A/N
Sougetsu: apologies for stealing your thunder unintentionally. But even if you hold this fic in fairly high regard, don't let me stop you from writing your own fic on our favorite blue-flame Chinese waifu; the Fate community can always use more Hao Hao.
"いただきまあああああ～す！"
"谢谢你请的这顿饭!"
"잘 먹겠습니다."
With three different East Asian ways to give our thanks before digging into our lunch, Tamamo, Yuuyuu, and I split our wooden chopsticks all at the exact same time to begin eating.
After a brief discussion on where we ought to go for lunch, which naturally involved a short but fierce verbal discourse between my two new Servants, Tamamo and Yuuyuu realized that they'd get nowhere with them always being at odds with each other like this and compromised, asking me to decide for us because I'm their Master and so I should have the final say. That, and I'm the one paying, naturally, so it only makes sense that I should choose where we should go.
So I ended up picking this Korean/Vietnamese family restaurant called Flower Song in the nearby mall in my area that serves both pho and your stereotypical Korean cuisine. It's a restaurant that's been here as long as I can remember living here, a personal favorite of my old man's who took me here frequently during nights when neither of us felt like cooking for ourselves; as it's owned by a Korean family whom my dad was close friends with, this restaurant consequently has a bias towards serving Korean food, but ironically the pho is its claim to fame, and its enduring popularity among both the younger folks and older Asian generations in this area is testament to that. I myself am part of this restaurant's legacy, as I mentioned just earlier.
That, and I haven't had pho in a while, so I decided that now would be the perfect excuse to stop by.
I also realize as I'm pulling up the first wad of vermicelli noodles that this is the first time since my dad died that I've ever said "잘 먹겠습니다" aloud. Such is life, I suppose.
"Mmmmmm ~ ! Hish ish - hish ish amashing, Mashta ~ !" Yuuyuu squeals lightly with delight, having slurped up one mouthful of noodles from her own giant seafood pho bowl. The portions here are quite hearty, another reason why this place is as popular as it is, but given the price tag, I suppose they'd have to be.
"Miss Youkihi, it's quite rude to speak with food in your mouth," Tamamo sternly reprimands her fellow co-Servant. Would it be weird for these two to call each other coworkers? "Did you not learn proper court manners? And you were the one telling me off about not behaving like a proper courtesan earlier..."
"Ah, 对不起! It's just - it's just - " Yuuyuu giddily trembles with satisfaction as she swallows her mouthful of noodles. "It feels like forever since I last ate actual physical food. Aaaaaah, Master, this is just amazing! 吃完了还想吃 ~ "
"This? Amazing? Well, I suppose it's alright..." Tamamo frowns down at her own Flower Song Special pho bowl, which is like a fusion of several of the other pho bowls that the restaurant offers and contains a lot of different kinds of toppings like brisket, a slice of rare steak, flank, tendon, and a few beef balls.
"Not good enough for you?" I ask, taking a sip of water.
"Ah, no, no, I don't mean that at all, Master! It's just..." Tamamo sits up straight in her chair and pumps her fists, her chopsticks held together in one of them. "The food here is so good that I feel like it's directly challenging my skill as a cook! Later tonight, Master, I'll whip up the best traditional Japanese dinner you've ever tasted!"
"That so? I'll look forward to it, but just so you know, I'm quite easily impressed. Especially when I don't really eat traditional Japanese-style home cooking all that often..."
"Aha, then you're in luck! Look forward to tonight, Master!"
"Sure, sure, let's eat up."
And so we blow through about eighty dollars' worth of food in one sitting. Having let the girls know that I was willing to splurge in celebration of our first meal together, in a sense, I encouraged them to order as much as they wanted, and so Yuuyuu took full advantage of that and ordered everything that she thought looked good on the menu, while Tamamo naturally ordered much less. I myself ordered quite a bit, as I quite enjoy the food here too - and as a result, our moderately sized table that is in no way meant to hold all the food we ordered ourselves is covered from one end to the other with dishes, plates, and bowls. First we go through our pho, then we work on the meat entrees like our Korean BBQ ribs and bulgogi, then the fried rice, one plate with diced ham and the other with mini-shrimp, then the fried egg rolls, and the teriyaki plates to round it all out. And towards the end, I order a final round of patbingsu, or shaved ice topped with sweet red beans and paste, and to my surprise, Tamamo gives quite the favorable reaction to it.
"Mmmmm! Master, Master, what's this dessert called? I've never had anything like it!" she asks eagerly, her fox ears twitching this way and that as she shovels another spoonful into her mouth and lets out another cute little gasp. "I-It tastes even better the second time! How can this be...!? M-Mikon ~ !"
I suppose she must really like it if she gives it her signature little verbal tic of approval.
"It's called 팥빙수, it's a Korean dessert that's a custom variation of the usual shaved ice you can find in other places. Just, instead of the usual sugary syrup, sweet red beans and paste are used. This place tops theirs with little slices of rice cake, but I'm not sure if other places do that too. I haven't had this in a long while, and I thought maybe you'd like it, so..."
"Like it? It's so much more than that, I loooove this!" Tamamo shovels another spoonful into her mouth and chews, savoring the subtle sweetness of the red beans seeping into her teeth and tongue, along with the delightful cold crunchiness of the shaved ice. "The texture of the red beans, the elegance of the flavor and taste ~ it's the perfect dessert to help relax the palette after all the heavy food we've just ate!"
The way Tamamo's praising this shaved ice makes it sound like it's the best thing since sliced bread, which I'm not quite sure how to feel about. But I guess if she likes it, then that's all that should matter.
"Glad you enjoyed the food," I nod while taking another bite out of my own pat-bingsu. "Though, if my historical knowledge is correct, since both of you were members of royal courts during your times, on second thought, I'm not sure how much just ordinary food like this would match your palettes...or your expectations..."
"Oh, no, no, you don't have to worry about that, Master!" Yuuyuu says quickly, shaking her right hand at me that holds her spoon. "Even if I was an imperial consort during my living years, good food is good food. Besides, during my earlier years, my family was not very fortunate, and food was hard to come by sometimes. Those were the times that taught me to be thankful for any food that I find delicious!"
"I see, that's reassuring, then. I guess Tamamo's the only one who's got any sort of problem with it, haha."
"O-Only in the sense that I can do better!" Caster pouts back at me again. I'll have to get used to that face, because I get the feeling she'll show that to me a lot while we have our contract active, and luckily for me, I enjoy seeing her make that face. "Just give me a chance, Master! I'll show you what true godlike food really is!"
"Sounds like a deal. I was initially only planning on hitting up the supermarket nearby, but since you want to do some cooking of your own, let's take you to a proper Asian supermarket where you can get whatever you need."
Tamamo excitedly claps her hands upon hearing this. "Yaaaay! You're so considerate, Master ~ ! You have my word and then some that I'll make the best, most divine food you've ever tasted ~ !"
"And don't forget to make enough for all of us."
Caster's excited facade bleeds off almost instantly when she realizes what that would entail. "...but...but Master, you see...my...my cooking...it can only reach its peak quality if...if...if my Master is the sole recipient..."
I narrow my eyes straight back into Tamamo's divine golden eyes. "I call bullshit."
"It's not bullshit! It's true, it's true, it's truuuuueeee! ! ! !" Tamamo cries, shaking both fists this time up and down in a miniature tantrum as Yuuyuu giggles heartily, already halfway through her shaved ice.
"Well, I guess if you insist, I'll take your word for it. But even still, I'm fine with not being able to eat your cooking at its absolute highest level anyway, it might knock me clean out because I'm just a mere mortal, you know? And of course, eating together always makes food taste better."
"Yes, yes! My big sisters when I was young always did what they could to have us all eat together. Eating alone is..." Yuuyuu trails off as she realizes that there's someone sitting with her at her table who likely eats alone a lot. "M-Master, um...now that I think about it...you don't...um...?"
I raise my hand to stop her in her tracks. "Don't worry about it, I'm used to eating alone. Don't feel bad for me."
"Mikoooon...! Now that you mention it, Miss Youkihi, our poor Master's been living and eating all by his lonesome for all this time...!" Tamamo cries out with a whimper this time. "Master's been waiting for all this time to be able to show his love and affection to us, oh, poor thing...!"
"Like I said, it's fine. I'm just glad I got the opportuinty to be able to eat a big meal like this with people. Though it's not like I always eat alone, you know."
"Then do you eat with friends?" Yuuyuu asks, leaning in with her dessert. I think I get the feeling from her that she's quite keen on getting to know more about me.
"Yeah, these days, anyway. I don't keep a whole lot of friends, but I do know one guy pretty well; we graduated from the same high school together and we still keep in touch and grab dinner together every so often. We usually just go out for fast food though...burgers, sandwiches, wings..."
"Burgers, sandwiches, and wings..." Yuuyuu's neck slowly angles upwards as she lets her mind wander to imagine these foods. "...mmm...those sound good too..."
"But we just ate a huge lunch, Miss Youkihi!" Tamamo exclaims. She gestures at the sea of empty plates, dishes, and bowls on our table that one of the casually dressed waiters begins to take away after noticing that we're basically done eating.
"Aha, what can I say? I love food ~ " Yuuyuu giggles cutely.
Eyeing her with disapproval, Tamamo suddenly leans in and pinches a bit of the Foreigner's side.
"Didn't you become known to history as a lady with a bit of plumpness to you? Maybe that explains why you love eating so much," Tamamo critiques her swiftly while Yuuyuu yelps softly with the sudden pinch.
"A-Aaaaaiyaaaa - ! Th-That's a bit of a sore spot for me, Miss Tamamoooooo ~ !" Yuuyuu cries sadly. "I'll have you know that having a bit of plumpness back in those days in China was a mark of beauty! I am called one of the Four Great Beauties of China, may I remind you!"
"So why don't you have a bit of chub to you now? You don't happen to have a Shapeshift skill like me, do you? Spit it out, Miss Youkihi, don't you lie to meeeeee!"
"Tamamo, please, no reaching up another girl's shirt just to see where they're hiding their weight," I calmly but sternly call out to my Caster Servant before she can lose herself in her endeavor to expose Yuuyuu's historical chubbiness, and the strictness in my voice is enough to persuade her to stand down. "I know that historically, it's true that Yuuyuu was apparently known to be more on the chubby side of things, but it's possible that in order to match modern standards of beauty, she turned out to be how she is now: slim and cute."
"O-Oohh..." Yuuyuu raises her hands up to her cheeks slowly like before as she blushes lightly. "Master...called me...slim and...cute...haaaaaoooooo...!"
"Master! Why can't you praise me as much as you do Miss Youkihi! This is simply unfair, I wish to petition for fairer and more equal treatment among us Servants in the workplace!" Tamamo demands indignantly while Yuuyuu sits in her chair, fidgeting with warm embarrassment at the compliment that I've given her.
"Okay. Tamamo, you're the most gorgeous wife any man could ask for."
"BU-HWAAAAAA - "
Having reached for her water and in the midst of taking a sip, Tamamo spits it back out with the force of a space shuttle's boosters in a way that would make Elon Musk proud. Much of that water sprays me like a water hose with a damaged spout, but I merely close my eyes to block the water and immediately begin wiping myself off with a nearby napkin as Tamamo gasps terrifically at what she's done.
"I-I'm so sorry, Master, I - I didn't actually expect you to say anything, so - !" Hurrying over to my side, she quickly uses her own napkin to help dry me and my clothes off.
"It's fine, I got what I deserved. But you've been repeatedly asking me why I'm not saying sweet nothings to you, so isn't this what you want?"
"B-But I didn't think you'd actually have the guts to say them!"
"...why not?"
"Well, um - " Tamamo hesitates like she's dwelling on something that's happened in the past. But I thought Servants don't have memories of their previous incarnations or something?
"But seriously, I didn't think you'd react that badly," I shrug it off.
"Ehehe, it's because Miss Tamamo's the type of pure-hearted maiden who gets embarrassed easily whenever she gets complimented by her Master, am I right, Miss Tamamo ~ ?" Yuuyuu giggles over at the two of us. Incomprehensible noises come gurgling out of Tamamo's throat as Caster tries to think of something to spit back, but I guess Yuuyuu's words aren't far from the truth, as Tamamo ends up keeping her peace with a solid blush in her own cheeks as she finishes drying me down.
"So...let's see...our agenda for today, now that we've eaten lunch...go buy some clothes, hit the bank, go grocery shopping..." I mentally browse through the chores we'll need to get done before we return home. At this, both Tamamo and Yuuyuu gasp in delight, probably at the clothes shopping part.
"Clothes shopping?! Oh, I've always wanted to go shopping here in Americaaaaa ~ !" Tamamo eeks, and Yuuyuu, who's also got the same reaction, adds for her part,
"I wanna pick out all the cutest clothes to wear for Master ~ Miss Tamamo, we might not get along all the time, but surely we can help each other out so that we may pick the very best for Master?"
"Very well! I shall use my authority as the great Tamamo no Mae to administer my supreme knowledge of modern fashion to you, Miss Youkihi! Ooooooh, we're gonna have so much fuuuun ~ !"
Both Caster and Foreigner clasp hands with each other and happily shake them about, looking mightily forward to their little shopping spree that I'm about to send them on. I can feel my wallet screaming silently at me from my pocket, but I guess it's a small price to pay to see these two finally get along.
"Ah! Speaking of which, Master, why do you want to buy clothes for us? You cast a Presence Alteration spell on the two of us so that we can walk around in our usual clothes without people making a big deal out of them, so we don't really need to buy clothes, do we? Not that I'm saying we don't wanna go shopping, of course!" Tamamo asks.
"And if you're not comfortable with us appearing like this, we can always just assume our Spirit forms," Yuuyuu points out.
"Eh, I'd rather not have to cast that spell on you two every time we head out somewhere. And I know I can just have the two of you revert to Spirit form if need be, but I dunno...I'd rather have my Servants with me unless there's a good reason why I need the two of you to be out of sight. Plus, you two looked pretty happy to be going shopping, so why not let you two have fun with it."
"Awww, you're too kind, Master! But...but the bill for all this food surely must've been pretty high already; are you sure you're okay with letting us go shopping for clothes on top of this?" Yuuyuu asks with tangible concern. "I can spend quite a pretty penny myself, as the saying goes here."
"I'll let you know if I'm about to go bankrupt. But for today, I don't think I need to worry about that...and besides, I don't really spend my money; whatever I earn from work, I usually just sit on or put into savings accounts."
Tamamo nods strongly in approval. "I see Master is a man of wise finances; he was saving up his money so that he could use it when he summoned me. Truly a Master of culture, umu, umu!"
I get the feeling she just stole someone else's catch-phrase.
"But what if Master summoned someone else?" Yuuyuu points out, and Tamamo swiftly ignores that by saying loudly over her,
"Ah, now that you mention it, Master, I know that you must be a very busy man with your business and magework, so if you'd like, I'd like to offer my home finance services as your ever-lovely and faithful shrine maiden and wife-in-training! I hear that in modern Japanese culture these days, it's quite customary for the wife of the household to manage the husband's and the family's finances in general ~ "
I give her a difficult expression - because my dad was pretty anal about money matters back when he was showing me the ropes to his business, it's rubbed off pretty hard on me, too. So even if Tamamo's my Servant and it's unlikely that she'll do anything of concern, asking me to let her handle my finances is a little...
"Maybe later; I'm perfectly comfortable with how things are now," I raise my hand at Caster halfway. "If I feel like I need a bit of extra help with it, I'll let you know."
"That's right, Miss Tamamo. You mustn't force yourself upon Master like this - you're quite lucky your Master is not the Emperor of China; he would have you executed for showing such flamboyant displays of familiarity, and that's only if you're lucky," Yuuyuu says matter-of-factly with a finger raised.
To both my and Yuuyuu's surprise, Tamamo actually heeds Foreigner's advice. "Hmm, you are...not wrong. Naturally Master whom I've only met and known for a day would be wary of the Servants he's summoned..." But of course it doesn't take long for her to rebound with double the amount of hyperactive foxy energy that I'm starting to know her for. "But no need to be discouraged, Tamamo-chan! This is an opportunity - think of this as an opportunity! First, my grand plan to make Master succumb to the one and only Ta! Ma! Mo! is through the stomach - yes, yes, there's a foreign saying that 'an army marches on its stomach', after all, and it's the same difference here. Once I've conquered Master's stomach, then it's an easy, straight shot right up to his heart! The heart is located not far from the stomach, after all! Or, at least, I don't think. Obstacles are meant to be overcome, limits are meant to be broken, and Master is meant to be MIIIIIINEEEEE ~ !"
Caster ends her not-so-subtle plan for world conquest with a strong pump of both arms, and there are flames literally coming out of her eyes for no good reason.
I glance slowly over to Yuuyuu, who is also watching her fellow co-Servant with marked concern.
"...Yuuyuu, if I can ask, you're sure that you two didn't get your Classes mixed up?" I ask her just to double-check, and Yuuyuu nods, but even the way she nods indicates to me that she's not even sure herself.
"Um, I know for sure that I'm a Foreigner-Class Servant...but maybe...Miss Tamamo isn't exactly a...Caster...?" she suggests hesitantly. "I believe if my knowledge about her as a Servant is correct, she should be capable of being summoned into different Classes...so maybe she's a Berserker instead?"
"DON'T - you dare say that I'm a Berserker, mikon ~ !" Tamamo's voice at first explodes at Yuuyuu's hypothesis that Tamamo's actually a Berserker, but it immediately cools down when she realizes we're still indoors, and that first word just grabbed the attention of several of the other customers in the restaurant nearby. I've got another spell active on us so that we can freely discuss whatever we want without having to worry about normal people around us accidentally eavesdropping on us and getting really confused as to what we're talking about, but in the event that someone yells something, like what Tamamo just did, the spell can't do much about that.
"Is that, like, a bit of a sore spot for you?" I ask, setting down my own empty pat-bingsu cup on the table after pushing some of the empty plates and bowls over the side of the table so that our waiter can more easily take them away.
"It's not exactly a sore spot...it's merely that one of my tails is that Berserker. And I can't say that she and I get along too well..." Tamamo's tail swishes from side to side behind her; its size makes it hard for my eyes to not look at it when it decides to wag like that.
"Tails? What do you mean?"
Tamamo clears her throat to explain in more detail. "Well, to put it simply, I had a bit of an...incident, let's just say, that caused me to cut off my tails, but get this, Master, they all became Tamamos! So now I've got eight more of me running around out there, all pretending to be me! It's absolutely frustrating to think about!"
"...eight more Tamamos?" I tilt my head up in thought. "...Tamamo, did you just describe hell in three words?"
"BWEEHHHH - " Caster doubles over like she's just been sucker-punched in the gut but immediately recovers, revealing her face that is now twisted into a very odd facial expression that is half amusement and half anger. "M-Master, as - as much I should be agreeing with you, somehow, somehow - ! I feel - very insulted!"
"But aren't the other Tamamos, like, different people than you?"
"Perhaps they have different personalities than me, but they all still came from me, after all!"
"Oh, so you basically consider them as extensions of yourself."
"Yes, yes, exactly! See, Master, you get where I'm coming from!"
"Only in the sense that I know what it's like being around you."
"MIKOOOOON!" Caster clutches her heart and slumps in her chair with exaggerated motion as Yuuyuu bursts into a fit of giggles. "E-Et tu, Master...!? My - my own Master's betrayed me...! Master is betraying meeeeeee! Holy Grail-kun, I beg you, let me renegotiate my contract with Masteeeeer!"
I suddenly stare back at Caster in abject horror. "Wait, that's illegal."
"Illegal my lovely pillow-soft ass, Master! It's illegal for you to treat me like this! I'm your ever-faithful, omnipotent divine foxy shrine maiden and you're treating me like I'm some sort of useless goddess whose only skill is to drink herself silly every night!"
"Well, it doesn't really help that you haven't even done anything that would let me know you're an ever-faithful, omnipotent divine foxy shrine maiden."
"That's because we've barely known each other for a day!"
"So why are you already trying to renegotiate your contract? Also, who the hell is Holy Grail-kun."
"Ah, I know! It must be the Outer God whose power I'm borrowing to be a Foreigner!" Yuuyuu suggests cheerfully, and at this, Tamamo flings her arms around her, and Yuuyuu lets out a bit of a high-pitched gasp when her co-Servant's arms tighten around her shoulders.
"Holy Grail-kuuuunnnn, pleeeeeeeeaaaase, let me renegotiate my contract with Master! Make him not tease me so muuuuuuuccchhh..."
"There, there, Master will treat you better soon enough ~ " Yuuyuu sings, patting Tamamo on the head lightly. "In the meantime, I'll give you...this!"
Picking up the unused table knife at the edge of our table, Foreigner presents it to Caster.
"This is an exclusive, one-of-a-kind contract-negotiating tool called the Friend Maker! In addition to letting you be able to renegotiate the terms of any contract you form with a Master, you can use it to make a whole bunch of friends! Call now, and we'll double your order, absolutely free ~ !"
"You're saying some really dangerous stuff, Yuuyuu. On a whole bunch of levels," I tell my second Servant darkly as Tamamo takes the table knife from Yuuyuu with a look of contemplative fascination, and Foreigner puts her hand over her right eye, hitting me with a peace sign and a little "Teehee ~ !" "Also, where the hell did you get a table knife from? We didn't even need a knife to eat any of the food we ordered."
"Ahaha...that's a good question, Master, because I don't know either!" Yuuyuu smiles innocently at me. Damn, I thought she was going to be relatively transparent and easy to read, thanks to her childishly earnest personality, but I suppose she's not a Foreigner-Class for nothing. There's also the part where my Servants are calling a table knife a "Friend-Maker", which should make me quite concerned, but I'll worry about that later for now.
As Tamamo and Yuuyuu take a few minutes to themselves to discuss the merits and possibilities of their newly instated "Friend-Maker(tm)", I pull out my phone to check my emails, as I have my work email registered with my phone's web browser so that I can see any urgent emails I receive anywhere I go. Wait, I mentioned being able to see my work email from my phone two chapters ago already, what am I doing.
Narrative redundancy aside, there's only one new email, but the preview message catches my eye immediately, so I open it to read the email in full. Tamamo's the first between the two Servants to notice that I'm poring over my phone with a rather serious look on my face, so naturally she asks me what's up.
"Master, is something the matter? You've got a serious look on your face right now..." Tamamo mentions cautiously, but Yuuyuu has quite the...different reaction.
"Haooooo...Master looking so serious like that...haaaaawawawa..." she squeals faintly, and once more she clutches her cheeks and shakes her head giddily.
"Miss Youkihi, you really like it when Master looks like that, don't you?" Tamamo notes quietly to her fellow co-Servant, who nods enthusiastically.
"Doesn't he look so...so cooooool? Aaaah, I could look at his face when he's looking like that all day ~ "
"Usually I get told that whenever I look like this, people tend to stay away from me because they think I'm about to come at them or something," I remark with a smirk, lowering my phone once I'm done reading that email.
"Oh, is that why you don't have very many friends, Master?" Tamamo gleefully grins at me with her hand over her mouth, clearly trying to tease me back.
So I stare emptily back at her. "What are these 'friends' you speak of? Is that something you can summon?"
"Well, you did summon the two of us," Yuuyuu says adorably, matching her words with a tilt of her head that's just as cute.
"Oof." I put my right hand over my heart like I'm sixteen again, getting up from my chair in school to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. "You right."
"Friendly reminder, though, that I was supposed to be the only friend that Master ever needed..." Tamamo pouts grumpily again, but she focuses her attention back on my phone and why I was looking at it so seriously a moment ago. "Anyways, Master, was there something wrong? Even if you summoned us for your contract work with Chaldea, we are still your Servants at the end of the day, so if you need our services for anything else, you need not even ask!"
I nod back at her quickly. "I know, I know. It's just something involving some magework that I've been doing lately..."
"Oh? Do fill us in on that, Master. Like Miss Tamamo said, we'd be more than happy to help you, though of course that just goes without saying," Yuuyuu adds.
"Hmm...sure, since eventually I may have to ask you two to give me a hand in these one of these days," I nod, "but first, let me give you some context: as you might already have figured out, I'm a freelancing mage who does contractual work for, well, anyone who bothers asking me, I guess. In addition to that, I'm what's known as the 'Resident Guardian' of this area; I'm part of a larger organization called the Resident Guardian Association - yeah, very imaginative name, I know - or just the RGA for short, which is like a group of other Resident Guardians like me so that we have a way to network with each other if need be, though usually we leave each other alone and stay out of each other's territories. The reason why I bring the RGA up is because thanks to their networking, people who're looking to employ mages to get some work done, whatever it might be, can contact me to hit me up with contracts or other miscellaneous jobs that they think they need my help for.
"I recently accepted a contract put forth by this county's police department, because apparently they need some assistance in tracking down some drug rings in some areas of LA county that are beginning to rise in influence. Normally I wouldn't accept a contract like this, since this kind of problem is something I stay out of, mainly because that should be the police's responsibility and not mine. But after doing some preliminary research upon the police commissioner's insistence, I found that there's a chance that someone's trying to use this recent rise in drug gangs to try to establish a circle of influence in my territory. I doubt whoever's doing it aware that I know what they're up to - well, at least for now, they'll know soon enough - or maybe they might be doing it intentionally. Either way, I obviously don't like that, so I accepted this job. The email I was looking at just now was some new information that came in from one of my contacts in the police department that I'm working with."
"I get it, I get it. So on the surface, you're being a good guy and working with the local police to get rid of the bad guys, but you're using this as an opportunity to figure out who's trying to encroach on your territory?" Yuuyuu nods understandingly. "Yuuyuu knows about this kind of stuff. Imperial court life back then was very cutthroat, even for me."
"If you'd like, Master, I can go rampaging through the county to find out who it is. Just say the word, and all I need to do is go 'MIKON ~ !' and half the county's gone ~ " Tamamo beams proudly, and she even gives me a loud snap of her fingers.
"Let's not do that. I don't even know for sure if there really is someone out there who's trying to undermine my status as Resident Guardian here; I need to have enough evidence for that first before anything else."
I put my phone away while talking as the waiter hands me the check, and I pull out my wallet to place my credit card on the little tray.
"But we can worry about that later. For now, let's see...I think the Uniqlo right down the street's the only clothing store here, so if you don't find what you want there, then we can head down to another mall sometime later this week."
At the mention of clothes shopping, both girls reignite their previous excitements and immediately begin daydreaming about the outfits and clothes they'll inevitably look for, or at least look for similar enough clothes.
"Master, Master, do you prefer cute outfits? Or beautiful ones? Or, maybe if you're bold enough..." Tamamo leans in all sultry-like, "...the naughty ones...?"
"Haaaoo, Miss Tamamo, you mustn't start with the lewd ones right off the bat! What did I say before and not going too far too fast?!"
"Tch, Miss Youkihi's always gotta stop me before I can make things get good..."
"No, she's being completely reasonable, Tamamo. But whatever clothes you end up getting, make sure you have some casual clothes for whenever we need to head out and some clothes you can wear around the house."
"Oh, so basically lingerie?"
"Stop it, Tamamo."
"Aha, I'm just kiiiiiidding ~ " Tamamo quickly ducks her head to pull up the table knife that Yuuyuu's handed her. "Friend-Maker-kun, how do I get Master to let me walk around the house in sexy underwear?"
"Yuuyuu, I'm contemplating putting Tamamo under a restraint order, can you help me enforce it?"
"Of course, Master ~ !"
"Aaaaah! Miss Youkihi's planning to betray me too! I thought we were friends, friends!"
"I'm the Holy Grail-kun, Miss Tamamo. I don't know anything about friends."
"MIKOOOON!"