Reviews:
Gabe2000: I might use your idea of a genestealer pineapple for later use. I am glad to hear that you are liking the story so far.
Guest: I will keep those omake ideas in the bag, incase another chapter like this happens or if one can be put at the end of a chapter.
Janne Rolfe Jalandoni: The foolish feudals will soon find that the fruition of a time free of war is for naught. Abandon reason, know only war! The Adeptus Mechanicus is prepared for blood to be spilled, but the primitives may not.
ForgeMaster 00: Yeah, Forge is helping me write the omakes. If you want to help out as well, join the discord!
Jetjedi (From Chapter 14): Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!
Speech Syntaxes:
+Speech+ Lingua-Technis
"Speech" Low Gothic/English/Daemonic Speak
"Speech" Amplified Low Gothic/Daemonic Yelling
Chapter's Pre-Readers:
Notes: Since I am planning on doing a Halloween Special, I will not have enough time to write an acceptable regular chapter. And to wait till the end of the month to post a chapter would be longer than needed. So Forge gave me the idea that I should make a chapter purely out of Omakes. The chance of this ever happening again if up to fate.
Discord Link: /CCVq47H (if it does not work pm me)
Omake Chapter One
Adventures of Toaster and Forge #01: The Heist
On the forgeworld of [REDACTED] we find a tech priest Magos with octopus inspired legs augments approaching a pedestal that is being bathed in a holy aura. For on that pedestal is his prize. A toaster. The tech-priest glances at the bag of nuts and bolts being held by one of his mechadendrites. He judges his goal before emptying 56 grams of scrap metal from the pouch. With a swift and practiced motion he swaps the toaster with the bag of metal. The Magos takes a moment to pray to the Omnissiah for his success, but his prayers were terminated with the sound of klaxon alarms rebounding through the forge. The tech-priest cursed to himself from not taking his sicarian infiltrator augments with him.
His personal servo-skull reports hearing thousands upon thousands of galvanic rifles being armed. But before he could prepare to be riddled with holes, an ironclad hand of a marine grabbed onto his green cloak with yellow edges yanking him backwards. The Magos turns around to see a Martian tech priest with a yellow angry marine. +Fuck,+ was all the green tech-priest could say before a new group entered the conflict. A hoard of necron scarabs all eyeing the toaster with an unnatural hunger fit only for a Tyranid. The space marine drops the thief of a tech-priest to engage the xenos.
The Magos started to mumble to himself as he watched the encounter unfold. +Give the toaster to the marine or the xenos.+ One of his mechadendrites came out from under his robes to point at the angry marine and started bouncing between the astartes and the scarabs. +Eine mini miny…MINE!+ The tech-priest bolted to the door, past the marine using a power chair to squash the necron constructs. As he turned around the corner he spotted a peculiar sight. A black robed Magos unloading a full canister of plasma into a female, who strangely enjoyed it - much to the displeasure of the Magos. By the time the green Magos understood what was happening, the angry marine leading a legion of skitarii rounded the corner.
+Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.+ muttered the thief as his refractor shield lit up his path as the galvanic rifles began to unload into it. He ordered his bionic repair modules to be overclocked as the tech-priest turned at every corner he saw. His silent prayer to the Omnissiah were answer when he spotted the doors to the hanger. +This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Magos Toaster.+ taunted the now named tech-priest as he locked the hanger door behind him.
Toaster's personal cogitators warned him that the doors will not hold for long. But he dismissed that warning remembering how Dark Angel Terminators used doors to hold off Broodlords while on a space hulk. Focusing his attention to the room he now found himself in, the Magos spotted a Martian enginseer doing a maintenance check on a tank of a pattern he did not recognize. And by the grace of the Omnissiah the enginseer did not notice him yet. Toaster moved to steal the tank, but a clicking sound stopped him in his tracks. The Magos turned to see a lone necron scarab coming out of the door's control ports. Its focus was on Toaster's toaster. The Magos stepped backward to avoid the xenos, while doing so he accidentally started the activation sequence of the tank without saying the Litany of Ignition.
The tank punches through the wall with the Martian Enginseer chasing it, with the Magos following behind with the scarab chasing. Toaster began to think out his options. 'Okay, now I just have to kill this scarab and get back to my ship.' His mechadendrites searched his pockets for an answer to his dilemma. 'Eradication ray? Nope that would be overkill. Omnissian axe? Don't want to risk harming the toaster while in melee. Xenos technology…who put this here! Macrostubber? Lacking firepower. Ah this will do.' Two of his mechadendrites pulled out an augmented skull. Toaster spoke to the remains of the corpse, +Ah Bill-315, one of my servo-skulls I…found on my last mission.+ The Magos chucked the skull without care at the scarab destroying it. On the horizon, he spotted his only chance of escape. His own ship; surrounded by the legion of skitarii, a squad of angry marines, and a full anti titan gun. But then the five o'clock shift end and everyone goes to their living habits to relax the rest of the day.
Toaster slouched down in his chair, with the holy toaster in his lap as the bounded crew began to leave the forge world. But his ship had an unwanted passenger in the form of a xenos scarab with a skull shaped dent on its shell. This guest was currently having a snack out of the toaster. The green robed tech-priest stared at the necron construct as it took another bite out of the pure machine. +NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO%#^#}{]{()457+,|4)$$:%^+ screamed the Magos as his vox started to malfunction due to the volume of the sound. Toaster's eradication ray quickly charged to full power before unleashing its wrath upon the xenos. The tech-priest cradled the remains of the immortal toaster in his hands as he curled into a ball on the floor on his ship. If Toaster did completely augment his face, then it would be coated by a river of tears.
Just as the ship landed and the hatch begins to open, the Magos spots the female that was attacked by the Stygies Magos earlier. She stares at the remains of the scarab, the smell of burnt ozone reached Toaster's receptors as the xenos construct came back to life. But she was graceful enough to create a pile of toasters for the tech-priest before leaving with the scarab and the damaged relic. The Magos' cogitators bricked due to an overload of euphoria. His honor squad of secutarii hoplites moved to the landing pads to bring their owner and the pile of venerable toasters to the inner sanctums of the forge.
Adventures of Toaster and Forge #02: The difference of HATE and Angry
The lights of the forge illuminate the room, while the time of day is unknown their senses informed them it was near night. But night has no relevance in the sealed metal rooms of ceaseless work. But in defiance a greater daemon of Khorne screamed out into the endless halls, "SKARBRAND HATES WAITING FOR UPDATES!"
"Silence you impudent brat!" berated a greater daemon of Tzeentch. His second head spoke, "I would not resent an exchange of words."
"SKARBRAND HATES BEING YELLED AT!" yelled the Bloodthirster at the fellow entity of the warp.
The second head of the Lord of Change muttered, "Would it be considered yelling if he always yells?"
A female tech-priest grabbed in red robes with a childlike appearance around her joined the conversation. "Ok shut up please, some of us are trying to sleep!"
"SKARBRAND HATES THE QUIET!" bellows Skarbrand as he has to bend his neck to see the crimson tech-priest.
"Well Skarbrand will hate what I'm about to do more! So shut up!" argued the mortal to the two immortal creatures.
The daemon countered, "SKARBRAND CANNOT HATE ANYTHING MORE THAN HE ALREADY DOES, AND AS SUCH SKARBRAND HATES YOUR SUGGESTION!"
The tech-priest pulled out a modified vox-hololith and started a call. Kairos' second head noticed an image of a bowl of soup with curse words surrounding it on the display screen of the machine, as his primary head peered into the weaves of fate. Both head spoke in a discordant unison, "fRaKk." The greater daemon spawned a portal to the immaterial plane before hastily slipping into it.
"Well you asked for it!" threatened Rose.
From the security room a red robbed tech-priest gasped to his fellow tech-priest next to him. +Oh dear god no! Toaster, grab your stuff. We need to bail, NOW!+
Toaster used his hive of mechadendrites to hold sixty four melta bombs before giving them to Forge. The green robed Magos agreed with his ally, +I will get the scared machines! Forge, set melta bombs on anything we can't bring! We can't let either of them defile this place!+
The Forge Master Leo nodded in agreement, but both of their tasks were terminated when an 8.5 level earthquake affected the entire forge. +By the Omnissiah he's already here! Did I ever tell you who Rose's father was?+ questioned Forge as they both started to leave the security room.
+I heard rumors, and I pray they were false.+ Toaster hoped as they were approaching the hangers.
As they reached the hallway to get to the hanger the Forge Master started explaining. +If they were about her father being a space marine, then it is true! Even worse, is his Legion! He's an-!+
The pair of tech-priest were knocked off their feet due to a second explosion coming from the hanger door. An adeptus astarte colored with pure yellow with a red trim, on his chest plate was a crimson circle that had two eyes, a frown, and a giant pair of black eyebrows. The marine yelled at the top of his enhanced lungs, "ANGRY MARINE!"
+Oh frakk! Quick, machine spirit of the forge! Activate defense program!+ ordered Forge, to which the machine spirit obeyed. A void shield was activated around the pair of tech-priest. Before the Angry Marine could attempt to break the energy wall down two more entered the encounter.
"Angry Dad!" joyously screamed Rose with a greater daemon in tow.
Skarbrand yelled in despair, "SKARBRAND WAS WRONG! SKARBRAND HATES BEING WRONG!" The astartes and the exiled of Khorne charged at each other with their own battle cries echoing throughout the forge- a myriad of curses and 'HATE' respectively. Rose was in the background of the fight waving a small flag that said 'Go Angry Dad!'
The green robed tech-priest questioned his college, +I heard Rose's father was a greater daemon of Khorne. But I think that this might be worse. Back to matter involving our survival, how long will the void shield hold?+
+Long enough for us to get into the Macrocarid Explorator. I made this one with a Flare Shield and thrice blessed armored ceramite.+ explained the Forge Master as the Magos began to remove items from his cloak.
Toaster pulled out the detonator as he gave Forge a simple order. +You go first, I will be right behind you after I detonate all of the melta bombs.+ Instead of replying, Forge's form flickered light a faulty lightbulb. The Magos now noticed the servo-skull behind the hologram that was projecting the image. A war horn blared from the hanger, the green robed tech-priest quickly scuttled to the Macrocarid Explorator to slither into the passenger seat. +Have you recited the Litany of Ignition?+
+Yes. And Rose has the gunner seat incase anything attacks us.+ Forge replied as his steel foot slammed onto the accelerator. The Macrocarid Explorator left the hanger at high speeds through the Macrocarid Explorator shaped hole that was created earlier. Allowing them to escape the clash of the titans.
"SKARBRAND WILL DESTROY YOU! SKARBRAND HATES DESTROYING ANGRY MARINES SLIGHTLY LESS!" bellowed the Bloodthrister.
Fucking Soup agreed with him, "I KNOW YOU DO BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?! IT'S TIME TO CRUSH YOUR BITCH ASS BACK INTO THE WARP!"
The melta charges detonated at the exact second Fucking Soup's and Skarbrand's fist collided. The result was a tear in the warp in place of the entire forge. Forge looked back at the ruins of his home through the rear view mirror. +Damn it…that's the third forge this year.+
+Do not worry. You can stay at my forge until your forge is rebuilt,+ Toaster stated in an attempt to cheer up the fellow servant of the Omnissiah.
The Forge Master let out a sigh of relief, +Thanks, just no pineapples please. You know I hate those.+
Three miles above a random forest no Remnant we find the falling form of Skarbrand getting suplexed by Fucking Soup. "SKARBRAND HATES FALLING!"
"AND I HATE YOUR YELLING!" countered Soup as he let go of the greater daemon before they impacted the planet. Resulting in a nearby mountain range of Mistral collapsing, leaving the continent in ruins. The astartes taunted the rubble, "That's what your bitch ass gets!"
The light of the sun was blocked out by a gusher of broken soil as Skarbrand broke the earthen tomb, "SKARBRAND HATES HUMILIATION! SKARBRAND WILL NOT PROCEED TO PUNCH YOU!" True to his statement - why would he lie, he does not serve Tzee…wait - Fucking Soup was sent at terminal velocity across the crystal blue oceans.
The angry marine landing in a five foot tall mound of snow that was under the gaze of a pure white city. "What the hell?" The astartes sat up and grabbed at the white powered as if it confused him. "WHY THE HELL AM I IN PANSY ASS ATLAS?!" On the horizon a red speck could be seen, and it was growing larger by the second. Soup hastily got on his feet, his arms thrusted into the ground below himself. "I'M FUCKING READY FOR YOUR ASS THIS TIME!" Channeling his eternal rage into his arms, Fucking Soup lifted the entire city of Atlas. To which he used as an improvised bludgeoning weapon against the greater daemon.
Fucking Soup stood on top of all of the rubble; using a power sword as a pencil on a random scrap of stone that he found. "Here lies the most PANSY ASS people I knew," stated the marine as we wrote on the improvised grave stone. But before the astartes could go home, the mound of rubble started to shake.
"SKARBRAND HATES GETTING CRUSHED BY A CITY!" You might be wondering how he survived all of that blunt force trauma, but then again Skarbrand did survive getting bitchslapped by Khorne across the warp. "SKARBRAND WILL SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!" Using his unholy speed, the Bloodthirster chucked Soup to the shattered moon - making it even more broken.
The Angry Marine watched Remnant from space, but it appears when he broke the moon even more caused it to be pulled further into the planet's gravitational pull. Soup was proved wrong when he realized that it was not the moon moving towards the planet, it was the planet heading towards the moon. All by the deeds of Skarbrand's unquantifiable strength. "Well I'm boned." The pure energy caused by the impact sent the astartes to an unknown place.
+You know, I'm surprised it worked out that well. Normally Fucking Soup runs after me and tries to beat me to death for attempting to escape from him.+ commented Forge as the Macrocarid Explorator approached a new forge in the distance.
His co-pilot groaned as he rubbed his face with his hands. +Motive Force preserve me. You just tempted Tzeentch to fuck with us.+ In the warp, an oversized two headed chicken sneezed in twelve different tongues.
The driver only dismissed his claims, +Meh, it can't be that bad. I mean Fucking Soup doesn't even know where you live. And I took away Rose's terminal so she can't tell him.+
+The warp works in chaotic ways,+ jested Toaster as they reached the entrance to the forge.
+Look here we are, can you open your garage so I don't have to leave this beauty outside?+ questioned the Forge Master as the Magos began to shift his mechadendrites into his robes.
The green robed tech-priest explained as he searched his pockets. +The garage door can only be opened by a specific sound. And I have the apparatus somewhere that will create said sound.+ Toaster pulls out a tiny green clown horn - the mark of his forge and a serial number can be seen on the bell - and squeezes it. A pathetic honk emits from it and the steel garage doors slowly open.
The Martian shuddered at the sound as he mumbles, +Clowns…+
+Hey. This is a perfect security method. Nobody has a clown horn any more, except clowns.+ argued the Magos as the Macrocarid Explorator parked inside the garage.
+So what? You let Harlequins into your forge…or worse Cegorach.+ rebuttal Forge as he started to turn off the engine.
+Surprisingly the Harlequins are too busy pranking Chaos to mess with me. Sometimes they even come here for a cup of coffee while regaling tales of pranks long past. While I do hate xenos as much as the next faithful member of the Adeptus Mechanicus, I have no wish to have another group of people attempting to kill me.+ explained Toaster.
The Forge Master remembered back to his old experiences with those eldars. +You are a braver soul than I. I once borrowed a book from the black library…and returned it a day late…I can still hear the puns and prop comedy.+
They both exited the Macrocarid Explorator as the green robed tech-priest remarked, +I myself am a fan of puns and pranks. For example, I replaced a guardsmen squad's bayonets with short metal pipes.+
+Why? Also, is that normal for you?+ the Martian asked as he stepped away from his fellow tech-priest.
Toaster turned to face his friend. +Why? A more fitting question is why not? My pranks occur at irregular rates so that my victims will not expect it. But do not worry my friend, you are safe from my pranks.+
+Yeah good to know…+ rambled Forge as something caught his attention. A terminal in the garage was shuddering, electricity sparked off the wires, and the screen saver was flashing. +Is that terminal supposed to do that?+
The Magos turned to face the OSHA hazard, his metal hands pointed finger guns at the terminal. +Um, well no. But since it is we should probably move away from it.+ Both of them followed his advice, the screensaver turned from his forge's icon to a red angry face. Toaster whispered to Forge, +I frakking told you.+ Instead of answering, the Forge Master pulled them both into the Macrocarid Explorator and shut the ramp. Luckily for them after the ramp sealed, a beam of energy obliterated the entire forge. The ramp of the Maccaroid fell off of its hinges as the pair of tech-priest looked upon the ruins.
+Wow. I knew this thing was tough, but not that tough. It looks like we're going to need to find a place to rebuild your forge, ey Toast…+
The Magos' augmented eyes flashed a crimson red. +You are no longer safe from my pranks.+ The pile of crates next to the terminal - which was surprisingly unharmed by the explosion - began to shift around. A heavy flamer revealed itself from under the green robes. After a tense 10.19 seconds, the crates clattered onto the floor allowing the pair of tech-priest to see a slightly wounded - and still angry - Fucking Soup. +Welp, this is your problem Forge. I will be outside until you are done.+
Running out of options, the Martian turned to his last hope of safety. +Uh, Rose? A little help here?+ Her only reply was a devious smirk as the astartes starting to stand up from the ground.
Rose started to sniffle as she meekly approached her father, she reached him and wrapped her arms around his left leg in a comforting hug. "Daddy…he took my terminal when all I wanted was to see you again." Fucking Soup snapped his murderous gaze upon the beyond terrified Forge Master as he waved a small white flag.
Afterword: Thanks to Forge for helping me with these Omakes. The character Fucking Soup comes from 'Angry Marine on Remnant' by Death Korps Commissinar. Since the next chapter is the Halloween Special, leave any ideas you want included in the reviews or pm it to me. Also I need some ideas for costumes that team RWBY and JNPR is going to be wearing.