"You don't have to go." Scorpius worried at his bottom lip. "Come with us to Italy. It won't be the same without you there any way."

We were on the train heading back home. This would be my first real summer, or any extended time really, home in a long time.

Scorpius had been quiet for most of the trip. I knew he was worried. He had been hovering… well, hovering more than usual, ever since we got back from the funeral.

Which meant weeks of Scorpius worriedly hovering.

There were perks. My homework was getting done in record time and I would definitely be passing my courses with no problems.

I think what was occurring could technically be called cheating. Scorpius had gone from checking over my essays to rewriting most of the major parts, to writing them and I just rewrote them in my own hand.

OK, definitely cheating. I could learn to live with that. There was no world I could imagine that I would ever care what year Goblins rebelled in.

"WHO would ever care about Goblin Rebellions?!" I glared down at our text book one day in the library, rolling my eyes as Madame Pince shushed me. That woman, I swear, WHY does she think libraries have to be still as a tomb? I got thrown out for asking that one day.

"My mother for one." Scorpius grinned. "I promise you, my mother cares more than anyone else I have ever met about the mere threat of a Goblin Rebellion. I promise you the very rumor of one keeps her up at night. It has since she was a little girl Dad says."

I looked at him a little dubiously. "That seems a very… specific… fear for a little girl."

"It went back to her early investments I think" Scorpius explained. "She would have lost everything if they went on strike, much less had a full rebellion. So oh yes, Mum cares."

It seemed strange but I guess we all had our strange little quirks and fears.

"I guess we all have things that scare us that seem weird to other people." I laughed a little. "I am terrified of glow worms."

Scorpius raised his eyebrows. "Glow worms? As in lampyris noctiluca?"

I nudged his shoulder laughing. "Yes professor. The little larva that shoots fire from its butt."

"It doesn't technically…" He stopped when I glared at him. "How fascinating. Go on..."

"When I was a baby one was over my crib." I shuddered "I was too young to really remember, it is one of the only memories I have of my mother, she had to come catch it and take it away. I have hated them ever since."

All of this extra "help" was becoming really important. Professor Slughorn was really grilling me on potions. If I wanted to have any shot at all in that competition each potion I brewed had to have something a little extra. It was not enough that they be brewed perfectly. They had to be positively inspired. If the affects were meant to last five minutes mine must last five and a half minutes.

A healing potion meant to reduce the affects of a cold by a noticeable 75% must cure it completely. And as every single person knows there is NO cure for the common cold. This is just as true for wizards as it is for muggles. Magic still has rules, it is not meant to be a miracle!

But Scorpius even followed me to my extra potion lessons.

In fact, he followed me everywhere.

More than usual even, and we were pretty much together all the time anyway. Albus teased me once that I was going to have to use engorgio on Amata's bed so Scorpius could share it.

And all of this in spite of that fact that not a single credible threat had been made against my person.

Unless you counted Nigel.

Even though I knew how much he was not exactly a fan of spontaneous get togethers, or Quidditch, Scorpius had gone to the end of year Quidditch party with me to say goodbye to Nigel.

I could not believe how weepy I got over that scrawny geek nerd of a seeker graduating.

"I can't believe you will be gone." I sniffed a couple of times, looking sadly at Nigel. "Who will run me through my drills now?"

"I expect you to run yourself, Dursley! If you lose us the cup next year, I will personally curse your broom to give your arse splinters every time you sit on it Dursley." Nigel warned me.

That had dried the tears up pretty quickly. Nothing like a good threat of arse splinters to make one very deeply focused and determined not to cost us the house cup!

But back to trying to reassure my best friend those assassins were not waiting to leap out at me from beneath my childhood bed.

Given the crap I usually shoved under there I doubt there would have been room for an assassin over two feet tall anyway. I am pretty sure I can handle a toddler assassin.

"I have to do this Scorp." I gave him a one armed side hug. "Besides, your trip will be exactly the same. I have only been there with you once, and that was only for a couple of weeks."

"It won't feel the same." He shrugged. "I mean just in general, you will be gone."

When he had shrugged my arm had slipped from his shoulder to around his waist. I could feel my cheeks getting warm and my heart started beating just a little bit faster.

What in Merlin's name was WRONG with me?

"Scorp, I have to talk to my father." I tried again to explain. "I mean… he is my FATHER, you know? Plus Angus, I hardly ever see my brother, and I am always with you and Albus. And you know I want to be with you… you and Albus… both of you… together not just… I mean of course I like it when it is just us two… or just me and Albus too… I mean…" Why could I NOT stop talking? Was it a curse?! "But I want to see my brother too."

Now why was my face all red and why was Albus snickering? I was probably just feeling weird from where my arm was still resting and Albus laughing at my discomfort didn't help. At least Scorpius didn't seem to have noticed anything off.

"But what if it all goes really bad and you are stuck there by yourself?" Scorpius was determined to worry himself in to a state about this.

Soooo much better than him asking why I had suddenly turned in to a babbling idiot and why my arm was inches above his… nope. Not thinking about where my arm is. Would removing it be more or less awkward? HOW did I get myself in this situation? And where was that damned Trolley Witch? At least then I would have an excuse to get up and do something else!

I forced a cheerful smile. "I am going to have an amazing summer at home! I will be having so much fun with… you know everything and everyone!"

Scorpius snorted in disbelief.

Albus laughed right in my face. "Tell him the truth, Lils."

"OK, truthfully?" I shrugged. "It is going to be horrid. My father has no idea how to make up for the crappy way he has treated me. Angus will be out with his friends and it will be me and Amata puttering around my house trying to forget my Mum died in our kitchen."

The choking sounds from my best friend told me that might have been a little much.

"Less truthful Lils." Albus shook his head. "Find a place BETWEEN fairytale princess and dead Mum sadness."

"Scorpius," I sighed. "This is my father and my brother. They are not monsters, just very uncertain how to express feelings. Not unlike my two best guy friends for that matter. Angus and I will spend the summer fighting over whose turn it is to do dishes, my father will be working. The summer will be just fine."

Just then we heard from the doorway "Anything from the trolley, dears?"

I shot up so fast you'd have thought there was a rocket attached to my bum! Would it have made this any MORE awkward if I had hugged that old witch and kissed her right on the mouth? I restrained myself. Enough of living the awkward life. At least for today Starting right now.

"Yes! I definitely want…."I had no idea what I wanted. To get out of an uncomfortable situation mostly. The Trolley Witch was patient though. She just smiled at me. I grabbed a lot of stuff.

Albus' eyes widened when he saw my haul. "It is a good thing you get a lot of exercise, Lils. Did you leave anything for anyone else?"

"I… uh…" I looked down embarrassed at my arm loads of sweets.

"Lay off Albus." Scorpius opened a book. "She has a brother and friends at home who don't get any of this stuff, remember?"

Albus laughed. "I know, Scorp, I was just… you know, having a gaff and…" He stopped when Scorpius just glared at him and went back to his book.

Albus and I played cards until it was time to change. I had to get in to acceptable muggle clothes, just a plain button up shirt, jeans and trainers. My entire look said "Nothing to see here. No witch exists under this perfectly normal outfit, move along."

I had to put my wand in my trunk. I really didn't like that but muggles were not going to be OK with it on the thigh holster I normally keep it in. My thigh felt naked without the holster. I kept reaching down to rub the spot where the familiar weight should be. It felt indecent to be walking around without it. Like I hadn't any knickers on.

When we got off the train our families were all there. I saw father and Angus right away. They weren't the only muggles, Hogwarts has lots of muggleborns. Or maybe half born in my case. I am not really sure what I am any more since my mother was probably a squib. I mean no one gives up all of this to go live in Little Whinging of all places.

Father was standing far more comfortably than I had ever seen him next to Uncle Harry and Uncle Ron, who waved at me in his usual enthusiastic manner. I couldn't help but smile and wave back. Uncle Ron was the first person who had genuinely gone out of his was to make sure I always felt like I fit in. I never felt like anyone over shadowed me.

"How's my favorite Dursley?" He called out. "I hear you are going to be the only seeker for your house this year. Figure you stand a good chance at the cup?"

"Well, as good as any." I called back. "Nigel sure trained me hard. I am ready for it."

Scorpius and I looked at each other for a long time. He finally pulled me in for a good bye hug. "If anything goes wrong, owl me. We will come get you no matter where we are." He promised.

"I will." I assured him. "But nothing is going to go wrong. Just very uncomfortably."

He finally let me go and I hugged Albus. "See ya, Lils. And don't worry, I will look out for Scorpius."

I nodded and went to greet my father and Angus.

"You and that boy seem very..." Father hesitated. "Friendly."

I looked back to where he was watching Scorpius. "Of course we are friendly. All three of us are. They are my best friends."

Angus grinned like a loon. "Yeah but that one Scorpius, he's your booooyfriend."

"No!" I all but shouted at him. "He is my friend who is a boy."

"Good, you are much too young for boyfriends and all of that." Father sounded relieved.

We got home with no more talk of boyfriends for which I was incredibly grateful.

Angus went to his room and I went to the kitchen to put on a kettle for tea.

Father came in looking very uncomfortable. "Lilliana… about your grandparents. Your grandmother… she was very ill in the end. I am so sorry we couldn't have you home more but her doctors did not want her having any more stress and well with your being a…" he hesitated.

"A witch." I finished for him

"Yes. A…" He started quiet but in a much firmer, stronger voice finished "a witch. She would have been distressed. Your grandfather, and I felt it was in her best interest to…" He did not seem to know how to tell me that I would not have been welcome.

I let him off the hook for that part. "It is fine father. But tell me truthfully. Even if she had not been ill, would she have wanted me around?"

He opened and closed his mouth uncertainly a few times. Finally he said sadly. "No, I am sorry Lilliana, but the truth is no she would not have. But I want you here. You are my daughter and I love you very much. With your grandmother so ill all of my attention was on her. I had to take time off of work to care for her and I could not have cared for you as well. You were better off with the rest of your family than here with me. But that will never happen again. I hope you can forgive me for making you feel unwanted."

I understood. It was sad and painful, but at least he didn't lie to me. "I understand father. Thank you for explaining."

The next few months were just as I described on the train. Father had to make up for the time he took off work. I think Angus was getting in trouble with friends, He became secretive and I think he was sneaking out. Pretty normal stuff.

So he wouldn't worry I owled both Scorpius and Albus at least once a week.