Please read my profile, for the reason as to why I haven't updated in a long while. I'm going to try and update more, hope this makes up for the long wait.

"Edward"

That one word, the word I had hoped to avoid forever. I was frozen to the spot as Paul practically man handled Connie out of his house. When he came back, I was still in the same spot as before.

"It's ok Bella" Paul soothed as he wrapped his arms around me. I was vaguely aware of his body heat wrapped around me as Edward's name repeated over and over again in my head.

Paul stepped back and stroked my cheeks and he looked into my eyes. He waited patiently for me to slowly (and I MEAN slowly) come around and focus on him. Once I did, I felt my heartbeat pick up, my breathing came out in gasps. I was full on panicking.

"Shh, it's ok" he chanted as he wrapped me up again. "Just focus on me Bella" he said as I gripped his shirt.

It took a while, but I eventually managed to slow my breathing and heart rate down.

"Are you ok?" he asked, I couldn't talk so I just nodded. He guided me to the bed and sat me down. He knelt in front of me as a played with my hands.

"Bella?" he said to me, I couldn't look at him.

Someone knocked on the door, Paul sighed and got up, I wasn't aware of anything until I heard my dad's voice. I stood up and walked towards the door. I could hear them talking.

"…. I'm worried about her Charlie" Paul said.

"Why? What's happened son?"

"I had a visitor waiting for us, not a welcomed one. When she found out who Bella was, she said some crude things and Bella slapped her."

"That's my girl" I smiled at what I imagined was the look on Charlie's face.

"Yeah" Paul chuckled "she is a lot like you" Charlie laughed.

"Anyway, Bella asked her who told her about her. All this woman did was say Edward and Bella pretty much freaked out. I dragged the woman out and when I got back to her and she was panicking. What happened with Edward?"

I held my breath; my dad didn't know anything as far as I was aware.

"She should be the one to tell you, not me" he said with a sigh.

I was confused, 'does he know?" I thought to myself 'that sounded like he knew.'

"Charlie, please. Whenever she gets to that part she panics or freezes."

"She's never told me what happened, but I knew." I gasped. I guess I was louder than I thought I had been.

"Bella?" Paul called, I walked through. Paul and Charlie watched me.

"How?" was all I could ask as I looked at him.

Charlie walked up to me and hugged me, he actually hugged me.

"I've always known kiddo, I'm a cop Bella. Afterwards, you changed. You flinched a lot, you wore lots of oversized clothes. You went from talking with Edward all day every day to avoiding even hearing his name."

Tears formed in my eyes.

"Plus, I've seen too many young girls in similar situations, so I knew."

Fresh tears flowed down my face as I hugged my dad. Sometimes he could be really dense, and the other times (like now) he seemed to know everything.

"You need to talk about it, Bella" he said to me. "I know it's painful, but you need to get it out or it will crush you"

I nodded; I knew he was right but the idea of telling either of them was too much. Charlie seemed to be reading my mind.

"How about talking to Sue, she is a registered nurse and she also works a couple of days at the centre as a counsellor. Many young girls and older women go through similar things and they talk to her" he suggested.

I thought about it and nodded, it sounded better than telling two men. Charlie smiled as I moved away to hug Paul. He got out his phone and rang Sue.

She came around almost immediately, Charlie made Paul leave the house. I smiled at the look on Paul's face, I could tell he wanted to stay and protect me.

I sat across the table at Sue, she didn't speak or get me too. Her long black hear flowed straight down, her dark eyes appeared soft and kind, I found myself smiling at her.

"Thank you for coming for the wedding" she said as she leaned over to grip my hand.

"Thanks for inviting me, and I'm sorry I didn't stay in the room that you had made ready for me" I said. Suddenly I felt really bad for not staying with her.

She looked at me confused "room? I mean I have a spare room for you to use, but I didn't get it ready specifically for you. It's always ready in case we have visitors." Now I was confused.

"Dad said that you had made me a room to stay in, you know so I could visit more" I explained, Sue shook her head with a sigh.

"I'm going to kill that man" she said.

I raised my eyebrows at her, I didn't know if I should laugh or not, I wanted too but still.

"Don't get me wrong, I would love to see you more. You know to get to know my, soon to be, stepdaughter. However, I never intended to give you your own room, one because you have your own home somewhere else with commitments and responsibilities, which means you maybe visit a few times a year. Two because I only have that spare room now because Leah has moved out. She got married to Quil, you know one of Jake's friends" to say I was surprised was an understatement.

"Leah married Quil?" I gasped. Sue laughed

"Yeah, I know right, they are the strangest pair. Leah is very aggressive where he is very passive, though it works for them. They even have a little one on the way, my first grandchild, I feel old" she said as she was laughing.

"If it's any consolation you don't look old enough to have a grandkid" I smiled, I was really warming up to her.

"Thank you, Bella" she smiled at me.

"Aren't we meant to be talking about something else?" I asked. I thought counsellors and therapists want you to talk about the problem, in great detail. Sue smirked at me.

"Are we? Well, I guess that's up to you. If you want to talk about it, go ahead. If not, then let's keep talking about anything else" she said.

"Just know that if or when you are ready to talk, I am here to listen, ok?" she gripped my hand again.

I nodded, suddenly I felt relaxed and calm around her. She gave off this soothing feeling, like I could speak about anything.

"Ok, I want to talk about it, I just don't know where to start" I explained feeling lost.

"Just start at the beginning" she offered.

I took a deep breath and I started ….

When I moved to live with dad, I met him on my first day of school. he was my science lab partner. I met a few others that day too, but he stood out. When I asked them about him, they made him sound so mysterious and forbidden.

Some of the girls talked about how he didn't date anyone from Forks, because no one was good enough for him. They said he wouldn't speak to anyone but his foster siblings.

He talked to me, not the first day but a few days later. He asked me silly questions about the weather and how I was liking it here. He would go days of avoiding me then talking to me.

People started to notice his interest in me, some became bitter towards me and others didn't care. When he finally asked me out, I readily agreed. By then I was sure I was in love with him. His siblings weren't too keen on us, that should have been a warning.

We spent loads of time together and we would text each other all the time. Eventually, I lost most if not all the friendships I had made at the beginning, that should have been another clue.

I hadn't realised it at the time but, aside from my father, Edward made sure I had no one else but him. Then one day during the summer holidays before senior year started, Angela called. She was a friend from school, she wanted to know if I wanted to hang out. As for as I knew I wasn't seeing Edward as he had a family thing. So, I agreed.

I saw him the next day at his house, his family was away. The moment I stepped into the from door, I knew something was off. He was sat at his piano playing, which wasn't strange. I called out to him and he instantly stopped. He glared at me, it looked frightening.

"Where were you yesterday?" he demanded. I told him where I was, and he stood up kicking the stool back. He grabbed my arm and hit me. He actually hit me; I remember feeling the ice-cold pain raced across my face.

He told me I should have told her no, that I was meant to see him. I told him that he was with his family, and she was my friend. He hit me again, if he wasn't holding my arm, I would have hit my head on the floor.

He hit me a total of five times that night and told me never to do that again. I cried and said sorry, like it was my fault. I promised to never do it again. He had only hit me twice on the face the rest was in my stomach. Using some of his sisters make up I was able to look presentable and go home. He wouldn't let me leave if I didn't.

He warned me against telling anyone, as I was the new kid and they knew him more. So, they wouldn't believe me. I believed him.

The next day he brought me flowers and some jewellery, as an apology. He said that he hadn't meant to or wanted to hit me. He had been worried when he couldn't get a hold of me. I believed his lies, even when he promised to never do it again.

He did, this tie it was for talking to Eric, another friend from school, during class. He was asking for help. He kicked me that time. This happened for a few more months. He became even more possessive I couldn't go anywhere or do anything without his permission.

The came the night of the senior dance, we went. I hadn't wanted too, I used to be really clumsy. So, the idea of going to a dance wasn't fun. He wanted to go so I had no choice. He choose my dress and my shoes, he even told me how to have my hair.

During the dance was fine, we mainly stood and talked with his sibling his sisters Rosalie and Alice tried to get me alone, but he wouldn't let them.

When the dance was finished Edward droves us home, at least I thought it was home. I quickly started to realise that I didn't know where we was. I asked where we was going, he told me to be quiet and wait. I had a bad feeling.

We pulled up at this cheap looking motel, he ordered me to stay whilst he went up to the reception. Then he drove us over to where we was staying. I told him I wanted to go home, he got out the car came to my side and yanked me out.

He was much stronger than me, I tried to pull myself free, but I couldn't. I was helpless as he pushed me through the motel room door and shut and locked it.

I told him again I wanted to go home, he hit me. I fell on the bed and he climbed on top of me. I told him he was scaring me. He laughed at me and told me to shut up and I might enjoy it.

He raped me that night, I tried to fight, I tried to get away, but I couldn't. Afterwards I couldn't move, he sat next to me watching a porno on the crappy motel tv. When he watched something, he liked he came at me again, no matter how many times I cried or begged him to stop he wouldn't.

He eventually drove me home, Charlie was asleep, so I crawled into the shower and cried. I rubbed my skin raw trying to clean it. The next day at school he wasn't there. He didn't come back for the rest of the week. It didn't change anything; I still didn't speak to anyone and no spoke to me.

We were only a few weeks away from graduation when Rosalie and Alice came to school after two weeks of absence. They told me they were leaving and so was Edward. They told me to move on and find someone better than their brother, and then they left.

I haven't seen him or any of them since that day, the moment I graduated I left.

Tears flowed down my face as I shook, once I started my story I couldn't stop. Sue came around the table and hugged me. She stroked my hair soothingly.

"It was never your fault Bella, you hear me? it was never your fault" she said strongly. I nodded as I tried to get control over my tears.

"I (sniff) know (sniff)" I said, it took some time to come to that realisation, but I knew.

Sue leaned back and wiped the wet streaks from my face.

"I mean it Bella; it isn't your fault. That was all him, his problem" she said again.

I smiled at her, as I grabbed the tissue she was offering. I dried my eyes and blew my nose before I spoke again.

"I know Sue, it took some time, but I know the only thing I did wrong was accepting his apology the first time and not getting out then. I just thought it was love."

Sue hugged me again, I was beginning to like her hugs.

"I'm glad you've told me Bella. Now you can start to really get over it all, and I am going to help you, even when you go back home. We will face time and talk" she said.

'I like the sound of that' I thought as hugged her back.

Love or hate let me know.