Disclaimer: I do not own PhofOp.

Taking That First Step

"How are you and your partners doing?" Dr. Webber asked Erik.

"You mean since our last session three days ago? Fine, and they are not my partners." Erik replied calmly as he sat in a comfortable leather chair.

"That's not what Madam Giry and Mr. Khan told me before we began your sessions." Dr. Webber countered.

Erik sighed. "I suppose, they could technically be considered that, but I would not call us that."

"What would you call your relationship?" Dr. Webber questioned.

"Complicated, all caps." Erik informed his therapist.

Ever since waking up from his coma, Erik has been forced to see a psychiatrist for trauma counselling. Being the victim of a believed crazy cult of killers basically screamed PTSD and he had to sign up for at least six months' worth of sessions to be considered sane enough to be on his own. He was also seeing a physical therapist for his ankle and while he hated those sessions, he would rather be there than here. He had two sessions a week with Dr. Webber and three sessions a week with his physical therapist. It was all mentally and physically exhausting.

"Can I have more details than that?" Dr. Webber probed, the smile in his tone.

Erik let out another sigh. "You know how it is, it has not changed within the past few days."

"Meaning you are still avoiding them?" Dr. Webber answered innocently.

"I am not avoiding them, I talk to them every day." Erik protested.

"Yes, but have you allowed either of them to come near you since the incident?" Dr. Webber countered.

The incident being the panic attack Erik had experienced in the hospital after Raoul had touched his neck. He hadn't meant to react as he did but the feeling of a cold hand touching the sensitive skin brought forth every memory of less friendly hands doing the same to drag him out of his cage and drink from him. An experience that Erik considered to be the most painful.

Being bitten made Erik feel like his entire body was on fire, the place where the fangs pierced his skin feeling like two flamed daggers driving into him. It hadn't helped that Erik had memories of Raoul and Christine doing the same, it didn't matter that it had been to help him.

It had taken Nadir and Antoinette almost half an hour to calm Erik down enough that the nurse no longer had to be present. After that, he had been so ashamed by his reaction that he hid behind Antoinette and Nadir and not allowed the vampire couple back in. However, the two had not taken it that way and things have been tense to say the least these past couple weeks.

Erik shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "They keep their distance on their own."

He heard Dr. Webber sighed. "Erik, they do that because they don't want you to react like you did before. You have gone through a traumatic experience and your partners remind you of those memories. It is not uncommon for people to not be able to connect with their loved ones soon after an experience. But to move past them requires time and communication."

"We talk." Erik mumbled this time.

"Have you talked about what had happened? Or tried to explain why you reacted the way you did? Have you been alone in the same room with them since?"

"No, no, yes." Erik answered simply and in order.

"Tell me what happened when you were alone with them." Dr. Webber suggested.

Erik messed with his cane in his hands, not wanting to say, but knew that Dr. Webber wouldn't let it go. "It was awkward. I felt overly aware of their presence, trying to make sure I knew their exact location every second. When they would move too suddenly, I would become startled."

"These people that held you…they were fast?"

Erik nodded. "And strong, I was completely powerless against them and Christine and Raoul are very much the same."

Exactly the same, but Erik couldn't exactly tell his therapist that it was because they were vampires. He would never get an end to his sessions.

"You feel powerless around Miss Daae and Mr. de Chagny? Have they ever done anything to make that so?" Dr. Webber questioned, writing something on his pad.

"No, they would never harm me." Erik grinned sadly. "They are practically incapable of doing it, but…"

"Their likeness to your captors makes you feel as if you are with them?"

Erik shook his head. "Maybe a little. I cannot see them. My mind and heart both know that my captors are gone, but those moments where Christine or Raoul do something that reminds me of them…my other senses cannot tell me that it isn't them. Not when I'm about to have another attack."

"Your sight wouldn't necessarily help with that. Your eyes can trick you as much as your other senses." Dr. Webber informed him. "How often have you almost had an attack?"

"Twice after the first full one." Erik answered honestly. "Both times were when I was alone with them."

"What made them stop?"

Erik rested his can on his lap and placed his hands on the armrests. "They sing to me."

"Oh? Why do you think this brings you out?"

"Because it's a song that only we know." Erik replied with a small grin. "We made it together. I wrote the music, we wrote the lyrics."

"Often keys words or phrases are great ways to let people connect that they are who they say they are, because it's something only specific people would know. In your case, it's a song." Dr. Webber told him. "Knowing they are your partners, does this bring you comfort?"

"Not my partners." Erik mumbled knowing Dr. Webber will ignored it. "Yes, I suppose it does."

"Then why haven't you talked to them?"

"I…" Erik paused, not wanting to continue. He sighed. "I'm ashamed by my reaction. I knew I was talking to them the first time but Raoul's touch made me react poorly. It's hard to face them and explain that I can be triggered by any touch by them."

"Erik, if they truly love you they would understand and, from what you have told me about them, they will. Right now, all three of you are hurting and that's not the way to make progress." Dr. Webber stated firmly.

"I'll try to talk to them, no promises." Erik conceded reluctantly.

"That's all I ask." Dr. Webber agreed.

"Nadir, can you do me a favor?" Erik asked as Nadir prepared dinner for them.

"I swear, if you ask me to change dinner when I'm half way done with it, I'll stab you." Nadir replied darkly.

Erik chuckled, feeling Ayesha rub herself on his legs under the table. He reached down and she bumped her head to his hand for a scratch. "No, my friend, I learned my lesson the first time. I wish to ask that you eat dinner in the other room tonight."

Erik heard Nadir pause in his cooking. "You're asking them over?"

"I asked them over." Erik countered, lifting his hand from Ayesha's head. The cat hurried out of the room, her bell collar giving her location away. "And I would greatly appreciate it if you give us some space."

"Are you sure?" Nadir asked, hesitation coated in his voice.

Erik nodded. "You will be easy hearing distance if I need you. The plan is not to."

"Alright." Nadir agreed halfheartedly but it was enough for Erik.

When there was a knock on the door some time later, Nadir answered it while Erik remained in the dining room. Hearing the couple's voices made Erik's heart beat faster but he forced himself to take deep breaths. He didn't want them to think he was already going to have a panic attack.

"Erik? Miss Daae and Mr. de Chagny are here." Nadir called out and Erik could hear their footsteps, purposely loud, getting closer.

He turned towards the entrance when he knew they would be there. "Yes, it's kind of obvious from all the noise you three are causing."

He heard Nadir snort and move into the kitchen to take his plate. "I'll be out there, if you need me."

Then almost low enough that Erik couldn't hear he heard Nadir whisper a threat to the couple. "Don't make him need me."

When Nadir left and Erik could hear the TV on in the living room, he turned towards the couple. "Ignore him, he's protective."

"For good reason." Christine countered, her steps entering the room and coming towards the table. They stopped by the chair across the table from him and the chair pulled out. "I wish I had a friend that was half as loyal as the madam and Mr. Khan are to you."

"You do not find a lot of people like them, I'm fortunate." Erik agreed easy enough. "It, of course, goes both ways."

"Of course." Christine agreed, the smile in her tone, but Erik could tell that she was sitting tensely in her chair. She wasn't moving the slightest bit, as if afraid that any noise she created would set him off. While Erik appreciated the gesture, it made him sad that he was the cause behind it.

"But I did not call you to talk about them." Erik began, figuring it was best to get things over with.

"Yeah, your call was unexpected." Raoul admitted from the doorway.

"It was unexpected for everyone." Erik granted. He tapped his index finger on the surface of the table, but unlike so maybe times before, neither vampire reached forward to take his hand to guide it to their faces. Erik had to admit that it hurt a little that they were that unwilling to get near him because of their fear to trigger him. It was frustrating to say the least, but he wasn't about to ask to see their faces, no matter how much he wanted to see them.

He forced himself to stop his tapping, placing the hand on his knee under the table instead. "When I was held by Carlotta—"

"Erik, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Christine interrupted hurriedly.

Erik sent her a calm grin. "But I need too, the two of you must know why I reacted the way I did at the hospital…it has caused us to become something that is terrible for all of us."

The two of them were silent.

"Okay." Raoul declared slowly.

Erik nodded. "When Carlotta had me, I was placed in a cage, as you two know. In there I was constantly teased and threatened by them, very much like I was on display in a freak show. They broke my ankle the first time I tried fighting them. It was a short and thin man and he had delivered my food for the day. I had not wanted to eat, so he forced fed me. I bit him and as consequence, he broke my ankle. The broken ribs were from the other one, the one that had me when you two arrived. After the other one broke my ankle, Carlotta put him in charge. He was a lot more subtle with my injuries, leading to my broken ribs. However, he didn't try to feed me, except to force water down to not die of thirst. That's how I gained those injuries."

Erik was aware that Christine and Raoul were deathly quiet, causing Erik to want to shift from discomfort but forced himself to remain still. He hoped that if and when they finally did move, it wouldn't cause a reaction in him.

"They all drank from me, mostly Carlotta. I believe she gained a sense of dominance over the two of you by being able to do so. She mocked me often enough." Erik reached up and placed two fingers in the exact spot the dead mistress would often bite him. "They tended to do it by opening my cage without warning because of their lack of sound, the sound along with the unbreakable grasp of cold holds on my neck became a foreboding feeling because soon after I would get bitten."

He dropped his hand and turned his head towards where he knew Raoul was at. "You were correct in telling me about the need for a compel before biting someone, it's a torturous pain unlike anything I have ever felt. Not that I would believe they would compel me if I was able to see. I believe they enjoyed the pain it causes humans."

"Erik…" Christine whispered brokenly, but Erik shook his head to stop her.

"I fought every time, but that did not do much. Eventually, I was too weak to do anything, that's when Carlotta got bored and sent out the letter with my blood." Erik paused for a moment to take in a deep, slow breath. Here the part he had to get out. "When I woke up in the hospital, Antoinette was able to quickly tell me everything before I began to panic. By the time I was alone with you, I believed myself fully in control of my bearings. And I was…"

"Until I touched you." Raoul whispered softly after Erik paused.

Erik sighed. "Yes, I did not mean to react like that, however, the thought of someone touching my neck has wired itself as a sign of being harmed, especially the touch of a cool hand."

"That's why you panicked? You thought we were going to harm you?" Christine asked.

"Not you," Erik told them. "But my sense of touch and inability to see cannot always make the connection that it's you in front of me, especially that first time."

Erik hesitated for a second but forced himself to continue. "After I had calmed down, I was ashamed by my reaction, knowing that your touch can set me off."

"Is that why you've been uncomfortable being around us?" Raoul asked in disbelief.

"Erik, there's nothing to be ashamed of!" Christine added firmly. "You went through something horrible and it was our fault! We thought that you didn't want to be around us because you were scared of us!"

Erik jerked back startled. "Scared? Of you? That's impossible! I'm not scared of you, I'm worried that my fear of being touched by either of you will cause me to have a panic attack because of them!"

There was a pause in the room while everyone took in what the other said. It was broken by a snort from Raoul.

"Oh my gosh, look at us!" Raoul snickered. "We are so lame. I can't believe we were wrong about everything."

Raoul continued to chuckle on his own but then Christine began to let out a muffled giggle, telling Erik that she was covering her mouth with her hand.

"It is a bit silly." Christine confessed. "We shouldn't be laughing."

Erik cracked a small smirk. "At the moment, I believe I would rather laugh than anything else."

That made the two vampire's chuckles turn into laughter, the relief obvious in the sounds. Erik's own shoulder slumped in relief, feeling as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulder. He covered his mouth as he began to chuckle at the ridiculousness of it all.

Erik knew that they had to work through some things before he would be fine again, but the first step is always the hardest. And together, they had taken it.

And there's the next chapter! Hope you all enjoyed it and will leave a review if you did! Did you see the guest appearance? Next chapter will be in Christine's POV! See ya next time!