I had no idea where I was or where Dinah could--"
Alice gasped as she suddenly remembered her precious kitten, who was separated from her when she first came to this world. "Oh, no... Dinah... I've nearly forgotten about her."
"Don't worry, I'm sure wherever she is, she's probably safe." assured Judy.
"But--but I don't even where she is!" whimpered Alice as tears began to fill her eyes. "She must be so frightened! Being stuck in a scary place like this!"
Judy pulled out a small hankerchief and offered it to the sobbing girl. "Here, blow."
Alice accepts the hankerchief and blows into it. "Thank you. I'm sorry if I cried too much."
"Don't apologize. I know it's tough being in a new environment, but we'll help you. There are other people, including me, that are lost and separated from their homes, just like you." Judy assured the British girl.
"Do you think they know where Dinah might be?" sobbed Alice as she tried to pull herself together.
"Hey, we'll find her. She can't be that far." Cana smiled, comforting the girl as she kneeled to her level and gently patted her small head.
"Oh, I hope you're right." Alice said somberly while she dried her teary eyes with the hankerchief.
"Come on, let's go talk to Master Makarov so we can figure out what to do with you." Cana said as she and the bunny police officer lead the blonde girl back to the guild hall.
Alice then notices a white shape zoom past the brush. She recognizes the shape as a white rabbit in a waistcoat, yelling frantically as it ran past her. "I'm late! I'm late! Oh, dear, the Queen is going to have my head if I'm late again!"
"The White Rabbit! I know him! He's from Wonderland!" exclaimed Alice, pointing to the panicked the rabbit.
"Why would a rabbit in a waistcoat be in the middle of nowhere? And what is he late for?" Cana asked curiously.
"Well, I am a rabbit myself, so if I know rabbits, they can be a little impatient sometimes. Even when we're extremely early, we do tend to be in a hurry." Judy explained.
"Perhaps he knows where Dinah is." Alice assumed as she began to pursue the White Rabbit. "Mr. Rabbit! Wait!"
"Hey! Alice, come back!" Judy called out to the British girl as she and the Card mage ran after her.
"Mr. Rabbit, please! I need to know how to get home!" implored Alice, who chased the rabbit into the forest.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! No time for me to say 'Hello', goodbye! I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!" hollered the Rabbit, running deeper into the forest.
"Man, this girl's got the attention span of a fly, doesn't she?" Cana said cynically while still following the girl and white bunny alongside Judy.
"Let's just focus on stopping her before she wanders off!" Judy said.
The chase eventually ends with the White Rabbit running into a hedge maze as Alice blindly follows him. The rabbit and the blonde girl went down the left path. Judy approaches the entrance to the maze, losing sight of them. She uses her natural hearing to track their sound. The long-eared bunny picks up the beat of their footsteps and runs towards the direction they took.
Despite being far being far behind, Cana was the last to catch up to them. She panted as she reached the maze entrance. The female mage scanned from left to right, deciding which path she should take. "Now, which way did they go?"
She scans both the left and right path once more, finally deciding on taking the path on the right.
Judy ran after Alice and the White Rabbit, who were already so far ahead of her. The grey bunny picked up the pace as she was right on top of the girl in the pinafore dress. She tackles Alice to the ground, successfully stopping the girl from running any further. The White Rabbit anxiously dashed off into the hedges.
"Hey! Why did you push me down?!" huffed Alice, as the bunny police officer subdued her.
"Well, you were running away from me and Cana! That was very reckless of you!"
"I was only following the White Rabbit just to see where he was going!" Alice explained, but Judy wasn't having any of it.
"I'm the only rabbit you need to follow." Judy said chastisingly. "If you keep wandering off like that, we'll both end up getting--"
Judy stops as she notices that she was in the middle of a small clearing surrounded by tall hedges. "...lost?"
She scans her environment and sees that there were multiple paths that seemed to lead to nowhere. There was no indication as to which direction she came in from.
"Oh, dear. How did we end up in here?" Alice asked frightfully.
"I'm not sure." Judy looked around the area. There weren't any landmarks that she could identify, so their exact location is hard to map out.
"Maybe we should choose a path. One of them has to lead us to the exit." Alice suggested.
"That's probably not a good idea. We don't know where we are, and we haven't seen Cana yet. We'll just have to stay where we are until she finds us."
"But what if she can't find us? Or worse, she could be lost as well." Alice wondered fearfully.
"Well..." Judy scans the ground and sees a long stick peeking out from under the hedges. She pulls the stick out from the hedge as an idea pops into her head. "I know! We can use this stick as a landmark by digging it into the ground."
"What a wonderful idea, Miss Hopps. Miss Cana will surely find us once she sees the stick we left behind." smiled Alice.
"Or better yet, why don't we leave a trail for her to follow?" Judy suggested.
"I think I've got it!" Alice digs into the pocket of her pinafore and retrieves a ball of yarn. "I always carry some yarn for Dinah to play with in case she gets bored. We can use it to tie around the stick and unravel the ball while we find our way around the maze so that we would leave a trail for Miss Cana to follow."
"That's perfect! Say, you're pretty smart for a girl your age."
Alice shyly blushes. "Oh, why thank you, Miss Hopps."
"It's okay, you don't adress me formally. Just call me Judy." The bunny digs the stick into the middle of the clearing while Alice ties the yarn around it. "It's all set. Now which way do we go?"
"Let's start with... this path right here." affirmed Alice, pointing towards one of the paths at random.
"Okay, you unroll the yarn and I'll lead the way." ordered Judy as Alice holds onto the ball of yarn. The police bunny and little girl find their way through the maze as they leave a yarn trail behind for their Fairy Tail friend to find.
Speaking of their Fairy Tail friend, the Card mage, Cana Alberona, followed a separate path. Minutes began to feel like hours as Cana walked continuously through the maze. She was hoping to find Judy and the girl they found, named Alice, halfway through the maze, but hasn't found a sign of them.
"Where the hell are those two? And why is this maze here? It's ridiculously huge." Cana muttered to herself while she walked passed the endless hedges.
"Judy? Judy? Hey! Where are ya?! Judy!" Cana called out the bunny's name, hoping she could use her large ears to pick up her voice.
"Hello? Is someone there?" A voice called out.
Cana hears the voice over the hedges and follows it. The voice, which belongs to another female, continued to call out to Cana, as the mage responded to the the unknown woman's cries.
"Judy? Alice?" Cana turns around the corner to find neither the Zootopian police officer or the lost little girl from London, but another woman with dark auburn hair, wearing a purple toga, who seemed to be lost. "Who are you?"
"I should ask you the same thing. Unless you're just another obnoxious priss accusing me of trying to seduce your two-timing boyfriend." snarked the woman harshly.
"Uh, I don't have a boyfriend." Cana said blankly.
"So are you one of the locals here? Because I can't seem to find a way out of this maze."
"Hey, I'm just as lost as you are. These hedges are new to me." Cana replied.
"Yeah, I can see that." The woman said as she rolled her eyes cynically.
Cana was slightly annoyed by this woman's attitude, but casts her judgement aside. "Whatever, have you seen a grey bunny dressed like a police officer and a little blonde girl in a poofy blue dress?"
"Well, I don't know who, or whatever weird thing, you're looking for, I'm still trying to find my husband and his flying horse. Or at least that sleazy goat-legged teacher of his. Ugh, actually, I'm more hoping for that first thing." The woman groaned in disgust.
"That doesn't sound any better than what I said." deadpanned Cana.
"Yeah, you're right. I sound pretty crazy, don't I?" The woman then realized that she was getting off track. "Oh, what am I saying? What was your name, again?"
"Cana, Cana Alberona." replied the female wizard. "And you are?"
"Megara. My friends call me, Meg. At least they would if I had any." introduced the auburn-haired woman known as Megara.
"So, how did you end up here, Meg?" Cana asked.
"It's a long story. In fact, it's so long, I barely remember how I got here." Megara pondered.
"Well, think back, then." Cana suggested.
"Okay, well, it all began when I was born in a log cabin..." Megara started out in a exaggerated tone.
Cana furrows her brow at Megara. "Not that far."
"I'm just kidding." joked Megara. "Anyway, it all happened a few months ago, I was with my husband, Hercules, and all of a sudden this storm swept us away. And now--"
"You're stuck in Earth Land just like everyone else?" Cana chimed in.
"Yeah, how did you know? You a mind-reader or something?"
"Actually, there are other people like you that were affected by that storm and you were all brought here for some reason." Cana explained.
"Really? So do they know where my husband is?" Megara asked.
"Maybe. But if you come with me and help me find Judy and Alice, I'll take you to my guild. They can help you."
"Guild? Is that why you have that tattoo on your waist there?" Megara pointed to Cana's lower abdomen where her guild mark was.
"Yup, Fairy Tail. We're all wizards. We practice magic." Cana said.
"Magic, huh? Well, I've got magic, too. I only use it in bed, though." Megara said seductively, but in a joking manner.
"You know, I only met you for a few minutes, but I think I'm starting to like you now." Cana smiled as the two women teamed up and navigated through the maze.
"By the way, sorry for that priss comment earlier. You had no idea what I went through before I found this maze." Megara apologized.
"Hey, the worst you would've called me was a whore or a drunk-ass slut, but I still wouldn't care." Cana chortled while taking another sip from her flask.
Fairy Tail Garden
The Hatter and Hare were having a tea party in Fairy Tail's garden, singing their jolly tune and drinking tea with the Dormouse, when Wendy, Carla, Ralph, and Vanellope, came over to greet them.
"Hi-ya there, fellas." greeted Ralph, which drew attention from the odd duo. "You must be the new guys. I'm Wreck-it-Ralph, but you can call me Ra--"
"NO ROOM! NO ROOM! NO ROOM! YOU CAN'T SIT HERE!!!" shouted the Mad Hatter and March Hare as they tried to keep the three from sitting at their tea party.
"What are ya talking about? There's plenty of room." Vanellope said, pointing to the empty chairs at the table.
"It's impolite to show up at a party without an invitation." scolded the Hare.
"Yes, it's very, VERY, impolite." said the Hatter.
"Yes, yes, very impolite indeed." The Dormouse deadpanned, poking his head out from the teapot.
"Well, then, may we please sit down with you?" Wendy asked politely.
"Certainly!" beamed the Mad Hatter as he he showed them to their seats and the Hare poured their tea.
"Would you like one lump or two?" offered the Hare.
"One, please." Wendy requested.
"I'll have lots of lumps! But instead of tea, make it root beer!" exclaimed Vanellope.
"No lumps for me." Carla rejected politely.
"Actually, do you guys have coffee? I'm not much of a tea person." Ralph asked.
"Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down!" urged the Hatter as he got everyone to move out of their seats and move down the table to sit further away.
"But we didn't have our tea yet!" exclaimed Wendy.
"Well, if you didn't want any tea, you could at least make some polite conversation." suggested the Hare.
"So, tell me all about yourselves. Just start at the beginning and when you get to the end, stop." The Hatter explained.
"A-doy, we know how conversations work." Vanellope said.
"If you insist, I might as well start." Carla clears her throat as she began. "My name is Carla, and I am a white cat and--"
"Cat? CAT?!" The Dormouse panicked as he overheard the trigger word that sets him off. He scurries across the table throwing tea cups, saucers, and cutlery that was in his way. The March Hare and the Mad Hatter chased after the Dormouse trying to get him to calm down.
"Quick! Get the jam! Get the jam!" barked the Hare as Carla passes the jam over to Wendy, who passes it to Vanellope, who passes it to Ralph and then finally passes it to the Hatter, who spreads the jam over the Dormouse's nose, which somehow got him to calm down.
"Oh! Those are the things that upset me!" huffed the Hatter as the tea party was nearly ruined by the Dormouse's antics.
"Okay, this has gotten weird. I'm just gonna go." Vanellope said awkwardly as she walked away from the tea party.
"Right behind ya, little sister." chimed Ralph as he followed Vanellope.
"Wait! Don't go! Don't you want some tea?" The Hare insisted.
"No, thank you. I think we'll pass." Wendy said politely as she and Carla walked away from the mad tea party that continued with the Hare and Hatter singing their Un-Birthday song.
"Well, that was the strangest tea party I've been to." Carla commented as she and Wendy walked off from the party.
"They didn't seem that bad. They're just very quirky, that's all." Wendy assured the Exceed.
"I hope you're right." grimaced Carla.
Meanwhile, Elfman and Kronk were out in the garden picking mushrooms and other herbs for Kronk's special Cream of Mushroom soup that he's planning on serving for dinner.
"Thanks for helping me gather the ingredients for my soup, Elfie." Kronk thanked the husky mage. "I can tell already, this one's gonna be a doozy of a dish."
"No problem, Kronk. A real man knows how to cook in the kitchen." Elfman complimented the buff man.
"Yeah, and a real man helps his friends gather basil for their special Cream of Mushroom soup that's gonna be a doozy of a dish." Kronk said, who looks at Elfman awkwardly as if expecting an answer from him. "Is--is that right? That sounds about right. I just need your verification because I don't know the right answer."
Elfman chuckles and places his hand on Kronk's shoulder assuringly. "There's no wrong answer, Kronk. A man is a man no matter how strong or intelligent he is."
"Oh, good, because I'm not much of a guessing guy." Kronk sighed.
"Don't worry, Kronk, it doesn't take much-- hey, do you see that?" Elfman said, pointing to the sky
"See what?" Kronk looks to where Elfman was pointing as smoke in the shape of letters floated in the air. "Huh, wonder where that's coming from."
"Let's go see, then." Elfman was about to go through the brush when Kronk stopped him.
"Wait. It's dangerous to go alone. Take this." A squirrel runs up onto Kronk's palm and squeals happily as it presents itself to the Beast Takeover mage.
"I think I'm good."
"Sorry, little buddy. Maybe next time." Kronk apologized as the squirrel frowned and scurried away.
Elfman and Kronk went through the brush to find the source of the smoke. Kronk peeked his head through the set of bushes first and his immediately eyes went wide. "Yo, Elfie. Does Fiore have giant blue caterpillars that smoke from a hookah?"
"Not that I know of. Why?" replied Elfman, peeking through the bushes.
"Because there's a giant blue caterpillar smoking from a hookah."
Elfman looks up and sees an abnormally large blue caterpillar sitting on a giant mushroom smoking from a hookah.
"A, E, I, O, U." The caterpillar chanted, blowing smoke rings shaped as letters. "U, O, E, I, A."
"Whoa, look at that mushroom he's sitting on! That would go great with your soup!" Elfman said, pointing to the large mushroom that the caterpillar sat on.
"I dunno. He probably wouldn't like it if we took his mushroom. Why don't we ask for it?" Kronk suggested.
"Yeah, that would be good idea." The two buff men cautiously approached the caterpillar as he continued to smoke.
The caterpillar was going to take another drag from the hookah when he notices the two men. "Who... are... you?" The caterpillar asked with pomposity in the tone of his voice.
"Hi there. Me and my friend were wondering if we could borrow that manly mushroom you're sitting on. If you don't mind me asking." Elfman insisted.
"Why?" The Blue Caterpillar asked, blowing smoke in the shape of the letter Y.
"Well, I wanted to make a cream of mushroom soup. And your mushroom looks to be delicious enough to put in my soup. So can I have it?" Kronk asked eagerly.
The Caterpillar snootily crosses his arms and takes another drag. "EXACTICALLY, what makes you think this is my mushroom?"
"Cause... you're sitting on it?" Elfman said.
"One does not SIMPAPLY claim ownership of one mushroom just by sitting on it. This garden is abound with toadstools and mushrooms alike. Why would I own all of them if they already belong to nature?" The Blue Caterpillar asked articulately.
"You know, that's actually a good point." Kronk pondered.
"Does this mean we can have the mushroom, then?" Elfman asked.
The Caterpillar crawls off the mushroom and climbs onto a large toadstool. "You may take the mushroom if you'd like. Just leave me to my PERSONANAL recreation."
"Well, I know it's none of my business, but I don't think smoking is a healthy habit. Especially for a growing caterpillar like yourself." lectured Kronk.
The Caterpillar didn't take this lightly as he glared at the burly men. "I'll have you know that what I do in my spare time is my DISCREETION and my DISCREETION only! I don't care if it is HEALTHATHY for my MEASLALY 3-inch body!!"
"But you're bigger than 3 inches, though." corrected Elfman, but the Caterpillar wasn't having any of it.
"I am EXACTICALLY 3 inches tall and it is the perfect height!" He starts smoking heavily from the hookah angrily as smoke began to cloud his whole body.
Elfman and Kronk coughed from the heavy smoke that filled the air. "Whoa, now! You're gonna stunt your lungs!" Kronk tried to warn the Caterpillar, but it was in vain as he disappeared, leaving only his multiple pairs of shoes behind.
"Geez. Insecure much?" Elfman commented.
"I didn't mean it like that, though. I was just sharing my opinion." Kronk said apprehensively.
Suddenly, the former Blue Caterpillar, now transformed into a butterfly, fluttered above the two men. "By the way, I have a few helpful hints. One side will make grow smaller and the other side will make you grow larger."
"The other side of what?" Elfman called out to the butterfly.
"THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!" shouted the transformed Caterpillar as he flew away.
"Wow, that was one salty caterpillar." said Elfman.
"I know. He really needs to work on his pronunciations." Kronk said.
"But at least we still got the mushroom." The Beast Takeover mage yanks the giant mushroom from the ground and slumped it over his shoulder.
"I dunno. What that caterpillar said sounded important. You don't think it's poisonous, do you?"
"Don't worry, this mushroom is edible. I should know, I've spent my time outdoors, like a real man. Come on, let's make that soup!" Elfman carried the mushroom as Kronk shrugged and followed the Beast wizard back to the guild.
Judy and Alice
The grey anthropomorphic bunny and little blonde girl spent the last few hours going around in circles, leaving a messy trail of yarn strewn all over the maze. They covered much ground so far, but were nearly out of string. Judy was starting to nod off as she dragged her feet along the grass. Alice was growing tired as well. Their legs finally gave in and the two fell flat down onto the ground, exhausted and overwhelmed by the many twists and turns they took.
"Oh, dear, I don't think this yarn plan is working, Miss Judy." Alice said wearily.
"I know." Judy moaned from exhaustion. She rubs her drowsy eyes and laid back on the ground. "If only there was someone who can give us directions, or better yet, a map."
"Contrariwise, though, that would be impassable." Alice commented.
"You mean impossible?" corrected Judy.
"No, impassable. Nothing is impossible."
Judy sat up and glances at the blonde girl. "You know, I've noticed that you're very curious and imaginative, Alice. That's a good trait to have."
"Imaginative? You mean delirious?" Alice inquired.
"Having an imagination doesn't mean you're crazy. It means you have a really cool personality." said Judy.
Alice showed a deadpanned look of disbelief on her face to Judy. "Well, that's not what my sister thinks. She is a very logical person, and she never has time for nonsense."
"Yeah, it's not easy having something in common with another brother or sister. Trust me, I have at least 275 siblings... and counting." Judy began. "I had dreams of being a police officer since I was little, and at first my brothers, sisters, even my parents didn't believe in me. But, eventually, they came to terms with my dream and they supported me no matter what."
"It must have been stressful for you, wasn't it?" Alice asked.
"It was." Judy sighed. "But it all payed off in the long run. I have an awesome job, a cool partner, and I couldn't be happier."
"But...?"
"But now this whole Being-Stuck-in-a-Fantasy-World situation has kinda thrown me, Nick and everyone else through a loop." Judy said this as she thought about her friends, her coworkers and her family back in Zootopia. She wondered if she and Nick will ever get back home. That thought alone made her uneasy and a little homesick.
"Miss Judy," Alice spoke softly. "Do you think that this place, Earth Land, is all in our heads? Maybe this could all be a dream? Just like Wonderland?"
"It feels like it, but it's a little too real for me." Judy said, still grasping that thought in her head.
"That would explain the strange things I've seen. But it makes me even more curious." Alice said.
The Zootopian bunny got back up on her feet and smiled. "Well, there's no point in sitting here just thinking about it. If you really want to know more about this place, then we can explore it together."
"That would be lovely, Miss Judy." Alice grinned, accepting Judy's proposal. "But there's still the matter of getting out of this maze."
"I'm sure we'll think of something. There's probably a path that we haven't taken, yet." Judy says as she looks around for another passage they have yet to go through.
"Oh, look over there!" Alice points to a small pack of furry creatures running in a straight formation towards a bigger group of the latter.
"What are those things?" Judy asked.
"They're Momeraths! They might know where the path might be!" Alice said as she and Judy followed the tiny creatures.
The Momeraths clumped together to form an arrow, which pointed towards an unexplored pathway.
"That has to be the right path." Alice assumed.
"Are you sure?" Judy asked.
"It has to be, otherwise the Momeraths wouldn't be here. We should follow it and see where it leads."
"I just hope your intuition is right on the money." With that said, the duo take the chosen path, given to them by the strange, yet helpful Momeraths.
Cana and Megara
The Card mage and the auburn-haired woman named Megara were still finding their way through the mysterious hedge maze as they found, yet another dead-end. This time it was a small clearing with a large twisted tree. The two ladies sighed as they sat under the tree.
"Well, another dead-end. What now, Cana the Explora?" Megara asked.
Cana sighs miserably. "If I had at least one idea, it would be to kill myself because being stuck in this maze is frickin' impossible."
"I wouldn't be surprised if there was a Minotaur in this place." Megara said cynically.
The sound of disembodied humming echoed into Cana's ears, which caught her attention. "Hey, you hear that?"
"Yeah, my stomach. I barely ate anything since last week. Ugh, I need a sandwich or something." Megara groaned hungrily.
"No, it sounds like someone singing." Cana said as she listened closely enough to hear the joyful humming coming from the tree above them.
Megara hears the singing as well as both women looked up to see a fat, purple cat with pink stripes and a broad fixed grin appeared in thin air, singing his merry tune.
'Twas brillig
And the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves
And the momeraths outgrabe
"Are you seeing this, Cana? Cana?" Megara turns to the wizard, who stared in bewilderment at the smiling cat. Cana takes out the flask full of whiskey, sniffs it, and pours out the expired contents in the flask.
"Well, well, well..." The grinning cat spoke. "It looks like I have an audience. Would you like to hear the third chorus?"
"Uh, no thank you, Mr... Cat?" Cana asked the mysterious feline, still flabbergasted by him.
"Cheshire Cat. At least, that's what they call me. Who might you be, by any chance?" inquired the cat.
"I'm Cana, and this is Meg." Cana introduced Megara and herself.
"It looks like you two have lost your way." smirked Cheshire Cat.
"Wow, really? I had no idea. I thought we were just taking a evening stroll." Megara said sarcastically, crossing her arms.
"Are you an Exceed? Because I noticed that you can disappear at will." Cana asked.
"If by Exceed, you mean, Exceeded your expectations? Then yes, yes I have." Cheshire Cat chuckled.
"Look, whatever, putty-tat. Have you seen a small grey bunny dressed like a cop and a little blonde girl named Alicia running around? And maybe a way out of this place?" Megara asked demandingly.
"Her name's Alice, Meg." corrected Cana.
"I know what I said." Meg retorted.
"A way you say? Around here, my dear, all ways are the Queen's way." The smiling cat said menacingly.
"Queen? There's no Queen around here. Unless you're talking about Queen Hisui of Fiore." Cana said skeptically.
"Oh, no, she's a bona-fide monarch from where I'm from. If you want to leave, I'd take it up with her. But I must warn you, she's very mad." warned Cheshire Cat. "Of course, I'm mad as well. Everyone's mad down here."
"I don't think he's just whistling Dixie, Cana. I wouldn't trust him so easily." Meg said.
The female mage scoffed. "I don't care how angry this Queen is. If she knows how to get out of this maze, then by all means, we'll go straight to her. So which way do we go from here, Cheshire?"
"Well, some would go this way," Cheshire Cat said as he pointed his thumb towards both directions while walking in place. "And some would go that way. But as for me, I would prefer the shortcut."
He pulls down on a branch, which acted as lever, opening a hidden passage. The passage lead to a garden lined with rose bushes. A red and black castle stood in the background.
"Well, that's convenient." commented Cana. "Thanks, anyway."
"Anytime, ladies. If you need help, just stand on your head and whistle. And the momeraths outgrabe." Chesire Cat sang his song as he disappeared from sight.
The two brown-haired women went through Cheshire Cat's shortcut and entered the garden. The garden had nothing but red roses that complimented the red and black theme of the castle that stood beyond the garden.
"Nice rose garden. I bet the Queen who lives here must be obsessed with red or something." Cana assumed.
"Yeah. You think she would have a whole variety of flowers besides these roses. Maybe some chrysanthemums, tulips, or at least a bed of buttercups." Megara said as she examined the red rose trees up close. She rubs the petals of one of the flowers just to feel the texture as red was smudged onto her fingers. The rose seemed to be covered in red paint.
Out of curiosity, Meg gently plucks one of the roses from the tree and crushes the bud. Red paint stained her palm as it was revealed to be a white rose that was painted to look red.
"Hey, Cana. I'm no botanist, but I don't think these roses aren't what they seem to be." addressed Megara.
"I know. Someone did some real work on this one." said Cana sarcastically as she noticed a tree with half-painted white roses.
"What weirdo paints white roses to make them look red?" Meg wondered.
The two women hear deep bellowing voices singing an upbeat tune. Meg and Cana follow the sounds until they came upon three sentient playing cards, an Ace, a 2, and a 3 of Clubs painting roses and singing a song.
Cards:
Painting the roses red
We're painting the roses red
We dare not stop
Or waste a drop
So let the paint be spread
We're painting the roses red
We're painting the roses red
Oh, painting the roses red
And many a tear we shed
Because we know
They'll cease to grow
In fact, they'll soon be dead!
OH!
And yet, we go ahead
Painting the roses red
Painting the roses red
We're painting the roses red
"Yo, boys! Wha'cha doin' painting those roses for?" Cana asked casually, which gained the three Club's attention.
"Huh? Oh!" The three playing cards said in unison.
"Well, the fact is, Miss, we planted white roses by mistake." The 3 of Clubs explained as the cards continued in song.
The Queen she likes them red
If she saw white instead
2 of Clubs:
She'd raise a fuss
Ace:
And each of us
Cards:
Would quickly lose his head!
"Dang." The girls said in unison as they looked at each other in astonishment while grasping their necks.
Since this is the part we dread
We're painting the roses red
"Why don't they just plant the red ones anyway? Although, if you ask me, this garden needs more color than just red." Megara commented.
"You know what, Meg, today has been a weird day for the both of us. So let's not even question it. In fact..." Cana said as she picked up a can of red paint and a brush. "Let's have some crazy-ass fun and paint some goddamn flowers."
"Now that's a first." Megara eye-rolled and smiled as she and the Fairy Tail wizard joined in on helping the cards paint the roses.
All:
Painting the roses red
We're painting the roses
Don't tell the Queen what you have seen
Or say that's what we've said
But we're painting the roses red
Cana:
Yup, painting the roses red
3 of Clubs:
Not pink
Ace:
Not green
Megara:
Not aquamarine
All:
We're painting the roses red!
Just then, Judy and Alice came running into the garden as they found Cana and Megara painting the roses with the playing cards.
"Cana! There you are! We thought we would never find you!" Judy exclaimed as she exhaled with relief.
"Oh, no! What are you doing?!" Alice said in a panicked tone.
"We're painting white roses red, what does it look like we're doing?" Meg retorted.
"If the Queen catches you, she'll execute you!"
"Queen? What Queen?" Judy asked obliviously.
"The Queen of White Roses and Card Games apparently." Cana replied humorously.
Suddenly, the sound of fanfare blared in the distance, which signaled the approach of the Queen. The three Clubs panicked as they tried to cover up their mistake. "THE QUEEN! THE QUEEN! SHE'S COMING!!!"
"I think we're in trouble, girls." Megara frowned, dropping her paintbrush. "Let's bail."
"Hurry! Hide here!" Alice led the girls behind a tall bush as an army of playing cards came and lined up in formation.
The cards marched into the garden, surrounding the entire area. The Clubs quivered in fear as they fell on their knees and bowed before her majesty. The guards began their sound-off to present their leader. The two women, the younger girl and the bunny peered from behind the bush to get a good look at the so-called Queen.
"Count! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, Jack!"
The White Rabbit then appeared in his uniform, blowing into his bugle to announce the Queen's presence.
"Her Imperial Highness, Her Grace, Her Excellency, Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Hearts!" The playing cards cheered wildly for their Queen as she made an elegant appearance.
The Queen of Hearts was large obese woman in a red and black, wielding a heart sceptor and had a small crown placed on her head. She smiled as she entered the garden with grace. A tiny man, who was supposedly the King of Hearts, trotted beside her.
The White Rabbit finally noticed the King and addressed him, but without the same energy as the Queen's introduction. "And the King."
"Huh, she doesn't look angry to me." Cana said quietly.
"Can someone explain to me why we're hiding behind a bush?" Judy whispered demandingly.
"That's the Queen of Hearts. She's not a very pleasant person. The last time I encountered her it did not end well." Alice elaborated. "Of course, that was in a dream. I'm still a little fuzzy between what is real and what is not."
"Oh, come on, she doesn't seem that bad. She looks like a stand up person." Megara said assuringly.
The Queen of Hearts' calm demeanor suddenly shifted into that of anger when she notices the half-painted rose tree that was still wet. She marched enragingly towards the tree, wiping the wet paint with her finger.
"Who painted my roses red... again?" The Queen said lowly as she proceeds to yank the tree from the ground. The song picks up again with the Queen's verse.
Queen of Hearts:
Who's been painting my roses red?!
Who dares to taint with vulgar paint?!?
The royal flower bed?
For painting my roses red
Someone will lose his head!
Meg stared in shock at the crude monarch's vulgar behavior. Alice gives the auburn-haired woman an 'I Told You So' expression on her face. "You were saying?"
"I stand corrected." Megara replied sheepishly.
"Oh, no, your majesty, it's all his fault!" The 2 of Clubs said accusingly while pointing the finger at the 3 of Clubs.
"Not me, Your Grace, the Ace!" The 3 of Clubs exclaimed, shifting the blame to the Ace.
"You?" The Queen said, glaring at the Ace.
"No! Two!"
"The Deuce you say?!"
"Not me! The Tres!"
"THAT'S ENOUGH! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!" bellowed the Queen of Hearts as the Cards followed their direct orders and carried the insubordinate Clubs off to their awaited execution.
Cards:
They're going to lose their heads
For painting the roses red
It serves them right
They planted white
But roses should be red
Oh, they're going to lose their heads--
"SILENCE!!!!" boomed the Queen as the frequency of her angry tone caused the guards to fall down like dominoes.
"Damn, those poor guys." Cana said with a saddened expression.
"I feel kinda bad just for helping them." Meg frowned.
Judy was appalled by the Queen of Hearts' actions. In Zootopia, justice was usually carried out with fair punishments depending on the severity of the crime. Sure, there were some cases where justice wasn't handled well, but the way the Queen handled her role as Judge, Jury and Executioner was just outrageous. Painting roses a certain color was nothing worth the death penalty, but merely just a slap on the wrist.
The embittered police bunny decided to share her grievance with Her Majesty. Alice tries desperately to stop her from confronting the Queen. "Miss Judy, no!"
She was too late, however, as Judy called out the Queen. "HEY, YOU!"
"Who said that?" The Queen of Hearts said as she noticed the grey bunny.
"I did! And I have a lot to say to you!" Judy said confrontationally. "What gives you the right to sentence three innocent Clubs to their deaths? For planting the wrong flowers? Or for painting them the right color that YOU wanted?"
"Just who do you think you are?!" The Queen demanded, offended by the bunny's attitude.
The bunny reveals her badge to the Queen, establishing her authority. "My name is Judy Hopps of the ZPD, and I don't like the way you treat your subordinates around here! Where I'm from, this isn't exactly how we carry out justice!"
"My way? WHAT ABOUT MY WAY!?!" The Queen barked.
Judy felt intimidated by the monarch's anger, but stood firmly. "Well, for starters, you can't just execute people for petty crimes. It's not really the way--"
"ALL WAYS ARE MY WAYS! And I don't care if you're a Knave, you have no jurisdiction over me!" The Queen of Hearts shouted.
"It's true, Miss." The White Rabbit explained as he unraveled a scroll that contained the laws and bylaws of the kingdom. "According to Section 32, Article 5, Subsection 19B of the laws of the Kingdom of Hearts, all ways are therefore and forevermore the Queen's way."
"Well, does it say that I can file a complaint against the Queen?" Judy inquired.
"You can't because I make the rules. And the rules say that you cannot complain against the Queen." The Queen said snootily. "Now move along now little bunny. If you make me lose my temper again, it will be your head."
"But wait--" Judy tried to rebuttal but the White Rabbit prompted her to leave.
"Move along now, Miss. The Queen is not a patient woman." warned the rabbit.
"Hey! Stop right there!" shouted a playing card guard as Cana, Alice and Megara were discovered.
The Queen of Hearts marched angrily towards the trespassers that were hiding in her garden. The playing cards apprehended them and brought them over to her. "Now, what are THEY supposed to be?!"
"I believe those are women, my Queen." The King of Hearts said.
"Uh, hello." Cana smiled nervously.
"You guys mind keeping your hands off me? Man, so rough." Meg demanded as she pulled away from two of the guards.
"Who are you, my dear?" The Queen asked Cana politely.
"My name is Cana, Your Majesty. Please to meet ya." The mage tried to greet the Queen politely without setting her off by offering a handshake.
"Straighten your posture! Chin up! Keep eye contact when you're talking to me!" The Queen scolded Cana as she did as told. "And you!"
"Who me?" Megara asked, as the Queen glared at her.
"Stop crossing your arms! It's not lady-like! Now curtsy! Open your mouth, speak loudly and say, 'YES, Your Majesty!'."
"YES, Your Majesty!" Megara repeated as she did as told.
"Very good." The Queen smiled, patting Meg on the head. She looks over and sees Alice, apprehended by two of her guards. Her smile curled into a sinister grin as she finally found the criminal that humiliated her. "Why if it isn't Alice. Blonde hair and all."
Alice gulped with fear. Megara whispers over to the frightened girl. "Hey, Goldilocks, what did ya do to make this hussy mad?"
"I sort of beat her in a game of croquet. The circumstances are rather hard to explain." Alice replied.
"I'll tell you about the circumstances! This little brat embarrassed me in front of the entire kingdom by making me lose my temper! And now she must face the consequences!" explained the Queen.
"But you can't punish Alice for making you mad. The law doesn't work that way--" Judy tried to explain but the stubborn monarch interjected her.
"ALL WAYS ARE--!!!"
"...your ways, I get it." The bunny sighed in defeat.
The Queen of Hearts scoffed. "I have no time for this. I'm supposed to have a croquet game today, so let's make this quick. Off with their heads!"
The guards started to drag Alice and the other girls to their execution. The blonde girl began to plead for her life. "No! No please! I'm begging you!"
"You can't do this to us! Lemme go!" Megara said demandingly.
"If you guys kill us, Nick and everyone else are gonna come looking for us!" warned Judy.
"Alright, that's it!" Cana breaks free from the guard's grip. She places a card on the ground and summons several beams of water, striking multiple guards. "Prayer's Fountain!"
A stream water nearly hits Alice, but strikes one of the guards instead, freeing her from her captors. Megara seizes the window of opportunity by kicking one of the distracted playing cards that restrained her in the leg and punches the other in the face. Judy's captors were also hit with the water, which gave her the chance to wield her tranquilizer. The bunny police officer fires a few tranqs at a few guards, knocking them unconcious.
The Queen of Hearts became irate, so she orders the King to send more guards to take care of the resisting girls. "Oh, those little brats' heads are gonna roll for this! FOLD IN ANOTHER DECK!"
"You heard the Queen! After them! After them!" ordered the King of Hearts as more playing cards poured into the garden.
"There are more guards coming! What do we do?!" Alice exclaimed.
"Here! Takes these!" The White Rabbit ran over to the girls with a croquet bag that contained flamingos of different colors instead of croquet mallets.
"Wait, why are you helping us, now?" Cana asked.
"Well, I-I'm just-- just plum sick of the Queen and-- and her obnoxious temper!" The rabbit said anxiously. "I-I never thought there would be anybody b-brave enough to s-stand up to her. Heck, even I'm still scared of her."
"Well, we're glad to see you on our side." Judy smiled.
"But what are we supposed to do with these?" Meg asked as she pulls out a green flamingo mallet, which giggled and flailed around.
"GET THEM! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!" The Queen hollered as an army of playing cards charged towards the girls and the traitorous White Rabbit.
"Oh dear! Protect me!" The White Rabbit frantically hid behind Judy as she fired her tranquilizer at the guards.
"I don't think I feel comfortable using birds as weapons." Megara said hesitantly.
"Well, I'm not." Alice replied as she whacks one playing card in the head with a pink flamingo mallet as Megara did the same.
"Card Dimension!" Cana shouted as she imprisons dozens of the playing cards in cards.
"Cards inside of cards? Curiouser and curiouser." Alice commented, picking up one of the cards that has ensnared a guard inside.
"Save your curiousity for later, Alice. We can't let these goons overwhelm us." Judy said with a levelhead as she took down more guards with her tranq gun. The bunny eventually ran out of darts, so she relies on her hand-to-hand combat to defend herself. Luckily, the playing cards weren't physically built, which made taking them down slightly easier.
The Queen fumed with rage as her infantry dwindled rapidly. She picks up the King of Hearts and pulls him closer to her glaring expression. "SEND IN ALL THE CARDS WE HAVE!!!"
"Y-Yes, my Queen." said the King fearfully as he blew into his horn, summoning even more playing cards.
The number of guards started to become too much for the girls as they were surrounded by the endless amount of enemies pushing them into a circle.
"There's too many! They've got us boxed in!" exclaimed Megara, still wielding the green flamingo.
"Miss Cana? You're a wizard, right? Do you know any other magic besides your card tricks?" asked Alice, clutching onto the White Rabbit in fear.
Cana suddenly had an idea. "I think I do, but I haven't used it in a long time. Also, I probably can't use anymore because I was granted this ability for a short time."
"Don't you remember how to use it, though?" Judy asked.
"I can try, but it still wouldn't work since I don't have it physically."
"Physical or not, we need it now more than ever!" Meg grunted as she kept pushing back the playing cards.
"We're doomed!" The White Rabbit shrieked.
The Queen laughed deviously "They can't escape now! OFF WITH THEIR--"
'Don't give up on me now, Mavis!' The Card wizard shouted internally as she suddenly remembered the incantation. "Gather! O river of light that guides the fairies! Shine! In order to perish the fangs of evil! Fairy Glitter!"
Light gathered in Cana's right arm while magical energy built up. Her guild mark glowed like a lantern. A bright halo wrapped around the army of playing cards, constricting them. The girls and White Rabbit ran from crowd of guards while Cana unleashed the legendary Fairy magic upon them. The halo tightens up and explodes, scattering the playing cards in the air. The explosion pushed the Queen back, making her fall down on top of the King in a comical fashion.
The card guards were scattered across the garden, either knocked unconcious or retreating back to the castle. Alice, Judy, Meg and the White Rabbit were nearly unharmed from the explosion. Cana panted with exhaustion from using so much energy to unleash Fairy Glitter. The others rushed over to the Card mage to see if she was well.
"Cana, are you okay? That was a lot of magic you used." Judy said concernly.
Cana smirked as she winded up her arm. "That was nothing. I'm a friggin' boss. But... there's something I don't get, though. Why did I use Fairy Glitter again? I couldn't do it without Mavis before, so why was I able to use it?"
"Perhaps it was your strength and will to protect us that gave you the ability to use Fairy Glitter once more." Alice suggested.
"Yeah, it's weird. Friendship seems to get us out of heavy jams more than once. Heh, now that I think about it, it's like some kind of plot armor or somethin'."
"I hate to break up the Friendship celebration, but what are we gonna do with Her Royal Hissy-Fit over there?" Megara asked, jabbing her thumb over to the Queen of Hearts.
The Queen sat up and rubbed her sore derriere that she suffered from her fall. She looks over to see the girls approach and her temper suddenly flared up as soon as she saw them. "YOU! LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY GARDEN, YOU VANDALS!!!"
"It looks like the tables have turned for you. You might as well give it up." said Judy condescendingly.
"NO! You can't beat me! I am the Queen! Off with your heads!" The Queen shouted, but when no guards showed up, she calls for them again. "I said, OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!! Where are those fools?!"
"I'm afraid the infantry has retreated, my Queen." The King said woefully.
"WHAT?! Those cowards! I shall have their heads! You, Page! Send for the Executioner!"
"I cannot do that, Your Majesty. I have worked my tail off for you for some odd years, and after some consideration I have finally decided to resign from my position as Royal Page. Here is my 2-Weeks Notice." The White Rabbit announced to the Queen as he handed her his resignation form.
The monarch's face turned red and flustered as she tore up the form with rage. "QUIT?!?! YOU CAN'T QUIT!!! YOU WORK FOR ME UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE AND I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT!" She shifts her glare to the girls, particularly Alice in general. "AS FOR YOU! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH NONSENSE FROM YOU AND YOUR SLANDEROUS FRIENDS! YOU FOUR ARE NOW ENEMIES OF MY EMPIRE!"
Cana and the girls shared a deadpanned expression. "Well, you don't have to make a big deal about it."
"OFFFF~ WITH YOUR--"
Cana throws a Sleep Card spell in the Queen's face, causing her to feel drowsy. Her lumbering body fell backwards, falling down on top of the King of Hearts again. The King let out a shriek of terror as the Queen slept on him like a mattress.
"That should calm her down for awhile." Cana said.
"But with the Queen of Hearts asleep, how will we get out of here?" Alice asked.
"The exit is just around those rose bushes over there." The White Rabbit pointed to a small row of bushes where the exit stood.
"Ugh, finally, I thought we would never find it." Megara exasperated as the girls head towards the exit.
Judy stops and turns to the White Rabbit. "Hey, you coming?"
"W-who me? Well, I-I don't know I--" The rabbit stammered nervously.
"You already quit your job. There's no point in staying here unless you wanna lose your head." Judy said, cocking an eyebrow.
The White Rabbit's eyes widened in fear as he scurried over to the girls. "Wait for me!"
Fairy Tail Guild Hall
It was already late in the afternoon as Cana, Judy, Alice, Megara and the White Rabbit returned to the guild hall. The latter felt exhausted after the insane day they had. Hopefully, returning home would bring logical sense into the picture. But they may be in for something else.
"So this is your place, huh?" Meg asked as she and the others reached the guild building.
"Actually, this is just the place I work at." Cana replied.
"It's quite enormous." said Alice, looking at the guild building in awe.
"I don't like the looks of this, maybe I should go somewhere else." The White Rabbit said timidly.
"No, no, it's okay, Mr. Rabbit. The people here are actually nice once you get to know them." Judy insisted.
Cana opens the front doors of the guild hall. "Yo, guys. I'm back. It's ya girl, Cana." Her eyes went suddenly wide in bewilderment as she beared witness to what she never expected to see.
Madness. Pure madness, unfolded in front of Cana as many random things were happening at once. Nearly everyone was running around in a circle while a dodo dressed like a sea captain stood in the center. Olaf the snowman was suddenly gigantic. A small man in a large hat and a brown hare chased Horologium, one of Lucy's Celestial Spirits, with a mallet.
The ones who were running around the dodo were singing an inane song about a Jolly Caucus Race.
All:
Forward, backward, inward, outward
Come and join the chase!
Nothing could be drier than a jolly caucus race!
Backward, forward, outward, inward
Bottom to the top!
Never a beginning
There can never be a stop!
"I say, you there! You'll never get dry that way!" The Dodo said, singling out Juvia in the circle of Jolly Caucus Racers.
"But Juvia can't get dry! Juvia's always wet and also very moist!" exclaimed the Water wizard, who struggled to keep up with everyone else.
Olaf towered over Freed, Evergreen and Bixlow as he gave the three of them bear hugs. Laxus, Elfman and Kronk tried to quell the excited snowman.
"Dammit, Kronk, what did you put in that soup Olaf got into?!" Laxus yelled at the burly baffoon.
"I dunno. I didn't actually think snowmen could get growth spurts. Maybe I used a tad too much basil than the recipe called for." Kronk pondered.
"Here, Olaf, I have some hot chocolate for you." Elfman said as he offered the warm drink to the snowman.
"Hot chocolate AND warm bear hugs? This is the best day ever!" boomed Olaf gleefully, squeezing the Thunder Legion to death.
"MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH!" The Mad Hatter and March Hare shouted as they continued hunting down the scared Horologium, who was covered with jam, butter and lemon juice.
"Please! Leave me alone! Haven't you violated me enough, you heathens?!" implored the Celestial Spirit.
"Get back here, you little maniacs, so I can kick your asses!" shouted Lucy, who chased after the mad duo.
Cana slowly walked out of guild hall, shutting the door behind her. She displayed an awkward stare before shifting to a casual smile. "Okay, so, the guild hall is a little messy right now. How about we stay at my place for tonight?"
"Is everything okay in there?" Meg asked concernly.
Just then, Natsu and Happy broke through the front doors as Erza angrily ran after them. "The time has come!" The Dragon Slayer yelled as he and Happy were pursued by the raging woman.
"NATSU!!!" roared Erza.
"Admit it, Erza! We told you that Hatter and Hare were crazy! But nooo~ you still didn't listen to us!" chastised Natsu.
"Yay! Vindication!" Happy cheered.
"I'm gonna vindicate the two of you when I catch up to you!"
"Does this nonsense happen all the time here?" Alice asked, while she and the others watched Erza hunt down Natsu and Happy. Cana and Judy looked at each other and just shrugged in response.
The camera pans out from the guild hall, while Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee's faces appeared and were shown as the sun and moon in the sky. The two finished the closing scene with their reprise of 'Cabbages and Kings'.
Tweedles:
We're cabbages and kings!
They jump out from the background and land into foreground while the background faded to black.
"The End!" chimed the twins.
"Thank you, fellow readers, for enjoying this recitation of 'Alice in Earth Land'." Dee said, addressing the readers. He shoves his brother which made a honking noise as he bumps into him.
"But before we close this chapter, we would like to share an epilogue." annouced Dum, shoving Dee.
"An epilogue that will hint at future events..." Dee said, bumping into Dum again.
"...and introduce another mysterious character that will play a major role in the story." Dum finished as he danced and honked with Dee for a moment.
"That's foreshadowing." The twins explained, performing another dance routine until they waltzed off-screen.
Meanwhile in one of the private residential areas in Crocus...
A classic and expensive blood-red Rolls Royce, with a front license plate reading DEVIL, drove up to a private mansion that stood out as the most ominous and haunting than the other wealthy homes around. The vehicle parked in front of the steps of the creepy house. A woman dressed in a monstrous mink coat, slender black gown, and red stiletto pumps stepped out of the car, smoking from a cigarette holder. She had a bob-style haircut that was colored half-black and half-white. Her devilish demeanor made anyone near her feel intimidated in her mere presence, even though she seems like an ordinary heiress with all the riches in the world.
Two men, dressed like low-lives, stood at the front entrance, taking their hats off in respect. The slimmer man greeted the woman. "Good evening, madam. We've been waiting for your arrival and we--"
"Oh, stop with the formalites, Jasper and tell me why you and Horace are loitering in front of my holiday home?" The woman demanded impatiently.
"Mr. Clayton has sent you another package, Miss." said the short, chubby man named Horace, who handed the woman a parcel delivered to her.
"Well, it's about time it got here. I was worried that it got lost in the mail." The woman takes the parcel and proceeds to unlock the front door of her mansion.
"Hold on there, Miss, we've been doing odd jobs for you for a few months now, and you promised to give us our boodle and we have yet to get one pence!" Jasper demanded.
"You'll get your pay when it's good and ready. Now kindly leave me be." The fur-wearing lady said bluntly. Jasper tries to force his way inside, but the woman closes the door behind her, jamming Jasper's fingers in the door.
He pulls his fingers out with a pained yelp. His five digits throbbed in severe pain from the amount of force that was brought upon them.
"You alright, Jasper?" Horace asked.
"Ah, shut up, you."
Inside the mansion, the woman went into the master bedroom, opens the package and unboxes the fur of a freshly killed Weretiger. She takes off her mink coat to try on her new fur. She looks in the mirror and admires the texture of the animal pelt.
"Oh, Cruella, you naughty girl." The woman named Cruella de Vil chuckled to herself as she twirled in front of the mirror and embraced the soft fur. "Is that a new coat? Why yes it is. Exquisite, isn't it? The spots just ooze style."
A thought flashed in her mind, prompting her to stop twirling. Cruella was suddenly lost in thought when she mentioned the word that brought up suppressed memories of complete failure and misery. Spots. Her number one trigger word. Rage consumed Cruella's senses as she remembered the mutts that sent her to the asylum where she rotted for years.
"Those mongrels..." Cruella shuddered angrily. She throws down her Weretiger coat, screaming at the top of her lungs. "I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM SO MUCH!!!"
Cruella grabs a candlestick from the nightstand, tossing it at the mirror shattering it into pieces. The heiress panted heavily. She slowly regained her composure.
"Keep it together, woman. You'll make up for your mistakes soon enough." Cruella buried her face in her palms, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She eventually calms herself down. Now lying across her bed, Cruella takes off her red gloves. Her right hand beared a guild mark, which resembled a devil's head and horns.
The woman released suppressed cackle. "After all... nobody says no to Cruella."
A/N: Another lengthy chapter, yet again. Sorry for the long wait, but I've been caught up in other things lately, including high school. It's not easy keeping a consistent schedule. Maybe I should write a shorter chapter next time. As for Edtaku Squad, I think I should just wait until I've gathered enough ideas for Chapter 12 (Or rather Chapter 5 part 1). I'm thinking of doing the world of Attack on Titan next. Other than that, I hoped you loved reading this new chapter. See ya later.