x. the ballad of the broken
Pink roses are her favorite type of flower, at least that what he thought, so he went out and bought her a bouquet with elder flower, tree fern and delphinium. He's an asshole for yelling at her, and facing her after a fight is more terrifying than Cerberus' three heads. He enters their apartment and finds her cutting an apple at the kitchen counter; she won't look at him.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you like that," Squall says as he kisses the hollow corner of where her neck and shoulder meet. She refuses to acknowledge him or utter a word. "I had this crazy dream that you left me," he says placing the flowers on the counter next to her. "For Seifer," he forces a chuckle.
Rinoa's posture stiffens as she continues to slice the apple on the cutting board; still not meeting his gaze.
Why isn't she saying anything?
"It was just a stupid dream," he says with fake confidence even though he wouldn't admit to a soul that it shook him up.
What's wrong?
He waits, for what seems like an eternity, for her to agree with him, for her assure the uneasy feeling that his gut has had for weeks, no months now, that something was wrong.
"Rinoa," he calls her name, heart racing with anxiety.
"Squall, I..." Rinoa starts as she slowly turns around, and one look into her eyes he knows something wrong. Tears begin to trickle down her face, and he hates himself for wanting to hold her and dry her eyes.
"I..." she sniffs. Her fingers wrung together like tangled knots, and her cheeks are flushed red. "Seifer and I-"
"No..." he says stepping away from her disbelieving, shaking his head.
"I...I'm sorr-" she barely can manage to get words out between sobs.
This can't be real.
But it is, and no physical torture or anguish can compare to the pain that he feels inside his body right now. Squall stands frozen, motionless, processing everything as an imaginary knife stab his heart.
"When?" he questions scrutinizing her.
Hyne, why is he even asking this? What difference does it make?
Her eyes are swollen shut with hot tears still pouring down her cheeks. "Wh...When you were in Gal-badia." She inhales a gulp of air "La...last wi..winter."
How could you do this?
"Squall."
With him.
"Squall, please say something."
He feels the knife twisting deeper as the cracks of his broken heart grow larger and larger. His heart is shattered into millions of tiny pieces disintegrating into dust.
"Squall," she says in between sobs as endless silence stays between them. "Don't shut me out."
"Everything," he manages to articulate slowly, his heart is pounding so fast he swears its going to break his chest cavity. "Every little thing I worked for and built was for us, Rinoa, everything!" He punches the wall with his fist and one of Matron's paintings crashes to the ground breaking the silence that lingered after Squall's last word.
"Every-fucking-thing, Rinoa!" he screams. He grabs her shoulders and pauses for a second looking at her dead in the eye, "All of this was for you! How could you betray me like that? With Seifer of all fucking people!"
"I'm sorry!" she cries as she falls to her knees on the kitchen floor.
"I should have never let you help him, should have known better, should have saw the signs," Squall pauses observing Rinoa shaking on the kitchen floor. "The signs," he repeats. "Our bond, that means... Rinoa, do you know what you have done?"
"Why doesn't anyone believe in me as a sorceress, even you?" Rinoa shouts as she quickly picks herself up from the floor. "I can control the negative thoughts and power!"
"No you can't!" he argues with her. "Not without a knight," Squall pleads approaching her.
"Rinoa" he says softly touching her shoulder, but as soon as his fingers touch her skin her magic lunges him into the wall. The knife she used to cut the apple follows in his direction. He closes his eyes and barely dodges it as his left cheek is sliced stinging with a small amount of hot blood dripping down his face. Squall eyes open after the crash to Rinoa collapsing to the floor.
"Squall," she gasps for breath as he rushes to her side even after all of this. "I'm trying to control it, but I...I'm sorry, I never meant to-"
"Shhhh," he says cradling her. "I'm taking you to Matron."
-xx-
Everything I have ever loved, became everything I lost.
She observes him in Cid's old study reading an oversized textbook for school; Galbadia Civil and Procedure Law, it reads, and she can't help but smile at how her son continues to astound everyone around him, including herself.
"Seifer," she calls his name, but he doesn't answer engrossed in his book as dark clouds loom outside beyond the window. A nasty storm is brewing outside, she can feel it in her bones. Matron wraps her black shawl around her shoulders. Although it is late August, the winds have been colder and bitter.
"Seifer," she says his name louder this time interrupting his reading. "There's something bothering you, I can tell." Matron watches her son close his law book focusing his attention on her.
He's still hesitant, keeping his gaze anywhere but her directly in her eyes. Despite being a rebel without a cause, Seifer is the most passionate of her children. It never surprised her that fire was his element when he was enlisted in SeeD. For him to not be quick tongued on what is irritating him means whatever is bothering him must be profound.
"What is it?" she coaxes him as she sits next to him, hearing the booming thunder begin to crash the sky through bay windows of her parlor room. "You can tell me anything."
He's still reserved, very unlike her son. Impatience aside, his thirst for adventure overpowers any challenge he faces. He has overcome incredible odds with the world stacked against him, yet, like a Phoenix, he has risen out of ash and shattered dreams. A part of him died in the war, but he came back resilient, wiser and stronger than he was before. He suffered, he survived, and that is truest story of her eldest son.
"Matron," he enunciates slowly meeting her gaze. "I did something terrible that I can't take back," he sighs combing his hands through his hair. "And we're all going to pay for it."
-xx-
'You're in too deep this time, you know that?'
'I know...I know.'
"Matron!" he hears Squall gasp from the other room interrupting his thoughts replaying the conversation between him and Matron earlier. "It's Rinoa, we need your help! The bond, it's-"
"I know," Matron says putting a herbal towel over Rinoa's forehead as Squall lays her on the chocolate leather sectional. "Seifer told me everything."
"Wha-?!" Squall mumbles confused starring open mouth at Matron.
"Rinoa!" Seifer cries as he sprints over to her laying lifeless on the couch. "What happened to her?"
"You fucking bastard!" Squall yells as his peripheral vision picks up his adversary's movement, and instinctively seconds later Squall's fist slams into Seifer's jawline forcing the stoic blonde's face to the other side of his shoulder.
"I deserve that," Seifer says coolly as he rubs his jaw, his eyes still fixated on Rinoa.
"I should have had you executed when I had the chance!" Leonhart screams grabbing his shirt collar and slamming him straight into Matron's library wall. Dozens of books fall down on top of the tall blonde as he raises both of his arms to cover his head. Seifer slowly gets up to face Leonhart, but Commander Puberty has the upper hand and a fist full of fingers bashes his face to the other side with a trail of fresh blood spilling from his nose.
"She pitied you, and you took advantage of her kindness, seducing her with your bullshit!" Squall screams pinning Seifer down as he punches him in the face over and over again. In any other scenario Seifer wouldn't be caught dead letting Leonhart beat the shit out of him, but he deserves to be pummeled to the ground after the damaged he caused Rinoa. "I spared your worthless life!"
Seifer forces a kick from his free leg straight into Squall's gut knocking the air out of him. "I wish you didn't!" Seifer gurgles out as he slithers out of Leonhart's hold desperately trying to balancing himself. "Just put me outta my misery," he admits out loud to everyone, including himself, as he coughs up blood. "I should have died in the war."
"Enough!" Matron screams running between her two sons. "You two can murder each other later, we need to get Rinoa to Esthar before she wakes up. There might be a way to stop this."
-xx-