For some reason, I want to get over Midoriya
It's already been a week since my last decent conversation with Midoriya. We did talk during classes... but he still avoids my gazes and refuses to look me in the eyes when talking. I honestly feel like shit...
Normally on days like these, I hang out with either Momo or Midoriya. Currently, I'm hanging out with Setsuna Tokage... and I have been for a couple of days now. I gotta be honest, Tokage brings out something in me. Most of the time, she talks about her day with utter glee, which reminds me of Mina but the aura is more relaxed. She opens up to me about what and how she feels, and how she deals with it, even if they're really personal. This doesn't happen normally, but I don't really mind hearing her out...
I myself began to open up to her too.
I don't usually open up to anyone other than my parents or Momo, the people I know I can trust. I trust her enough to tell her about my situation with Midoriya, my relationship with him and how I ended it. I trust her enough to let my guard down when it comes to these secrets.
Classes just ended for the day, everyone is walking back to the dorms. Walking to the dorms all at the same time is a drag, especially when you see your ex-boyfriend with his current girlfriend, arm in arm. Even though I ended things between us, seeing them together never did fail to irritate me. I glance at Tokage, observing her features. She has that serene look on her, facing down as we walk side by side. I found myself at ease, having forgotten what I was irritated about. Probably noticing my gaze on her, she faced me and smiled slyly.
"Now don't you fall in love with me, Kyoka Jiro."
"W-What?!"
"Kidding!"
She bursted into laughter after seeing how I reacted, damn this woman for being this cunning. I just returned my gaze at the path we're walking on, smiling to myself...
Fall in love with her... That would be nice...
"I finally got a smile from you!"
"What?"
Have I been smiling?
"Dude, it's been a while since I saw you smile."
"We laughed at Monoma and Kendo during lunch."
"That wasn't as beautiful as this one though."
"H-Hey! What are you saying?!"
She just continued to laugh at my reaction. It took a while before she finally stop and calm herself down.
"Geez, you better stop saying things like that, else I'll actually fall for you..."
"Then that would be fine, awesome even."
"What?!"
"Calm down, Kyoka!"
"Dude!"
I feel my face heat up in embarassment.Dude! What the hell?!
"I'm serious though. I wouldn't mind you liking me like that, I honesty think that it's actually great."
"Why would you say that?"
"Cuz I like you."
What?
"Dude, I'm serious, stop joking around."
"But I actually do."
Is she for real?
"Why would you say that to me though?"
"I don't really mind telling you, I think it's better that I tell you myself instead of hearing it from a gossip. I don't really like it when people got to tell you that I love you before I do."
I have heard that Tokage's quite open about herself, I just didn't know she was this open.
"Though I am quite surprised I've managed to keep it this long."
"Dude, we've known each other for about a week. I mean we have known each other before, but we never really spoke."
"And I still like you. It doesn't matter if we just recently met, all that matters is that I want to keep feeling this way. I feel happy when I'm with you. I couldn't really put much of what I feel into words, but I feel as if I always want to be with you."
That still doesn't...
All that matters is that I want to keep feeling this way...
"I'm sorry! But I don't know how to put what I feel into words, I can't understand it myself. I don't know how I love you, but I don't doubt it either."
A feeling that can't be put into words...
"Please... Please don't leave me..."
A feeling that can't be doubted...
Is this really love?
Silence consumed the two of us as we walk to our dorms, I honestly think that the awkwardness can be visibly seen radiating off of me. I'll do what I think is right.
"Tokage, I have a question."
"Hmm? Shoot."
"Even if I wouldn't feel the same way, would you still love me?"
"Of course. I love you because I feel like it, not because I want you to feel the same... and according to what you said, making you feel the same way shouldn't be a problem."
She smiled gleefully. I really can't tell if she's serious or not... but some part in me wants her to be. When she smiled, I felt a funny feeling inside my stomach... similar to when I saw Midoriya's smile...
"I guess... I really wouldn't mind..."
"Wouldn't mind what?"
"Falling in love with you"
"You don't have to."
"But I want to. I'm doing it because I feel like it... and I'm not about to disappoint someone who loves me, not again."
I didn't regret my actions then, I won't regret my actions now.
"If you wouldn't mind, Setsuna... I can be your girlfriend."
"Then I would gladly take you up on that offer!"
I want to do things differently now, I want to know what it feels like to truly be in love with someone.
To truly know what I really feel.