(AN: Wow, I was pleasantly surprised by the reactions to the last chapter. Of course, anyone who was familiar (no pun intended) with my other story should have guessed that it was going to be a doozy based off the Achievement chapter title ;)
Once again I rushed this out so apologies for any errors, I'll get them corrected tout-suite.
So, while it was fun to watch Bradley and co channel Black Hawk Down and Act of Valor in a Disney cartoon trying to rescue Torrez, now we get to see the after-effects of their actions. To paraphrase what Captain Walker remarked in one of the Intel Items in the game, the cost of the Exile's presence in Dubai-I mean, Agabrah, continues to grow LOL.)
PFC Gobbi followed the female Marine through the darkening hallways of the palace. As they ran past a picture window the private saw that the sun was setting, it would be dark soon. He had dozens of questions on his mind, but at the moment the most important was getting the hell out of Dodge. Finally his curiosity got the better of him, when the Marine paused at a juncture he spoke up in a low whisper.
"Uh...ma'am?"
The Marine without warning shoved Gobbi against a wall, pushing him into cover while holding her M9 at the ready. Several palace guards ran past, while the two soldiers remained in cover and unnoticed. She glanced back at the private, as if reading his mind replied.
"To answer your questions, it's Captain Pelayo of the Marine Recon, specifically Marine Light Attack Helo Squadron 169, callsign Deadly."
"Uh, roger that, ma'am. That explains the tattoos and the weapon."
He glanced about.
"So, where's Lt. Bradley?"
Pelayo slowly edged back into the hallway, peering around the corner, then motioned Gobbi to follow.
"Bradley and his bunch decided not to accompany me on this mission...at least not to the princess's boudoir."
Gobbi chuckled as he followed.
"That surprises me, especially Torrez. I'd have thought he'd have given his left nut for an opportunity like this..."
To his surprise, the Marine's stern features creased into a grin.
"Torrez did...up until the point he realized that he's have to dress in drag and/or lose his balls in the process..."
She paused and nodded at Gobbi's weapon.
"You got ammo for that weapon, pria'at?"
In response the private pulled a mag out of his plate carrier and slapped it into the receiver.
"Yes ma'am."
She gestured with her M9.
"If shit hits the fan, I'll need you to provide covering fire. This little peashooter is a good noisemaker, but it's not good for much else."
As they continued Gobbi heard a crackle of static, and a familiar voice spoke up.
"Deadly, this is Misfit Three, `port in..."
Pelayo pulled a military radio seemingly out of nowhere and keyed the mic.
"Misfit Three this is Deadly, be advised, I have the package and am inbound to rally point, ETA five mikes."
The voice, which sounded to Gobbi like Sgt. Torrez, continued through the static.
"Roger that Deadly, looks like you stirred up a hornet's nest, there's guards running all over the palace."
The Marine chuckled again as she responded.
"That's an understatement, Misfit Three. Be advised this is going to be a hot extract, the pri'at's got some ammo for his weapon but you're going to have to provide crew-served backup for the exfil."
"Roger that Deadly, just keep us posted...Misfit Three, out..."
"I'd like to know where the hell you were hiding that radio, ma'am."
Pelayo turned her attention back to Gobbi and glared as she said nothing but unceremoniously shoved the radio back into her bodice.
"Need to know info, pri'at."
She gestured ahead.
"Round that bend is a hallway leads to the main terrace, which is our extract point..."
As they rounded a corner Gobbi heard a shout and instinctively raised his weapon. There, standing in the middle of the hallway was massive man wielding a sword, standing behind him was several other guards. The private recognized him as the captain of the guards. Fareed, for his part, saw where Gobbi was aiming his weapon, and slowly lowered his sword, although he didn't sheath it. He gave the private a wry smile.
"So, giaour...now you are leaving us? You tire of her majesty the princess's company so soon?"
Gobbi chuckled at the large man's humor.
"Sorry big guy, but the princess is gonna be disappointed tonight. I gotta rendezvous with my cadre..."
He paused.
"Hey look, man...whatever went down there in the streets, like I said earlier, it was just fog of war...it was nothin' personal."
Fareed shrugged his massive shoulders.
"The sultan won't see it that way."
The private glanced down at his M4, noting that Fareed and his men were staring at it.
"Fair enough."
He pointed with one gloved finger at his weapon.
"Now, y'all know what this boomstick can do...I don't need to tell ya that."
The private started to back away, and Pelayo followed.
"I don't wanna shoot ya, but me an' the Captain are gonna make that rally point. This thing can turn you and your buddies into hamburger before any of your draw your swords."
He slowly retreated as he continued.
"You don't have to throw your life away."
One of Fareed's men started to advance on Gobbi, but was stopped and held in place by the massive man. He appeared conflicted as he spoke.
"You know that letting you get away will be a stain on my honor, giaour..."
Gobbi shrugged.
"At least you'll still be alive, an' you can regain your honor...Can't regain your life."
Fareed nodded.
"You speak truth, young farangī. But know that to regain my honor I will be forced to hunt you down, even unto the ends of the earth..."
His gaze wandered over to Pelayo, and her revealing outfit, and his expression changed.
"Although, if you are keeping the same company, I wouldn't necessarily mind it..."
The private chuckled.
"Well, you're certainly welcome to try, an' I'd wish you limited success in your searching."
There was a long, pregnant pause as Fareed considered Gobbi's words. For a moment Gobbi thought that he would have to open fire, but then the captain of the guards burst out laughing.
"You are quite a funny one, giaour. I really wish you would just come quietly and save all of us the trouble. Still..."
He turned to his men.
"Go, run to the East Wing, that is where I saw the giaour and his rescuer flee to..."
His right hand man, Hamid, stared in disbelief at his captain.
"B-but, they are standing right here."
The captain directed a glare at him.
"No, they are not, you fool!"
"I am looking right at them!"
"Then your eyes are deceived by their foul foreigner magic, those are obviously mirages. Now go!"
The man only paused for a moment, before he finally drew his own sword and ran off, his compatriots hot on his heels. Fareed was the last to leave, but paused.
"Know that if it were my call to make I would let you go and forget of your existence...but the princess is not so easily dissuaded."
As he left, he spoke in parting.
"If I were you, I would flee very far from here. I hope for your sake that we don't meet again..."
And with that, he left.
Gobbi was still standing there staring as the large man disappeared into the palace, but was brought out of his fugue by a dope slap to the side of his helmet.
"Wake up, sleeping beauty! We gotta move!"
The private followed, and he could see a light ahead as a large door opened to the outside terrace. And, more importantly Gobbi could hear the distinctive chopping noise of a military helicopter approaching outside. As if on cue Pelayo pulled out her radio.
"Misfit Three this is Deadly, be advised we are almost to the rally point..."
Torrez's voice replied through the radio's static.
"Deadly this is Misfit Three, we have eyes on the rally point. Be advised there are beaucoup guards converging on your position."
The two of them paused at the wide door's entrance. Outside, the sun had almost set, bathing the sky and the palace's massive domes in a blood-red light. Gobbi could see a dark shape against the darkening sky, it's anti-collision lights winking on and off. He heard Pelayo speak over the din of the chopper's engines.
"Misfit Three we have eyes on you, get as close as you can to that railing...we'll make a break for it when you give the go-ahead."
"Roger that."
As the craft slowly descended and came closer, Gobbi could see that the chopper was in fact a SH-60 Seahawk, it's grey paint job also reflecting the red glare of the sunset. Suddenly, out of the darkness arrows whistled through the air and glanced off the chopper's airframe. He could hear someone else on the radio shout out.
"Arrows, arrows, arrows! Enemy tangos, two o'clock!"
The crew-served M249 aboard the chopper opened up, and tracer fire struck the side of the palace. Pelayo keyed the mic on her radio.
"Misfit Three, continue suppressing fire and when you give the signal we will exfil!"
The arrow fire diminished, then Gobbi heard a voice in the static.
"Go, go, go!"
He took off running, his boots pounding on the polished marble stones of the terrace. Pelayo watched as the private dodged a couple of arrows, but still managed to jump into the safety of the chopper's interior. Then chopper banked sharply to the left as something barely missed it, and the Marine's heart sank as she heard Torrez's voice on the radio.
"Shit! They got a goddamned ballista! Taking evasive maneuvers!"
She fought down a panic as she keyed the mic.
"Take that fucker out! Don't leave my ass hanging in the breeze!"
As if in response the Seahawk pivoted in position, then with a loud whoosh! one of its Hellfire missiles streaked off to the side. The entire palace shook with a loud explosion as the missile hit its target and detonated.
"Misfit Three I am inbound, get as close as you can and make sure that damned door is open!"
Not even waiting for a response she made a break for it.
Pelayo's heart was pounding in her chest, she could hear arrows whizzing past her head, she could almost feel them brush her bare skin as they flew past. Her breath felt like battery acid in her lungs, her muscles felt like they were on fire as they burned with lactic acid, but still she ran.
Twenty feet...ten feet...she could hear the shouts of the guards behind her. Although she somehow knew they were still in the palace in her heightened state it sounded like they were right on her heels.
When she was less than five feet away Pelayo braced off the railing and took a flying leap.
Time slowed down as she stretched out her arms to the chopper's crew chief. PFC Mayfield was leaning out of the open door to grab her.
For a terrible moment those outstretched arms were too far away. Then time sped back up, and she felt a pair of gloved hands grab her by the elbows. Mayfield and Gobbi hauled her into the chopper's interior, almost knocking the wind out of her. Pelayo didn't care. She had made it.
She glanced over to PFC Gobbi, who was grinning at her.
"That was a helluva leap, ma'am."
Pelayo caught her breath and nodded.
"Same to you, pri'at. Just don't expect me to do that again."
She saw that the private was staring at Sgt. Torrez, who was in the pilot's seat. The sergeant glanced back at Gobbi, and grinned.
"What? You were expecting someone else?"
Captain Pelayo settled into her seat, while Gobbi was being grilled by Pvt. Davis and Mayfield. Specifically, about the princess.
"...C'mon Pete! Spill, was she as hot as she was in the cartoon?"
Gobbi shrugged.
"I dunno, I guess?"
Davis leaned forward.
"You guess?! Do you know how many times I fantasized about being in the same room as Princess Jasmine? Hell, I was twelve when that came out on VHS and was fapping to her and that bare-your-midriff outfit she was wearin'!"
The medic grinned.
"Even got permanently eighty-sixed from Disneyland for it!"
"OKaaay TMI, Corey..."
Mayfield secured his weapon and leaned forward to speak to Gobbi over the cabin noise.
"Okay man, I'll break it down, Barney-style. On a scale of one to ten, what was she?"
"Oh, a ten easy. She was all decked out and hot as hell..."
"What?!" Davis exclaimed.
"...An' you're telling me she was throwing herself at you and you didn't smash that like the Incredible Hulk?"
Gobbi glanced over to Pelayo, who was shaking her head.
"Well, for one thing, she's a spoiled brat."
"Eh, that just means Romeo and her are made for each other."
Davis persisted.
"So, she was trying to get into your pants, and you didn't smash becaaauuse?"
"Dude, she's like 16."
"So?"
"So, you haven't heard of '16 will getcha 20?"
Davis shrugged.
"That's real world rules. In case you haven't noticed, we're not in the real world anymore. We're in some weird-ass magical Storybook `verse."
Gobbi shook his head.
"Well, I don't give a shit what world we're in, it's still wrong!"
Mayfield chimed in.
"Hey, for all we know this could be the good afterlife, y'know like Heaven or Valhalla. It could be our sacred duty to smash all these hot princesses, and you're shirking your duty!"
Davis grinned.
"Unless you don't swing that way...I get it, you were probably fapping to Aladdin because he looks like Tom Cruise?"
"Fuck you, Davis."
Mayfield laughed.
"Yeah, I'll bet you watch Top Gun for the volleyball scene, too!"
"Fuck you, too Mayfield!"
Torrez called back from the cockpit, throwing in his two cents.
"Hey, I'll testify, I saw her. She's hot and I'd totally smash that in every hole...don't care if I did get arrested or thrown in the dungeon for it..."
Gobbi saw Pelayo still shaking her head.
"I'm Marine Recon, and here I am babysitting a bunch of fucking immature grunts..."
He then turned to Davis.
"Hey, speaking of which, where the fuck was Aladdin in all this shit-show? He was s'pposed to rescue Jasmine..."
The medic shrugged.
"Got his ass cut up in the failed evac. He's recuperating back at the oasis."
He grinned at Gobbi.
"Speaking of which, I'd really like to know how you're gonna break the news to Romeo..."
"About what?"
"About what transpired between his beloved princess and you, Pete."
Gobbi nervously fingered the bolt on his M4.
"I told ya, nothing happened...Look, I'll break it to him..."
Torrez spoke up again.
"That's not a good idea, pri'at...at least not without backup. Romeo's a hothead..."
"Not to worry, I got this...besides, he's wounded right? How much of a threat could he be?"
(30 minutes later, at the Oasis...)
PFC Gobbi jumped back as the razor sharp curved sword came within inches of his plate carrier. The one swinging the blade was the young thief, dressed in bandages and no less lethal. And also mad as hell.
"Vile son of a Jackal! I shall kill you for deflowering my beloved desert flower!"
The private held up his hands.
"Hey, Easy the fuck does it kid! There weren't no deflowering or flowering of any kind! An' besides, that gal threw herself at me, not the other way around!"
Gobbi had to dodge another attack as the youth charged at him.
"Lies! You wish to defile her character like you defiled her body! I will not allow it!"
Captain Pelayo sighed as she watched the drama unfold. The Marine glanced off to the side and saw SGT Torrez guffawing along with PVT Davis.
"Hey Pete! What was that crack about you got this? Looks like you `bout to 'got' cut a new asshole!"
Gobbi dodged another attack and looked over to Connors and Bradley, who were also laughing, albeit at a safe distance.
"C'mon, Chuck! Ah could use some help here!"
SSG Connors shook his shaved head, still chuckling.
"Uh-uh sorry Pete, you're on your own, boy. I already got cut once in Atlanta in a street fight, and after that I stay away from that shit. As long as Prince Romeo over there is wielding that katana I'm stayin' out."
"It's a fucking scimitar, not a katana!"
Pete narrowly missed being decapitated.
"Katana's are Japanese!"
Connors shrugged.
"Whatever it's called, I'm keeping my big black ass as far away that sharp shit as possible."
The female Marine glared at Torrez.
"Why don't you do something, sergeant?"
Torrez chuckled.
"Not my circus, not my monkees, sweetheart."
She then looked over to Bradley.
"And you, lieutenant?"
Lt. Bradley wanted to intervene, but like Connors obviously didn't want to get cut.
"Ah, ma'am unless that's an order, I'm following Connors on this..."
Pelayo pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation.
"Oh, for fuck's sake..."
The Marine marched up to Aladdin, and without warning lashed out. In a blink of an eye she had grabbed Aladdin by the wrist, wrenched the sword out of his hand, and spun the lad into a hammerlock.
"That's enough, loverboy."
The teen struggled in the Marine's much stronger grip.
"Ayah! Let go of me, Woman who dresses like a Man, your mannish hands are hurting me."
Pelayo glared at him.
"Yeah, that's the point. And for that little crack-"
She twisted his arm further up his back, causing him to yelp in pain.
"Now you're going to say you're sorry to Gobbi for trying to kill him, then to me for calling me mannish."
The young thief struggled, but to no avail. Finally he gave up.
"Woman who dresses like a Man, I apologize to you for calling you masculine. Pete Gobbi of the Rank of Private First Class, I am sorry for trying to kill you in revenge for seducing my beloved..."
Pelayo let go, and watched as Aladdin shuffled off. Davis started after him, but Bradley stopped him.
"Leave him be. He'll cool off."
The Marine helped Gobbi back to his feet.
"You alright, pri'at?"
Gobbi nodded.
"Thanks ma'am, that makes two times y'all have saved my ass..."
She sighed.
"Yeah...don't make a habit of it...Kerrist on a motorbike it's like I'm back in JROTC again, surrounded by immature idiots. Only now they're Army grunts."
She turned her attention back to Bradley.
"So, what now?"
The lieutenant scratched the two-day stubble on his cheek.
"Dunno. Probably lay low at let shit die down. We still need to help Romeo get his treasure."
Captain Pelayo folded her arms.
"Weren't you listening during my AAR debriefing? That princess is not gonna just take this lying down, not until she has Gobbi lying down with her. We have to come up with some sort of plan."
She shivered in the night air, still wearing her revealing harem outfit.
"And worse, I left my flightsuit and gear back at the palace in our haste to get the fuck outta dodge..."
Torrez stepped up.
"I gotta agree with the Captain on this one. One, apart of Gobbi we're all low on ammo, so if the princess sic's her dad's army on us we won't survive a protracted firefight."
He pointed to the Seahawk.
"Two, we have a chopper and a pilot, let's just cut our losses and get the fuck outta Dodge."
Bradley held up his hands.
"Look, I understand your concerns, but there's no point in jumping to conclusions or making rash decisions. That's how we got in this mess to begin with. Now, starting tomorrow morning we'll regroup and figure something out."
He nodded to Mayfield.
"Private, you guard the chopper and the HUMVEE. Don't let any desert bandits get near it."
He turned to Davis.
"Davis, make sure Aladdin doesn't rip his bandages or anything."
Finally Bradley looked over to Gobbi.
"As for you, there is some questions I have."
He looked over to Connors, who shifted uneasily in his boots.
"Who's side are you on?"
Gobbi stared at the lieutenant dumbfoundedly.
"What're you talking about, sir?"
Bradley frowned.
"I mean, whose side did you take during the Mutiny?"
Pelayo looked puzzled, but the private finally responded.
"Same as yours, sir. We sided with Colonel Konrad, of course!"
That revelation shocked Bradley. He remembered less than three days ago fleeing Dubai after the last battle at the Exiles' base. But, the lieutenant also had recurring nightmares every night since then, about how he sided with the Damned and was killed by some rogue CIA kill-team. He looked over to Connors, who seemed to be reading his mind. He then looked back to Gobbi and continued.
"How...how did you show up here?"
Gobbi set down his helmet and sat down.
"I was fragged by Captain Walker and his team in Dubai. Then I ended up in a forest, where this old wizard dude named Merlin was tellin' me that I was gonna be a hero in this world."
He glanced over to Pelayo and chuckled.
"First day on the job and I fucked up royally..."
Connors stepped up.
"Pri'at...when you...when you got fragged, did you see someone else?"
Gobbi nodded.
"Yeah, there was this really pretty lady named the Weaver of Fate...she was the one who said that I could become a hero."
Connors looked over to Bradley.
"Sir, I know I was with you when Long gave the orders to retreat. I vividly remember it. But I also remember being one of the last of the Damned 33rd in Dubai...at the Gatehouse by the Bridge. I was there when Walker killed me. And afterwards I saw someone, I thought she was my guardian angel or somethin'. But she said the same thing to me, that I could be a hero..."
Bradley was about to respond when Pelayo spoke up.
"Okay, the weird afterlife shit I get, I met someone too, although it was a guy. But what in the actual fuck are you guys talking about with this mutiny shit?"
The lieutenant gave a start. All this time, he hadn't told the Marine about what went down in Dubai.
"Captain, what had you heard about the Damned 33rd?"
She shrugged.
"That you guys were stranded in Dubai after the sandstorms got worse. That's it."
Lt. Bradley looked over to Gobbi, who spoke.
"Well, that's part of the story. What really happened was before the storms got worse Colonel Konrad found out the authorities weren't going to help the civilians stranded in Dubai, so he volunteered to stay behind and organize an evacuation. The Pentagon refused his request, and ordered him to take the 33rd and leave. He defied that order, and we stayed behind to help."
He stopped.
"Konrad really thought the Evacuation would work, but it ended in complete failure. His command staff, led by LTC Long, tried to convince Konrad to leave Dubai, but by that point the Old Man was dead set on not abandoning the civvies. Long and roughly three companies tried to go AWOL with some salvaged civilian airliners, some hotheaded company commander still loyal to Konrad escalated things, and..."
He saw Pelayo's eyes widened in horror.
"The Damned 33rd went to war with itself, with Long and the men loyal to him on one side, and Konrad and the remaining 33rd loyal to him on the other. The TL;Dr version is that Konrad and his men prevailed, he executed his command staff to make an example out of them. The Mutiny and its after-effects broke Konrad, he committed suicide shortly afterwards, but not before ordering us to send out a broadcast beacon to the outside world. Then, the rest of the surviving 33rd hunkered down trying to keep the civvies and waited for help to come."
The Marine was silent for a long time, then uttered one word.
"Fuck."
Bradley nodded.
"Yeah, that about sums it up. Anyways, it appears that some of us sided with Konrad, only to be killed afterwards, and then were given a second chance."
He saw Connors yawn.
"Look, what I said earlier, I think we should all get some shuteye and reconvene tomorrow to plot our next move."
He started to make his way back to the shelter by the oasis, but paused by Gobbi.
"For what it's worth I'm sorry, private. Sorry for doubting your loyalty."
(the next morning...)
"Um, El-tee? Sir?"
Bradley was still half-asleep as he heard what sounded like Mayfield calling out to him. He started awake as someone shook him.
"Wake the fuck up, lieutenant! We gotta situation!"
The lieutenant opened his eyes, and grabbed his weapon at the sight that unfolded before him.
The entire oasis was surrounded by heavily armed men, including dozens of crossbowmen that were aiming at the 33rd soldiers. Bradley cursed as he saw PFC Mayfield being held by one of the Royal Guards. The private shrugged sheepishly.
"I...kinda fell asleep, sir. And when I woke up these guys already got the drop on me..."
Bradley heard Pelayo snort.
"And it gets better. Last night Aladdin managed to give Davis the slip and stormed off to the palace, and got his ass captured and condemned to death for accosting the princess in her chambers."
The lieutenant slowly followed the Marine as he made his way to where the rest of the soldiers were, taking whatever scant cover the oasis offered.
"It appears as though our street rat friend sold us up the river, to curry favor with the sultan, and more importantly just to save his own neck..."
Torrez, who was aiming his UMP-45, shrugged.
"Well, he is a street-savvy thief."
Gobbi was crouched by Davis, but recognized the massive man leading the army. It was Fareed, the captain of the Royal Guards. He saw the private, and pointed his sword at him.
"That giaour must be taken unharmed, and unshackled, the princess's orders. On her orders, if so much as a hair is harmed on his head, if he receives so much as a cut or bruise on his fair skin, then the one who inflicted that injury shall suffer twenty lashes from my whip for each offense."
He pointed to the other 33rd soldiers.
"The rest of those foreign invaders are expendable."
Fareed's gaze fell on Pelayo, who leered at her.
"Her, she is to be led to the sultan's harem, after a stopover in my chambers."
Gobbi stood up.
"Well, that was quick...an' you weren't kiddin' when you said the princess was determined."
The massive man gave a self-deprecating smile.
"I did warn you to leave quickly, young man."
The private returned the man's smile, although it was not as genuine.
"So, what makes you think you're gonna walk outta here, bub? You got us outnumbered, but we ain't goin' quiet like."
Fareed nodded.
"'Tis true, young man. But, I have a feeling unless you have significant spares the munitions you utilize for those thunder weapons are depleted, otherwise you would have opened fire on us sooner."
He looked at Gobbi.
"You will be overrun, and 'tis true many of my men will die taking you. But take you we will, and when we have taken your companions, they will not be killed. My men are on orders to shoot to wound and incapacitate. Your companions will be taken into custody, then tortured, tormented until they will be begging Allah for release."
He took a step forward.
"Since you are a soldier yourself, I think you do not want such a fate for your companions."
Pelayo raised her hand.
"Ah, actually, if it's all the same to you, I'll take my chances with the arrows and finish myself off with my M9..."
Fareed continued.
"If you leave now, and come quietly we can avoid this bloodshed, I will give you my word that your companions will be treated fairly, that none shall suffer torment."
Gobbi glanced back to Bradley, who summed it up with two words.
"Well, shit."
The private then looked over to Pelayo. The Marine glared at him.
"Got any more bright ideas, pri'at?"
Gobbi thought for a long while, then a light came on.
"Ah...anyone got a phone?"
Lt. Bradley stood up and reached into his pocket. As he approached Gobbi he pulled out an smartphone.
"Yeah, I still got my Iphone, but good luck getting a-"
He stopped as he powered it up.
"Hey waitaminnit, it's got signal!"
Gobbi pulled out a small slip of paper from one of the pockets on his plate carrier, then looked back over to Fareed.
"Okay, big Guy, you win. I'll come quietly. Just give me a few minutes with my buddies."
He looked around.
"Could you give us some space, y'know? We're not going anywhere."
Fareed looked puzzled. His right hand man Hamid spoke up.
"Don't! It must be a trick!"
The captain cuffed his man.
"Be silent, fool!"
He then addressed Gobbi.
"Very well, but no tricks! You are completely surrounded, and your engines of transport, including your metal dragon, are out of your reach..."
He gave the signal to fall back. As they retreated Hamid spoke up again.
"You do realize that Princess Jasmine, may Allah continue to bless her angelic beauty, said that if you failed in your task then you would receive fifty lashes."
He winced as Fareed dope-slapped him.
"If you speak again I'll put a crossbow bolt in your knee."
(Meanwhile in a Forest in the English countryside)
Arthur scampered up to his mentor, the wizard Merlin. Both had different appearances now, as the wizard had changed them both into squirrels, as part of Arthur's education. But by now, with both of them being on the receiving end of unwanted attention from the females of the species, it was clear that the boy's fun meter was pegged.
"Merlin! I'm tired of being a squirrel, it's nothing but trouble!"
The wizard, who had taken the form of a grey squirrel, huffed.
"You've got trouble? Look at my-er that is look back there!"
Arthur could see that the granny squirrel was quite smitten as well, but before he could respond, he heard some unfamiliar jingling noise. Merlin paused in his rant.
"Oh bother, who could it be now?"
He reached into a fur pocket and pulled out a small flip phone.
"H-hello, Merlin speaking?"
He paused and adjusted his glasses.
"Oh, hello Pete! How are things?"
There was another pause, and he gave a start.
"Oh...OH! Oh dear me, that's terrible!"
He readjusted his pince-nez as he continued speaking.
"No, no, don't worry about it Pete. I'll think of something, just stay put."
Still obviously flustered he shut his mobile.
"What is it, Merlin?"
"Oh dear, one of my other charges has managed to get himself in quite a pickle..."
He started to walk off, but was stopped abruptly as the granny squirrel was still holding onto his tail. She chortled seductively as she gave his bushy tail another tug.
"Great elephants! Madam, I don't have time for this!"
He tried pulling his tail free, but stumbled and fell off the branch of the tree that they were perched on, and crashed twenty feet below into a large bush. The granny squirrel scampered down to the ground, but could still hear his voice.
"By George! I've had enough of this nonsense! ALAKAZAM!"
In an atom bomb explosion, Merlin literally sprouted out of the tree, imposing and terrible as a human, causing the granny squirrel to scream.
He glared at the squirrel.
"There! Now you see? I'm an ugly, horrible, grouchy old man!"
Merlin turned to leave, only to hear Arthur calling out.
"Wait, what about me?"
He looked up, seeing the Wart still in squirrel form being glomped by the female squirrel.
"Er, Wart? I'm afraid you're going to be on your own for a bit."
He pulled out his wand.
"But Merlin!"
"I'm sorry boy, but I have pressing business!"
The wizard looked over to his owl familiar.
"Oh Archimedes? Look after the Wart, would you? I'll be back in...a while..."
With that Merlin the wizard raised his wand, and in a puff of smoke, disappeared.
Fareed was waiting by the edge of the oasis. It had been almost twenty minutes. One of his men, out of boredom had climbed on top of the foreigner's air chariot. He heard Hamid speak up.
"We should go and check on the young foreigner, captain."
But his commander shushed him, as he saw a rider in the distance arrive from the city. The horse galloped right up to Fareed, and breathlessly handed him a scroll. He read the message, and a smile split his scarred face, revealing blackened, crooked teeth.
"Ah, excellent, her majesty the princess has received the good news, and I shall be richly rewarded!"
He waved the rider towards the camels carrying water, then signaled his men.
"Come!"
As he crested the hill, he called out to the young foreigner named Gobbi.
"Young man! It is time to go, I've just told the princess the good news!"
Fareed stepped over the outcropping and stopped dead in his tracks. The oasis was deserted.
No, he thought to himself. It's not possible!
He ran down to the oasis, searching around. The shelter, the palm trees, even the rocks around the water source. The young foreigner named Gobbi, the comely houri, and all of his companions were gone. He muttered to himself.
"And now I'm in deep shit..."
He heard Hamid running towards him with a cadre of men, calling out to him.
"Captain! The air chariot, and the mechanized wagon! They have disappeared!"
He stopped as he saw the pathetic expression on the massive man's face.
"And where are the foreigners?"
"Gone."
In spite of the situation, a grin creased Hamid's face.
"I guess the joke is on you, Captain!"
That snapped Fareed out of his trance. The large man walked over to one of the soldiers with Hamid.
"May I see your weapon, janissary?"
The man offered the head guard his weapon, who took it and shot a bolt into Hamid's knee, causing the man to cry out in pain.
(AN: And thus ends the Exiles' training mission, which I can safely say ended in complete failure. What can I say, trying to play the hero, Call of Duty-style in a Disney story won't end well. What I was going for (and this will be a recurring theme throughout the story) is a deconstruction of the power fantasy that pretty much every boy had who watched Aladdin or any of the Disney movies as a kid, wouldn't it be cool if I were a badass soldier SI who was able to help the hero and possibly flirt with the princess? Well, the failed training mission showed what would happen. And if anyone thought the street scenes were reminiscent of movies like Black Hawk Down, well, that wasn't by happenstance, either :)
Thankfully Merlin was able to pull their asses out of the fire, but rest assured, this isn't the end of it. Bonus points to everyone who got all the references in this arc, including the Skyrim and Mel Brooks references...Oh, and also those who are alumni of ZSNT might notice that someone else was piloting the Sea Hawk. Well, for starters Tebby in this verse is one of the Exile officers that was executed by Konrad. Honestly me naming one of the three Little Bird soldiers in ZSNT Bowles and Tebby was critical research failure on my part, since at the time I hadn't acquired the Intel Item that named all the executed Exile officers. And honestly I couldn't fit Cpl. Tebby in this early. I probably will introduce him later in the story, but not now. Next chapter should be up soonish, we've only got a couple more before reuniting Long with his men, and then we can officially begin the story with Exiles vs Damned in the Disney world. Until then, don't touch that dial, and don't forget to follow/fav and comment!)