Something about staring at the light blue sheet and knowing that they were cutting me open on the other side of the sheet put me off. They let Spencer inside the room and I could tell that he was having a hard time as well. He was sitting in a chair next to my head, one hand in mine and the other one was moving periodically though my hair. He was mumbling things softy; I caught a few quotes here and there that I recognized but he moved onto the next one before I had a chance to place them.

"Everything's going to be alright." I said, squeezing his hand tighter. I couldn't feel anything lower then my chest. Even the tips of my fingers were a little numb. The medication they had me on felt like a thick fog inside my mind. I could only focus on one thing at a time, but it didn't seem like I had a choice on what my mind chose to focus on. He didn't say anything. He almost seemed more worried then I felt. I knew that he was worried about his mother's sickness getting not only passed down to him, but also to our daughter. I didn't know how to make him feel better about that. I couldn't tell him that there wasn't a chance because there is, a small chance, but it's there. I tried reminding him about that, but he always found a way to make it seem more plausible.

When they were prepping me, one of my nurses was telling me about the procedure, one that she's had before. She had told me that she was confidant our kid would come out fine. She had overseen the ultrasounds and said that everything looked okay, in fact she said it looked better then what they were making to out to be. That she had seen worse cases have happy endings. Spencer liked hearing the news but that didn't stop him from sweating bullets right beside me as they took a sharp knife to my gut.

Him and I hadn't talked much about the actual baby. The only things that him and I got for her was a crib, some clothes and a few packs of diapers. This still didn't seem real to the two of us. The sound of doctors moving around and talking hurriedly on the other side of the curtain pulled me from my thoughts. The sound of crying followed.

"What's going on? Crying's good right?" I pulled on Spencer's hand even though I already had his attention. He peered around the sheet, looking over what was going on. He came back around after a few seconds.

"Everything's fine, they need to make sure she's okay. Yes, crying's good." That didn't stop my panic though. He sat back down. "Calm down." His attitude seemed to do a whole 180. He was suddenly calm and ready. The doctors were still talking to one another and there was still crying.

"Go to her." I pushed his arm towards the sheet.

"Add-"

"I'll calm down if you're with her." That worked, and he moved back on the other side of the curtain. I tried to do as I said I would, but it was harder then I thought. I forced myself to focus on the crying. As long as she was crying, then everything would be okay. She's breathing. I heard Spencer talking but for the life of me, I couldn't make out the words. After what felt like years Spencer reappeared on my side of the curtain, this time a small bundle in his arms. I found myself trying to sit up, only for the doctor to say something on the other side and I remembered they had cut me open on the other side. Spencer sat back down in his chair.

She was still screaming her head off, her face a bright red charry color. Her fists were balled up tightly that she moved around as she saw fit. I would have asked to hold her, but I didn't trust the numbness in my hands to support her, so I settled with touching her, her face, her arms, anywhere. I would have thought her being safely in front of me would calm me down, but I felt an entirely new emotion fill me completely. It was suddenly very real. I could see her in his arms, I could touch her with my fingers, I could hear her cries.

Fear ate at my chest; how could I take care of her? She was so tiny, so delicate and helpless. I don't know how long we sat there before the doctors wanted to take her and move me back into my room. They were taking her into the nursey where they were going to run some tests. Part of me wanted to take her out of the nurse's hands and not let her leave the room but Spencer wrapped a hand in mine.

"They'll bring her back." He assured.

0000

The pain medication wore off less then five hours after they got me back into my room. I slept for most of it. Each time I woke up, more pain pulsed though my body then the time before. Spencer was there each time I woke up, sitting in the chair next to me. I remember him holding the baby some of the time as well. Spencer held true to not letting them put me on any more medication and even though I would have been happy to have it, I was thankful that he was there to keep my thoughts straight and remind me why I didn't need it. Gideon had wanted to stay from what I understand but now that Spencer was here, he no longer had a reason to give them. As much as Spencer considered him a father figure, he had no blood relation to me or our daughter. So, he had to go into work.

"Hey." Spencer's voice pulled my sleep ridden attention onto him. I wasn't sure what time it was, and I didn't know how long I had been asleep. Spencer was sitting in the chair next to my bed, it didn't look very comfortable. Had I been in less pain, I would have offered to let him in bed with me. I glanced around the room, looking for the baby we have yet to think of a name for. "They're just doing some routine tests." He said calmly. "The nurse will bring her back as soon as possible." Despite the happy look on his face, I could see the puffy bags under his eyes.

"Is she okay?"

"Doctor said she was perfectly healthy. She's a good weight for premature, she can breathe on her own, she's having a little difficultly keeping her body temperature, but I've been holding her most of the time. That's been working." This was the calmest I have seen him since we found out about being pregnant. It was like a gigantic weight had been lifted off his shoulders and for me it felt like three hundred pounds had been added onto mine.

Six months, that's all the time I had until the bastard came. It didn't matter how much Spencer said it wouldn't, he didn't know. I could explain the supernatural to him all he wants, and he still wouldn't be able to grasp the feeling I had burning away at my heart. I didn't realize I was crying until he started brushing tears away.

"We'll figure everything out." He assured.

"I want to see her." Just as I said it, the nurse came back into the room. A sleeping baby in her hands. The nurse, Amelia, smiled at me brightly.

"It's nice to see you awake." I didn't even have to reach my hands out for her to know what I wanted. Her skin was so soft, I felt like my touching her would break her into a million pieces. She had very thin baby hair on the top of her head, and she slept with her lips parted in what looked to be a perfect 'o'. Spencer was right about her being a nice weight, her cheeks were beyond chubby, and her arms and legs matched. A noise resembling a giggle left my lips.

"What is it?" Spencer questioned softly, almost like he didn't want to interrupt.

"She's so chubby." I grazed my thumb over her cheek, "and it's freaking adorable." Spencer joined in my amusement, pulling his chair even closer to the bed. Also reaching out to touch her.

"We need to think of a name."

0000

Sam's flight ended up with a three-hour layover, he tried to text Addison to let her know, but she didn't answer. When he finally got on the flight that would take him to his desired town he was ready to snap on someone. It felt like the longer he took, the less likely she would be there when he arrived, even though she blatantly admitted that she couldn't leave the hospital for whatever reason.

He also had time to really think everything over. He needed to keep in mind that the person he was going to see was his sister, but it had been a very long time since he had spoken to her last. He didn't know what to expect but he was hoping that he could keep the meeting as civilized as possible. From the way she was speaking to him, it sounded like that's what she wanted as well. He was also prepared for the worst. There was a huge chance that she's been on heavy drugs for the last five years like she had been before, and he was completely prepared to figure out the best way to get her into a better situation.

Jess had been pretty supportive in him coming. Sam had told her about Addison, that she had up and disappeared. He hadn't gone into the details about the drugs, but Jess had guessed as much, based on the stories Sam had shared about his father.

When his plane landed he didn't expect someone to be waiting for him and all he had on him was carry on. He didn't even stop at the bathroom before finding the exit and hailing a taxi. The driver had tried to speak to him, but Sam wasn't in the right frame of mind to hold a decent conversation. The hospital was also very close to the air port so even though Sam had had hours to prepare himself for this meeting, he found the short car ride to be far to quick.

"Here ya go." Sam jumped in the backseat, realizing that it was time.

"Thanks." He tipped the driver more than he normally would, feeling bad for the shortness that Sam had shown him. Sam's heartbeat scared him slightly as he made his way into the elevator, hitting the floor that she had given him. Hearing her voice was one thing, seeing her in person after thinking she was dead for so long was going to be…. he couldn't think of a word to describe it.

When he stepped out of the metal box, he was more then surprised to find himself in the maternity ward. He mindlessly moved to the front desk where he was supposed to check in or something. He would have thought to do that down stairs, but he had been so distracted he went straight to the elevator.

"What can I do for you sir?" The woman at the front desk questioned, smiling up at him while Sam forced on in return.

"I'm uh…. looking for my sister." He said, his tone becoming more confident by the time he finished his small sentence. "Addison Winchester." She nodded, typing the name into her computer.

"She will be down this hall," She pointed to her left. "In room 241. It will be on your right." She smiled, and Sam moved in the direction she sent him. As the numbers on the doors increased, Sam felt his heart begin to beat faster. He became more anxious. He was scared of what he was going to find but at the same time was more then happy to know that she was alive. That she was okay enough to call and speak to him in a clear manner. He found the room, it was the only one that had an open door.

He could hear talking inside, he recognized Addison's voice but there was also a man's that he didn't. He wasn't sure if he should just walk in or if he should knock. Part of him just wanted to listen to her. It took him almost a full five minutes before he moved in front of the open door, knocking his knuckles against it to grab the attention of the people inside. Sam and Addison watched one another for what felt like years. Nether of them knew what to say.

He hadn't known what to expect but a baby sure wasn't on the list of possibilities. Yet, here she sat, all grown up, a baby wrapped up securely in her arms. Sam took a step closer, getting out of the doorway. The man sitting next to her cleared his throat.

"I think I'm going to grab some food." Addison didn't stop him. He kissed her on the head and brushed his fingers over the baby's cheek before moving around Sam and out the door. She wanted to ask him to take the baby, but her head and her body disagreed because she made no move to question it.

"Who…." Sam asked after he was out of earshot.

"That's Spencer…." She licked her lips nervously. Sam took another step closer to the bed, not knowing what to do. It was one of the most awkward situations that he had ever found himself in. The tension in the room was getting to Addison as well. "You can uh…you can sit down." She chewed on the inside of her lip. He set his bag down on the floor at the foot of the bed and sat in the seat the man had been in before.

"Is that…your baby?" Sam looked at the sleeping infant.

"Yes." If Sam's mind hadn't been completely blown by the information overload he's received in this short amount of time, it sure was now. Addison could tell it was a lot to take in and she didn't want to overwhelm him. She wanted this to go as smoothly as possible, and so far, it was. No yelling was good. "She was a bit of a surprise." She thought about asking him some questions about school, getting the conversation going but it was like something in her mouth refused to let her speak. She couldn't form a question in her mind. "Would you like to hold her?" She didn't even realize she was asking until she heard herself talk.

"I uh…I don't think that would be a good idea, I'd probably drop her." He shook his head.

"I don't think you will," Addison said, "then again if I wasn't laying down right now I would probably drop her to. So, don't feel bad." Sam let out an awkward laugh. "We haven't thought of a name yet, there was a lot of…stuff going on at the time." Sam just listened to her speak. She didn't talk nearly this much while she had been with them, hell, trying to get her to say anything was like pulling teeth. "Spencer mentioned a few names, but I think they're boring. She needed something badass."

"Badass?" Sam smiled.

"Yeah!" She nodded. "Something tough. I don't know."

"How long have you and uh, Spencer been together?"

"I've known him for almost five years, but we've only been together for two." They were now getting into the questioning portion of the visit and Addison was becoming more nervous. She didn't want to talk about the drugs. She hadn't explained herself in a long time and when she had before, it hadn't been someone she abandoned.

"So, the whole time?"

"Yeah, I met him about a month after I left. He was getting attacked by a werewolf. I had been…" she took a deep breath, "I had been looking for a case to…I didn't want to make it out in the end. Dad had always said that killing yourself was a copout, so I was going to find something to do it for me." Sam kept quiet, but his body tensed up. "But I killed the damn thing and got cut up pretty bad. Spencer didn't have any idea what was going on, so he took me back to his house." She shrugged, and the action caused her to flinch from the pain in her abdomen.

"What's wrong?"

"I just had surgery." She explained, "they cut her out of me. The pain meds wore off."

"Do you want me to get a doctor?"

"No, I don't need any." She shook her head, keeping her body still until shocks of pain subsided to a tolerable level. She took shallow breaths and softly lied back into the pillows.

"Maybe you should-"

"I don't need them." She said in a hard tone. "I'm fine…its better if I just don't." Her voice sounded strained and a little breathy. Sam suddenly understood her reasoning behind it. He licked his lips. "Just ask." She said, watching his face, "lets just rip the band-aid off."

"The drugs." He said, "we found a lot in the bathroom and some in your bags." He wasn't sure what he wanted to know but her explanation might answer the question.

"Yeah…I…I was. They helped with the nightmares I was having. I would either get so high that I just passed out into a dreamless sleep or…I don't know. It was a distraction from all the monsters. That's not an excuse, there were better ways I could have helped myself but at the time it was the only thing I thought would help."

"We should have payed more attention and did something about it, you shouldn't have had to handle it on your own, you were a kid. Looking back there were some warning signs we didn't think about. You were just so detached, you didn't talk, you never smiled, we just…Dad refused to get you help, all he did was make it worse by letting you drink." They were silent for a minute.

"Spencer helped me." She said, she felt the need to make sure Sam liked him. She knew that Spencer was worried about it slightly. It wasn't like the Winchesters were the most welcoming people in the world. Addison herself tended to come off as rough and mean when first meeting someone. Sam was probably the warmest out of all of them.

"He did?"

"Yeah…he, he has a sort of mentor in the FBI, Jason Gideon. Well, when Spencer introduced me to him, it he was obviously wondering where my parents were and it's not like I was old enough to claim emancipation and he had the resources to check if I was for real anyway. So, I told him the truth and asked him not to report me."

"Isn't that really illegal?" Sam asked even though he knew the answer.

"Yeah, but he realized that it going back would be the worst thing for me at the time, so he made me a deal. He said if I got off the drugs he would make sure that I didn't get caught, get me into school and anything else I needed." She took a deep breath and made a small grimace. "Spencer helped me…he helped me stay off them, took care of me as I detoxed. It was really hard. I've, been on my own for five years but I've only been completely clean for a little over a year."

"But you're clean now."

"Yeah…I'm clean."

"I brought you some water." Spencer appeared in front of the doorway, holding a bottle of water, "I spoke to your doctor, he said it should be fine." Addison could tell that he wasn't sure if he should have come just yet, but he wanted to check on her, make sure everything was going okay.

"Thanks." He took that as an okay to come in. He moved to the other side of the bed where Sam wasn't and gave the both of them a strained smile. He didn't know what he was supposed to be doing. Sam wasn't sure what he was supposed to do either, he and Dean had spoken once or twice about what would happen if she ever started dating. Dean was fully prepared to just threaten them to the point where they left her alone. Sam didn't think that was fare though. Not when he could tell that this guy had a huge hand in her being alive today.

"Spence, this is Sam. Sam, Spencer." He traded the baby for the water. Addison was a little relieved to have her hands free and the weight off her chest. At the same time, she liked holding her and didn't want to let her go. Spencer was happy to hold her, it also got rid of the option of shaking hands. Something Spencer hated doing and dreaded the altercation where he would have to just wave and hope they didn't get offended.

"I uh." Spencer started, "Addi's told me a lot about you. She has….nice memories with you."

YAY Next chapter. Tell me what you think.

If you read the original story you know that their daughter ended up being named Aella. I'm going to give you guys a chance to change it if you didn't like that name. So if you don't care or like the original name let me know. If you have a name that you like you can leave it in the reviews as well. Thanks for reading!