Through The Ups & Downs

Couple; Harrison X Briana

Rating; Mature

Disclaimer: I do not own HTTYD or any songs I might use! In addition, from this point in the story and in future chapters, I do not own the character Ella (Eira) Solveig. She belongs to a good friend, ShadowSpirit020.

52) Rock Bottom

{Normal POV}

[April 24, 2020-Briana & Harrison's Apartment]

Harrison was completely depressed and suffering from severe PTSD over what happened to him, the worst part of it all was that no one knew. Briana, his parents, her parents, Nate, Alex, Jasmine, and all their friends didn't know what he was going through because he wouldn't let them see how much this was destroying him. Snoggletog and the New Year had come and gone, it was now April in the year 2020. Harrison had turned twenty-two-years-old in February, this had been one of those years where the twenty-ninth actually came. On the fourteenth of April, Briana turned twenty-two as well. Harrison tried to hide his depression from them, but it wasn't the easiest task to accomplish because everyone had been keeping a close watch on him since that night at the bar in December. Glenn had been the one to point out that Harrison was likely suffering a little depression from not being able to do all the things he used to do.

Briana's biggest fear was that Harrison had PTSD from the incident, and Glenn confirmed that Harrison probably did have a slight case of it, but also that it was normal. The event was traumatic for Harrison, so much that when he'd woken up after a three-week coma, Harrison thought it was still the year 2016 when he had been in the hospital donating bone marrow to Nate, then he noticed the date was 2019, also that his leg was gone. It was so shocking that Harrison blacked out. Upon waking up, he knew what happened to him just by listening to all of his visitors talk about the situation. Aaron had stopped by a few times at Glenn's mention of PTSD setting in, that forced the Major of Sky Striker Company to stop by and talk to everyone about what had been going on lately, because he wanted to make sure Harrison wasn't on the verge of a breakdown where he could hurt himself or attempt suicide. That alone made everyone scared, it wasn't an easy day to accept that information.

/Flashback to January 2020/

It was one week into the New Year, Harrison was still quiet and drinking heavily. Ten to one, Briana and anyone who came over at night to visit would see a beer or stronger drink in a glass with ice in Harrison's hand. When it hit a point that Briana noticed Harrison was just about drunk every night, maybe not wasted or hammered, but still drunk. One of the times Glenn was over and Harrison was taking a flight on Toothless, Briana confided in him that she was worried for her husband.

"Glenn, I'm scared for him. Something is wrong and he won't talk about it," Briana said lightly with a sigh. The twins were with her parents today, so it gave Briana some time to think and she was convinced that Harrison had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. "I think he has PTSD,"

"Well, the chance of him having a small case of it is high, Briana. You have to remember what he went through, lass. Harrison took on a three-year operation to track that target down and learn about Red Death, something he thought was a weapon of mass destruction," Glenn reminded.

"Well, it might not have been a real weapon, but that Dominic guy trained it to be one," Syrus stated softly.

"Exactly. Harrison raced back here from Syria to take that dragon on, then when he was faced with losing his the people he cares about, Harrison was willing to give up his freedom to save everyone. On top of being exhausted from the fight with Red Death, Harrison then took on Dominic alone. After all said and done, Dominic cornered Harrison with a grenade that Harrison barely escaped from. It was a near death experience, and that is likely to continue to bother him because the reminder of the attack is on him, the loss of his leg," Glenn informed.

"Glenn, I know my husband and I understand that he's got the reminder, but there's more going on and I'm scared. Harrison can't get through one night without waking up from a nightmare. I'll wake up around 2-3 am and watch Harrison toss and turn in the bed, he'll start mentioning friends he's lost from that tour in Kuwait, he'll wake up with no warning, sit up, barely be able to catch his breath, and sweating," Briana admitted.

"I'll talk to Aaron about it. We did evaluate him, but perhaps now that time has passed, he could be feeling differently about all that happened. Keep your chin up, lass," Glenn patted her knees as he got up to make a phone call to Aaron.

[A Week Later]

Aaron was over, he'd taken Harrison for an hour or so to talk and when they came back, Harrison went for a fly with Toothless. Aaron sat down with the others who were over to make sure Harrison was okay. "Harrison does have PTSD, he told me about the nightmares and it's all because of what happened to him. I sent him through small evaluation with me, standard procedure in these situations to make sure that he's not on the verge of breaking down," Aaron started.

"W-Why would he break down?" Viviana asked gently, becoming afraid.

""Unfortunately, it happens when something traumatic like this happens and it's my job as his former CO to make sure he's…shall we say, stable in a mental sense. In short, I have to make sure he's not a threat to anyone or himself. Some soldiers his such a bad state after discharge that they are overcome with everything related to what happened to them. In Harrison's case, he lost his leg due to a military operation, so its common that now, he starts remembering everything military related, both the good and bad. However, in some situations, a soldier will remember so much that they begin thinking that's where they are, still in danger. For example, remember when Harrison woke up after donating to Nathaniel, he freaked out and covered his head, shaking it, Glenn had to tell him he was safe and that it was okay?" Aaron reminded.

"Yeah, we remember that. Was…that a form of PTSD?" Trevor inquired.

"Aye. Due to something that happened when he was deployed to Afghanistan for those two months before returning here when Nate called him. There was a situation where Harrison found himself surrounded by enemies after being knocked out for several minutes, his team on that mission got him out. However, when he woke up with all of you around, he didn't know it was you, he thought he was in danger of being killed. That's why Glenn had to snap him out of it. That is PTSD, when similar events to past ones come back, makes the person relive those feelings and sometimes forget where they are," Aaron stated.

"So, why hasn't he gotten any help for this. Doesn't…PTSD untreated get worse?" Addilyn wondered.

"If it had gone untreated, yes. However, Harrison did come and speak to myself and Aaron about what happened and we worked with him to get through it," Glenn informed.

"Harrison is okay, everything you're seeing happen is normal. It takes a long time to recover emotionally and mentally from situations like these. You just have to give him his space. Don't worry about the drinking, it's not out of control and it helps him sleep. I'm sure you've noticed that he's not having as much trouble anymore. Normally, we wouldn't advise drinking as a coping mechanism, but, Harrison admitted to me that he tried sleeping pills and it started increasing suicidal thoughts so he stopped taking them," Aaron said. "Just give him time, it's only been three months since the accident, and recovering from something like this is not easy," The others sighed and nodded to Aaron. What else could they do? If Harrison told Aaron he was okay, just coping, then there was no reason no to believe him, right?

/End Flashback/

Thus since then, everyone was giving Harrison his space while still keeping a close eye on him because Aaron did say that if Harrison started to show signs of shutting down, wanting to hurt himself, or anything like that to call him right away. It wasn't what anyone wanted to hear, but they knew that the possibility was there so they would watch from a distance so they didn't crowd him too much. Aaron warned that if they tried to push him to be okay before he was ready, Harrison would push away from them and that's when things could get worse because if they did too much to try and help him, Harrison would start feeling useless because he can't do it himself. Today was one of those days where Briana was working, the twins were at daycare, and Harrison was home alone.

For Harrison's side of things, everything was getting worse and he didn't want to do this anymore. Harrison's nightmares were controlled with alcohol, but that didn't stop flashbacks during the day. Harrison was breaking down about everything. The loss of his leg, being unable to walk anymore, everything he endured in Kuwait and on that secret operation. Harrison just wanted it to stop and it wouldn't, he felt so useless and helpless like no matter what, he would never be able to do things without someone helping him. At the moment, Harrison was on the floor in the living room near the wall and crying. Harrison couldn't do anything anymore even though he was completely healed now, the others tried to get him to try physical therapy again, but Harrison refused. What point was there?

That's how Harrison felt right now, that there was no point to anything. Harrison's life would never be what it was and he wasn't himself anymore, what point was there in trying to fake it? What reason did Harrison have to stay alive? Harrison couldn't chase his sons or make love to his wife. The last time they'd done anything was for Briana's birthday a few weeks ago, it wasn't an awesome experience because Harrison couldn't do what he used to and so it ended with Harrison on his back and Briana riding him. This is how it had been since the doctor cleared him to be healed in January. Harrison felt that Briana deserved a complete husband and that is sons deserved to have a father who could do more with them. With the twins getting older now, it was hard for Briana to manage them and Harrison couldn't do much to help.

Harrison had no reason to live anymore. Why would he want to live this life? Harrison didn't know who he was anymore and to him, that meant that everything he was living wasn't his to live. Harrison couldn't stand this, he just wanted it to stop. Harrison was drinking heavy from a bottle of Southern Comfort, Harrison wouldn't do this anymore. Harrison grabbed his pocketknife, one of his only military object left beside his uniform that hung in the bedroom closet with a pair of boots and his dog tags. Harrison opened the blade and through the falling tears, Harrison slit his wrists, a few times on each. The searing pain made him forget about the flashbacks; then Harrison had a bottle of pills next to him too, he'd been contemplating it most of the day, to kill himself and that's what led to the break down. Harrison grabbed the pills shakily; he opened it and poured about five into his hand, way over the recommended dose which was one every four hours because they were 500 mg a piece.

Harrison tossed the pills into his mouth and chased them down with the alcohol. It wouldn't matter soon, he'd be dead before anyone got home. Harrison sat against the wall, bleeding and waiting for the pills to overtake him, he ended up taking two more. Harrison couldn't feel anything anymore, which is exactly what he'd been aiming for. Harrison felt tired and weak, he swayed a few times and his crutches fell, hitting the table by the couch and knocking a few things over including a picture. Harrison slowly reached for it and picked the frame up; he turned it over and saw the picture there. It was the day in the hospital when Briana gave birth to the twins, the day they got married too. Harrison didn't realize he'd started crying again and ask himself why he was killing himself. Harrison didn't want to die, he just wanted to be him again. Harrison coughed a few times as he struggled to reach for his cell phone, which was on the center table a few feet away.

Harrison let himself fall forward and crawl slowly to the table, he hissed at the pain to his wrists and was having a hard time staying focused. Harrison reached his phone, and called someone he knew was close, and could help him. Glenn. Harrison pressed the green button and put it on speakerphone.

"Hello?"

"H-He…lp m-me. Pl…ease hel…p m-me," Harrison forced out weakly.

"Harrison? What's wrong, lad? You sound terrible," Glenn responded.

"N-Ne..ed…hel-," Harrison started again, and then he threw up. Harrison coughed hard, it sounded like he was choking. "N-Not…ok…ay. P-Plea..se…he…lp," he managed.

"I'm on my way, Harrison. Stay on the phone with me now. Can you tell me what happened, lad? Are you alone? Are you sick? Ya need to tell me what's wrong so I can help you," Glenn stated. Harrison didn't answer, he was trying to stay conscious but it wasn't working so well for him. "Harrison? Harrison, answer me?" Harrison was breathing heavily, things getting blurry around him. "Harrison!" With Glenn, he was holding the phone to his ear while driving to Harrison's apartment as fast as he could. Harrison wasn't answering and it sounded bad. Glenn reached Harrison's place five minutes later and rushed to the door, opening it quickly and seeing Harrison on the floor, barely hanging to consciousness.

Glenn saw what happened; the alcohol tipped over, a bottle of pills slightly spilled onto the floor, and the bloody pocketknife was all Glenn needed to figure it out. Harrison broke down and tried to kill himself. Glenn hurried to Harrison's side to check on him while getting his phone out to call an ambulance. "I-I'm…sor…ry," Harrison managed.

"Ssh now. Focus on staying awake, Harrison," Glenn ordered.

"I-I don't…wa…nt to…d-die. I want…h-hel…p," Harrison said weakly.

"And we'll get you that help, son. I promise, but you have to stay awake and throw it up if you can," Glenn said, not that it took long, but Harrison threw up in the small trash bin by the couch, he was still crying. Sirens could be heard now, paramedics rushed in to assist.

"A-Ad…mit…me," Harrison coughed through the tears. "I-I can't…control…this anymore,"

"Where should we take him?" the paramedic asked who was wrapping Harrison's wrists.

"Take him to the veteran psychiatric hospital, tell them that the patient is Harrison Haddock, and that it was an attempted suicide, but has chosen to admit himself for help," Glenn said. The paramedics nodded as they got Harrison on the gurney after hooking up an IV for fluids. Glenn got up and followed them out, only to find Briana and the others there, full of fear and not understanding. Glenn hadn't wanted to be the one to tell them that Harrison tried to kill himself, but it seemed it would be him after all. Right now, what was important was getting Harrison the help he needed and apparently wanted. All Glenn knew was that for Harrison to cut his wrists and attempt to overdose, he had hit rock bottom.