A/N: Sorry for the delay. I had some kind of mental block that just stopped me from posting even though this has been wrapped up in a bow and ready for posting for the last three weeks. Hopefully, I can get the next chapter out more quickly. Thanks to everyone who's taken the time to review!

June 30, 1978

It was over. Never again would she take her breakfast in the Great Hall. Never again would she dodge past Mrs. Norris in the corridors or watch as Professor Flitwick prepared the tree for Christmas. There would be no more of Hagrid and his well-trained boar hound or the disturbing grating of chains when she happened past the Bloody Baron. Her time at Hogwarts had come to an end.

Most of her classmates had taken on an almost frenetic energy in preparation for their release, like the whole thing was one big joke. All week, James, Sirius, and Alice had darted through the castle bidding goodbye to everything in sight – from the portraits to the professors to the furniture. Lily approached her end at Hogwarts with gravity, trepidation.

James had asked her to join him outside before they were set to leave the castle for good. She found him on the hill overlooking the Black Lake, where they'd shared their first kiss and their first unofficial date. He'd discarded his robes at the base of an elm and swung his arms back and forth erratically.

"Alright, you?" Lily said, leaning in to kiss him when she drew near.

He turned, only allowing her to kiss him on the cheek. Looking at him more carefully, Lily sensed a nervous tension in his body. Perhaps the end of their final term had finally sunken in.

"It's beautiful out today, isn't it? Picturesque," James said.

Lily followed his gaze out over the lake. Silently, she disagreed. Yes, the sky was clear and the sun was high. For once the waters of the Black Lake were even blue, cast in a friendly light by the sun. It was the wind that bothered her, stronger than a breeze and emerging seemingly from nowhere. It ruffled the leaves of the trees and blew past the grass giving the landscape a life of its own that unnerved her.

"We don't have much time before we have to leave," Lily reminded him.

"I know, but there's something I wanted to ask you first." He took hold of both her hands, and Lily was filled with the sudden and inexplicable dread that he was going to chuck her then and there. "Lily…I love you. I love you more than anyone I've ever known. You're perfect, or well, practically perfect…perfect for me, let's say, and while my life was pretty good before you were a part of it, it wasn't nearly as good."

James delivered his speech while staring fixedly into her eyes, gone wide at the sappiness of it all. She was touched by his words, but the flipping of her stomach was more anxious than pleased. Refusing to contemplate where this might be going, her brain shut down entirely, and she stared mutely into his earnest and beloved face.

"I love you, too," Lily managed on auto-pilot.

Smiling, James said, "I know, and that's why I wanted to ask you…Lily, will you marry me?"

The wind stopped, like the world had gone still at James' unexpected proposal. Lily was certainly still with the weight of it. She found herself thankful that wizard tradition didn't require the man to go down on one knee because Lily didn't think she could bear to look down at him in that moment, see his earnest eyes gazing back. Better to look up like she always did. It would have been even better if she could look away for a second to gain some composure, but the stillness had paralyzed her and she was helpless but to look him directly in the eye.

When speech finally returned to her, it came snapping back like an elastic, unplanned and with a jolt.

"Oh my god, what were you thinking?" Lily gasped. James jaw snapped together convulsively, and Lily wished she could take back the words, replace them with something gentler, but she couldn't stop talking let alone rewind time. "How can we commit to that? We don't even know what our life and our relationship are going to look like outside of Hogwarts."

"I see."

"Don't do that," Lily said. Her emotions were a see-saw: on one side sat blind-panic and on the other irritation. With just a word, James could tip her either way.

"Do what?" James demanded.

"You have a tone," Lily said.

"I don't have a tone."

"Yes, you do."

There was no point in denying it. James was angry, and his voice had taken on the serrated edge of a knife.

James worked his jaw some more. From its tensing, Lily could see him consider forgiving her and then retract the absolution as if she was inside his own mind. If she could see herself in the mirror, she was sure there would be similar signs of frustration on her face.

"Fine, I'm upset," James said.

"Why are you upset? I love you. Just because I don't want to get married doesn't mean that's changed."

"Because what does it matter what our future looks like outside of Hogwarts? From where I'm standing, I can't picture a scenario that doesn't have you and me being together. So clearly, you view our relationship differently." James said, voice rising towards the end until he was shouting his ire over the lake.

Lily closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Remus had taught her to take a few counts when her pride felt threatened, said it prevented him from making costly mistakes all the time. When she finished the breathing exercise, she could see their situation more clearly, see the fear and hurt in James' eyes.

As softly as she could, Lily said, "James, the future is this big and scary thing, and I don't know what it looks like for me or for anyone else right now. I've never been able to picture it. I don't have the kind of surety about my life and my place in the world that you've always had. This isn't about who loves who more. I love you so, so much, and the way I see the future, what I can see of it, of course I want to be with you. But I don't have that confidence that what I can picture is what the future holds in store. I can't make promises. So, since the last thing I ever want to do is make a decision that hurts you, I can't marry you."

Tears welled in her eyes, but they didn't bud over. Hurting him now, even if it was to spare him from the possibility of a much greater hurt later, was awful. Worse than being the object of his anger. He truly listened and digested what she had to say though, and the anger in his face leaked away. James was a far cry from happy, but maybe he'd conducted his own breathing exercises because he was calming down fast.

Squeezing her hand, still locked with his, James said, "I'm not nearly as confident about the future as you think I am. It may seem that way, but there's a big question mark hanging over my life, too. Who knows what this war is going to turn into or what our options are. I don't know where we'll go next or if we'll be able to stick with our friends, and that's terrifying for me. But I figure if we're together, nothing on the other side can be that bad."

"I will be there, James. I will," Lily promised.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him, feet lifting straight off the ground, so that she could lay her ear to his shoulder. The impulse to bind them together through marriage made sense to her. No different than her desire to bind him to her through their hug. She breathed a shaky sigh when his arms wrapped tight as a vice around her in return.

Against his shoulder, Lily said, "And just because I don't want to marry you right now doesn't mean I never want to. I mean…you don't need to worry about whether I'm a part of the future you can't predict. When the time's right, I'll be here, and then we'll talk."

"You're very reasonable," James said.

"One of us has to –"

Lily was cut off by a bevy of hoots and jeers. Reluctantly, she broke their embrace and turned to see all of their friends racing up the hill to join them. They were all bedecked in muggle top hats and so much glitter that they'd be leaving their mark everywhere they went for days.

"You two are sickening!" Shelia shouted.

Remus raced forward with an extra top hat for each of them. As Lily adjusted the hat and inventoried her friends, Marlene threw fistfuls of glitter in their direction.

Under his breath, Lily heard Sirius murmur to James, "Did she –?" but James only shook his head in answer. There was no time to talk about his rejected proposal, however, because everyone was talking at once about their final sending off. Mary was so petite that her top hat kept falling to the side, and Marlene took great pains to correct it for her, cooing and prodding affectionately. Peter told everyone how he'd already reserved them boats, so they didn't have to rush to the dock just yet. Alice loudly bid adieu to the elm tree behind them all.

Lily continued to hold James' hand amidst the chaos. The familiar voices and mannerisms of her friends were a comfort. She didn't know whether to smile or cry.

When the time came, they all walked together to the dock. As they first arrived at Hogwarts, they would leave it. Hagrid was down by the lake, organizing the students into the boats that would bear them to the train station. In her first year, Lily had crossed the lake alongside Severus and Mary, then a stranger. Had she remained friends with Severus, he still wouldn't have fit inside the boat with them any longer. They'd all grown, even Lily with her oft-mocked height. She couldn't believe how small the boats were. While she wasn't paying attention they'd all changed.

Lily was surprised when Mary settled into the front of her boat. Lily would have predicted that Mary would make her departure with Marlene, but the nostalgia of their first day at Hogwarts won out. Marlene boarded with Alice instead. Everyone pairing up in the same combinations as they'd first arrived.

"We've known each other for a long time, haven't we?" Lily said quietly while they waited to set sail.

Mary craned her neck to look back at Lily. "I've enjoyed every minute of it."

Fanned out in a pyramid formation, the boats began their journey across the Lake. Ripples played across the water, a reminder that nothing remained still forever. Lily's heart leapt to her throat and a hundred memories competed for attention in her mind. She wasn't ready to leave. Not yet.

Just like when she first arrived, however, the boats didn't wait for anyone's nerves. Everything was so familiar that Lily thought back to that first trip: her fear of the unknown and worries that she might never fit in with her classmates. Back then, she hadn't the slightest what the future held for her, and yet, the journey had led her to the most marvelous experience a person could ask for. She didn't know the future, but perhaps, like last time, the destination would be worth the fear.

There was one difference between her first journey and her last. This time, there was no awestruck delight as she laid eyes on the castle for the first time. Hogwarts was decidedly and truly behind her.