AN: Hey guys, I hope you are all safe with all the things around the corona virus. It is not that bad in the Netherlands. I have been working from home for a week and a half now. Streets are pretty empty but we are not on a full lockdown. Well at least I have some time to do some writing now. Keep safe everybody.
Chapter 14 George
It was Monday night and I was studying with George and Izzie in her dorm. Liam was fast asleep in his travel cot. We were studying for a big biology test that was coming up next week. There was a big box of pizza in the middle of the table and we are quizzing each other. We had a point system set up. I was winning. Derek had been quizzing me for weeks already. It was great to have a study buddy that already finished pre med. As I take a bite of my pizza I hear Izzie grunt. "How is it that you already know everything?" "Probably because she is Ellis Grey's daughter." George mumbles. "Are you jealous George?" I ask annoyed. "No." He grumbles. I turn to Izzie. "Derek has been quizzing me." I say sipping on my coke. "Figures." George says. "Seriously George, what is your problem?" I ask, I hit the table with my fist. "Yes I maybe am a little jealous at your life." George says I look confused. "George have you looked at my life recently there is nothing to be jealous about." I say. "Your life is perfect, you got good grades, living on your own outside of the dorm. Working a job that you mom found you in the hospital that is linked to the best medical school in New York. And now on top of that you find yourself a man that is by coincidence a surgical resident and just using him to get a head of everybody even more." He says with a sneer. I am angry now. "I don't life the perfect life, it is has been far from perfect. I work my ass of to get the good grades and I am not using Derek to get ahead of anybody. Do you think I enjoy working at the hospital over summer vacation and not use any of the money for myself to do anything fun. I need to earn money to provide for my son alone. Because of a stupid accident that took his father away. My mother did not find me a job at that hospital I applied for it and I got hired because I got the extra credit in my last year of high school. How dare you to imply that I am riding my mother coattails or even Derek's just to make everything better." I yell. As I finish I hear Liam let out a cry. "Now if you can excuse me, I need to check on my perfect life. Because all off the yelling woke him up." I huff and I walk over to the corner of the room. I see that Liam lost his dummy and he is looking at me. I grab it putt it back into his mouth. Running my head over the top of his head. He sucks his dummy and at the visual confirmation that I am there is enough to send him back to sleep and his eyes fall shut again.
"That was really low George." I hear Izzie say. "Maybe I am jealous, I have been trying to get her to go out with me since the start of freshman year, but she always said no. And then she meets Derek, who is 10 years older than she is, on the first night out ever. And she is head of heels for him. Why didn't she want to go out with me? George says. I take one last look at Liam to make sure that he is asleep, he turned on his side hugging his bear close, softly snoring. I walk back into the living room. "George I get that you are jealous, but were you ready to be in a relationship with a pregnant girl and later a new born. Who isn't even yours?" I say. George looks at the ground when I point that out. I go on. "That would have meant no going to parties and getting drunk, or getting to sleep in when you didn't have to go to class. What your life would have looked like is keeping op with a hormonal girlfriend, who was to tired to do anything and when the baby was born that you would need to get to class on a little than 2 hours sleep because the baby was up all night crying, trying not to fall asleep at your desk. I think you and I both know that you were not ready but first of all I wasn't ready." George looks up at me and opens his mouth trying to say something but I don't give him a change, I am on a role and need to get it out of my system. "I lost the father of my child, I had to deal with that while I was pregnant. The first time Liam kicked, he wasn't there or when I found out I was having a boy, he wasn't there. And his birth he wasn't there. At every milestone I get reminded that Finn isn't here anymore. And when I finally find my feet you don't get to be jealous that I chose another man to be happy with, because that was my choice and mine alone. You don't know how long it took me to trust Derek to meeting Liam because I was scared that he would leave and I would be alone again. So you don't get to be jealous or judge me about my choice to fix myself. And George you are one of my best friends I don't want to lose you, I love you like a brother." I finish. "I am sorry, you are right I might not have been ready but you never gave me a change to figure out if I was or not." George says. "George I know that, but this isn't only about me giving you a change, this is about what is the best for Liam because he is my first priority at the moment." I say. "And going out with a guy that is ten years older than you is right for him." George says. I look at him with wide eyes. "George, that is uncalled for." Izzie hisses. "Well definitely is then better choice to have an relationship with someone who isn't ready to have all the responsibility and I would know it would never work out in the future." I spit out. I see that it hurts George when I say that. "Right, I think it is time for me to leave." George says. "You think?" Izzie asks. "Good that safes me from kicking you out because of what you just said to Mer." Izzie says while opening the front door for him. He grabs his stuff and walks out, without saying goodbye. As soon as Izzie shut the door I let my tears go. She gives me a hug. "Do you want me to call Derek?" She asks. "No, this has been a long time coming. I knew that he was in love with me. I just hoped he would not act this way. "You don't think having a relationship with Derek is wrong, right?" I ask Izzie. "Mer, as long as you are happy it is fine with me." Izzie says. "Thank you." I say giving her a smile. "So I have a tub of ben and jerry in the freezer. Let's grab that and watch a movie."
It is Friday evening and I am giving Liam a much needed bath after his poop explosion on the way home from day care. When I opened his bodysuit it was all the way up in his neck. Throwing the bodysuit on the growing pile of laundry that has been building up since Monday the week before. I have been so busy with Liam and keeping up with schoolwork that every thing else has come to a stop. Everything is a mess. I almost don't have any clean clothes to wear. I think this was Liam's last clean bodysuit. I haven't seen Derek since Sunday morning. I spoke with him a couple of times on the phone. But at least I was finished with almost all of the homework that was given. I scrubbed him down and washed his hair. He was playing with his toys at the moment. I was thinking of calling Derek. I got out my phone dialled his number and put it on speaker. After a few rings it went to voicemail. Liam looks up from his toys when Derek's voice echoes through the bathroom. "This is Derek's voicemail, I can not answer the phone right now because I am probably in a kick ass surgery. So leave a message after the peep and I will call you back." I still giggle when I listen to his voicemail. He has a big ego. Sometimes to big for his own good. When I hear the beep I start talking. "Hi Der, this is Mer." Liam makes a noise like he is trying to say hi too. "And Liam. I am just calling to say that I miss you can you give me a call back? I hope you didn't kill your patient." I giggle. "Bye Derek." Liam makes another noise and I end the call. "You miss him too right, it is not just me." I ask Liam, but his attention is back on his toys in the bath. I watch him play for a little while when the water is getting cold I take him out of the babytub and dry him off. I dress him straight into his pyjamas. "Time for dinner buddy." I say and put him on the floor in the kitchen and I open op the fridge. "Great no grown up food." I say while looking for something to eat. "Mommy needs to do some shopping tomorrow." I walk over to the cabinets and pull out one of Liam's food cans. I put that in the microwave while I order myself some pizza with some garlic bread on the side. Placing a bottle of milk in the warmer. I see a pear lying in the fruit basket. "Well this has to go with your dinner today buddy." Picking him up from the floor placing him in the high chair. Feeding him the baby food. When I am almost done the doorbell rings. "Pizza's here." I say and go retrieve my pizza leaving Liam's bowl on his tray. When I come back Liam's bowl is upside down on the floor and he has dirty hands. I groan. Really. At least I can stop him before he smears his food into his hair. I peel the pear for him he looks at me with curious eyes. He never had a pear before, this was the first time. I had to wait till it was softened. I put it in tiny pieces on his tray. He starts to munch. I pull out the pizza and the garlic bread. I pull the crust off a few of the pieces and let it cool off. He seems to like the pear. I give him the garlic bread. He looks at it takes it in his hand. Puts it into his mouth but he spits it out immediately. "Ni Ni Ni." He babbles and pushes the other pieces of garlic bread away. "You don't like garlic bread?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Fine, that means more for mommy." I say with a smile. Liam giggles. He goes back to the pear and I eat my pizza. When I am finished, I grab the bottle from the warmer. I cuddle Liam close while he is sucking on the bottle. I know this might end soon so I am enjoying it as long as I can. A little bit of playtime before bed and a story and before I know it I am kissing him goodnight and he is drifting of to sleep.
I close is door and walk into the kitchen. I look at the disaster. Right I need to clean that up. Putting on some music. I start cleaning up the kitchen. I stand in front of the fridge making a shopping list for tomorrow. Trying to think of what I need, because when I go without one I forget half of the things I need. After that it is Laundry time. I grab my basket from my room and Liam's from the bathroom. I sneak into his room to grab the last few pieces. I start sorting out the colours and temperature. I am sitting in the middle of the living room between a big pile of clothes when I hear my phone ring, from somewhere underneath a pile of dirty washing. I retrieve it looking at the caller ID. I pick up. Put him on speaker so I can keep sorting out the laundry.
"Hi stranger." "Hi beautiful." Derek says. I snort. "You wouldn't call me beautiful if you would see me right now, I haven't showered for 2 days, no make up and I am sitting in the middle of pile of dirty laundry from about a week and a half." I say. "You will be always beautiful to me." Derek says. "Yeah right, you only say that because I gave you sex last weekend." I say. Derek chuckles. "So can we have a repeat of that this weekend?" He asks. I can hear that he has a smile on his face. "Only if you are good mister." I laugh. "But Derek I really missed you this week, and no not because of the sex." I almost whine. "I missed you too, sorry for my crazy schedule this week. I think he have been home 8 hours in total this week." Derek says I can hear he is tired. "Are you home now at least?" I ask. "I wish, I am off tomorrow at 7 am." He says and supressing a yawn. "Der, you need to sleep." I say. "No I wanted to talk to my girlfriend before I get called back to the pit again. Can I come to you after shift to sleep with you." He asks. "Derek I would love that but Der, I have a 9 month old that doesn't sleep past 8 at the latest if we are lucky. You won't get any sleep at my apartment." I say. He huffs. "But I can come over to your apartment when I drop Liam off at his grandparents at 4 and we can have a lazy evening together. Don't worry about you crazy schedule this week, I didn't even have time to go grocery shopping this week because of all the schoolwork and coming up exams." I offer. "Ugh I forgot you didn't have Liam overnight on Saturday, I promised Mark to have a drink because we survived the week from hell." Derek sounds depressed now needing to choose between his friend and me. "Der, we can both have a drink with Mark, I just want to spent time with you, isn't it weird that you live with the guy and I have been sleeping over but I have never seen him?" I say. "You want to meet my friend?" He asks. "Of course I do you met mine, why can't I meet them? Are you ashamed of me, that you sent him away every time I came over?" I ask getting up set. "No no I am not ashamed of you." He exclaims. "Then why haven't I met your friend yet?" I ask. "Because he has been covering my shifts every time you slept over." He says quietly. "Because those were the only days we could go out on a date because you didn't have Liam overnight." "Oh Der. Let's have a drink with him, I really want to thank him for that." I say. "Deal." He says. "Now don't get me wrong, I love talking to you, but you sound exhausted, so you are going to find a on call room and sleep for a while." I say. He chuckles. "Did I tell you that I like it when you are been bossy." "Yes you did once or twice." I role my eyes at him. "Now get your ass moving and find a on call room." I say trying to sound stern. "God Liam is going to be in trouble if you need to use that voice on him." He says and I can hear him get up and walking. I hear a door open and close, than a sound of a really uncomfortable bed. "Now put your head down and close your eyes." I demand. "Yes boss." I can hear him lying his head down and putting his phone next to his head. "Now do you want me to read a story to you." I ask sarcastically. "Yes, but only a very naughty one." He chuckles. "Only in your dream mister, you are in an on call room where anybody can come in at any second. Now go to sleep I will stay on the line till you are." I say giggling. "Oke." He mumbles and I know he is already on his way to dreamland. I lay my phone on a pile of laundry and walk to the washing machine and put the load in. I close the lit slowly not to disturb him and put it on. I change into my pyjama's and slide under the cover. I fall as sleep to the sound of Derek's soft breathing.