Song of the chapter: Hold My Girl by George Ezra

Eric's POV

Eric sighed deeply as he felt Issy relax into him as sleep took her. He nuzzled into her hair, still not quite believing she was here and awake. If he thought the feeling of her leaving the compound for Amity had torn him apart, the sight of Issy coming out of the operating room blew it out of the standings completely.

He shouldn't have done it and all his friends told him not to do it, even Uriah practically ordered him not to do it but Eric wanted – needed – to know what had happened. So he watched the footage of the ambush. What most people didn't know is that there are cameras on top of the cab roof. This allowed him to see everything that happened directly in front of the cab, which capture Issy's crash perfectly. It destroyed Eric, absolutely destroyed him. Tears silently ran down his face as he realised he should have listened to Uri but it was too late. After that, every time he visited Issy in the infirmary, the footage would play on loop in his head.

He wasn't proud to admit it but Eric wasn't in the best of places while Issy was in her coma. For nearly a month. An impact like that should have caused great damage to the point of no recovery. For her brothers it was the second time of the waiting game to see if she would awake up again. Thankfully, whether it was down to fate of the stubbornness of her will, she woke up again. He found out from Four late in the night, debating on choices that could change his life…

Eric breathed in the night air. He was on one of the roofs on the border of the compound, standing on the ledge. The stars were out and Eric couldn't help but think of the constellations on Issy's neck. He still didn't know what they stood for and it was unlikely that he would be finding out. His heart clenched and he hissed, remembering the sight of her skin so pale.

"You're not going to jump are you?" Four's voice cut through the silence of the night. Eric didn't bother answering or even turning around to acknowledge him. He could already see the unamused look and the frown on Number Boy's face if Eric had answered with what he was thinking, whether it was sarcastic or not… Four waited and when he realised that Eric wasn't going to say anything, he sighed. "Would you really do that to Declan if such a thing happened?"

It was Eric's turn to sigh. Somehow Four knew exactly what he was thinking and it unnerved Eric slightly. The Leader and Number Boy hadn't been as close as they originally was since Four beat him in a fight in their own initiation and yet somehow the pair could still tell what the other was thinking… If it wasn't for Dec, their somewhat civil friendship wouldn't even exist and Eric knows they'd be something akin to arch-rivals. "Maybe… I don't know…" Eric said truthfully and he turned back to look at Four. Four watched him carefully, his body tensed in preparation to sprint forward just in case Eric somehow…falls off… A small smile plays at Eric's lips. He knows if it wasn't for Declan, Four wouldn't give a single shit if he did fall off the ledge.

"Get off the ledge Eric." His voice is firm but Eric says nothing as a muscle twitches in his jaw. "Eric. Get off the ledge." They stare at each other for a long time before Eric slowly steps onto the roof. Four exhales and then his expression changes. Eric quirks an eyebrow in confusion when a wide grin comes onto Four's face. "Issy's awake."

Eric froze, inhaling sharply, and realised that this person he's become and those thought that littered his head mere moments ago weren't him. That's not who Eric is. That's not who Issy would want him to be – Bree's already kicked that into his skull – but Eric found himself falling into that shell as his golden-eyed woman had less and less chances of waking up.

This isn't him and Eric promises himself and Issy that he'll find himself again.

Now, a few days later, Eric was kicking himself for being such an idiot. If he made that one choice then Issy would have woken up to find that her Leader had taken the coward's way out and Eric knows that now.

Sometime while Eric was deep in his thoughts, Issy's head had rolled onto his shoulder. He's pretty sure she'll wake up with a crick in her neck but Issy can't really lay any other way without injuring herself further. From the reports Eric received from Max and Vex, Issy's healing well. Though Eric was absolutely furious when he found out that they'd drugged Issy up on morphine so that they could inject her with healing serum – the one and only reason she's healing as quickly as she is. his anger is still simmering under the surface even if he can see the logic to it. Issy heals faster and she gets less shit from their faction for being unable to be Dauntless enough, he just hates the way they go about it. Max is already aware that if they even dare try and do that while he is there, then there will be a high probability that Eric may get arrested… He wouldn't regret it, even if it means he loses his leadership status.

Eric carefully shifts Issy's head onto the pillows for a moment while he takes his jacket and boots off before settling back next to Issy. He shuffles down the bed slightly and slips his arm underneath her head. He shifts her head back onto his shoulder in a better position than before getting as comfy as his wide frame can without jostling Issy. Eric presses a kiss to her forehead, pausing to breathe in her scent, and rests his cheek against her head as he lets sleep take him too.

xXx

Eric wakes up in the early hours of the morning at the sound of whimpering. He jolts out of his sleepy daze to see Issy's face scrunched up in pain and shaking in her sleep. Eric swears under his breath before gently shaking her awake.

"Issy? Issy?" He whispers and her eyes snap open, a sharp gasp escaping her lips. Her eyes are wide and pale gold, her hand is trembling as it grabs his t-shirt. Her eyes close again as she starts to cry and Eric can down nothing but stroke her hair and shush her while the nightmare ebbs away.

Issy's silent for a moment before her eyes reopen. In any other situation Eric would have been eerily creeped out by the whiteish hue with flecks of gold. Eric doesn't think he's seen that shade before, but then again her eyes are ever changing so there's no surprise there. "I'm sorry for waking you." She whispered, ducking her face into his shoulder and her hair fell around her face like curtains.

Eric smiled and parted her hair so he could see her face as best he could in the darkness. "I'd rather you wake me so that I can be there for you then you suffer alone." Issy ducked her head down again and Eric allowed her to hide. He shifted slightly and gently pulled her against his wide frame. It wasn't long before they both fell asleep again.

xXx

Eric had left Issy in her room around about ten in the morning. They had both slept late and when Eric left for his apartment, she was still asleep. He made sure he was quick about showering and getting dressed before making his way back to the infirmary.

Inside the infirmary was quiet but there was shouting coming from somewhere. As he got closer to Issy's room, the shouting got louder and Eric grew more alarmed. The door was already open. When he walked in to see the shock and surprise on Four, Tris and Marlene's face, hurt and worry on Josh and Hugo's. Eric noticed the distance lacking between Josh and Hugo, though neither of them seemed to be aware. In the middle was Marlene who stood with her hands out towards Four, Tris, Josh and Hugo as if to ward them off from Issy. Her eyes wide with something similar to fear and Issy was curled up on her bed, almost pressed against the wall.

Issy gasped when her eyes found him. "Eric!" He noticed the hurt amplify on Hugo's face as she reached out to him. Eric strode forward quickly to her side and she wrapped an arm around his waist as he press a hand lightly to her back. He felt her shake and heard a whimper. He knew she was in pain, a lot of it by the look of uneasiness on Marlene's face, the nurse's gaze locked on Issy's ribs. Eric's gaze locked on Hugo.

"It's a bad day." He grimaced. "This isn't even her worst."

"What do you mean it's a bad day?" Eric hissed as he rubbed circles on her back as she whimpered.

"It's caused by her concussion." Marlene said when Hugo didn't answer. "It's getting worse and so she'll have random bouts of memory loss."

It hits Eric then. Issy doesn't remember who her brothers or Four or Tris or Marlene is… But she remembers him… The realisation nearly send him staggering and its only Issy's tight grip and the whine that escapes her that keeps Eric in place. With his mouth agape, Eric looks down to the woman in his arms. Her head is pressed into his stomach, as well as a hand laid against his chest, and the other arm is still tightly wrapped around his waist.

"I think it might be better if we leave…" Four laced his fingers with Tris' but his eyes are on Eric. Her nods at the Leader before pulling his girlfriend out of the room.

Josh placed a hand on Hugo's shoulder and pulled him back a step, his eyes still on Issy. "C'mon Hugo." The words we're gonna make it worse are left unsaid but ring out loud. Hugo's eyes flicker from Eric and Issy to Marlene and then to Josh. With a solemn nod, Hugo allows Josh to pull him out of the room.

Issy's grip loosens just a bit as she eyes Marlene, the last unknown in the room. "Issy?" Marlene says softly walking towards the bed slowly. "Please can you lay back down? I'm going to make the pain lessen." Issy looks up to Eric and he nods his head. She begins to uncurl but cries out in pain. Marlene swears under her breath, glancing to Eric cautiously. "Issy, you're going to have to stretch out on the bed. It will make everything worse if you stay like that."

Eric helps her uncurl slowly and his eyes dart to the teeth digging into her bottom lip as silent tears ran down her cheeks. He holds Issy still as Marlene checks her leg for any further problems before moving onto her wrist that is now laid on the pile of pillows. Everything seems fine until Marlene lifts Issy's very loose top up and unwraps the bandages. Eric hisses and his grip unconsciously tightens. Her ribs are completely black and blue, a colour that nearly every Dauntless wear with pride but Eric never wants to see on Issy again. Marlene's in and out the room before Eric even realises. In her hands are several tubs. He's thankful that it wasn't the morphine drip and a needle.

"What does that do?" Eric asks as Marlene. The nurse lightly spreads one type of cream all around Issy's ribs and stomach.

"The cream is to sooth the bruising and calm the skin discolouration. I don't like the idea of drugging her up to inject her to heal her." Marlene scowls as she scoops more cream on her fingers. "For all we know, Issy could come out completely healed within a few weeks but then addicted to morphine…. I'd rather not risk it." Eric nods in agreement and lets Issy go as Marlene finishes up. Once the cream had dried, she wrapped clean bandages around Issy's waist before shifting her towards the end of the bed but still has enough room to support her wrist. With a smirk sliding onto his face, Eric realised that there was now more room for him on the bed. "There! Pull the cord if you need anything. I'll see you tomorrow." Marlene leaves soon after.

Eric slipped his boots off again and climbed onto the bed. He sighed into her hair as Issy settled against him, thinking about the day so far. He had heard of the bad days that got but Eric didn't think it was to that extreme. While Eric was appreciating the affection that Issy was giving him, it was different today. She was clingy and grabby, a side of her that Eric's never seen before. He doesn't mind it but there's a small part of him that feels uncomfortable because it kind of feels like he's taking advantage over the fact that Issy can't remember where exactly their relationship is at. Eric's flattered that she remembers him but that's not the point… Issy doesn't remember how they got to this point or the hardships they went through. Eric frowns, lost in thought, but even then he doesn't move away from Issy.