Chapter 3
The art of suicide
The Hibari family always told their youngest one that no one could hide their true nature. They also incorporated the sense of Survival of the fittest. Not to say they were Nazis or anything... but they were a powerful and confident bunch, so they didn't want anyone to put them down in any way. It was also the fact that their beliefs and convictions were sometimes too strong to be accepted by the people. They were overwhelming.
So the youngest member of the household, Hibari Kyoya was considered intimidating for his peers. But it wasn't like it affected Hibari in the slightest, because he had equal amounts of contempt at the weakness they continuously projected (this was a boy in kindergarten, to clarify)
He cruised through his kindergarten being an exceptional child, needless to say... but it was this period that a child he would know for the rest of his life made an impression on him that no one else did. But this impression wasn't anything good.
Sawada Tsunayoshi was a name he became familiar with, because he was infamous around town. He was known to be so useless that nature itself was playing natural selection to get rid of him as quickly as he could. But Sawada was, according to him, a rat.
Because he was persistent but had no benefits to offer. He was a nuisance but he came everyday to school regardless of what treatment he was subjected to. If only that, he would have been a bit impressed. But, no. Sawada had to display all his weakness on a neon board. He cried and cried until his mom had to come and soothe him and for once Hibari shared the same sentiment as his classmates. They cringed when they saw how embarrassing the kid was being and his mother had to look apologetic in his place to make the situation more bearable.
The kid was the the black sheep of Namimori, he was sure of it
Time passed and he was learning to use the tonfa his parents passed him. He was also being taught the ropes of jurisdiction of Namimori, but the fact was that he wasn't free from the curse of Sawada Tsunayoshi.
The child had been a thorn in his side. He was always whining (as in crying) and he was covered in bruises everytime. He first thought that the brunette was being bullied, as was expected in the weak-gets-purged society but that wasn't the case. It seemed that the brunette was getting into fights (albeit that he wasn't the one starting them). It usually started with either him asking if he could join the group, which any sane person would refuse or that a group would come to him to make him their gopher. It the first case, the kid would keep on begging them until they agreed or the kicked him to the ground for the day so that the persistent rat wouldn't get up and pester them more. In the case they agreed, the group would be subjected to the most boring game they'd ever played, since every game was single-handedly ruined by the child who found many ways of messing up a game. He would then proceed to wail while he apologized.
If it was the latter case, the child would be so eager to complete the task but fail in actually completing it that it would annoy the group.
But then the child had to pick another annoying habit. Now instead of crying, he would put up a strong front when he messed up, which would lead the other group into so much irritation that they'd get into a fight which the boy didn't hesitate in giving back, accusing them of for not accepting him when he tried oh so hard.
In his first grade, he was given the title of chairman of Namimori elementary by his parents to gain experience. His parents never compelled him in any way, he just wanted responsibility to train and test himself. Because his family was whimsical as they were powerful. Each Hibari followed their passion and interests wholeheartedly an he wanted to protect Namimori.
That year was somewhat eventful with half of the year passing with him meeting Sawada Nana every week with her apologizing for her son's delinquency. That part of the year was irritating since it was the boy being the biggest handful, because he triggered disasters and made a lot of people angry because of his actions. It was like a chain reaction being set with anything the boy did! And everyone else were easy to keep in check.
But the second half was ...empty. Sawada Tsunayoshi opted to be a complete loner and you could never hear him speak, smile or do anything. He was a waste of resources and remained abysmal in sports and studies. It was irritating. It was as if his mere existence annoyed him. It was baffling at the same time. He could not understand why was he so concerned by the brunette.
What shamed him further was that apparently, the people who were his classmates also shared his sentiment. It was humiliating. He didn't enjoy picking on the weak. He knew they would be eliminated on their own or group together to make things better. It was nature in its finest after all.
But Sawada remained a lone wolf when he was so weak, he made Hibari's blood boil.
A month before he became a 2nd grader, an incident happened which changed the status quo of Sawada Tsunayoshi. Rumors reached him that the boy apparently loved the 'flower at the peak' (Takane no hana) Sasagawa Kyoko and people finally put him into his place desperately trying to remove his existence. It made him a bit pleased and he pushed down the part of him which growled irritatedly.
When he was a 5th grader, the muddled feeling cleared up slightly and he stopped feeling like he rejected parts of himself. It was because his ideals had changed that year.
He had gotten a report that a possible criminal offense had occurred and he took up the case, feeling angry as if pride had been broken. He had been learning criminal psychology from his parents and he had been observing the behavior of the people his parents arrested. He spent time profiling the citizens of Namimori at nights... and someone had to break his carefully managed system without a care?! He knew everyone in Namimori by heart for petes sakes!
He marched to the hospital room, seeing Sawada Nana and became shocked. The suspect was one of the people he categorized as harmless. Her background was very normal, her interactions with neighbours were regular and friendly, even pleasant.
Sure her husband was hardly around, but that made him think that there were chances she'd put her son into an abusive relation... but she had been funded appropriately to have a stress free life, and her husband had regular contact with her. The only thing which could have been irritating in her life would be how her son got constantly beat up and probably his whiny behavior.
He asked some questions to her
"Sawada Nana. Had there been any incidences which could make you think that would lead to today's circumstances."
She huffed and turned to him, almost rolling her eyes as if she had stated her points over and over again, but no one believed her.
"Hibari-kun, I think you must have gotten what I told the officer before. My Tsu-kun doesn't have any social problems. I mean, he stopped getting into fights. That boy finally listened to him."
Which made him blink twice at the inconsistency with what was actually happening.
"Tsu-kun is just a bit careless. It was all because he made a habit of eating snacks at the bathroom. He said it was because he didn't have time to study and he had to put in triple the effort if he wanted to catch up with everyone. My, he's getting so mature lately."
It was so strange that he looked into his case file again.
Sawada Tsunayoshi had a low IQ; he knew it since they went to the same school and he monitored everyone in Namimori. But it was precisely that fact which made things add up perfectly as well as make it seemed planned. It was puzzling.
Because a person could be dumb enough to think they're saving time by eating when they go to the bathroom, and a person could be stupid enough to have bleach into their food because they were clumsy and careless as well... but could they potentially die? No.
It was because your body can't digest or keep in that much bleach. Because it would cause his throat rough irritation, the taste would make him puke the contents immediately... but somehow, he had managed to keep in a dangerous quantity of bleach in one go? That would be ... downing an entire bottle in one go. Which was an idea which couldn't be carried out without having the victim accused of suicide.
"And Tsu-kun takes the food I prepare with him for that day. It's not like he hoards them and he looked energetic for the last months, so I let him continue the habit... since it seemed like it set him to ease."
The statement made it seem that he couldn't take small quantities per day, unless the boy wanted to die by purging. It would have forced Sawada Nana to stop him from continuing an unhealthy habit. If he managed to keep it down, he'd be sick and his diet would be strictly managed by his mother and would have forced him to stop this bathroom eating habit.
This would all be true if the boy really planned on committing suicide... which would have been expected of him, seeing that he had no friends and his environment constantly pushed him down. It would seem as if it was the people of Namimori forced him to give up his own life...
And did they have any right to determine who would be fit to continue the species? Because every being had its own strength. The very herbivores he didn't like, had their own survival mechanisms and were good in their own ways... and he could accept that.
It was as if he had swallowed a bitter pill. Filing down his mother's statements, he opened the door, expecting a devastated boy with a bitter truth his mother had to accept. He also had to file a suicide watch, as much as he didn't want to... he didn't want an imperfection to his beautiful town.
But when he opened the door, there was a Sawada Tsunayoshi who looked straight in his eye and looked over him, having the gall to be pissed that he had found something he shouldn't have learned.
He then... schooled his expression to that of complete surprise. It was such a sudden change it made him feel like the whole situation was rigged making him very uncomfortable. He had a glimpse at the officer to his side who looked outwardly confused, mimicking his true feelings.
He then saw Sawada Nana filling him on the details and Sawada Tsuna changing his expression from surprised to sheepish as perfect moments that it made him feel sick. The truth was clear; there was no way a person could ingest bleach enough to kill them accidentally.
But Sawada Nana seemed too eager to accept this reality and Sawada Tsunayoshi was willing to let her reality remain as rose-colored as possible.
He turned to the officer who also fell into the act, looking exasperated (the incompetent) and said.
"I want to investigate this case. Make it so that the family go for a trip."
There was a sinking feeling in his heart that his town wasn't as perfect as he thought it was.
A week later.
He entered the house with a neutral expression. He wanted to know the truth about the Sawadas, the household of the black sheep of Namimori.
His family had every way of going to an abusive relationship. His father was hardly around and his mother was constantly faced with the problems her son attracted- no friends, bullied everyday, bad grades, clumsy, stupid, had no athletic sense and was careless.
He climbed up to the bathroom, looking at the house plans, aiming to go to the heart of the problems- was it a suicide?
He opened the door and took a look around. He had previously sent his agents to mark down, areas of blood and fingerprints.
He opened his updated case file with the identification of whose fingerprints were found most.
His team brought the used cans, which thrown into garbage apparently the same day as the family had been discharged from the hospital... it was as if they were scared of something.
The cans, packets had the boy's fingerprints and the spoons and rim of some of the packets had the saliva of the brunette. Faint fingerprints of the boy were present at the bleach container, but the more apparent ones were from his mother... which made sense if the boy usually did some chores for her occasionally and she used it for cleaning purposes.
There was no blood, no vomit stains in the bathroom, but some of the snacks were spilled on the ground, judging by the chemical composition. His forensics team was really amazing.
The scent of bleach could also be concealed by... curiously... a room freshener which was suffocating in its vanilla scent.
His partner, Kusakabe Tetsuya, also picked up info about various scent refreshers being bought throughout the month by a small boy with spiky auburn hair, judging by the video footage and shop registers in Namimori.
It was strange... but could also be put down as a quirk. It wasn't substantial evidence. It didn't help that Sawada Nana was forgetful... in fact, it was if she was avoiding the incident instinctively.
But he couldn't ask any questions to Sawada Tsunayoshi, a boy he had convinced himself off, as a dimwit. It wasn't because he felt guilty, but it felt that he would fall into a trap if he'd ask him. It was the feeling of a predator behind the calculating gaze; he felt when he turned away from the boy.
And he felt that Sawada Tsunayoshi knew this too, as he would often sport an irritated expression when he'd look at the prefect.
When he opened Sawada's room, a voice sounding like that of the boy made its was to his ears, and he was startled. His eyes searched through the room and something moved in the mirror and made his mind race faster. He marched to the mirror, but seeing nothing, berated his mind for being so paranoid. But he filed away his experience for future contemplation. If there was one thing he learned from being a Hibari, it was to never doubt himself.
His eyes wandered to beneath the boys' bed to see a diary-like notebook and a cosmetics box.
The items confused him and his pride wouldn't let him pry.
He looked around the room to see toys and comics, typical of an average boy... but they were dusty and hardly used. Just what did the boy do? He was hardly in the streets, primarily since he was the town's favorite target. His mother seemed to have idealized opinions of him, signifying that she didn't talk to him a lot.
The boy was an enigma, and he had the distinct feeling he was being watched... so he left the room, thinking of the consequences of being observed, even though he felt ridiculous and paranoid.
Later on, a week later
He looked at Sawada Tsunayoshi who glared at him for a second before changing his expression to that of a neutral one and bowed to him slightly before turning away. His body language told him to keep away, but the prefect felt even more curious than everything.
Strange things were happening in Namimori, well fairly strange things.
The police force he had gotten acquainted with, were slowly trying to persuade him to drop the case. They told him that he was being obsessive, he could have agreed with it... but then they had to say that the boy was just so clumsy he always seemed to be at death's door. They said that his stupid actions were just begging for death's scythe and then proceeded to laugh.
It made him so tense, he ended up intimidating them into silence.
He felt lost for the first time in his life, not knowing if he had to just drop the case as everyone in Namimori did, claiming that the boy was just Dame-Tsuna or that he pursued this for a feeling of unease?
He hated the feeling of weakness and the next day when he saw Sawada Tsunayoshi, that upward twist in his lips irritated him to huge extents. That herbivore was attempting`the most stupid acts that weaklings do for relief, and he had the gall to look so smug about it!
That night, his parents had sat across him, and he was checking over the details he wanted Kusakabe to check into- the cosmetics shop clientele for the year, people lurking around the alleys for the month, the airport security footage for the last five years.
His father's intense stare shifted his attention, and he looked straight at him.
"Kyoya, I've heard that you've been investigating Sawada Tsunayoshi for the past 4 months. Drop the investigation."
"If you'd read the case file, you'd realize that-"
"Sawada Tsunayoshi was attempting suicide. What about it? It wasn't anything strange, it was just one woman in denial."
"...You checked up on my case file."
"The cosmetics Sawada bought, were for concealing his wounds. He didn't want to worry his parent. It was common deception."
"The cosmetics shop hasn't got a customer with his description."
"Yamamoto Takeshi assisted him."
"...What?!"
Yamamoto Takeshi was a jock in his school. It was so unlikely that he had contact, let alone any long lasting relation with the most infamous loser in Namimori.
"Kurokawa Hana, a friend of Takeshi attested to it. She was playing proxy, getting all the cosmetics. She had told me that he needed it because his manager wanted it, and included it for the list of team supplies."
"That's mixing personal with professional needs."
'And it's the smallest issue out of all these.'
"He said it didn't seem to matter."
"What's his relation to the victim? Why was he assisting him in his suicide?"
'Why did the case get even more complicated.'
"He claimed they were classmates, so he wanted to help him out."
"Help? For what?"
"Apparently... it was a gift for his mother's birthday."
"When did they buy it?"
"...March 15th."
'He's lying. He was lying both times. He's making this part on the fly' he had to struggle to keep his expression neutral. Why was he trying to add false statements to the case? Why was he saying that the cosmetic was bought 2 weeks before Sawada Nana's birthday? He was going against his doctrine, for pity's sakes!
His expression remained neutral even though he saw his son's expressions twitch uneasily. It was an expression of weakness and he wasn't being called out for it!
His father's testimony was getting to be useless. But there was another angle he could approach.
"Why are you investigating this case too? You've investigated this deeper than I have and I've been trying to get to the bottom of this case in the quickest method using the most legal means."
he ignored the part of his mind that claimed that checking a house without a warrant wasn't legal.
Then he saw the same small guilt appear on his father's face. His mother interrupted the conversation sharply.
"Enough with the lies" and she looked straight into his eyes and spoke.
"The evidence in the case has been tampered with."
"What? "
"It was because you wanted to know the plane details, just like your father did."
Before he could reply, his father glared at her.
"I wanted to know the motive if the case was that of child abuse."
Hibari interrupted his father looking incredulous.
"It was of suicide."
His father looked back at him, mimicking his expression.
"The boy had a record for not being able to be that cunning. It would affect his analytical skills. If he had that sort of intellect, don't you think it would affect his intellectual skills? I've questioned his teachers; he has no signs of anything remotely intelligent."
"His academics have no relation to his actual intellect."
"What nonsense, Kyoya. Your mind is completely muddled with emotion. What does this case have against you that is making you so irrational?!"
"That boy has played this so well that he's got the entirety of Namimori under a haze. The people think it's natural to have him die in a ditch because he's so incompetent. That thinking is strange."
"That's why I think Sawada Nana was planning homicide."
"She's unassuming."
"That's what I said for Sawada Tsunayoshi."
His mother coughed to interrupt the heated discussion.
"What if it really was an accident?"
"You're playing right into Sawada Nana/Tsunayoshi's hand." they both growled at her at the same time.
She looked at them one last time and moved to her room and brought back a file.
"Close the investigation if you're planning on following the line that Sawada Nana should be held for attempted murder."
His father glowered at her, and the prefect looked at him in confusion.
"Your father found an interesting point in the case, and was following that line of reasoning instead."
"Enough. I'll drop the case. He doesn't need to hear of this" looking at his son's irritation for being shunned from information, he clarified.
"Kyoya, you're obsessed with the case. I'll take it up in your line of reasoning if you insist. Namimori has other issues to be addressed" when his son looked like he was going to object.
"My decision is final. Unless you've got a good reason why you want to take up the case instead, I'm not handing command."
Hibari Kyoya couldn't help but huff a breath full of irritation, his patrol being more violent than ever before, with people literally running for their life when they had a glimpse of him.
Though his irritation increased tenfold when he saw Sawada Tsunayoshi and his sigh of relief when he looked at him.
In the afternoon at the disciplinary committee room, Kusakabe Tetsuya stretched out an arm having the information. He looked at it and remembered the requests he was checking up last night. He waved his hand in dismissal.
"The case is dropped."
and then the boy he considered, a fairly decent assistant spoke in tangents.
"Kyo-san, do you remember how we met?"
He gave a warning glare at his assistant, unwilling to get into any sort of reminiscing bullshit.
"I was recommended to see you. I was shocked at the suggestion since I was a top delinquent at that time. It irritated me and I threatened him, but he merely giggled and told me to try it out for a week. We were in frequent clashes and I couldn't believe that he could even suggest that, seeing that he was in most of the scenes when it occurred... though we had different circumstances. I beat him up that day, my temper getting the better of me.
But the idea stuck, and the next day I went to try it out, to pass time. He hollered out to me from a tree, to wear the school gakuran and wear a pompadour.
I was amused and bored, so I entertained the idea.
But what was initially for amusement, ended up being something which makes my pride and soul."
His prattling irritated him, and he was preparing to leave the room, giving one last chance to the assistant seeing that he had been tolerable all this while.
But the next time, he wanted to be a chatterbox, he'd bite him to death. He'd keep to that promise.
"Kyo-san... The one who told me to do that was Sawada Tsunayoshi."
The prefect stopped and turned around, confused at the revelation.
"I had doubts regarding his character at that time. I dropped it, but I just wanted to let you know that it didn't feel like you were obsessed with his case. Something is strange with that boy. After a month from the interview, he looked at me with a look like he had predicted it right. It made me shudder."
Hibari looked at his assistant carefully and then looked at the window, assessing the situation.
"I'm dropping the case."
But then he looked at Tetsuya and said.
"Fix a meeting with Yamamoto Takeshi. I have something to clarify."
"Kyo-san!-"
"I want the meeting place and the time today, given to me immediately."
"Yes!"
In the evening, at Namimori park.
Yamamoto Takeshi sat at a swing with a dark expression, but it lightened up to a cheerful facade when he saw Hibari Kyoya. Unfortunately for him, the prefect had seen both expressions, cementing his findings.
"Yo! Hibari-san. I never thought I'd be singled down by you in my life, ahahaha. Is it about that day when I snuck in the Takesushi snacks to school? Sorry, sorry. The guys there wanted a sample of the types of food Pops made. We could never have enough customers, ahahaha.
You should try them too, Hibari.
I think you'd love them."
He said, flashing a blinding glare at him.
The prefect realized he was offered bait that would sidetrack him (school regulations against advertising in school grounds). The boy he thought was a simpleton, seemed a bit more manipulative.
"You're talking too much. What are you hiding?"
"Sorry Hibari-san, The guys and I talk our mouths away. Baseball's way too interesting.
The ball would go whizz and you'd have to make the bat go ka-krack against it and when it flies it feels so good!"
He decided that he had to go for a direct attack if he wanted any information from him, even more so, now that the topic of baseball was being brought up.
"I heard that you were using club funds for personal needs. Particularly for getting your hands on cosmetics. Why would you do that when your manager could have easily bought it?"
"I get that we were wrong for using club funds for personal needs. We wanted to show our appreciation for our manager. She's really dedicated to the club. She even has split nails from fly balls to our infielders. Oh right, infielders are-"
"She doesn't have any use of makeup. I've checked up on her. She's the epitome of a sports lover, from checking her behavior and records. She's hardly seen with makeup. Why would she need it all of a sudden?"
"Hibari-san, a girl needs makeup to look prettier. It's like the dew drops on a flower- an accent to further beautify things, like an angle at which your features are best portrayed-"
This wasn't getting anywhere, he had to get to the heart of the matters.
"The makeup kit with the same serial number was found in Sawada Tsunayoshi's room. He was recently in an incident where he ingested a large amount of bleach through some means and was found hospitalized."
There! The jock could either go into the details when he would question him on how he got this information, and he could use this as an advantage to wring information from him.
Or he could be genuinely shocked and slip the needed details so he could piece together the puzzle.
"That was the makeup which we wanted to give our manager? Well yeah, since it was to be a present. She looks adorable when she tries so hard. But we spend all our time in the field, so we didn't know what to give her. But thankfully, our captain's got a girlfriend-"
He wanted to bite that jock to death. How did he make the wrong connection from that topic to this? He was too idiotic and his patience was running thin. But he had to keep his temper in check. He couldn't spend his time in this case for that long of time. His parents were right, Namimori had other issues.
"Did you know Sawada Tsunyoshi attempted suicide?"
The jock looked at him with an unreadable glance for a moment and then said.
"What?! When did this happen?"
"His mother thought that drinking enough bleach to be hospitalized was an accident."
"Are you consulting me on a case, Hibari? I don't really get the logic in cases, it's too complicated."
"His bathroom habits started this year; his hospitalization took place this year, his interest in buying different room-fresher fragrances started this year. His cosmetics case was bought this year, and the forensics have the proof. The years before this, his mother was using cosmetics which seemed to dwindle rapidly every time she checked, and this is her testimony. She stopped for some reason this year. One bottle of bleach was swallowed, it was the amount which was pumped out- it matches the medical report.
His stomach was bloated with ingesting too much, and his mother attests against him for binge eating habits. She attests that he had a stress free life full of friends. And we both know the truth is different-"
"Tsuna's my friend!" the baseball jock screamed and then put his hands over his mouth, realizing his mistake.
"Yamamoto, give me the truth."
The jock glared at him. A herbivore related to Sawada gave him a glare, adding to his collection of a grand total of 2 people who glared at him in his life. Strange things happened when he checked up on the brunette.
"Hibari, I refuse to sell him out."
He threw a guess into the conversation, hoping it'll give light to the investigation.
"Because he helped you out in the darkest hour of your life? When no one else did?"
The jock's eyes widened and his body shrunk into itself defensively.
"Who did you hear it from?!"
"I have my sources. I've been investigating the case for a long time after all."
He thought a bit and decided to put another guess. No risks no gain after all.
"Who knows, it might have been Sawada who gave me a tidbit."
Then the jock laughed and his posture relaxed, making the prefect tense up at the aspect that the gamble failed.
"Tsuna wouldn't do that. It'd hurt his secret as well. And he doesn't want anyone in the world to know what he's doing."
Hibari's eyes widened and more pieces fit together in the case, in fact, the puzzle was almost completed.
"You attempted suicide?"
Then Yamamoto started to sweat, his arms folded and his hands grasped at his arm as he feigned a fierce look, eyes narrowing in anger.
"This whole thing was a bluff, right?"
Hibari looked unaffected at the behavior, he didn't care if his act got found out since he got the vital information he was looking for... but it didn't change the bitter aftertaste. But the truth was worth it.
The other gripped his hair in frustration.
"I'm such an idiot! I gave both our secrets away."
"To be fair, Sawada's case was a bit transparent.", the withering look Yamamoto gave him did NOT get on his nerves.
"Hibari... don't look down on my information circle. It helps to be an ace of the baseball group sometimes. You're not on the investigation anymore, right?"
He looked at the jock baffled.
"I wouldn't have even come if you were on it."
"I would have bitten you to death."
"Yeah, and I'd let you."
It was a confusing turn of events.
"Then why?"
"Tsuna does interesting things. So I figured you must be the same as me."
He couldn't deny it. Sawada Tsunayoshi turned into an enigma from when he became an elementary grade student. He just couldn't pin him under a category.
"That case you were on was the perfect case to check into him, wasn't it."
He looked at Yamamoto suspiciously.
"Like you were saying, I was a part of his plan, so of course, I was careful. Tsuna doesn't really pay attention to his surroundings or how time passed. My dad told me to ignore the preparation time Tsuna took, look at where that landed me Ahahaha" his laugh was dry and humorless. It also made him add his dad to the list of people who required further background check.
"Well at least your obsession with details made you drop out of the case instead. So everything did turn out fine" the boy had the gall to look patronizing at him.
"...Why were you helping him?"
Yamamoto looked disdainful.
"He has an irritating hobby."
It was a statement which made him flabbergasted. His off guard look made the jock laugh.
"You mean... the boy likes to commit suicide as a hobby?"
Then he looked somber.
"You know a part of the truth, I might as well tell you the whole truth. I got my arm injured before summer vacation. We had to prepare for the koshien, and we had a summer camp. I... couldn't tell my teammates that some people from another school ganged up on me. "
He filed the information for further investigation.
"Gosh, you're such a workaholic.
Well getting back to topic, I told my teammates I wasn't going to the camp, so they... assumed it was because I didn't need to practice to... win...
Anyway, I was in a ... pretty bad place.
I had supplementary too... I couldn't concentrate with... everything and the constant shouts from the teachers didn't help me.
I was ... kind of... depressed...
I climbed to the school roof one day, and things felt very vague to me. It was just my mind-muddling up."
The terrace was wide and the skies were clear, but his arm stung and the doctor's words rung loud.
"Your arm might not work to its full capacity. It's a fracture, it means that with enough exertion, you could be back to a fracture or a dislocation in a better case.
You might also experience mental trauma with an image of a bat."
It was true, he couldn't look at the bat without remembering the bat with people surrounding him and taunting him with the same lines his teammates told him when he told he couldn't come that summer.
He climbed up the fence without knowing and the wind blew across him, making his balance unsteady. His heart beat wildly, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He just looked at the ground and wanted to see a black dream. He wanted everything to end.
He was just so tired.
So... so... tired.
He had experienced life to whatever fullest he did. They won the koshien before, and even if he did recover, he did not care for the surprises life had to offer him.
It was a routine already. It was mighty egoistic for him to say such things, but the fact was... he was tired.
Just then, the door opened and the person he least expected to come appeared: It was Dame-Tsuna.
He looked surprised and then came closer.
The baseball lover laughed in contempt.
"Dame-Tsuna is feeling pity for the ace of the baseball team? Do you like the fact that I've fallen lower than you've did?"
The boy didn't say a thing and climbed over the fence with ease... like he's done this before. He stretched out his hand.
"What? You've been here before? Well, of course, you would. You couldn't handle how useless you were, huh? Now when someone's in the same scenario... you wanna play the HERO huh?
I'm going to jump."
Then the boy looked straight at his eye, blazing gold oddly... and spoke in such confidence, he wondered why he didn't show this side of him before.
"Well duh, I know that's why I'm stretching my hand."
Yamamoto looked down, he's gonna talk about my parents and people who're gonna miss me when I die... looks like even the most inept person in his life can be cooler than him.
"Ok so touch the fence to your right' and I'll put my fingerprints on it to look like I've tried to pull you up but the fence breaks and I slip and fall with you.
So we accidentally fall to our deaths."
His eyes widened and his voice squeaked.
"What?"
"We've got a survival chance of 2%, which is pretty low, especially if we fall with our head first. But you probably need a way to explain to your parents if you survive. It was kinda hard when I tried it before. By the way, Hibari's the toughest nut to crack. He's still on to me."
"You've tried suicide before?"
"Yeah, drank bleach. It's been a secret so far. Namimori thinks it's the job of a clueless, careless kid... Just like I wanted to."
"...Why are you telling me this stuff if it's a secret?"
"Hmm? You're going to die. I'm going to die. The only ones who know the truth would be the ones who died from this building jump. If we survive, we could claim temporary amnesia.
We're both good actors anyway."
"Actors...?"
"Well, you deflect answers to a direction you want consciously by using a part of their previous answer and using a completely different sentence or topic to change the direction of the conversation. People usually attribute that to a person being clueless, but it's a very clever tactic."
It was the first time someone caught him that way, but he didn't want it to be in a situation like this.
"Hibari's case is going to be dropped if this one's a success, but my mom wouldn't take part in it actively and your dad won't testify against this, thinking I tried to stop you. Besides he'd be more worked up over being the only one left in his family."
His eyes teared up as he heard his classmate speak.
"What? Oh, don't worry about the pain, it would be excruciating for a tenth of a second. It's not much if you land on your head. But if you want, I grabbed painkillers from the nurse's office."
"...How...?"
"It's easy if you were the bully victim."
"...Could it be... this bullying stuff...was because you triggered it?"
"I was an easy target. I had a crush on the most popular girl in school. People would hate to see even a small success rate happen. Then, my questions and interruptions in class indicating my struggle to keep up, would get people irritated. And me fumbling and stuttering would irritate people with already tension-filled lives.
If they get bored, I give the perfect reaction to fuel their behavior."
"Why?"
"Because it gives me a detailed analysis of the weak places in my body." He showed a book, which noted the number of punches, kicks, muscle strength to bruise locations in his body and the frequency some part was targetted with each type of conversation.
The jock looked dumbstruck.
"Ok, leaving that aside... Let's get the plan rolling."
The brunette looked so nonchalant that by panic, the jock pulled at his sleeve, making it tear easily.
"Hey, my clothes tear easily. It has only one cross threading done over it anyway."
"They aren't the school's?"
"What, you're planning on tattling to Hibari for an improper modification of uniforms? I don't have the money to get new clothes, and I can't afford to go naked to school."
"Doesn't your parent-"
"You and I both don't want our parents to get into guilt tripping."
His eyes widened as he realized what he was actually planning to do... what he was getting into.
His eyes then darted in full panic towards the other boy who had the same intentions as he did.
"Do you have any idea what you're going to do?! Your parents are going to be so upset you died! Won't you miss them?! Are you going to leave them behind?!"
The boy looked annoyingly apathetic.
"Yamamoto, you're forgetting that this isn't my first attempt."
"Oh right, the bleach." he remembered answering in a small voice.
"Pfft, you got it. That was the most successful one."
'most successful one. Oh dear lord.' he felt dizzy.
"I don't want to do this anymore." he said, remembering his dad and how lonely he looked when his mom passed away.
"Takeshi... mom died, but papa's gonna do his best to be there for you WHENEVER you need it. Papa can't be a mom, but papa's gonna try his very best...
So Takeshi... please don't Leave me... please."
The brunette looked disheartened, and it caught on his nerves.
"...When did you... plan this?" he said as he climbed over the unbroken fence, every word his classmate said ringing in his head.
He looked serenely at him, sending chills to the bottom of his spine.
"From the start of the summer vacation, the beginning of the supplementary classes." he then proceeded to f*cking smile and Yamamoto never felt as much of a desire to wipe a gorgeous smile from a person's face.
"Well it was an idea in the beginning, but it got solidified after a week."
Yamamoto looked at Hibari and gave him a wistful smile
'We might have completely different personalities, but there's something we both want to keep.'
"I tried to jump off, but Tsuna wanted to jump with me."
And looking at the way the prefect tensed, he smiled a bit wider seeing that, they did have the same intentions.
"I backed out in the last minute and forced Tsuna over as well."
The prefect relaxed and he let out an easy laugh.
"Sure he was pissed, but yeah, we both grumbled our way out of supplementary. Ahahaha."
It was a talk which set his mind to ease, as well as install a new policy in his system. Especially since there were idiots who thought erasing competition, no matter how scarce it was, seemed like a good idea. Weaklings, the lot of them. They deserved to be bitten to death.
And this time, he could glare back at the brunette when he shot him looks of disdain, with absolutely no feelings of regret or unease.
Coming back to the most recent incident, when he became a 7th grader
He had gone to school, digging a hole at the cleaned up alley, not even caring for the desecration of public property and putting the being in the makeshift grave as an honor for protecting a Namimori student, and leaving a yellow rose as proof of being the newest member of the disciplinary committee.
The man who had kept the barrel outside as a part of the setup for the leaky pipe had been bitten to death for being so weak to seek a temporary solution.
And the barrel was burnt for holding a source of contamination and being a passive bystander to crimes (no matter how illogical it sounded because Hibari was law.)
And the miscreants were treated just like how miscreants were, with a permanently black record, and a fixed (and recurring) appointment to the psychiatrist with broken bones and teeth. They were to participate in recreational activities to actually be worth the resources invested in them.
They were also threatened to never group together or approach students for malicious intents and were blacklisted in the surveillance system installed in the town, which now included obscure alleys.
And there was more committee members patrolling town.
When he saw the brunette approach his tree at the break, his eyes hardened as he thought.
'You reap what you've sown' and reproached the part of him that wanted to beat the boy for looking like his soul got crushed.
He glanced at Yamamoto who was looking at the brunette from the window and then back at Tsunayoshi.
When the boy didn't glare at him for ONCE and sat there, he gave a grunt of approval and relaxed completely at the branch.
When he looked at the gravestone engraved 'Natsu', he paused and removed his jacket and placed it over the stone.
'Those herbivores better see what they're up against if they touch that jacket. I'll feed their grinded bones to them.'
A new activity was added to the roster of the disciplinary committee: Alley cleaning.
If the gravestone looked clean from the day onwards, it was because the committee couldn't leave the dusted jacket of Hibari over a dirty place. It was for no other reason.
Preview:
The torture had changed from drowning to peeling nails. Even though Tsuna watched it through, he couldn't keep still and his heart was racing and the memory was replaying.
He didn't want any deja- vus this time.
So he'd explore how true the world was with respect to the tales his delusion told him... chances are they aren't (He hoped so. He hoped it wasn't true with all his heart.)
So he checked out the place which couldn't exist.