ii. puncture

She is standing in the park where they originally met, singing a tune to herself. Anyone that is acquainted with her knows that she wasn't graced with her mother's voice. But, Hyne, to him her song is of a siren's. He reaches his hand out to touch her shoulder, longing to hold her like he use to. He wants to tell her how sorry he is, how much he needs her.

But there is darkness around him.

She's gone. He is alone again, and the song he hears turns into shrieks and howls. He feels a warm sensation on his fingertips. He focuses his gaze downwards to find his hands covered in blood. He sees her corpse in front of him and drops to his knees. His gunblade is in her heart. He impaled her. He is to blame.

Every night he wishes he did die in the war.

-xx-

Seifer had made progress. After four months he was given clearance to be released back into normal housing in Garden. But Garden is the last place in the world that Seifer Almasy wants to be in. The SeeDs, new and old, look at him with contempt, some of the younger ones are afraid of him. Trepe gives him fake kindness. Leonhart pities him. Raijin and Fujin are the same and act like nothing has changed, even though everything has changed.

"Do you still have nightmares?" she asked him as they sat together in the quad between morning classes. She was wearing a quartz pink sundress with a grey blazer and beige sunglasses that were too big for her face but, if you asked her, were the style now.

Rinoa Heartilly continued to spend time with him, despite Dr. Kadowaki insisting that he made a full recovery. They both seemed to struggle with life after the war and their place in Garden.

"Not as often, but it use to be every night," he replied as he scratched the scruff of Angelo's neck.

"It's like she's still here," Rinoa declared a thought that made him nauseous. "I feel her, its like she's controlling my dreams but Squall doesn't believe me."

As she handed him half of her bagel, Seifer's hand caught her wrist before she could react fast enough. He doesn't want to let go.

"I believe you, I feel her too."

-xx-

She often dreams of being stuck in time compression. The nightmare is the same. She's trying to make her way back to Squall, but is too late. Squall is dead and she's alone. She must go on without him. She must live with the guilt that she didn't make it in time.

But tonight the nightmare is different. She finds Squall alive in the darkness. He is breathing, but unconscious. She tries to wake him as she kneels beside him, cradling his head in her hands, brushing the brown locks from his face. This is the man that keeps her going, the man that she cannot live without.

But she feels the Sorceress nearby.

She sees Squall's gunblade a few feet away from them, and knows what must be done. She reaches for the gunblade, the weapon is heavy for her petite physique. But she doesn't care. Without hesitation, she uses all of her strength to stab Squall in the stomach.

When she wakes up screaming, Squall's face is inches from hers. He is sitting on top of her with his body weight holding her down. She sobs in his arms, telling him how sorry she is.

This is real. This is love.

But for a split second she wishes it was Seifer with her because only he understand the gravity of her nightmares.

-xx-