Edit: a minor detail added for the sake of fitting a later omake
In today's omake, we see the debut of some figures that some have been requesting for a while.
Not gonna lie, this is filth. Absolute, pure, filth. The sort of filth people turn to Slaanesh to get. The sort of filth Ruby confiscates from Blake (and doesn't return until she is done with it). But to be fair, Blake's filth is probably better written.
And a reminder: I'm working (sporadically) on a Christmas/Sanguinala special. Any help would be appreciated.
Omake 3 - Awaken, my cardinals!
After the events in Forever Fall, team CRDL gets a visit from some rather fabulous people.
"Auw."
"That bitch."
"Why did she have to use her riding crop?"
"Hey Cardin, why didn't you just tell Goodbitch about Arc's fake transcripts? That would have gotten us off the hook."
"Shut up! Do you think I hadn't thought of that? Had I done that, Arc would have come after me for blood."
"Wuss."
"Fack off! Now shut you traps and get tree sappin'. Because of Arc we still have to collect that stupid sap."
"I still think you should have thrown the sap yourself." said Sky Lark to no one in particular.
"Nobody cares, now start collecting before I knock your teeth out!"
*Groan*
"Fine, but what are we gonna do about Arc? We ain't gonna let this slide, right? We gotta get back at him."
*Scoff*
"Of course we are."
"Oh-ho-ho! If you think we are going to let that happen, then you are in for the fight of your lives."
"Huh? Who said that? Show yourselves!" shouted Cardin and looked around.
"If you insist." said the very aroused voice.
"Cardin! Over there!" shouted Russel and pointed at a figure in the wood. And what a figure! Building muscles covered his body, only restrained by perfectly tanned, oiled skin. He was dressed in nothing but a loincloth and a strange helmet.
"Oh, are you gonna fight us if we go after Arc?"
"That's right!"
"Ha! I'll believe that when it happens. Okay guys, show this loser who is boss."
"Ho-ho-ho-ho! Very well, if you little boys want a fight then we will give you one. Now, reveal yourselves MY BROTHERS!"
*Ayayayayaaa!*
Two more figures, just as ripped as the first, burst forth from the tree crowns and landed around CRDL while doing the most fabulous poses team CRDLs had ever seen.
"Would you look at that? Some unfashionable dregs running around planning to harass our lord's little angel at school." said one of the figures.
"You done goofed, shitboots!"
"What makes you lunatics think you're allowed to do this?" asked the first figure.
None of CRDL answered. They stared at the naked, oiled and absolutely fabulous bulging muscles around them.
Was this real? Were they on drugs, or had Goodwitch hit them so hard that they were in delusional comas?
"Hey Cardin?"
"What, Russel?"
"We're surrounded by a bunch of half-naked men! It's like a ruddy ocean of bare nipples and bulging muscles. It's making me moist."
Cardin was silent for a moment, shuddering as he was trying to comprehend and suppress what his teammate had just said. The rest of his teammates were looking mighty queer as well it seemed.
"Shut up Russel. I really didn't need to hear that. Now focus! Who are you? Are you with Arc?"
"My~es, I suppose we are. Indirectly." said one of the newcomers.
"Well, that's all I need to know. Guys, take them down!"
"Very well, my brothers! Let us show these boys how one TRULY DOES DOWN!"
*Ayayayaa*
With unbelievable agility, the strangers leaped at the huntsmen in training, knocking them down. Only Cardin didn't fall completely on his ass. "Arc sends nude me after me?!" he roared at the figures, already moving again. "Come at me you bastards!"
"Oh my!" said one of the attackers, much too aroused for Cardin's liking. "Well, I just finished but if you give me a minute-"
"Not what I meant, you damn-
Cardin did not have time to finish before a great tree was coming down towards him and the rest of his team by one of the attackers and then pressed down by the other two.
In the land of darkness
Salem sat in her throne room, staring into the sphere of a Seer, linked to another in Vale. She had felt something, something that she had not felt in a long time. Something had showed up on Remnant, curiously close to Beacon. She would be a fool to not try to figure out what it was.
What she saw through the Seer was nothing like what she had suspected. It was a surprise. But of the good sort. She leaned back in her throne and kept watching the scene as it played out and in her mind she stripped these glorious forms of what little clothing they had on.
With a gesture she sealed the door, preventing anyone from entering. Salem was going to have some quality alone-time.
Beacon Academy, Goodwitch's office
Alarms called out and Glynda Goodwitch rushed to her office to see what was going on. Ozpin would not lift a finger, he was busy "headmastering".
With a few clicks she brought up the camera feed from the forest onto her screen. She had half expected that it would just be CRDL doing something stupid again. She was half right. CRDL was involved, but they were not alone.
Glynda carefully adjusted the cameras to focus on the strangers, trying to figure out who and what they were. And also to figure out if they had six- or eight packs on their stomachs. The sight if these perfectly muscled and oiled up men beating up CRDL stirred up something in her. Something naughty. On one hand, she maybe should have intervened and stopped what was going on. On the other hand, the boys could probably do with some more punishment. And things were getting go~od!
Making sure that her door was closed, Glynda opened a cabinet and picked up a well maintained jackhammer. "Hello Mr. Pounding, my old friend. I've come to play once again." she said in a playful voice.
Forever Fall
Spitting out a mouth full of leaves Cardin forced himself up to his feet, only to find the attackers waiting for them. His teammates got up as well, having been pinned under the tree trunk alongside him. But this encounter had stirred up something in them. But Cardin sincerely hoped that it was the concussion talking when Russel decided to speak again.
"Hey Cardin We're surrounded again. Let's finish them off while they are still hot."
"Dammit Russel! You get back into the closet and fight or I swear to Velvet's sweet faunus booty that I'll end you!"
"Oh, like you got room to talk!"
"What was that, Lark!?"
"We all know you're gay. No need to pretend otherwise."
"Wha- I-I-I'm not gay! I'm straight!"
"Dude, it's the century of the fruit bat, it's okay to be gay."
"Dammit! Not you too Dove! i 'm telling you, I'm not gay! I am straight! The straightest!"
"Boy, don't embarrass yourself." said one of the naked figured. "Take it from somebody who knows. It's pretty clear that you're gay. I mean, you are so deep into the closet that you missed the turn to Narnialum III."
"Shut up!" shouted Cardin and swung his mace but it was caught and yanked out of his hand by strong and steady hands.
"Hey! That's mine!"
"Stand him up and bend him over." said the first of the half-naked strangers. Cardin tried to resist, but in the firm hold of his attackers his resistance was pointless. And his resistance only seemed to arouse them further. He looked to his team for help but noticed needles sticking out of them. They were on a completely different planet right now.
"Now listen here boy, this is what's going to happen. You're going to promise us to not cause anymore problems for our gloo~oorious overlord's golden boy."
"And if I don't?"
"Mwu-hu-hu-huh! Pull down his pants." The two others obeyed and Cardin felt the wind on the skin on his legs and his buttocks.
"Wha-wha-what!?" Cardin stammered, feeling unsafe as the one holding his mace walked around him, lowering the weapon to the level of his nether regions.
"Here is a little something to help you remember to stay obedient."
*aroused snickers*
"Darn it! My hands are too slippery. There is no friction!"
Bent over as he was, Cardin could see his mace fall to the ground. He started to realize what the strangers were about to do to him. He clenched. He clenched hard.
"Perhaps you used a bit too much body-oil?" asked another of the strangers.
"Nonsense! There is no such thing as too much body-oil." said the third one. "Especially not on Thu~ursdays!"
*More aroused snickering*
"Hold on, I think I have a dry spot between my thighs."
Salem leaned closer to the Seer. Oh, this was getting so good. One of the men had just placed the mace between his legs and held it there, steady and firm, by flexing his muscles.
The hunk adjusted, getting the angle and height just right. Then he trusted.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!"
The scream coming from Forever Fall masked the noises Glynda made as she finished up with Mr. Pound. Dust she had needed that. Looking into the monitor, she noticed that the strangers were done as well, having left Cardin face down on the ground and the shaft of his mace pointing op to the sky.
'Face down and another man beating your ass! Why I would have forgotten it was Friday otherwise, Winchester.' she thought to herself with a smirk.
Haven Academy, Mistral
"Neptune, fetch the protein!"
"Sun, what is it? You been acting weird all day."
"My abs-sense is tingling, Nep! We must train!"
"But why?"
"There is someone out there, challenging the supremacy of my abs!"
"Sun, I think you've lost your mind?"
"Neptune, I'm giving you a direct bloody order! Now Fetch! The! Protein!"
Neptune ran out of the cafeteria to find the desired product as Sun jumped up on the table, tore off his shirt completely, displaying his own physique in defiance to the unseen challengers, much to the delight of many ladies around him.
"Well, that was fun."
"My~es. I certainly hope we'll get to do it again sometime."
"Indeed. Part of me hopes that our new 'friend' misbehaves again sometime."
"But for now, it's time for us to head back to our glorious overlord in the Imperial palace."
"How do you think we'll get back there? Does Kitten and Magnus even know that we're done here by now?"
As if on cue, a swirling portal opened up before them. "Well, ain't that convenient?"
"Don't you think it looks a bit… off?"
"Meh, all warp gates look the same to me. Let's go, brothers!"
Salem waited. The unneeded chairs had been thrown out and on the great table she had hastily erected a few poles that reached all the way to the sealing. Booze, treats and other "party favors" were spread out across the room. And extra body oil. Running out of body oil just would not do!
After a short while the three figures stepped out of the portal, taking in the scene.
"Well, this is not what I had expected." said one of them.
"But do you mind?" asked Salem in a sultry voice, rich in her needy desires, as she slipped a couple of bills into the loin cloth of one of the beefy hunks.
The strangers looked at each other and gave a quick nod. For them it was time to party.
For Salem, it was time to make it rain.
The next day. Beacon Academy
"Um guys? Is it just me or is Cardin walking kinda funny today?" asked Nora with her mouth full of pancakes. "And acting weird?"
Indeed, the bully had been throwing terrified glances at Arc and his team all day. He had almost jumped out the window when someone mentioned that they had used too much weapon oil for their guns.
"I guess he is. Goodwitch really must have given him an ass-beating yesterday." said Jaune.
"Speaking of Goodwitch, does she seem to be in a good mood today?" asked Ren, nodding to the usually strict deputy who was now ignoring several kinds of improper conduct.
"Well, I think it's good that he has finally stopped bothering us." said Pyrrha and turned back to her meal.
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Okay, so I'm going to admit something about this omake. This is how I originally intended to get CRDL to obey Jaune in the actual story. It was during a time when I still hadn't decided if I was to incorporate TTS or not, or if I did: to what extent. Needless to say, the story would have taken quite a different turn had I written it along these lines.
The bits with Salem and Glynda: Salem has probably not had 'male company' for a few eons or so. And as for Glynda... the woman walk around with a riding crop 24/7. Maybe it's an attempt to make the male students focus on her in class? Who knows?
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go cleanse myself of this filth. Hopefully the ordinary flamer will suffice. The heavy flamer is so cumbersome.