Through The Ups & Downs

Couple; Harrison X Briana

Rating; Mature

Disclaimer: I do not own HTTYD or any songs I might use! In addition, from this point in the story and in future chapters, I do not own the character Ella (Eira) Solveig. She belongs to a good friend, ShadowSpirit020.

51) A Growing Distance

{Harrison's POV}

[December 10, 2019-Briana & Harrison's Apartment]

My total heal time had been estimated for three months. I was in a coma for three weeks after the initial surgery, then a few more days when I was hit with the shocking information that I had lost my leg from being shot and the explosion caused by the grenade Dominic Bludvist had set off. My ribs and wrist were healed completely, there was little scarring from the bodily injuries I sustained in the battle that occurred back in October. It was hard to believe that it was now December 10th, fifteen days until Snoggletog, and following that was the New Year; 2020. So much had changed, mainly me. I wasn't who I used to be, sadly, I didn't know who that was anymore. My upper thigh bullet wound had healed, though, I still got twinges of pain from time to time. As Emmett had said, the worst of my injuries was my left leg healing after the surgery. I had another month to go with that, it was guess to take three months total. I've served two of those so far and I was released from the hospital two weeks ago after I gave up trying to think things would ever be the same.

I couldn't pretend that it was and I couldn't lie to myself that it would be. I was medically but honorably discharged from the military and oddly enough, what I did got me promoted to Second Lieutenant. I didn't understand how? As soon as the military learned of me losing my leg, they knew I couldn't serve anymore so why promote into the officer ranks? I asked Aaron and Glenn, but all they have said is that it is what I earned for taking on a three-year operation, solo, and defeating a very dangerous adversary. I saved the dragons from enslavement by Dominic, and I protected my hometown, my entire island from Red Death. I risked my life and lost my limb doing it, that is what my former CO's told me at least. I sighed as I stared out the window of mine and Briana's new apartment, yeah, we had a new one to accommodate the fact I was considered handicapped knew, using only a wheelchair and pair of crutches to get around.

The new apartment happened two weeks before I was discharged from the hospital; after I told them I was done with physical therapy, that I just could not do it because it hurt to keep trying. Dr. Eretson said to give it more time, but I refused. I knew everyone was worried about me, they had been since that day; the one where I said I was done.

/Flashback-Two Weeks Ago/

Today was another day I'd be doing physical therapy. My leg was healed enough to try with a temporary artificial limb, in truth, I'd been working with just wearing one and using crutches for the past two weeks. Everyone was trying to show up to show his or her support. Unfortunately, for them, I was done with all this. I could not walk on the fake leg, it was not the same and it hurt too. I'd been trying different kinds of artificial limbs for two weeks and I'd just come to accept that I couldn't do it. The way I saw it, I'd never walk again. I could do enough on the crutches to get around and live an average life, that was all the hospital needed to see in order for me to be released. Since the physical therapy area wasn't big, I asked that any visitors just wait in my room for me. Emmett was with me now, so was the physical therapist I'd been working with the last few weeks and a prosthetic limb specialist.

"Come on, Harrison. Let's give it another go, this leg here is a prototype of our latest model. It's not perfected yet, but been approved for human testing. Once we finish this, it will look and move like a real leg," said the specialist.

I might as well give it a try, to humor the woman at least. I nodded to her as she took it out of the box and positioned it on my leg. When it was all set, she stepped back as the physical therapist stood in front of me while I forced myself to get up. It still hurt, I tried a few times but just couldn't get it. It's like my leg refused to do what I needed it to. Honestly, I was taking it as my sign to quit. Why bother? My life would never be what it was. I couldn't go back to the army, and I couldn't work at Berkys in this condition. I was jobless and I felt useless. I didn't care anymore, I was done with this. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Just give it some time, Harri-," Emmett began.

"I'm done, Doc," I told him.

"We've only been trying for about three weeks. We'll keep at it, perhaps you just need a little more time to heal up," Emmett offered.

"No. I'm done, Dr. Eretson. I appreciate you trying, and you as well, Miss. Caldone. Your artificial limbs are amazing, but they just don't work for me. I'm sorry, but I don't want to keep doing this. I can't. I'm done with it," I said as cringed a bit and the physical therapist helped me back into the wheelchair. "I can…get around fine in this or with crutches. I'm tired of trying, I just want to go home," I said. I heard the three of them sigh, they knew they couldn't force me to keep doing it if I didn't want to anymore.

"I'll take you back to your room and start your discharge then. It might take a week or so though. Tests to run, standard protocol, son," Emmett said as I just kept my eyes closed, nodding while he wheeled me back to my room. Right away, I heard the voices of my friends and family.

"Harrison, done with physical therapy already, son?" my father asked.

"Done altogether," I heard them gasp when I said it. "I'm sick of trying and failing with every fake limb. I can't walk anymore, it hurts. So I'm done with it. Now, if no one minds, I'd like to be left alone for a while," I said while wheeling myself over to the window and just staring out it.

"B-But lad, you can't just give up," Aaron tried.

"And you can't tell me what to do anymore and nobody here can tell me how to live my life," I snapped while clenching my fist. "I'm done and I want to be alone. Please…?" I said calmer in a low tone. The others were going to protest but I heard Glenn tell them that it was best to just leave the room for a while and let me calm down. I wasn't angry with them, but I did want to be alone with my thoughts for a bit. I was done lying to myself that things would be as they were. Nothing would ever be as it once was, this was my life now, so I might as well accept it for what it is.

/End Flashback/

So, here I am two weeks later and home again. Well, new home. As I said, Briana went and got us a new apartment that didn't have stairs. I knew she had good intentions; she wanted to make it easier for me to get around since I was handicapped now. Our new place was three bedrooms, first floor with a front and back porch, ramp for both. There was a kitchen and dining room, open concept to the living room. There was a bathroom with a place I could sit for a shower, then of course the three bedrooms. I asked her why she picked a place with three bedrooms, Briana said that it was a good deal for three so she took it. This place was only $950 a month, little more than we were paying for the old place but worth it I guess. This place had a bigger yard for the dragons, and the twins to play in. In addition, there was an indoor porch/sunroom as it was called nowadays.

There was a barn too, perfect for Toothless, Nightstar, and Stormsky. Plus, there was room for more, but as it turned out, Toothless and Stormfly were just enjoying their life together with Stormsky. Luna and Streamwing came by when Nate and Emily did. It was a nice apartment, closer to everyone too but knowing that Briana went out of her way to get this place, and everyone made such a quick move without me knowing, made me feel worse. Things were getting bad for me; I was suffering endless nightmares and flashbacks about what happened, even things from two years ago when I lost friend in Kuwait were starting to come forward and I was having a hard time coping with it all, but I was sure I could. It would…just take time. Did I mention that Glenn retired from the military after fifty years in? Glenn gave me his cell phone number, told me to call him if I needed anything.

Briana was now working a day job, she was part time military now since I wasn't working. The twins went to daycare, she'd take and bring them home everyday, and she had the weekends off. Most of the time, I was home alone, trying to do chores and having a lot of time to think. I still flew Toothless, he was kind of my only way around now. I still had my truck but didn't drive it anymore, without my left leg, I couldn't even get into it. I knew things were getting bad for me, since being home, I've started drinking. It was light at first, now I was going to the bar around 2 pm, drinking until 6 then Toothless would bring me home. Also, I was smoking cigarettes and nobody knew about it. At the same time, I didn't care. This was my life, wasn't it? Tonight, everyone was supposed to be coming over, it was a once a week thing to check on me. Honestly, I was getting annoyed with it, I suppose I couldn't blame them for worrying though. Hell, I was starting to worry about myself and how far down I've gone.

[7 pm]

As expected; most everyone was over. My parents, Briana's, Nate, Alex, Jasmine too. With them there was Skye, Trevor, Hailey, Dexter, Syrus, Regina, Frankie, TJ, Addilyn, and Andy. Olivia and Chelsea had a double date with their boyfriends tonight. Glenn was over, but Aaron had work. Although I wasn't doing the physical therapy anymore, Dr. Eretson let me keep one of the fake legs, it was a temporary one. Just something so I could feel like there was a leg there, it let me where pants and a shoe to look a little normal. Yeah, I was self-conscious about it, and Emmett said that was to be expected. At the moment, I was saying much to anything and watching the news.

"How was your day, Harrison?" Addilyn asked.

"Same as every day, Addy. I wake up, I shower, I do a few chores, go for a fly, then sit here," I told her. Yeah, this was way too quiet for my liking. I grabbed my crutches that sat beside my chair and got up slowly, then moved towards the back porch. "Toothless!" I called and gave a whistle. Not more than five minutes later, Toothless came to the back porch door as and I forced myself onto his back, then kept the crutches across my thighs.

"Harrison, wait, where are you going?" Briana asked me quickly.

"I just need to get out for a while. I'll be home later," I said before kissing her cheek and Toothless launched into the dark sky. Ten minutes later, we were at the bar. I put Toothless in the stable with a small bucket of fish, then water. I made my way into the bar and grabbed a stool as the barkeep made his way over to me. I handed him my ID knowing it was the first thing he'd check, after that, he smiled and handed it back.

"What will it be tonight, my friend?" he asked.

"My usual, Dylan," I replied to him. The man nodded and fixed up my drink, then handed it to me.

"Made it a double for you, seems like you're having a rough night," Dylan smiled.

"Thanks," I sighed and took a long drink from it. It wasn't like me to leave the house to come drinking, everyone knew I drank, but not this heavy and right now, I didn't care if they found out. I needed to do something, think about anything other than the memory of that horrific day.

{Normal POV}

[Three Hours Later]

Everyone was preparing to leave the young Haddock's residence, feeling that Harrison would not be returning anytime soon. Moreover, they didn't even know where he was. As they were heading for the door, the landline rang as Briana answered it.

"Hello?" Briana said after pressing the button. At first, she was confused. "Yes, this is Harrison's wife. Who may I ask are you?" she inquired. Finally, they saw her eyes turn to shock and widen with concern. "Thank you for calling, we've been wondering where he was for three hours. How is he?" she wondered as the group was wondering who was on the phone. Briana put it on speaker now as they heard a male voice talking.

"He's wasted. Harrison has been slamming the drinks back for nearly two hours, and I cut him off and gave him water to help him sober up, but he went to the restroom and started throwing up. One of the other bar patrons informed me. Also, in there, he seemed to be, I don't know how to word it. Stuck in some kind of flashback, he looked terrified; holding his head and shaking it side to side if anyone tried to touch him. All that aside, he is okay now. I have him in a booth now, but he's out of it, tired, and needs to be picked up so he can get some rest," the man said.

"I'll come get him," Briana said gently, after that the call ended.

"We'll go get him," Trevor and Syrus offered. Briana nodded as she sat down, trying to take in what the bartender said about Harrison. Trevor and Syrus left, the others decided to stay to make sure Briana was going to be okay and check on Harrison when he was delivered home. Twenty minutes later, Trevor and Syrus returned, helping Harrison inside and to the bedroom. Harrison was knocked out, likely from drinking so much. None of them really knew what to do about this, if they told Harrison to talk to someone, he wouldn't. However, they knew something needed to happen because Harrison was becoming distant from everyone, and tonight proved it because Harrison left the house to go to the bar and drink until he couldn't think straight anymore. The distance was only growing and they needed to stop it without pushing Harrison too much. It was clear that Harrison was having a hard time adjusting, perhaps too much time alone was making it worse. It was all they could do, for now, keep an eye on him, make sure he wasn't alone every day.