AN: Hi, Thank you all for following and reading my story. This is my first story ever, if you have any tips on my writing feel free to put them in the reviews, I am here to learn. Also English is not my native language.
I decided to update this story once a week on Sunday. So I have enough time during the week to write a long chapter. So here is chapter 2! Let me know what you guys think!
Chapter 2: one year
It is six in the morning and Liam is starting to stir I quickly pick him up and I hope he will settle down again. That is what we normally do in the mornings on the weekend when he wakes up early. I pick him up with sleeping bag and all and place him above the covers and slide back under the covers and cuddle him. It works for an hour but then my cuddle time is over and he is starting to get hungry. We walk in to the kitchen I grab his nappy bag with formula and place him in the highchair that my mom bought. It is the weekend so we are definitely trying some solids. When I have to go to school in the morning I just feed him his bottle because I know that they will give him solids at day care anyway. I asked my mom to pick up some baby food so I open up the cabinets and see there is storage for 3 months in there. I laugh at the sight of it and I will definitely take some home so it won't go to waste. I get a little spoon and a chair and sit in front of Liam.
I see that my mother placed a new bib on the table with the text: "My grandma loves me." He looks very cute in it so a snap a picture of him. The first few spoons go into his mouth but the he starts his mess. I manage to get most of it is his mouth but there is some on the floor and on my t-shirt. There is also some on his tray and before I can stop him he splashes his hand into the food and I know I need to give him a bath. But first a bottle. I let him play with his food for a little while and heat up his bottle. Getting him out his high chair placing him in my arms and giving him his bottle.
My mother comes downstairs she offers to take over so I can have a shower and start my homework, when I tell her Liam needs a bath she doesn't back down and says she would give him one too. I look surprised, she notices it and says don't look at me like that I know how to give a baby a bath. I gave you baths when you were younger as from the mess on the floor I can see he got his mothers eating habits. My jaw hits the floor. She asks my what time I have to be at the Dandridge house. I promised Finn's mom Kathrin that I would be there at 2pm so they can have sometime with Liam before we go to the cemetery. My mother nods and sends me upstairs to have a shower so she can give Liam his bath afterwards. I walk upstairs and hop into the shower. While in the shower my mind drifts back to all the good memories I have off Finn in this house. Like when he picked me up for prom.
It was finally prom night and I was so excited to go I would never have thought that I Meredith Grey would go to prom! Till last year is was the angry girl with the pink hair went to lots of parties and came home drunk more times I could count but than in the new school year Finn had showed up he moved here from Chicago. He was placed next to me in class and he had started talking to me. First I wanted nothing to do with him but he was very persistent so first we became friends but it wasn't long before I started having feelings for him. And that is when I changed. My hair wasn't pink anymore. I wasn't angry al the time and I stopped going to all the parties. Finn changed me! And I think even before the first term was over he asked me to be his girlfriend! I was happy. Kept my grades up what made my mother very happy. And now I was looking in the mirror putting on my prom dress. I even put on some make up. Hoping that Finn would like it. My mom was in surgery all night so knew she wouldn't be home anytime soon. After I put 3 different kinds of earrings in my ears I decided that I would go for the long silver once. Finn had gotten me them for my birthday in May. I hear the doorbell ring and yell from the top of the stairs that the door is open because in know it is Finn who is at the other side of the door. I hear the door open and I run back into my room to put my shoes on. I yell to him that I will be down in a second. When I was ready I descended down the stairs I could see Finn staring at me and his jaw dropped down. When I reach him at the bottom he tells me that I look absolutely beautiful. And he pulls me in for a searing and passionate kiss. Every time he kisses me time seems to stop. After we both pull away to catch a breath I tell him he looks very handsome than he reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a beautiful corsage that he puts on my wrist. He kisses me again and tells me he loves me! Then before things go to far he tells me we need to leave or we will be late for prom. We walk outside and there is a limo parked right in front of my house and I look amazed at it. Is this how we are going to get to prom I ask dumbfound. Yes my darling he answers and we step into the limo of to prom.
I smile at the memory and than while I am still in the shower I start crying. I miss him so much! After I get me self-together. I find my comfy sweatpants and one of his sweaters. Get my laptop and I head down stairs to finish my English litt paper. I can hear Liam's giggles in the living room I walk into the room and tell my mom I am ready. Liam looks up at me when he recognises my voice and give me a smile. I cannot resist that smile and walk over to give him a kiss on his head and tell him to have fun with grandma. I tell my mother where all his stuff is and then I head into the kitchen and grab some left over pizza from the night before place my laptop on the counter and start writing. Half way trough I hear my mother and Liam coming into the kitchen he is all dressed and in one piece! My mother is telling me she is going on a walk with him and she is asking me how the stroller is working as this one is different from the one I use normally in New york as I had to have Liam safe on the train. I quickly explain her how to use the stroller. And I quickly grab Liam some snacks because he gets very grumpy when he gets hungry and his water bottle. And then they are out of the door. Sometimes I still cannot believe that my mother is actually interacting with my son. Just from the fact that I grew up alone in the care of nanny's while she was living in the hospital being a surgeon. I felt neglected by her a lot. I am happy that she is there for Liam and that she supports my financially otherwise I wouldn't be in pre med right now! I finish my English litt paper and start my chemistry homework.
When I am just about finished I hear the front door open. And I decide I am done for the day! Liam looks exhausted from playing with grandma today but I need to feed him his lunch before he goes down for his nap. I decide to give him some vanilla yoghurt and a banana. He is too tired to make a mess at the moment and he just lets me feed him. After I put him down for his nap I walk into my mothers den en look for a surgical tape to look for something interesting. I look at all the names on the tapes and then my eye falls on the whipple. I walk back to the living room and put the tape in. As I am looking fascinated at the pancreas on the screen I don't hear my mother come in. she sits down next to me and she start talking to me. "I see you still have the obsession to watch my surgical tapes." She says. I mumble a yes to her not wanting to take my eyes of the screen. You should take some home with you and then I will take some new one's with me when I come visit you next month. I smile at her and thank her. After the tape is done I look at the clock and see it is time to get Liam and myself ready to visit his other grandparents. I change him into his my daddy is a hero t-shirt.
The Dandridge house is just two block over so I decide to walk there. I walk past the florist on the way and buy two roses one for Liam and one for me. As I walk in to his street I start to feel nervous I haven't seen them much since the accident. Of course they where there when Liam was born and we call a lot but they don't visit a lot. I might be hard for them. But I am sad for Liam because this is the only connection he has to his daddy. And I want him to know them. I just don't have the time to visit with my schedule.
As I walk up to the porch the door is already opening and I see Kathrin walking to me giving me a big hug. Followed by Matt. Matt helps me getting the stroller on the porch and we go inside. Liam is a bit hesitant with the two new people he hasn't seen that much I try placing him in Kathrin's lap but doesn't want it and is reaching out for me. It breaks my hart and it takes a lot of strength to not pick him up and comfort him. Instead I decide to sit next to Kathrin and hold his hand. He calms down a little and looks up at me with curious eyes. I tell him it is oke and that this is his grandma Kathrin. Out of the corner of my eyes I can she Kathrin crying. I look to Matt he also has tears in his eyes. He chokes out he looks so much like him.
As I look around the room I can see photos of Finn. Photos of me and Finn and then my eyes are falling on the row of photos from Liam. I had sent them photo's every month but I didn't know what they did with them. The first photo was a photo of Liam and me in the hospital when I gave birth. I was looking down at him with a big smile! I stand up wanting to look closer at the picture suspecting Liam is going to scream but he didn't. I give Kathrin some toys to play with him and I walk over to the pictures. I stop at the one of Finn and me from two weeks before the accident. I just started to show and we where sitting on the porch. He was sitting behind me and hugging my belly with his hands I was smiling brightly as he kissed my neck. As I turn around I smile at the sight before me. Matt and Kathrin are sitting on the floor with Liam laying on his back smiling at both of his grandparents and kicking his legs in delight.
I walk into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and let them have their time together. As I put the kettle on I zone out. I don't hear Matt come in and he startles me. Matt asks me how I am doing. I am hanging in there I answer. It is not easy to raise a baby on my own going to pre med and having a side job and tell him I am exhausted. Matt smiles at me and says: "We will be there to help you next month." He had been looking at jobs in New York since Liam was born and last month he heard that he got a job and they will be moving next month. Liam is the only thing we have left of Finn and we want to be part of his live not just over the phone or when we both have time to come visit you. We want to be there for him and help you out a little bit. All I can do is walking to him and giving him a big hug while crying. Telling him that it means the world to me! Liam is going to have all his grandparents in his live and I am so great full for that.
Two hours later we piled everybody in the car I secured the maxicosi in the seatbelt and we made the drive to the cemetery. When we reach his grave I place the to roses on the ground and I reach for the nappy bag for the picture of Liam I took last week with is my daddy loves me t-shirt and place it in front of the headstone. I step back grabbing Liam out of the stroller needing him close and I start talking to Finn introducing him to Liam and saying that I miss him very much apologising of not visiting and than I ramble about my life in New york. Afterwards I start crying. Matt and Kathrin are talking to Finn now and my mind wanders back to his burial last year.
It was a week after the accident, I had been crying in my bed the whole week not wanting to eat and drink but my mother had forced me every time. Threating me that if I didn't eat and drink she would take me to the hospital. And that was the last place I wanted to be. Now it was a Friday morning my alarm clock was going off and I knew I had to get myself dressed into the black dress. After a light breakfast my mom drove my to the church where his service was being held. I saw a lot of my classmates not everybody had gone away to college yet. I was leaving on Monday. They all give me sympathetic looks and I try to hold myself together but when I look up down the aisle and see his picture and a casket I start crying again. I can feel some strong arms around me and I turn around to sob in Matt's shirt. I hadn't seen them since the hospital. He leads me to one of the chairs in front of the church and sits me down. The service starts and there are a lot of speeches. Finn had touched so many hearts in his short time that he had been in Boston. It started with the principal and then a lot of his friends wanted to speak and afterwards it was my turn. I had written a speech on a piece of paper but I couldn't read it anymore my tears were too watery so I just said that I loved him and that is was going to miss him. I thought about the baby and I just asked him how I was going to do this without him. After the service we drove behind Finn to the cemetery. His friends were carrying from the car to his burial place. Everybody was carrying a rose to throw on his casket before it was send into the ground. And all I could do was cry.
I was pulled back to earth when Liam started to wriggle in my arms I looked at my watch and saw that is was time to eat. So I told Matt and Kathrin and we went to Finn's favourite restaurant. We had a good dinner and a good talk after some food and his bottle Liam fell asleep. When they drop me at my mother's house and I promise to come visit as soon as they move to New York! I walk inside the dark house of course my mom was not home but there was a note on the kitchen counter: "I have been pulled into an emergency surgery, see you tomorrow morning."
I head upstairs and go into my room after putting Liam down I lay on my bed staring to the sealing I am exhausted from the day. I turn to my left and look at picture on my nightstand and the only thing I can say is one year before my eyes fall shut.