So, I'm back. I'm not dead. I've just been off my game for... a long ass while. I've been watching season 7 of RWBY, trying to learn more of Atlas and get ideas on how to write for that kingdom. Hopefully, the final episode of this season will give me what I need to write without shooting myself in the effin' foot. Kinda like I did with Jaune's family. I had them all written out and planned and then POW! We were given Saphron Arc!
Also, been considering making a "RWBY-cast reacts to" series 8not a priority, but it was that kind of random idea that gave us prim-Arc, so who knows?). It seems to be the trend these days. And some of them are actually quite good. Who knew, right? Sure, there are some that are just... less good or have a severe case of ass-pull. I would probably try to make mine non-Jaune-centric. I like the guy, and I understand why he is used for it so often, but enough is enough.
A few words about the season (season 7) so far:
- Jaune's hair: Prim-Arc Jaune will not get the banana-hair. I do not hate it. Heck, I don't even dislike it. But I really didn't think that it was Jaune's style at first, but then I remembered "Hey, it's just hair. I grows back."
- Everyone is being an idiot: RWBY and friends were withholding important intel from an trusted ally. Ironwood loses his marbles at the first sign of actual trouble or a setback. I could go on, but don't feel like it right now. Too angry. Maybe I will feel better after a few weeks or so. For now, I'm angry at the whole cast.
- The really thirsty moms: Pyrrha, get your shotgun. Keep these hussies off your man. Ask Nora for instructions if you need them.
-The Ace Ops: I fear that I am going to have to kill a few off them. Might make a poll on it later.
Is Prim-Arc getting back to its original (insane) update schedule?
- Nah. Probably not. it took me months to go through seasons 1-3 and write that. and then I released everything very quickly. there is a chance that will repeat again. But hey, I'm out off my funk (well, getting out of it) and will begin writing again soon. I have some ideas for the crap-storm that is to hit Mistral and then some ideas for Atlas itself.
But now, onto the heresy/omake.
Re-awaken! My cardinals!
- The grand heresy continues.
And content warning (cuz I agreed to put it in for someone): no sodomy in this one. Public indecency, but not in too much detail.
This will be the end of this bit of heresy. It's not up to snuff if you ask me, but I had to get it over with so that I culd move on to something else.
Last time on Prim-Arc: Omakes:
*Ayayayayaaa!*
Team CRDL were confronted about their attempts to blackmail Jaune Arc by a trio of half-naked, oil-covered, post-human strippers.
Beaten and bruised, Cardin's teammates could only watch as their team leader was sodomized with his own maze… that was suspended between the muscular thighs of one of the mysterious assailants.
Sun Wukong, leader of team SSSN, sensed the presence of this mysterious trio and in response to their muscles intrusion into his muscles' domain, began to train.
And with Cardin beaten, humiliated and scared into submission, the oiled-up trio made ready to depart but they were intercepted by Salem, who brought them to her castle to have some… fun.
But what will happen now, months later?
Will Cardin still remember his place? Does his ass still feel the butt-hurt layed down on it?
Has Sun's training paid off or is he still lacking?
Did Salem have enough fun, or was she left begging for more?
And will Goodwitch get a piece of the action?
Find out on today's chapter of Prim-Arc: Omake!
(Que Dragon Ball Z-opening theme)
"For the Emperor! For Sanguinius!" shouted the armor-clad warriors as they charged into the grimm horde with great zeal and even greater fury.
That left CRDL, CFVY and SSSN alone to watch the landing area along with Port and Oobleck. They all watched as the horde of grimm were pushed away, and how at the top of the now ruined tower, flames danced in unnatural streams. Qrow Branwen could be seen running on the rooftops of Beacon, carrying what looked like an unmoving Pyrrha and an unconscious Ruby.
All in all, things were looking up for the Beaconers.
Right until they saw Jaune's bloody body slide down a roof, broken wing and all. The warriors kicked into overdrive and if one thought that they were angry before… Well, that was nothing compared to how they were now.
The aircraft set down by the defenders at the landing area. Already had Pyrrha and Ruby been brought to them, the former on death's door and the latter unconscious. Pyrrha had had a piece of glass stuck in her chest and… well truth be told, no one really knew what had happened and the only one who might know, Qrow, refused to talk.
The doors opened and Jaune was carried out of the aircraft, bloodied, unconscious, wing broken and his flesh peppered with the same shards as Pyrrha had been. It looked as if he was going to die.
No matter how the warriors medic tried to mend his broken body, nothing seemed to work.
Some cried, some were quiet, some blamed themselves, some worried how they would explain this to Pyrrha once she woke up.
"Hey!" shouted Velvet and pointed to a spot a bit away from everyone else. "Something is happening!"
Where Velvet pointed, a dark and swirling vortex was forming. Lightning of unnatural hues crackled at the edges as it grew so big that even one of the newly arrived warriors could be swallowed by it.
The ones clad in armor brazed themselves and readied their weapons at the vortex.
"Master." said Sun to Peter Port, his abs-sense tingling at the approach of this familiar presence approaching. "I'm sensing several buff guys headed towards us."
"Several buff guys?!" asked Cardin, his face growing pale.
Port nodded in agreement to his apprentice's statement. He could feel them getting closer. "Yes, my apprentice. There are three of them." continued Port, his senses getting more accurate as whoever was approaching was getting closer.
"THREE OF THEM?!" Cardin was now shitting bricks, his sphincter clenching at the sheer memory of those three, in the forest...
"And they are all incredibly flamboyant!"
"OH DUST, IT'S THEM! THEY ARE COMING FOR ME!"
"What are you talking about?" asked a very confused Coco. Who is coming?"
*Ayayayayayaaaa~*
Three figures popped out of the vortex and Oh myyyyy~!
"They. They are coming." said Cardin as he looked like he was about to turn coal into diamonds with his sphincter, ready to run like a roided bitch at a moments notice. Everyone stood in shock and awe and stared at the sight in front of them. And what a sight it was.
"Bun-Bun, pictures! Now!" said Coco and nudged her teammate while also digging her own scroll out of her pocket for much the same reason.
"Way ahead of you." said Velvet and started to shoot, any and all shame and decency thrown out the metaphorical window.
Well, almost everyone was staring. Team SSSN did not stare. They glared like apex predators that had come across an intruder on their territory. Or perhaps they were having a bad case of muscle-envy. Either way, a bunch of muscles had just showed up, gotten all of the attention and SSSN did not care for the competition.
"Hmm-hmm-hmmm! Remnant! It's good to be back!" said one of the figures. "So many good memories."
*Sniff* *Sniff*
"Is somebody having a cook-out?" asked the second, obviously smelling the burning flesh of some poor sod that got caught in one of the many fires currently raging around Beacon.
"Weird flex, but okay. Hey, isn't that the Emperor's boys over there? Eh, are wings supposed to bend… twist that way?" interjected the third. "Somebody should really do something bout that. Kitten, see what you did! You made us come here too late to help."
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" shouted a fourth voice from the vortex. Out stepped a figure of the same stature as the previous three, but this one was clad in a golden set of masterfully crafted armor. "We are late because of you insisted on lubing up before setting off! Now Lord Sanguinius is wounded and out Lord is gonna get mad at us! Again!"
"Come now Little Kitten, don't be like tha-"
"No! Shut up! Just go- and- and deal with those rip-off deamons of whatever!"
"Oh, we shall Kitten, but…" the figured snapped his head around towards Cardin like he was a seeker missile having found its target "...first we must fiercely slap some ass for my hand is fiercely craving some bullyin' misbehavin'! Mhehehehehehehehehehehe!"
"You won't take me alive!" shouted Cardin and with remarkable speed, ran into Beacon despite the fire, the grimm and terrorists currently infesting it.
"So do we go after him now or do we let him think that he actually has a chance to get awa-"
"THAT'S IT! I'M TIRED OF BEING IGNORED!" shouted Sun all of a sudden and began to flex. Sage and Scarlet tossed off their clothes and began to flex alongside their leader. Neptune looked like he just wanted to disappear and not get caught up in what his teammates were doing.
"YES! Flex, my apprentices! Show them the art of flexing that has been passed down the Port family for generations!" shouted Port in encouragement.
"Should we do something about that?" asked a fifth voice from the vortex as a red giant of a man stepped out of it as it finally closed.
"No. At least this way they won't be in our way." said the one called "Kitten" and proceeded to walk ahead towards the wounded, the giant tagging along, scanning everything with his single eye. No one cared to get in the even the earlier arrivals of armored warriors. Said warriors back down and hailed the one in gold armor. The mortals caught the word 'Custodian' but did not understand its meaning. They were all a lot more curious about the red giant.
"Oh shit, little brother, you look like crap. Oh, and do you mind if I call you little brother? What with you being all small and all?"
"Magnus." said Kitten in a low voice.
"What?! Just look at him! He is all mortal sized and all. Even Alpahrius was taller than this."
"Magnus! He! Is! Dying! Again! HURRY UP AND FIX HIM!"
"Yeah, yeah. I'll get right on that."
"Wait!" shouted Nora, wide-eyed, and limped closer. "You can fix him?"
The giant rolled his one eye and snapped his fingers. "Watch."
Jaune screamed as the shards of dust and glass were extracted from his body and his wings were mended… and he was made conscious enough to feel what was happening. Pleasant, it was not. After a few minutes or so the screaming stopped, leaving Jaune bewildered as to what had just happened.
With a shaky hand Jaune reached up to where he had been stabbed. "Urg… what happened?" he looked up. "A custodian?"
"Yes. Captain-General of the Adeptus Custodes, at your service, my lord. Now I know this next bit is gonna freak you out a little but-"
"MAGNUS!"
"Oh hey, you do remember me."
"You betrayed us, you one-eyed, lard-armed, book-worming..."
Salem shot up from her throne in a burst of excitement. She had been sitting around waiting for an update from Cinder on the situation in Vale. But now, now Salem was feeling something. A certain something that she had only ever felt once.
"They're back."
"My Goddess?" asked Tyrian, confused by his mistress' sudden change in demeanor.
"Leave me, Tyrian. And shut the door and let the others know that I am not to be disturbed! I'll be… entertaining quests."
"Should I get the cleaning supplies prepared? If it turns out like last time-"
"Yes. Yes. Yes. You do that. Now go!"
"Fuck my life. Last time we ran out of bleach trying to get the stains out." muttered Tyrian as he took his leave.
Salem paid the mad man no mind and instead began working her magic. Oh, this was going to be fun.
The vortex opened up and the oily custodes turned around. "Well, well, well. Looks like our old acquaintance wants to meet up. What do you say, brothers?"
"Well, we are running low on body oil at the palace."
"Well, that settles it. Come on, sweet cheeks. We're going." said the third and gestured to SSS_ to follow.
"Where are we going?" asked Sun.
"Muhuhuhu! Initiation." said the warrior and stepped through the portal. SSS_ looked at each other, nodded and followed. Whatever these guys used to get their muscles, the boys wanted in on it.
"I WILL NOT BE DENIED!" shouted a flustered Goodwitch, running at full speed towards the portal.
"Professor Goodwitch, what are you-" Velvet tried to ask but before she even finished her question, the professor had jumped into the portal after the custodians and team SSS_. (Neptune was standing a bit away from them, having donned a fake nose, fake glasses and a fake beard to conceal his identity and any affiliation he might have with the flexing buffons that were his teammates).
"To keep our lads safe from whatever those fiends are planning." said Port. "Oh, where did I go wrong with my teachings? Did I not tell them not to get into strange places with strange people?"
*sob*
"Sure, let's go with that." said Coco, having a much better idea of what Goodwitch was up to. Call it womanly intuition. "Come on Bun-Bun, we got pictures to develop. And sell for a mint!"
The next day. Beacon Academy
"So let me get this straight: Father got Magnus' soul back."
"That is correct, Lord."
"But he is still a deamon, or something?"
"I'm still here, you know. It's rude to talk about people tis way when they are around." Magnus tried to interject, but he was ignored by Jaune and the Captain-General.
"That is correct, Lord."
Jaune took a deep breath, sighed and nodded. "Right. Anyhow, do we have word on team SSS_ yet?"
"We have found the one called Neptune, but we still have no clue where his teammates are."
"What about Goodwitch?"
"Same as SSS_, ny lord. We just don't know."
Another sigh. "Right, what about CRDL?"
"The ones called Russel, Dove and Sky have all been admitted to a hospital ward."
"How the feck did that happen?"
"Allegedly, they were trying to buy picts from Scarlatina, but got into a disagreement on the price. Adel decided to rough them up when then refused to pay up."
"And these pictures, they were…?"
"Of my battle-brothers and SSS_ flexing halfnaked, yes."
"Rrrrriiight. And what of Cardin? Is he in the hospital as well?"
"No, my lord. We found him hiding from my brothers in a closet in the schola. We had to drag him out of it."
"HA! Getting him out of the closet!" laughed Nora.
*sigh*
"Right, well that only leaves us with the mystery of where SSS_, Goodwitch and your brothers are." said Jaune and turned to deal with the pile of administrative duties that had piled up on his desk overnight. "I'm sure they will be alright."
*sudden warp gate opening*
*SSS_* getting tossed out of said warp gate.
"AND STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY PALACE! I DON'T NEED MORE FUCKING STRIPPERS SPREADING FUCKING OIL OVER IT!"
*warp gate closes*
"Well that takes care of one part of our problem. But what about Goodwitch?"
"Uh, I think she stayed with that other lady for drinks." said Sun and tried to get up from the floor.
"Drinks? Other lady?"
"Yeah, they seemed to really get along once this woman started to bring up professor Ozpin and how much of a pain in her ass he is."
"You know what? No, I'm not touching that can of worms. I'm going to go to bed and sleep this entire thing over like a bad hangover. Care to join me Pyr?"
"Yes. this entire episode has just been off. Like it's not been up to snuff."
"Agreed Pyr. But we can only try to do our best to keep it from happening again."