I had put my phone away while staring out at the water and the way the sun was hitting it at the edge. I had been lost in thought when Throttle put his hand on my shoulder to snap me out of my thoughts. He lightly shook me to get my attention, but it didn't work. That's how lost in my thoughts I was.

Throttle turned me towards him so I was face to face with him. I stared at him but didn't really look at him. He noticed that I had been crying. He saw the streaks of darker brown fur from my tears. It saddened him to see tears on my face. He reached up and wiped the tears from my face, then asked me what was wrong.

I still didn't acknowledge him. I wanted to be anywhere but where I was and get all the thoughts of what my former son, Tony, had said to me out of my head. I didn't want to think about what he said to me. He wasn't my son anymore, yet he's always in the forefront of my mind. I don't know why, either.

I wanted to take a big rock and walk into the water 'til I drown. I couldn't believe I had those kinds of thoughts. I had the perfect out. I think a lot of it is due to being raped,…again. I had been violated for a 2nd time. I didn't want to be where I was. I wanted to be alone…for the rest of my life. I have been taking care of myself long before I moved to Chicago.

I turned around and walked to my car. I didn't say a word to Throttle. Just got in my car and left. Right before I left the parking lot, I took my ring off and threw it towards the beach. I had decided to text Shawn and tell him that he can come to my apartment instead and texted him the address for that instead. I headed for my place to get things ready for Shawn to come over.
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The Gold Coast beach. Throttle stood there and couldn't figure out what was going with me. He saw something shiny in the sand and walked over to what it was. Right before he picked up the shiny thing, he had noticed that it was my wedding ring. He didn't know if should call me or not. He picked up my ring and put it in his pants pocket. He decided to call his mom to see if I had come back to the house.

"No, Throttle. Michelle hasn't come back to the house. Is everything alright?"

"I don't know, mom. She threw her ring onto the beach before she left. Could you please call her or have Ty do it. I need to know what's going on with her. She wouldn't acknowledge me at all when she was here at the beach."

"I'll have Tyrone give her a call. Come on home, son. I'll fix you something to eat."

Throttle smiled. "Sounds good, mom. I'll be home soon." Then he ended the call.
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I arrived at my old apartment in about 45 mins. I parked the car, turned the engine off and got out. I locked the door then walked upstairs to my place. I pulled out my keys and unlocked the door then walked in.

After I shut the door, I locked it then took my shoes off by the door. I hung up my keys by the door then walked into the kitchen to get dinner ready. I didn't have a whole lot of time to get things done, but I was going to try. I decided that I was gonna take a shower and get changed into some clean clothes.

Another 30 mins. later, I felt much better and cleaner. I walked from the bathroom to my bedroom and got into something more comfortable. Something like pajamas.

After I was dressed, I walked into the kitchen and got things out for dinner. I decided to make spaghetti. It was a simple dinner to make and I would have left overs for a couple of nights.

While I was getting it made, my cell phone was ringing. I knew I wasn't expecting any phone calls from anyone.

I turned the heat down for the hamburger, then went into my room to answer the phone. I looked to see who was calling. I saw that it was Ty. I answered it.

"Hey mom."

"What do you need, Ty? I have a long time friend coming over, so I don't have a lot of time to talk."

"I just wanted to call and say thank you for letting me get the game I wanted and to tell you that I loved your concert last weekend. You have a beautiful singing voice."

I smiled. "Thank you, Ty. I'm glad you enjoyed the concert. Tell grandma I'm fine and just needed some time alone for a while. I'll be back home sometime next week."

"Ok mom. Think you could teach me to play an instrument?"

"Like what?"

"Drums, maybe."

"I never learned to play an instrument, Ty. The one person that could teach you to play drums is no longer with the band. Your father knows this. He also knows what happened to me."

"What do you mean, mom? What happened?"

"I was raped by the former drummer, Brian. He was kicked out of the band."

"Oh god! I'm so sorry, mom. What about the rest of the band? What do they play?"

"Both Sean and Seamus play guitar. Jake just drove the bus."

"Think Sean and Seamus could teach me how to play guitar?"

"I can call them and find out. Can I ask why the sudden urge to learn to play?"

"I've been writing songs and I would like to put them to music."

"I would love to read your songs sometime, son. Maybe I can help put them to music and put a voice to them, as well."

"I'd love that, mom. Call me before you go to bed, ok?"

"I will try, Ty. Be good for your father and grandma 'til I get home."

"I will, mom. See ya." Then I ended the call and went back to finishing making dinner.
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5p rolled around and there was a knock on the door. I looked through the peephole and saw Shawn. I unlocked the door and let him in.

"Where's your daughter?"

"I managed to find a babysitter at the last min. Why did you want me to come her instead of your house?"

"I'm taking some time away from family. I've had things on my mind and didn't want to burden them with it."

"You ok? You look a little green."

"I'm pregnant."

"Congrats."

"I was raped. I'm going to abort it like I did the last time I was raped."

"I didn't know. Sorry."

Its ok. Please take your shoes off and have a seat at the table. Dinner is ready."

"What is it?"

"Spaghetti. My mom taught me to make it."

"Can't wait to try it."

Shawn had taken his shoes off while talking with me.

I was in the kitchen getting his plate ready. He walked into the kitchen and took the plate from me. He set it down on the counter and then wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked down at his arms around my waist, then took them off of me.

"I can't that do that to Throttle, Shawn. This is not what I had in mind when I asked you over for dinner."

"What he doesn't know, won't hurt him."

"I won't hurt him like that, Shawn. Its not right."

I tried to walk out of the kitchen, but Shawn stopped me. I didn't like where this was going. I pushed him out of my way and ran to my room and closed the door. I picked up my cell phone and called Throttle. I needed help. I put the cell on speaker phone.
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Throttle was on his way home when his cell phone rang. He pulled over and took his helmet off and answered his phone. He saw that it was me.

Throttle could hear the sounds of a door being banged on as well as a voice saying to let the person in.

"What's going on, Michelle? What's the noises I hear in the background?"

"Its Shawn! He's trying to break into my bedroom! He was trying to make a move on me while I was dishing up his dinner! I need your help, Throttle! I can't get rid of him!"

"Are you at the apartment?"

"Yeah, I am! Please hurry! I can't keep him out of the room for much longer!"

"I'll be there in a few."

"Don't end the call, please!" I was practically crying. I had already gone through 2 sexual assaults. I didn't need to go through a 3rd.

Throttle left the call going while he rushed to the apartment to stop Shawn from attacking me.
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Throttle got there in 10 mins. flat. Jumped off the bike and ran up the stairs and broke down the front door. He knew he would have to pay for it later and he was ok with that.

He saw Shawn trying to break down my bedroom door. Throttle speared Shawn and they both landed on the floor with Throttle landing on top of Shawn. He started beating him into submission.

I opened my bedroom door and saw Throttle beating Shawn. I had called the cops before I opened my door. I got scared when Shawn had started making moves on me in the kitchen. I had a bad feeling about what was gonna happen if I had let it continue.

About 20 mins. later, the police showed up and walked up the stairs. They noticed the broken front door and called out.

I walked to the living room and approached the police.

"Did you call, ma'am?"

"Yes, I did. I'd like you to arrest someone for attempted sexual assault." Then I lead them to the hallway. Throttle had Shawn pinned to the wall, face first.

"This is the guy I want arrested, officer. The one who is pinned to the wall. He tried to break into my bedroom."

They looked at Throttle. "Who are you?"

"I'm her husband. She called me first to help her restrain him. Which is why the front door is busted."

The officer nodded and took Shawn into custody. "Do you plan to press charges against him, ma'am?"

"Yes! Take him away and let me know when I need to come in to make a formal statement."