I really didn't want to drink any gross smelling potions that Delphi had brewed. They would have smelled just as bad if I had brewed them but at least I would know I had not poisoned us.

On purpose.

Scorpius was squinting at the bottle. "So we just take it?"

Albus rolled his eyes. "Scorpius, do I really need to explain to you — übergeek and Potions expert — what Polyjuice does? Thanks to Delphi's brilliant preparation work, we are going to take this potion and be transformed, and thus disguised we will be able to enter the Ministry of Magic."

I barely resisted gagging at "Delphi's brilliant preparation work". I was actually beginning to hate this woman. Or maybe just Albus' obsession with her. I knew it was unfair. Someday he would get a girlfriend and it wouldn't be just the three of us anymore.

But not THIS girlfriend. She was too old. And too creepy. And too… off.

Scorpius took a sniff. "Okay, two points, one, is it painful?"

Delphi had the nerve to smile. "Very, as I understand it."

Scorpius paled. "Thank you. Good to know. Second point: Do either of you know what Polyjuice tastes of? Because I've heard it tastes of fish and if it does I will just vomit it back up. Fish doesn't agree with me. Never has. Never will."

Delphi knocked back the potion. "Consider us warned. It doesn't taste of fish." She begins to transform. It's clearly agonizing. "Actually it tastes quite pleasant, yum. It is painful but… Take it back. There is a… slight… slight, overpowering, fishy residue." She transformed in to Hermione.

Albus was in awe. "Okay, that's… wow."

Scorpius was just as amazed. "Double wow."

Et tu, Scorpius? I was not making any sort of wow exclamation about how cool her potion was.

Delphi looked at her hands. "This really doesn't feel how I… I even sound like her! Triple wow."

They all looked at me waiting. "You brought a potion you had never tested before? How is that a wow?"

Albus blinked. "OK, harsh. Right. Me next."

Scorpius shook his head he puts on a pair of familiar looking glasses with a smile. "No. No way, José. If we're doing this, we're all doing it together."

I nodded. "Together. That is how we do everything Albus. The three of us." I emphasized the last part for the harpy's benefit. We are NOT a foursome.

We linked arms. One for all and all for one.

I looked at my two best friends. "OK, Three. Two. One." We all drank.

"No, that's good." Scorpius coughed.

There was a lot of pain. "That's less good." Albus mumbled.

The three of us start to transform and it's agonizing. Albus turns into Uncle Ron, Scorpius into Uncle Harry and I in to Aunt Aly. We look at each other. There's a silence.

Albus/Ron rubs his face feeling his new beard. "This is going to be slightly weird, isn't it?"

Scorpius/Harry was clearly in the mood to enjoy himself. "Go to your room. Go straight to your room. You've been an incredibly awful and bad son."

"Scorpius…" Albus/Ron laughed.

"It was your idea." Scorpius/Harry reminded him. "I be him and you be Ron! Lils gets to be Aunt Aly I just want to have a little fun before I…" Scorpius/Harry let out an awful belch. "Okay, so that's utterly horrible."

I shook my head. "Classy. Real classy."

Albus/Ron patted his middle. "You know, he hides it well, but Uncle Ron's got a bit of a gut growing."

I stretched. "Aunt Aly is amazing. I don't know how she does it but she is in really great shape."

"My Dad too." Scorpius/Harry nodded. "They must do something together that keeps them looking so healthy."

We both realized what that could be at the same time and blushed.

Delphi/Hermione interrupted us. "We should go, don't you think?"

It was the first time I was actually grateful for her interference.

Once we got on to the street we found a muggle telephone booth outside of the Ministry. I turned to to Scorpius/Harry. "How could you not have known what a telephone was when we met? That is literally how you get in to the Ministry.!

"OK, two points." Scorpius/Harry. "One I had never been to the Ministry…"

"Never mind that now." Delphi/Hermione practically shoved us in to the phone booth.

A mechanical voice called out. "Welcome, Harry Potter. Welcome, Hermione Granger. Welcome, Ron Weasley."

Albus/Ron punched in 62442.

"OH!" I looked over his shoulder. "MAGIC."

"Why yes, Lils, welcome to the wonderful world of witches and wizards." Scorpius/Harry laughed.

"No, silly. I pointed to the number pad. "62442 spells MAGIC. Muggles often spell things out on their phone pads. See the letters?"

"Wow. I had never noticed that." Scorpius/Harry looked excited at the number pad. I knew he would like a little trivia. We smiled at each other as the telephone box disappeared into the floor.

It did not take us long to find Aunt Hermione's office.

Scorpius/Harry. "And you're sure it's in there?"

A guard walked past. Scorpius/Harry and Delphi/Hermione did a terrible performance of their counter parts..

"Yes, Minister," Scorpius/Harry" I definitely think this is a matter for the Ministry to ponder at length, yes."

Albus/Ron and I tried to look anywhere else.

Fortunately the guard was distracted or stupid and just walked by with a nod. "Minister."

Delphi/Hermione "Let's ponder it together." He walks on. They let out a sigh of relief. "It was my uncle's idea to use the Veritaserum. We slipped it into a visiting Ministry official's drink. He told us that the Time-Turner had been kept and even told us where the office of the Minister for Magic herself is located.

We heard voices coming from down the hall.

Hermione, the REAL Hermione "Harry… we should talk about it…"

The real Harry "There's nothing to talk about."

"Oh No." Delphi/Hermione hissed.

Albus/Ron looked panic stricken. "Aunt Hermione. And Dad."

The panic is instant and infectious. We were in real trouble.

Scorpius/Harry looked around "Okay. Hiding places. No hiding places. Anyone know any Invisibility Charms?"

Delphi/Hermione looked at the door "Do we go… in her office?"

Albus/Ron shook his head. "She'll be coming to her office."

Delphi/Hermione shrugged. "There's nowhere else." She tried to open the door but it didn't budge.

Hermione's voice was getting closer. "If you don't talk to me or Ginny about it…"

Scorpius/Harry pulled his wand. "Stand back. Alohomora!" The door swings open. He grins "Albus. Block her. It has to be you."

Harry sounding MUCH closer now. "What is there to say?"

Albus/Ron squeaked. "Me. Why?"

"Well, it can't be either of us, can it?" Delphi/Hermione reasoned. "We are them."

Hermione sounding closer but also worried. "What you said was obviously wrong, but… there are more factors at play here than…"

Albus/Ron shook his head. "But I can't… I can't…"

There was nothing for it. I hated to do it but we shoved Albus out and shut the door. We could still hear everything that went on.

"Hermione, I'm grateful for your concern but there's no need…" Uncle Harry was right outside the door.

Aunt Hermione had just noticed Albus/Ron. "Ron?"

Albus/Ron doing a poor imitation of a plucky Uncle Ron. "Surprise!"

"What are you doing here?" Aunt Hermione sounded exasperated and amused by her "husband"

"Does a man need an excuse to see his wife?" Albus/Ron kissed Aunt Hermione loud enough for us to hear.

Scorpius and I looked at each other horrified.

Uncle Harry sounded as uncomfortable as we felt. Almost as uncomfortable. "I should go…"

Aunt Hermione had her no-nonsense tome on. "Harry. My point is… whatever Draco says, the things you said to Albus… I don't think it'll do any of us any good for you to dwell on it."

Scorpius and I frowned at one another. Uncle Harry and Uncle Draco rarely argued. What could Uncle Harry have said so bad that Uncle Draco would get mad about it?

Albus/Ron "Oh, you're talking about how Harry said sometimes he wished I er….Albus weren't his son."

Scorpius and I looked at each other sick. Yeah… that would do it. Uncle Draco was all about family.

"Ron!" Aunt Hermione chided his insensitivity.

Albus/Ron tried to sound flippant, we knew differently. "Better out than in, that's what I say."

Aunt Hermione tried to comfort Uncle Harry. "He'll know. We all say stuff we don't mean. He knows that.

"But what if sometimes we say stuff we do mean. What then?" Albus/Ron asked. Scorpius and I just looked at each other and grimaced.

"Ron, now's not the time, honestly." Aunt Hermione was starting to really getting annoyed.

"Of course it isn't." Albus/Ron seemed to understand he was pushing it. Finally! "Bye-bye, darling."

We hoped that they would walk on but clearly they weren't going to. "Why are you blocking the entrance to my office?" Aunt Hermione asked."

"I'm not. Blocking. Anything." Albus/Ron's voice came out stuttered. What was he doing?

Aunt Hermione was getting well annoyed. "You are. Let me into my room, Ron."

"Let's have another baby." Albus/Ron blurted out.

Aunt Hermione sputtered. "What?" I was on HER side.

"Or if not another baby, a holiday. I want a baby or a holiday and I'm going to insist on it. Shall we talk about it later, honey?" Or for the love of Merlin.

We heard Albus/Ron kiss her again. "Maybe with a drink in the Leaky Cauldron? Love you."

Gross how many times had he stood there and kissed his Aunt?

Aunt Hermione finally gave up. "If there is another stink pellet in there then Merlin won't help you. Fine. We're due to update the Muggles anyway."

Uncle Ro put stink bombs in Aunt Hermione's office. That could not have gone over well.

We heard Albus/Ron's hand on the door when he voice came back. "A baby OR a holiday? Some days you are off the scale, you know that?"

" It's why you married me, isn't it? My puckish sense of fun." Albus opened the door only to shut it again.

Stink bombs and not even all THAT surprised by baby OR holiday? I would have gone with temporary insanity.

Aunt Hermione came back one last time. "I can taste fish. I told you to stay away from those fishfinger sandwiches."

Given the paunch Albus noticed I had to agree with Aunt Hermione.

"Right you are." Finally Albus slid inside and closed the door firmly behind him.

...