House. Slytherin

Category. Theme.

Prompt. [Speech] "I'm not sure the protocol for revealing secret identities, so… hi, I guess?"

Word Count. 2346

A/N. Prepare yourself for an extremely fluffy and silly AU. Like, seriously. Your eyes may burn from overexposure to fluffiness. And let me repeat - this is AU!

oO0Oo

"You look very nice," Hermione giggled. Dressed in an eye-catching Superman costume complete with fake abs and shoulder pads, Harry looked very heroic. "Now tell me again why we're here in a muggle store buying superhero costumes?"

"Let's just call it a hunch." Harry gave her a mischievous grin. "Where's your costume, Hermione?"

"Really?"

"Really." Harry strode across the aisle and pulled something off the rack. "Here," he said, tossing it at Hermione. It was a Wonder Woman costume. "Try that on."

"But it's so revealing!" she protested, eying the model on the front with suspicion. There was no way that body shape was natural.

"Try it on anyways. With a few well-placed glamours, no one'll know it's you wearing it."

Hermione looked at Harry. "I like Wonder Woman, but what makes you think I'll ever have a chance to wear this?"

"Let's call it a hunch," Harry repeated with a wink. "Now, into the changing room you go!"

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Later that evening, when Hermione went over to Ginny's flat and complained about Harry's strange behaviour to her friend, Ginny nodded sympathetically.

"He brought me to that same costume shop," the redhead said. "Said he wanted me to dress up like some reporter girl — Louis Raine, I think he called her — and he was quite upset that the shop didn't have a Louis Raine outfit. Told me he'd buy me one somewhere else."

"Really?" Hermione said, laughing a little. "I think you mean Lois Lane… but oh Ginny, he was dressing up as Superman when we went shopping. That's just too precious."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's cute that he's dressing up as Superman and you as Lois. In the muggle comics, those two always ended up together."

Ginny took a moment to process the information before her face lit up. "Oh, that is adorable. We've been dating for almost six years now."

"If you ask me, this looks like a sign that Harry's going to pop the question soon." Hermione winked at her friend. "So, where's this Lois Lane costume of yours? I'd love to see it."

"It's over here in the closet, Harry mailed it to me a couple of days ago but I didn't think much of it…"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Kingsley? What do you mean that Ministry event my team's been planning is set on Samhain?"

"Hermione, you know how it is. It's been 25 years since the Potters died in Godric's Hollow and the press wanted to commemorate You-Know-Who's temporary defeat." The Minister sighed. "Of course, then Harry had to get involved."

"What did he do?" Hermione asked, shaking her head slightly and wondering if Harry had managed to cancel the event. It would be nice to spend Halloween at her flat handing out candy to muggle children.

"Oh, he turned the whole ceremony — which was supposed to be very serious, of course — into some type of muggle costume party."

"He did what?"

"A muggle costume party. We're supposed to dress up, and anybody's welcome to attend."

Hermione sighed. "Lovely." Well, now she knew why Harry had insisted she purchase that Wonder Woman costume. "Thanks for the heads up, Kingsley. I'll be sure to let my team know."

"Of course." Kingsley nodded, then left her office.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

That evening, Hermione stopped by Ginny's flat before going home. "Ginny?" she said after knocking. "It's me, Hermione."

"Oh, come on in," Ginny answered, pulling open the door and letting Hermione in. "What happened?"

Hermione grinned. "There's a costume party at the Ministry on Samhain," she said.

"Hmm. You think this is why Harry insisted we get these costumes?"

"Definitely. You want to get ready together?"

"Of course," the redhead said with a wink at Hermione. "Lois Lane is a muggle reporter, and you know how muggle reporters dress. Think they wear five inch stilettos?"

Hermione laughed. "Probably not, but for you, we can make an exception. I know Harry loves those stilettos. I'll be here by four?"

"Yup. See you then!"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

After hours spent perfecting their costumes, the Hermione and Ginny were ready for the Halloween party. Hermione, in her knee-high boots and her cleavage-baring top, felt extremely exposed and only ventured into public with a strong glamor over her face; meanwhile, Ginny was the picture of a muggle reporter, just a very wanton muggle reporter. Her costume left even less to the imagination than Hermione's (if that was even possible), and Hermione knew for a fact that underneath her professional-seeming clothes, her friend was wearing matching lingerie.

"Are you really going to the Ministry like that?" Hermione had hissed when Ginny had emerged from the bathroom in her costume.

"Of course!" Ginny had replied. "No one'll know it's me, not if you cast a glamor over my face too — only Harry will, since he bought the costume with me, and that's the point, Hermione."

Hermione had shrugged, rather uncomfortable that Harry had insisted that she buy the Wonder Woman costume, but she brushed the thought away. Harry was like her brother and he knew it; plus, he was entirely smitten with Ginny. "Whatever you say," she had said. "You ready?"

"I always am."

After stepping into Ginny's fireplace and Flooing into the Ministry, the two women found themselves in the Atrium — however, it looked a far cry from its usual self. The lights were dim, and instead of little slips of violet paper flitting across a peacock-blue ceiling, there were bats flying around, their silhouettes clearly outlined against the dark orange ceiling.

"They've done a stupendous job," Hermione said, her eyes wide as she took in the room. Other guests were arriving by the second, and she spotted waiters — dressed in muggle werewolf, vampire, and ghost costumes — circulating and handing out little wrapped objects. She took one herself from the "ghost" who approached her. "Look, Ginny!" she said, tugging on her friend's sleeve. "It's a Twix!"

"What's a Twix?" Ginny asked, distracted. She was on her tiptoes, peering into the crowd and searching for someone.

"It's a muggle candy," Hermione said with a laugh. "I used to love these. Harry's done a fabulous job."

"Did someone say my name?" Harry appeared out of nowhere, giving Ginny a surprise hug and then releasing her. "You two look very nice."

"Thanks," Ginny said with a smirk. She gave Harry's costume a once-over. "You don't look to bad yourself."

At the blatant exaggeration, Hermione couldn't help but laugh. Sure, the Superman costume gave Harry anatomically impossible broad shoulders and insanely large bulging muscles, but she wouldn't say he looked good. "Well, 'Superman', you certainly have saved the day. The 'Commemoration of You-Know-Who's First Defeat' would have been mind-numbingly dull — I would know, I was on the planning committee for it."

Harry chuckled. "That's what Superman does, after all. He saves people in need." He looked at Ginny, then added, "I'll be saving this one from a life of spinsterhood."

"Very funny," Ginny deadpanned, "but you'd better not say it unless you mean it, Harry James Potter."

"Well, I've got until the night is out, then," Harry said with a wink. "But anyway, you won't believe this. There's someone here dressed as Batman."

"Who?" Hermione asked, her curiosity piqued.

"I'm not sure," Harry replied. "But I think it's a guy, and I last saw him over there by the drinks." He gestured in to the left.

"Let's go over and find this Batman then," Hermione said. "Come on." She set off, followed by Harry and Ginny.

"Who's Batman?" she heard Ginny say.

"He's a superhero too," Harry said in reply. "He fights crime, and in the Justice League episodes, he and Wonder Woman are seen as a couple."

"Wait…" Hermione could hear the amusement in her friend's voice. "Isn't she dressed up as Wonder Woman?"

"She is," Harry laughed.

Hermione spun. "Oh stop it, both of you know that I'm not going to fall head-over-heels in love with whoever this dude is. And wasn't Wonder Woman the princess of Themiskyra? She ruled an island of Amazons. She wasn't interested in men."

Harry smirked. "'Was' is the keyword there, Diana."

Hermione huffed. "Oh, be quiet, Clark. I seem to remember a quite a few seasons of Smallville dealing with your mooning over Lana Lang before you met Lois here."

Ginny glared at Harry in mock-outrage. "I thought you said there was no one else before me?"

Harry gave her a mischievous grin, which was a strange sight on Superman's normally stoic countenance. "There wasn't baby, and there never will be. No one can compare to those five-inch stilettos. Even Wonder Woman couldn't pull them off."

"Very funny," Ginny said with a roll of her eyes.

"I hate to interrupt your oh-so-interesting conversation," Hermione said, raising her voice to be heard over the crowd, "but where is this Batman, Clark?"

"Hmmm… I don't see him," Harry said. "But I do see Ron! His costume is shite — he's dressed as a keeper for the Chudley Cannons — but he's right there."

Ginny laughed. "He's seriously dressed as a Keeper for the Cannons? He plays Keeper for them anyway! That's ridiculous."

"You guys go on over, but I think I'll keep looking for Batman," Hermione said with a grimace. "I'd rather not see Ron right now."

For a split-second, Harry frowned before schooling his face into a more appropriate expression. "Got it, Hermione."

"Yeah," Ginny added. "My brother was a real prat when he broke up with you. We'll leave you alone now… have fun chasing down your mysterious Batman!" After a cheery wave and a knowing wink, Ginny dragged Harry off into the crowd.

Hermione smiled at her friend's antics, then set off in search of Batman. It would be difficult to find him — the Atrium was packed with people, and in the dim lighting it was hard to tell who was who without getting close. Hermione pushed her way through the crowd, marvelling at the sheer variety of costumes: she had already seen a couple Weird Sisters, a Lockhart, a Dumbledore, quite a few Quidditch players, and (to what she knew would be surely be Harry's horror) a couple Boy-Who-Lived at varying ages.

After searching the crowd for ages and bearing the perverted leers of a Dumbledore, a Fudge, and (oddly enough) a Margaret Thatcher, Hermione finally found Batman standing in a corner and nursing his drink.

Hermione grabbed a drink from a passing werewolf and sidled up to him. "So… you're a rich billionaire playboy?" she said by way of greeting, sipping her cider and looking at him over the rim of her glass.

He looked up, seemingly surprised that someone was talking to him. Then he smirked. "That I am," he said, his voice low, gravelly, and entirely unnatural. He probably had a voice-changer on. "I take you are the Princess of the Amazons?"

"Most certainly," Hermione replied with a chuckle. "We Amazons may not allow men on our islands, but we certainly know how to dress for them."

He laughed along with her. "That is a revealing costume you have on there; nonetheless, I must say that you look stunning in it."

Hermione blushed a little. "Thanks," she said. "You don't look half-bad yourself."

"These?" He flexed his arm. "These are mostly glamors, but I appreciate the compliment."

Following that, the two stood there at the edge of the party, snacking on candies, sipping their respective drinks, and chatting the night away. As the party came to a close, Hermione found she had really enjoyed her time with the mysterious Batman, and so she said as much. "I know Batman keeps his secret identity, well, secret," she said, toying with the coil of rope hanging from her waist as she spoke. "But I'd like to know the man beneath the mask."

"You want to see Bruce Wayne?" he said dryly.

She nodded. "I do."

He sighed, looking away from her. "I'd rather not."

"Well… what if I promise to reveal myself after?" Hermione licked her lips, nervous at showing the world just who was wearing the skimpy Wonder Woman costume, but at this moment, her curiosity was worth much, much more than her potential embarrassment.

He tilted his head, as though he were thinking it over. Finally, he nodded. "That would work." He reached up to his mask and slowly began to pull it over his head, saying as he did so, "I'm not sure the protocol for revealing secret identities, so… hi, I guess?"

It was Draco Malfoy. It was Draco Malfoy beneath that mask, Draco Malfoy whom she had spent the entire evening chatting with. The mask came off as he said "hi", and Hermione was dumbstruck.

"H-hi," she stammered. "I-I guess it's my turn now?"

"It is," he said, his grey eyes never leaving hers as she took out her wand and ever so slowly took the glamor off herself. When it was finally gone, she gave him a small smile. "Hullo, Malfoy."

"Granger?!"

"The one and only," she laughed.

"Hermione?" Harry suddenly intruded, a rather drunken Ginny leaning heavily on his side. "Ginny and I are leaving now, so don't wait up for us— Malfoy?"

"Granger, who's this?" Malfoy sneered.

"It's Harry." She nodded to her friends. "Bye, have a good time, and for goodness sake propose to her already!"

"Already have," Harry replied with a grin. "Bye Hermione!"

He disappeared again, leaving Hermione with Malfoy.

"Figures that Potter would be Superman," Malfoy muttered.

Hermione chuckled. "I thought the same. Interesting, though, that you chose to dress as Batman."

"What can I say?" Malfoy replied. "A rich billionaire playboy with a big house, a haunted past, and a hankering for his own brand of justice… there's no one I can relate with more. I'll see you around, Granger."

And then he was gone, swallowed by the crowd, and Hermione was left with some interesting revelations: namely, she had enjoyed her time spent with Draco Malfoy. Perhaps she ought to stop by the 'Wayne mansion' more often.