Chapter 10 Facing my mother

Izzie's POV

I wake up from the sound of a crying baby, for a moment I don't know where I am. I am in an unfamiliar bed and then I remember. I was watching Liam so Meredith could go out with Derek. Liam had been quiet the whole night and all I did was watching movies. Liam was awake and probably hungry. I quickly put some clothes on and I turn the monitor off and walk over to his room I open the door and walk inside. "Oh Liam it smells disgusting in here! Do you have a dirty nappy?" I say trying not to gag. The smell gets stronger the closer I come to Liam. Liam just looks at me but he doesn't stop crying he keeps looking around for Meredith. "Sorry buddy mommy is not home yet." I say to him and pick him up and walk over to the changing table. Pulling out a clean nappy and the wipes. I take off his jammies and open his nappy. "Jeez Liam you stink." I say while wiping him clean. I pull a face at him and he starts to giggle. Placing the clean nappy under his bottom it is a bit hard because he starts to kick his feet. I manage to get him dressed and than it is time for breakfast. I walk to the kitchen with Liam on my arm and I see a note on the counter:

Hi Iz,

Thanks again for watching my little trooper.

I hope he wasn't a pain in the butt last night?

I really was going to come home tonight but apparently things went better than I could imagine!

So you can just give Liam some cereal, just put it on his tray he will eat it. Also give him a peace of banana but be careful he likes to make a mess with those.

And please give him a bottle of milk.

I prepped one for you in the fridge you just have to warm it up.

I will be home as soon as I can.

Give Liam a kiss from me!

Thanks, you are the best!

Mer.

I smile while I read it. And I sit Liam down in his high chair. And pull out his cereal and put it on his tray as soon as there is some on there he reaches out for it and starts to eat. I giggle while trying to putt on a bib because Liam is just shoving the cereal in his mouth. Getting the prepped bottle out of the fridge and putting it in the warmer and press the start button. Reaching for a bowl to get some cereal for my self I pour some milk over it. Reach for the banana and sit down next to Liam at the table. As soon as I sit down Liam is eying the banana. He starts to point at it and says. "di na di na" "Do you want the banana?" I ask and again he says "Di na" I open up the banana and break off a little peace and put it on his tray. He happily shoves it in his mouth just like his cereal. And he asks for another piece. I give it piece by piece so he cannot make a mess. And I eat my cereal.

When he is finished I can hear the little beep of the bottle warmer. I grab the bottle. Grab Liam out of the high chair and walk over to the couch and feed him his bottle. I can see his eyes searching for Meredith. "Don't worry buddy, mommy is coming home." He finishes his bottle and he starts to wiggle in my arms. I put him down on the floor and I think he starts to crawl over to his toys but instead he crawls back towards the bedrooms. I didn't close the baby gate yet so he crawls over it and goes on. I am just curious where he is going. He crawls all the way to Meredith's bedroom, he crawls around the bed but Meredith is nowhere to be found. Than he sits up and starts to cry. I scoop him of the floor and try to calm him down but it is not working.

I walk back into the living room and I hear the front door open. "Look Liam, Mommy is home." He looks in the direction of the door still tears streaming down his face. And than I hear a voice say: "Meredith I am here." That is not Meredith I think! And than Ellis is in front of me she is looking from me to a crying Liam. "Your are not Meredith. Who are you?" She says in a cold voice. "Hi I am Izzie, nice to meet you doctor Grey." I say while walking closer to her.

Liam quiets down with the sight of his grandmother and reaches out for her and she takes him into her arms. "What are you doing here? Where is Meredith?" she asks. "I am watching Liam, Meredith had a night out." I say and I look at Ellis. It was the wrong thing to say. "She has a night out!" she screams, I can see Liam flinch at the outburst. "You have got to be kidding me. I pay for all here expenses and she is not even here when I visit she leaves her baby and has a night out doing god knows what!" she screams. Liam starts to cry again. Ellis looks at Liam and rubs his back trying to sooth him and talking to him in a much nicer voice, "Sorry sweetheart, it is all right grandma is just a tat angry at mommy." Than she turns her attention back to me. "You can go, I have everything under control here." I know better than to cross Ellis Grey if the stories of Meredith are true. So I just turn around to grab my bag and wave bye to Liam and I walk out the door. As soon as I am out of the door I call Meredith. After the call I decide to wait for her outside.

Meredith's POV

I almost run past him on my way out of the door but he grabs me and pulls me close for a kiss. 'Thanks for yesterday. I will call you later. Bye" I say giving him a quick peck on the lips and than I am out the door.

When I come outside I come to the realisation that I have no idea where I am and where the nearest subway is. I pull out my phone and have a quick look in Google maps. Great the subway is just a block away. And I walk as quick as I can on my heels. When I sit down in the subway I feel like crying. How did I forget that my mother was coming from Boston this weekend? She is going to kill me! Why didn't I just go home! But than I think of Derek and how nice it was to fall asleep in his arms. And I start to smile. I hear my phone ringing and I look at the caller ID and see it is my mother I decide to ignore it I will talk to here when I get home. And I think again how can I be so stupid. I get of the subway and I drag myself to my apartment.

As I turn the corner I can see Izzie sitting outside on the steps. "I am so sorry Iz, I completely forgot that is was coming today" I say to her when I reach her. She looks up and says. "No worries, just to warn you she is not very happy with you at the moment." Izzie says. "I can imagine." I say with a sigh. "Thanks again Izzie." I say while pulling her into a hug. "No problem I want to know all about you date with mcdreamy later. Bye Mer good luck with your mother." She says and walks away.

I look up at the building and go inside. In front of my front door I take a few deep big breathes before I open up the door and say. "Hi Mom, I am home." And all I hear is: "Meredith Elizabeth Grey get in here right know!" in a very cold voice and I flinch and think. Oh oh I am in trouble old Ellis is back. This was the tone she used all the time before I was pregnant and in trouble. I haven't missed it one bit. I pull Derek's sweater over my head. My mother doesn't need to see that and walk into the living room.

Liam is half way down to the living room when I step into the room and I crouch down and say: "Hi Liam, I missed you come here give mommy a kiss." I am trying to ignore the icy look from my mother and scoop Liam of the floor to cuddle him giving him kisses al over his body and he starts to giggle. When he is done he wants to be putt down on the floor again and I know I lost my cover. As he crawls back to his toys I try to change the subject because I know my mother wants to talk about where I was. "Did you know he started crawling this week?" "Cut the crap Meredith you told me that over the phone last time we called." My mother says with a very stern look on her face she is tapping one foot on the floor. She is waiting for my answer.

"Uhmmm." I start saying. My mother cuts me off. "Surgeons don't say uhm Meredith if you want to become one start acting like one." She says. "Oh you mean cold and with no heart like you?" I ask her I was getting pissed. "That is uncalled for Meredith!" she almost screams in anger. I can see Liam looking up from his toys when my mother raises her voice. I can almost see the tears in his eyes. "Mom please don't shout in front of Liam you are scaring him." I say. "Oh know you care about your son, but yesterday you left him in some teenagers hands and went out doing god knows what. I thought you learnt from your mistakes." She replies and that is when I was getting really angry with her I was seeing red. "Don't tell me I don't care about my son. I left him with a very good friend that Liam knows. And I trust her with him. And I deserved a night out because all I have been doing for the last year is caring for Liam. I didn't have any time for myself. And Finn was definitely not a mistake." I yell.

"Well look what it let to!" My mother says pointing at Liam who was crying now. I walk over to him scoop him up and try to sooth him. "Liam was never a mistake. He was an accident because the freaking condom broke but he was never a mistake!" I yell again being furious at my mother calling him a mistake. "And if you would like to know I did not jump in to bed last night with a random guy. I had a very nice date with a very cute guy and when I told him I wasn't ready for sex he was oke with it and he just held me and we went to sleep! So I did learn from my mistake of having sex to early yes. But again Liam was not a mistake." I yell. "Now if you could excuse me I am going to change Liam's nappy and try to calm him down because all this screaming is making him scared." I say while walking down the hall way towards his room I can her my mother say before I close the door: "This conversation is not over yet Meredith." But I ignore it and walk over to the changing table. Liam keeps crying while I change his nappy. Afterward I walk over to the rocking chair and try to calm him down.

"Mommy is sorry she yelled at grandma but she was making me really angry and calling you a mistake but Liam I can promise you that you where not a mistake. It was a big shock when we found out about you, but you were never ever a mistake and mommy and daddy love you very much. Even if your daddy is not here anymore he was really excited to be your daddy." While rocking him he was starting to calm down. "Oke Liam do you want to go outside? We can go to the park." I ask him. I am wondering what my mother is doing and of she is still mad at me. I open the door and look down the hallway but she is nowhere to be seen. I walk into the living room and see her sitting on the couch. "Hi mom I was going to take Liam for a walk do you want to go with us? I say softly. I just hope she will not start screaming again. "I will go with you Meredith we still need to talk." She answers. "Mom I know we need to talk but can we please do it when Liam is asleep?" I ask while putting Liam's jacket on and placing him in the stroller. "Can you keep an eye on him while I get him something to drink and some snacks.

We take the subway to central park. I walk in silence besides my mother not sure what to say to her. Liam starts to babble to his drink bottle. I still don't understand what is going trough his head when he is babbling lots of non-existing words. Not really words just syllables. I look over to my mom and see she is just watching him. Than she starts. "When did he start to babble like that is noticed it this morning when he was playing with his toys, I knew he was making sounds but know it looks like he is telling stories." She says with a genuine smile on her face. "I think it was after he started crawling he really started to babble like that it is nice to hear him do that. It feels like I am not alone all the time. He is making noise al the time now instead of the crying that was driving me insane sometimes." I say while looking at my mother. As we reach the playground in central park I pick Liam up out of the stroller and walk over to the babyswings I place him in the basket and start pushing giggles and screams in delight.

As I keep pushing him my mother stands next to me. "Meredith are you happy?" she asks. "Yes mom I am happy. Liam and I have a good routine he is a happy baby. I am keeping up with al my schoolwork. Liam is my priority at the moment." I say hoping not to offend her. "I know Liam is your priority, and I am very proud of you that you are juggling everything but do you have time for yourself at all? You were not as happy as I saw you with Finn." She says. I am quit surprised with her admission because of her outburst this morning. "Mom." I start while giving Liam another push. "Getting time for myself is not easy but Liam is getting a little bit older and I feel better with leaving him with other people while going out to have time for myself. Matt and Kathrin are watching him every other Saturday and he stays overnight. And I pick him up on Sunday. So I get more time for myself a little. That is also why I left Liam with Izzie last night." I say.

"So you went on a date yesterday?" she asks and she seems genuine interested. "Yes I was, I met him last Saturday while going out, than we met for coffee on Monday. And we went for diner yesterday. I really like him." I tell her. "Does he know about Liam?" she asks. "I told him yesterday that I came in a package with Liam and if he didn't want that I would end it right then and there. But he said he was not going anywhere. That made me really happy." I say with a smile on my face. I see a surprised look on my mothers face. "That is very mature of him, as long as he makes you happy." She says while giving me a hug. "He does make me happy, Mom." I say. "I am sorry I yelled this morning. I just didn't want you to end up pregnant for the second time while you are still in college. I failed you in high school and I didn't want to fail you now, but I get the feeling you got it al figured out on your one." She says.

Liam is done with the swing by know and wants to get out. I lay out the plaid on the grass and set him down on it. Before I can give him some toys he starts to crawl to the edge of the plaid and wants to go on the grass. But as soon as he puts his hands on the grass he stops and turns around. "Looks like he is not a fan off the grass." I say giggling. My mother laughs as well. "At least I don't have to watch him like a hawk that he doesn't crawl away." I say relieved. "Meredith" my mother says with a serious look on her face. I look up from watching Liam. "They offered me a job as chief of general surgery when uncle Richard will take over the current chief of surgery at NYU Medical." She says. "Mom why would you leave Mass gen where you already are the chief of general, you love it there?" I ask surprised. "I don't want to miss to much of Liam's life." She says. "Mom, you are coming every month sometimes even two times a month you see a lot of him." I say trying to change her mind because I am not sure if I want her to move to New York. "I know I wasn't there for you when you grew up. But with Liam this feels like sort of a second chance." She says while looking in awe at Liam. I feel horrible about not wanting her here, but I like it that she wants to be there for him so I say: "Liam would love to have his grandma around." And then my mind goes to Derek, well that would be fun her mother working with Derek in the same hospital. I was already feeling sorry for him. "Great, I will talk to the chief tomorrow than." She says.