Chapter 16
With Such Sweet Sorrow
Aurhor's Note: Okay, I think I teared up a bit writing the end of this one, but that might just be me. You guys be the judge! Also, sorry it took so long to update. I've been really busy lately and I was stuck on the middle part of this chapter. Enjoy!
Brianna wondered if she could be anymore anxious about leaving Rivendell than she already was. For the entire night she stood up and down pacing from one side of the room to the other. Every so often she went through her packs, checked the integrity of her boots and straps for her weapons, inspected the two silver bracelets she wore where her hidden weapons were kept locked away in various charms, and paced around the length of her rooms with a nervous energy she couldn't quite explain. This anxiousness was strange to her. Anticipation was one thing, but to actually be nervous about a pending journey was a strange place for her to be.
In the end she wandered into her bathing chambers and filled and heated the marble tub herself so as to not disturb the elf maid who attended to her knees and was likely asleep. Well, she amended, the elf maid probably did have something better to do than wait on her every little need. At least she hoped that was the case. The idea of servants always troubled her one way or another. It felt too class restrictive, as if those serving her didn't have better prospects other than waiting on her hand and foot. This thought led her to make ready the majority of the baths she took, lay out a sheer silk nightgown incredibly soft to the touch, and unlace the ties that held her dress together. Once the last lace slipped from its loop Brianna shrugged out of it and allowed the fabric to pool around her feet.
The braid came out next - an intricate design that the maid servant had spent an hour folding into place earlier that morning. It took mere seconds to completely undo all of it. Bronze waves cascaded down the length of her back and danced around the lowest curve of her back. She moved to a small shelf that housed multiple jars of different bath oils and selected a particularly floral smelling one to tip into the steaming bath water. Once the smell filled the room she stepped gingerly into the near scalding water and sank into its depths.
A content sigh escaped her lips. This would likely be the last time she could take a bath for a long time. Lorien would likely have that provision, but they still had to get there. The trek over the mountains, taking the path Glorfindel laid out, would take two weeks if the lot of them traveled swiftly. Two more weeks, at the least, faced the group after the mountains were left behind.
And how much time will I have to rest in Lorien? Probably very little if I know my luck, she thought.
She didn't have any preconceived notions about the amount of time she would invest in research alone. She'd spent the majority of her free time in Lord Elrond's massive library searching the tomes, translating passages she couldn't quite make out from the ancient elvish into the universal Common Tongue. It was lucky, she supposed, that she landed herself into a world where a portion of its population actually spoke something that resembled seventeenth century High English dialect.
Brianna dunked her head under the water for a few long moments and broke the surface with a gasp. Her long hair pooled around her like thin tendrils of seaweed in calm bay waters. A moment later she broke the surface and gulped in a generous amount of air into her barely strained lungs. It was a good breathing exorcise and it kept her skills quite versatile all things considered. She needed a better place to practice breathing for long periods of time underwater. In the rare instance someone could block her magic it would be incredibly useful.
With that thought she rose from her bath, drained the water, and stepped back into her bed chamber. Two windows gaped open before her and a gentle wind blew in from the north slightly warmed by whatever sort of enchantment Lord Elrond held his lands under. Goosebumps played along the length of her skin and a shudder wracked up the length of her spine. It wasn't brought on by the cold. That knowledge prompted her to clasp her elbows with each hand in an effort to steady her unsettled soul.
Days passed since Aragorn's departure and Brianna couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right. No amount of work she poured her time and energy in assayed that feeling. It rammed into her subconscious like a persistent woodpecker and refused to acknowledge that there were no bugs in the wood. Except clearly there was something there because it sometimes did luck out and find something only to prod it into the forefront of her mind.
She shook her head, disgusted with herself, and turned to don her traveling clothes. When her fingers grazed over the silver chain that kept Aragorn's ring Brianna paused in her mad ascent to leave her rooms for the gates. She should leave the ring with Elrond. It would find itself back to Aragorn's hands and the man could give it to someone who actually deserved it! A human woman he could grow old with, bare children with, die with and not have to worry about leaving. She was going to leave, she would live forever, she…
Brianna closed her eyes and clenched both hands into tight fists. It was as if her heart would break! It hurt to consider it, but she forced herself to face her reality. She stared it in the eye. A breath. Then another. Moments passed where she stood unmoving before her fingers reached out, closed around the ring's chain and lifted it to clasp around her neck.
If Aragorn wanted her to have it, she would keep it until the day she left Arda for home.
Minutes later found Brianna traversing the halls of Elrond's winding house to the courtyard where her traveling partners waited. Aragorn's ring hung proudly from her neck and settled boldly just beyond her collarbone. Elrohir and Elladan were the only two of her companions to have arrived. Arwen and Glorfindel had yet to emerge and she suspected they were stealing the last few minutes of alone-time that remained before they were to leave. She didn't blame them. Had she been given the chance in the past…
She frowned and blinked away the memory. Alyan's image had burst across the vision of her mind's eye and threatened to plunge her into a day's long despondence. Judah's loss had hurt, but she didn't think she'd ever be able to get over the horror of watching Ba'al mutilate the ellon she had desperately loved to death. A lump formed in her throat and she couldn't stop the process of her mind morphing Alyan's figure into Aragorn's. Her blood ran cold.
This… my leaving is for the best, she thought resolutely.
Elrohir and Elladan nodded to her upon arrival and continued checking their individual packs. Brianna glanced questioning at Elrohir who merely nodded to a bench some ways from the gate where three more leather packs quietly waited for their owners to select them. Silent as a cat Brianna moved forward and picked out the one tailored to her height. She flipped open the top flap and rummaged through every item assigned to her. Medicinal herbs, the seeds of different plants she'd requested, food fit for travel, extra weapons, bed roll and blanket, wool cloak, and a letter from Lord Elrond to Lady Galadriel concerning Brianna's purpose. She nodded to herself and moved the bag she personally packed over her head and to the ground. Carefully she took the shoulder straps and expertly fit them around the thick bag that housed her extra clothes, a few bindings of her notes on the country side and the elvish dialect of Sindarin, and Bilbo's translated copy of The Lay of Luthien.
As she finished wrapping the final strap Glorfindel and Arwen walked up to the gate clad in simple travel wear of grey and green. Their hands were linked with no intention of releasing the other any time soon. For a moment Brianna felt jealous of their ability to be together. Their relationship was as uncomplicated as a field of flowers growing in springtime and they could be as they were. Arwen didn't have to worry about her impending departure, she didn't need to fear the prospect of Glorfindel choosing to grow old, and she certainly wasn't worried about whoever the bloody hell Erebus was working for and if Glorfindel would die because of it.
Brianna bit the inside of her lip to bring her out of it. Guilt followed the brief pain soon after. It was such a useless sentiment to have! Arwen likely had fears concerning the journey they would embark upon. She couldn't let her fiancé leave without her! Clearly she understood that association with Brianna was dangerous and instead of resenting her for it Arwen chose to follow them into the unknown darkness. The complications of their relationship were irrelevant to the truth of the matter. Brianna wanted what they had with Aragorn, knew she couldn't get it, and tried to resent them for it.
And that is a disgusting display of selfishness, she thought, berating herself. I can't afford this weakness. Not if something worse beyond Erebus lurks in the background.
"The weather is fair this day," Arwen remarked.
"Yes, sister, let's hope it remains for journey's sake," Elladan remarked.
Brianna readjusted her newly configured pack across her back and nodded to her elleth friend. Arwen's eyes shown with an excitement that Brianna was loth to kill. Eventually, there would be a moment where the danger'd become all too real. Until then she elected for her friend to remain blissfully ignorant. When she chanced a look at Glorfindel the conclusion seemed to have reached him as well.
"Is all ready?" The Elf Lord asked.
All members of their company looked to Brianna. Her mouth dried and she forced saliva across her tongue and the ridge of her mouth. As thankful as she was for their company she missed Karen and Matt.
But they're not here and I can't rely on them as I would. We will need to learn each other quickly in case the worst comes to pass, she thought.
"If all of us are sufficiently prepared, then we'd best go," Brianna said to them.
Once an affirmation had been received Brianna nodded to Glorfindel and allowed him to lead them into the wild once more.
Loki hadn't actually intended for his group to materialize in the private chambers of a princess. Unfortunately for all involved he had done just that. Whether the mistake was Matt's - who tended to think on a certain norse "goddess" from time to time - or his was a bit of a coin-toss. The situation might have been made better had said princess not been in the middle of removing her garments for the purpose of plunging her body into a piping hot tub at the other end of the surprisingly large room. She'd screamed. Matt had exclaimed some word of surprise and made a conscious effort to cover his eyes and ears. Karen yelled at both of them.
What had Loki done during all of this, one may ask? He stared at the partially clothed young woman - mostly human he surmised though he did detect traces of elvish in her cheeks and the light of her eyes - calmly measuring her. The girl's face was flushed a rather fetching red and, had humans been his type, Loki would have labeled her quite the beauty. What impressed him was the way she grabbed an iron poker that rested near her large fire and chucked it at them.
Loki caught it before it's tip met with Matt's covered head. This time the young human ran up to him with a dangerously sharp knife in hand.
"Now none of that!" Loki chided and grabbed her wrist before she had a chance to plunge the knife into his heart.
Matt and Karen ceased their bickering that moment and gaped at the two incredulously. The human struggled against his grip but to no avail.
"Oi mate! Ya have teh scare the lass?" Karen asked, Scottish brogue thick in the moment.
Then the door was flung open and the girl's guards finally decided to make themselves known. They crowded into the room and lowered their spears in their direction. Loki rolled his eyes and released a long - put upon - sigh. He glanced at the human with one dark brow raised and a smirk adorning his lips. Her green eyes blazed up at him and Loki wondered just how effective the fire element would be if she had the ability to use it.
"Your guards are painfully slow. I'd recommend nee ones who are actually alert," he deadpanned.
The guards echoed a number of foul curses in his direction. Loki grinned at them.
"Really! You're lucky we actually don't want to hurt her because she'd be dead by now!" He chirped.
They began to approach with the points of their spears leveled dangerously at their necks. Beside him Matt and Karen raised their hands into the air.
"You bloody old ones are bloody mental," Karen grumbled.
"Oh Miss Gillian, I don't think that was necessary," Loki responded dryly.
A rapid tapping brought them out of their conversation and each looked to the human girl watching them with a mixture of anger and awe. Loki cleared his throat and nodded to her - indicating that they were ready to hear what she had to say.
"Who are you that appear in my chambers? What do you wish of me?" She asked.
Loki grinned. Karen groaned in apprehension. Matt simply sighed and shook his head.
"I am Loki and these are my compadres, The Nagger and The Accidental Chemist. We're here because we're looking for an elf by the name of Brianna Davis. Have you happen to have met her?" He asked.
The human tensed and she fisted her hands around her pale blue underdress. Green eyes narrowed to thin slits.
"This is the house of Prince Imrahil in Dol Amroth. There are very few elves that live here and the ones that do have no such name," she said with no small of bite in her tone.
Karen interjected before Loki could, "She might be an elf, but she can look human if she wants. Her eyes, though, they'll look a bit strange. See anything like tha'?"
The girl crossed her arms and frowned. Light blue-grey eyes framed by long feminine lashes flickered between each of their faces. Loki waited, curious as to what it was she intended to do, and seemingly unconcerned. Beside him Karen and Matt fidgeted in their slight tells. From the look on the girl's face he would have bet his immortality this lady noticed every nervous twitch.
I'll need to speak with Artemis about this, he thought, hunters shouldn't give tells or nervous twitches.
"My father is out on the docks this morning," the partially clothed lady finally announced, "I will have you escorted to separate rooms and guarded heavily until he returns. I presume that, if you are indeed friends, then you will not oppose this arrangement."
The hunters rustled with identical airs of uneasiness. Loki fought the urge to roll his eyes. He understood, truly he did, but this they had to separation needed to end eventually. Now was the perfect opportunity. If their hosts proved false they could probably kill them without too much of a sweat.
"I certainly don't see an issue with it. Lead on, lady," he said smoothly.
Her eyes narrowed, but no reply came forth. She nodded to her guards and they moved to surround them. Loki met Matt and Karen's eyes communicating his one silent command. They willingly obliged and allowed the soldiers to take them to whatever sort of nasty dungeon awaited them.
Aragorn's return journey was as uneventful as the first. His meeting with Halbarad and the other leaders of the Dunadain as few as they were. A few weeks in the wilderness had produced no sign of the enemy and found him returning to Rivendell briefly before setting out once again to begin his task in scouting the best route out of Imladris and over the mountains. Gandalf would be a much needed consultant before embarking on such a task.
It was late evening before Aragorn noticed signs of a much roamed forest. A few houses inhabited by small elven and human families he'd watched from afar for decades. One elven female - the wife of one of Lord Elrond's men - raised her arm in greeting when she'd seen him. Aragorn returned it with a silent nod before traveling onward.
Three days from Imladris, he thought.
His heart hurt at the thought. He'd kept count of the days. How could he not? Hope had been given even if it was slight and highly unlikely. He was three days passed the beginning of December and Brianna was gone. Aragorn tried, at first, to push his sore disappointment to the back of his mind. It was for naught as the prospect of never seeing her again released several other emotions he'd kept carefully regulated for several weeks.
Aragorn swallowed past the lump that formed in his throat and he forced his mind to return to the task at hand. Resolutely, Aragorn continued his task in scouting the land around Imladris for an inkling of an enemy and to give an accurate count of possible paths toward the Fellowship's destination. To Mordor. To Sauron. To Gondor. To his kingdom this time as Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King-Apparent of the realm. He didn't want it. For centuries his forefathers had chosen to rule Arthedain and later the remnant of the Dunadain in Arnor. They had studiously avoided returning to Gondor as kings and went so far as to hide their identities and move quietly across the lands as ghosts.
Voices startled him from his reverie and Aragorn fell into the shadows of the growing evening's twilight. He watched the narrow path ten feet away and waited for the voices to come closer. The dark figure of Elrohir materialized through the gloom first followed closely by his brother, Elladan. Glorfindel trailed a little ways behind them walking the narrow path casually. Arwen was directly behind him discussing some subject or another Aragorn couldn't quite pick out. A little ways away from them was Brianna.
As always when seeing her, his breath hitched and a number of emotions he had yet to completely sort out overtook him. She was clad in a traveler's cloak and elven styled vest and leggings. Her boots were sturdier than the ones she'd worn when they'd first met, and her hair was pulled back into a tight braid that looped over her shoulder. By the way her brows knitted together Aragorn suspected she was concerned about something.
The absence of our enemies here, perhaps? He wondered.
There was only a moment of hesitation on his part - a moment where he considered simply letting them pass and moving onward to Rivendell - before he stepped into the fading light of day and raised his hand in greeting. Glorfindel saw him first and smiled. Arwen stepped back and allowed them to greet each other, but she still echoed the customary greeting taught to her by Elrond. Elrohir and Elladan stood further away from them waiting to continue their trek, but returned his greeting all the same.
When Aragorn turned to Brianna, she was frozen in place clutching the ring he'd given her. He bowed low.
"Brianna," he said softly.
"Strider," she whispered, understanding his silent plea not to use his real name.
Aragorn wasn't entirely sure what clued her into realizing an important conversation needed to happen, but Arwen stepped forward and nodded to her brothers, "Is there a good place to make camp, Elrohir?"
The elder twin stared at her for a moment before replying, "Elladan and I can check."
Glorefindel, as if catching on, took Arwen's hand and said, "We will search as well. If I remember correctly there is a place not far from here that would serve as a decent place to sleep."
"I remember a few," Elrohir replied.
"Then let us meet here in fifteen minutes to discuss these potential resting areas," Glorfindel said.
He turned and led Arwen through the dense brush opposite of where Aragorn had hid. Elrohir and Elladan stepped past Aragorn and disappeared into the forest shadows. He looked at Brianna and took in the soft curve of her cheek and the part in her lips. She grabbed the bottom lip with her top teeth and slowly released it. When he met her eyes again he observed the expression reflected in them.
"I hadn't thought to have met you on the road. Glorfindel is taking you on a road few travel," he said.
"I was… disappointed when you hadn't," she said measuredly.
Aragorn swallowed and replied, "We have much to speak of and little time to do so."
"Maybe we shouldn't."
"If you so wish."
It didn't escape his attention that Brianna's hand remained clutched to his ring. Her eyes shimmered.
"I don't wish it, Strider, believe me," she said so softly he had to strain his ears to hear.
It shouldn't have been possible to feel both joy and sadness at once, but he did just then. He watched her hand release his ring and move to unclasp the chain. In that same moment his hand reached out and closed around her wrist.
"Don't," he whispered, "it's yours. It will always be yours."
"But -."
"It's yours," he insisted. "Always."
Her hand slipped into his. Their fingers laced together each gripping the other tightly.
"On my wrist, there's a bracelet. Take it. Keep it wherever. Never lose it," she said with a sense of urgency in her voice that surprised him.
Aragorn didn't ask about her reasoning. He reached with his free hand for hers and carefully unclasped the silver trinket.
"If you are weaponless, touch one of the charms, and you will have one. Its specific technology and magic that allows for covert storage of weapons," she explained.
"I will keep it with me," he promised.
She smiled. Aragorn leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to her brow. Brianna raised the back of his hand to her lips before releasing it and stepping away from him.
"Thank you, Strider," she said.
"And you, huntress."
With that he left her on the path. He only looked back when he was certain she couldn't see him and saw the tears stream down her cheeks. It took everything in his power not to return and keep going towards Rivendell.
I love you, he thought and then cloaked himself with the descending night.