Honestly, I don't know what the fuck happened to this fear when I wrote it. It's currently 3am and I can't sleep cause there's a fucking spider somewhere in my room and I'm just too alert right now so you know, let's write a creepy assed fear to ignore the creepy assed spider.

I think this chapter will answer some questions to those who read GF Outtakes (especially Eric's POV).

Around ten o'clock, the four of the tiptoed into the dorms, laughing quietly to each other as Alec tripped over a bar. Issy's head hit her pillow with a smile on her face.

Issy was pissed off with Four. And Eric but mostly Four. That utter fuckface had shot her with these new Nero Stimdarts they had gotten from the weapons lab so that she couldn't move as soon as she walked through the door. Bastard. Eric had merely smirked his arse off. Her mouth still worked so that didn't stop her from cursing them both to the fiery depths of hell. To repeat, she was pissed.

Ten minutes after Four and Eric had carried her to the chair she still couldn't move her arms, legs or even move her hips. Issy couldn't even move her neck from side to side but how her head had been positioned Four was in her direct line of sight, she didn't quite know where Eric was but she knew he was in the room. In those ten minutes she didn't stop glaring at him with every ounce of anger she had. It brought a smirk to her face when Issy saw him fidget. Issy was the first initiate to go under today so Four had to fiddle about with the computer before they could start. She still didn't stop glaring at him even when Four started to glare back, if fact when he did that she started to grin. They glared at each other for another five minutes before he broke eye contact and rolled his eyes. Issy chuckled, pleased with her victory.

"Keep rolling your eyes, you might actually find a brain back there." From somewhere behind her Eric choked out a laugh. Again Four rolled his eyes and began to explain the basics she'd been told the first two times. She didn't even know she had zoned out until Four clicked his fingers in front of her face. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't get that. I don't speak idiot." Once again muffled laughter came from somewhere behind her. She wanted to know from where but when she tried to move she still couldn't.

Four's jaw clenched repeatedly and Issy took great pleasure in the fact that she was pissing him off. "Oh fuck it!" He grabbed the needle and began to fill it up.

Issy gasped mockingly. "Number boy swore!" And the last thing she hears is Eric bursting into laughter and a slight pinch in her neck.

Issy opens her eyes to a white ceiling, layed against something cool. In a way she feels calmed by the coolness against her back but it feels fake, the calmness feels forced, unreal, stiff. Stiff and cool like metal, she realises and then Issy feels the bindings on her wrists and ankles. Panic floods her mind as she tries to sit up. She is unable to sit up more than a few inches but then Issy can see the rest of the room. Her face pales with fright and she pulls at her bindings. Like the ceiling, the walls and the floor white. That kind of white that looked too clean, too sterile. There's no light other than one adjustable lights you'd normally see in a surgery room and there's only one door. Stainless steel and sturdy like the wheelie tables surrounding her and the table against her back. The door feels so close but still so far away. The tables are littered with partly empty needles. Some of the substances in the needles slosh about as it rolls across the table. Issy pulls at her bindings harder until her skin burns. It hurts. The rope bites at her skin red raw and a tear runs down her face as she whimpers, slumping on to the cool metal.

Thumping from the other side of the door makes her heart race. Numerous voices merge together. She hears her name hissed like a curse. The door opens a tad and her ears pick up parts of the sentence.

"Serums...0683 and 0122...Ranges in strength...Should have...Results..."

The door opens wider. At first she only sees a trolley being wheeled through. Her eyes lock on the ten needles neatly aligned in the middle. Her eyes widen when she sees the face of the one pushing the trolley. Issy fights at the bindings with a greater need as she chokes on her tears. She needs to get out. To find help. To run. She bites back a cry when the ropes rub against her skin. Warmth runs down her arms. Small rivers of blood rush from her wrists and the person chuckles as they get closer.

"That's not going to work, darling niece." Jeremy drawls with a wicked grin as he comes to a stop behind her, out of her line of sight. Issy inches up, craning her neck to see him, to watch him when her bindings are pulled tighter and she cries out loud as she is pulled against the metal. Tears blur her vision as she struggles to even arch her back off of the table. Jeremy comes back around and his fingers dance over the needles, each one a different colour and the substance a different density. His hand stops over one on the end. Its red liquid sloshes around as he picks it up.

"No..." Issy mumbles, shaking her head and tugging at the ropes, trying to get some leeway. "Nonono! Please! No!" Tears rush down her face as he stalks closer.

"This wouldn't've happened if you got Reece out faster." He pauses with the needle raised high. "Well," He laughs. "At least not to you."

Issy breathes heavier, straining to get closer. To hurt him like he's hurt her family. Her glow gold with hatred as she snarls at him. "Touch my family again and you're dead. Touch them again and it'll be your head that rolls!"

He steps back, laughing with malicious glee. "There's the Dauntless spirit you're known for." He sneers. Before Issy can register his words, he surges forward, grabbing onto her neck roughly and stabs the needle in her neck. Issy gasps, all colour drains from her eyes until she's left with a sickly pale blue. She claws at the rope. The substance feels hot as it runs through her veins. Her body seizes still for a minute, for two. When it reaches the fifth minute, her body regains movement. Her ribs heave with every breath she takes as she chokes until red runs from her nose. She slumps back onto the metal, her eyelids heavily drooping as Jeremy notes something down before retrieving the next needle. This time it was thick and orange. Issy feels the bile raise in her throat as she once again struggles against the rope albeit not with as much force as before. "And anyway it has to be you now." His hands are harsh against her skin as the second needle goes in. This time it freezes her nerves and her blood. Issy's limbs slowly stop listening to her as she wills them to move, to fight it off but she can't. Her movements are sluggish as her head rolls. "Reece was the perfect subject." Jeremy drones on, unaware of her inner battle. "But unfortunately the smoke damaged his cells. I was so lucky that you happened to be there at the same time, so lucky. For some reason the serums that were grounded up and put in dear Ella's food when she was pregnant with you and Alec affected you more, even if it was only by a small amount." His hand froze over the needles as he turned back to her. "Whether it was down to your gender or that you took more of it, I don't know." He picks up another needle at random. "If you don't survive this then your brother, dear Alec, will take your place. This is for your own good and the good of the faction." Inside Issy is screaming, cursing Jeremy's very being. He will not touch her brother. Nothing comes out but a shaky exhale. Those last two serums took away her spirit. She doesn't fight him when he grabs her neck. A lone tear runs down her face as her eyelids flutter close.

When her senses came back to her Issy immediately bends over the side of the chair and threw up her breakfast onto the floor. A hand grabs her hair and pulls it out of the way and another rubs her back gently as the door quickly slams open and closed. Soothing sounds reach her ear as she continues to throw it all up. The hand from her back moves away and joins the other hand in her hair. They gather up all of her hair and gently ties it into a bun before returning to her back. Issy's body shakes as she stops and she leans back into something warm and firm. Thick arms wrap around her body, drawing her closer. She leans her head back onto a shoulder, breathing heavily as the maze tattooed arms hold her. They sit like that for a minute before Eric places her back against the chair again and hands her a box of tissues. Issy takes it with a quiet 'Thank you'. She wipes her mouth and chin just as Four comes in with a mop and two buckets, one full of water and one empty. She peeps over the side of the chair as Four begins to clean it up and cringes.

"Sorry 'bout that..." She swallows the bile that had risen in her throat and she looked away, cringing again.

Four laughs a little, smiling at her. "It's alright, you're definitely not the first nor will you be the last."

"Still. It's gotta be gross." Her nose crinkles up and she laughs a little bit. Four playfully lifts the bucket towards her and she gags, shifting towards Eric. "Do that again and I will aim for your boots." They laugh as Four takes the bucket out the back way. When he comes back he sits in the wheelie chair in front of the computer with a serious face.

"Okay, so your timing was between your first and second try at twenty nine minutes and thirty seven seconds. You need to think of what could possibly get you through this faster, like Eric said about yesterdays sim, find away to fight back." Four glances to Eric. "Are you taking her to the infirmary?"

Issy raises her hands to stop them from talking. "Whoa! No, I'm okay. I don't need to go to the infirmary."

"Issy you just –"

"No, I'm fine." She cuts Four off again. Both Four and Eric raise their eyebrows at her simultaneously that in a different situation it would've been funny. Ignoring them both, she gets up anyway and makes it three steps before she begins to sway. "Oh shit." Half a second later, her legs give in. Eric catches her before she hits the ground, grumbling in her ear.

"You're as stubborn as your brothers." He picks her up with ease and carries her out of the back way. Issy huffs in his arms, shuffling around until she can rest her cheek on his shoulder. "What is it with you and not wanting to accept help?" With being this close to him, she doesn't know if he's talking to himself or he wants her to answer. Although by the way he's glaring down at her she'll guess she has to answer.

"I don't –" Suddenly her back is against the wall and Eric is leaning over her with his hands gripping her thighs. Issy places a hand on his jacket to steady herself.

"If you say you don't want to appear weak, Issy I swear –" He shakes his head in anger and looks down the hallway, his breathing coming out in short, heavy bursts. She grips his jacket, willing him to understand. His breathing starts to steady as he closes his eyes and leans his forehead against hers. "You're not weak." He mumbles.

"I know I just –"

"Don't believe it yourself." He sighs and he opens his eyes as she closes hers. Eric leans back again and he carries her to the infirmary without another word.

xXx

After Eric had taken her to the infirmary he had left to re-join Four in the sim room. Marlene had checked her temperature and given her a glass of water before shooing her away. Now Issy was on her way to the dorms to pick up her sketch book and head to her alcove for a while before dinner. Her fingers trail along the cavernous wall as she hums a random tune.

When she enters the dorms she finds it free of anyone. Smiling lightly she heads to her bunk to where she last placed her pad. Like usual, Issy didn't sleep that night so she sat and drew until it was time to get up. As she searches for it Issy remembers that she's only got a few pages left and once its full she'll have to go through it and star the designs Bud can place in her folder. Honestly she's still surprised when she sees someone with a tattoo she remembers designing. She finds it under her quilt but her hand freezes over a bracelet Issy is sure she left in Erudite. Gently she picks it up and Issy sits down on Alec's bed in shock. 'How the fuck did it get here?' She thinks as she rubs the plaque with her finger.

She was nine, almost ten, if Issy remembers correctly. Declan would have been two maybe three years away from transferring. There was a project that someone had created where Erudite dependents could be a part of, if they wanted to. It was an idea taken from before the war, from something called Pen Pals. It was normal for someone her age or even a year or two younger to know how to write and use a computer properly by this age and so Issy had researched into it. She had found that two people would write letters to each other and Issy was intrigued almost instantly. She had asked her parents and with their permission she signed herself up.

When their partners were chosen, they were told that they had to remain anonymous to each other until the project was finished. On day one they had to send each other a letter – typed up of course, to remain anonymous – with a little bit about themselves, what they liked, what they disliked but nothing too obvious on who they are like their age or any distinct features they may have. Through this letter she found out that her partner is male. He has blond hair and blueish eyes. He loves to read but can't pick a favourite. He likes to observe people when no one is watching and he's an only child. He doesn't like being told what to do or how to do it and he doesn't like the colour yellow. Sometimes he feels useless and he wants to do something meaningful with his life.

Over a month and a half, they communicated through the letters and she found him to be funny and kind and that he wanted to transfer to Dauntless when it was time. They got to really know each other and Issy realised that she never allowed anyone this close to her other than her family. When the usually long letters began to get shorter and he finally told her that he was having a rough time at home she was annoyed that they couldn't meet up. Instead she raided her mum's craft box, with permission, and made him a necklace from leather rope with a small cord bottle at the end and a brass flame charm. To go in the bottle she wrote out one of his favourite poems that he shared with her that she loved instantly:

The people who consider you weak have

not yet noticed the wolf hiding behind your eyes,

nor the flames inside your soul.

Let them think you are weak

and do what wolves and fire do best.

Surprise them when they least expect it.

She rolled it up and put it in the next letter she sent and a day later she gets a reply he thanks her for it and that he'll wear it always.

Half a month later the project ends and they can choose whether or not to carry on the letters but this time they can reveal their identities. For the fun of it, they carry on sending letters but keep it anonymous. And so, they converse nearly every day if they can for the next eleven and a half months.

That is until Reese's death and her abduction. After Issy had returned to her family in their new home, she noticed the stack of unopened letters on her new desk. She read them by date and was touched at how worried he sounded after she hadn't replied to the second one he sent. Was it something he had said? He had asked in many of them, along with Please reply, I miss our conversations. Her heart almost broke and had got onto replying quickly. She had mentioned a family member had died and she was very ill for the last month. Within hours she got a reply. He was worried, he wrote and he was glad she feels better that she can reply now. While she got used to her new home it was him and his letters that kept her grounded, it was him that kept her from losing it. Some time after that she got a letter, slightly heavier than normal and when she opened it to find a tan leather bracelet that can be adjusted and in the middle is a small iron engraved plaque. She grins when she realises it connects with the poem she chose for his necklace:

You are never alone.

We are all wolves howling to the same moon.

On each side of the plaque sits a red bead that resembles solid fire in certain light. She loved it from the moment she slipped it onto her wrist. Issy sent her reply as fast as she could, returning her thanks, stating that she'll never take it off. And she didn't. She hid it under her sleeves when she went to school and activities in the main building of Erudite. The only time she actually took it off was when she had a shower. Even when she fell asleep for the few hours she could manage it was still on her wrist and often she'd wake up with indents of the bracelet in her face.

Through that time, they didn't stop talking, not even when exams came around did they stop. It was only when it was Declan's time to take his aptitude test did their letters start to be sent slower than before. He had mentioned that his Choosing Ceremony was coming up and he knew that he was going to Dauntless. He said in one letter that he'd miss their conversations but he's kept every one since it started. Issy had blushed when she read that and couldn't stop smiling. In her last letter to him two nights before the Choosing Ceremony she had written, not typed, that it was her eldest brother's Choosing Ceremony as well and she'd be watching, no matter what before wishing him luck in his new life.

Like she said, she had watched as she fiddled with her bracelet. Issy had paid close attention to all of the boys from Erudite as they walked up and chose their faction for the rest of their lives but none of them appeared to even look properly into the sea of blue as they join their new factions, maybe he just didn't want to. Either way, she could accept that. She glanced at Dauntless to see four boys from Erudite including her brother sitting amongst black and a small assortment of colours. Just like she was told, Dauntless started to leave first and her hope sparked when two Erudite boys glanced back to the blue crowd but that hope died when she notice they both had blond hair and she couldn't see either of their eye colour.

When her family had gotten home they all went to bed, ignoring the door that used to be Dec's and feeling empty without the oldest child. Issy felt close to tears, not only had she lost her older brother but she had also lost her best friend, and, as she thought about it, her first proper crush to the same faction. With the small bit of hope she had left over from that day she hoped that somehow they'd become friends. It was that night she decided that, no matter what, she become Dauntless and her blood will hit those coals when its her time, not because of her brother and not even because of him (maybe a little bit now she thinks about it)but because she will become a predator, a protector, a wolf that howls to the same moon as he does.

Her mind comes back to the present and she slips the bracelet on her wrist and secures it into place just as the door opens and Bree skips in.

"There you are!" She huffs as she walks closer. "We've been looking all over for you and – Issy?" Bree stops in front of her and sits on the bed opposite her. "Issy why are you crying? Is everything okay? Was it your fear today?" Issy wipes her face with her sleeves. She'd been so zoned into her memory she didn't even realise she had started to cry.

"No, it wasn't my fear. I, um," Issy looks back down to her bracelet and Bree follows her gaze.

"Where'd you get that! It must have been expensive!" Her eyes are wide as she studies the bracelet.

Issy smiles down at it as more tears fall. She summarizes her memory for Bree, leaving out the part about Reese as she did all those years ago for him. Issy promises herself she'll tell Bree about her baby brother one day, just not yet. Bree's eyes get wider and wider as she goes on. When Issy finishes she gives Bree a few minutes to digest things.

"So the man who made and gave you that through a letter when you were ten is possibly still in Dauntless and you might have walked past him at one point despite not knowing who he is?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"So why don't you ask Dec if he noticed anything? You mentioned that Dec helped you make the necklace so why don't you ask him if he saw it?" Bree doesn't give her time to answer before she asks another question but this time her voice is softer. "Are you scared that he might not be the same person he was then?"

"...Yes. No. I don't know, maybe?" Issy bites her lip as she gazes at the frame of her bunk, trying not to look at Bree or the bracelet.

Bree grabs her hand and Issy looks to her from underneath her fringe. "Its okay Iss, we'll talk about this later. But now you missed lunch as some of the others are gathering in the Pit for a drink. Hey, did Dec mention that now Stage Two has started we can have one alcoholic drink a day?" Bree asks as she pulls her friend up from the bunk before fiddling with the bracelet to make sure its not hidden. "What? You don't hide something like that. Now come on."

"Wait! Let me shower quickly first, I threw up after my sim and I haven't washed."

"Eww!" Bree pushes Issy to the showers and she laughs, pulling off her bracelet and handing it to Bree.

Ten minutes later Issy comes out in a pair of dark grey jeans and a black tank top. Her hair was still partly damp so she threw it up into a messy bun. She grabbed her combat boots and pulled them on and pulled on the jacket that Dec had given her. Bree eyed the jacket over the top of Issy's sketch pad.

"Where'd you get that?"

Issy slips on the bracelet. "From Dec after my first fear sim."

"Huh." Bree puts her sketch pad back as Issy looks confused.

"What is it?"

"Nothing it just suits you. Like, really well."

Together they leave the dorms and heads towards the Pit. Bree said that all of her brothers are there as well as Cody and Noah with Zeke, Shauna, Lynn, Tris, Four, Eric and Blake but Blake had left early on for the night shift and Tris and Four had called it a night when Bree left to find her. They head to the usual table towards the back and as they get closer Zeke notices them and starts waving around like a goon, much like how Uriah first did all those weeks ago. When Issy sits down between Cody and Bree her brothers eye the jacket and smirk at her. Dec and Eric share a smug look and Eric settles back into the chair in front of her. She raises a confused eyebrow as Hugo passes her a glass of whiskey and Issy smirks, taking a glance at Alec before taking a sip.

"I thought that was for you?" Zeke glances between Hugo and herself.

"Nah, I don't tend to drink whiskey but this one does, she's not a lightweight." Hugo and Issy grin at each other, obviously thinking about the same thing.

"If anyone's a lightweight, its Alec over here." She grins when Alec tells her to fuck off. "Lock your office doors just in case." She laughs with everyone else when Alec kicks her shins. She glance back at her brothers and Dec catches her gaze. Pointedly he stares at her wrist for a moment before his smirk widens. She mouths 'Fuck off' to him and he grins.

"Okay so, lets play a game of truths. To honor our initiates, I think they should go first." Zeke grins at each of them. "You can either answer or take a sip of you drink seeing as you're all only allowed one." Zeke glances at Eric with hopeful eyes.

"Get on with it Zeke."

Zeke playfully pouts at him and Eric rolls his eyes. "Issy, fancy a challenge?"

She smirks. "Come at me."

"I knew there was a reason I liked you!" Shauna claps.

The members cast wary glances at him as a mischievous grin slides onto Zeke's face. "Riskiest place you've fucked?" Out of the corner of her eye, she sees both Hugo and Eric tense up and she decides she'll enjoy this.

"What makes you think she's –"

Issy cuts Hugo off. "The Library." Dec cheers, leaning over Eric to clink his glass with hers as Hugo spits out his drink. Dec and Issy laugh, winking at Hugo.

Hugo puts one hand up carefully. "Do you mean a private library or Erudite's public library."

"Duude, there's only one Fuck Table." She grins over the rim of her glass as Dec applauds her and she takes another sip.

"What's a fuck table?" Lynn asks confused.

"Its not a Fuck Table," Declan smirks. "It's the Fuck Table."

"Basically it's a table right at the back of Erudite's main library. You place a piece of paper on it, it squeaks. You place a book on it, it squeaks louder. You sit down and write an essay and it literally sounds like you're fucking." She pauses for a moment, playing with her piercing and her sly grin widens. "It's also not very comfortable." Most of the table bursts into laughter. Hugo is too busy choking on his drink again and Issy's eyes meet Eric's dark ones. She grins suggestively and winks at him. His hand tightens on his bottle as his eyes go shades darker.

They spend the night getting to know the others better but end up mostly laughing as herself, Zeke and Dec pull out the most embarrassing stories from each other. When it came back round to Zeke's turn she knew it was her go straight after and she knew exactly who to ask and exactly what to ask. Cautious glances was being shared between her brothers when Issy started to grin. Her grin turned into a smirk when none of her brothers looked her in the eye. She got confused glances from the rest of the group but Issy just silently laughed into her glass.

"Your turn Issy." Zeke says.

Issy slowly looks over to her brothers. Alec shuffled in his seat, Hugo glanced away from her gaze and Declan slid a hand into his hair, directly over his face, practically hiding. "Declan," She drawls, smiling when Alec and Hugo slumped back in relief and Dec began to fidget. "Tell them what happened in room twenty three B, floor six."

"Issy –" Dec looked down to his glass, groaning when he noticed it was empty. He glanced to the bar but Eric and Lynn would have to move before he could get up, and none of which seemed to be getting up.

"Go on Declan," Issy narrowed her eyes at him as gold blazed through blue, challenging him. "Do tell."

He huffed and sighed. Issy could see he was trying to find a way he could get to the bar. She pinpointed exactly when he gave up when he frowned and slouched forward, glaring at her. "I hate you."

"No you don't." She grinned victoriously.

"So what did happen in that room?" Alec questioned as he slid his bottle from hand to hand, glancing up. "Issy never told me."

"I never told anyone." She said over the rim of her glass. "Declan, feel like chipping in?"

He sighed. "It was a few months before my Choosing Ceremony and there was this girl –"

"There's always a girl." Shauna sighed with her head on her arms. Declan shot her a 'Shut up' look.

"There was this girl I wanted to impress and well she was so intrigued with studying Psychology and I thought I could impress her 'cause mum works in that depo and I thought I knew some stuff. And I took her up to that room and she got so impressed that she literally jumped on me." The table laughed at Dec's surprised expression and Issy motioned for him to continue. "We probably at it for a while and after a moment she goes "Are you even trying?" and that's it really…" Zeke chokes on his drink before he starts laughing so hard he falls off of the chair. The rest join in, laughing at Dec's lack of effort and Zeke's misfortune. Once people calmed and wiped tears from their eyes Alec turned to his sister.

"How did you find this out?"

Issy cringes slightly, laughing as Dec blushes. "I was in the room, typing towards the back and when they started they were blocking the door." Bree pats her arm reassuringly, laughing along with the others.