To Fix a Broken Heart
Summary: She was broken, fragile and in pieces. Cora was a troubled girl who just happened to get involved with the Shelby family. No one ever asks for a dangerous life but when it's thrown at you, there are only two things you can do; let it engulf you or run away and she didn't want to run.
Recklessness
Months had passed since she put Edward where he belonged and now that she was on her own, she could do whatever she wanted without scrutiny or judgement. Norman leaving her in peace was a godsend for her sanity, watching him try to care was stressful. She got rid of the maids and staff that were loyal to the St John's and replaced them with honest people that were thankful for the work. At night when the staff retired to their own homes was when she explored the hallways and rooms in their entirety, marking portraits of the family that she could donate to a museum or some sort of archive and have them out of her sight. She didn't need to be reminded of that family anymore and she finally returned Mr Jackdaw's call and started the process to return to her maiden name. It was a fresh start and Braeleigh Manor was the first place she was going to focus on.
A dent had been made in her fortune as she gave the run-down manor a fresh coat of paint and bought herself the best furniture her money could buy. Cora watched the decorators in delight as they made the hallways brighter with white paint, even if the smell of it made her feel a little sick.
"Mrs St John?" one of the maids called, taking her attention away from her new canvas.
Cora cringed slightly and clasped her hands in front of her body. "Please don't call me that, Edith, please call me Miss Maxwell."
"Miss Maxwell, your father has called for the fourth time this morning, he says it's urgent."
Her eyes rolled without her commanding it; it was her natural response to her father as he telephoned for her almost every day. "Has he told you what he wants?"
"No, he just demanded to speak with you."
"Even miles away he still manages to anger me." She muttered under her breath as she followed Edith into the study in the east wing, she could hear the young maid snigger at her comment. She lifted the receiver and tried to hide the annoyance in her tone. "Hello father, sorry I haven't been able to answer your calls, I've been quite busy."
"I need you to come back to Birmingham at your earliest convenience, I wouldn't ask you to so soon after the funeral if it wasn't important." He was speaking so quickly, and she could hear the alarm in his voice.
A headache was looming behind her eyes, she looked to her maid and motioned for her cigarettes to be handed to her. "Father, you need to slow down and explain to me why I must return."
"Mr Mosely wishes to see the dance academy and he has requested that you be there to give him a tour. It seems as if you made quite the impression on him at his party in London."
"Father, I didn't even speak to Mosely," she lit up the cigarette and sat on the edge of her desk as she pinched the bridge of her nose tightly with her free hand, she wasn't stupid, she could tell that Mosely only wanted her there so that he could imagine what she'd look like without her dress on, "Can't you return his call and inform him that I will not be in Birmingham so soon due to the brutal murder of my husband and tell him that if he had any compassion within him, that he would not demand my presence?"
"He's planning on investing hundreds of thousands into the academy, but I fear he won't if he doesn't get what he wants. It's only for one day, Cora and as soon as he's satisfied you can return to Braeleigh."
If she didn't return to Birmingham, she knew that her father wouldn't give her the peace she so desperately desired, she had to accept but keep her wits about her around Mosely. She had heard so many horror stories about him from a few of the women that had attended the wake and that was without prompting them. The quicker he rose within cabinet, the more destructive he became.
"Fine, I'll come back next weekend on the Saturday and will leave on Sunday morning."
"Thank you, Cora, you have no idea how happy I am. I'll get onto the phone with him right away."
She hung up the phone and rested the cigarette against her lips; she was able to read Mosely better than any other man she had come across. He had no interest in that academy, he just wanted to wriggle his way into her life now that her husband was dead and buried. Cora looked at Edith and took one final drag. "Have me a bag made up for Birmingham but pack the most unflattering dress you can find whether it's from my wardrobe or the clothes that remain in Edward's mother's wardrobe." When Edith nodded and scurried out of the room, Cora added one final demand, "As shapeless and as full coverage as humanly possible."
The journey back to Birmingham in the back seat of the car made her feel nauseated, she could feel every bump in the road and became dizzy every time the driver turned a corner. With her head rested against the back of the seat, she closed her eyes and tried to get a wink of sleep before she danced with the devil. As she sat there with her eyes closed, it felt as if she were forgetting something that she couldn't put her finger on, with the whirlwind that had been going on in her mind with Edward and Tommy, she was becoming more and more forgetful of the simplest of things.
When the car stopped outside of the academy, Cora opened her eyes and waited for the driver to open her door. She took his hand and exited onto the breezy street, wrapping her coat around her a little tighter. Before he got back into the car, she gripped him by the arm, her brows creased with confusion. "What date is it today?"
"It's August 28th, ma'am."
"Almost September? Where has the time gone?" she gave him a nod of thanks and stepped towards the entrance of the academy as she counted up the dates in her head.
"Cora, you're finally here!" Norman greeted her with the shortest of embraces and gave her one look over. "Is everything alright?"
"I feel sick, like I'm going to be sick from that journey."
"You should've taken the train."
"The trains don't run on a Sunday morning father; I intend to be out of Birmingham the earliest I can." She smoothed out the back of her hair and glanced at herself in the mirror, she looked pale. "My driver gets paid double for working Sundays, so he doesn't mind."
Norman kept his eyes on Cora and placed his hands on his waist, or the lack thereof and tried to look concerned about his daughter's wellbeing. "Are you sure you're alright? You look like a ghost."
"To be honest, I don't really wish to be here, seeing Mosely. I'd much rather donate the hundreds of thousands myself and cancel this whole ordeal."
"You can donate as well."
She smirked and pulled at her face, trying to bring a bit of rosiness back to her cheeks as she pinched and prodded. "Meeting with Mosely is my donation, father."
He nodded and watched Cora take her coat of, holding out his hand out to take it from her; she had a frumpy frock on, bland in colour that fell just above the ankle. "You could've worn something nicer; I know you have plenty to choose from. Mr Mosely is someone important, you should've dressed as such."
"You don't think this dress is nice?" She glanced down and ran her hands along the scratchy fabric. When he shook his head, she grinned to herself and stepped towards one of the training rooms. "Perfect. When is he arriving?"
"He's already here, he's been waiting for you for almost an hour."
From the small window on the door into the room, Cora could see Mosely sitting in an armchair, staring at her with anticipation, a cigarette hanging loosely from his fingers with a smirk curled across his lips. She raised a brow at him and glanced at her father. "I can see that now. If I were you, I'd make yourself scarce."
"Yes, I could tell he wasn't too thrilled to be greeted by myself. If Mosely needs me, I'll be in the office looking over the books."
When Cora stepped into the hall, Mosely got onto his feet and tucked his walking stick under his arm. She had never looked at him properly and hadn't realised how tall or brutish he looked, the only thing she could remember about him was that moustache and the lustful look in his eye.
Once she had stopped in front of him, he took her hand and kissed her knuckles softly, lingering for longer than she would've preferred. "Sorry if I kept you waiting, I was in Wolverhampton at my husband's home."
"Good things come to those who wait, and may I pass on my condolences. I was shocked to learn of your husband's sudden death."
"Yes, it was quite unexpected." She took her hand away from his grasp and dropped it by her side. "So, what is it that has interested you in our little academy?"
Cora wasn't the only one able to read people well, Mosely could tell very easily that she was unbothered about her husband's passing. If anything, it only increased his interest in her. "I've always been fascinated with ballet; I suppose you could say that it is the most elegant and decadent form of dance." His eyes roamed around the room he had probably been staring at for the past hour as if it were the first time, he was looking at it. "I was disappointed to learn that I had missed the opening of this academy and the show you had put on."
"If I had it my way, I would carry on with my career and there would be plenty of other shows that you could see." She paced away from him, the sound of her heels echoing throughout the room. "Shall I show you the stage?" when he nodded, she led him out of the room and down the hall. "Unfortunately, with Edward and Julian gone, I have no choreographer or partner, so I don't think I'll be dancing professionally any time soon."
"I'm sure you could find another partner without much difficulty."
She rested a hand on her stomach as a twinge of sickness rippled through her, a cold sweat broke out on her forehead as she tried to keep her guts inside her. "It's harder than you would believe." She pulled on the heavy door and allowed Mosely to enter first. Cora followed behind him and watched as he ran his fingers along the velvet seats as he descended towards the stage. "We're preparing our young ones for their first show."
"What will the children be performing?"
"Swan Lake."
"It won't be too difficult for them?" He stopped at the stage and turned to her, resting his weight against the platform.
"Swan Lake is only two acts, and we have made it easier for the children. It was the first routine I learned, and it is the only routine they have been practising. I think the children will be marvellous." It had been the first time in many years that she had saw the stage set up for one of her favourite pieces, surprisingly her father had done well, it was almost exactly how the stage was set up for her first performance in Moscow. When her eyes left the stage, she realised that Mosely's hadn't left her. "Do you have children, Mr Mosely?"
"A few."
"Any daughters?"
"One."
"One daughter, does she not share your interest in ballet?" Cora continued to rub her stomach, hoping to settle whatever was going on inside her. The longer this meeting went on, the more violent her need to be sick became.
"Are you trying to have me enrol my daughter here so that we could become better acquainted?" he walked away from the platform and as he moved closer towards Cora, she emptied her stomach onto his shoes. "You… You," his anger was at boiling point, but he couldn't overreact, he wasn't in London, this wasn't his territory, with a scowl he asked, "do you need a handkerchief?"
She rubbed her mouth with the back of her hand and glanced up at his furious face, it only made her feel smug. "No, I am very sorry about this, I will have my father come to assist you." Cora almost ran out of the stage room and she banged obnoxiously on her father's office door.
"Cora? What has gotten into you?" He looked her over and raised a brow.
"I have violently vomited over Mr Mosely and he needs your assistance." She needed air, she wasn't going to wait for her father's reply, but it was loud enough for her to hear.
"Where on earth are you going? You can't just vomit on a politician and run off! He's very important Cora!"
The gown barely covered her at all, it was tied too loosely at the back and she felt so exposed as she waited for the doctor to return. Cora hated nothing more than being at the doctor, something about them was so morbid, perhaps it was the anticipation of finding out why she was spewing all over Mosely that had her on high alert. One good think that came out of her affliction was the fact that he probably never wanted to lay eyes on her again, but she was almost certain that her father wasn't going to bag that big donation after all and it would be the only thing she would hear about for the rest of her father's life.
The door opened and the doctor returned with his head in her chart reading over the information from the bloodwork and examinations.
"What have I got doctor? Food poisoning? Just motion sickness?"
"Congratulations, Mrs St John, you're expecting." He sat in front of her, expecting her to cry with delight but she just stared at him blankly. "You're having a baby. I'm sure your husband will be thrilled."
Cora trailed her fingers through her hair and took a cigarette out of her handbag. "I don't suppose you have a lighter?" before the doctor could hand her his from his coat pocket, she dug one out from the bottom of her bag. She lit the cigarette and tipped her head back. "A baby." She stated tonelessly.
"Was this child unplanned?"
"Yes, and I'm by myself. My husband died almost two months ago."
"At least you will have a piece of him in your life, to remind you of the union you shared." The doctor's words weren't comforting, he knew that himself but there was nothing else he could say; usually his patients were happy to find out about their pregnancy. Not this time.
"Can I get dressed now?"
"Uh, yes. I'll give you your privacy."
Once she was alone once more, she buried her head into her hand and tried to imagine raising this child alone; Cora didn't want to be a mother, not with Edward's child. It would be born out of violence, not love and she knew that she wouldn't be able to bring herself round to caring for it. Her cigarette burned away without her taking another drag and she dumped it into the ash tray as she got up to get dressed. There had to be some way to fix this mess, she couldn't be the only woman in Birmingham that was carrying the child of their abuser.
There was only one place that she knew of in Small Heath and that was Tommy's office, but he wasn't there. She was informed that The Garrison would be the only other place that he could be, and she followed the directions his secretary gave him to the letter. When she stepped into the packed-out bar, all the patrons turned to her with unfriendly expressions; she picked the wrong pub to wear her pearls and diamonds to. As soon as she mentioned Tommy's name, their eyes diverted back to their drinks and she was ushered to the private booth. When the barman opened the door, she caught a peek of Tommy and his brother's playing cards, laughing, and joking drunkenly until they noticed her standing there like a ghost. Tommy excused himself and took her by the arm, almost dragging her out of the bar.
"Cora, what're you doin' here? Haven't heard from ya in months and then you just turn up out of the blue?"
"I hadn't really planned to be back in Birmingham, not until we could be together, but circumstances have changed."
He relaxed slightly when he noted the sombre tone in her voice. "What's wrong?"
"Edward got me pregnant and I don't know what to do. I can't have this baby Tommy; I don't want to have a constant reminder of him."
He rested his hand on her arm and attempted to keep her as calm as possible. "Cora, you need to think about this, what you're gettin' rid of, there's no gettin' it back."
"I know that, but I can't do it. You know what he did to me, what he took and if I continue with this pregnancy it'll be a constant reminder of that night."
He pulled her into his arms and held her, hoping that it would give her some comfort. He had no idea what she was going through, all he could do was whatever she asked.
"How long are you in Birmingham for?"
"Until tomorrow morning, but I can stay and get a room somewhere."
"I've got a house here in Small Heath, you stay there. Have you told anyone else about this?"
"No, no one else but you."
"Right, I know someone who can fix this problem. We'll sort it, everythin' will be alright." When he felt her grip onto the back of his coat, he stroked the back of her head and rested his on top of hers. He thought that if he got rid of Edward, that they were in the clear. He didn't know how many more times he was going to be able to put his heart out on the line for her, with every false start he became more hopeless that their relationship wouldn't go any further. This had to be the last bump in the road for them or he was stepping away.
Staying still was hard when there were so many thoughts galloping through her mind. Cora had always liked children and had always fantasised about the day she would become a mother but this, this pregnancy was like something out of a nightmare. Was she a horrid person for wanting to get rid of this baby? Was she thinking recklessly and with malice? No, if she were ever to have a child, she deserved to do it with someone that she adored and who returned that adoration unconditionally. This was the right thing to do. The door of the bedroom creaked open slowly and Tommy returned with good news.
"I spoke with the woman who will do the abortion."
Cora sat on the edge of the bed; her hands gripped tightly to the sheets. "When?"
"Monday, she won't do it on the Sabbath."
"Monday… Okay. How much will it cost?"
He waved his hand and shook his head at her. "Don't worry about that."
"Tommy, I can pay my way."
"She ain't chargin', when I told 'er about your situation, out of the kindness of 'er heart, she said she would do it for nothin'."
Her eyes flitted towards Tommy; she knew he was lying but she wasn't going to get into an argument with him over money. She got onto her feet and stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist, burying her head into his chest. His hands pulled her in closer and his fingertips travelled her back in little circles.
"I'll pick ya up on Monday mornin'." He spoke softly into her ear. "Stay with ya while you're operated on."
She looked up at him, her brows creased in the middle. "Tommy, it's not your responsibility to come with me. It wouldn't be fair; I can do this alone."
He cupped his hand underneath her chin and noticed the loneliness in her eyes, the fear that she was trying to hide and the desperation to be loved. Tommy was able to see through the front she put up, she needed him more than she was willing to admit, and he would be there, no questions asked.
"If ya don't want me there, tell me now." She was silent as he expected. "Ya don't have to be alone, not if ya don't want to be."
"Please, don't leave me alone."
A:N Happy New Year! I wish that 2021 will be a lot better than 2020 has been. Thank you so much for reading, Cora will grow to be more independent and it will be a journey for her, I promise as for Tommy I won't give too much away. Thank you for reading and the next upcoming chapters will become lighter in mood, hope you enjoyed!