The next month and a half was pretty much hell. I didn't understand exactly what was happening after the diagnoses. I hadn't felt weird, everything for me was completely normal. Afterwards, when they put me on bed-rest is when things started getting bad. Spencer didn't like leaving me alone while he went to work but the fact that a nurse came by twice a day made him feel better about it. The medication they put me on helped with the blood pressure but not with my issues concerning addiction. I don't know if it was the drug itself or just the action of popping the pill in my mouth every morning. Whenever the time came that I needed to take it I felt the familiar burning sensation in my arms. Begging me to relieve the pain like I used to. I didn't tell Spencer though.

I didn't want him to worry, not when it was something that I could handle on my own. I knew that if he thought for even a second that I had a chance of relapsing then he would never leave me alone. Not until the cravings subsided completely. Every time I felt the burning itch start, I would lean on my arm and focus all of my energy on anything else. It didn't matter what.

Despite all of his out of town jobs, Spencer has been able to make every doctors appointment. I'm not sure how but he has. They have been calling me in every week to make sure that everything was going like it was supposed to. They were giving me steroids to make her lungs grow faster, they measured her size every week and were trying to put off the C-section as long as they could, they wanted to make sure that both of lived though this. The really scary thing was that she wasn't growing like they said she should. She was moving very slow and it didn't help with my worrying. I still wasn't showing that alone was unsettling it didn't matter how much the doctor and Spencer explained to me that due to her size and how physically fit I am it made sense that I wasn't showing. As far as I'm concerned I should be about to pop.

Spencer was very excited to hear that we were having a girl. I know he was a little worried abut having a boy. He didn't tell me exactly how he felt about the whole thing but I knew that it had something to do with his father. I wanted to ask him about it but at the same time didn't want to make him upset, not when him and I didn't have much time together. I myself was more worried about having a girl vs having a boy. I could deal with boys all day and night but a girl was on a whole different level.

Spencer calls me every hour, on the hour when he was away. He had already threatened to call the paramedics if I didn't answer. He wasn't playing around, not with this. It got kind of old real quick but at the same time it was really sweet and I looked forward to his call. Before he left he always made sure that there was plenty of food for me. One of the only kind of good things that happened was the fact that Gideon didn't travel nearly as much as Spencer so he has been spending a lot of time here keeping me company.

When Spencer came home I was half asleep. Something that I've been doing a lot, it's not like I had much else to do. He looked a hell of a lot more tired then he normally did. I was awake enough to know that it was him, but asleep enough not to move when he came in the room. I heard the bathroom door open and him turn on the shower. When he got out I heard his phone beep and him sigh. He got dressed and left again.

All Spencer wanted to do was go home and go to sleep. He hadn't even been at work today. He had to finish up things at the academy. They were reviewing his work in the field and making sure that they made the right choice in waving most of the fitness requirements. He had been stressing about it all day, if they decided that it wasn't working then he would be out of a job and there isn't any way he would be able to support Addison's medical bills and especially not a baby who had a very high chance of needing special medical care after being born.

He hadn't told Addison about it, worrying wasn't something she needed to be doing. He had been more then ecstatic when they liked what they saw. Didn't mean that he wasn't exhausted when it was all said and done. Adding on to everything that went on that day, he hadn't been sleeping very well at home anyway. He spent most of the night making sure Addison was okay.

When he got to work the first thing he did was get some of the coffee that always seemed to be available. He filled most of the cup with sugar and added a splash of coffee to go with it. He hadn't been drinking any at home since Addison had to stop. He took all of it out of the house, including the maker. She didn't know where he put it and he could tell that not having any was really starting to bother her.

"You look like you're about to fall over." Morgan made the comment when as Spencer moved into the room. He sat down, not giving the comment any mind and got ready for the information on the case.

Three missing women, two bodies and no suspects. Spencer was at his whits end. There wasn't any evidence that he could connect to anything concrete, mixed with his lack of sleep and the fact that he hasn't heard from Addison's nurse yet was slowly driving him insane. Every time his phone buzzed he would reach for it automatically. To most people it wouldn't be all that weird but to the agents who've had to remind him that the thing even went off found the anxiety leaking off the younger man a little odd.

"You expecting a phone call?" Sampson was the one to ask. Spencer wasn't sure how to feel about him. His face almost always looked angry. The question caused Spencer to jump slightly.

"I should be getting one soon." He answered, going back to staring at the map he had on a mobile white board. He was trying to find a connection to where he had dumped all the bodies. The only thing other then them all being very close was that fact that his apartment building was dead smack in the middle of them. He didn't like Addison being so close to all of it. As if thinking about her made what he was waiting for happened, his phone buzzed again, this time ringing. He excused himself and walked out of the briefing room where they decided to take up shop. He didn't feel the need to move any farther then about five feet away from the door.

"Hello?" He said into the receiver.

"Hi, this is Kathy. I'm the nurse that tended to Addison Winchester tonight." The women greeted. Addison thought it was a little redundant that they had to call Spencer when she could just tell him whatever they told her. But considering she labeled Spencer as her medical proxy he got what he wanted when it came to how he received information. It wasn't that he didn't think she could relay it, he just wanted to hear from the source and ask his questions without delay.

"Yes, is everything alright? Was there any major changes with her status?"

"It looked like her blood pressure is going back up like we thought. If it's any higher in the morning I feel it would be best to take her back to the hospital so they can keep a closer eye on her. I'm surprised that they haven't done it yet." Spencer could hear the honesty in her voice.

"Is it just her blood pressure?"

"She has some swelling in her ankles due to water retention, that's another thing I'm worried about. She seems to be in a good mood other then being a little tired. I wouldn't worry about her to much tonight but I'm making a note about taking her to the hospital in the morning for the next nurse. If the swelling in her ankles is worse as well as her BP then there is a very good chance that they will operate." That was exactly what he didn't want to hear.

"Did you tell her the possibility of them operating them tomorrow?"

"I told her that it could happen."

"Thanks." They ended the conversation at that and he went back to work. Addison hadn't called him, she normally didn't while he was at work, so he was pretty sure that she went back to sleep. That normally kept her from calling him. He did text Gideon to see if he would go stay with her tonight. He didn't want her being alone.

Now he had to worry about being with her at the hospital in the morning. Aaron told him to take as much time as he needed when it came to Addison's doctors appointments and Spencer had warned him that she could go into surgery almost at a moments notice and that he could have to leave at the same speed. Didn't matter where they were. He was a little thankful that it might happen when he was in town. Not all the way across the county. He set his phone down on the table and went back to focusing on the case. Both other agents looked at him oddly but Spencer didn't offer up any information and they didn't ask for any.

When Gideon came I had been sleeping on the couch. He brought some board games and cards with him. He didn't like using our deck of cards because he was convinced that Spencer and I rigged the deck somehow.

One thing that I liked about Gideon was that he never pushed for information. He waited until you wanted to talk about it before asking questions or making his assumptions know. When Spencer first introduced me to him, I had been very worried about him taking me right back to my father. Spencer assured me that he would make sure Gideon knew that my running away had been in my best interest.

He had helped Spencer get everything that he needed to help me heal, and he agreed not to ship me back home as long as I got off the drugs. He was patient about it, he understood that it wasn't something that would happen quickly and knew that I would have relapses and roadblocks. I considered Gideon just as much as a paternal figure in my life as Spencer did.

"How are you feeling?" He set the bag he brought down on the coffee table. I groggily moved my feet out of his way. I rubbed my eyes and yawned a few times before I realized that he was really hear. It was a feeling that I was unfamiliar with. Normally I would be shocked awake at the presence of a new person. Spencer was the only one that could sneak up on me while I was sleeping, I guess Gideon has been added onto that list.

"What?"

"How are you feeling?" His face held a small smile but I knew that was just his natural face around Spencer and I. I wasn't sure if he did it to cover something up or if we just relaxed him in a weird way.

"Peachy." He chuckled. "I want to leave this apartment and go somewhere else, anywhere else." I pushed my hair back out of my face only for the light blond hair to fall right back to where it was. "I hate this place." Something about living underneath and on top of someone else, having to pass people in a hallway just to get to my home made me angry. I didn't like having to watch the amount of noise I wanted to make, I didn't like having to walk down five flights of stairs just to get outside. If someone broke in here it would be nearly impossible to shoot them, there would always be the fear of the bullet going right through the wall and hitting an innocent person on the other side.

"Spencer was talking about looking for a new place after the lease on this one was up."

"I told him that we wouldn't be staying here for another two years. I don't even know why he signed it for two years to begin with." My voice was grouchy, even in my sleepy state I could hear it loud and clear.

"He been pretty worried about you."

"I've been worried about him. He hasn't been sleeping you know? He just watches me sleep, waiting for me to either not wake up or to start screaming. I don't know how to make him relax. I'm scared that he's going to work himself up to the point where he gets himself hurt, or worse, at work." I pulled my feet underneath me. "Hopefully once the kid pops out he'll take a few chill pills."

"I'm sure he'll relax once he doesn't feel that your life or well being is compromised." He reached into the bag that he brought with him and pulled out a pie. I couldn't tell what kind it was just from then tin but it didn't matter. He also pulled out a fork, handing both of them to me. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I happily took the items from his hands.

"Why thank you." I popped off the plastic top and dug right inside. He laughed again and leaned back in the couch. He waited what seemed to be a few minutes before saying anything else.

"Spencer told me the two of you were having a girl." The food in my mouth seemed to have a bit of extra gravity to it and fell right out of my mouth.

"He did?" I pushed the food to the edge of the tin and took another bite from the opposite side.

"He did."

"Well he's right. A little baby girl who will more then likely be arrested a good number of time before her 18th birthday if she's anything like me or my family." Gideon knew that my father never had a lot of respect for the law but he didn't know the extent in which he went out of his way to break it.

"I'm sure you and Spencer will give her the love and attention she needs to grow into a nice, respectable member of society."

"Are you saying that I'm not a respectable member of society?" I was being sarcastic but he gave me an answer anyway.

"You're getting there." His tone was teasing but at the same time I could hear the little bit of seriousness that was laying underneath. "But I really don't think you two have anything to worry about. Any kid would be lucky to have the two of you as parents. I also think that it would be a good idea to get in contact with your family, let them be involved with this part of your life. They might be more understanding then you think."

"You obviously have never met my father." I took another large bite. "My oldest brother listens to my father like he is God on earth. My other brother, I don't even know but I can't pick and choose who I contact, if I want one I get all three and I'm just not ready for all three."

"Actually, you might be able to." My face must have been question enough because he quickly added, "I did a little research, your brother Samuel is attending college in California at Stanford University." My look must not have changed. He reached into the bag he brought out a piece of paper. He handed it to me. It was a phone number.

"From what I can tell he doesn't seem to be in contact with the rest of your family. He's been there for about three years, almost four. I think that it would be a good idea for you to contact him, I think it would help you a lot more then you realize."

"You looked in my family?" I sat up straighter and I couldn't tell if I was angry or not. "Did Spencer know that you were doing this?" Now the answer to this question was going to be the deciding factor with my anger.

"No, I didn't talk about it with him, I didn't want to put him in the bad position of having to keep something from you in any way, shape, or form." I felt a little bit of the steam fall out. "Addison, I understand you have a lot on your plate at the moment but I really believe that talking to at least one member of your family could help with you nightmares and all the pent up guilt you have from leaving."

Should she contact Sam? If so what do you think his reaction should be? Remember, she had a lot of problems before she left and she left a lot of medication around the motel room. Just some food for thought.