Again, I can only apologise for the wait for this update but with the nature of my job I also can't promise that the next one will be any quicker. I work on the story as much as I am able to and steal any 5 minutes that I can allow for it, that time is unfortunately few and far between sometimes. As I have said before though, this story is so often at the forefront of my mind and I'm always thinking of little plot lines and direction I can take it in. This story is like my therapy so rest assure that I will not be giving up on it or abandoning. I hate it when authors do that!
Thank you to everyone who has been following this story from the beginning (you are greatly appreciated) and thank you to everyone who has just discovered this story and has taken the time to read it all.
AlsethGosia- I have such a massive soft spot for Bella and I think she needs a hug too…if she would ever let anyone that close. Part of this chapter is more from Bellatrix's point of view and has much more Andromeda so I hope you like it.
marianthilouka1954 and andreabaileyhc- I have updated! I'm sorry it took so long.
Avadan232- Thank you for your lovely message and for giving me the kick up the arse I needed to get this chapter published.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. I am simply borrowing them for my own selfish gain.
"Where are you going?" Narcissa asked frantically as she scurried along slightly behind her eldest sister.
"Nowhere Cissy." Bellatrix replied as she carried on marching down the corridor and tried desperately to stop herself from sighing. Narcissa could be incredibly irritating at times, but her heart was always in the right place. So Bellatrix tried her very best not to snap whenever she started to get exasperated with her little sister.
Narcissa darted forward a few paces until she was finally next to the black haired girl; she reached out and slipped her hand into her sister's in order to slow her progression somewhat. "You can't be going nowhere Bella."
Bellatrix stopped her steaming and turned to look at the blonde girl's eager expression and her mood softened slightly. "Well of course I'm going somewhere, but I was trying to politely say that I wanted to be alone."
"But you have wanted to be on your own all week." Narcissa replied petulantly. A few months ago she might have paired the tone with a stamped foot but she stopped herself because she was trying her best to be a lady and ladies did not stamp their foot. "You haven't been yourself since your argument with that new girl."
"My mood has nothing to do with Ross." Bellatrix said with a slight frown, as she began studying her finger nails intensely. "Believe me she is not that important."
"Oh, of course Bellatrix." A third voice spoke up, its tone filled with mirth. "I'm sure it would be much easier for us to believe that if you could look our little sister in the eye."
"And what does where I am looking have to do with anything Andromeda?" Bellatrix snapped, her slight frown becoming more of an outright scowl now.
"I was simply suggesting that should dear Cissy catch a glimpse into your mind she might just see how unimportant Hermione really is to you." Andromeda smirked as she saw how her sister's cheeks coloured.
"Narcissa wouldn't use her ability to betray my privacy." Bellatrix said with more confidence than she actually felt.
"Bella, you know I can't always help what I see of others minds." Narcissa said in a small voice laced with guilt. "Especially when feelings are particularly strong. As hard as I try I can't block some thoughts out."
"You suggesting that there is privacy to betray confirms all of my thoughts quite nicely." Andromeda prodded as she slung an arm around her blonde sister's shoulders. "Come on Cissy, let's leave Bellatrix to sulk over her crush. I'll take you for a walk to the Black Lake, we'll see if we can entice the giant squid close to the shore again."
"I am not sulking." Bellatrix called down the corridor after her sisters' retreating forms.
Andromeda looked over her should with a beaming grin. "It's funny how you rush to deny the sulking and yet say nothing at all about my suggestion that you have a crush."
Bellatrix rolled her eyes and fought with the urge to draw her wand and curse the nearest suit of armour. This whole situation was frustrating her to no end. She was frustrated that she fixated on things so much, whether it be people, studying or perfecting spells she just couldn't stop herself from pursuing them with absolute intensity. She was frustrated that her fixation on her work had led to her forgetting about her commitment to meet Hermione. She was frustrated that she cared so much that she had upset the girl. She was frustrated that Hermione wouldn't accept her apology. And she was frustrated that Andromeda had somehow now got involved and would inevitably start meddling. A frustrated Bellatrix was not a good thing; she needed to find a way to blow off some steam.
As if the Gods had heard her plea who should wander around the corner but a young, scrawny sullen looking Slytherin boy with shoulder length blond hair: Lucius Malfoy. His face paled when he laid eyes on Bellatrix and he seemed to have a moment of internal debate where he thought about turning back the way he had come but instead puffed his chest out a little and carried on along his initial route. "I'm looking for your sister." Lucius stated somewhat nervously as he stopped, what he hoped was, a safe distance from Bellatrix. "Have you seen her?"
Bellatrix smirked in a satisfied sort of way. "I haven't seen Andromeda in a while actually. Sorry."
Lucius sighed, catching onto Bellatrix's intentional obstinance pretty quickly. "I was talking about Narcissa."
"Of course." Bellatrix said in a voice filled with mock innocence. "How silly of me."
Lucius stood for a few minutes staring at the black haired witch with an expectant look before rolling his eyes and sighing. "Well, have you seen her or not?"
"Now, now Lucy. No need to be rude." Bellatrix retorted, her smirk growing as she saw how her comment made the boy begin to squirm.
"I think I'll just find her by myself." Lucius said in a voice that he had obviously tried very hard to make sound confident but his eyes dropped to the floor. "It was a pleasure as always Bellatrix."
"What do you want with my baby sister anyway?" Bellatrix asked as she stepped in front of Lucius, blocking his path as he attempted to scurry passed her.
"What do you mean, what do I want with her?" Lucius threw back, his eyes went wide at the girl's sudden proximity and he swallowed a lump in his throat. "I…I wish to speak to her, that's all."
"Really, is that all?" Bellatrix derided. "It just seems odd to me, that a fifth year like you would be seeking out the company of a third year like my sister."
"Am I not allowed to speak to Narcissa just because she is a few years younger than me?" The blond boy asked as he raised his chin defiantly.
"I would have no problem with you speaking to my sister." Bellatrix replied as she narrowed her eyes and took a step towards Lucius. As he tried to shrink away from her he effectively pinned himself between the stone wall and her imposing figure. "I have a problem with you leering at her. I have a problem with you creeping around after her. I have a problem with the way that you look at her. She is a child."
"I..I don't leer at her." Lucius stuttered, he looked as if he wished the wall behind him would just go ahead and swallow him whole. "She is to be my wife someday. Our fathers have decided it."
"Oooooo, your father." Bellatrix's mocked, her eyes flared with anger at his comment and the boy seemed to physically shrink. She shook her head at how pathetic he looked right now. "She may become your wife someday, but for right now she is MY sister and what I say goes."
"And what exactly are you saying Bellatrix?" Lucius pushed, but as soon as the words left his lips he looked like he regretted it.
Bellatrix took another step forward, her body almost touching his but not quite. Still she loomed over him; she was so close now that she could see beads of sweat beginning to erupt at his hairline. "Stay away from my little sister because if I ever have to get rid of another love bite from her neck courtesy of your raging hormones I will not be held accountable for my actions." With the threat ringing through the air she walked away, leaving a slightly shaking Lucius still stood against the wall looking entirely too terrified to move. She loved messing with Lucius; it always made her feel better.
Bellatrix was lay on her bed with her arm thrown haphazardly across her eyes, her dorm mates had been in here earlier but she had effectively scared them off with her sour attitude. As much as she didn't want to be thinking about Hermione she couldn't seem to keep her mind off of her for long. The bushy haired girl had tried to make conversation with her while they were working together in Potions, but she had ignored her. The other girl had tried to complement her on her research for the Elixir to Induce Euphoria but she had just waved her off without acknowledging her comments. Hermione had tried to come and speak to her during breakfast one morning but she only responded in grunts until Andromeda had taken pity on the girl and engaged her with actual speech. Bellatrix wanted to say it was because she was angry with the girl but she wasn't; she was embarrassed. She was embarrassed that she had bared too much to a person that she didn't even really know. She spent so much time building up her defences in order to keep the entire world out; she had spent so much time building up a reputation as an intimidating bitch so that everyone would keep their distance. It had worked perfectly until Hermione had come along; the girl had got under her skin with her curious mind and her outright intelligence and her kind eyes. She did not try with people; a lot of things in the world intrigued her but never people, not until Hermione. And now she was fixated on the girl and she was torn between cutting the girl some slack, because she was obviously trying to fix things, and continuing to keep her at arms-length so that she couldn't get hurt. It scared her that it even crossed her mind that Hermione might have the power to hurt her because she knew that the girl could only have that power if she had given it to her in the first place. She loved her sisters dearly, she loved them more than anything, she would die for them, but even they were kept at a distance. She protected them, she took care of them, she gave them advice, she supported them but she never let them do any of that for her in return. She couldn't let them see her being that weak.
The door to her dorm room was flung open violently, the wood banging against the wall with a resounding boom as a result of the force. It was like déjà vu from when she snuck into Hermione's room last week, only much more aggressive and in reverse as she was now the one being barged in on. A small part of her hoped it was Hermione bursting in to demand she stop being so hard faced and start talking to her again, and she would agree to that obviously. She had made the girl suffer enough; as much as she wanted to make her grovel she would draw the line at that. Her tenuous hope was crushed pretty quickly as she peeled her arm away from her face and her eyes fell on her sister's form in the doorway.
"Narcissa is exceedingly mad with you." Andromeda said as she stepped into the room and kicked the door closed unceremoniously behind her. "Something about you emasculating Lucius earlier today?"
"Hello Andie, won't you come in." Bellatrix replied flatly, when her comment was met with only a raised eyebrow from her sister she sighed and continued. "Narcissa will get over it; I didn't touch Lucius this time. I just threatened him a little."
Andromeda snorted out a sarcastic laugh as she approached her sister's bed, staring down at her until she reluctantly scooted over the allow her younger sister to lie down next to her. "Why Bellatrix, how you've grown."
"Don't act like you care Andie." Bellatrix scowled as she rolled onto her side to face the other girl and propped her head up on her arm. "You hate him almost as much as I do."
"He's a slimy prat." Andromeda nodded and scrunched up her face in disgust. "But Narcissa adores him, she always has."
"Did you know that Father has already promised her to Abraxas Malfoy?" Bellatrix asked, the disgust in her voice matching that of the look that was previously gracing her sister's face. "She has only just turned thirteen."
"I didn't know, but I'm not surprised." Andromeda said squeezing her eyes shut briefly as she let the news sink in. "We all know we are just commodities to Daddy dearest and Narcissa has always been his most prized possession. It was an inevitability that her virginity would be sold to the highest bidder."
"Yes, his flower amongst the ugly thorns. You and I have always been such disappointments to him." Bellatrix laughed lightly and Andromeda joined in.
"Is it bad that disappointing him makes me feel pretty proud of myself?" The younger girl asked, the chuckle still resounding in her voice.
"Not at all Andie." Bellatrix answered softly, reaching out to move a stray lock of hair out of her sister's eyes. "I'd be more worried about you if you didn't feel that way. The man is an idiot."
"That is being too kind." Andromeda grumbled.
Bellatrix beamed at her sister's distain for their Father and how closely it mirrored her own. "As pleasant as this little chat is, I'm sure you didn't come here to discuss Narcissa's relationship or even our Father."
"As fascinating as I find our little sister's, vaguely inappropriate, relationship with an older boy. No that is not why I came." Andromeda clarified. "I came to check on you."
Bellatrix sighed as she flopped down onto her back again. "I do not need checking on Andie."
"Shut up Bella." Andromeda said lightly. "You have barely been paying attention to any conversations that Cissy or I have had with you for the last week. You have spent no time in the library and all of your time on the Astronomy Tower stewing. And I know you only torment Lucius when you need to release some tension."
"When did you get so perceptive little one?" Bellatrix asked affectionately as a light smile slipped on to her features.
"I've always been perceptive Bella; you have just never been perceptive enough to notice it before." This time Andromeda was the one to turn to face her sister. "Talk to me, I know something is bothering you."
"Andie, it's nothing really." Bellatrix replied as she stared at ceiling. "You know how I get. It will pass."
"Yes, I know how you get. You obsess." Andromeda reached out and turned her sister's face towards her. "Is your current obsession a certain bushy haired Ravenclaw by any chance?"
"Is there any point in denying it at this point?" The older witch asked.
"Not really." Andromeda smirked at her sister's lack of fight on the subject, she liked when Bellatrix was willing to open up to her little. The times were few and far between. "I already know you've taken a shine to her."
"Taken a shine to her," Bellatrix mocked, her words lacking their usual bite as she actually felt a little nervous at the direction of this conversation. "Who are you, Grandmother Rosier?"
Andromeda just rolled her eyes and shook her head at her sister's pathetic attempt at avoidance. "I see how you struggle when it comes to her Bella. You push her away and ignore her when she is near you and yet you spend every second that she is away from you searching for a glimpse of her."
"Am I really that obvious?" Bellatrix asked, a hint of pink creeping on to her cheeks.
"Only to me." Andromeda reassured. "Cissy hadn't noticed anything until you forgot to protect your mind when Hermione came over to speak to you the other day."
Bellatrix sighed heavily. "So that is why she was looking so guilty earlier?"
"I've tried to make her feel better about it, but you know how she is." The younger girl pulled a resigned face. "It is hardly her fault that you go to mush around the girl."
Bellatrix's head snapped towards her sister. "I do not go to mush"
"Ok maybe you don't go to mush." Andromeda replied as she tried to stifle a smile. "But she has definitely got under your skin."
"I don't know why she has though." Bellatrix almost wailed as she covered her face with her hands.
"Because she isn't scared of you." Andromeda offered. "Well maybe she is a little scared of you. But she doesn't let that dominate her thinking about you. It's almost like she wants to push passed all of your… bullshit and figure you out. Nobody other than Cissy and I have ever done that before."
Bellatrix's expression seemed to soften at her sister's words. "I thought I was supposed to be the mature older sister in this situation?"
"You can't be the mature older sister when you are acting like a love sick puppy." Andromeda mocked with a supercilious smirk plastered across her features.
"Shut up." Bellatrix laughed as she gave the younger girl a strong enough shove to send her sprawling from the bed. She rolled over so that she was looking down at the girl who was in a heap on the floor and stuck out her tongue, thoroughly satisfied with herself.
"I was going to ask you if you still needed to blow off some steam." Andromeda said as she rubbed her elbow where it had clattered against the floorboards as she had landed. "But evidently you do."
Within minutes the two dark haired girls found themselves outside of the Room of Requirement, having raced each other the whole way there. Bellatrix had won by a very narrow margin and both girls were breathing heavily as they paced in front of the, currently blank, stretch of wall. The ornate doorway materialised from the brick and the sisters jostled with each other as they reached for the doorknob at the same time. Andromeda got there first this time and she yanked the door open victoriously and marched into the cavernous room that had appeared. The walls of the room were the same grey stone as the rest of the castle but they were bedecked with banners featuring the Slytherin emblem and the Black family crest intermittently. The floor was slightly cushioned and bounced a little as the girls walked across it, the whole placed seemed to be illuminated by a light that had no source. The only thing in the room was a dummy on wheels that sat in one corner, its robes were ripped and slashed in places and its face was so charred that it didn't even look human anymore.
"We don't have to do this you know." Bellatrix spoke up, her voice echoing around the room. "I feel much better now that we've had a bit of a chat."
"Awwww is big bad Bella scared?" Andromeda cooed in the most facetious tone she could summon up.
Bellatrix's face turned murderous as she stared daggers at her younger sister. "I am not scared of anything."
"Perhaps you're not scared of me." Andromeda smirked. "But you do hate losing and you have yet to beat me." She hinted at the numerous times they had found themselves in this very room doing exactly what they were about to do.
"I…." Bellatrix began but was cut off by a jet of red light that hit her square in the chest and sent her flying backwards straight onto her arse. She looked up through the pile of curls that had fallen in her face and a growl erupted from deep in her throat. "That was a big mistake Andromeda."
In a flash Bellatrix was back up on her feet and had sent her own yellow hex firing towards her sister so quickly that it could barely be seen. But with a twist of her body and swish of her robes Andromeda was safely out of the way and smirking. She was always the much more athletic duellist; she saw it as a sport. She believed that by training the body you could keep a step ahead of your opponent, both metaphorically and physically. "Come now Bella. You will have to be better than that."
Bellatrix slashed her arm through the air and another beam of yellow crackled across the room, she always worked more on instinct. Acting whenever she saw an opening or perceived weakness and not thinking about the knock on effect. Despite the ferocity of the spell Andromeda seemed to sidestep it easily but an errant curl gently smouldered as it settled back on her shoulder suggesting how narrowly she had been missed. Her chestnut eyes widened ever so slightly as she reached up to pat the lock of hair and put a stop to the gentle wisps of smoke that were rising from it. "Is that better?" Bellatrix mocked as she flung her arms wide and made to advance on her sister.
"Not much." Andromeda returned in a flat tone as she raised her wand and shot a blue spell in Bellatrix's direction. The darker girl tried to step out of the way but Andromeda had anticipated her sister's move and aimed slightly to the left. The spell hit the older girl in the shoulder and forced her to take a few steps backwards to steady herself. "You're spells are strong, they always are. But you leave yourself too open when you duel. You let your anger rule your head."
"Well getting knocked on your arse without warning will generally serve to make you angry." Bellatrix replied as she began to circle around the younger girl. Andromeda kept a careful eye on her opponent and turned subtly on the spot so that she didn't at any point have her back to her sister. They had done this too many times. Andromeda knew all of her tricks. If Bellatrix wasn't gaining the upper hand she would resort to dirty tricks. "You know I always work best when I'm fuelled by anger, I need something to feed off when I duel." The older girl sent a hex towards her sister, but with another graceful twist Andromeda avoided it, earning herself another growl of frustration from Bellatrix.
"Allowing anger to be your fuel is not a bad thing, you have to draw from something." Andromeda confirmed as she spun her wand between her fingers, trying to act nonchalant but ensuring that she stayed vigilant. Bellatrix was entirely predictable in all of her unpredictability. "But you need to be certain that you are in control of the anger. Otherwise you become sloppy."
Bellatrix laughed cruelly. "And how do you control your anger Andromeda?" The younger girl narrowed her eyes at the older; she knew there was more to this question than the innocent words would lead her to believe. She knew the question was loaded she could tell by the look in her sister's eyes. "Is it by fucking your mudblood?"
"You bitch." Andromeda spat as she whipped her wand at her sister, taking the girl's legs out from under her and leaving her crumpled on the cushioned floor. The younger girl sent a particularly strong stinging jinx at Bellatrix, it struck her on the hand and she hissed in pain. Ted was much more than a mudblood; he was a good, kind boy who made her happy, who made her laugh every time she was with him. She sent another stinging jinx at Bellatrix but she managed to throw herself out of the way this time and the spell just left a scorch mark on the floor.
"Touched a nerve did I?" Bellatrix grinned up at her sister before she threw herself at the girl's legs sending her toppling over in a heap on the floor too. The floor had not always been cushioned, it had just been solid stone like the walls at one point but after one too many injuries the room had decided it was time for a change. The older witch clambered on top of Andromeda and attempted to pin her hands to the floor but she was being fought off frantically. "So much for controlled anger."
"You know that I hate it when you call Ted a mudblood." Andromeda spat as she bucked her hips and threw her sister off to the side so that she could scrabble back to her feet. "You only do it to annoy me. You care as much about Ted's blood status as I do about the gender of your conquests."
Bellatrix threw a red curse towards her sister from her spot on the floor; Andromeda leaned to the side to avoid the spell. The older girl took the chance to pounce up from the ground and advance on the other. "The girl's I have bedded could hardly be called conquests Andie. They all gave in to me far too easily for that."
"You're disgusting Bellatrix, must you be so vulgar?" Andromeda snapped as she pulled a face full of disgust, she swirled her wand and a torrent of water washed over her sister leaving her gasping and shell shocked. "You shouldn't lower yourself to sleeping with people who hand themselves over so willingly."
"Oh I'm sure Ted Tonks fights you off with a stick when you creep into his bedroom at night." Bellatrix mocked as she rang out her curls before throwing the still damp tresses over her shoulder and grinning mischievously. She took a stride towards the other girl, encroaching on her personal space and tilting her head to one side as she eyed her up. "I'm sure he tells you how he has too much respect for himself and you two should wait."
Andromeda gave her sister a strong shove and sent the girl staggering backwards, even as she fought to stay on her feet she was still smiling. The younger girl knew that she was letting Bellatrix under her skin and that it was exactly what the older girl was hoping for but she was just so bloody annoying. "Are you jealous Bella? That someone that I actually care about likes me back." She sent a half-formed curse at her older sister to send her back a few more paces; if she could back her into a corner she could end this duel quickly. She just needed to keep her distracted and lucky for her it was very easy to distract Bellatrix. "Because that's what really scares you about Hermione isn't it?" She took another step forward and Bellatrix took another step backwards as her jaw tightened and her eyes narrowed. "That unlike some of the other girls that you have perused, she hasn't turned to mush at your cocky smirk." Bellatrix looked as if she might launch an attack for a second but Andromeda cut her off before she had the chance to move. "That she has stood up to your mocking rather than becoming a giggling mess." Andromeda moved again and edged the older girl ever closer to the stone behind her, just one more step. "That she isn't in awe of your brilliance and you so desperately want her to be."
"Shut up Andromeda." Bellatrix roared as a bright fountain of orange sparks erupted from the end her wand sending the younger girl sprinting away as the embers singed her skin where they landed.
"What the hell was that?" Andromeda bellowed as she slashed her wand at her sister who threw up a hasty Protego to block the spell.
Bellatrix looked at her hand where the sparks had burned her skin too. "I have no idea, I was just annoyed."
"For God's sake Bellatrix when will you learn some control? You'll never win a duel if you don't." Andromeda chastised as she analysed her own pockmarked hands with a frown. With a grunt of annoyance she sent a silent Petrificus Totalus towards the older girl. There were only two ways to end a duel between the Black sisters; immobilise your opponent or draw blood. Unfortunately Bellatrix had managed to clumsily duck out of the way of her attempted body bind.
"I told you before I'm not scared of anything." Bellatrix snapped by way of a half-hearted defence. As she went to take a step towards her sister she was quickly stopped in her tracks when Andromeda flicked her wand and she felt a sharp sting across her cheek.
"You are scared, scared that you will have to work for Hermione and it still might not be enough." Andromeda said softy as she looked upon her sister with kind eyes and a sympathetic smile. "And you're bleeding, which means I win. Again."
Bellatrix furrowed her brow but reached up to touch the spot on her cheek that was still stinging. When she looked down at her fingers, sure enough they were stained red.
Night had fallen a few hours ago and most of the occupants of the castle were beginning to retire to their beds but Hermione wasn't tired. She had far too many thoughts and worries flying around in her head to be granted a decent nights rest. She needed some place that she could go and mull things over, some place she could be truly alone with her own thoughts. In truth she needed somewhere to sulk. To sulk about how unfair it was that she was stuck in 1969, how unfair it was that she would never see her friends again and how unfair it was that Bellatrix was treating her like some pariah even though she had apologised more than once.
Hermione didn't really have a destination in mind, she was simply wandering mindlessly. Originally she had thought about heading up to the owlery, like she used to in her own time but the thought stung just a little bit too much to follow through on. Instead she had meandered aimlessly until her wandering feet had begun to tromp up the staircase of one of Hogwarts many towers. She soon found herself at the top of the Astronomy tower, the place held a bittersweet resonance. It was the place where Dumbledore had perished but it was also one of the more beautiful parts of the castle with its rolling vista of mountains surrounding the school. She stepped towards the railings and allowed her eyes to scan the landscape as she pondered on how similar this world looked to her own, if she could dull the voices screaming obscenities in her mind for a minute she could pretend that she was back there. She could pretend that when she ventured down from the turret Ron and Harry would be waiting for her and they could stroll back to the cosy Gryffindor common room as they laughed about something stupid Draco had done that day. But that was not her reality anymore, she was stuck here all alone and the nearest thing she had to a friendship was Bellatrix Black.
Hermione had always tried to do the right thing, be a good person, treat people well. So why did the world seem determined to shit on her from a great height at every opportunity. She had been a witch stuck in a muggle world filled with relief when she received her letter to Hogwarts only to find that there she was a muggle-born thrown into a world she didn't understand. She had been caught up in a war that she had no part in starting but was for some reason expected to help end it. She had been tortured, she had watched friends die, she had been forced to remove all trace of herself from her parent's minds. And then just when she was finding her feet and beginning to find her place in the mess the world had become the rug was pulled from beneath her all over again. It was utter bullshit. Her whole life felt like utter bullshit. Hermione looked up to the sky, the gleeful beauty of the twinkling stars above her even seemed to be mocking her dark mood by trying to cast some unwelcomed light into her gloom. She felt rage bubble up from the depths of her gut; she gripped the edge of the railings until her knuckles turned white trying to control the urge to start burning the world. She wanted to cause destruction, she wanted somebody else to have to feel the way that she felt right now, she wanted somebody else to have to shoulder this burden she had been saddled with. But she knew deep down that she could never be that person, a person who would willingly cause harm to another. Hermione breathed deeply through her nose and tried to fight down the fire within her but she was losing the battle, "Fuuuuuuuck" she screamed into the emptiness of the night. "Fuck everything, fuck everyone out there that wants to ruin my life, just fuck you." She threw her hand over her mouth and muffled a sob, she staggered back away from the railing as if she had been thrown back by the force of her own outburst. Her mind was reeling and she felt dizzy and fuzzy, she took another wobbly step backwards but found her foot meeting only empty air. She was closer the staircase leading down from the tower than she had realised, as she was about to let out a yelp of horror to signal her impending doom an arm wrapped around her waist firmly and stopped her fall before it even happened.
"You're ok, I've got you." A reassuring voice soothed as Hermione was set steadily back on her feet she found herself enveloped in the scent of Jasmine and cedar wood, it was familiar in a distant sort of way. Like she had dreamed of it before. "You need to be careful up here."
At the slightly chastising tone Hermione shook her head to clear some of the fog and began to register that it was Bellatrix that was still holding her up. "I was being careful I just…" she trailed off as she moved away from the other girl's body and took her own weight cautiously.
"Screaming at nothing." Bellatrix finished for her as she reluctantly allowed the other girl to step away from her but kept a cautionary arm stretched out towards her just in case. The trace of a smirk tugging at her features disappeared quickly when she saw Hermione's face pale in embarrassment. "I get it, it's beautiful up here and sometimes you just have to ruin something beautiful."
Hermione looked away from Bellatrix and moved back over to the railings to look over the mountains in the distance again. She didn't want to admit out loud that Bellatrix had essentially just summed up exactly what she had been doing up here, although inadvertently. "What are you doing up here?" She asked, deciding that going on the defensive was her best course of action.
Bellatrix chuckled softly and came to join the bushy haired girl at the edge of the tower, her eyes flicking across the landscape too. "Well it would seem that you have found my usual hiding spot. I come up here to be alone when things are bothering me. I come up here most nights."
"Things bother you that often?" Hermione asked quietly, almost robotically.
"Be careful, it almost sounded like you cared there." Bellatrix sniped, despite her earlier thoughts about forgiving Hermione next time that she saw her.
Hermione let out a weary sigh. "Forget I said anything."
Both girls were silent for a few minutes before Bellatrix muttered. "I know, it's hard to imagine." Although Hermione still wasn't looking at her the eye roll was evident in her voice. "The spoiled rich girl couldn't possibly have any problems that keep her up at night."
"That's not what I think." Hermione said as she turned to look at the other girl, the breeze was picking up a few of her inky tendrils their colour almost as dark the night sky around her. "I don't think that wealth eradicates all problems from a person's life. This world is…fucked, money doesn't change that."
"Do you really believe that?" Bellatrix asked as she met Hermione's eyes. "Do you believe that the world is fucked?"
Hermione nodded her head slowly, her eyes turning sad as she tried desperately not to let herself cry. "I've seen enough of it to know that it is."
"Maybe it is fucked right now but I think that we can change it." Bellatrix said confidently and for the first time Hermione saw the girl in front of her as exactly that. She was still just a girl, filled with a childlike confidence and arrogance that Hermione had long since lost. As she looked at the fire in the darker haired girl's eyes she felt a desperate desire to protect that invincibility in Bellatrix for as long as she possibly could.
"I hope that you can." Hermione said softly knowing that whatever change Bellatrix saw for this world was completely different from the perfect world that she herself could conjure up in her mind. Bellatrix saw a world free from muggles and muggle-borns, where pure bloods reigned supreme and wizards could live without hiding. Hermione saw a world where she could live in peace and quiet, a harmonious community that could live alongside each other.
"Hermione." Bellatrix said gently, tasting the syllables on her tongue as the word slid from her mouth for the first time. "I don't do this often so please listen" She paused to make sure that she had the other girls full attention, she took a deep breath as though she was readying herself to do something incredibly difficult. "I'm sorry I've been such an utter arse to you recently."
A warm smile slipped onto Hermione's face as she acknowledged Bellatrix's awkward words. "I'm sorry I didn't try harder to understand you." As the words left her mouth she wasn't sure if she meant trying not to understand Bellatrix Black of right now or for never taking the time to try and understand the Bellatrix Lestrange from her time.
Thank you all for reading, your reviews are like an addiction and always greatly appreciated no matter how long or how brief. I will always reply to personal messages if you have anything burning you would like to say. Praise or criticism I am always all ears!