Keith stumbled into his apartment, tired, on edge, and needing a shower. Keith liked having showers; he often used the time to think about his day, or if he had a problem he would try and think of a solution. Sometimes he daydreamed. Sometimes he spent the whole shower focusing on the way the water felt, hot and hitting his skin, relaxing his muscles and washing off the day.

Keith set down his work bag. Cosmo, his dog, ran up to him, jumping and on a quest to lick Keith's face. Cosmo ran around Keith a few times in circles before attempting the quest again. Keith laughed at the dog. He was able to make it to the middle of the living room when Cosmo finally succeeded; more accurately, Keith crouched down and pet Cosmo while the dog happily lapped at Keith.

"Who's a good dog? Who's a good boy?" Cosmo already knew he was a good boy. Keith sauntered over to the kitchen, Cosmo following close behind, and grabbed the bag of dog food. Keith had gotten Cosmo when he first graduated from the police academy and moved to the apartment. He found himself to be lonely in a way he had not felt before, and the next day decided to adopt a dog from the local shelter. Keith had a couple of days to move in, so he went to the shelter on the second day of his break before starting work.

The person at the front counter greeted him energetically, escorting Keith to where the dogs were kept. As Keith was going down the aisle, most of the dogs were chilling in their cages, not giving Keith more than a head raise or a tail wag. All except for this cute husky (a baby despite its size, according to the front desk person) who was panting and running in circles, stopping at the front for a moment to look at Keith each revolution. Keith felt drawn to the dog; he liked the energy. He asked the name of the dog, and the worker informed him the name was Cosmo.

Once Cosmo was merrily eating his dog food, Keith queued up his shower playlist, turned on the shower, and let his mind wander.

Keith was glad he lived alone because that meant he could sing in the shower and listen to his music without judgement. The words of the songs flowed out of him naturally. He didn't need to think about them, he only needed to feel them. Keith relaxed as he sang and felt the hot water erase the tenseness in his body. He started thinking about how he knew Lance.

He forgot to check the yearbooks. Keith tried to think of any other context. From the way Lance was calling out to him, it was clearly something more important than he served him coffee or something similar. Lance did say he worked a few jobs. If Keith saw Lance more than once, he would have recognized him, wouldn't he? Keith tried thinking up more situations where he would be memorable enough to elicit Lance's response, but all thoughts that weren't high school had too much room for doubt. Keith turned off the shower and dried himself off. He wrapped the towel around him, being too embarrassed and self-conscious of his body to even let Cosmo see him. Keith had always had issues with his body, some of it relating to him never dating anyone.

The realization and flashback hit Keith like a bus. He remembered.

Keith had felt for years that he was not like the other boys in his classes at school. While they were dating and hooking up, Keith was not. He did not understand what about girls was attractive in a romantic or sexual way. He thought girls were pretty in the same way he thought paintings were but her never felt a drive towards them. He had a drive towards guys, but he didn't identify what it was, or define it, until sophomore year in high school. He had first heard of the term "gay" used to describe a character in a book that they were reading in English. Keith realized that he was that. It was the word to describe him. He was relieved to read a book and feel like someone related to him. He found out later that there was a club at school but he had no intention of joining it. He didn't want to come out yet. He wasn't entirely comfortable with the descriptor, it was like a new pair of shoes. He had already been that guy who skipped a few grades, he didn't need another thing to outcast him from the majority of the populace. Throughout his time at his high school Keith kept his crushes a secret, internal, never acting on them. He had a group of friends but he never really felt any deep attachments to any of them.

When he entered the academy, there was a fellow cop-wannabe who expressed interest in Keith. This guy, Travis, was out and proud to the academy, however never boasted about his dating life. Since he was dating Keith, it made Keith feel good. They dated in secret for a while; going on dates, hanging out, but never going past making out in terms of sexual activity. Keith was happy, giddy almost. He liked having this secret side relationship; it appealed to his rebellious side. Whenever it came to anything past taking off shirts while making up, Keith would always freeze up and get too anxious, too uncomfortable for some reason. Travis suggested different things to help Keith be more comfortable after it happened the first time; they tried having Keith on top (and in more control). They tried Travis being the first one almost fully unclothed. No matter what, Keith would always freeze up and get uncomfortable. Travis didn't mind; he respected Keith's boundaries. Their relationship ended because Travis moved to a different area after graduating, and they figured their long distance relationship would not hold. Keith was sad, but he didn't dwell on it.

Shortly after he first moved into his apartment, he got an app on his phone to search for a potential boyfriend. At least, that's how it started. Many, many, many matches later, Keith was fed up with being shot down because he was not experienced. This is when he met Lance for the first time. They had matched on the app, and Lance had used some corny pickup line.

Lance: Hello there. Is your name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get ;)

Keith: no my name's Keith. It says it on my profile.

Lance: Omg you're funny. SO, what are you looking for? Hook up, relationship, fwb..?

Keith had answered that he was looking for a hookup. He didn't tell Lance about how he was inexperienced, but they set up a time and place to meet. They met in person at a hotel in the nearby city; He and Lance would split the cost. Lance asked what Keith was into and he told Lance he didn't know. Keith spent that day hyping himself up, preparing mentally for the activity. Making sure he ate good food during the day. Keith wanted to do it.

Lance messaged him the room number while Keith was driving and when he got to the hotel, asked for his room key. He wasn't sure what to expect, so he had brought a bag with supplies (toothbrush, toothpaste, and whatnot). Lance was already in the room, relaxing on the bed. He smiled when Keith entered, looking him up and down.

"Hello," Lance greeted. He patted the space next to him on the bed. "Come get comfortable."

Keith shifted feet awkwardly at the doorway and crossed his arms. Was he really doing this? He thought. He wanted to, but the thought seemed too weird; that he, Keith Kogane, was going to do it. Keith dropped his eyes to the ground.

"Um, I've never done this sort of thing before… I'm not too sure what to do."

Keith was wearing a red button up blouse, black jeans, and a black tie. Lance got up from the bed in a manner that Keith interpreted as a try on seductiveness. He put some music on the television in the room, sauntered over to Keith. He took Keith's hands in his. Rubbed circles on the top with his thumbs. Lance slowly walked backwards, gently pulling Keith with him until they were in the middle of the room.

"I can sense a bit of tension and some nerves." Lance stated. He started swaying a bit to the slow music. Slowly crept his left hand to be at Keith's waist and the cop placed his hand on Lance's shoulder. They swayed along to the music. As they moved, Lance pulled them close together. Keith started relaxing into the movements, resting his head on Lance's shoulder. The hand on Keith's waist travelled down and squeezed his butt. Keith jumped in surprise, his head shooting up. Lance apologized when he noticed the redness starting to form in Keith's cheeks. Lance asked if he could start kissing and Keith told him yes. Lance moved his arms to rest on Keith's shoulders, his hands dangling nimbly. Lance's lips made work of Keith's. The cop took a bold move and deepened it, adding tongue. Lance broke the kiss soon after the kissing overruled the dancing. He asked if Keith wanted to top or bottom to start. Keith, not really knowing his preference, hastily said bottom. Keith guided Lance over to the bed, sitting down, and then Lance moved to straddle him. They resumed the kissing. Lance put his body weight on Keith, he pulled the Latino boy down with him. Lance began grinding on the other boy a bit. Keith noticed and was cool with it; he was really into the kiss. Lance pulled away and took his shirt off - a deep V neck, blue - and snaked his hands under Keith's shirt. Keith moaned at the way his abs were being massaged by the other's thumbs. It was cut off by kissing. Lance parted from him after what seemed like blissful ages.

"May I?" he asked, tugging Keith's shirt lightly. Keith hastily nodded. Lance undid the tie slowly, tossed it aside - I'm gonna have to find that later, Keith thought - and then unbuttoned Keith's shirt one agonizing button at a time, kissing each revealed spot and sending shivers down Keith's torso. Lance returned to his mouth, taking Keith's shirt off as he kissed him. The boys moved to be more on the bed, Keith on the bottom. Lance's hands started at Keith's shoulders and worked their way down his body until the waist of his jeans. Keith started feeling the terror of the unknown again, all those feelings, those wrong wrong feelings, bubbling up.

That this was WRONG, he wasn't supposed to do this. He barely knew the guy, he didn't want to go all the way. But how far would he go? At what point is too overwhelming?

Lance kicked off his dress pants. Keith felt his hand massaging something that hadn't been massaged before. Lance started kissing Keith's jawline, Keith panting at the anxiousness and the thrill. Slowly kisses descended down Keith's chest, then his abdomen, then his-

"STOP!" Keith shoved Lance off of him, sending the Latino stumbling confusedly back and into the dresser. Keith curled up on himself, hugging his knees tightly, face tomato red, his head buried in his knees, and hot tears streaming down his face. He started hyperventilating.

He expected Lance to leave. To yell at him. To do something bad to Keith. Instead, he took in the situation, grabbed the extra blanket in the dresser, and approached Keith.

"Hey man," he gently said. Keith couldn't see him, but if he could he would see empathy and concern in the eyes of the other boy. "I'm gonna place this blanket around you, okay?"

Lance did so without hearing Keith's affirmation. Lance squeezed the balled-up Keith in a firm hug, rocking him back and forth slightly. Waited until Keith's sobs calmed down before speaking. Keith had unfurled a bit while crying, giving into Lance's embrace.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lance gently said.

"I'm sorry," Keith said sniffling. He felt better, but not great. "I just… I haven't… This was me trying to..."

A look of realization crossed Lance's face.

"How, um, er, far have you gotten before?" he awkwardly asked, then added, "if you don't mind me asking."

"Making out shirtless…" Keith huffed. Now that he was down, he was have self-deprecating thoughts and was swearing at himself. At how weird he was for being scared of it. How weird he was in general, that he shouldn't have cried or freaked out. Keith shouldn't have done this. It was a mistake.

"I'm sorry this happened… Are you okay?" Lance asked. Keith shoved him away, going over to where his clothes were in a pile.

"I'm stupid. I shouldn't have done this," Keith said angrily as he picked up his shirt and put it on. He started buttoning it up. "I'm not thinking. This wasn't ok."

"Are you angry at yourself for freaking out?" Lance asked. Keith scoffed as he finished his buttons. He picked up his tie. Shoved it in his pocket. Lance continued to speak.

"You know, you aren't the first to do that with me. I try to go slow, and I'm cool with not going all the way if you wanted to continue-"

"No!" Keith yelled. He didn't realize he was starting to hyperventilate again. A look of hurt washed over Lance's face. Keith took a few deep breaths. He picked up his bag.

"I'm sorry." He softly muttered, barely audible to Lance. With that, Keith stormed out of the room.

Keith swore to himself. Cosmo, who was sitting patiently outside of the bathroom, looked up at Keith with a questioning look. He nuzzled his head against Keith's hand and Keith gave into the petting him, squatting. Cosmo licked some of the water droplets off of Keith's face and Keith stood up again. With Cosmo in tow, he went into his room to get some sleep.

Sleep evaded him. He laid in bed, wondering how he didn't remember that. How did he not recognize Lance? Perhaps he had blocked it out of his memory. It was quite upsetting. He had tried again after Lance, but he had the same reaction. The second guy wasn't great at responding to Keith's anxieties, yelling at him and kicking him out. Keith hadn't remembered that either until he thought about what happened with Lance. Keith had been at the precinct for almost three years. Things must have gone really down with Lance; he went from paying for expensive hotels and having sexy rondevouzes to working two jobs and thieving. Keith also wondered about how Lance didn't remember him upon sight. He did mention how Keith wasn't the first to react in that way. Did Lance have hook ups often? Did he still do that now? Keith wanted to know but didn't want to ask. He wanted to talk to Lance.

What if he told someone at the precinct? Keith was paralyzed at the thought. This wasn't how he wanted to come out.

Cosmo crawled up onto the bed at around 2AM, made himself at home, and sat on Keith's legs. He looked at Keith for a solid minute before sliding his butt off and lying down next to Keith lengthwise. The presence of Cosmo helped Keith finally fall asleep.

Since Keith worked a late shift last night, he had an afternoon/evening shift the following day. Keith liked this because he could sleep in and stay awake at night, embrace his inner night owl. The world was quiet at night, there weren't as many drivers when he got off work, and Keith could sneak around during a stakeout. He admittedly liked stakeouts and night patrol because he could go on a nostalgia trip to the days he pictured himself as a spy, or ninja, or secret agent. Whatever his imagination made him to be. He used to climb trees when he was younger and look out as if he was on superhero patrol. Now, Keith climbed trees while on hikes. There was one time when a cat got stuck in a tree and he had to rescue it, but that was the only time he did it for work-related reasons. Shiro was surprised when Keith, as smooth as an acrobat, scaled the tree and attained the cat.

Keith rolled out of bed, longing to stay in. Knowing he had to go to work was the only thing motivating him to try to look well-kept and eat decently. Cosmo trotted around the apartment like he usually did. Keith couldn't remember whether he was still in the bed with Keith when he woke up or if Cosmo had been out and about. Keith did his usual morning routine to get ready for work. He got a message from Allura to bring Cosmo in while he was getting dressed.

"You coming to work Cosmo?" Keith asked the dog. Cosmo kept a stern eye on Keith but his tail revealed how excited he was. Keith put Cosmo on his leash and off they went to the precinct.

"COSMO!" Hunk greeted as Keith strutted into the office area. Cosmo pulled Keith so he could go show Hunk affection. Keith left Cosmo with Hunk so he could grab Cosmo's work uniform. When he came back, Shiro and Allura had joined the group. They backed off so Cosmo could prepare for his job.

"There's an apartment we found that we need searched. Before the apartment is upturned and given to someone else." Allura informed Keith as he suited Cosmo up.

"Crime scene?" Keith asked.

"Sharpshooter's apartment. One of our perps claimed him to be a drug dealer on top of the stealing. He hasn't admitted to it, though."

Keith thought about Lance. His lease was almost up. If he's in here and can't pay for his own rent, Lance is going to be on the street. That might increase his stealing habits. He will probably have to pay a fine for the stealing he's already done.

"There's a chance the perp's lying," Keith said.

"Yes, but it doesn't hurt to check. That's why it is a solo mission." Allura said. "Shiro will be interrogating the criminal while you, Keith, will be searching the apartment." Allura passed him a piece of paper with Lance's address on it.

They only drug in the apartment was the knock out one used in the darts. It didn't take long for Keith to find them; they were sitting on Lance's kitchen counter. The apartment was in good shape, to Keith's surprise. The apartment wasn't furnished as much as the typical one. Lance had a television, couch, a single table in the living room. He had a bed and dresser in his room, as well as a tool kit. The kitchen had all of the utilities. The place was clean and no one else was in it. When Keith checked the closets, he found bedrolls. The spare room was completely empty.

Keith returned just as Shiro was putting Lance back in his cell. He greeted Keith by asking if he found anything, to which Keith held up the bag of vials of the drug. He explained to Shiro his boring expedition.

"You went into my place?" Lance exclaimed.

"Yes." Keith flatly answered.

"Why?"

"We got a tip that there might be drugs in there. While that was true, it wasn't the kind of drugs we thought would be," Keith answered. He went over to his desk and sat down to do paperwork. Pidge came to retrieve the she left, Lance called Keith over to him. Keith was dreading this conversation.

"Yes?" Keith said. Lance noticed the cop had tightened up in the five seconds it took him to respond.

"Can we, uh, chat privately?" Lance requested, his voice dropping low to almost a whisper. Keith sighed. He nodded. Why was he so tense? The cop opened the cell, grabbed Lance by the elbow and led him to the interrogation room. He cuffed the boy to the table and shut the door. Keith stood behind the second chair with his arms crossed, hips cocked. There was a silence. Lance sat and waited for Keith to talk while Keith did the same. They stared at each other. Lance checking out Keith, Keith showing lots of signs of discomfort.

"Do you remember?" Lance finally asked. Keith just nodded. "Are you, uh, out to your colleagues?" Keith shook his head. "Have you, uh, tried since then-"

"That's none of your business," Keith snapped. Lance sat back in his seat, eying the coop levelly.

"So you haven't."

Keith scoffed.

"Why do you care?" Keith said, echoing the same thing Lance said to him during the crime the night before.

"Because I saw you. I saw how much you wanted to let go of the fear. I saw the pain in your eyes, the look of betrayal one side of you did to the other. I saw how broken you felt. And you turned that negative internal energy to anger. You have a battle going on inside you that no one can see. I think a part of it is that you do not accept yourself yet."

Keith slammed his fists on the table between them.

"Don't you pretend like you know me. You don't know shit about me." Keith growled.

"I don't need you to tell me things that I know from witnessing. I saw you Keith. You were vulnerable. You are still vulnerable. There's a part of you that doesn't accept yourself and I think telling your friends about your sexuality can help. In that cell I have watched them. You'd be surprised at the compassion in people's hearts."

Keith backed up and retained his closed off stance.

"Says the thief."

"I steal as a means to survive. Don't dodge the topic." Lance said. He leaned forward in interest.

"Officer.." Lance strained to read Keith's nametag. "Coh-gain?" Keith mumbled it was close enough. "I will not out you to your coworkers. But if you need help, I am here."

Keith chuckled darkly.

"You have no choice."

"Fair."

There was another long silence.

"Officer, what will my sentence be?" Lance asked after a while. This threw Keith off guard.

"Uh, probably a fine for the robbery, and jail time for the drugging civilians bit."

Lance asked how much of a fine and Keith answered an estimate.

"I'm gonna be homeless when I get out of jail…" Lance sighed. "Will I be able to claim my stuff?"

"It will be kept at the station."

Keith looked at Lance. He seemed calm, if you didn't take into account his quickly shaking hand, displayed on the table because Lance couldn't put his hands under. Keith felt empathy for Lance. Even though he riled him up, Keith wasn't mad at Lance. He was mad at himself.

He felt like an alien because of his reaction to physical intimacy. He didn't know why; he WANTED to partake in it, but a part of him took over when he was getting there. A part that overwhelmed his senses and brain, screaming NO. It didn't matter how bad he wanted it. And it made Keith frustrated. Keith thought about how caring Lance was that night, how there were a thousand bad tings Lance could have done. But he didn't; he was calming and understanding.

"So why didn't you remember me at first?" Lance asked, interrupting Keith's thoughts.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Lance chuckled.

"Yeah. Um, I am very active on the app we met on. While your, er, reaction was not what usually happens, you aren't the first and were not the last. The men who have reacted the same way as you, most hadn't come out yet. Your reaction is valid. Once I'm out of this place, if you want to try again, I would be down. Up until your freak out, it was pretty good."

Keith turned away to hide the blush forming on his face.

"I've been here for only 24 hours," Lance continued "and I can already tell that the people who will accept you are prosthetic guy, headband guy, morgue person, and the lady who runs the place. They all seem like good people."

Keith was amused at the descriptors Lance came up with for his coworkers. He turned back around to face Lance, took a few deep breaths, sat down. He met Lance's caring gaze.

"If you think this will lessen your sentence, you're mistaken." Keith said coldly.

"Is it a vulnerability thing?" Lance questioned. "You are afraid of being exposed, emotionally and physically?"

Lance was right, but Keith wouldn't admit it.

"You have to let go." Lance continued. "Unburden yourself, free yourself."

"But what if I get fired? What if you're wrong, and I get made fun of?"

Lance's heart broke a little.

"Then that shows who they are." Lance had a twinge of bitterness to his voice. He took a breath.

"But loving yourself is worth the risk."

"You really think so?" Keith stated more than questioned.

"I do. I was made fun of in high school for being bisexual and I didn't give a shit. I was pleased with who I was and the rest weren't of worth. I know it's easier said than done. But I hope you can find a spark within you that sees how cool you are."

Keith couldn't deny it, he was starting to feel something for Lance. He was DEFINITELY not going to admit it to him though. Lance was a good guy, as far as thieves go. He stole but that was because he couldn't afford things with the two jobs he had. He didn't hurt people; all of his passed victims survived because Lance only knocked them out with a light sedative. Pidge was still trying to figure out what it was, because Lance hadn't told them yet. Lance cared about Keith, a stranger, a cop who literally arrested him.

Keith was about to say something when Shiro entered the room.

"Keith, what are doing?" He asked casually.

"Trying to see if I can get any info you couldn't" Keith smirked at Shiro.

"I'm a tough cookie to crack," Lance said, trying to sound like an edgy criminal but failing.

"Yeah, well if you told us the drug this whole process would be much smoother," Keith remarked. He eyed Lance again.

"If I tell you what it is, will you lessen my sentence? What sort of benefits do I get?" Lance bartered.

"You get the piece of mind that you did something good?" Shiro offered.

"Wooow," Keith sarcastically said. "Such a tempting offer for him."

They ended up offering to lessen the fine for breaking and entering. Lance told them how the drug worked; he's built a slight immunity to it, so that's why he is awake and his victims from the night before are still out cold. It was a weird mix of a drug and a venom from a poisonous creature. Keith had never heard of it before. Shiro left, pleased with the information and ran down to tell Pidge, leaving Keith to deal with Lance.

"Thanks," Keith said.

"Whatever. When I get out of here, I'm going to be homeless, so might as well save as much money as I can."

Keith felt bad. What Lance did wasn't great, but he didn't deserve to be homeless. He brought Lance to his cell; the criminal immediately fell asleep. Keith returned to his job at the desk. Although he was focused on his work, he couldn't help it when his mind drifted over to the boy in the cell. He couldn't stop the feeling in his stomach when he recalled the speeches Lance gave him about accepting himself.

He texted Shiro.

A/N: Here's the second chapter! Let me know what you think. What do you think will happen to Lance? Is Keith going to come out to Shiro? Stay tuned...