Golden Flames Chapter 24, a divergent trilogy fanfic

"Keep it." Dec says to her back. "It's not like it'll be missed." Issy raises her eyebrows at her brother's suggestive tone. Instead she shakes her head and settles back down into the chair as Hugo says herself and Alec have been given permission to stay the night just this once.

It was the second day into Stage Two and Issy now hated fucking silence. Like the day before they followed Four to the same long room before he disappeared into one of the doors without a word. Before they were nervous as they waited to see what happened but even now that they knew what happened behind those closed doors made the silence even worst. What other fears could they face today? Could they see the same one again? Those seemed to be the main questions on everyone's faces but Issy was more pissed off that she had to face two fears at once: needles and whatever fucked up fear comes up next. Fucking perfect.

The night at Dec's flat with her brothers was like they were back at Erudite before Cara was born or even old enough to join them. It was almost peaceful. This morning their friends had questioned their whereabouts relentlessly until Alec said that they were allowed to spend the night with their brothers after a major panic attack caused by one of their fears which was more or less true on Issy's part.

Issy was smarter this morning and remembered to grab her watch. Now time seemed to move much faster but at the same time just as slow. The first to go in was Kayden and heads were raised to the door when Jason surprisingly came out and they heard shouting and glass breaking while the shut. Issy tensed up when Jason strode back to the door with several needles in his hands. The shouting was quieter when the door opened and closed for a second time. Initiates went in and out of Lauren's room before Kayden finally stumbled out.

Lynn walks out of Four's room. "Issy, you're up." Lynn doesn't wait for Issy to catch up but she leaves the door open for her. The wheels turn in her mind. Lynn doesn't teach in this stage . . . Issy is cautious and her guard is up when she walks into the room. Lynn is stood with Eric and Jason in between her and the back door. Her head cocks to the side when she focuses on the pair of needles by the computer. She raises her eyebrows at them but she realizes then that Four isn't in her sight and she tenses. The door slowly starts to shut, like its edging carefully but not on its own. Two thick arms wrap around her shoulders. 'Shit. Found Four.' His arms heave her up as Jason comes closer with a needle in hand. Unlike yesterday when she tried to get out of their hold by thrashing Issy makes herself go limp like deadweight. Surprised, Four trip into Jason and drops her as Jason drops the needle and she hisses painfully when she collides with the floor. While Issy momentarily freezes hands grab her wrists and her ankles and carry her to the chair. Once she's on it Lynn puts all her body weight onto Issy's legs and Eric grabs her wrists in one of his hands and the other cups the side of her face so she can't see the needle being prepared. Issy starts to panic, her breathing gets heavier and her darts dart around the room because she can't see the needle. 'What if they don't put fear serum in there? What if its something else? It could have came from Erudite. It could have –' Her chain of thoughts break when Eric's head hovers over hers, blocking her eyes from seeing anything else. He taps a finger under her jaw softly in Morse code. Don't worry, just breathe. It's alright Issy, I won't let them hurt you. Issy didn't really pay any attention to his tapping, she can see the words in his eyes. Issy's breathing starts to steady as she stares at his neck, his face and into his eyes. Her eyes flicker back down to his neck where a worn leather necklace peep from his top. She doesn't know why but it feels awfully familiar. She doesn't even flinch when the needle goes in and the pressure is removed from her legs.

"Be brave Golden Eyes." She hears Four say as she looses focus on Eric's eyes.

Her eyes open to darkness. Has she opened her eyes? Are they still closed? 'No, they're open.' She thinks as something lighter moves on her left before blending in with the shadows around her. She spins around as something moves again before disappearing. In the distance, or what she thinks is in the distance, two red dots appear. When they get closer Issy can see that they're not dots but they resemble red flickering flames, dancing parallel with each other. But as they come even closer Issy takes a step back. One huge black, blurry paw steps out from the darkness followed by another until a wolf stands eye to eye with her. Its eyes are red and burning hotter than any fire than Issy has seen. Its fur is darker than the darkness around them, its edges blurring and floating like smoke. It snarls at her as it begins to circle her. Issy watches with caution as it smiles a wicked grin. The snapping of jaws makes her spin around again. More wolves lurk from the shadows grinning, snarling, snapping, circling her but they make no move to take her down. Each wolf, Issy notices, is different. Be it by size, by how dark their fur is or how bright their eyes burn but the biggest, darkest, glowing eyed wolf is the one that showed itself first. She decides, for some weird reason, she'll call that one Lucifer. 'Wonderful.' Her inner voice says sarcastically.

One of the smaller wolves that circle her jumps forward. "Worthless." It snaps before it backs back into the circle.

"Weak." Says another.

"Waste of space." Issy begins to back up. She's heard all this before from that one person that ruined her life. Jeremy. They all taunt her in his voice.

"You are nothing." One whispers.

"Pathetic."

"Disappointment."

"Weak."

"You're not worthy of Dauntless."

"Worthless."

"Weak."

"You don't belong here."

"Nothing."

The wolves growl, snap and snarl more insults her way. Issy covers her ears with her hands but they chant louder, circling in closer. But what she has noted is that Lucifer doesn't join in. Her heart skyrockets higher as their eyes connect and images project from his eyes. Images of Jeremy holding needles, of Reece in his crib, of the last glance back to her crying family before she ran into the flaming house. Lucifer growls to those around him and they shut up, backing away from him and Issy and bowing their heads to him. She realises that he must be the alpha and they his pack. She stands still, unable to move as Lucifer stalks closer, her teeth clench together when he brushes against her side and she finds out that his fur is as rough as sandpaper.

"No one loves you," He says but his voice is different, its not Jeremy's and she doesn't know who's it belongs to. "Why would they?" He laughs brutally behind her, resting his great head on her shoulder. "You're nothing but an experiment. You're not brave enough to face your uncle, what good are you in Dauntless?" She cringes as she smells his foul breath, as his nose nudges against her ear. He chuckles, moving his head away from her before he turns to sit in front of her, cocking his head to the side. "It's your fault Reece died. It's such a pity, he would have grown into such a strong man. If anyone was to die that night it should have been you. No one would miss you if you were to go. Why? Because you. Are. Nothing."

"NO!" She screams and he backs up teeth bared. "Its you that is nothing! Not me, not me!" Issy tries to defend herself but her voice isn't strong enough and the wolves cackle and laugh around her, drowning out her words. She slumps to her knees, clapping her hands over her ears as they laugh louder. She starts humming to herself to ignore them until her humming turns into words and she starts to sing.

"Golden eyes, watchin' our every move,

Loosin' time, without the sun or moon,

Shadows they can't even touch the ground,

Oh oh,

The staircase is spiraling deeper down,

Oh oh,

Here we are in the heart of the darkness,

Here we are in the heart of the darkness."

Her voice is quiet amongst the wolves' laughter, like whisper in the Pit, she isn't heard.

"You feel your body shake, feel like a phantom waits,

Here we are in the heart of the darkness,

Hold fast we must be brave,

In the heart of the darkness,

The quiet it swallows us,

What's waiting around the corner,

Senses we cannot trust,

Hunted by unseen horrors,

Shadows they can't even reach us now,

There's no speck of light that can lead us out."

Lucifer growls as her voice gets stronger but her breathing isn't getting any slower. Issy needs to calm down but she can't.

"Here we are in the heart of the darkness,

Here we are in the heart of the darkness,

You feel your body shake, feel like a phantom waits,

Here we are in the heart of the darkness,

Hold fast we must be brave,

In the heart of the darkness.

I can almost see the light,

And then it's gone,

I can almost see the light,

And then it's gone,

Here we are in the heart of the darkness,

Here we are in the heart of the darkness

You feel your body shake, feel like a phantom waits,

Here we are in the heart of the darkness,

Hold fast we must be brave,

In the heart of the darkness."

Her breathing begins to steady as she finishes singing but then she makes the stupid decision to look Lucifer in the eye. The images resurface as do the taunts, the insults and the snide comments. Anyone would think she's submitting by the position she's in. Her knees are folded beneath her, her arms are wrapped around her waists and her head is lowered but her eyes are still on the big bad wolf. He rears back on his hind legs, teeth bared as he lurches towards her. Defeated, she lowers her head even more, accepting her fate.

Issy jumps up in the chair as her eyes dart around the room looking for wolves. She relaxes in the chair under the bright light of the sim room with her hands rubbing her face as she tries to breathe. Slowly she removes her hands to look at Eric sat in front of the computer. She notices that it was just the two of them in the room.

"How'd I do?" Even though she whispered it, her voice sounds loud in the room.

Eric stares at the screen for a moment longer before he looks at her. "Better than yesterday." He sighs. "Twenty seven minutes exactly." He types at the keyboard as Issy watches him, unsure if she's dismissed or not. The cord of leather around his neck catches her attention again until she looks away when Eric swivels his chair to face her. "Issy you can't just give up like that, you need to fight back." His voice is soft as his eyes hold hers. "When you started to talk back to the wolf –"

"Lucifer." Issy interrupts him and a smile plays on his face.

"Lucifer?"

"Yeah, I decided to call it – him Lucifer 'cause he was the biggest, darkest and his eyes burned the brightest. So yeah," She shrugs her shoulders with a small smirk. "Lucifer."

Eric laughs a bit and shakes his head. "Okay. So when you stated talking back to Lucifer the sim started to slowly shut down but because you didn't believe your own words it didn't. Fight back, shout back just don't give up, okay?"

"Okay." She stands up as Eric does and walks towards the door with him behind her. When she grabs the handle he speaks up again.

"Why wolves? I thought you liked them?"

Issy thinks for a minute, thinking how to put her thoughts into words. "I think its what they represent to me." She turns back to face him. "I think of wolves as protectors, warriors and an animal that depends on the pack greatly. I used to argue with Alec and Hugo that a family can be classed as a pack, like wolves so in that way the wolves in my fear sim my family thinking exactly what the wolves said –" She cuts herself off suddenly as she loses focus and her thoughts ran wild. Fingers clicked in front of her eyes, bringing her back. She puts on a bright smile as Eric stares down at her with a suspicious expression.

"Are you okay?"

"Mhmm." She says as she opens the door. Issy spins around again, her smile more her now. "And correction, borderline obsessed if you're talking to Dec." She grins at him as she walks out, smiling reassuringly to those that are still waiting and squeezes her brother's hand as Eric calls his name.

The dorms are silent as she enters them. Kayden is sat on his bed with surprisingly both Hec and Flare on the beds next to him. Issy holds up one finger to motion that she needs time to herself and they go back to quietly talk to each other as she pulls herself into her bunk. She's always classed close friends as family. She's said before that family is more than blood. And she thinks that she sorta classes Eric as family? She doesn't know what to think but one thing she realised in the sim room was that she realised who Lucifer's voice belongs to. Eric. Its a warped version of Eric's voice and slightly deeper. Her fear is being practically nothing to her family and friends and especially to Eric. Fuck. She rolls onto her side so she's facing the wall, cursing her mind.