Hot.

Suffocating.

Scorching.

Pull out your thesaurus, because I'll be here all day.

In the meantime, my vision refocuses, and I raise my gaze correspondingly to take in the scenery...what little there is of it to see.

Finding myself standing in a narrow footpath in a small ravine of sorts, flanked on both sides by tall, jagged sides of sandy rock whose layers can easily be identified by a certain flame-wielding geologist, I slowly put my hands together to crack my knuckles one by one as a I take a good look around. Down here in the ravine, the heat isn't as bad - but since I'm not planning to stay here long, I don't have long to enjoy this luxury of slightly less torturous weather. Even down here, sand clogs the air, and when I look up, it's even worse up on ground level. I'm certainly not looking forward to dealing with it.

It's time to get a move on. Slowly putting my hands in my pockets, I remove myself from this small ravine, walking down this tiny, naturally occurring footpath to find an exit. As I walk, the howling winds brewing up a massive sandstorm overhead whistle piercingly into the ravine that I tread through; as someone with sensitive ears who can't deal with very high-pitched noises very well for longer than a few moments, I can feel my left ear acting up and begin emitting crackling noises of its own that only I can hear, which is its natural defense to protect the eardrum from having to hear such high-pitched noises for extended periods of time. It'll probably be better once I can get out of this ravine, but then again, I'd have bigger problems on my hands then. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, as I've been told - but flame has always been no problem for me.

A few more minutes of brisk walking, as is my default gait, produces no suitable destination, for I soon find myself halted by an abrupt end to this footpath that apparently leads nowhere. Strange - I had the feeling it would take me somewhere meaningful. Meaningful...in a place like this? It seems I can even make myself feel stupid.

Change of plans, then: looking up at the top of the short cliff-side, I shake my legs off a little to warm them up, focus my energy into my knees and feet, then bend my knees for a super-jump of sorts, and I put just barely enough energy into my joints to give me just enough clearance for me to latch onto the edge of the top with my gloved hands. Too bad fingerless gloves aren't ideal for situations like this.

No matter; I pull myself onto the top and dust myself off to survey my surroundings once more: sure enough, there's a horrible sandstorm raging across the land. Visibility is reduced to no more than about ten or so meters in any direction, which is a polite way of saying I can't fucking see shit, Captain. Any comments I want to make about how little scenery there is to see up here will have to wait until the sandstorm clears up - if it clears up.

My light zip-up hoodie and cap are woefully inadequate in providing me any sort of effective protection against this type of oppressive weather condition. Mysteriously, though, even with how bad the sandstorm is, with all the sand flying around at dangerously high speeds and my clear lack of protective clothing to shield me from it, I don't feel affected or irritated at all: the sand doesn't slap my eyes or my skin, the high-speed winds don't blow me in their direction or hinder my movement at all - hell, my hair and clothes don't even whip about like those wacky inflatable mascots you'd typically see at American budget car dealerships or sports parks or the like - and while the heat is certainly quite palpable, I don't feel bothered by that at all. It's not even a matter of me simply not feeling their physical interaction with my body, for example, the sand physically hitting my eyes or skin; the sand simply does not touch me at all.

It's as though I'm not part of this world - like I'm a mere visitor, or seeing this world through the eyes of someone else who was here.

After taking a few moments to marvel silently at the power and scale of this disastrous sandstorm, I again get a move on. I don't have a particular destination; I just walk for walking's sake. Though, it only takes my feet a minute of walking in the direction of the ravine I just jumped out of to show me what lies beyond the dead end of the ravine I found myself in: a much larger canyon, about three American football fields wide, is planted into the earth directly to my right. Looking over the edge and down into its contents below, since the sandstorm doesn't seem to obstruct the view into the chasm itself much, I can clearly see that it's less a canyon and more of a chasm - as a matter of fact, the chasm is so deep that I can't see the bottom; the light from ground zero on which I stand can't reach deep down enough to illuminate it for my human eyes to perceive.

More of the chasm would definitely be visible if it weren't for this thick sandstorm blocking much of the hazy sunlight, but I also get the feeling that maybe this chasm doesn't actually have a bottom. It would suck if I had acrophobia right now, wouldn't it.

Speaking of the sun, I glance up at the sky, what little of it that I can see through this whirling sandstorm. I'm not quite sure what I'm expecting, but to my quiet surprise, I find a muddied dot of dim light whose rays are barely able to penetrate this fearsome layer of spinning sand on this God-forsaken earth.

Even while trapped in the middle of this sandstorm, I find myself smiling up at the tiny dot of light in the sky. So long as I can see the sun, all is well.

"...eve, Miss Youkihi! I was here first!"

"Nonsense, Miss Tamamo. I'm also Master's contracted Servant; therefore, it is also my duty to ensure that Master receives a good, long sleep."

"M-Mikoooooon...! That's exactly what I was afraid of!"

"Afraid of...what? Did you somehow forget who I am? Of course I would tend to my Master like this ~ "

"Excuse me, Miss Youkihi, I'll have you know that I, the humble and ever faithful Tamamo no Mae, bear the distinction of being Master's first-summoned Servant. Therefore, as his first-summoned, I reserve the right to set the rules in this household. And the first rule that I have in place is that Master's bedside has room for only one of us!"

"H-Haaaoooo...! Such unfairness, merely because I was the second-summoned...! Perhaps you aren't being a little harsh, surely?"

"This is perfectly reasonable! As your superior, it is only natural that I have exclusive access to Master's closest affections. You know how younger siblings must respect the elder siblings? This is the same concept!"

"So...so you're Jie Jie Tamamo? Ehehe, I have a big sister again, yay ~ "

"D-Don't try to change the topic! You have to do as I say, and I say that you must vacate Master's other side this instant!"

"Awww...but now that I think about it, if we're on the topic of older siblings and such, do our histories not suggest that I am, in fact, the elder between us? Then I'm the big sister for a change, and you have to do as I say, ehehe!"

"That doesn't count! We are Servants now; our pasts aren't relevant, not in this moment!"

"Mmmmm...then, if it's come to this, it's time for a bit of a more drastic measure...!"

Youkihi isn't even done with her thought when I feel my head pulled from my pillow and pressed against a shallow chasm of a different sort, one that is very soft and warm, with two sizeable formations pressing against both sides of my chin and cheeks. The soft, pleasant scent of...is this lychee?...fills my nose, and a slight buzz caresses my brain, as if I've discovered an olfactory version of ASMR. As perhaps expected, I can hear Tamamo gasp dramatically behind me.

"Oh, now you've done it! This can't stand - I'm taking back what's rightfully mine!"

Again, even before Tamamo can finish her own thought, I find my face ripped away from the first valley and planted in another. This time, the formations feel somewhat bigger, and a curious, yet nostalgic scent of...apples?...fills my head instead, appropriately chasing out the lingering lychee scent that was on my mind a moment ago.

"Ah, you're going to wake Master up...!"

By this point, as Youkihi has observed, I can't pretend to be asleep anymore, mainly because Tamamo is so fiercely clutching me that she's effectively strangling me by shoving my face into her tits. Of all the ways that I anticipated dying in, I can't quite say "suffocation by human mammaries" was on that list.

"First thing I deal with is the two of you in my bed, taking turns seeing who'll choke me to death first?" I groan lightly as I pull my face out of Tamamo's kimono'd chest and sit up in bed, rubbing my right eye to get the drowsiness out. "What time is it, anyway..."

My two new Servants also sit up on either side of me on my queen-sized bed in the master bedroom of my townhouse home. "It's currently 9:45 in the morning, Master! You've slept for a good ten hours so far ~ " Tamamo immediately reports, and she gives a bit of a proud, haughty look over at Youkihi, who gives her a little pout back in response before saying of her own accord:

"You must've had such a tiring past two days cleaning up that mess in Chaldea, Master. If you'd like...please let me give you a relaxing massage to help you get started on your day."

"But massages are for after work, aren't they? Why are you doing things out of order?" Tamamo protests.

"Th-That wasn't my intention! Master was working so hard with us to get that facility fixed up. And that's before we start talking about how he was already up for so long by that point! If you ask me, honestly, he should be sleeping more!"

"No can do, I got work to do and I'm already almost two hours late for it. That, and I don't like sleeping for longer than eight, and I'm already two hours over that."

Swinging my legs off the bed and pushing off with my thighs and hands, I hop out of bed to quickly get ready for the day - and by that, I mean using the bathroom, washing my face, and heading straight to my desk in my bedroom to get started.

"So you work from home, from your own room, Master?" Youkihi asks curiously, still sitting at the foot of my bed and watching me sit down in my black office swivel chair and turn on my work computer.

"Yeah. Luckily for me, it's a kind of job that I can easily do from home, so why not take the extra step to have my office in the same room where I sleep..."

Pulling up my keyboard and grabbing my mouse, I rapidly type in the password for my computer and proceed to open up my work email, scrolling down to the bottom of the pile of unread emails to take care of the older ones first, as some of those emails are time-sensitive and need to be handled first.

"Then I shall fix Master some breakfast," Tamamo says, getting up from the bed to head downstairs to the kitchen, but I call to her over the clicking of the keys,

"I don't really have an appetite right after I wake up, so make it something light, please."

"Okay ~ !"

Closing the door behind her, Tamamo vacates the master bedroom to procure my breakfast, leaving me and Youkihi alone inside while I pore over the first email regarding a delayed shipment from one of my clients' shippers in Shanghai.

"Um...Master? What would you have me do at this moment?" I hear Youkihi ask again, in her soft, almost blanket-like voice that gently wraps around my eardrums like blue velvet. "I, um...I wish to be of use to you...but..."

"I actually don't have anything for you to do at this moment," I say back to her as I type a response email. "But since we didn't have much time to properly introduce ourselves to each other, once I'm done with work here, I'd like to spend some time talking to both of you just so that we can get to know each other a little."

Youkihi lets out a small little gasp of sharp delight, the kind of gasp that a young child would make when told that they'll be going for a trip to the candy shop. Even without looking at her, even with what minuscule amount of interaction we've had with each other, I can craft the perfect mental image of what her face must look like at this moment.

"Then I shall wait until that time ~ !" she responds in kind.

So I fully invest myself into my work. As I've mentioned a few times before, I work in the logistics business, specifically as a freight-forwarder, and my business, first established by my late dad, handles the transport of shipments from one location to another. Due to my dad's hard work, he managed to secure a small but reliable and consistent client base here in southern California, and he then used that initial client base to expand the business by convincing those clients to tell their relatives and friends who also manage businesses and companies of their own that were in need of freight forwarding services to come to him for business, which many of them did. As a result, my dad's - and now my - one-man company specializes in bringing in goods from several different regions in China to the West Coast, mainly the Los Angeles Port, where either they'll stay for distribution to our clients here in SoCal or be put on intermodal trains bound for Dallas or Chicago. As a certified and legally registered freight forwarder, I can get any product from any place on Earth into the United States, at least theoretically, though naturally I can do the best job and provide the best rates for shipments originating in East Asia or Southeast Asia bound for various ports around America, like LA, New York, and Savannah.

Studying through grade school, I was aware of my dad's business from a young age, and given my dad's advanced age relative to me - he was about forty-five years old when I was born - I wanted to work with him so that he wouldn't have to concern himself as much with the burden of his work. All this work that I'm doing right now from home, it's all quite simple and easy to do, and with the relatively small client base that we have and my experience with the business, the heaviest workloads I've ever had to deal with take me no more than about three hours to finish entirely. But the same couldn't be said of my dad, whose work efficiency couldn't possibly match mine simply because of his age, his relative lack of knowledge about computers and office technology and such, and his failing eyesight at the time.

He also spent much of his time and energy in the early days when I was younger outside of the office. Back when he first left the previous company he was working with, Hanjin at the time, he needed to find that client base on which to start his own company, so he spent many long hours, days, weeks, even months driving around Los Angeles, searching far and wide for potential customers, and in a foreign land where he knew nothing about the residents here and with only a tenuous grasp over the English language, such searching took a heavy toll on him, both physically and mentally. He never admitted this to me personally, but I know for a fact that there was time when he'd accidentally driven into a bad part of the county and took a bullet for his trouble that struck him in the side of the shoulder. Perhaps there could have been a more efficient and safer way to go about securing customers than what he did, but he personally felt that that was the best way to do it, because customers whom you meet personally rather than online or over the phone are more likely to remain loyal to you as customers in the long run.

After hearing his stories about how he'd started his business back in early high school, I thus resolved to follow in his footsteps, in a sense, and take over the business so that he could retire early and have it easy to make up for all these years he'd lost to working and looking after his family. I'll never truly know what he'd gone through just to get to the point where we are now, and I certainly won't try to pretend like I do, but even still, those feelings of inadequacy didn't stop me from wanting to show my dad that he'd done a good job, even if I was never able to tell him those words directly - not that he would've wanted to hear me saying that to him in the first place. On that note, given his personality and how he'd always encourage me to focus on my own interests, I also figured he'd be against me wanting to work with him, but to my surprise, he agreed and got me started working as a sort of in-house intern, I guess you could say, and from that point on it was just assumed that I would in fact take over the business upon high school graduation.

So in order to prepare, I took language courses, both in high school and online - Korean, Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese, and Spanish - in order to accommodate the native languages of the vast majority of our customers and the shippers we'd be working with. And during my senior year, I attended weekend classes at a local Cal State university to learn about the freight forwarding industry in general, while my dad taught me the specific nuances of his business that I'd have to know upon my eventual takeover. I tagged along with my dad whenever he'd drive out to meet his customers in person so that I'd familiarize myself with them and vice versa and to practice the languages I was learning.

Thanks to all that, following my dad's death a year after high school, I was able to enjoy a seamless transition from company manager (honestly a bullshit title in a company with only two people in it) to the owner of the business. Such is the boring, uninteresting story of how I got to where I am now...

So buried in my work that when I reach for the phone with my left hand in order to give a call to a carrier's customer service department to check on the status of a live shipment in the Napoleon port terminal in New Orleans, I spy out of the corner of my eye Youkihi, the blue-dressed Servant I unintentionally summoned, sitting calmly on the carpeted floor next to me in front of my desk.

"...why are you sitting on the floor?" I ask her, lowering the phone receiver a little, and Youkihi lets out a little giggle that could make a rock blush with warmth.

"I just...I just wanted to watch you work, if that's alright with you, Master," she answers earnestly. "And, um - is it alright for me to say that you look...so...so...how should I say...cool...?"

Her face flushes a little as she clasps her cheeks with both hands, shaking with giddy embarrassment. For my part, though, I stare blankly back at her.

"...this is just about the most generic office work that I'm doing, with the exception that I'm doing it in my pajamas," I mutter back to her with a bit of confusion, glancing down at my plain solid gray pajamas that I'm still wearing even after I've gotten out of bed. "What the hell about this looks cool to you?"

"Oh, it's not about your clothes or anything - it's just the way you look and work. The focus in your eyes, the efficiency in your arms and fingers, that solemn, professional voice you use when you talk on the phone..." Youkihi trembles even harder for a brief moment as her excitement gets the better of her, and she lets out a very small squee to punctuate her sentiments. While she's experiencing her short little moment of epiphany, I get out of my chair, push aside the big sliding door that doubles as a mirror and also hides my clothes behind it like a pseudo-closet to grab a spare old folding chair for my Servant.

"...are cubicle workers, like, your fetish or something?" I joke to her, unfolding the spare plastic chair and offering it to her, which she happily accepts and sits next to me with.

"Well, not cubicle workers, specifically, but..."

"Okay, I'ma have to stop you right there before you tell me something that I'll regret hearing."

"Awwww..." Youkihi pouts again, but she stops when she glances at my computer screen to see an email that I was working on that I'm typing in Mandarin. "Wah! I forgot that Master knows Chinese!"

"没错," I reply, switching to Chinese. "I studied when I was younger, during school, and I use it a lot for work."

Hearing me speak Mandarin seems to open the floodgates for the personality of a much more animated Youkihi to surge forward.

"Woowww, that's amazing, Master! I hear learning new languages is very hard, and that Chinese is very tough for foreigners to learn! Ehe, well, not - not my kind of Foreigner, but - but um, you know - "

"I know, don't worry. How did you know that people these days generally consider learning Chinese to be difficult?"

"Ahaha, it's just some modern knowledge that the Holy Grail gave me when I materialized here as a Servant. It's also how we know about what's going on right now about the more contextually relevant details pertaining to you as a Master."

"I take it that it's also how you can speak perfect English, too?"

"Yes, yes. It's - it's honestly a little bit weird, being able to speak another language like this, but - but it's quite fun! I'm sure I'll get used to it."

"I'll be honest too, I thought you and Tamamo would speak English with some sort of accent..."

"Accent?"

"Yeah. This area that I live in has people of a lot of different cultures living here, so you'll oftentimes find people being able to speak two or more languages naturally. But at the same time, since we live on the West Coast, we get a lot of people moving here from East Asia and Southeast Asia, either to live here permanently or for business-related stuff, so we also get people who can speak English and whatever their native language is but with an accent since English isn't their first language. I've gone to school and worked with a lot of people for my business who were like that, so I was a bit surprised hearing you two speak English so fluidly."

Youkihi is smiling from ear to ear as I'm talking - I guess she just really likes being able to talk with me. "If I may ask, Master, what language would you like me to speak to you?"

"Any's fine. Though, recently I haven't met some of my Chinese clients in a while, so being able to speak Mandarin with you like this is actually really good for me, so that it won't get rusty. Chinese isn't my first language, after all."

"Oh? What was your first language, then?"

"English. I was born here in America."

Youkihi nods sagely, rather cutely putting on an air of an old monk for a moment. "I see, I see. Master truly is an amazing person."

"...what's so amazing about that?" I ask. I figure I'll be chatting with Youkihi for a bit, so I put the phone receiver back on its dock so that I can call the New Orleans terminal at a later time and go back to browsing through new emails, since I can do this while conversing with my Servant.

"Even though you grew up with only one language, you went out of your way to learn another langu - " Youkihi cuts herself off when she looks back up and realizes that I'm reading another email, this time in another language. "Waaah! Master, you - you know Korean as well?! Haooooooo, you're so amazing!"

"I'm more amazed at the fact that you know what this is," I scowl back at her lightly. "But yes, this is Korean. As a matter of fact, I'm ethnically Korean; you can tell by my last name."

"Then would you like to call me 양귀비 instead, Master?"

"Wait, you speak Korean too?"

"No, no, I just happen to know all the different sorts of names that history's given me ~ "

"Ah. Well, I'm not sure if that's the most flattering name to call you by..."

"Oh? Why not?"

"Because 'Yang Kwibi', or just 'Yang Ki-Bi', is what Koreans call the poppy flower. And there's a species of poppy that opium and opiates are produced with..."

"Aaaah! So the Koreans named the poppy flower after me because of my folklore?! That's what they did, isn't it?! The Koreans are savage, savaaaaage!" Youkihi, able to put two and two together on her own, cries out in shock, though still in her cutesy manner, thankfully. "P-People are really mean, aren't they? It wasn't even my fault...there's getting strangled to death, and then there's having your name be the name that people use to describe a flower used to make drugs for the next millenium! I didn't sign up for this when I joined the Throne!"

"Right, I didn't think you'd take too kindly to that either, so let's just stick to Youkihi," I reassure her, and I cast out my right hand to give Youkihi a small pat on the head. "There there, cheer up."

Even at this half-assed request of mine, my Chinese Servant perks up happily, her increasingly brooding mood lightening up quickly at the touch of my palm on her head.

"Ehehe ~ thank you, Master ~ "

At that moment, the door opens to the bedroom, and in marches Tamamo who, contrary to my own request that I made to her when I first got to work, carries a tray filled with food: a bowl of tamago kake gohan (fluffy white rice sprinkled with rice seasoning and topped with an egg, in this case a fried egg with its yolk intact) with miso soup, assorted veggies, four perfectly cut apple slices, and a tall glass of 2% milk.

"Master ~ ! I've fixed you your breakfast, so please, have it before you con - "

Both Youkihi and I turn to Caster, with my hand still on Youkihi's head. Tamamo's golden eyes, taking in the scene that we present to her, fixate themselves on my hand on my second Servant's head. I can clearly tell when it registers in Tamamo's mind that I'm giving Youkihi a headpat because Tamamo's divine golden eyes lose their light and become dangerously empty for a moment before flashing ominously brightly with that same golden hue.

"Maaaaaaaaasteeeeeeeeer...?" My first-summoned Servant asks me in a quiet but threatening voice as a false smile creeps up on her lips. Her hands that are gripping the handles of the trap are squeezing them so hard that I can hear them creaking and bending under the pressure.

"Before you fly off the rails, set the food down so that you don't waste it, please," I ask Caster, pulling my hand away from Youkihi, who frowns just a little at the fact that her fellow Servant's interrupted this peaceful moment between us.

The notion of wasting food reminds Tamamo of her original task, and the dangerous divine lights in her luscious, golden eyes fade away quickly as she returns down to earth.

"O-Oh my goodness - of course, Master! I would never think to do something as impolite as that! Please, enjoy your breakfast, I've made it with what was available in the kitchen. It's but a simple repast, but I can assure you that this is 100%, genuine Tamamo no Mae home cooking ~ !"

"Sounds like a trademark," I remark casually as I take the tray from her after clearing my desk to make room for the tray.

"Yes, yes, indeed! Maybe I should make my own startup company and sell Tamamo-brand home products...?" Tamamo rubs her chin thoughtfully, like a business guru who's just thought up of another potentially lucrative prospect.

"Well, if you do decide to go through with that, let me know. I can help you get started."

At this, Tamamo gasps with delight. "Y-You will, Master?! Mikoooooon, I'm so happyyyyy, Master approves of my own business ideas ~ !" And with that, she throws her arms at me, wrapping them tightly around the top of my thorax and rubbing the side of her cheek against the back of my head.

"Miss Tamamo, please, distance yourself from Master! He is trying to eat his meal in peace, yet you are actively obstructing him!" Youkihi accuses swiftly once she can see that I'm admittedly having a bit of trouble being able to eat the food that Tamamo herself's brought me.

At this, Caster realizes her own mistake and disengages, but not without wanting to fire back at Foreigner. "Miss Youkihi, I do believe that you are in no position to criticize my actions when I have done more for Master than you have so far!"

"Hauuu, that's unfair! I have been keeping Master company while you were fixing him his breakfast! Can we not at least call it even? You were a courtesan yourself, weren't you? Then you should know that keeping our Master is a natural part of our job descriptions!"

I barely manage to stifle a snort of laughter hearing Youkihi say that. Using a modern phrase like "job description" to describe their historical roles...something about that comes off as rather amusing to me for no real good reason. As my two Servants noisily argue with each other like two stray cats hissing at each other in an alleyway, I take a first bite of my tamamo kake gohan with my chopsticks and start chewing.

Even though it's such a simple food, I haven't eaten a dish as delicious as this in a long while...

Taking a sip of my hot barley tea, I briefly hold the equally hot cup in both hands before setting it gently down on the glass table separating me from my two freshly summoned Servants, who sit across from me on the long couch that we've moved in front of the flatscreen television for the purpose of this conversation.

Today is the following day after promotion to Provisional Master of Chaldea and subsequent summoning. Thanks to the second wind I got after staying up the entire night looking after the Director, I decided to spend the rest of the day at Chaldea helping Olga, Romani, Da Vinci, and Mash clean up the rubble, with the added assistance of Tamamo and Youkihi, of course - and at some point some of the less wounded surviving Chaldean staff members also pitched in wherever they could. We at least cleared most of the rubble from the Coffin Chamber and Central Control, and Da Vinci said to leave the machine and technical repairs to her and Mash. Once that was done, I returned home with my newfound Servants to rest and carry on my own life.

But not before Olga took me aside to speak to me with Da Vinci in private, away from Tamamo and Youkihi. While we were cleaning up the Chamber, Olga took the liberty to assess the Servants I'd managed to summon, Youkihi in particular. I'd never heard of the Servant Class that she mentioned she was - "Foreigner" - my limited knowledge of the Servant Summoning System and whatnot certainly never accounted for a Class like that, so I was interested in what Olga had to say, which isn't what I can say about her all the time.

Apparently, they have no idea how the hell I managed to pull off summoning a Foreigner-Class Servant. In fact, there is so little information about the Foreigner Class proper that not even Chaldea's databases can provide adequate information or guidance on what to do in the event that one is summoned. Da Vinci told me that while the unorthodox nature of FATE means that summoning uncommon and ordinarily not-supposed-to-summon Servant Classes can be possible, albeit with hefty amounts of randomness and uncertainty, the fact that a Foreigner showed up, a Class so unexplored and niche that we don't even know how scared we should be as bystanders, or in my case a Master, neither the Director nor the self-proclaimed genius Servant of the Renaissance knew what to do with Youkihi at first.

So Da Vinci, with my permission, took Youkihi aside to talk with her about her Class while I finished up cleaning up the Chamber, even though Olga pointed out to me that I probably should have gone with the two so that Youkihi could explain to herself to both Da Vinci and me at the same time. The FATE system should have equipped her with knowledge about her own Class, just as she's been given contextual modern-day knowledge so that her transition from the Throne of Heroes to a materialized Servant of mine can be as seamless as possible, so now that Youkihi, an actual Foreigner-Class Servant, is here with us, Da Vinci just couldn't pass up this opportunity to get to learn about a Servant Class that only ever exists in theory.

I asked Da Vinci once I was done with my work to tell me what she'd found out, but she urged me to talk to her myself. She promised me that it would be fascinating, in both good and bad ways, but she did thank me heartily for managing to summon Youkihi. I assume that's only because she's so captivated by Youkihi's situation that this'll occupy that tinkering Renaissance brain of hers for the next week or so before she gets bored and moves on to something fresher and more interesting.

"Ehehe ~ this is like a job interview," Youkihi giggles lightly.

"Even though we've already been summoned?" Tamamo remarks a bit dryly. "It'd be more of a talent reassessment interview in this case."

"Oh, is that so...?"

"Well, let's leave aside the whole job interview vibe, I've never worked at 'normal' company, and I never applied to one before since my current job's the only 'normal' job I've ever had, so I know nothing about the standard corporate process," I say quickly. All of us are using English, as it's our commonly shared language, courtesy of the Holy Grail or...FATE, or whatever's the exact source of power that makes Servant summoning possible in our situation. "But as I said earlier, let's properly introduce ourselves. I'll go first, since I'm the one initiating, even though I'm sure both of you already know: I'm Augustus Il - my Korean name's Il Chang Gyun, but I don't really like using that, just call me August like you have. I'm a freelancer mage-turned Provisional Master for Chaldea, tasked with resolving hazardous chronological phenomena that threaten the standard course of human history known as Singularities that the Chaldea Security Organization identifies. Originally my instructions were to summon just one Servant to assist me in my responsibilities as Provisional Master, but, uh, let's say some shenanigans happened after the first summoning and I inadvertently performed an unauthorized second summoning, so now you two are here today because of that."

Tamamo sneers silently but haughtily over at Youkihi, who returns it with an irritated and annoyed look of her own. Noticing this particular interaction between them while I'm in the middle of wrapping up the introductions on my side, I make sure to add,

"But, even if the second summoning was unintended, I will nonetheless work with both of you to the best of my ability to carry out my duties as Provisional Master, and I, as your Master, expect similar or the same from both of you as well. Excuse me for the coarse language that I'm about to use here, but basically, Tamamo, don't give Youkihi shit just because I merely accidentally summoned her."

"M-Mikon...understood, Master..." Tamamo gives a little pout of her own, her fox ears drooping a little at my light reprimand, and Youkihi's expression conversely brightens with relief that I've come to her defense.

"The same goes for you too, Youkihi. I may be defending you now, but don't get on her case just because it seems like I'm favoring you more at the moment," I also sternly remind the Foreigner-Class Servant, in case she starts getting ahead of herself. "I intend to treat the two of you equally, and as such I'd like to draw the line right now and ask that the two of you learn how to get along, or at the very least get to the point where you two won't cause trouble during times when we really don't need it. If you can't do that, I'll have to take measures to ensure that such trouble is not caused to save me that trouble later down the road, such as disbanding the contract I've made with one of you - "

"N-Nullification of contract!? Eeeeek! On Amaterasu's honor, I will make sure it will not have to come to that, Master! I'll sacrifice Youkihi to make sure things don't come to that if I must!"

"Ah, there goes Miss Tamamo throwing me under the bus again!" Youkihi whines, predictably so.

"Sorry, I used an extreme example because it popped into my head first. Obviously I'd rather not have to disband, because I can tell both of you are extremely powerful Servants, and I probably wouldn't live it down myself if I had to let go of one of you, now that both of you are already here. So that's my bad - but that aside, I hope I'm very clear about this, about how I don't want you two to be fighting all the time. I'm not asking you two to become best friends forever or anything like that, you can have your little disagreements here and there and have arguments whenever it's not a bad time. All I'm asking is for you two to not let that kind of thing happen when it is a bad time for it; it's honestly a pet peeve of mine, so please don't let it get to that point."

"Yes, Master," the two Servants nod simultaneously.

"Then that's it from me, not much else to say. Let's start with Caster first." I gesture to Tamamo, whose fox ears immediately stand, as if she's going to stand up herself with bottled anticipation.

"Hello ~ I'm your beloved foxy Shrine Maiden-turned Caster Servant, Tamamo no Mae ~ ! But of course you can just call me Tamamo. I specialize in household skills, both inside and out, such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, and being a good wife ~ ! And as for my Servant skills, I mainly provide ranged magical artillery and support, but I'm not afraid to make the bad guys catch these hands if I need to! Hwwwaaaaaaaaaaa ~ ! ! ! !"

With a markedly exaggerated kiai shout, Tamamo twirls her hands in some kind of...deviant martial arts stance...or something. I just stare at her with no readable reaction on my face, while Youkihi simply bites into a rice cracker that I've brought for the girls from the snack pantry in the kitchen to enjoy, the sharp snaps of the rice cracker piercing through Youkihi's closed mouth and into the living room around us. Tamamo doesn't seem at all fazed by this, and she bulldozes through this air of awkwardness.

"But besides martial arts prowess, I also specialize in divine healing techniques! Basically, I'm just the perfect, all-around Caster! You couldn't have summoned a better Servant than me for the job! And on top of everything else, I can also use my courtesan skills to entertain you, if you'd so like, Master ~ "

Tamamo starts coming onto me, bending her knees slightly with a hearty degree of naughtiness and blowing a small kiss my way. I'm immediately reminded of the famous Marilyn Monroe maneuver from the previous century.

"Courtesan skills? You mean sex?" I ask with a straight face. Neither Tamamo nor Youkihi, the latter of whom has been lightly glaring up at Tamamo in disapproval, expect me to speak with this degree of bluntness, and both of them react accordingly - Youkihi accidentally bites the inside of her mouth while munching on her sweet rice cracker, and Tamamo straightens out her back immediately with a luminescent blush covering her cheeks.

"Aaaaawawaawa! M-Master, you rascal, you mustn't be so straightforward like that ~ !" Caster squeals, but the embarrassed smile on her face would suggest otherwise.

"So you were talking about that." I pull out my smartphone, pretending to dial Olga's number that I do not have because I've never asked for a girl's phone number in my life. "Very well - it seems that I need an adult in this situation."

"But I AM an adult!?" Tamamo squeals again suddenly.

"S-So am I!" Youkihi also pipes up, though with more reservedness. "If you'd like, Master, um, I can - I can keep you safe from Tamamo's inappropriate...conduct."

"Oh heeeeelllllll no! You and I both know damned well you'll do the exact same thing as I would!" Tamamo whips to her left so hard that I half expect her rather showy blue kimono to instantly fall apart where she stands. How the hell is she wearing that thing and moving around in it without it disintegrating? It's like it's her Noble Phantasm or something, with how it defies all laws of clothing physics with its impossibly low neckline and all.

Though, I will say that her spinning to her left like that with such speed caused her long, flowing pink hair to whip about accordingly too. Seeing such long, beautiful pink hair like that take flight - now that's a sight for sore eyes.

"N-Nonsense! I would not dare act so - so personally like that when it was only just been a day since we have established our contracts with Master!" Youkihi defends herself once more. "I still remember how to perform my duties as Imperial Consort, unlike you, Miss Tamamo! Remember, my title of Guifei is not just for show! One cannot simply act as if her Master is immediately her husband a mere day into her contract with him. One must progress her relationship with her Master slowly, steadily, until it blooms into a beautiful - "

"Now that sounds more like it," I agree, giving a couple of strong nods of approval, much to Youkihi's delight and Tamamo's corresponding dismay.

"Master, Master! You said you wouldn't favor one of us over the other! What is this that I'm seeing right now?! This is a clear breach of contract! I demand recompense!" Caster shrieks, causing both me and Youkihi to laugh.

"I mean, it's hard to go against someone who's just giving a reasonable answer. I've never heard of a relationship where two people meet each other and get married the next day."

"Sure it does! Have you never heard of shotgun weddings, Master?"

"...the fact that you know what those are is extremely worrying, Tamamo. For reasons more than one."

"But you know what those are, though!"

"Of course not, ya doofus!" I raise my voice back at Caster, though only slightly and in clear jest. "I'm a twenty-two year-old virgin who does nothing but work, work, and more work because that's all the shit I know how to do! The hell do I know about weddings of any kind!"

At this, Tamamo's face contorts with a kind of naughty surprise that is most prevalent on the faces of well-endowed big sister-type girls meeting prepubescent young boys...something involving high-end graphics cards for some reason.

"Even better," she says lightly, licking her chops.

Swiftly, Youkihi springs out of her seat and stands in between me and Tamamo, and playing along with this impromptu skit, I jump out of my own seat too and duck behind my Foreigner Servant and begin trembling jokingly.

"Youkihi, do you have any experience in fox hunting? I get the feeling that my chastity that I thought no one cared about's in danger now," I ask.

"I can't say that I do, but...that might change in a few moments," Youkihi says with a kind of seriousness that I've yet to hear from her until now, and her voice's pitch lowers suddenly as a result of her seriousness. I notice the fingertips on her left hand that she has by her right side near my face spark with five small bright blue celestial flames.

"I was kidding, kidding! You didn't have to react so badly to that, did you?!" Seeing the two of us react almost in synchronization, Tamamo becomes pouty again and frets at us as usual. "Please don't treat me as though I'm some sort of apex predator, that actually rubs me the wrong way, thank you very much!"

"Apex predator...so you'd probably be a Lifeline main," I murmur to myself, emerging from behind Youkihi as I tell her to stand down.

"A what main?"

"Ignore that, I was just saying dumb shit. Anyways, let's sit back down, because I'd like to hear about Youkihi too."

Tamamo still has her pouty face on when the three of us resume our seats. "So you do prefer her over me..."

"The more you keep that attitude up, the more I will."

Caster shuts up immediately, silently raising her hand up to her lips to drag her fingertips across her mouth, pretending to zip her mouth shut. Once that's handled, I turn to Foreigner.

"Go ahead," I nod at her, and she nods back and clears her throat for a proper introduction.

"I am Yang Guifei, one of the Four Great Beauties of Ancient China. It was the cherished title I was given by my beloved Emperor Xuanzong, and the one that seems to have been remembered the most frequently by history, but as that is merely a title of the time when I was a living human, I feel it is not appropriate to use here. My real name is Yang Yuhuan, but I don't mind 'Youkihi' as usual either. Or...this is...just a little nickname I thought up for myself, so please excuse me, but..."

Youkihi starts to blush again towards the end there as she says,

"...you could even call me...'Yuuyuu' if you'd like..."

I think I can feel my teeth rotting from how sweet she is.

Instantly getting slapped with her own recoil of embarrassment, the rest of Youkihi's face pops into a sea of luscious deep pink right before she covers her face with both of her hands quickly.

"M-Maybe on second thought - that's - that's a bit hard - and embarrassing - to say! Haaaauuuu..."

"Yuuyuu? That's fine, I don't mind that," I shrug back, though I do take a second to rub my teeth with my index finger to make sure that they're all intact and not about to fall out their gums. Yuuyuu, peeking out from over her hands that she lowers down from her face halfway, lets out the tiniest little gasp I've ever heard a girl utter.

"R-Really...?! Th-Thank you, Master, I'd - I'd love for you to call me that ~ !"

Watching the two of us talk, Tamamo is doing the world's slowest eyeroll, but she holds her peace for now as Yuuyuu resumes her introduction.

"Well, anyways, um...e-enough about my background...you must be very curious about my status as a Foreigner-Class Servant, Master, for Servants of my Class are seldom, if ever, summoned..."

"Right, I'd greatly appreciate it if you could explain what you can about it."

"Of course, Master. Foreigners, or otherwise known as 'Visitors from the Empty Void', are highly atypical Servants whose summonings should be extraordinarily difficult under normal circumstances, because in order for one to become a Foreigner, they must somehow come into contact with an Outer God...a being of another universe so removed from our own that they reside outside even parallel universes that stem from our own. If you are familiar with the literature of a certain...dreamer by the name of Howard Phillips Lovecraft and his 'mythos', then you will know what I am referring to. And not only must they make contact with one such Outer God, but they must also somehow defy the following madness that is sure to follow. However, while most cannot survive such a contact, some humans may find it in themselves to perform such a feat, either by keeping their sanities or mental integrities intact or, should they be so bold, consume or absorb the very madness that has tried to consume them first."

"So which category do you fall under?" I ask curiously. I've only ever skimmed Cthulu Mythos, but I suppose I should have done more than simply skim through it.

At this, Yuuyuu hesitates, and the look on her face is clearly a stumped one.

"...I...don't quite know myself," she admits quietly. "Perhaps...as I develop and grow as a Servant, I will understand more about this...mysterious nature of mine. Though, there is one thing I don't understand. Servants...tend to be great heroes, or those who have accomplished great and amazing deeds in their lives, right? I was merely a consort in my own life...a title I am very proud of, don't get me wrong, but...compared to even Miss Tamamo here, who is quite literally a facet of a Japanese goddess...what has a consort such as myself ever done in history?"

"'Even', she says..." Tamamo scoffs.

"Easy, Tamamo," I call over to Caster before turning to Yuuyuu again. "Keep going?"

"I know this is not something you can possibly answer, Master, but...I just can't help but wonder...what did the Outer God see in me when it, or they, made contact with me? As I said, I was a consort, Emperor Xuanzong's concubine. I was not a warrior, tactician, or general...and certainly was I not a famed scholar or government official, though many of my family members were. Really my most defining skills would have to be my musical talents...specifically, singing, dancing, and playing the biwa...but even then..."

"I mean, you've met Da Vinci back at Chaldea, and history only knows her as an inventor and such, yet here she is. I'm sure there are musicians and such who are Servants as well."

"Well, I get that, but even still..." Yuuyuu sighs heavily. "If I had been made a Caster too, just like Miss Tamamo, because of my musical talents, then I would understand. But I am quite clearly not a Caster...I am something else entirely."

I continue to gaze back at Yuuyuu with no change in my facial expression, as often is the case - to a fault, even. "Ordinary people have done some pretty amazing stuff throughout history, some of them coming from highly unlikely backgrounds. You yourself, if I'm not mistaken, became Guifei, even if you don't think you've done anything special. So you should already know why you qualified as a Servant to begin with...and besides, whatever Outer God it is that interacted with you or vice versa, I'm sure there's a good reason for why you're a Foreigner. Or at least I hope it's good...but in any case, all that needs to be said is that you've got quite the legacy yourself."

Yuuyuu nods slowly. Perhaps that wasn't quite the right thing to say to her, having looked up her history myself after I finished work this morning...so I quickly divert the topic to help her take her mind off her own legacy.

"Then tell me about your abilities. Judging by what Tamamo said, she sounds like she's an ideal backline support type, with the added benefit of being able to perform more direct roles if need be. At the risk of sounding like an actual corporate interviewer, what do you bring to the table, so to speak?"

The diversion works beautifully; Yuuyuu brightens up immediately again as she excitedly begins to speak again, more than happy to present herself favorably to her Master.

"Oh, oh! I'm really, really, really good at burning things!" the former consort says confidently, and those strong nods that she gives solidify such confidence that she exudes. "You saw a bit of it when I was protecting you from the big bad Tamamo fox!"

"Who's the big bad fox!? And you're getting that fairy tale wrong, it's supposed to be a WOLF! And I ain't no wolf!" Tamamo hollers again, grabbing hold of her own ears, probably out of frustration. "Do these look like wolf ears to you, Miss Youkihi!?"

"Okay, both of you, let's please ease off on the banter. Continue, please."

"Right away, Master. Um...so...yeah. I'm...really good at burning stuff. Do you like blue flames, Master?"

"They look quite nice, yes. Blue is one of my favorite colors, so I find it quite agreeable."

"Is it?! Oh, gosh, that makes two of us, then ~ !" Yuuyuu gives a cute little clap.

"You mean three," Tamamo corrects her.

"Oh? Miss Tamamo also likes the color blue? That's great, we all have something in common ~ !"

"It is, but I take it that burning stuff's really about all you can do."

The Foreigner shrinks in her seat a little in self-inflicted dismay. "...y-yes, Master, that's...that's correct. Like I said, I...I was only ever a consort, and so I only know of skills that an ancient Chinese consort would know. I don't have any of Miss Tamamo's supportive skills like healing or providing magical artillery...and I'm under the impression that I only know how to fight because of my summoning as a Servant and whatever powers that I've been granted as a result of my interaction with my Outer God."

"Alright, then you're probably a frontline fighter-type, which might be contrary to your personal historical detail, but...otherwise, that's perfect."

"Eh...?" Yuuyuu looks back up at me sharply. "P-Perfect? How so, Master?"

"You're an offensive-type Servant, while Tamamo's a support-type Servant. Originally, if I hadn't accidentally summoned you, I would have acted as a frontline fighter type myself, with Tamamo behind me in support. But now that we have you with us, I can fulfill what's known as a 'flex' role, which is a fancy way of saying that I have the freedom to switch between fighting with you up in front and supporting you or Tamamo, or maybe even both of you at once."

"Speaking of which, Master, you haven't told us what your abilities are. You say that you can fight up close and personal? I was under the impression that mages, particularly those who are acting as Masters of us Servants, usually relegate direct combat roles to their Servants!"

"I'm a bit different from your typical run-of-the-mill mage," I reply swiftly, though I have to wonder if FATE didn't inform my Servants of my own abilities, which would be...a bit strange, "in that I'm a firearm user. Guns, in other words...repurposed for magework, of course. I also know a bit of hand-to-hand combat, so I can fight CQC, ranged, whatever I feel is the most appropriate."

"A mage using modern technology...I hear that mages normally do not condone usage of normal human technology?" Yuuyuu asks curiously.

"Yeah, normally they don't; it's a huge taboo among conventional mages for them to resort to using stuff like guns." I toss my hands up into the air. "I don't really give a shit, though. Remember, I'm a freelancer, a mercenary. I use whatever weapons and tactics I have at my disposal to get the job done. Within reason though, might I add."

I glance over at the clock that's hanging on the wall to my right, over the piano that's pushed up against the wall of the moderately-sized living room.

"If the two of you would like, I'd like to take some time out tonight to train with you two so that we can acclimate ourselves to each other's combat skills, techniques, and styles. Is that alright?"

"Must you ask us? Of course we'd love to! We're your Servants!" Tamamo points out. "But first, before that, what shall we do about your lunch? Your kitchen is emptier than Tamamo Cat's head! Which is ironic, given how good she is at cooking as well...grrrr..."

Who's Tamamo Cat, I ask myself silently as I get up from my seat on the couch.

"If that's the case, why don't we head out for lunch? We can eat out and go grocery shopping at the same time."

Both Caster and Foreigner start positively beaming with excitement at the prospect of heading out with their Master, and, perhaps predictably, both of them yell out at the exact same time,

"You mean - this'll be like a date?!"

Consequently, again without much surprise, the two Servants snap gazes at each other and start glaring daggers at each other.

"I call first dibs on Master, Miss Youkihi," Tamamo snarls lightly.

"Not if I claim him first," Yuuyuu sneers back.

After a few more moments of glaring, the two of them immediately break position and dash over to my sides, with Tamamo hugging my left arm viciously while Yuuyuu clutches my right. Both of them are beginning to grasp my arms so tightly that I can feel their blood circulation being slowly squeezed off.

As my arms slowly go numb with the strength of these scary two girls on either side of me, I can't help but wonder what cruel joke is being played on me that I happened to summon Servants as clingy as these two. Last I checked, the job description listed in my renegotiated contract with Chaldea most certainly did not include having to deal with inter-Servant relations...

A/N

If there are any pieces of Nasuverse lore or characterization that I incorrectly describe or portray, do let me know, and I'll do my best to correct them.