Severus woke up hung over and with a splitting headache. As predicted he passed out in his arm chair after he had his sixth drink of fire whiskey. He still felt horrible for how he acted yesterday. It was uncalled for and wrong. She didn't deserve to be berated at. His anger got the best of him. He was genuinely hurt by her not telling him when he asked, but he realized afterwards that she had a reason to be worried. She didn't know him well and she was just looking out for her child. He was so used to people lying to him his whole life and he was angry that she would lie to him as well. There was no excuse though for how he acted and he felt remorse for what he had done. He hoped it wasn't too late to apologize.
He stood up and winced at the slight pain he felt in his back from sleeping in his arm chair. He looked over at the clock on his mantle and cursed when he saw how late it was. He was planning on visiting Hermione and then opening his shop once he was finished, but with it being almost ten in the morning his shop would just have to wait. He walked to his bedroom clutching his head regretting how much he drank last night. He looked into his wardrobe and took out his clothes for the day. He set them down on his bed and walked into the bathroom shutting the door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror and winced at what he saw. His eyes were bloodshot and he definitely needed a shave. He couldn't go to Hermione looking like this. She definitely wouldn't let him in if she knew he was hung-over. He opened his medicine cabinet and took out a pepper up potion and a hangover remedy. He swallowed them both and instantly felt a hundred times better. He grabbed his wand and casted a quick shaving spell, the stubble on his cheeks disappearing. He stripped off his clothing and opened the shower door. He took a quick shower taking extra care to his hair and how he smelled. For once he cared about how he looked to other people. He wanted to look and smell nice for Hermione. Once he finished showering and drying off he dressed himself, dried his hair with another quick wave of his wand, and headed to see Hermione. Breakfast was the last thing on his mind. He would just have to go without it. He apparated away from his home and appeared in the alleyway close to her apartment complex. He steadied his nerves and tried to think of what he was going to say as he walked up to her apartment door. When he felt like his nerves were set and he had a sense of what he was going to say he raised his fist and knocked on the door.
Hermione woke up feeling just as horrible as she did yesterday. She regretted not telling Severus the truth when he asked her the first time, but she also felt angry by his response. How dare he call her immature? She was forced to grow up quickly once her child was born. There was no time for games anymore and being left alone with a child aged her greatly. He didn't know what she went through and for him to throw accusations at her was what made her pick up her child and leave. She didn't know if she was going to approach him again or wait. She didn't want to approach him and have him fly off the handle again. She felt she did right by her child. What she told him was the truth. She didn't know if she could trust him and if he even wanted to be a part of her life, but she should've gave him the chance by telling him in the first place. She found herself this morning sitting in an armchair reading her book again. She didn't dare go to his shop afraid that he would push her out and change his mind. For now she decided to give him space and let their anger settle down before attempting to talk to him again. Just as she was thinking this she heard a knock on the door.
Severus stood outside her door waiting for a long time before finally the door opened and he saw Hermione's head peek out. She stared at him unsure if she wanted to let him in. He saw the fight she was having internally with herself. "I didn't come here to fight Hermione. I just want to talk."
She wanted to believe him but it was difficult. The way he acted yesterday scared her, but she knew it was best to talk this out. If he was willing to come to her house and talk the least she can do is listen to what he had to say. She nodded at him and opened the door wider granting him entrance. They walked into her living room. Hermione sat down in her armchair and Severus took a seat on the couch.
He was again the first one to speak. "I would like to apologize for my outburst yesterday. I was angry and I let my emotions get the better of me. I came here to try to make amends and make some kind of compromise."
She stared at him thoughtfully. She was surprised by his behavior. Maybe she judged him too soon? "Thank you for your apology Severus. I too would like to apologize for my part in the fight yesterday. I should've told you when you first asked me, but I was scared. I wasn't sure how you would respond to it and I realized later on how wrong that was. I didn't give you the chance to make a decision. I am sorry for lying to you."
"Thank you for your apology Hermione, but there is nothing you have to be sorry for. I understand your reasoning and I believe you felt that way because of our situation. You obviously did not expect to get pregnant and I didn't intend for that to happen either. You weren't sure how you felt about me and I get it. I asked too much of you and I'm sorry."
She felt touched by his apology and how heartfelt he was beginning. She expected him to continue to yell at her and call her names, but instead he was being mature about this and really trying to make things better. "Do I still have the job?" She asked nervously. She didn't know if he even wanted to work with her anymore, but she desperately needed this job. Now knowing it was Severus running the shop even made the job more likable. She would love to work alongside him making potions. At one time she even wanted to be an apprentice with him, but of course the war ended that dream rather quickly.
"I offered it to you Hermione and I am not going back on my word. It is still yours if you want it."
"I have always wanted to work with you Severus. My dream was to be an apprentice under you, but with the war that wasn't possible anymore. I still would love to work with you," she admitted bashfully. She looked down at the floor shyly as she felt her cheeks redden.
"Are you going to tell Sabrina about me?" He was going to leave it up to her. Obviously he wanted her to tell her that he was her father, but he wasn't going to push her.
She looked up at him and felt tears well up in her eyes. "I have always wanted a father for Sabrina. Not so much because I was struggling with it alone, but because she deserves one. She is such a lovely child and she hasn't asked me yet about it, but I know she will soon and I don't want to disappoint her. I am so glad that you are alive and here for her Severus. I think you're right. She deserves to know that she does have a father. She has two people that love her unconditionally."
"That she does," he said in agreement.
"Severus I know you might not want to talk about this, but I do. Why did you pull me inside the classroom that day? Why me of all people?" Now that he was here in front of her and he remembered what they had done she had so many questions about the night they had.
He sat there uncomfortably. He really didn't want to talk about this. His cheeks redden in embarrassment and he began to speak. "I wanted to do that for weeks when I knew my days were dwindling. I was aware of my faith and I wasn't lying when I said I wanted one more moment of pure happiness. I haven't been happy in a really long time. I was forced to do things I didn't want to do. I was forced to answer to two masters that didn't care about how I felt. I didn't know what was worse, doing the Dark Lord's bidding or having to listen to Dumbledore, who clearly didn't care how I felt. I lived a horrible life and I desperately wanted one moment just one. I would be lying if I said it could've been anyone. We both have the same love for learning and books and honestly you were very smart. You were possibly one of my best student's in the past ten years I'd say. Your essays were amazing to read and my admiration for you grew more into desire at the end of your sixth year. You grew up into a beautiful young witch and I…" he trailed off hating how vulnerable he was being in front of her.
"Go on Severus," she said. "I want to know the truth. I want to know all of it."
"I wanted you. I wanted to feel your body against mine. I wanted to taste your skin. I just wanted a taste before I died. I didn't know you would agree to it, but you did. I enjoyed our moment together in that classroom and that was the last happy thought I had before I died."
She was taken aback by his behavior. She did not expect him to pour out his emotions the way he did. She felt oddly touched by his admittance and a part of her understood how he felt. She agreed to sleep with him because she too had an attraction to him. Did she still have an attraction to him? She wasn't sure and she didn't want to acknowledge it. They just got reunited and she didn't want to do anything to push him away. They were starting to get along and they weren't fighting anymore. Sabrina deserved two happy parents. For now she was going to suppress her feelings.
Sabrina walked into the living room and happily ran to Severus, her new friend. "Yey you're back!" She hugged his leg tightly. "Hoppy said you would be. Hoppy likes you too."
Hermione smiled at the interaction and knew that now was the time to tell Sabrina. "Sabrina mommy has something to tell you."
Sabrina went to her mother and piled on to her lap. "What is it mommy?"
"You know how most children have mommies and daddies?"
"Yes mommy, but I have you and I love you very much." She hugged her mother and snuggled into her hold.
"Thanks, but I'm telling you this for a reason. I found your father Sabrina. You have a daddy."
Sabrina's eyes widen. "Who mommy? Who is it?"
Hermione looked over at Severus and saw how scared he looked. "Stand up Sabrina. I'm a show him to you." They stood up from the armchair and Hermione grabbed her hand. She closed the small distance between the armchair and the couch. "Sabrina this is your father. This is why he has been coming over here a lot."
Severus held his breath scared of the little girl's response. His whole life no one ever liked him or cared. He didn't care how people felt about him, but at this very moment he needed his little girl's approval. He wanted to be the best father in the world. He owed that to her.
Sabrina smiled up at Severus. She started to climb up the chair leg until she was sitting in his lap. She hugged him tightly to her burying her nose into his robes. She let go of him and stared into his eyes. "Will you read stories to me and play with my toys?"
"Of course my little cherub anything you want." His eyes felt glassy from unshed tears and he pulled the child back into his chest hugging her tightly.