Personally I found this chapter sorta gooey and cute (which isn't meant to happen for a while yet but sod it, its too adorable to delete and rewrite). But we finally get to the Fear Landscape! Hope you enjoy it! This is also the longest chapter I've done for this story, I'm so happy for myself :D
"You know what, if we pass I'll owe everyone in our initiation a dance. How's that?"
He shrugs with a lop-sided grin. "I'll take it."
The past three days their rankings have been hidden from them. Last time Issy looked she was fifth and Alec was still first but now know one knew if they had gotten better, worse or stayed where they were. Over the past three days their training has got more intense. The first day of the three they had been introduced to the Fear Landscape and had been picked one by one to join either Lauren or Lynn into one of their sims. Issy was chosen by Lauren and went through her sim of getting run over by a train. Issy wasn't that bad when they came at her with a needle . . . at least, that's what she'd like to say. Four had came up from behind her with his trusted dart gun and shot her down, drawing laughs from all her friends as she glared up at Four, unable to move. Once in the actual sim, she found it somewhat simple really, once she knew she couldn't undo the ropes Issy just sat there waiting. Maybe its because it wasn't her fear or that she knew it wasn't real.
The second and third day, the initiates went through their fear sims at least three times a day. Surprisingly Alec had accepted Kayden as his brother and in turn, Issy did too and the three of them had gotten closer. Kayden and Issy shared a knowing grin every time they came out of the room and Four acquired a new bruise. When it came to their last go of the day many of the initiates were either close to vomiting, fainting or already had.
Today after dinner, Issy recalls as she stares into the abyss of the Chasm, the rankings were being posted and tomorrow was their fear landscape, the day that decides whether they stay in Dauntless or become factionless. Without even needing to look at her watch Issy knows that someone will be waking the other initiates in two hours and no doubtfully they will go through their sims one final time before their rankings go up. Issy leans her forearms against the railing, watching the water crash against rock at the bottom. She's so close, so close to becoming a member and now that she thinks about it, it almost feels unreal. Not too long ago her main focus was to survive initiation and nothing else. Now people were asking her if she knows what she'll choose for her career. She hasn't had enough time to even register what she was interested in doing let alone the choices that were available. Confused, she closes her eyes and breathes deeply. There's been murmurings of what others want to do, Bree wants to work with children, Alec wants to work with Hugo in the weapons lab, Kayden surprisingly wants to work on the fence. Lilah has mentioned to the others that she wants to work in Leadership although she didn't say the reason why like she did with Issy but matter not, her eyes and her voice spoke in volumes of just how much she wanted it. Issy remember seeing Alec and Hector – who was, the last time anyone knew, in second place – exchange a glance as Lilah trailed off. 'But no matter what they're doing, what do I want to do?" She chanted that same question in her head over and over. What do I want to do? That thought alone exhausted her mind and she shook her head, pushing the thoughts away. 'There's more important things to be thinking of!' Issy chided herself and shook her head again.
"You're doing an awful lot of shaking your head over here." A voice whispered from her left and Issy tensed. She hadn't even registered the sudden warmth to her left, never mind the blur of black that she can see as clear as glass in the corner of her eye even if she's looking straight ahead. Issy mentally scolds herself again, normally she's more perceive about her surroundings.
"It's one of the many joys of overthinking." Issy snaps, still looking straight ahead and she gets a raised eyebrow in return. She sighs, frustrated with herself. 'I need more sleep.' She thinks as she rubs her eyes. "I'm sorry for snapping. It's just," She shoves her hands into her hair gripping tightly.
Max chuckles, placing a hand on her back reassuringly just like her father would do. "I know the feeling. We all do here." He also looks down to the water. "But you'll make it, you and Alec and Lilah, you'll all make it."
"It's not just that though now. What do I do after? What job do I take?"
He smiles, rubbing circles into her back. "Did you know I'm Dec's Godfather?" Surprised, Issy shakes her head no. "I am. But even without being legally tied to the rest of you, I think of you all as my nieces and nephews. Your mother and father were my siblings in my heart, mind and soul. You were right to tell Bree that blood doesn't define family, we do and that is what I have done. Three of my family live in Erudite and now two more of my family is going to be joining Dauntless very soon."
"You're better than my blood uncle any day." Issy chokes out a watery laugh as does Max.
"As your uncle in everything but blood, I will tell you to follow your heart, choose what you feel is right for you. When the time for job choosing comes around it'll Leader Max you'll converse with but remember, its you who has to live with that job."
"We do not believe in living comfortable lives uncle." Max's laugh is hearty and full of pride.
"That we do not niece, that we do not."
xXx
Laughs were fake and hollow at breakfast and everyone knew it. In just over twenty four hours they'll be preparing themselves for their final test. But at least people, mainly Charlie, Hec and Cody, tried to keep everyone's spirits up. Issy tried to pay attention to whatever they were saying as she pushed food around her plate, she hadn't even touched the coffee that Hugo had brought for her. The trio's attempts spluttered into nothing like a dying candle and the table fell into silence but, thankfully, it wasn't uncomfortable.
Four called out to them and like robots their movements were stiff and mechanical as they got up and followed one after the other behind Four through the same hallways until they came to a room that Issy was sure most of them hated. Lauren was leaning against her door, picking at her nails while noise came from Four's. They went through their usual chitchat: remember to breath in, calm your heart rate and find a way out. As if they didn't know that already. Four didn't even allow them to sit down and prepare themselves before he called the first names.
"Hector you're with Lauren and Issy you're with me." 'Oh goodie.' She thought sarcastically before shaking her head and wishing she could sleep like a normal fucker. She sighed as she followed Four into his little room. Eric sat in front of the computer with five needles already filled on the side. Four moved around her to where his dart gun was placed as she stopped just before the chair. Eric and Four watched as Issy lightly groaned, rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hands quite forcibly. Her hands came away to reveal red rimmed eyes and she staggered into the chair. Four looked at Eric who payed more attention to Issy than to Four. "You look like shit." Four noted and was even more surprised when Issy said nothing back, normally she'd love an excuse to pick at him. "Now I know something definitely wrong."
"Things are just peachy." She snapped at him and felt guilty afterwards. Fuck, she needed to sleep. Issy sighed into her hands unaware as Eric picked up one of the needles and quietly made his way over. At the last minute Issy glanced up and was surprised how close he was. She yelped, jumping away from the needle that was very close to her face. With another yelp, she fell off of the chair and crashed to the floor. Four leant over her as Issy groaned and curled into herself.
"Are actually getting any sleep?" Four's tone was concerned as he pulled her to sit up before shooting her in her arms, legs and neck.
"A few hours tops." Issy grumbled as Eric inserted the needle in when they had picked her from the floor and placed her in the chair.
He instructors shared a sigh. One of them said something to her but the words blurred together as the simulation went into effect.
Issy's head whirled as she came to and proceeded to throw what little she had of her breakfast and whatever food she had yesterday down the side of the chair. Her throat burned as she threw up whatever she could until she shook worst than a leaf. Faintly a door slammed close as tears ran from the corners of her eyes when she slumped into the chair. Todays sim was definitely one of the worst. She loathed needles. Hated them with a burning passion, she hated throwing up too. If – when she passes she's gonna set up a petition for the fear serum to be drinkable instead.
"C'mon," Eric's voice called, his hands gently grabbing her arms. "Let's get you to the infirmary." He pulled her to her feet and her vision blurred together. Issy gripped onto his arm as a wave of dizziness crashed through her, making her sway and bile rise in her throat. Eric steadied her, pulling her into him and Issy gladly leaned against him with her forehead in the crook of his neck. Still she shook while she breathed deeply until her vision cleared. Eric seemed to know this and he started to guide her to the back door but she stumbled on her feet. Eyebrows furrowing in worry, Eric crouched down hooking an arm under her knees and the other firm against her back. Issy's head rolled into his shoulder as he lifted her up. Striding out of the back door Eric makes his way to the infirmary with Issy half conscious in his arms. Immediately, they are spotted by Marlene and she points to a private room, following quickly behind them, alarmed by the clear fear in Eric's features when Issy doesn't respond to his callings. Issy remembers feeling the softness of the bed before she lost consciousness.
xXx
Mentally, her head feels heavy. Physically, she's aware of someone lightly shaking her shoulders, ridding the sleepy haze from her head as a broken voice interrupts her thoughts.
"–y? Issy? Come on babe please?" Her eyes flutter open to find Eric perched at her side. Her eyes narrow slightly, focusing on how ruffled his hair looks, like he hasn't stopped pulling at it. His clothes are disheveled and the man that sits beside her is not the Eric she's used to. He's not the strong, smart leader that has a look of indifference on his face with clothes sharper than the blades she's worked with. He's crumpled and slouching and honestly looking worried. Issy's mind totally skips over the word 'babe' thinking whatever shit they put her on is making her somewhat delusional and fueling her imagination like a wildfire in a forest. He leans forward, placing his elbows on the side of the bed. "Hey." He whispers but it sounds loud in the room.
"Hi." Her own voice sounds rough and Eric hands her a glass of water which she greedily gulps down. "What happened?" This time her voice is stronger, more herself and she gives him the glass back to put down.
Eric looks down to his lap. His features scrunch up as his lips move, forming words with no sound and then he looks up at her, eyes piercing into hers. "Apparently the serums that he forced into you as a child messed up some shit." Eric ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up. "Marlene ran some quick tests and somethings been pushed into overdrive which means if you take a serum that fucks with your senses and plays with your brain repeatedly for a few months your body learns to fight against it until you are no longer affected by the serum. But if you do take the serum after your body has become immune to it you'll be forced to react like you're allergic to it which is just what sorta happened in a way. " Issy pinches her lips together and Eric elaborates. "Basically your body has begun to become immune to it so you had an allergic reaction to it."
"Is it just with serums or vaccinations too?"
Eric sighs. "Honestly I didn't pay much attention to what Marlene said after she confirmed you'd be fine.
A wry smile plays at her lips as a light blush covers her cheeks. "So how long have I been here for?"
"Not long. It's around half one now so we've only been here for three and a half hours." Issy focuses on one word throughout that whole sentence. We've not you've, we've. He's been with her for the whole time. While Issy tries to wrap her head around what reason he has to stay Eric watches her smiling warmly. He watches her eyes lose focus as she succumbs into a deep thought and how she rolls her bottom lip between her teeth. Slowly he reaches forward, cupping her cheek gently and pulling her lip from her teeth with his thumb. Shocked and a little bit surprised Issy gazes at him until his tablet beeps, demanding attention. His face crumples as he leans down, picking it up and placing it on his lap. After a moment of staring at the screen he huffs out a breath in annoyance before typing quickly. When he looks back up Issy can see Leader Eric in his eyes, the very same I-will-beat-you-in-my-sleep-if-you-don't-shut-up look mixed in with do-you-honestly-think-I-give-a-shit? look he wears on a daily basis to everyone but a few exceptions. That look almost has Issy giggling. "Max is demanding a meeting in ten minutes. I've sent an email to Dec to come and sign you out." His hands cover his face as his muscles tense. Later, Issy will blame whatever (good) shit they put her on that makes her act instead of thinking first because she reaches out and brushes the hair away from Eric's face and back up. Her lips twitch up when he begins to relax and lean into her hand. Her fingers rake through his hair – which Issy is amused to find it soft rather than sticky due to the hair gel he most likely uses – and against his scalp until it looks sort of like his usual style. A rumble of protest comes from deep within his chest when she withdraws her hand. Eric reluctantly stands up and straightens his jacket out until he looks like the fearless, ruthless leader ninety nine percent of Dauntless know him to be. His dark eyes hold hers as he takes a small step forward until his legs bump into the side of the bed and raises a hand to the top of her head, stroking down along her jaw until he holds her chin, his thumb drawing circles. "Rest up. You have a few hours until the rankings are posted and then try to sleep as much as you can, the final test is tomorrow and I want you in a clear, steady mind set." He taps the underside of her chin with his finger. "Chin up Issy, it'll all be over soon." With one last smile Eric leaves the room.
xXx
It wasn't long before she was joined by Declan, Alec and Bree and Marlene signed her out of the infirmary after a final check over. Apparently a Dauntless member had to be present to sign her out, that's why Alec and Bree didn't come earlier. Was it selfish to say Issy was glad that they didn't come sooner? Issy liked it when it was just her and Eric. She felt like she could be herself around him with hiding certain sides. She didn't have to hide the things she's loved from her upbringing in Erudite. The way she still loves to read. How she likes to look at riddles and puzzles and things that makes her think in the way that's expected of an Erudite. How sometimes she likes to break machinery apart, see how it works, what makes it ticks and then put it back together again. How sometimes she prefers quiet over the roar of her faction. She finds herself smiling secretly because of these moments but apparently not so secretly due to the knowing and suspicious look she got from Bree.
The other initiates were told that Issy was just wondering about the compound to reflect on her sim. They didn't question it, they know she likes to wander, it helps her think. Now it was dinner and it was close to wrapping up. Issy and her friends all managed to sit at one table somehow. Issy sat between Bree and Alec, opposite Flare, Kayden and Charlie. Her hands were clasped with brother's and her sister's and Issy suspected, no matter who they sat next to, they all were holding hands. They knew no one was being cut until tomorrow but today gave everyone an idea of who would be leaving them. Issy didn't like the though of any of their group leaving, not now, not when they had all connected so well but Issy had an idea a few nights ago. After the game of dares they did someone had taken a picture of all fourteen of them, all of them were laughing and smiling and joking around, some were leaning against another, others had arms hooked around necks or shoulders. She knew four of them would be cut so she copied the picture out onto paper four times for each of them so in that way they haven't really left each other.
Cups start banging against the tables as Eric and Max walk onto the balcony above them and Issy squeezes their hands harder. Max raises a hand and silence falls instantly.
"We come to the end of Stage Two." His voice booms out but it is not loud. "As you all know there are no cuts today. Fourteen initiates will have their final test tomorrow, four of them will leave us and ten will remain. Those of you that are in the bottom four, this is your last chance to get a spot in Dauntless, use it wisely." Max smirks. "I can't find a way to draw the wait out any longer so hear are the final rankings of Stage Two." Dauntless members laugh with the head leader as the names appear one by one from the bottom up until fourteen names are listed.
1 – Alec
2 – Issy
3 – Hector
4 – Luke
5 – Lilah
6 – Noah
7 – Cody
8 – Flare
9 – Bree
10 – Sam
–
11 – Kayden
12 – Crystal
13 – Meg
14 – Charlie
Issy's eyes go to the bottom four immediately. To Issy any of them is a great loss to their group but Issy doesn't want to part with her new brother the twins have gained. When she looks over to Kayden she swears she sees Flare latch onto his side. Those of the bottom four look at each other with some sort of acceptance before shaking it away and cheering with the rest of the faction. Bree clapped Issy on her back, whooping in her ear but Issy couldn't understand why until she looked over the rankings again. Second! She was second and Alec first! Issy laughed gleefully as she leaned into Alec. Her brother fist pumped the air as he wrapped an arm around her.
"You've gone up like, four ranks since last time!" Alec shouted in her ear. She laughed and nodded back. When Alec removed his arm a new set of arms pulled her out of her seat.
"Second Issy!" Hugo shouted in her ear, gripping her tightly. Just like their reunion on the twin's first time in Dauntless Hugo pushed Issy into Declan's arms, who appeared behind them, before pulling Alec out of his chair and hugging him.
"This means if you work hard enough, you can knock Alec's arse out of first!" Declan laughs with the table of initiates as Alec glares at him.
"Hilarious. But that's not gonna happen, no way."
A challenging grin slides onto Issy's face. "Is that a challenge brother dear?"
Alec's eyes widen as he stares at her. He shakes his head almost comically. "No. no, its not. Na-ah, no way is it a challenge."
Lilah laughs, getting up from the table and wrapping her arms around Issy. "One more day." After their mini celebration of the ending of Stage Two was over, they immediately left the room and to their dorms for the morning.
xXx
Breakfast was a quiet affair the next morning. No one spoke, no one sighed, no even dared to breath too loudly as they pretended to eat. In exactly one hour Four will come and collect them, leading them to the room which will hold the final test. Issy is quiet as she sips the coffee Hugo brought for her. Her blue eyes are unfocused as she stares at the table. Lynn's words from a few days before ring in her mind. You'll face all of your fears, the first being the one you find least scary, the last being the one that fucks you up real bad. For definite, she knows that Reece's death will be last but which order the others will come in, Issy has no clue then there's the possibility of a new fear showing up. Issy sighs into the travel mug, closing her eyes as she leans her chin on the top of the mug.
Time seemed to drag in Issy's mind but it must have gone quicker than expected in reality when Four calls out to them. Opening her eyes, she sees Four right in front of her, he takes the mug out of her numb hands and motions for her to get up. She hadn't even noticed the rest of the initiates were already up and waiting. Issy mumbles a bleak sorry before standing on her trembling legs. Four leads them through corridors they've travelled down once before and Issy stays to the back of the pack, mentally preparing herself for the amount of shit she'll have to go through. 'Hooray for me.' The voice in her head is dull, almost lifeless as she stares to the ground like she's being lead to her execution. In a way she is, having to suffer two main events in her life again when she'd rather not think about them. Stairs creak underneath them as they come to a room she almost loves as much as the calming but dangerous waters of the Chasm. The glass floor is gleaming under the fluorescent lights above them. Issy smiles lightly, she loves the glass floor. To her its fascinating how the Dauntless beneath them go about their lives without a care in the world someone might be watching them from this room. If, when, she passes Issy will definitely be coming back to this room one night if she finds herself wandering. It also amuses her greatly how Cody practically runs across it and how tense Four is as he strides over it, he must not like heights.
Four leads them to the door on the other end of the room and through that door is where the final test will be held. They were told that much when each of them went through one of Lauren's fears in that same room three days ago. In the middle of the room is an orange chair, similar to the ones in the sim rooms and to one side is two lines of seven chairs and they take a seat nervously. Issy and her brother sit on the very end of the row nearest to the leaders with Bree and Noah behind them. The room is dark and large graffiti is sprayed onto one of the walls but Issy was focused on the other side. Amongst the many bodies of black stood three in blue, Jeanine Matthews being one of them. Her eyes widen and she grabs onto Alec's arm as she notices their mother conversing with Max. The twins share a look of surprise when their mother smiles at them. With the three Erudites stand the Leaders and a few important figures of Dauntless including the heads of departments and for some reason, their older brothers. Only the Dauntless Leaders and now the Erudites will watch what actually happens in their fear landscape. The others that mingle around will watch their reactions to the fears without the context of it.
Four stands in front of the chair the initiates sit and looks over them, nodding slightly. "One by one, you'll go up randomly and then return to these seats afterwards." He then looks to those of the bottom four. "This is your last chance of getting in. Remember what you all did in your sims and don't fuck up."
From the end on the first row Issy snorts, rolling her golden eyes. "That's a great pep talk number boy, got any more up those majestic sleeves of yours?"
A muffled laugh comes from where the leaders stand. Four glares at her and when she opens her mouth to something else Alec clasps a hand over her mouth. "Ignore her." Alec drawls indifferently. Laughs come from behind the twins as she glared at her brother from over his hand. "She gets somewhat bitchy and overall sarcastic when she's nervous." More laughs surround them as Issy flips her brother off.
"If you're quite finished," Max rubs his face, partly hiding the smile on his face. "We'd like to start."
Four quickly nods before sharing a look with Eric and he nods, murmuring something to the leaders around him and then nodding to Jason and Bud who stand on the sidelines. Issy tenses up, sharing a panicked look with Kayden over her shoulder. They know that look. They know it really well. Kayden sinks lower in his chair and Four notices. "Shall we get this over and done with Kayden?" Four quirks and eyebrow at Issy's smug grin. "I don't know what you're grinning about, you're after him." Issy's grin drops as she starts to shuffle uncomfortably.
Kayden stands up reluctantly, walking towards the chair. He allows Jason and Bud to get him into a tight hold. It isn't until Eric comes closer with the needle does Kayden start to panic. Kayden starts to struggle in the hold until he breaks out of it but it's not long until the breath in his lungs are stolen from him as Jason tackles him to the ground and tries to put him in a submit position. The initiates eyes go wide as they watch Kayden thrash and snarl in his hold more when Jason yells for the needle. Issy slumps into her chair more when Max asks if Kayden's alright. His knees pound Jason's back until he can twist his body enough to buck him off but before he can get up hands grab at him, pinning him down.
"Oh it's fine." Four huffs out a breath while he puts his body weight onto Kayden's legs and Bud more or less sits on his chest while he holds Kayden's head in his hands, making his head go still. "He's one of two initiates that made Stage Two particularly hard because of their," Four pauses, looking for fitting word. "dislike for needles."
"And who's the other?" Winnie pipes up curiously from the side of Max. Four glances at Issy without even realising it and she slumps further into her chair as the Leaders, the Heads and anyone else who heard their conversation turn to Issy. Despite being slumped all the way down in her chair and looking somewhat submissive, Issy glares at each and every one of them until they look away. During their conversation, Eric managed to get the needle in Kayden's neck and together the four men carry Kayden to the chair. Eric takes Four aside and whispers something to him before parting ways when Kayden goes under. Eric quickly makes his way back to the other Leaders and hooks himself up as Four jogs out of the room.
Issy tries to distract herself by talking with Bree but that didn't stop her knee subconsciously start bouncing as her nerves grew. Her need to move grew so she quietly stood up and started to pace behind the row of chairs.
"Stop pacing." Luke hissed at her. "You're making me nervous."
"This is calming me down." She hissed back and as she looked up her eyes connected with her mother's. Ella smiled warmly at her with a wink and Issy slid back into her chair with a huff. Finally, after what felt like years, Kayden came to sweating and breathing heavily. His legs trembled as he stood up and shakily made his way over to the initiates who clapped and cheered for him. Issy had chewed her lip bloody when Four appeared out of nowhere and looked at her, motioning her up. She glanced quickly at the Leaders and met Eric's eyes as he stood up and made his way to the chair. Jason and Bud both moved to the side lines, just in case.
With shaking legs, she clenched her hands into fists as she made her way to the chair, fully aware of every eye in the room on her. She stopped right in front of the chair and exhaled unsteadily. Jason took a step forward but halted to a stop when Eric held a hand out, watching to see if she'd do it herself. Her instructors waited with baited breath as Issy stepped up to the chair and sat down. Her pale blue eyes met Eric's again and she nodded. Her nails bit into her palms as she watched the needle being prepared. Issy swallowed as Four treaded carefully towards her, needle in hand. She began to shake her head as her body trembled and just like that, shit exploded. Jason and Bud grabbed her shoulders from behind and pulled her back into the chair. Fear burst into her mind as memories of white walls and restraints pulling her back resurfaced. That fear flooded into her eyes as they paled even more into the lightest blue either of her instructors have ever seen. Four moved forwards and grabbed her arm. Instinctively, Issy reacted out of fear while her mind relived those torturous memories and she pulled her free arm back and rammed it into Four's nose. With a cry, Four staggered back dropping the needle as he clutched his now bleeding and broken nose. Issy thrashed and snarled and hissed in the hold until Eric grabbed both of her wrists with his hands and pulled them to the side, barking for Four to get up. As Four stumbled back up and prepared another needle while he wiped the blood away with the back of his hand, smearing it all over his face, Issy's friends watched with their jaws on the ground, hissing at the crack of Four's nose and cringing as the blood flowed freely. Being oblivious to anything but the needle Issy snapped her head back and forth as she thrashed again. Eric roughly pulled at her arms, securing her wrists with one hand as he wrapped his other arm around her head. His breath was heavy in her ear while she snarled at Four when he came closer with the second needle.
"Issy!" Eric quietly hissed in her ear. "Issy! Listen to me, listen to my voice." Her snarl lessened slightly as she did as told. "You'll be okay Issy. I would never allow anyone to hurt you." By the time her breathing had slowed Four was now by her side but as soon as Four placed a hand on her neck she snarled so fiercely that Four backed up a step. "Issy." Eric's voice calmly scolded her as she bared her teeth at Four and Eric's hold tightened, as did Jason's and Bud's. "C'mon Issy, you can do this. I believe in you." Issy's head stilled enough for Four to get the needle in her neck. She hissed, snapping her teeth at him as three sets of hands let her go albeit one a little more slower than the others. Eric shot with a quick smile as he jogged back to his chair and hooked himself up again. Her eyelids began to droop as Four mumbled Be Brave with blood pouring from his nose and she succumbed to the darkness.
Her eyes open to darkness. A darkness that isn't really darkness but is. Something lighter moves on her left before blending in with the shadows around her. She spins around as something moves again before disappearing. In the distance two red dots appear and she braces herself for what is to come. When they get closer Issy can see that the red flickering flames are brighter since she last saw them as they dance parallel with each other. Issy takes a step back subconsciously while one huge black, blurry paw steps out from the darkness followed by another until one very familiar wolf stands eye to eye with her. Lucifer. His eyes are redder and burning hotter than before. His fur is darker than the darkness around them, his edges blurring and floating like smoke. He snarls at her as he begins to circle her just like he always does, its like a dance they do. Issy watches with caution as Lucifer smiles a wicked grin, fangs bared. The snapping of jaws makes her spin around again. Wolves like black shadow and red flame lurk from the darkness grinning, snarling, snapping, circling her but they make no move to take her down. Once again, each wolf is different. Be it by size, by how dark their fur is or how bright their eyes burn but, of course, the biggest, darkest, glowing eyed wolf is Lucifer who is sat there grinning his wicked grin like a fox who got into the chicken coup.
One of the smaller wolves that circle her jumps forward. "Worthless." It snaps before it backs back into the circle. 'And so it begins.' She thinks to herself as she stands her ground.
"Weak." Says another.
"Waste of space." She's heard all this before from that one person that ruined her life. Jeremy. They all taunt her in his voice.
"You are nothing." One whispers.
"Pathetic." Ones jaws come far too close to her arm but she still stands her ground, golden eyes glaring fiercely into red.
"Disappointment."
"Weak."
"You're not worthy of Dauntless."
"Worthless."
"Weak."
"You don't belong here."
"Nothing."
The wolves growl, snap and snarl more insults her way. Issy hisses and snarls back, stepping forward as another wolf moves to growl at her but hesitantly steps back into the circle and they begin to chant louder, circling in closer. Lucifer again doesn't join in but his face is far from pleased. She doesn't want to look into his eyes but she remembers a book she read back in Erudite that looking a dog, or in this case a wolf, in the eye is a sign of a challenge but looking away is a sign of submission. Her heart skyrockets higher as their eyes connect and images project from his eyes. Images of Jeremy holding needles, of Reece in his crib, of the last glance back to her crying family before she ran into the flaming house. Lucifer growls to those around him and they shut up, backing away from him and Issy and bowing their heads to him. Issy tries to get her breathing under control while her fists clench. She stands still, glaring with her heart beating fast as Lucifer stalks closer, her teeth clench together when he brushes against her side. His fur is rougher, sharper than it was last time and she bites back a cry.
"No one loves you," Lucifer says in a manipulated version of Eric's voice. A deeper, sharper, colder version. "Why would they?" He laughs brutally behind her, resting his great head on her shoulder. "You're nothing but an experiment. You're not brave enough to face your uncle, what good are you in Dauntless?" She cringes as she smells his foul breath, as his nose nudges against her ear. He chuckles, moving his head away from her before he turns to sit in front of her, cocking his head to the side. "It's your fault Reece died. It's such a pity, he would have grown into such a strong man. If anyone was to die that night it should have been you. No one would miss you if you were to go. Why? Because you. Are. Nothing."
She feels like she's gonna break again and let him control her mind again when a voice surfaces in her mind. The voice was how it is normally as she remembers. "You're not weak." Eric said that to her after a sim one day. "I believe in you." Eric said that to her only moments before and she smiles as she pictures his eyes. "I'm not weak." Issy simply says and Lucifer steps back as she steps forward. "I am not nothing. You may have teeth like a wolf but you'll always cry like a little sheep." Issy grins tauntingly as he snarls. She takes another step forward as he takes another back. "Who's pathetic now, little wolf? I am what I am." A step forward. "If that makes people disappointed then so be it. That is their opinion of me, it doesn't matter. All that matters is my family, my friends, those that I hold close to my heart and if they really think that then they can go fuck themselves into the seventh realm of hell and I'll see them there soon." With a winning smirk she reaches out to Lucifer and swishes her hand to the side, brushing the smoke apart until it fades and the red eyes vanish.
Issy spins waiting for the next one to come when something slams her back into the ground and the scene becomes clear. The sudden bright light makes her hiss and scrunch her eyes close. Her back is once again against the coolness of metal. For a moment the coolness calms her but it feels fake, it always does. The calmness feels forced, unreal, stiff. And then Issy finally feels the bindings on her wrists and ankles. Panic floods her mind as her eyes snap open, blazing pale gold and she tries to sit up. Unable to sit up more than a few inches, she gets a good look of the room despite knowing what's already in there with her. The blood rushes out of her face and her jaw clenches as she pulls at her bindings. Issy pulls at her bindings harder until her skin burns. It hurts. The rope bites at her skin red raw and a tear runs down her face as she whimpers, slumping on to the cool metal. She tries not to look at the objects around her but the shininess of glass and metal draws her attention. The tables are littered with partly empty needles. Some of the substances in the needles slosh about as it rolls across the table. Issy looks at the solitary door with false hope. The door feels so close but still so far away.
Thumping from the other side of the door makes her heart race. Numerous voices merge together. Her name is always hissed like a curse, a taboo. The door opens a tad and her ears pick up parts of the sentence.
"Serums...0503 and 0122...Ranges in strength...Should have...Results..."
The door opens wider. At first she only sees a trolley being wheeled through. Her eyes lock on the ten needles neatly aligned in the middle. Her eyes widen when she sees the face of the one pushing the trolley. Issy fights at the bindings with a greater need as she chokes on her tears. She needs to get out. To find help. To run. She bites back a cry when the ropes rub against her skin. Warmth runs down her arms. Small rivers of blood rush from her wrists and the person chuckles as they get closer.
"That's not going to work, darling niece." Jeremy drawls with a wicked grin as he comes to a stop behind her, out of her line of sight. Issy inches up, craning her neck to see him, to watch him when her bindings are pulled tighter and she cries out loud as she is pulled against the metal. Tears blur her vision as she struggles to even arch her back off of the table. From the corner of her eye Issy sees that he left the door open an inch or two. Hope flares in her body while Jeremy comes back around and his fingers dance over the needles, each one a different colour and the substance a different density. His hand stops over one on the end. Its red liquid sloshes around as he picks it up.
"No..." Issy mumbles, shaking her head and tugging at the ropes, trying to get some leeway. "Nonono! Please! No!" Tears rush down her face as he stalks closer.
"This wouldn't've happened if you got Reece out faster." He pauses with the needle raised high. "Well," He laughs. "At least not to you."
Issy breathes heavier, straining to get closer. To hurt him like he's hurt her family. Her glow gold with hatred as she snarls at him. "Touch my family again and you're dead. Touch them again and it'll be your heart that no longer beats!"
He steps back, laughing with malicious glee. "There's the Dauntless spirit you're known for." He sneers. Before Issy can register his words, he surges forward, grabbing onto her neck roughly and stabs the needle in her neck. Issy gasps, all colour drains from her eyes until she's left with a sickly pale blue. She claws at the rope. The substance feels hot as it runs through her veins. Her body seizes still for a minute, for two. When it reaches the fifth minute, her body regains movement. Her ribs heave with every breath she takes as she chokes until red runs from her nose. She slumps back onto the metal, her eyelids heavily drooping as Jeremy notes something down before retrieving the next needle. This time it was thick and orange. Issy feels the bile raise in her throat as she once again struggles against the rope albeit not with as much force as before. "And anyway it has to be you now." His hands are harsh against her skin as the second needle goes in. This time it freezes her nerves and her blood. Issy's limbs slowly stop listening to her as she wills them to move, to fight it off but she can't. "Find a way to fight it Issy!" Eric's voice in her head returns. "Don't give up, Dauntless don't give up!" She forces her eyes open as Jeremy walks towards the trolley with his back to her, still drawling on. "Reece was the perfect subject. But unfortunately the smoke damaged his cells. I was so lucky that you happened to be there at the same time, so lucky. For some reason the serums that were grounded up and put in dear Ella's food when she was pregnant with you and Alec affected you more, even if it was only by a small amount." Issy manages to reach up to her other arm and grabs her wrist. With one swift motion her wrist snaps into an awkward angle and she bits back a scream. Fire rages all the way down her arm as she slips it out of her binding. Her lip is bitten raw from trying to keep the gasps in. Tenderly, she takes a hold of her wrist now its free and snaps in back. Jeremy is still drones on, unaware of her battle for freedom. With numb fingers Issy manages to untie her other hand and then she gets to work on her legs.
Once free Issy quietly moved off of the table and slammed a fist into Jeremy's jaw as he turned around with a third needle. They went to the ground with a crash as Issy ran to the door and slipped into a room beyond that. Jeremy's cursing died down until silence greeted her. Issy rubbed her sore wrist gently while she walked forward. Six spotlights caught her attention and she strode towards it. Issy breathes in sharply when she sees who's under each spotlight. In a row is all of her family gagged, bound up and on their knees with faceless men behind them and a gun at their heads. Issy drops to her knees in front of them.
"Mum? Dad? What's happening?" Her breathing becomes frantic as something appears in the corner of her eye. She turns her head to find a women in Abnegation grey and black hair. Issy's eyes narrow as she stands up and walks to her. The woman put a hand behind her back and pulls out a gun, handing it to Issy.
"Choose." The woman says, motioning her head to her family. Issy opens the barrel to find five bullets and she snaps the barrel back.
"Choose? What do you mean choose? What is going on?"
"Choose." The women simple shrugs. "They can't all survive. Choose one to live."
Issy's eyes widen and she shakes her head in disgust. "I'm not gonna shoot my family!"
"Choose. Or else they all die."
With fury enlaced in the tears in her eyes Issy takes a few steps back, raising her gun and shoots at the woman. The bullet goes straight through her head but she doesn't drop down dead. Horrified, Issy watches the bullet go to the other side of her head until it drops to the floor on the other side. The wound slowly closes up and she smirks.
"Fine." She nods to one of the faceless men and a gun goes off. Issy screams as Cara falls to the floor with a bullet in her head. "Choose." The woman repeats.
With shaking hands, she looks to her remaining family. Looks of understanding run through their eyes as she raises the gun again. "I love you all." Issy gasps as tears run freely down her face. Her eyes close as she fires and a body slumps to the floor. Reopening her eyes she sees blood dripping from her dad's head. Biting her lip, Issy forces herself to continue. She'll lose all of them if she doesn't act quickly. Clamping her eyes shut, she fires again and another body goes down. Her mum's blue eyes are lifeless as they stare up. Issy now looks between Hugo, Alec and Declan. They all hold the sane look in their eyes, a look of pity and understanding. She raises the gun and looks between her siblings. "I love the three of you the most." Issy chokes on the lump in her throat, closing her eyes as she fires. Issy glances at the floor to see Declan's blond hair tinted pink with blood.
Issy looks at the gun as she raises it, quoting a part of a poem she once knew. " 'Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday. Unseen, unheard but always near. Still loved, still missed and very dear.'" She takes aim, her hand somewhat steady. "I love you." She says, one last time before pulling the trigger. Hugo's body collides with the floor and Issy lets out a breath. She drops the gun and shares the look of relief in Alec's eyes as his shoulders slump. Issy looks to the woman with raised eyebrows.
The woman nods to her reluctantly, gesturing for the men to follow her. When she glances back to her twin he isn't there. None of her families bodies are there. In fact she stands in a room that looks like a bomb exploded in. Stepping out of what must have been a door at some point Issy finds herself near the Hub, or what she thinks was once the Hub, it just is more ruined than normal. In fact all the buildings around her are. They're all far more decayed than she's used to seeing. Fog covers the ground, hiding the floor from her eyes. That is until she steps on something and it snaps. Looking down she slaps her hand over her mouth to stop the scream that threatens to rise. A body. She can't tell who it is – or was. Issy turns around, staggering back when she sees bodies littering the ground. White and black. Grey. Red and yellow. Blue and white. Black and red. Their colours separate them from each other but together they lay emotionless, unmoving. Issy's head snaps up to the horizon when she hears gunshots and she quickly ducks low to the ground. More gunshots go off and Issy's mind whirls to a stop when she sees a figure near by cladded in black. With a quick scan of her surroundings she scurries to the body and begins to search for a weapon. Her fingers wrap around a gun and some ammo, her other hand finds another gun and a knife. Checking both of the barrels, Issy slips one gun in her waist band and lifts her top to cover it and the other she keeps out just in case. She shoves the ammo into one of her pockets as she takes the knife's sheath off of the body and ties it to her left fore arm, slipping the knife in. while she does all that Issy constantly checks all around her at the slightest noise.
A minute later she hears footsteps running towards her, two sets at least pounding against the ground, getting louder, getting closer. Her mouth parts in surprise. "It cannot be." Unconsciously she takes a step forward and then another until her own feet are pounding into the ground, bolting forwards. Hurling herself over bodies and rubble, she pushes herself to go faster. It was! She wasn't dreaming! Her twin brother comes to a stop on a large ledge made from rubble not twenty feet in front of her in Dauntless uniform. His knees are bent as he crouches low with a gun in his hand, glancing around. "Alec!" She shouts and his eyes snap to her as she gets closer. Issy is greeted with a frown, his eyes screaming at her to run.
"Issy! Go!" With a free hand, he points in the direction she came from. "Don't look back, go! I –" He suddenly stops talking. His eyes go blank as he falls onto his knees.
"Alec?" Issy whispers. Slowly, as if time was put on slow motion, his body falls forward and she sees a knife sticking out of his back. "Alec!" She screams at her brother, rushing forward the last few steps between them. Falling to the ground next to him she carefully rolls him over, cradling his head in her lap. Tears race down her face as she begs him to get up, to move, to breathe. She doesn't understand what's going on. What happened to their city to get like this?
"Issy?" Another voice she would recognize anywhere speaks up. Hugo. Her eyes pale with sadness lock with his and she takes him in. Just like Alec, he's in uniform, ready for battle with a gun strapped to his thigh and another in his hands. His eyebrows are scrunched down in confusion until his eyes focus on Alec.
"Hugo! Hugo we have to help him! We have to do something!" She grips at Alec's jacket as Hugo's stance loosens.
"Issy what –" A gunshot cuts him off and his blue eyes widen as he starts to sway. "Iss-" Hugo topples over on his side. Unmoving. Not breathing. Dead. Issy chokes on a lump in her throat as she gently lays Alec's head on the ground before crawling over to Hugo. Shakily she checks his pulse with false hope. Nothing. Her eyes blur as she brushes his black hair away from his face.
Somewhere behind her more footsteps pound and more gunshots follow. Her instincts take over and her eyes clear. Quickly Issy takes the gun from Hugo's cold hands and his thigh, checking the safety is on and rams them into the back of her waistband with the other one she picked up. Standing up, she crouches low o the ground and stalks forward carefully, alert and ready. Something shoves her into the ground from behind, pushing her into the ground from the weight. She tries to fight, to reach for the gun that spun out of her grasp when another familiar voice filled with worry and a small bit of annoyance stops her.
"What are you doing?" That voice. Declan. His face becomes clearer to her now despite it being somewhat dirty. It's as familiar as those that follow it.
"Issy come on, we need to go! Declan get her up!" Dad. It's their dad stood to their left. Dec's hands grab at her arms, heaving her up. She turns to see Cara leant against a wall with their mum lifting up a bloodied bandage from Cara's arm. Declan is still holding her close when Issy notices they all are prepared for war. Their dad stands with a rifle in his hands, their mum has a gun strapped over her back and Cara has two on each hip but what Issy finds the strangest is that they're all in Dauntless uniform. All of them. Their dad watches as their mum finishes fiddling with the bandage before speaking up again. "C'mon we need to –" A force pushes him forward and he too falls to the ground, blood pouring from his neck. Cara screams and their mum pulls her back. Issy can't the tears to cry or her voice to scream. She stands their with her eyes fixed on the blood.
"There's nothing we can do, we have to leave them." Their mum's voice breaks as her eyes drift to Alec to Hugo and to her husband. She takes a deep breath before pulling out a hand gun and leading the way to fuck knows where. Cara follows with Issy behind her after Issy picked up the gun from the floor and Declan brought up the rear, constantly checking their surroundings. None of them speak, none of them can form the words. Alec's body, Hugo's lifeless eyes, Dad's blood soaked neck. It's all Issy can see and if she wasn't currently running on adrenaline right now, she'd be on the floor in tears but she finds that even if she wanted to, she can't. She doesn't question what they're doing, where they're going or what happened. Issy finds that she can't give a shit at the moment.
A gunshot goes off in the distance and they freeze. Issy clicks off the safety while their mum shares a look with Declan. As a squad, they move towards another building across the street. Bodies wearing the faction's colours are still covering the floor and Issy's curiosity gets the best of her.
"Okay, so what the fuck happened here?" Issy whispers to Cara once they reach the building.
Her sister's eyes cloud over. "Times change Issy."
"What? What's that 'posed to mean?" Issy throws her hands up in frustration when Cara doesn't answer. "Cara! Tell me!" She hisses louder. Just as Cara opens her mouth to answer, something ghosts past Issy's ear and draws blood before it lands in Cara's chest, forcing her to the ground. Issy rushes forward and grips her hair when she finds no pulse. 'What the fuck is going on?!' Issy mentally screams to herself. "Cara? Cara! Mum! Cara, she – Mum? Dec?" Issy's gaze was too focused on Cara to noticed what happened but their mum was slumped against the wall, glassy eyed, and Dec was on his back, choking and coughing up blood. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" Issy collapses at Declan's side and her fingers run along his body for any open wounds. When she gets to his ribs, she comes into contact with something warm and sticky. Her hand comes away covered in blood and she almost wants to gag. Instead she rips the bottom of her top and pushes it into the wound. Dec coughs up more blood and smiles grimly as she does everything she can to stop the bleeding.
"Issy." Declan's voice is raspy and rough and painful. It's so unlike Declan, it almost hurts. Shakily, he raises a hand to cup her cheek and Issy leans into it, covering it with her free hand. "It's gonna be okay. You'll be okay." She doesn't know if he's trying to reassure her or himself. "We all love you. We'll always…love…you…." With his last word, he exhales his final breath.
Issy screws her eyes shut as she holds his hand to her cheek with both hands. Breathing deeply Issy places his hands on his chest and slumps back. The tears she couldn't find earlier finally fall, slowly, quietly, one by one. With the palm of her hands she brushes her tears away. She know what's next as she unarms herself, placing her guns, ammo and the knife she found to the side. Issy brushes her fingers through her brother's hair and leans forward to place a kiss on his forehead. With quivering legs, Issy stands up and walks way without a second glance. Issy keeps walking but for how long she doesn't know. A sudden chill seeps into her bones and she wraps her arms around her waist. Her muscles tense when thunder rumbles in the sky as rain starts to pour. Issy sweeps her now soaking hair out of her eyes. Something looms in front of her but she cant quite make out what it is. That is until lightening strikes in the darkened sky, revealing a house. Not just any house, her old home. Lightening strikes again as thunder crackles and her home abruptly sets alight. Issy stands there, shocked and horrified as flames eat at the building. Flames hiss as they come into contact with the rain. Shivers run up her spine and her heart stops as a scream comes from within the house. Not a loud scream, just one loud enough to hear the pain in their voice.
"Reece." She whispers to herself, she can feels tears collecting in her eyes. Issy takes a small step forward and then another until she is sprinting to the house and throwing herself into the flames. Down the hall she can see small flames lick at the chairs in the kitchen, eating at family pictures hung on the walls to her side. The hallway feels cramped as smoke clogs her lungs and she coughs, tears stinging her eyes. Her eyes widen as the crying gets louder.
A child cries out, the very same cry that's been carved into her for years. "Mama!"
Issy breathes in sharply as a tear escapes. "REECE!" She spins around frantically and volleys herself into more flames. Running from room to room she yells for her baby brother, ignoring the flames as they become thicker, as the smoke makes it unbearable to breathe. As she reaches the bottom of the stairs the cries become louder. She looks up and shouts his name.
"Iszee!" The little boy calls back.
Wasting no time, she sprints up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. She hisses as the fire eats at her heels, as it touches her skin, burning into her soul. Opening each door she finds no one but the cries get louder. Coming to Reece's room, she flings open the door and there he is. He sits in his cot, his blue eyes red-rimmed with tears streaming down his puffed up cheeks. His light brown hair is ruffled and his hands are gripping the bars. She gasps his name and dashes forward only to run head first into an invisible barrier. Slamming her hands against the barrier again and again, she wails as loud as her brother does. "Please! Please!" She begs. "Reece!" A cold laugh comes from the darkened corner of the room. A man with greying hair and emotionless eyes steps forward into the light next to Reece's cot and she stops breathing. "Jeremy." His mouth twitches up into an ugly sneer as he walks towards the barrier. He cackles as he looks between Issy and Reece.
"Feeling useless Issy?" He grins as she slams again harder. He saunters over to Reece and picks him up. The little boy's crying softens a bit, it would look like a normal uncle calming down his nephew if Issy didn't know better. A feral grin slid onto Jeremy's face as her fists pounded against the barrier.
"No! No! Put him back! Leave him be!"
"And why should I do that?" He walks closer. "What can you offer me instead?"
"Take me!" She screams, ramming her shoulder into the invisible wall. "Take me instead! Please!"
"You know," Jeremy drawls out as he holds Reece up to look at him. "I don't think I will." His grin curls up into a sneer. As if Reece was nothing more than a doll, Jeremy grabbed his head and smashed it against the wall making a sickening crack.
"NO!" Issy screamed and screamed. Her knees buckled from beneath her and she slid against the wall, crying her eyes out, and shouting her throat raw. Clawing at the wall she begged to get closer, to hold her baby brother. From the corner of her eye she saw Jeremy smiling, looking very smug with himself. Furious, she turned to him. "You monster! You sick, vile bastard! Three! He was only three yo –" Issy screamed in frustration, gripping and pulling at her hair. Her breathing heaved as she curled into herself. "It's not real. It's not real. It's not real." Issy chanted to herself until she could feel her breathing slow. "It's not real. It's not real. It's not real." Her breathing slowed to a steady rhythm and she closed her eyes.
Issy inhales deeply as her eyes snap open and she notices Four in front of her with small smile, the blood on his face now gone.
"Congratulations Issy. If you could go back to the other initiates please? Rankings will be posted after dinner."
With another deep breath, Issy stands up without so much as a quiver in her body as she walks back to her friends, to her brother with her head held high. Her friends clap and cheer for her and Issy can't help the wide grin that comes onto her face as she sits down. From all sides well dones and congrats are volleyed at her and she laughs a little bit, lacing her fingers with Alec's. Four calls out for Luke and motions to the chair. With supportive slaps from those close to him Luke walks up to the chair.
"Luke owes me two hundred points if he comes out crying!" Hec's voice comes from somewhere behind her and they all start laughing as Luke sends a mock glare at his friend over his shoulder. With a stern look from Four, the initiates hide their giggles in their hands. Compared to Kayden and herself, Luke makes it look ridiculously easy as he is injected. Issy can't help it when she rolls her eyes and mutters Show-off loudly. She gets a choked laugh from Kayden and a reprimanding look from Four.
Much to Hector's disappointment, Luke does not come out crying. One by one, her friends take their turn on the chair. Some came back shaking, some came back fine but even if they came back nearly in tears, they're up for a laugh, no matter how fake it may start out as. Issy made them laugh with stories of her pranks and brought their spirits up even if she wanted to break down. For her friends, she'll be strong until they get their final rankings and when she's alone in her alcove she'll let herself break down over the friends she's lost, over the memories she's had to relive and over – hopefully – how she's made it into Dauntless.
Now all I have to do is the final rankings and job choosing before they start to live as Dauntless. If there's anything anyone would like to see the twins do, please message me. I'd love to hear what mischief they could possibly get up to ;)