I decided I wanted to take things up a notch this chapter, I wanted this chapter to be about them discovering and becoming aware of their feelings. Obviously they have always been flirting around the edges and let's face it, we all know they will end up together but they have been a little bit blind to their feelings. Maybe this chapter will change things…who knows? I don't…..kidding….kind of.
Thank you so much to everyone that continues to read and support this story, it makes all of the hard work worth it. Welcome to anyone who is only finding the story now, I hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it.
Crazytroublemaker: I'm so glad that you loved the last chapter, I hope that this chapter lives up to it now! The idea with the time loop was that Hermione continuously comes back to 1969 from the September after the Battle of Hogwarts (like we saw in this story). Every time she comes back she corrects an injustice, this time Dumbledore wants her to 'save' Bellatrix so that she can reach her potential. Does that make more sense?
GraffitiDreamz: Welcome! Thank you so much for reading!
AmelieCarter: YES! You are correct! Hopefully this chapter is up quick enough for you!
DeJee: McGonagall is in this one
Waterproof: I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that you review every chapter. I always look out for your review.
Darkshadow-lord: Hmmm…well you will have to wait and see if that happens.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters unfortunately. If I did Bellamione would be life!
It was Saturday morning, well after 9, and Hermione was uncharacteristically still in bed. The other two girls from her dorm had got up early to excitedly get ready and have breakfast before the first Hogsmeade weekend of this school year. But Hermione had just grumbled and thrown the pillow over her head to try and block out their incessant chatter, she didn't see the point in getting up just to have to wander around the half empty castle on her own. After all of Dumbledore's ridiculous conversations about destiny and how it was now somehow her responsibility to save Bellatrix from the clutches of Voldemort, she had forgotten altogether to ask him about going into the village. She didn't really know why she was surprised about the expectation that Dumbledore had voiced, practically all of her life it seemed she had been responsible for someone. From eleven years old she had been responsible for making sure that Harry and Ron got all of their homework done and got to lessons on time, not to mention the small detail of keeping them alive. And she wasn't even eighteen by the time that the fate of the wizarding world was on her shoulders with her being expected to destroy a dark wizard who struck fear into the hearts of most grown adults. Merlin forbid that now she only be responsible for her own happiness; but no, clearly that was too trivial a matter for the universe to be concerned with. It was everyone else's happiness that mattered and she just had to be the one to facilitate it. Always the bridesmaid and never the bride. Hermione buried herself deeper into her pillows and pulled her covers further up over her head as she sighed morosely. The sound quickly morphed into a shriek of panic though as her newly adjusted blanket was unceremoniously dragged from around her body leaving her shocked and suddenly freezing.
"Rise and shine." Bellatrix cackled as she grinned down at the brunette who had instinctively curled into the foetal position, more than likely to protect herself from the sudden cold.
"For fucks sake Bellatrix!" Hermione launched to her feet at the sound of that irritatingly familiar voice. "How the hell do you keep getting into my bedroom? You aren't in Ravenclaw; you shouldn't even be able to get past the door."
Bellatrix wanted to answer, she wanted to come up with some smart arse response… but she couldn't. Her mind was a blank mush, like putty that she would have to try and mould back into some kind of rational shape before she could figure out how to form words again. The only thing that seemed to still be functioning right now was her eyes, which were currently attempting to take in as much of the creamy skin that was exposed in Hermione's pyjama clad state as possible. She was wearing a pale blue, cotton long sleeved top that was cut in a deep V showing the top of her cleavage and striped shorts that stopped mid-thigh. Bellatrix really didn't want to be a creep but her stupid mind seemed to have zeroed in on the sight of Hermione's nipples straining against the fabric of her top due to the low temperature in the room. She coughed suddenly, chocking on the excess amount of saliva that had collected in her mouth. The action seemed to kick her brain back into gear and she quickly, and somewhat reluctantly, spun around so that she had her back to the inappropriately dressed girl.
"What are you doing here Bellatrix?" Hermione asked, almost shouting, the shock and surprise of her rude awakening causing the volume of her voice to rise.
Bellatrix swallowed thickly, screwed her eyes shut and tried to clear the memory of Hermione's body from her mind. She was losing the battle miserably as imprinted onto her eyelids seemed to be the image of the girl's chest covered only in a thin layer of cotton. "I'm here to take you to Hogsmeade." She finally forced out in a strained voice.
"We have had this conversation twice already this week." Hermione huffed irritably as she stared at the back of Bellatrix's head. The girl had attempted to pile her curls into a messy topknot but had missed a few stands out at the base of her skull. Hermione was struck by how endearing she found it that Bellatrix tried so hard to tame her unruly tendrils but always just missed the mark. No! She was mad at her right now she was not supposed to be finding her ineptitudes charming; she shook off that distracting thought before continuing more calmly. "I can't go to Hogsmeade. I don't have a signed consent form."
Bellatrix sighed concentrating on her racing heart, waiting for it to slow down a little before she spoke. "It may be hard for you to believe but I am not an idiot. I remember that you don't have your consent form signed. We are going to work around that."
"Work around it?" Hermione questioned incredulously, her voice shrill again. She took a step towards Bellatrix, grabbed her arm and spun her around so that she was facing her once more. Still the black haired girl refused to look at her though, instead she was had her chin lifted and her eyes were skimming the ceiling. Hermione frowned at the Bellatrix's sudden unexplained awkwardness and crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously.
"Yes." Bellatrix replied tightly, the tendons in her neck showing as her body filled with tension. She chanced a glance back at Hermione but it was a mistake, when the girl had crossed her arms it had hitched her top up. Only an inch, but it was enough to show a sliver of perfect skin at her hip that the girl had a flare of need to reach out and touch. "I have a plan." Bellatrix finished as she flicked her eyes over to the rumpled sheets of the other girl's bed, she thought it would be safe to be looking at something as innocuous as a bed. She was wrong though, very very wrong because the sight of the tousled bedding brought images of Hermione in bed to mind that she just could not deal with right now.
Hermione groaned and rubbed her forehead impatiently. "Why do I have the feeling that I won't like this plan?"
"Well you will have to get dressed to find out if that feeling is correct won't you?" Bellatrix answered with a forced smirk as she tried to play the part of a normal, composed person. 'Plus I won't remember what the plan is if you don't get dressed' she thought as she focused on a spot on the wall just over Hermione's shoulder. She needed to get out of this room and to get some air desperately. "I'll meet you in the fountain courtyard in ten minutes."
Hermione wanted to argue, wanted to ask more questions about this mysterious plan but she didn't get the chance to. As soon as Bellatrix had finished speaking she swept from the room and slammed the door behind her with a resounding thud.
"Are you insane?" Hermione whispered angrily into Bellatrix's ear as the black haired girl towed her by the hand across the courtyard and towards the path leading down to Hogsmeade village.
Bellatrix grinned lightly. "I have been called insane a few times, yes."
"You pulled me out of bed and demanded that I get dressed for this?" Hermione asked as she tugged on the hand that Bellatrix was using to propel her forward, causing the other girl to falter and turn to face her as she stopped in her tracks. "Your plan is to just walk past Professor Mcgonagall as if nothing is going on."
"Exactly." Bellatrix shrugged nonchalantly as she took a step in order to get them moving again.
Hermione pulled on Bellatrix's hand again to stop her motion and keep them where they were. "It will never work, this whole thing is pointless."
"That is where you're wrong." Bellatrix smiled conspiratorially as she pulled Hermione closer to her and grabbed the girls other hand too. "People only ever question if you are doing something wrong if you look like you are doing something wrong. All we have to do is walk past Mcgonagall, smile sweetly and not look back."
"And if it doesn't work?" Hermione asked, a frown marring her features as she looked Bellatrix dead in the eye. Despite her rising panic her mind registered how long and thick the girl's eyelashes were and how they framed her eyes in the most beautiful way.
"It will work." Bellatrix squeezed her hands reassuringly, trying to stop the flush of, what she assumed to be, worry that had bloomed on Hermione's cheeks. "But if it doesn't, we will spend the afternoon doing something else. Maybe we could spend it teaching you how to fly a broom."
Hermione's mouth dropped open causing Bellatrix to laugh heartily which in turn caused the brunette's stomach to flutter like it always did. "I am not getting on a broom Bellatrix, no way. I'm a danger."
"I don't know about a danger but you certainly are dramatic." Bellatrix shook her head and let go of one of Hermione's hands, this time managing to move them on successfully towards the gates at the edge of the courtyard. "Anyway, let your desire to not get on a broom serve as motivation for you to get this right."
"No pressure then." Hermione muttered grumpily as she tried to fix her face into a neutral expression, she attempted to clear her mind of worry and pay attention to the physical. She focused on the cool November breeze blowing through her hair, the cobbles under her feet as she walked, the way that Bellatrix's hand fit perfectly into hers. She let the pad of her thumb rub over the delicate, soft skin she found there and smiled internally at the way the action caused the girl to squeeze her fingers almost imperceptibly. She took a slight step closer to Bellatrix so their shoulders bumped together as they walked, she enjoyed the feel of the girl's body heat radiating through her robes.
"Miss Ross." A distinct Scottish voice called out, shaking Hermione out of her contemplations. When she looked around she realised that they had made it out of the courtyard and part of the way down the path towards Hogsmeade. "A word please."
Bellatrix leaned close to Hermione to whisper in her ear. "Remember, you are doing nothing wrong." She squeezed her hand once before she stalked off to flop herself down on a nearby boulder and await the girl's return.
The black haired girl's breath ghosting over the shell of Hermione's ear paired with the sudden invading scent of Jasmine and cedar wood made her shiver. She took a moment to fix her features and square her shoulders before setting off towards the older woman. "Yes Professor, is everything ok?"
"Are you planning to go into the village today Hermione?" Mcgonagall enquired, with the tone of a woman who already knew the answer to her questions.
"Well…yes...yes Professor. I was going to. If that's ok, of course." Hermione stuttered, she mentally face palmed over her utter awkwardness. So much for acting like she was doing nothing wrong.
Mcgonagall eyed up the girl in front of her for a second, her face giving away nothing at all. "You know as a nineteen year old you are technically considered an adult. So you do not have to actually ask me if you can go into Hogsmeade. You are free to come and go from the castle as you please."
"I…well…." Hermione rambled, not really sure what the Scottish witch was suggesting but knowing she was shooting for something.
"But in the interest of keeping your story believable." Mcgonagall intoned, effectively ending anymore blathering that Hermione was about to do. "It would perhaps be best that you at least pretended to follow the rules. And the rules say that only students with permission can visit Hogsmeade."
"Ok, I understand Professor." Hermione said in a small voice, her shoulders hunching in shame slightly at having tried to deceive the woman she respected so greatly. "I'm sorry."
Mcgonagall smiled despite herself at the girl's downcast demeanour and shook her head; she pulled a small roll of parchment out of one of the inside pockets of her robes. She unfurled it and Hermione could see her name, well Hermione Ross, penned neatly across the top of the document. "Since I am now your legal guardian, I am able to give you that permission." She produced a quill from another pocket in her robe and scrawled her loopy signature along the bottom of the scroll.
Hermione reached out slowly to take the offered parchment from Mcgonagall, she looked up at the woman with a warm smile. "Thank you Professor."
"You're welcome, but in future Hermione." Mcgonagall said, a hint of hardness creeping into her voice again as she caught the girl's eye. "Anything that you want, you need only to ask."
Hermione nodded her understanding before turning away and heading over to where Bellatrix was waiting for her. The Slytherin was impatiently picking at some moss on the side of the boulder that she was sitting on, a frown creasing her brow. When she heard Hermione approaching she jumped to her feet and demanded, "What did she want?"
"She signed my consent form." Hermione beamed as she held out the parchment for Bellatrix to read.
Bellatrix hummed as her eyes scanned the scroll that Hermione had rammed in her face, she looked passed it to smirk devilishly at the other girl. "Something isn't quite as fun about all of this now that we aren't breaking any rules."
"Oh shut up Bellatrix." Hermione shoved the black haired witch's shoulder, causing her to chuckle and smirk even wider. "Now come on, show me this wonderful village I have heard so much about."
Bellatrix had begun her tour of the village at the ruins of the Hengist Fortress, named after the founder of Hogsmeade; it had been the Goblin's stronghold during the Rebellion. What was left of the building seemed to stand in spite of itself. One wall was all that remained complete; the rest of the brick work had crumbled away over time leaving only a scar on the floor to show where it once stood. Hermione had noticed that the ruins were in exactly the same position that the Shrieking Shack would inhabit during her time at Hogwarts. Of course the building was not there now, Remus Lupin was not attending Hogwarts yet so it was not required to hide his monthly transformations into the werewolf. They spent some time there while Bellatrix explained how the Goblin's had taken control of the fort and barricaded themselves inside using powerful wards. She also revealed a rumour that the Goblins had begun to tunnel under the Fortress and towards Hogwarts grounds, but so far evidence of this tunnel had not been found.
Their next stop was a Goblin war cemetery, Hermione had no idea it even existed but then that wasn't surprising considering the effort it had taken to get there. It had taken a great deal of convincing to get the bushy haired witch to creep across the Hogwarts Express tracks, Bellatrix had assured her that no trains travelled the line during term time and she had been unable to deny the spark of excitement in the Slytherin's eyes. The girl seemed to be enjoying herself a lot more now that they were doing something that broke some rule or another. After risking the railway track they then had to scale a small fence in order to get into the neighbouring field before scrambling up a steep and somewhat damp slope. Hermione had slipped so many times that Bellatrix had eventually taken hold of her hand and dragged her, rather unceremoniously, to the top of the little hill. Once at the top the girls found themselves in a small copse of trees that looked rather unremarkable until Bellatrix utter a few words in a harsh guttural language that Hermione assumed was Old Goblin. When she had finished speaking the trees seemed to disappear around them as if they had always been a mirage. In their place stood rows upon rows of white slabs each with a collection of runes intricately engraved into them. Bellatrix hadn't spoken while they stood amongst the graves; she had simply allowed them to take in the poignancy of the setting and think about how right it felt to stand there with their bodies so close and their fingers interlocked. After they had left the Goblin Cemetery Bellatrix explained to Hermione that the people of Hogsmeade had buried the dead Goblins on the hill as a mark of respect. Some of the surviving Goblins had come along later on to add the headstones and the protective enchantments around the little woodland.
The final place that Bellatrix had directed Hermione to was the Three Broomsticks, the location rumoured to be the wizard headquarters for the Rebellion. The Slytherin pointed out as they entered that there was no actual proof of this anywhere but it was one of the only buildings in the village that was old enough to have been around in 1612. Hermione's eyes scanned the paintings on the old walls as she slipped into one of the pub's cosy booths opposite Bellatrix. She slid one of the chilled bottles of Butterbeer she had just purchased across the table to the Slytherin. "Thank you for today Bella, I had so much fun discovering Hogsmeade with you."
Bellatrix's heart fluttered at the other girl's use of her nickname, it slipped out so infrequently that she found herself cherishing the times that it did somehow. "You're sure you wouldn't have enjoyed looking around the shops more than this?" The Slytherin asked with a hint of nervousness in her voice as she fingered the condensation on the side of her Butterbeer bottle.
The vulnerability that Bellatrix seemed to show around her intrigued Hermione greatly, this was a side of the girl that she was sure few people got to see. She seemed to fight so hard to make the world believe that she was cold, as she had put it once before, so why was Bellatrix so free with lowering her defences around her? They didn't know each other that well really and yet they seemed to share so much with one another. Bellatrix even seemed able to pry information out of Hermione that she didn't intend to share at all. Where did their connection come from? Was it because they were both so academic? Was it because the Slytherin matched her fire and passion rather than mocked like the boys had always done? Was it because the brunette was always on the lookout for a hint of the other Bellatrix within this girl? Or was it because of Dumbledore's theory on destiny? At times like these where Bellatrix's mask of indifference seemed to slip and she looked at Hermione as though she was pleading with her for reassurance, there was simply no trace of the Death Eater what so ever. What was most worrisome for the bushy haired witch though was the reaction this open Bellatrix seemed to elicit within her. It made her heart feel like it was swelling in her chest and all she wanted to do was pull the girl to her and… do what she didn't know, or didn't want to think about. She settled for reaching across the table and laying her hand reassuringly on top of Bellatrix's. "I have been in those shops more times than I can count, being with you was…lovely."
Bellatrix smiled for a second but her expression quickly changed to a dark scowl as her eyes flickered over Hermione's face. "How have you been to those shops more times that you can count? You have barely been here two months."
Hermione's mouth went instantly dry and she retracted her hand from on top of Bellatrix's as though she had been stung. She had been so consumed with thoughts of the raven haired witch that she had totally forgotten where she was or more prudently when she was. "I didn't mean I had been in these shops." She scrambled, shaking her head to clear the panic. "But I have been in countless shops just like them. They do have sweet shops in France you know."
Bellatrix's scowl lightened slightly but she still seemed to be scrutinising Hermione, it felt as if she was actually looking for chinks in her armour. "Why don't you have a French accent?"
"My parents are British but moved to Liechtenstein when I was a child; my Dad got a job in their Ministry. We have moved around Europe my entire life." Hermione lied smoothly, she had thought about this little hole in her tale, thankfully, and had a good excuse in her back pocket. "We only moved to France when I started attending Beauxbatons."
"What does your Father do in the Ministry?" Bellatrix continued her line of inquisition, taking full advantage of the fact that for some reason Hermione seemed willing to talk about her life for a change.
Hermione smiled softly as, again, she was asked a question that she was prepared for and she knew would kill this conversation dead in the water. She didn't want to talk about herself, she hated constantly having to lie to Bellatrix. "He's an unspeakable."
Bellatrix hummed in surprise, obviously impressed by Hermione's imaginary father's job. "That must be such an interesting job."
"I wouldn't know." Hermione shrugged dismissively as she smirked a little. "As an unspeakable he doesn't really speak about it much."
Bellatrix snorted and flicked some of the moisture that was on her fingers from her Butterbeer bottle in Hermione's direction. "Shut up Ross." Her face was alight with mirth and that smirk that drove Hermione crazy settled on her features.
Hermione scooped some of the froth from the rim of her own bottle and flicked that at Bellatrix in retaliation. The girl shrieked as the foam landed on her brow and threatened to drip into her eye. "Ooops" The brunette mocked as she tried unsuccessfully to control her laughter as Bellatrix wiped furiously at her face with the sleeve of her robes.
Bellatrix looked up as she heard Hermione's hearty bell like laughter peel through the air towards her. She wanted to throw one of her signature glares at the girl for daring to throw the froth in her face but the sound of her laugh stopped that in its tracks. Bellatrix had heard Hermione chuckle and giggle, but never laugh this fully. She noticed how the brunette's cheeks glowed an appealing soft pink, her eyes twinkled with life and her nose scrunched up adorably when she laughed like this. As far as she was concerned, right now, the girl was as close to perfection as she had ever seen. "Hermione I…" she began, Merlin only knew what she was going to say because her mind seemed to have run away with her mouth, when she was interrupted by someone clearing their throat.
Both girls looked away from each other, any laughter dying as they noticed the arrogant looking Gryffindor boy stood at the end of their table. He had dark copper hair that could almost pass for brown in the right light and a long face that some could think was attractive if they were so inclined. "Hello." he grinned lecherously at Hermione as he spoke, the word almost oozing from his throat. "I'm Bilius Weasley. I don't think we have had the pleasure of meeting yet."
Hermione's eyes widened as the boy revealed his name; this was Ron's uncle, the man he would be named after. She had heard funny tales about the person he would become, but right now he just seemed like a total creep and she wanted him to leave… quickly. "Hermione Ross." She informed him simply, hoping that her reluctance to engage with him would be enough to get rid of him.
"You haven't been here long have you?" Bilius continued, he was seemingly unaware of Hermione's discomfort and Bellatrix's simmering anger. Hermione couldn't believe that this conceited boy could possibly be the younger brother of the laid back and unassuming Arthur Weasley,
"No, I only started at the beginning of the school year." Hermione answered as she smiled tightly and turned her attention back to Bellatrix who raised her eyebrows incredulously at her.
Bilius nodded as if he was approving of the answer that she had given, the action caused a flicker of anger within Hermione that she couldn't explain. Perhaps it was because the boy reminded her of Cormac McLaggen. "And you're a seventh year aren't you?"
Hermione snapped her head back towards the boy, a frown creasing her brow delicately. "You seem to know a lot of information about me already." She snapped, Bilius' smile faltered for a millisecond but he managed to keep his composure. "So why did you need to come over and ask me questions that you already know the answer to?"
Bellatrix chuckled softly at Hermione's response but this was a mistake. "Shut up Black." Bilius' smile finally dropped as he snarled through his teeth in a voice filled with venom. He transformed from a seemingly harmless, if not annoying, boy into something much more vicious. "I don't know what you're laughing at. I came over here to rescue this poor girl from you and all of your… pureblood poison."
Hermione was absolutely livid; Bellatrix had been sitting there minding her own business, doing absolutely nothing wrong and this boy was attacking her. He had come over here to their table and acted like a smarmy prat, Hermione was the one who had been rude to the boy, she was the one who had dented his ego and yet Bellatrix was the one that he had gone after. Well if he thought that the Slytherin was an easy target because of who she was and the general consensus around the school that she was this evil being then he had another thing coming. She was not going to let anyone speak to Bellatrix that way again. She deserved respect as much as anybody else; no family name changed that right. Yes, Hermione knew what Bellatrix was capable of; the anger, the vindictiveness, the evilness. In that state it was easy to make her into the hated villain of the tale. But here she sat; calm, composed…innocent. "Who the hell do you think you are?" she growled as she stood up out of the booth seating so that she was almost nose to nose with the boy. "How dare you come over here, where we were having a perfectly lovely time, and insult Bellatrix for no reason."
Bilius took a small step backwards but the anger in his features remained. "You have no idea who she is." He spat as his eyes flicked over to a thoroughly shocked Bellatrix who was trying to wrap her mind around the fact that Hermione had jumped to her defence so quickly.
"You have no idea what I know about her." Hermione countered as she fought the urge to reach into her robes and hex this idiot into next week. "And your notion that I would somehow need rescuing from the wicked witch of the west over here is pathetic. Why don't you go and find some other girl who might actually find your stupid knight in shining armour act impressive."
Bilius shook his head as his lip curled into a look of disgust. "Do you know what? You should continue to spend time with Bellatrix. You two are suited to each other, you are both huge bitches."
"Thank you for your suggestion." Hermione replied with a voice dripping with sarcasm. "I think I will stick with Bellatrix now that I know, thanks to you, how tragic my other options for companionship are."
Bilius muttered something that sounded distinctly like 'fuck you' before spinning on his heel and marching back to his fellow Gryffindors, who had been watching the exchange with rapt interest. He flopped back down into his seat looking defeated and a round of laughter rang out amongst his friends. Hermione slipped smoothly back into the booth and picked up her bottle of Butterbeer to try and hide the shaking of her hands and to give her somewhere to focus her attention other than on the other witch. She couldn't help but feel embarrassed about the way she had reacted to that boy, but the second he had gone after Bellatrix she had lost control. She had been filled with a desire to protect the girl. To stand up and try to shield her from the ugliness in the world that Hermione feared would change her from the determined, driven and at times gentle person in front of her into the heartless Death Eater
Bellatrix hummed as if she was considering something important causing Hermione to look up cautiously from her frantic picking at the Butterbeer label. "The wicked witch of the west." The girl said with a smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth. "I have been called a great many things in my time, but that is officially a first."
A smile slipped onto Hermione's features and she breathed a heavy sigh, relief washing over her that Bellatrix didn't seem mad at her reaction to the Weasley. "You're only missing the green skin."
Bellatrix laughed lightly as she reached across the table and gently took Hermione's hand, giving her fingers a reassuring squeeze. "Thank you for standing up for me."
"I'm sorry, I know you don't need it Bellatrix. I know you can stand up for yourself. I didn't mean to offend you or anything but…" Hermione's ramble was cut short by Bellatrix releasing her hand and instead reaching up to cup her cheek gently.
"I don't need you to be sorry Hermione." Bellatrix spoke softly as her thumb absentmindedly caressed the other girl's skin. "People aren't normally kind to me, it's a nice change."
"I hate that." Hermione said with a broken voice as she covered Bellatrix's hand with her own and leant into the warmth of her touch. "You don't deserve to be treated that way."
"We don't always get treated the way that we deserve." Bellatrix replied sadly as she revelled in the comfort that being near to Hermione afforded her. "Do you want to head back to the castle?"
"Yeah." Hermione nodded as she reluctantly let Bellatrix take her hand back and moved to climb out of the booth.
Despite having spent the entire day together Hermione still found herself on her way up to the Astronomy Tower to meet Bellatrix once she was done with dinner. She traipsed up the winding staircase to the top of the tower slowly, exhausted from her day venturing around Hogsmeade. She knew that the sensible choice would be to get an early night so that she could be up promptly tomorrow to catch up on her homework. But the allure of spending just a little bit more time with Bellatrix was just too great. A smile slipped onto her face as she reached the top of the staircase and looked out of the doorway, the Slytherin was sat on the edge of the turret with her legs crossed engrossed in a book. Her finger glided across the page at as it guided her reading and Hermione had to suppress a shiver as an errant thought about other things her fingers could glide across filled her mind. The girl's hair was loose now, having been released from its topknot, and it fell in waves across her shoulder and down her back creating paths across her body for amber eyes to follow. The inky blackness seemed to absorb the light from the stars above her so that it shone like a celestial beauty all of its own. The sight was captivating and Hermione almost didn't want to disturb it, but knowing she could play voyeur all evening she cleared her throat gently to make her presence known.
"Hermione." Bellatrix almost jumped out of her skin as she fumbled with the book she was holding, slamming it shut before placing it on the floor next to her and subtly covering it with the fabric of her robes. "I didn't hear you come up."
"Of course you didn't, you were too lost in your book." Hermione smiled warmly at the girl before settling next to her making sure that they were close enough that their knees touched. "What were you reading?"
"Nothing" Bellatrix snapped as she snatched the book away from Hermione when she reached for it and placed in on her other side so that it could not be seen.
Hermione frowned at Bellatrix's sudden caginess and a sense of anxiety rose unchecked within her. What could she be reading that she wanted to keep so private? Was it something she shouldn't be reading, something dark? "You were obviously reading something."
"Ok, maybe I was." Bellatrix replied haughtily as she raised her chin and refused to look at Hermione. "But not everything I do is your business you know?"
"Bellatrix." Hermione almost chastised as she tried to get her head around the version of the girl that she had walked in on. She had been warm and engaging all day, keeping her close, holding her hand and now she seemed like the last thing she wanted was to be around her. "I only asked you about a book, there's no need to be so…mean."
Bellatrix sighed heavily as she finally looked at Hermione with heavy, guilt filled eyes. "It was only this." She picked up the book that she had tried so hard to hide and handed it to the bushy haired witch. "I was just embarrassed that you had caught me reading it. We both know I am shit at dealing with my emotions, I never intend to be mean."
Hermione nodded and smiled softly at the Slytherin, accepting that an acknowledgement was as near to an apology as she was going to get. "Edgar Allan Poe." She read the name that was embossed in gold letters into the black leather of the book. "But why do you need to be embarrassed about reading this?"
"Well you know, because it's…muggle." Bellatrix shrugged as she looked away from Hermione again and began picking at her nails, her trademark nervous tell.
"What does it matter if it's muggle?" Hermione barked, Bellatrix's insinuation that something muggle was anything to be ashamed of angering her. She had spent all day being slowly persuaded that the pureblood ideals that Bellatrix Lestrange prided were not something that young Bellatrix even considered. She had almost convinced herself that those stupid beliefs didn't exist in this girl at all, the realisation that she was wrong stung.
"Most witches and wizards don't respect muggle literature, they think it is pedestrian." Bellatrix said calmly, ignoring Hermione's riled demeanour all together as her focus remained on her nails. "Plus my parents would kill me if they ever found out that I had spent their money on something muggle."
"But you don't care that he was a muggle author?" Hermione asked, wanting to fan the spark of hope that had flickered to life when Bellatrix had not mentioned any distaste of her own towards the muggle world.
Bellatrix shook her head and watched tentatively as Hermione thumbed the well-worn leaves of the book, pausing when she reached the page with the corner turned over. "That's my favourite poem." She supplied before she could be asked, the girl's eyes swept over the words on the page and a light crease appeared between her brows. "The best part is the beginning; let me read it to you?"
"I'd like that." Hermione replied as she handed the book delicately to Bellatrix, feeling a tremor as their hands brushed against each other inadvertently.
Bellatrix smiled timidly and cleared her throat before beginning to read from the book in a calm, clear and practiced voice. "From childhood's hour I have not been/as others were; I have not seen/ as others saw;" She looked up at Hermione shyly through her dark, thick lashes and her cheeks had taken on a very slight pinkness. "I could not bring/my passions from a common spring/From the same source I have not taken/my sorrow; I could not awaken/my heart to joy at the same tone/And all I lov'd; I lov'd alone" She paused the poem there, closing the book over before slipping it safely into an inside pocket in her robes. Her gaze fluttered back up to Hermione who was watching her as if she was the most fascinating thing in the world, as though she were some puzzle to unravel. It made her feel nervous and giddy all at once. "From the first time I read those lines I have loved that poem. I remember during my childhood feeling the loneliness that it talks about. Despite the fact that I had my parents and my sisters around me I have never felt like I fit in with them, I thought it was something that was wrong with me. But when I read that poem I realised that it's not that at all, it's because I have always seen the world differently to them."
"How do you see the world?" Hermione asked as she covered Bellatrix's hand affectionately. She wasn't sure whether the action was to reassure the black haired witch or to ground her in preparation for the answer, she had no idea if she was going to like it.
"I see the world as this cage that I'm trapped in, held captive by stupid pureblood societal rules and my parents expectations of me." Bellatrix revealed as she squeezed Hermione's fingers trying to draw some strength from the action. She didn't know why this girl made her feel so safe or why she was being so open about her feelings with her, but something about her just made it all so easy.
Hermione thought about what Bellatrix had just said; there was no freedom for the girl really, she was only ever faced with constant obligations. Hadn't it only been this morning that she herself had been feeling exactly the same way; that she was trapped by all of the responsibilities dropped heavily on to her shoulders? Both of them lived in a reality where their happiness had to come second to what everyone else wanted. "Maybe you are not so alone in the way that you see the world Bella. I may not have the same problems as you but I certainly don't feel free."
Bellatrix turned so that she was facing Hermione more fully; there was a fiery intensity in her eyes as she spoke. "I'm going to protect you all, my sisters and you, from the unfairness in this world. There has to be another way to live this life."
Again, like so many weeks ago, the innocent surety of Bellatrix's words made Hermione's heart flutter with a sudden wave of affection. She looked at the girl in front of her with her mouth set in determination and her eyes defiant and the word beautiful bubbled to the forefront of her mind. Hermione had heard tales of Bellatrix's beauty in her youth, but part of her had believed that a monster like Bellatrix Lestrange could not be beautiful. But this girl was more than beautiful, she was radiant and she was enthralling. Hermione found herself desperately wanting to reach out a touch the girl, wanting to get her hands lost in the silky mess of curls, to trace her fingers across the girl's sharp jaw line; to feel the cushiony softness of her pink lips under the pad of her thumb. "Ho…how are you going to protect us?" Hermione stuttered in a voice barely above a dream like whisper, her gaze flicking from Bellatrix's eyes to her lips.
"Well, I've already made a start." Bellatrix replied quietly as she subconsciously shuffled closer to Hermione. "My parents send my sisters and I to elocution and etiquette lessons once a month. They teach us how to talk properly, how to reach for a wine glass correctly when at the dinner table, how to make sure that you gain attention when you enter a room. All of it is done so that we can show that we are women of good breeding. All of it is done to make us appear that we have a few brain cells in our heads but not so many that we might threaten the male ego. Essentially all of it is done so that when the time comes we will attract, what our parents deem to be, the right kind of man."
"Why couldn't you choose the right kind of man for yourselves?" Hermione asked angrily, she couldn't believe that pureblood parents groomed their children for marriage from so early on in their lives. She only realised how angry this had made her when Bellatrix wiggled the fingers that were held too tightly in her hand.
"Because there can be no risk of love in a pureblood marriage. That would muddy the waters far too much." Bellatrix laughed humourlessly as she dipped her head and began picking at bits of lint on her skirt with her free hand. "As the oldest sister it is my job to ensure that Andie and Cissy behave in a way that is fitting for a Black when they are outside of my parents watch. But instead of telling them to sit up straighter at the dinner table and reminding them that they should only ever laugh gently behind their hand, I tell them to be women that people will fear."
A prickle of worry crept up Hermione's spine at the idea that Bellatrix might be coaching her sisters into something dark. "How do you want people to fear them?"
"I have been teaching Cissy Occlumency and Legilimency, she has a real talent for it. Mother feared for a time the she may be telepathic but she is just so naturally skilled at Legilimency that she cannot control when she hears people's thoughts. She has been able to read mine and Andie's minds since she was about three but I have been teaching her how to control it." Bellatrix smiled softly as she talked about her little sister and Hermione noticed the hint of pride in her voice when she mentioned her talents. "Cissy can now slip into your mind without you even knowing she is there and she is closed off like a steel trap if you try to use Occlumency on her. She will either be someone's biggest ally or their biggest threat because nothing is more terrifying than someone who knows more than you."
"So you're teaching her how to protect herself?" Hermione questioned rhetorically as she observed Bellatrix, the girl really did amaze her with her thinking sometimes. "I like that idea."
Bellatrix looked away from Hermione felling a little bit self-conscious under the girl's gaze again. She tried to tuck some hair behind her ear to give her something to do but of course her feral curls wouldn't behave and they just slipped back into her face. She jumped a little when Hermione reached out to re-tuck the fallen lock behind her ear more successfully; the girl's hand lingered in her hair for a few seconds and then retreated. Bellatrix took a shaky breath before she attempted to speak. "I have arranged duelling lessons for Andromeda with Professor Jigger. She is a truly incredible duellist, the best I have ever seen. But she needed some help to tighten things up. Now she can beat Jigger himself, he thinks she should become an Auror."
"Why is it so important that she can duel?" Hermione asked with a hint of worry. Even though she knew there was no chance that Andromeda would side with the Death Eaters, the thought that she may at one point have been trained up for their use was unsettling.
"There will come a time when Andie will leave our family, her heart is too good to be trapped with us lot." Bellatrix said in a sad tone, her gaze slipping from Hermione's face. She didn't want her to see just how much the thought of having to live without Andromeda broke her heart. "My father will go after her when she leaves, his reputation will demand he do so, but if he ever finds her he will not stand a chance against her. She will be a force to be reckoned with."
"And what about you?" Hermione reached out and slipped two fingers under the other girl's chin, forcing her to look at her. She noticed how Bellatrix's eyes were shimmering with tears she had fought to contain. What was it about this girl that made her want to fix her when she looked so broken? Hermione fought the urge to pull the girl into a hug and tell her that everything was going to be ok because she was going to protect her. She knew it would be a lie anyway because if she went along with Dumbledore's plan she would just be another person placing obligations in front of her, another person keeping her caged.
"I think I will just have to take the hit." Bellatrix tried to shrug off the comment as if it was nothing but she knew it looked half hearted. She could feel her emotions getting the better of her and she hated it, she felt smothered by the weight of them. She extracted herself from Hermione's hold on her hand and the closeness of her body to stand up and lean over the railing of the turret. She took large gulps of air to try and quell her sadness and replace it like she always did with anger before snapping. "I'll attend all of the balls where I have to parade around in a fancy dress that shows off my assets and I will smile sweetly in all the right places. Then I'll be auctioned off by my father and I will get married to someone that I will never be able to love."
Hermione stood up cautiously and approached the railing too not getting to close to Bellatrix just yet, knowing that the girl needed a second to have some physical space. "Why do you have to do any of those things though?"
"I have to do it because it will distract my parents long enough to allow my sisters to escape." Bellatrix revealed, her voice levelling out somewhat. "I can live that life if I know that my sisters are free from the same fate."
"Do you really think that you could be happy living with someone that you despise as his housewife and the mother to his heir?" Hermione, asked. She couldn't keep the disgust out of her voice, not at Bellatrix being a housewife or mother but at the thought of her being married to someone else. If this had been any other time, if the girl wasn't stood so close and looking so broken, she would have over analysed that thought. But right now the only thing that mattered was Bellatrix. "That life would drive you crazy."
"I don't believe that I will be happy, I would be a fool to think that I could be. But I realised a long time ago that I would have to sacrifice my own happiness so that my sisters never have to." Bellatrix answered, she finally felt like she had composed herself enough to look back at Hermione again. She couldn't figure out the look that was in the other girl's eyes, it was almost like longing. Or maybe that was just in her own mind. "They have spoken about having their own families and their own children since we were children ourselves. I could not live with myself if I didn't do everything in my power to make sure that they can have that, even if it means that I will miss out on that chance."
Hermione thought about what the girl had just said, she had always assumed that Bellatrix had never had children because she was too busy with her work for Voldemort. It had never occurred to her that the woman's lack of children could have been out of choice, a choice she had made as a teenager. "You don't want children at all?"
"I will not bring something so innocent into a life like mine, subjected to unrealistic expectations every single day. I will not bring my own children into a loveless, dysfunctional marriage. Children are supposed to be a creation of love not a symbol of someone's wealth and status; I will not be part of perpetuating that bullshit." Bellatrix spoke passionate as she stared fiercely into Hermione's eyes, taking a subconscious step closer to her. Needing the comfort that being near to her afforded. "In a dream world I would like to have my own children. I have spent my life so devoid of love from anybody but my sisters and yet I feel as though I have so much of it pent up inside me. It would be nice to have somebody to share that with, to finally feel….wanted."
I soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wanted to add a kiss onto the end. I have spent days thinking about, going from 'yes you totally should' to 'no, no don't'. I know that either way I will regret the choice I make as soon as this chapter is posted. I don't know what to doooooo help! Anyway enough of that. Thank you so much for reading, please review and let me know what you thought. Maybe you could help me out with my kiss dilemma because you know…there is always next chapter ;)