vi. betray
"Do you have everything?" Rinoa asks as she hands Squall his jacket.
She convinced him to stay in bed longer, to wait until the very last minute to get ready. Now, stuffing the remaining clothes in his suitcase, Squall finishes the last of his packing.
"Can you get my phone in the study?" he asks.
It's early Winter in Balamb. The air is becoming colder as the frigid months loom ahead. This is his last trip before the month long Winter Solstice holiday. It's the longest he will be away from her, a week in Galbadia.
He doesn't want to leave her alone for so long.
"Squall...what's this?" she asks holding a stack of papers.
"Seifer's transfer papers to Deling City University I had to sign," he answers taking his phone from her. "I thought you knew he was transferring this Spring."
"No, I haven't spoken to him in awhile," her voice cracks slightly, just enough for him to notice. "When does he leave?"
"I think the end of this week. Quistis is handling his check out."
The honking of the taxi outside interrupts their conversation and is his cue to depart. Squall pulls her close him, holding her a little tighter this time before he kisses her goodbye.
Something in his gut tells him to just cancel this trip.
-xx-
She waited and waited, not sure if she should see him. Rinoa knows she's stubborn, sometimes emotional, but she needs to know why he never told her. Tomorrow is Seifer's last day in Balamb, and she hates goodbyes. She bangs furiously on his door hoping he's there.
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
"Hold on I'm coming."
Her head hurts. Her heart hurts. She wants the confusion to go away.
"How much do I owe...Rinoa?!" Seifer answers the door in a bath towel equally as surprised as her. "Sorry, I thought you were delivery," he says as Rinoa walks right in his dorm like she owns the damn place.
"When were you going to tell me?" Rinoa demands taking in his empty dorm room. There's nothing left of him, just the generic Garden furniture and navy bed sheets he left out for the night. His suitcases are already packed by the honey-colored wooden desk.
"I tried to, but you blew me off," he retorts while shoving his legs through sweat pants and removing the towel to dry his sand colored hair. "Care to explain why you have been avoiding me?"
There's so much unsaid between them that needs to be spoken.
"Thought so," he quips. "Look Rin, I don't belong in Garden."
"I'm sorry," she apologizes, but knows the damage between them is done. "Let me buy your last meal here, it's the least I could do."
They split some Estherian take out and a bottle of wine while they watch bad movies. They laugh like old times, talk like nothing has changed, and for this picturesque evening it seems as if the war never happened. The minutes turn to hours and Rinoa looses track of time dozing off on Seifer's shoulder.
She's in a blissful sleep until the nightmares starts.
Rinoa awakes wrapped in Seifer's coat to the sound of screaming from the other room. The cries, the pain, the nightmares...it's him. She races from the couch to the bedroom to wake him.
"Seifer! Seifer! Seifer!" she yells shaking him. "It's a nightmare! It's just me!"
Seifer awakes jerking up so fast it's inhuman. He takes a minute to recognize his surroundings and that Rinoa is sitting by his side.
"I'm sorry," he mutters groggily. "Thank you."
It's dark with just the outside street lamp illuminating the shadows between them through his window. Her hands still cradle the back of his head. Even though he's awake, she won't let go; the trauma after a nightmare is too familiar to her.
"Seifer," she breaks the silence while breathing in his familiar scent. "What are your nightmares about?"
"It is the same each time," he says as his fingers caress her cheek. "They are about losing you."
-xx-
She's gone in the morning when he awakes.
The nightmare was a dream, but everything that happened last night was real. His room is now filled with memories of her that, in a few hours, he must leave. There are strands of her hair in his bathroom sink. Her mellifluous laughter echoes the walls of the living space and his bed sheets still have the subtle smell of honeysuckle from her perfume.
Last night was his chance to tell her how he felt, but the words escaped him when the unexpected caught him off guard, her lips meeting his. The taste of her was the same, sweet and enjoyable, except in the back of his mind a crushing thought brought him to reality.
Leonhart will crucify me if he finds out.
Seifer attempted to push Rinoa away as her arms wrapped around his bare chest bringing her body dangerously close to his. He pleaded with Rinoa telling her that they both would regret this in the morning as they broke, gasping for air, from each unhinged kiss they shared. Sure, he would love to piss on Leonhart and this would be one hell of a way as she undressed until she was in nothing but darkness and moonlight.
But if we do this it will be the end of me.
He tried telling himself that this was wrong, that they didn't belong together, as she let him take control while they were engulfed in each other's skin. The contours of her body still fit perfectly with his as it did years ago. Seifer tried to convince himself that this wasn't what he wanted while she cried out his name, in pleasure, over and over again, as he moved inside of her to the cadence of his choice.
He tried, but there are some sins that you commit that you can't come back from.
Seifer reaches across the bed wishing she was still there. He needs to get going, he needs to leave all of this behind before it's too late. Getting up to shower, he notices a note on his night stand.
When you're out there in the big city, don't forget about me because I won't forget about you.- Rin
-xx-
A/N: Just a few notes/disclaimers - the line in Seifer's section of "there are some sins that you commit that you can't come back from" is from the film The Drop. Also the note Rinoa writes to him is taken from Meiko's song "Big City".